Question: “The WRONG WAY To Take Responsibility”
What do you think of Pastor John Gray’s message below?
“…Things and blogs some of them accurate some of it not but all of it, my responsibility. I apologize for putting the name of God in harm’s way and I alone take the responsibility for the actions that harmed and injured God’s sheep. No matter how many pseudo excuses one can hurl in a moment like this for the purposes of self preservation, all of them ring hollow when all that is true…”
I sincerely wish that he would just excuse himself from church like “You know what, let me go get myself together”.
I really wish he didn’t have all these long speeches, it has no meaning.
It just makes him look worse.
He’s saying that he takes responsibility but in the same talking he is saying not everything is accurate like, dude you are talking too much right now.
So the fact that he came and tendered this apology within a week of this news breaking out is a narcissist behavior.
He cares about himself more and what it looks like to the people.
That’s what it is.
But some people say something like, “You use a little piece of fart to mess up all of the apology that’s about to come”.
The part where he said “some of it accurate, some of it not”, that destroyed the apology because he is still being defensive.
That’s the problem.
You know, if you understand anything about emotional energy and how these things work, and the effect of everything you say…
starting from the first letter, it’s a domino effect, so if you say the wrong thing in the beginning you might as well not worry about saying the right things.
Because that one thing was stamped in the head of the person.
So when he said “the blogs some of it accurate”, that means the news that they released to the blog and “some of it not” that destroyed every piece of apology what he is about to give.
That’s the wrong way to take responsibility.
It’s definitely the wrong way to apologize.
If an apology was ever needed, that’s definitely the wrong way to apologize.
And it’s the wrong way to ask for forgiveness because you are still saying it’s their fault.
Even though in that same sentence, in the same breath, you said “I take responsibility for it all”,
…no dude you said in the beginning.
That first thing you said has that much weight because the weight is not based in just one word, the weight is based on the impact that it puts on the particular situation that is going on.
You know, the idea is just supposed to take responsibility but you added some of that responsibility…
you’ve added a blame a little bit.
So you are saying “they are not accurate… I take responsibility”,
You didn’t take responsibility because your action speaks louder than your words.
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Even the body language says that “I just wanna be holy and tell you that it was not my fault. It was the blog’s fault but I am going to pretend that I meant it was my fault but…”
You are confused you should have taken the time, that will be humbling yourself and listening to what just happened.
Clearly you made the mess because you were the one talking on the video, to the side piece.
Yeah… There’s a video, that’s the problem.
You can’t even argue with the video.
It is out there and you can’t come back from that.
Just let it go, take yourself into therapy or whatever you need to do to take care of this situation.
Take care of that.
But you can’t be in the face of people right now.
I wish he just took that time off and said “I need to get out of here”.
For a string of maybe three weeks or something.
So the best and right way to take responsibility, if you’ve offended your wife, which that’s what he should be focused on, not with the church.
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You know what, to hell with the church, he should be focusing with his wife right now because as the saying goes “Charity begins at home”.
If he focuses on his wife and his wife comes back to him in a good peace, people will have no choice but to respect that…
And people can tell by their actions.
If they want they should not respect it but I understand that he has to feed his family.
But there are ways to do that without him.
I’m just saying.