5 Things That Will Make Your Wife Miss You During Separation 💔

In this lesson, you will discover 5 things that you can focus on to make your wife miss you during a separation in marriage.  

Sorry to hear that you may be going through this but I got you.  I want to tell you a story about James and his wife who are separated but living together.

So James was a guy who dropped us an email.  He has been separated from his wife for a while now due to multiple issues. 

Based on his confession, his wife finally had enough of him constantly putting her down and she asked for a separation with the goal of divorce. 

They have been married since 2010 and have two kids together. 

According to him, the kids are why they have decided to live together but separated for the time being.

James doesn’t want divorce but he understands that his wife is comfortable and will need to miss their romance in order to get back together; hence his question.

Believe it or not, separation may not have been a bad thing for your marriage.  

PREVIOUS POST: 10 Signs Your Wife Just Slept With Someone Else 💔

There is a Nigerian Yoruba proverb that says

“Agbo ti o fi eyin rin lo, agbara ni o lo mu wa.”

Which in loose translation means:

“The ram that moves backwards has gone to bring more power.”

This can be true for your marriage also… especially if you lean in and pay attention to these 5 things that go over most people’s heads.

Let’s be honest.  Emotions are high during separation on at least one side of the relationship; usually on both sides.

So everything I say to you today will be easier said than done. Nonetheless, it will increase your chances of attracting healthy love.

If you are a wife who is trying to make your husband miss you during separation, these lessons are also applicable.

But with a slight difference according to the sexual polarity based on the dynamics of masculine and feminine energy in your relationship.

With that being said, let’s dive into the 5 things….

Thing #5 – Attraction


When there is a breakdown in attraction, the negative things are easier to focus on than all the numerous positive things happening, evident by the fact that there is room to complain.

This behavior subsequently creates the further deterioration of attraction in the marriage and this is why most couples in separation are in a vicious cycle.

Guess what you can start doing to rebuild attraction; the direct opposite.  Whatever you focus on expands; positive or negative.  

So one extremely seductive thing you can do now is to make a different choice; focus on all the positive things and ignore the negative things unless it is safety, security or core value related.

Thing #4 – Gratitude

This is an attitude to life.  It is still true to a large extent that you attract things into your life based on your attitude about life.

In the midst of separation, most people become very weak to the point that all they can do is swing along with things and wing things along.

They also tend to point fingers at everyone and everything else but self which is another way to disengage from self-improvement.

If your wife doesn’t get pointing-fingers from you, she will miss you because she will gradually start growing respect for you.

Thing #3 – Purpose

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

Without a strong personal purpose in life, there is a good chance that you will have a lot of time in your hands for nonsensical activities.

You know what they say about the idle mind; it’s the devil’s playground right?  

If you are thinking about your separation right now, there is a chance that you are not as engaged with your personal life mission and purpose.

When you are engaged with your purpose as a man, it’s only natural for you to create a space of respect and healthy distance around you without you having to ignore her.

Your wife will miss you because she can feel the change especially if you both have good memories from the past together.

Thing #2 – Self-Love

This is simpler than most people understand.  If you don’t love yourself, others, including your estranged wife, will mimic that behavior.

It has to be absolutely clear to her that you love yourself way too much to wait around and throw your life away for her to miss being in love with you.

She doesn’t get to decide if she wants to miss you or not if you get this right.

Thing #1 – Let-Go


I understand that it is almost an oxymoron to ask you to “let go” while trying to make your wife miss you; I’m guessing… in order to rekindle romance in your marriage.

Think about it.  Your wife is running for a reason.  

From a mental standpoint, the last thing you want to do to a person who feels like running is to convince them otherwise. 

People don’t run from what they passive as pleasure or relief.  They run from pain or anything they perceive as painful at least until you change that experience for them.

So “letting go” for you may feel painful which is why you may naturally be running from the idea of letting go but that is where the work lies for you.

So tell me in the comment area which of these 5 things has proven to be the hardest for you to do and we will see about doing a video tip on making it easier for you.

Don’t forget to download your free book

Get My Marriage Back at:


Also check out the 30 minutes free coaching and discovery session that we will give you access to right after the download.

Hit the like button and check out the video on the screen for more information on how to rekindle and build an awesome marriage and legacy without being a simp or a pick-me.

Codependency In Marriage? 5 Actionable Steps💔

In this lesson, you will discover 5 actionable steps to seducing your husband towards saving your marriage and finally building real love.

Cynthia was struggling with codependency within the context of being in a marriage to a depressed man.

Her husband claims to love her, in love with her, love being around her but the marriage just doesn’t feel the same to him any longer.

She became confused and didn’t know where to start with trying to rekindle things.  In fact, she had started to resent him because he refused counseling for 18 months.

As usual, we offered Cynthia these 5 actionable steps to help her create new experiences and attract her husband to desire life and love again.

Feel free to copy and paste this into your marriage if you are going through similar issues.

1st Step To Save Your Marriage – Believe Him

PREVIOUS POST: 5 Rules to Follow When Separation Starts to Work For Your Marriage💔

While you may feel like your husband is being disingenuous with the excuses for not feeling the same way about your marriage, you need to believe him.

Keep in mind that believing him doesn’t translate to believing that he is telling the truth.

You are simply believing that he has chosen the best way he dimmed fit to express his experience.

The actual truth will always be a function of time and your ability to take the next 4 steps in saving your marriage.

Also by believing him, you will transfer some of that anxiety you are carrying over to him as he wonders why you are not feeling a need to push back.

This is how believing him could play out.  Just say this after expressing himself.

“Okay.  What else is on your mind?”  The idea is to create a surprise element as to why you are not overreacting.  

By doing so, you would have helped create a new experience in your marriage.  You will also be able to feed your codependency in a healthy way by practicing giving.

2nd Step – Don’t Diagnose Him

These days, most women would pick up psychological books and start labeling their spouse different psychology and mental health-related terminologies.

I am talking about terms and self-diagnosis such as:

  • Narcissist
  • Controlling
  • Depression
  • Cognitive Disorder
  • Anxiety
  • Socially Awkward
  • And ETC.

This is a great mistake because it will get the husband to naturally raise his guards.

When you label your husband as such (even if you are right), you would be effectively focusing on all the negative things and you will push him further away.

Anything you focus on will expand in your marriage; positive or negative.  So it is in your best interest to avoid self-diagnosis of any type; not even self-diagnosing yourself.

If some type of psychological disorder diagnosis is necessary, the 5th step in this lesson will be the proper way to achieve that.

So it is important to not tear down with random diagnosis, especially when you know that you may want to depend on this person later.

3rd Step – Give Him Space

TRENDING: 5 Rules to Follow When Separation Starts to Work For Your Marriage💔

If you have codependency traits, this is going to be very hard for you but that is actually a good thing. Let me explain.

Anything or anyone that’s readily available gets taken for granted.  I will guess that the last space you want to be in your marriage is to be easily taken for granted.

This is a balancing act.  While it is nice to be able to spend as much time as possible with a person you love, keep in mind that this is “another person.”

So when you are in a marriage with a person that keeps going back and forth with divorce threats, they obviously are taking you for granted.

At this point, the reason is irrelevant because if your husband values you at this moment, he wouldn’t be interested in potentially losing you.

So the best way to reverse that is to give him the space he is suggesting to the best of your ability.  

That doesn’t necessarily have to be filing the divorce.  

I am talking about space as small as just a moment for them to process how they are feeling.  It can also be as big as a few nights in a nice hotel room.

It’s also good to help you balance out your codependency traits.  We all depend on each other but you do not want to be operating in codependency at a toxic level.

How do you know if it’s toxic?

It becomes toxic when a partner you depend on starts to take you for granted; some space for yourself (more importantly) is necessary at that point.

4th Step – Activate Self Love

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

At this stage, it will be extremely helpful for you to activate self-love at its highest level possible because you just can’t attract what you cannot give to yourself.

Excessive emotional and psychological dependency on another human, especially if it’s a spouse, is a direct result of suffering.

If you were already giving yourself love, you would probably crave less for it.

In real life, it means learning your personal love language and loving yourself in that language; your environment will have no choice but to mimic after you.

This is easier said than done especially if you are codependent but this is the work and in this space lies the greatest rewards from your marriage.

5th Step To Save Your Marriage – Invite To Counseling


Please do not attempt this step if you have not personally engaged in counseling, therapy, or coaching personally in addition to steps 1- 4.

It is almost always equivalent to manipulation and gaslighting when your first solution is to drag your husband to therapy and counseling.

Most people go there to point fingers and it usually creates more problems.  

It is key to be prepared as an individual which is how you will learn how to properly invite your husband to therapy and take full advantage of it.

Also, if there is any necessary clinical diagnosis of a psychological disorder, it will be better received since it is coming from a professional who is trained to do so.

Yes, he may seem depressed.  You may be accurate but you will create more problems for yourself if you call him depressed.  This may be the missing wisdom.

Hit the like button and check out the video on the screen for more information on how to prepare yourself to better seduce your husband into life and love together again.

5 Tips to Stop Divorce after Separation📍⁉️ ❤️

I received this question about a man who wants to make his wife stop divorce after they are already separated.

“She said [I don’t want to continue]. 

We were under pressure due to being in the middle of moving to Canada but we were in our schedule and plan.

 We had good sex, happy weekend, and I love her and she always said [I love you].

After separation, we went to counseling and he said [the issues that your wife mentioned can be solved and these are no huge problems.]

A few family members that I spoke with had the same idea that these problems are not the kind of problems that make a marriage.

I did whatever she wanted during the 10 months.

We have two daughters and I cannot imagine how our marriage is falling apart.

She has not filed for divorce yet but she said she will. 

I don’t know; How should I stop her.”

Here are 5 tips to give this gentleman the best chance of stopping the divorce and calling off the separation based on his email. 

how to stop divorce after separation

1 – Confidence

You can’t stop someone from filing a divorce but you can use reverse psychology to attract her back with confidence.

2 – Self Love

Also, by first loving yourself 

If you think you can physically stop her or bribe her to stop the divorce, it won’t work and if it did, it will work against you.

Because the same reason why she wants to leave you is probably still there.

3 – Listen without Judgement.

It’s a sign that you have not been listening when you narrate a story that seems like a sudden jump from a happy marriage to an unhappy marriage.

You and I cannot solve a problem that we have not identified.

4 – Identify & Acknowledge the Expressed Problem

If she said she didn’t want to continue 10 months ago, that’s the evidence that there was problem even if you are not necessarily the cause of the problem

A lot of men especially are oblivious.

This gentleman thought everything was good and on schedule, because they were having good sex and expressed liver verbally to each other.

But maybe you have a wife that basically wants to protect your feelings and won’t really speak her mind like most women.

It’s not an uncommon problem to not have paid attention to these common issues in a marriage; there were issues and you just didn’t know.

She may love you but she probably hasn’t been in love with you for a while.

ON THE PREVIOUS POST: 5 Signs Your wife is NOT Attracted to You ❤️https://lolaandola.com/signs-my-wife-is-not-attracted-to-me/

5 – Never Involve Extended Family Members

This is one of the problems.

Washing your dirty laundry in public will magnify the symptoms of the underlying issue in your marriage.

Speaking to extended family members about your significant other is definitely an abomination that you will pay for with shame.

That will make your situation worse than it already is.

While you may have just been in the heat of a moment when reporting to your extended family member, they will get the chance to get out of the funk of that moment.

When you’ve resolved your issues with your spouse, they are stuck in it and will continue to directly or most commonly indirectly instigate more problems for your marriage.

They have a natural bias and it can be for or again either spouse; even the fact that they feel the need to suppress biases becomes a bias.

All of these make your issues get bigger and bigger. 

You want to make sure that your extended family always experiences your highlights and happiness only; it doesn’t mean you have to pretend.

Just make it a point and your responsibility to discourage washing dirty laundry in public as your extended family has now become public.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

You will end up destroying your marriage if you do not heed to this advice; I’ve been there done that…

They will single-handedly (with your help) destroy your marriage for you; not their fault, you invited them and gave them the pass.



There is no such thing as “small and petty” issues in a marriage; in fact, the smaller the issue is, the more it can slowly surely kill a marriage.

They are all real issues because these are emotional matters that can destroy a marriage 10 years before it manifests in real life.

That’s why your spouse can still love, make love and participate until the seemingly sudden shut off from the marriage.

You must learn effective communication which is dominated by effective listening in your marriage; it’s listening to emotions.

If all you are doing is listening to the words, you will end up feeling like you’ve done all that your spouse asked for and still feel inadequate.

You will manipulate more than actually attracting your spouse to love you unconditionally and finding delight in making you happy.

Listening indefinitely 

  • Without an agenda
  • Without a need to reply or respond
  • Without retaliation and attacks
  • Without being defensive

Listening in patience works 100% of the time in your favor and most likely in the favor of your marriage because your spouse will feel heard. 


Bonus – Pattern Interruption

Whatever you have been doing is not working so it’s time to back off a little and let your spouse come back to you. 

Most likely, you are coming off as predictable which means your spouse knows everything about you and how you feel about the issues.

The attraction is low (about 6 or 7 on a scale of 1 to 10) right now.

Spend the next 30 days reading this book “Get My Marriage Back” which you can download for free as a PDF…. learn how.

When your spouse wonders about you, it’s the equivalence of a rising level of attraction between the two of you.

Your spouse doesn’t have control of that; nature does.

Divorce being filed or not is irrelevant; the worst case scenario is that she may have to marry you again… focus on building yourself and allow God to work on her.

Inevitably, you will attract the love you deserve and not necessarily desire unless you do the work.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I save my marriage and stop divorce?

There are 5 tips I can give you but the first is to make sure that you are giving self-love a prioritized attention; you can’t give what you can’t give yourself.

At what point can you stop a divorce?

At what point can you stop a divorce?
In order to stop divorce, you have to wait till the stage when the other party can receive the idea or better yet when it’s their idea.

How can I legally stop divorce?

It depends on your jurisdiction; consult with a local divorce attorney to help you navigate the legalities or divorce proceeding.

How can I stop divorce?

The best way to stop divorce is to reverse engineer attraction back into your relationship and marriage until stopping divorce comes as an idea from your spouse.

How do you rekindle a marriage during separation?

There are 5 tips I can give you to rekindle your marriage but first, make sure that you are giving self-love a prioritized attention; you can’t give what you can’t give yourself.

Does separation prevent divorce?

Separation can prevent divorce but it doesn’t always prevent divorce especially when you are just winging things and not engaging in learning how attraction works in a marriage.

How do you become patient during separation?

Take the separation time to focus on self-love, self-confidence, self-development, self-improvement and be content with the possibility that your spouse may never come back; patience is defaulted into that process because it takes time.

How do I deal with a separation I don’t want?

The best way is to focus on self-love, self-confidence, self-development, self-improvement and self-worth until you stop wanting a marriage that the other party doesn’t want.


QUESTION ⁉️ “My wife wants to file for divorce and I am wondering should just sign the petition to file or just get it over with.

What should I do?”


How To Stop Divorce After Separation