5 KEYS TO REKINDLING ATTRACTION DURING SEPARATION (How To Make Your Husband Want You All The Time)

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In this video, we are adding some context to an answer we gave to Queen some few weeks back.  Be sure to check out that video.  

It’s called “Unwanted Separation? Use THESE 5 Tips!” It was also a response to an original video called “Ignoring Your Spouse During Separation 💔”

Here is her response to that video.

“Thank you Lola and Ola. I am grateful for you guys. You have opened a new perspective to me. I believe I should work on myself now moving forward. The period of sorrow and grief is coming to an end. 

About the question if I am a selfish person, the answer is no. I have always given people my time, love and affection. I’d rather love others first. 

I don’t know how to only focus on me. It’s not healthy. I’d rather give to those who need me. I never put myself first but look for the good of those around me. 

Hence I helped hubby become who he is today. Now that he’s left I don’t understand what I did wrong to be honest. 

We spoke a few days ago and he wanted to know what I have been up to. I don’t know why he suddenly is interested to know about my whereabouts but he will not disclose what he’s doing or how he feels. Which I find strange that he’s obsessed with knowing what I am about. 

I think I need to be more attractive and work on myself more like you mentioned. I will revive my passions and allow time to heal like they say. 

For now I will focus on what makes me happy and keep me focused. I believe he’s still my husband. I am also going to download your free book now.” ~ Queen

So here we go.  To add some context to Queen’s comment, we have created 5 keys to rekindling attraction from a seduction standpoint during a separation.

Let’s get into it.

Key Number 5

The Art of Obsession

The Art of Obsession

As always, this is easier said than done.  But it’s a simple concept.  What makes it complex is the complex human mind.

When you experience rejection at any level,  it breeds obsession and anxiety.  

But when you are able to garner some self-control and back off just a little bit, you can successfully transfer that obsession and anxiety to the other party.

It also depends on how much damage may have occurred during the break down of the relationship.  

If your separated spouse is not the exception minority with no emotional blood flowing in their vein, this works 100% of the time.

So it’s pretty normal for the obsession to flip to the other side when you take time to back off and allow nature to take its course.

If your partner needs space, things are bad already and you probably need more space than you realize.

Key Number 4

Don’t Fake The Flip

So, I want you to allow the obsession and the anxiety to flip from you to your partner naturally and organically.  There are gurus out there teaching people to fake it.

You can’t afford to fake this stuff because that would be a lie and that would typically mean you have to keep lying to cover up lies.  It’s not worth it because it’s too much energy trying to keep up with it.


It needs to be organic and this awareness right here will make it a little hard.  

But the way to mitigate that is to really take this rare advantage of time apart to build yourself in every way you can think of; physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Leave very little room to sit around and allow your mind to wander around about things you can’t control such as sorrow and grief.

If you can do it, that’s obviously time spent away from obsessing over your estranged partner and that much time for them to start wondering about what you are up to.

That’s literally a form of attraction.

It’s organic and natural and proof that you can potentially rekindle attraction in a healthy way so that you can embrace it when you are ready.

Key Number 3

Don’t Run An Empty Cup

Don't Run An Empty Cup

As “Queen” just acknowledged, you can’t afford to pour love into others from an empty cup; it will only drain your energy.  

Yes we advocate for focusing on “giving” in a healthy relationship and not the falsehood of the “give and take” ideology that a bunch of selfish people are running around with on social media.

But please, do not take us out of context.  You simply cannot give what you don’t already have.  

We get this question all the time… You are telling us to just GIVE but what if we are giving so much that the other person is not reciprocating?”

Good question.  

But there is no better way to tell me that you are not giving anything to yourself.  You are emptying out yourself to your partner.

That’s the only way you can have time to notice that they don’t reciprocate but you are not necessarily wrong; just a thought to consider.

And worse, you are setting them up with false metrics of expectations that are based purely on your disappointed emotions. 

You can’t win together like that. You might win alone and effectively destroy the relationship.  But let’s be guided.

When you can demonstrate the ability to take care of yourself, there is almost nothing sexier than that when it comes to rekindling attraction again.

And of course, they naturally can’t wait to get on your good side.

Key Number 2

Be Indifferent

Once you’ve managed to organically flip that obsession and anxiety over to the other side, do not prematurely engage.

Sure it’s attractive but it needs to be tested with time and persistence which must be demonstrated on all sides.

Don’t play games with this if you haven’t gone through an outright rejection from your spouse.  That will make it fake, manipulative and it can backfire badly.

But in the case of what “Queen” described, she needs to disconnect as much as possible from wondering what she did wrong and why he is suddenly obsessed.

The bottom line is that he is obsessed because that’s attraction at play but more importantly, how she responds to it needs to showcase indifference.

What that means is that how you feel is neither here nor there.  You are okay with whatever the outcome is and you will take your time because you are busy learning how to take care of yourself.

It might drive one or both of you wild.


But the attraction needs to be tested for strength because there is a real reason why a separation became reality in the first place.

It doesn’t matter if you are “the man” or “the woman”.  The same attraction principle is applicable if you are feeling the emotions of rejection.

You can re-engage your seduction power and redirect the course.

Key Number 1

Self Love Is Still key

Self Love Is Still key

What if you lost your partner forever?  Yea.  What if?  If you can’t handle that reality in your mind right now, it’s probably showing as needy behavior on the surface.

That’s not sexy.

It’s like no wonder they are running away from that.

The moment they can see that you are capable of loving yourself adequately, they will always regret a decision of not working on your relationship.

That self-love will attract a better companionship to you with or without your spouse; it’s non-negotiable. 

And again, we are not talking to selfish people.  Self-love as a religious talking point and ideology can also destroy you and everything you care about.

We are speaking from experience.  

We share our own story inside the book “GET MY MARRIAGE BACK” which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you’d like us to cover on the next video.

5 Signs Your Marriage is Over (My Wife Has Been GONE for a Few Months)

We love addressing you directly via the comment area.  

So please continue to leave your thoughts and questions for us to review.  We do these videos for you.

In this video, we are responding to 2 comments with the 5 signs that a marriage is over based on how a man responds to a crisis.

Here is the first comment.

“My wife has been gone for a few months. 10 years together and she’s just pulled the plug on all emotions she had for me. She talks and looks at me differently now. She never sees our one year old son. Wtf has happened. God I miss her 😢” ~ by Slaven Yatic

And here is the 2nd comment.

“Truth is she doesn’t. Folks, separation is not a good thing period. 5% of separation works and they end up back together but 80% of separation ends up in a divorce. If your partner wants a separation it means they have someone else in mind.” ~ Comment by Triple A Triple a

So here we go.

Sign Number 5

You Feel Damages Happen Overnight

Believe it or not; most men that go through this type of trauma always feel that the woman just changed overnight.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

Some call it “the walk away wife syndrome.”  It’s basically unhappy wives who leave their husbands… emphasis on “UNHAPPY”.  

There is not one single event that can destroy your marriage.  And if you can’t comprehend that, comprehend this.  

Not realizing that damages never happen overnight is a sign that your marriage is over and potentially forever.  In fact, your marriage ended a long time ago.  

So clearly, it’s even worse that you haven’t been able to pay enough attention to detect this for potentially so long.

She didn’t just pull the plug on emotions she had for you.  Rather, she had been disconnected from you emotionally long before you realized.

Maybe she was trying to protect your feelings and then finally realized that it is a non-sustainable effort.  Many women try this and it always fails eventually.

You Feel Damages Happen Overnight

Sign Number 4

You Use Children to Manipulate

Naturally, a separation from family, wife or husband will create trauma for your children and that’s simply part of life.

But let’s be honest, overreacting to this is obviously an indication that… you have probably overreacted to many other events in the past.

The default is that your children will get dragged through the mud that you and your ex-partner-to-be have created.  It’s just the reality.

And if you have a hard time facing reality, it is little-to-no-wonder that you will attempt to use your children’s trauma to manipulate the direction of things.  Is that what you mean by “She never sees our one year old son?”

That, precisely, is a sign that your marriage is over.  It doesn’t have to be over, if you are willing to indulge in the possibility of a new understanding.

Your focus needs to go into working on the evaporated attraction in your romantic relationship because it is the root cause.  It is your only point of leverage and there are any further chances.

You Use Children to Manipulate

Sign Number 3

You Think Separation is Bad

If you think separation is bad, your marriage is probably over.  Saying that is just another manipulative measure to get a person who doesn’t want you to stay with you.

There is no better way to tell me that you are negotiating “desire”.  It doesn’t work.  In fact, it will work against your marriage.

In addition, pushing against separation is not a way to save your marriage.  If at least one of the parties is asking for separation, that marriage is over anyway.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t build a new foundation from scratch with or without the same person.

As long as you are obsessed with the idea of sustaining the present terrible state of your marriage, how can you build another foundation?

Remember the emphasis on “happy”?  How can you create happiness in a marriage where one person is not happy?

I know what you are thinking.  Everyone is responsible for their own happiness?  You are half-wrong because how we feel is a function of our environment. 

So as long as you are a part of your spouses’ environment, you are a factor.  You are part of the variables that determine her emotional state.

But also vice versa.

Do wives ever come back after separation?  The answer is “YES”.  But how likely is that to happen to you?

Sign Number 2

You Project Stats & Data on Relationships

Your marriage is over if you project improperly interpreted stats and data on your relationship as facts.  Your wife will not come back after separation.

So even if we have to take “Triple A Triple a”’s comment, which is the fact that only 5% of separation works, I guarantee that your personal case will be in the 80% that end up in divorce if you project the “stat” on your relationship.

It’s simple.  In the human experience, what you focus on expands.  That principle is undefeated just like the fact that she wants separation.

Data and stat are mostly useful in a class and scholar activities.  

If you are personally going through a crisis in your relationship, focus on learning what it takes to create attraction in your particular situation.  

You can’t do that trying to smother a person who wants to leave with numbers and stats.

Tip Number 1

You Believe She Has Someone Else in Mind

You Believe She Has Someone Else in Mind

In fact, it’s true that many women are right now trying to figure out how to leave their husbands for a different life all together; not just someone else.

She wants to leave.  The attempt to make yourself feel better by accusing her of having someone else in mind is just another useless effort to save the marriage.

Let’s be honest.  You will only feel worse even if it isn’t true.  Also, you are spreading unnecessary toxic energy.

But again, I know what you are thinking.

What if it’s true that she has someone else?

Let me ask you the same question.  What if?

Is that a good excuse to drag yourself further through the mud?  Is that a reality you can’t deal with without throwing your whole life away?

If the answer is yes, have you considered it… as a good reason to obsessively smother the relationship to death? 

We are speaking from experience.  

We share our own story inside the book “GET MY MARRIAGE BACK” which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you’d like us to cover on the next video.

WILL SMITH – 5 Tips for an Effective Apology (ft. CHRIS ROCK)

“Chris, I apologize to you.  My behavior was unacceptable and I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuSPcgygiNg

So superstar $35 million Hollywood actor Will Smith finally apologized to Chris Rock on the Oscar slap and as to be expected, the whole online community is dragging him again.

On March 27th, 2022 at the 2022 Oscars, Chris Rock cracked a joke around Jada Pinkett-Smith’s bald head comparing her to Demi Moore’s character in the movie G.I. Jane.

Then her husband,Will Smith, laughed and in a split second, walked up to the stage and slapped the shit out of Chris Rock.

We all thought it was a joke.  We all thought it was staged.  We all thought it was acting. But it was real

From the beginning, I have made it clear that there are only 3 things that Will Smith has done wrong publicly and I’m sorry…

It’s not marrying Jada Pinkett-Smith  It is…

1. Supporting the terrible idea of bringing her personal family issues to the red table talk and to the public.

2. Assaulting a fellow man for “disrespect” in front of the public; 17.7 million to be precise according to the New York Post.

3. Overdose on that “woke” lifestyle over-shalaye mansplaining nonsense.

The public is wrong about everything as usual including every attempt to involve Jada Pinkett-Smith in the Oscar slap which clearly did not involve her.

I know you all want to bring in Tupac, her daughter’s 7 years old letter to Tupac, AUG, the Jada vs Will social media banter video… lames… but nah.  That’s weak.

I can’t front.  Involving and blaming her for her husband’s mistakes seems to make videos go super viral.  But over here, we are not going to do that.  That’s weak and toxic.

We will do it the right way by helping me hit that like button, sharing and commenting your personal opinions about this apology below this video.  

As a thanks for doing that, here is a picture of Jada crying.

I have to keep applauding Chris Rock on his conduct throughout the whole ordeal.  

In fact, he addressed it for the first time only a few days earlier on stage saying… “Anyone who says “words hurt” has never been punched in the face”.

Anyway, Will Smith released the apology video on Friday, July 29th, 2022 and I think it’s an opportunity for us to review and extract some lessons around effective apology.

I have extracted 5 tips from the 5 minutes and 44 seconds apology.  So let’s get to it.

Tip Number 5 – Take Your Time

So the slap happened on March 27th, 2022 and the apology came out on July 29th, 2022 which is about 4 months later.  I think that’s more than enough time for proper introspection.

One thing that’s wrong about most apologies is the fact that they are often reflex action designed to push issues under the rug as fast as possible; it’s avoidance at best.

At this point, it’s obvious that Will Smith is not trying to run from his mistake. Kudos for that.

Tip Number 4 – Make it Short & Sweet (If it has to be public.)

If the offense happened publicly, the apology should also be public in addition to a private discussion.  

So I can appreciate this public apology except for the fact that it wasn’t a written statement. Will Smith seems to be overthinking everything and then making it worse subsequently.  

At this point, the public rhetoric is actively trying to tear his marriage apart due to over-exposure.  It’s sad to watch… people would rather listen to and over pedestalize divorcees than those trying to make it work.  It is what it is,

Anyway, anything more than a well crafted PR statement can potentially destroy his private life.  It’s just not necessary and it’s aligning too much with approval and validation seeking behavior.

“Speaking from the heart” for a  large superstar like Will Smith is overrated and not necessary. 

Before you know it, you will be referencing yourself way too much and that can make your apology come off as disingenuous.

So statements such as “disappointing people is my central trauma” is not necessary as it starts to sound like it’s about what he wants.

“It hurts me psychologically and emotionally to know I didn’t live up to people’s image and impression of me.”  This is that  “woke” lifestyle over-shalaye mansplaining nonsense.

Apologizing to these people in the public and everything he said after that are definitely major problems.  

More than enough of these weirdos on the internet are rooting and waiting for the entertainment of Jada and Will divorce. 

In fact, there was a rumor like that and it almost set social media on fire.

Tip Number 3 – Don’t Manipulate for Forgiveness 

“Chris, I apologize to you.  My behavior was unacceptable and I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk.”  

I think that part was clean especially with the addition of… and I quote.

“I want to apologize to Chris’s mother.”

Too many people offer apology only because they are looking for an instant exchange for forgiveness.  That would make it a terrible apology instantly.

Now it’s actually one thing to explicitly and expressly ask for forgiveness in words, but I think it’s worse when your actions reflect it and especially contradicts your words.

So if you say “I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk”, then you need to say less than necessary and let the chips fall where they may.  

Just trust that a few words and time is more than enough for adequate healing. 

Especially as men, we need to know that nothing is guaranteed in life even if you are a good person.

When I hear a lot of men talk about this issue, all I hear is unrealistic expectations of a good woman just for being a good Mr-Nice Guy.

That’s weak.  Life doesn’t always work like that.

So when Will Smith said “This is probably irreparable.” It was perfect.  

Ladies and gentlemen… “no guarantees” attitude puts you at advantage of making the most out of what’s left of your life and simultaneously increasing the chances of an apology being accepted dramatically.

Tip Number 2 – Ensure Reception

While I appreciate Will Smith’s apology to his wife (fuck what everyone else thinks), 

“I made a choice on my own, from my own experiences, from my history with Chris.  Jada had nothing to do with it.  I’m sorry babe.”

I think there was too much stress on apologies to the general public.

The public is not receptive to it.  From all the public rhetoric and opinions I am seeing, it seems divorcing Jada will be more entertaining at this point.  They are hungry for blood.

From my assessment, the public is ready to forgive Will Smith as soon as he forgives himself and gets back to what he does best; and that is not the red table talk.

Ensuring reception of an apology is part of the reason why you should take your time which was the first tip I shared with you in this countdown.

Tip Number 1 – Differentiate Remorse & Shame

Contrary to popular conservative opinion, shame is absolutely destructive; so is self guilt. 

Nothing authentic, wholesome and productive comes from anyone suffering from shame either from self or external force.

He said… and I quote “I am deeply remorseful and I’m typing to be remorseful without being ashamed of myself.” “I’m trying not to think of myself as a piece of shit.”

I can appreciate him truly believing that statement but it’s absolutely not necessary to say that out loud.  Saying it out loud almost defeats the purpose.

So many people confuse remorse with shame. 

Remorse is regret and maybe purposeful guilt while shame is just baseless guilt… maybe based on being overly concerned with optics.  

Misguided shame, insult, guilt, judgment, blame, condemnation are all destructive.  

Ultimately, this is all semantics.  What I am suggesting is to make sure you are not creating a new problem with your solution.  

You can call it whatever you want as long as the apology doesn’t create further negative outcomes for yourself.

“If you hang on, I promise we’ll be able to be friends again.”

Stages of Divorce Grief

What are the Stages of Divorce Grief?

The stages of divorce grief are similar to the stages of grief that occur when someone dies.

The stages are shock and disbelief, pain and sorrow, anger and resentment, bargaining and guilt, and acceptance and hope. The order in which the stages occur may vary from person to person.

Some people may skip some of the stages or move through them more quickly than others.

It is important to allow yourself to grieve the loss of your marriage and not try to rush through the process.

1. Shock and disbelief: This is often the first stage after learning that your divorce is final. You may feel numb, have difficulty processing what has happened, and experience many other emotions, including sadness, anger, fear, and relief.

2. Pain and sorrow: As the reality of your divorce sets in, you will likely experience deep feelings of loss and grief.

You may find yourself crying often, feeling depressed, and struggling to cope with the changes in your life.

3. Anger and resentment: It is common to feel a range of negative emotions during this stage, including anger, bitterness, resentment, and frustration. You may lash out at your former spouse, friends, and family members.

4. Bargaining and guilt: During this stage, you may find yourself trying to negotiate with your former spouse or hoping for a reconciliation. You may also feel guilty about the divorce and blame yourself for the situation.

5. Acceptance and hope: In this final stage, you accept that the divorce is final and begin to move on with your life.

You may still feel sad and miss your former spouse, but you are able to start rebuilding your life. You may also feel hopeful about the future and find new meaning in your life.

Tips on Coping with Separation and Divorce

1. Recognize That Your Marriage Is Over: This can be difficult to accept, but it is an important step in the grieving process. Once you come to terms with the fact that your marriage is over, you can begin to move on.

2. Be Patient — Grief Takes Time: The stages of grief do not always happen in a linear fashion. You may move back and forth between stages or even skip some altogether.

3. Surround Yourself With People Who Support You — And Let Them Help: It can be helpful to talk to friends and family members who have gone through a divorce. They can offer guidance and support.

4. Practice Excellent Self-Care: During this difficult time, it is important to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Make sure to eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly.

5. Feel Your Feelings: It is normal to feel a range of emotions after your divorce. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of your marriage.

6. Find Out What’s There Besides Anger, Sadness, And Fear: As you move through the grieving process, you may find that you have new insights about yourself and your life. Allow yourself to explore these new perspectives.

7. Timebox Your Grief: Set aside specific times each day to grieve the loss of your marriage. This can help you to avoid becoming overwhelmed by your emotions.

8. Don’t Hide Your Divorce Grief From Your Kids (But Don’t Freak Them Out, Either)

It is important, to be honest with your children about your divorce. However, you should avoid sharing too much information or putting them in the middle of the situation.

9. Write It Out, Work It Out, Or Just plain Talk It Out: Journaling, therapy, and talking to friends and family members can all be helpful ways to cope with your divorce.

10. Stop Blaming Your Ex and Start Forgiving Them (and Yourself) One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to let go of any resentment and blame you may feel. This can be difficult, but it is an essential part of healing.

11. Remember: You Will Still Be a Part of Your Kid’s Life Even After Divorce Although your family may be changing, you will still be an important part of your children’s lives. Try to maintain a positive relationship with your former spouse for the sake of your kids.

12. Consider Professional Help Many people find it helpful to seek out professional help during the divorce process. A therapist can provide support and guidance as you navigate this difficult time.

If you are facing divorce, it is important to understand the grieving process. By recognizing the stages of grief, you can better prepare yourself for the journey ahead.

Remember, every divorce is unique and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. If you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to seek out professional help. With time and patience, you will eventually reach the acceptance and hope stage.

Don’t Suppress Your Feelings While Grieving

Everyone is different and everyone can experience each one of these stages very differently. Allowing yourself the freedom to grieve during a divorce doesn’t make you weak.  In fact, it can actually make you stronger. If you try to bottle up your emotions, they may eventually come out in destructive ways. It’s okay to cry, be angry, and feel sad. These are all normal reactions to loss.

Divorce is a process, not an event. Just as there is no one right way to grieve the death of a loved one, there is no one right way to grieve the loss of a marriage. Allow yourself the time and space to experience all the emotions that come with this major life change. Seek out support from friends and family members, or consider professional help if you need it. With time and patience, you will eventually reach the acceptance and hope stage.

Coping With the Hard Feelings

Coping with grief during a divorce is exceedingly difficult. Feeling all the emotions mentioned in each stage during the process of divorce is common and necessary for moving forward. It is important to surround yourself with people that love you and support you to help you through this painful time. If you are feeling lost, consider professional counseling to help you regain a sense of self and hope for the future.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How To Fix A Broken Relationship ~ 19 Things You Must Know

In this article, we will discuss how to fix a broken relationship even if it’s within a marriage.

May be you feel like all hope is lost… relax…. read this first.

Why Do Relationships Break Or Fail?

There are many reasons why relationships fall apart.

  • It could be that you and your partner have grown apart over time and now have different interests, goals, and values.
  • It could be that you’re unable to resolve conflict in a healthy way, or that one or both of you tend to withdraw or shut down when things get tough.
  • It could be that you have different ideas about how to handle finances, child-rearing, or other important life decisions.

Whatever the reason is, if you find yourself in a failing or broken relationship, it’s important to be intentional with your actions or lack there of.

Otherwise, the situation is likely to only get worse.

The simple truth is that we are humans.

We’re complicated.

And relationships between complicated humans are even MORE complicated.

#1. Trust Has Left The Building

The cement of your relationship is Trust. without it, your relationship will fail.

Trust issues are very common.

Trust issues usually start in our childhood.

We learn them in our families.

And then we bring them into our relationships.

When we stop trusting ourselves, we stopped trusting others.

And when we stop trusting others, we stop trusting ourselves.

Trust is a two-way street.

Some of the bad things that happen when you lose trust are:

  1. Infidelity
  2. Jealousy
  3. Anxious behavior
  4. Smothering
  5. Insecurities

And a whole lot more.

The first thing you need to do is to figure out whether your trust issues are because your partner is not trust-able

…OR these are anxiety and insecurity issues inside of you.

Then you have to work on getting reconnected to your partner.

I’ll tell you more about how to do that in a bit.

#2. Your Communication Sucks

This is another one of those very common reasons relationships start to fall apart.

If you’re not communicating well, then you’re not going to be able to meet each other’s needs.

You’re always going to have misunderstandings and a deep breakdown of connection.

Communication is one of the most important factors in a relationship because it’s how you navigate with your partner

If your communication isn’t in sync and compatible, you will definitely have problems.

And eventually, you will turn to a therapist or counselor to help you with them.

But chances are it will be too late.

Make sure you’re always working on your communication.

Not just with your romantic partner, but with everyone in your life.

#3. You are on different maps/timetables

Sometimes it just happens that we are on different time schedules, or in different places in our life.

The timing is just wrong.

It can be hard to see this when you want a relationship to work.

But sometimes the situation is out of your control and you just need to walk away.

And sometimes you meet in the same place but you’re going at different speeds.

So you fall out of step with each other.

He might be going slower, and you might be moving faster towards your relationship goals.

You have to decide for yourself if you’re willing and patient enough to go at your partner’s speed.

Sometimes this means you have different priorities at the moment.

You may want to start a family, but he wants to start a business.

This will be something you must navigate and negotiate along the way if you want it to work.

#4. You’re just not a match

Very frequently, I see couples that get together and start a relationship.

But they didn’t ever stop to really make sure the other person was right for them.

One or both of them was just desperate to get into a relationship as fast as they could.

So they threw their needs out the window and ignored how wrong this person was for them.

They might have been seeking relief from anxiety, or from loneliness. But for whatever reason, they didn’t choose well.

If each person in a relationship is completely healthy, then they could probably start a relationship with almost anybody.

But compatibility is a huge issue if you are not in a whole and healthy place with your own self-esteem and self-worth.

One of the biggest love myths out there is that love conquers everything.

The good news is, that there are relationship advice that you can execute to repair the damage.

fixing a broken relationship

#1. Talk about what’s going on

The first step is to talk about what’s wrong.

You need to express your feelings and needs in a way that is respectful and non-blaming.

If you can’t do that, I recommends seeing a therapist or counselor who can help you learn how to communicate effectively.

#2. Make time for each other

One of the biggest reasons relationships fail is because couples don’t make time for each other.

Life gets busy and before you know it, you’re living parallel lives under the same roof.

You need to make time for each other—time to talk, time to connect.

#3. Be willing to compromise

In any relationship, there are going to be times when you have to compromise.

You might not always get your way, but that’s OK.

The important thing is that you’re both willing to give a little.

#4. Learn to forgive

If you want your relationship to thrive, you need to learn to forgive.

We all make mistakes—we’re only human.

The key is to not hold onto the anger and resentment.

If you can learn to let go, it will do wonders for your relationship.

#5. Don’t take each other for granted

One of the easiest ways to kill a relationship is to take your partner for granted.

We all need to feel valued and appreciated.

If you stop doing the things that made your partner fall in love with you in the first place, don’t be surprised if they start to look elsewhere.

#6. Keep the romance alive

Another common mistake couples make is letting the romance die.

It’s important to keep the spark alive.

Do the things you used to do when you were first dating—go on dates, have fun together, show each other how much you care.

#7. Work as a team

In any relationship, it’s important to remember that you’re on the same team.

You’re in this together, so you need to work together to make it work.

That means being supportive, understanding, and helpful—even when you don’t feel like it.

#8. Don’t try to change each other

One of the biggest mistakes couples make is trying to change each other all in the name of duty and responsibility forgetting that it is a romantic relationship at the end of the day.

You need to accept each other—flaws and all.

If you can learn to love and accept each other just as you are, it will do wonders for your relationship.

#9. Communicate, communicate, communicate

If there’s one piece of advice that experts agree on, it’s that communication is key to a successful relationship… to put more accurately… EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION.

You need to be able to talk to each other—about everything.

The more you communicate, the closer you’ll become .

#10. Develop Listening Skills

It is impossible to avoid arguments in any relationship. 

And in those moments, it is equally impossible to prevent different perspectives of understanding right and wrong and ways of solving problems. 

In such circumstances, there is no limit on what is required to be said and heard by both parties, which is necessary.

Because sometimes, or most of the time, the conversation becomes so fierce that the very limit of speaking is violated.

Due to a lack of listening ability, you take some such steps in anger which directly damages the relationship. 

#11. Accepting the Circumstances and Your Partner

Circumstances can never be right and wrong in relationships.

Didn’t you see people coming together in bad times?

Haven’t you noticed people make or break in bad times? 

If you look at history, you will find hundreds of examples where people came together in worse conditions, whether WWI or WWII.

Whether it’s raising a voice against racism or sexism.

People always came together to face the storm and grow out of them. 

It is all up to our belief whether we can adapt to the circumstances or not. 

We should always learn from bad times and always make good use of good times.

That’s the key to getting along with your partner.

#12. The Initiative Is Crucial to Overcome Relationship Struggles

Whether your relationship is on the verge of breaking or you are going through many troubles, if you want to stay with your partner and feel that everything will be right after a while, then the initiative you take to repair your relationship is always proven effective. 

After a big fight, if you take the initiative and make your partner feel that they are more important than your needs, then believe that your initiative is commendable enough to strengthen your relationship.

The initiative will always be needed to keep the relationship successful and constantly fresh; a good initiative always brings closeness.

#13. Apologize To Restore the Relationship

One of the hallmarks of a bad relationship is that both sides see apologizing as their weakness, due to which they feel hesitant to apologize even if they want.

According to the study, ‘The Psychology of offering an Apology by Karina Schumann it’s proposed that the reasons why people hesitate to offer an apology or high-quality apologies are,

  1. Low concern for the victim or relationship,
  2. The perceived threat to self-image,
  3. And perceived apology ineffectiveness.

But, if you want to fix your relationship, you must rise above these barriers.

Because if you don’t, what you do is end the 1% scope of repairing a broken relationship. 

To cherish any relationship, it is as essential to apologize as to give forgiveness; it is precisely the same as washing and drying cloth.

Here, both water and sunlight make the cloth wearable.

Similarly, both apologizing and offering forgiveness make the relationship believable.

But be sure to be clear on why you are apologizing and ensure you’ve taken enough time to assess what went wrong; be intentional.

#14. Understand Your Moral, Social, and Personal Circle

Even though your relationship is going through a bad phase – facing trust issues, anxiety, separation, etc., if you are fulfilling your moral responsibility towards your partner, you are trying to take your relationship in the right direction. 

Here you have a sense of moral obligation and personal or social commitments. 

You know how to fulfill all these responsibilities well, then understand that you have almost saved your relationship from being ruined. 

Because responsibilities always give strength, courage, and the ability to understand right and wrong.

And if you have all this in you, you will not let anything go wrong.

#15. Be Sure to Give Opportunities to Build Trust to Improve the Relationship

Trust issues in a relationship can never blossom a tree of love.

Therefore, in a broken relationship, it is necessary to create such opportunities to build trust between both parties, which can instill a sense of confidence in both parties towards each other. 

And it’s not that it takes a lot of effort to build trust, it’s just small things that ensure that you have unwavering faith in your partner. 

For example, if you have life insurance and your partner is a nominee in it, or they are your partner in any of your big projects, or you take your partner’s advice for small household needs.

Now it comes to how do you determine the opportunities to build trust?

Well to build trust you need combined forces of different human fundamental aspects.

You cannot build trust all alone.

And the aspects are, 

  1. Transparency.
  2. Respect and…
  3. Loyalty.

Without these, it’s impossible to trust or build it in any given situation.

Let’s discuss each in detail. 

#16. Loyalty Is Essential to Keep Yourself Away From a Damaged Relationship

You have to be loyal to your partner to mend a deteriorating relationship because you must understand that hurting feelings will prove fatal for any relationship.

If you are lying to your partner or have a relationship with someone else, then understand that you are not paying attention to your partner’s needs

You don’t care if your infidelity can lead to your partner getting depressed and how bad the outcome will be.

If you are not loyal to your partner, then understand that you do not respect your relationship at all.

And where there is no respect, there’s no love.

And where there’s no love, there’s no relationship.

It has been destroyed.

Also, if you’re not loyal, you cannot expect your partner to be loyal.

Once you cross your line, they might probably cross as well. 

And thus, you’ve both entered the phase of a broken relationship.

#17. Controlling and Managing Your Expectations

If the ambition and expectations start exceeding the limit in any relationship, whether the relationship of friendship, husband-wife, or business, then understand that the seeds of condemnation, neglect, and hatred have been planted in that relationship. 

It is essential to regulate and control the expectations to live in harmony because the human mind always craves to get something new and thrilled.

And this craving starts to take away that person from his/her loved ones. 

The person begins to remain irritable… resentment

He starts to force his people to satisfy his craving which further gives birth to instability in the relationship. 

When his expectations don’t get fulfilled, he starts to blame his people.

Both the parties in the relationship should set their expectations according to their partner’s economic, social, and family situation.

This situation can be better controlled by mutual coordination.

#18. Do Not Take Any Wrong Decisions Under Stress or Anger

When the relationship starts deteriorating, it is natural for the person associated with that relationship to go into depression.

But can that person improve his relationship by making some wrong decisions due to depression? 

You should answer this.

What’s your mind saying?

What’s your first reaction? 

I believe it’s NO.

By taking a bad decision, you are harming yourself and the people you love.

Instead of fixing your relationship with one wrong decision, you are on the contrary worsening it even more. 

In a deteriorating relationship, the person makes some bad decisions, such as drinking or getting intoxicated, abusing the partner, harming them, trying to hurt himself, not showing respect to the people in the relationship, adopting bad habits, etc. 

Due to even more wrong decisions, a person tends to end the relationship forever.

And from there, it becomes tough to improve the relationship. 

Therefore, make every noble effort to fix your relationship with thoughtfulness so that your relationship becomes stronger… be intentional.

#19. Seek professional help

If you’ve tried everything and nothing seems to be working, it may be time to seek professional help.

A professional can help you learn how to communicate effectively, resolve conflict, and deal with other issues that may be affecting your relationship.

While it’s not always easy, repairing the damage in a relationship is possible—if you’re willing to put in the work.

With patience, understanding, and a little effort, you and your partner can get back on track and build a stronger, more intimate connection.

What makes a healthy relationship?

how to fix a broken relationship

Every relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons.

Part of what defines a healthy relationship is sharing a common goal for exactly what you want the relationship to be and where you want it to go.

And that’s something you’ll only know by talking deeply and honestly with your partner.

However, there are also some characteristics that most healthy relationships have in common.

Knowing these basic principles can help keep your relationship meaningful, fulfilling, and exciting whatever goals you’re working towards or challenges you’re facing together.

A. You maintain a meaningful emotional connection with each other. 

You each make the other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled.

There’s a difference between being loved and feeling loved.

When you feel loved, it makes you feel accepted and valued by your partner, like someone truly gets you.

Some relationships get stuck in peaceful coexistence, but without the partners truly relating to each other emotionally.

While the union may seem stable on the surface, a lack of ongoing involvement and emotional connection serves only to add distance between two people.

B. You’re not afraid of (respectful) disagreement.

Some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree.

The key to a strong relationship, though, is not to be fearful of conflict.

You need to feel safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation, or insisting on being right.

C. You keep outside relationships and interests alive.

Despite the claims of romantic fiction or movies, no one person can meet all of your needs.

In fact, expecting too much from your partner can put unhealthy pressure on a relationship.

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To stimulate and enrich your romantic relationship, it’s important to sustain your own identity outside of the relationship, preserve connections with family and friends, and maintain your hobbies and interests.

D. You communicate openly and honestly.

Good and effective communication is a key part of any relationship.

When both people know what they want from the relationship and feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires,

…it can increase trust and strengthen the bond between you.

In Conclusion…

Good, healthy relationships will sometimes be challenging.

But it’s all worth it.

You and your partner put yourselves through the challenge for the good things that come from a relationship.

Remember that this is always the case, even during the best phases of a relationship.

The challenge is further amplified during or after a separation.

Our faulty ideas of love, alone, won’t keep a relationship functioning.

It needs care and attention to allow both partners to grow and develop throughout its course.

A relationship can’t stay like it is during the first stages, skillful partnership will be required to make things work.

A healthy relationship will only happen if both people are prepared to work at the outcome, making sure all of the key elements work.

The most difficult challenges can be overcome with two people working together, for the mutual good.

If you have been going through difficult times, it can be hard to get a perspective on things.

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It’s possible to do this with logical, sensible thinking.

Remember that the person you love has not disappeared, no matter what the circumstances.

You must reconnect with that person, allowing them to reconnect to you, in order to build or rebuild a solid, healthy relationship.

What causes a relationship to be broken?

The main reasons why relationships fail are loss of trust, poor communication, lack of respect, a difference in priorities, and little intimacy.

What are signs your relationship is over?

A common trajectory for the end of a relationship is the slow tapering-off; a protracted period of tell-tale signs and wilful denial, as motivation to patch things up dwindles in one or both partners. A sudden, sharp break can feel more shocking, but it’s also clearer.

What is a toxic relationship?

A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked. On a basic level, any relationship that makes you feel worse rather than better can become toxic over time.