Unwanted Separation? Use THESE 5 Tips! (re: Ignoring Your Spouse During Separation 💔)

Unwanted Separation? Use THESE 5 Tips! So we received a comment on one of the best videos we’ve ever done called “Ignoring Your Spouse During Separation” from one of our 1,125 extremely valuable subscribers on YouTube; Queen.

Make sure you search and check out that video once  you finish watching this video.

She says… And I quote

“Going thru separation. I love and miss my husband. He asked to be alone for a year. What do I do while we are living apart?”

Queen. I’m sorry you are going through this.  Separation is not easy on anyone.  As devastating as it sounds, it sometimes can yield positive outcomes. 

In fact, we are going to share 5 tips with you on how to dramatically increase the chance of making this season productive for you especially in spite of what it may feel like right now.

Tip Number 5

Identify Why

The marriage institution is exactly that; an institution.  And all disrespect of the institution will lead to a terrible outcome which is a legal or spiritual evaporation of the marriage.

One of such disrespects happens when people get into marriages that lack explicitly identified purpose.  It’s also synonymous with a marriage with no clear vision from the leader.

So if there is no leader, even if it’s temporarily, there is no vision and things fall apart.

At this point, Queen… you have to be realistic and identify your own life mission and purpose.  

It’s going to be instrumental in attracting your husband back to you if he belongs there in the first place.

Major focus has to be directed to building yourself up because it’s about being worthy of attracting what you desire; even if that’s your marriage and/or your husband.

Whatever you engage henceforth should either be your passion or some type of stepping stone towards your passion.

Identify Why

Tip Number 4

Forgive Yourself

There is a tricky fine line between holding yourself accountable and not forgiving yourself.  Everything in life is a double edged sword that can cut both ways.

Holding yourself accountable when your marriage seems to be failing is no different.  You want to make sure that you’ve forgiven yourself for at least being what you may be perceiving as failure.

After all, failure is the stepping stone towards all forms of success. 

Guilt, blame, condemnation and judgement will work against you because they will consume 10 times the  energy you could use to improve yourself in order to attract love and your desires again. 

Tip Number 3 

Let Him Go

He wants time off, let him go.   The truth is that negotiating desire is always a terrible strategy because it leads back into this vicious cycle of resenting yourself.

If your husband has asked to be alone for a year, the reality is that he doesn’t want to be alone because he is human; a social being like the rest of us.  He just doesn’t want to be with you again.

At least subconsciously, you also know this to be true so you naturally fight to hold on to your husband evidently by begging, calling obsessively, manipulation and other strategies that only repel and not attract love.

So the fear becomes, “what if I let go and then he gets with someone else”?

Okay.  What if he does?  I ask you.  Can you survive that reality?  If you can’t survive that reality, where is the sexy self-confidence and self-esteem that attracted him in the first place? 

It’s little to no wonder why he doesn’t want to be with you.

Here is another reality. That’s just how he felt the moment it was said.  It’s not necessarily how he is going to feel once he smells that you don’t need him ever again.  

To want him and to need him are two different things.  No one wants to be with a needy person.

So the first step is to let him go in order to let your magic… maybe God…. do its thing.  

There is more.

Let Him Go

Tip Number 2

Build Self Love

We’ve seen a lot of people running around social media and different types of conversations talking about “self love”.

Let’s be honest.  Some people are too selfish and should not be talking about self love if they don’t want to self-sabotage when it comes to attracting authentic love over time.

But in your case Queen, rejection breeds obsession.  So you are probably pouring from an empty cup and not taking care of yourself enough.  That’s not attractive nor is it sustainable.

In this season for you, the work is in taking care of and loving up on yourself.  

I understand it’s hard when you experience rejection especially when it involves a potential break up of your family.

But remember that everything goes back to attraction and desire which you should never negotiate.  People, including your husband, really have no choice but to mimic the level of self love that you have for yourself.

At the minimum, people will mimic your level of self-respect.  Focus on doing things you love and for yourself during this period and don’t have ultimatums on doing that.

Make it a lifestyle.

I have a question for you.  Are you naturally a selfish person?

Use the comment area below to share your answer with us.

There is a chance that you are already not a selfish person.  So it’s time to pivot and it’s your best chance of attracting love with or without your husband.

I know you are probably so obsessed that you don’t want to hear about love outside of your husband.  But think about this deeply.  Love is love and it really wouldn’t matter when you are in-love.

It also doesn’t matter because loving yourself will make you more attractive and therefore increase your chances of attracting anyone to desire you; hopefully your husband.

And last but not least.

Tip Number 1

Look Out For Clarity

Okay.  I don’t want you to set yourself up because honestly that marriage is gone.  Because even if your husband comes back to you, you will have to build a new foundation.

When we say look out for clarity, we need you to do that from a space of selfishness and what is good for your own life and the rest of your life.

I don’t want you to sit around and start expecting your husband to suddenly decide to come back to his senses.  Nothing in life is guaranteed.

Look Out For Clarity

If he comes back, good for him… and for you I hope.

With these tips, you will definitely influence him if he is human like the rest of us because he will wonder and become unsure of where you stand. 

That will effectively drive his attraction towards you in an upwards direction.

But you can’t control what other people do.  You can only control how you respond to life and consequently control what you attract.

Things will start to align when you let go and genuinely become capable of enjoying every moment of your life without needing him.

We are speaking from experience.  We share our own story inside the book “GET MY MARRIAGE BACK” which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you’d like us to cover on the next video. 

5 Tips of Dealing with in-Law Issues… Marsau & LaTisha Scott | Love & Marriage: Huntsville

Why is Marsau attracting disrespect from his in-laws? 

We may be speaking from our traditional perspective here but nope… We’ve spent most of our lives in the west.


So we have some context.. at least some.


I do think that there is a lot of disrespect coming to Marsau from Latisha’s family.  But dare I say it… he deserves it because he is attracting it.


Maybe “deserve” is a little too harsh… maybe it’s not relevant since for the most part, we don’t know what we don’t know when it comes to marriage.


What are we talking about here?


We are talking about one of our favorite shows to watch together on OWN TV; Love and Marriage: Huntsville.  


It’s a show in its fourth season which showcases the married life of 3 or 4 couples… one of which is Marsau and Latisha.

Marsau & LaTisha Scott

They’ve been married for years so they ‘kinda’ know a lot when it comes to this marriage thing.  


But it almost seems… 


THAT very factor is creating a blind spot for Marsau.


In-Law issues are the necessary evil that we all have to deal with as married people.


And the fact is that Marsau talks too much when it comes to his in-laws… starting with Latisha’s mother.


When I talk about “game”, people always assume that we are talking about dating or pick-up artistry only.  


The truth is that married men need even more game.


The higher you climb in any form of hierarchy, the more of a shit test target you become.


Marsau’s in-laws represent the first phase of Latisha’s life… development years for that matter… which means there are all types of sentimental values that he will never be fully aware of.


Alright.  With that being said, let’s go ahead and share 5 tips for dealing with in-laws in a way that doesn’t tamper with your marriage.


Tip Number 5

Don’t Save Her… She “don’t” wanna be saved…


The limitations of this, of course, is a physical threat to your wife.  But you don’t have the capacity to proactively save her emotionally from her own family; her source.


The safest way to remotely get close to saving her in a way that puts you at an advantage as her husband is to be that shoulder to cry on


…or a safe haven she can always trust to run to when she occasionally gets burnt over there.


I don’t remember if Marsau attempted to save Tisha from her cousin while beefing about her trip with Tisha’s friend which she was kept out of.


That right there is a prime example allowing her to go through that on her own.


Tip Number 4

Don’t feed into it.


Many at times, it’s going to feel like one or a few of your in-laws come with overbearing energy. 


If it’s a physical attack, call the police. That should never be tolerated.  


It’s usually not a physical attack. As for emotional or verbal attacks directed at you, don’t feed into it. Why?


Because your wife’s feelings matter to you.  


So at the end of the day, you need to just remove yourself temporarily because that’s what’s going to create the best result for you in the long run.


Maybe in the short term it feels unfair.  But marriage is never supposed to be a competition… remember.


Remove yourself physically and temporarily if you ever feel the need to feed into negativity; it’s not worth it.


Marsau finds himself feeding into Ms. Wanda’s negativity all the  time. I know… “A man is supposed to check misbehavior as they come, right? No matter who it’s coming from.”


Wrong!  That’s a short sighted way of looking at things.  Some battles are just not worth the expense.


I also know that he puts on that face CAP like it’s all banter.  But we can see through the bullshit.


Tip Number 3

Don’t compete with them

Don't compete with them

It’s going to happen… sometimes from a very subconscious place.  You will feel like you’re competing with your in-laws for your wife’s attention.


It should never be a competition but I understand you are human like the rest of us.


She already chose you as the husband for a reason so it’s best to just maintain self-respect and esteem and remain the king that you are in your own household. 


Anything else is validation and approval seeking behavior.


This awareness we just hopefully created will go a long way for you in protecting your position and your family.


At this point, you are probably hearing me tell you to kill them with kindness.  I didn’t say that.  


All I am asking you to do is to maintain your desired position with a long sighted view; be it a leader or a follower.


Tip Number 2

Don’t mix in-laws with business.


In one of the episodes, we watched Tisha and Marsau evaluate a food truck business venture with Ms.Wanda.  


Per Tisha’s request, they were to invest in that business starting with buying and fixing this old dilapidated food truck sitting in the middle of nowhere.


This is a tricky one… and there is no absolute advice here… just a little guide.


Ideally, this type of investment should be avoided if possible.  


It’s better to give Ms.Wanda, your in-law, whatever you want and can afford to give her as a gift so that you don’t become attached or invested in the outcome of the business venture.


It was obvious that Tisha really wanted to do this with her mother.  If that’s the case, Marsau is better off giving Tisha the gift and detaching himself from the outcome for his own peace of mind.


Question of the day: Share in the comment area in one word… What do you think attachment to outcomes turns into when it comes to marriage and relationships?


Tip #1

Listen… Don’t judge

Listen... Don't judge

So let’s say Marsau follows this advice  and gives Tisha the gift to invest with her mother.


From experience and analyzing a lot of cases, we know that “I told you so” moments are inevitable in the future.


As you probably already guessed, that wouldn’t be a moment for Marsau to say “I told you so.”


Many times, your wife will come to you and report on how her family member offended her. Don’t insert yourself and start judging them. 


Just listen. Just be understanding. It’s okay to be fascinated. 


“Wow..”  “That’s crazy.”, “Interesting..” “O ga o”.


It’s okay to be interested without judging. 


If you’re judging her family, she may feel good about it right now. 


Later on or if you are consistent enough with that behavior, she may start to feel some kind of way about it because that’s her family. 


You’re going to become the enemy. 


We are speaking from experience.  In fact, we share our own story inside the book “GET MY MARRIAGE BACK” which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com


Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and sharing with us below in the comment area what you’d like us to cover in the next video.

JOKE SILVA: The Standard of the Woman To Marry ~ Olu Jacobs. (5 Tips)

the standard wife


Wow… isn’t she lovely…. Ms Joke Silva.  A.k.A Mrs Joke Olu-Jacobs, the wife of veteran Nigerian actor who starred in several British television series and international films….

And whose 80th birthday was celebrated by friends and lovers around the world from Lagos Nigeria on Sunday July 10th, 2023.

If you are looking for a wife or looking to maintain a blissful marriage long term with your wife, I have extracted 5 simple but massive tips for you to apply to your own life.

The first tip is to marry a woman whose name is Joke.  

Okay… That was a joke… no pun intended. My beautiful wife’s middle name is also Joke.  But the chances of you finding a Joke is slimmed to almost none.

I do have another 5 tips for you.


“‘Wow! This is the standard of the woman I’m going to marry.” 

Avoid attachments to ideology
Avoid attachments to ideology

That was what Olu Jacobs told his wife of some 37+ years when he first laid eyes on this beautiful young woman who was in her early 20’s at the time.

Listen.  We don’t know them personally… but never mind all that… This is “couple goals”.  

At least, we can see a real life example of what marriage was designed to do even in the entertainment industry which is notorious for random divorces. 

Did you see my last video on Funke Akindele and JJC Akindele… Gentlemen… we have to step our game up.  These women belong to you if you can get your sh*t together.

Don’t you get tired of the horrible divorce, paternity fraud, and etc stories?

Anyway, if you are struggling in dating, relationships, marriage, parenting, career etc… Consider sending me a text message with the word “HELP” to +1 (732) 517-7532 and I will see what I can do.

Let’s countdown the 5 tips from Mr Olu Jacobs and Ms Joke Silva.

Tip #5 – Avoid attachments to ideology

A lot of young men these days, in response to the decline to the pride that comes with the nuclear family, are now subscribing to archaic ideologies as a quick solution.

In fact, it’s a major talking point that one of the signs of unruly women is when they choose to keep their maiden name as opposed to changing to their husband’s family name as the new last or surname.

While I recognize the pride attached to the culture of women changing names once they get married, there is something to say to a man who is secure in himself enough to say these words and managed to keep his home together for 37+ years.

Make finances the least of your problems when it comes to marriage

And I’m quote…

“She is her individual. 

When I met her, she was an actress known as Joke Silva, so why should marrying me deny her audience her name. 

She is Miss Joke Silva, who is Mrs Joke Jacobs. 

It is as simple as that. 

People now begin to say all sorts. They have even written that we are separated and all sorts of stuff. 

When she is working, she is Joke Silva, but she is Mrs Joke Jacobs at home,”

That was Olu Jacobs speaking to rumors in the past.  Tabloids used to be entertainment for women.  

But sadly in this modern era, men would join and shame this man who actually is an example of their secret desired results.

They shame him because he chose not to have an unhealthy attachment to the ideology of his wife changing her brand name after getting married as far back as 37+ years ago in the still “traditional non-westernized” Nigeria.

You’ve sworn you know everything about the traditional Africans right?

Sure you should stand for something so you don’t fall just for anything.  But as a man, you must know how to identify and create valid exceptions in life.  If you don’t, you will suffer from your own ignorance.

Tip #4 – Make finances the least of your problems when it comes to marriage

In a few Instagram posts on July 10th, 2023, you can see Ms. Joke Silva fitting her husband, visually appearing to be in his old age but also sick with a condition called Dementia with Lewy bodies.

Dementia with Lewy bodies (DLB) is a type of progressive dementia that leads to a decline in thinking, reasoning and independent function.

Many young man today are stupidly concerned about how much weight a lady gains after having the first baby when that’s fundamentally an attraction issue that should have been ironed out earlier.  

Others worried about superficial nonsense like if she makes more money or not… fundamentally an insecurity issue on the part of the man.

In reality, these are the least of your issues when you are doing life with a person you love and are in-love with.  Inevitably, crises will fall on you and whoever you are spending time with in life.

If you are an immature person, the easiest thing for you to do is to blame it on the closest person or things like finances, infidelity, in-laws…. but the reality is that there are deeper issues…

And Ultimately… you do not know tomorrow… but yet acting like God.

Focus on finding a wife… a good thing… someone you can see yourself with when you are sick and 90 years olds… flat boobs, wrinkle… and all…. provided you feel a physical attraction to them today.

Anxiety about tomorrow and yesterday will destroy and rob you of your chances of achieving true joy.

Clearly… Olu Jacobs is reaping what he sowed over the last 37 years and most likely beyond.

Tip #3 – Leverage your work and reputation to do the bragging for you.

When Aunty Joke first met Uncle Olu at a rehearsal around 1981, she had heard a lot of good things about him… “a man coming from England to play the lead role.”

The anticipation and excitement about a person she had never met… she looked forward to meeting him.

In this time and age, there are many men of all ages sadly roaming around social media creating reputations of polar opposite.  

Many ladies are pinged into online and social media spaces to hear how some men have chosen to address women in disrespectful, generalized and rude manners.

That’s also a form of reputation right?

Well, Law 5 of the 48 laws of power by Robert Greene says “So Much Depends on Reputation — Guard It with Your Life.”

Question of the day: Do you think Mr Olu Jacobs’ reputation that worked ahead of him made it easier for him to woo a fine lady like Ms Joke Silva or it didn’t matter what type of reputation it was?

Answer me in the comment area below. 

Tip #2 – Forgive yourself and move forward.

When they first met, here was his first statement and I quote… 

Forgive yourself and move forward.

“Wow! This is the standard of the woman I’m going to marry.”

Ms Joke Silva thought it was a rubbish pick up line.  But she said, he continued to demonstrate being a “wonderful” person during the rehearsals. 

She thought he realized… and I quote… “He had made a faux pas and tried to get in my good graces after that. And we became excellent friends.”

I would argue that he confidently forgave himself as fast as humanly possible if at all necessary and moved on to demonstrate self-respect, self-validation, high self-esteem which in turn made her feel safe and secure around him.

Does a typical woman feel safe and secure around you after running your mouth online?  I am not talking about the women advocating for men’s rights online.

Are you attracting the S.I.G.N language from the typical woman and having a hard time holding yourself accountable?

Shame, Insults, Guilt, Need to be right… Nagging.  Or maybe… you are the first to beat the ladies to the S.I.G.N language… “these 304s ain’t sh*t!”

What I observe these days are a bunch of young men who need external validation in order to remain in their masculine frame; an oxy-freaking-moron.  

They need the modern woman to be checked and roasted constantly; needy behavior.

Tip #1 – Leverage her feminine energy

The feminine energy is there ready to receive, multiply and reciprocate back to you.  It’s like the ocean with a massive chaotic-like trend.  If you attempt to swim against it, you will drown yourself.

That’s a whole series of processes, it takes time and that whole phenomenon and the respect that comes with it will be earned; no exceptions.  Yes! The beautiful feminine energy is conditional.

The conditions and passing the non-intentional and endless shit tests from women overall is what makes you a man.  

If you have problems with this reality, you will attempt to “fake-masculine” and demand respect and you will fall flat on your face all bruised up 100% of the time.

Feel free to try and prove me wrong.

In no way, shape or form am I asking you to engage an unruly or disrespectful woman and attempt saving her, you will fail.  

But I will continue to hold you accountable for engaging unruly or disrespectful community of women and attempting to save them.

It’s a YOU problem.  Stop the cap and Fix YOU!

The Insecure Man (ft. Funke Akindele & JJC Skillz)

News broke out that JJC Skillz and his superstar wife Funke Akindele are now separated.

Who is Funke Akindele?

With tons of awards, she is arguably one of the biggest actresses out of Nigeria’s movie industry which is the biggest by volume in the world and number two with respect to everything else.

She is featured in tons of movies on Netflix.  Just search her name.  She is also popularly known as Jenifa which is one of her most popular series and a movie version which if I’m not mistaking, she directed.

According to wikipedia, she got married to a British-Nigerian rapper popularly known as JJC Skillz. 

In December 2018, they welcomed twin boys as a couple.

house funke akindele jjc skillz

On June 30, 2022, JJC Skillz announces that they are parting way in a post I saw on an Instagram profile; instablog9JA

I want to share some wisdom with you with regards to this from a man who has been married for well over a decade.

But first… here is the announcement I saw…

And I quote!

“Dear Friends and family I need to let you know that Funke and I have separated. While it lasted we shared a lot of things together and have created 2 beautiful children. 

The last two years have been extremely difficult for us. I know I have tried my best to fix things but I believe it is beyond repair now. 

3 months ago and at Funkes insistence I moved out of the house and apart from AMVCA have not been able to get Funke to sit down in an amicable manner to discuss the future of our relationship. 

I’m making this announcement so that the public is clear that we both are pursuing separate lives. 

We still have issues that need to be addressed such as the custody and wellbeing of our children which is paramount as well as business interests which need to be disentangled but I have no doubt that these will be resolved one way or the other

Mr Abdul Bello”

The speculation from sources close to their camp is that Funke is proud… as in arrogant for those who do not understand Nigerian English.

According to an Abimbola on Clubhouse who claimed to know Funke, he said… “though JJC Skillz is not perfect, Funke is not an easy woman to deal with.”

A few months ago, JJC Skillz’s son from his previous relationship dropped some revealing information about their extended family.

It included allegations of child abuse… some serious direct “panel beating” on his son’s head while actually driving in the middle of London street.

As a step son, he also testified to allegations against Funke Akindele that… And I quote…

“She slaps her workers and calls them names. She accuses people of dating JJC Skillz.”

He went on to say Funke has cheated on his Dad.

On the day of the announcement, there were 300,000 Nigerians on ClubHouse arguing JJC Skillz’ financial status before merging life together with Funke.

But then I noticed that none of them was able to substantiate how he was making any substantial amount of money that we can match against what Funke Akindele had going for years before him due to her status.

But I guess that’s beside the point.

Apparently, JJC Skillz had his son live with them and many conflicts ensued that he clearly could not resolve.

But let’s talk about this condescending statement he made.

And I quote…

“I know I have tried my best to fix things but I believe it is beyond repair now. “

This statement is as typical as it comes when a man has just failed in a relationship or marriage (chop breakfast) and he is butt hurt.

It’s disrespectful to himself at best.

The least he could do is change all the I’s in that PR statement to include the mother of his kids.

That will reflect more self-respect than trying to play Mr Perfect who survived a failed marriage.

Is Funke Akindele Perfect or a Toxic Woman?

Apparently, there was a leaked video where Funke was accusing him of cheating and using company funds without proper accountability…

If you have access to that, please share with others in the comment area.

Are you noticing a pattern with high status women with regards to marriage?

Why can’t people be like Omotola Ekehinde (another actress) and her husband who is a  professional air pilot?

To me, it’s been clear that Funke and JJC Skillz’ marriage has been going through the mud and it’s very sad for the institution of marriage.

Here are the allegations…

I’ve heard people quoting a blogger called gistlover claiming the cause of separation to be:

1. Infidelity 

2. Mismanagement of Funds and 

3. Ego

I heard someone say they should have gotten married with a joint bank account.  I think that’s an ignorant suggestion.

The person said … and I quote “after all, he is the husband and why can’t he take money from their business account?”

First of all… that’s all speculation.

But let’s be clear. If you as a man choose to go marry a woman of higher status like Funke Akindele, the only joint document you should be expecting to sign is a prenup if her team knows what that hell they are doing.

You can check out Kandi Burruss and Todd of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.

So this guy had been posting a few proverbial songs on social media for a few days prior to his terrible amateur announcement…

This is all “unrealistic expectations” at best.

Funke Akindele is damn near the biggest actress in Nigeria. How do you not expect that to come with a healthy amount of ego that is not necessarily deliberate?

So even if she is guilty of the accusations of arrogance, that will be in addition to the natural.

As usual, this is a terrible version of unrealistic expectation mixed with egotistical pride on steroids.

Ok so apparently and allegedly, JJC Skillz and Funke Akindele lived in a 7 bedroom house but yet had to rent another house in town for his other extended family.

Is This What Funke is Guilty of?

So somehow, that 7 bedroom-family house is for the extended family and not a nuclear family?

Please… in the comment area… help me make this make sense.

I am in no way exonerating Funke here.

But my job on this channel is to hold the leader of the household accountable.

It’s not an indictment.  I am just pointing out your leverage point as a man which includes the choice to walk away and mean it when necessary as a leverage for best negotiations.

Gentlemen. We can’t negotiate desire.  We can’t afford to discount the power of desire, attraction, emotions and seduction in romantic relationships.  These are skills you must learn.

Funke is most likely not going to make a statement… that’s her track record.

But here we have a man who couldn’t wait to run to social media to make such a condescending announcement about his own family.  Your ex-spouse, especially with kids made together, remains your family for the rest of your life.

I have to be honest with you.  I expect to see more excuses for JJC Skillz outside of holding him to account for his decisions.

After all, you as a man can control your decisions more than you can control another human being who clearly has a higher status in society than you.

To be married to a Funke Akindele, a man will need to be 100% secured in himself.

Newsflash: That’s almost impossible.

Why can’t she just submit to her husband?  It’s not that simple.  

Even if she tries to submit, insecurities of a typical man will creep to the surface and attract disrespect from a typical woman of higher status.

We are not talking about people on salaries here.  There is nothing wrong with a wife making more money than you as a man… but don’t do it… especially if you think there is no such thing as an insecure man.

That’s precisely what you are with that belief system.  Don’t bother trying it.

Funke Akindele is a woman of a certain status and she’s been that… long before JJC Skillz came into the picture.

If you’ve been paying attention, sadly, these things are predictable.

That’s especially true in the modern age.

This is the actual reality that many men are having a hard time adjusting for.

I’ve noticed that they’d rather talk about their fantasies of going back to 1933 ways of doing marriage.

Good luck!

So the fact is that men need intensive coaching to marry in this time and age.

Also divorcees should definitely stay away from marriage until intensive 1 year coaching.

I offer all those things extremely affordably. The only excuse is ego.

Signs That Your Husband is Cheating

Ladies, few things in life feel worse than the nagging suspicion that your husband is cheating on you………other than to find out that’s actually the case.

There are a ton of little telltale signs that you may be able to spot that will start your womanly radar ticking.

Some of your man’s actions may end up being innocent enough, but at other times, where there’s smoke, there could be infidelity fire.

Cheating can be in the mind only, purely emotional, or physical, or a combination of all three.

Just like every marriage is different, so too is every case of cheating.

We won’t quote statistics, but studies show that a lot of men (and women for that matter) do contemplate cheating in some way at some point. It’s one way to explain why the nation’s divorce rate currently hovers at around 50 percent.

So, no matter what your degree of suspicion is when it comes to your husband and what’s in his mind, there are a number of things to keep an eye out for.

Don’t take them as gospel by themselves that cheating is going on, but if you see a lot of what follows in your marriage, it may be time for the “we need to talk” intervention.

Frustration in the marriage is one common trigger; the cheater may make several attempts to solve problems to no avail.

Maybe they had second thoughts about getting married or they were jealous over the attention given to a new baby and neither had the skill set to communicate these feelings.

Perhaps the straying spouse has childhood baggage — neglect, abuse, or a parent who cheated — that interferes with his or her ability to maintain a committed relationship.

Less often, the cheater doesn’t value monogamy, lacks empathy, or simply doesn’t care about the consequences.

We will take a look at a number of risk factors and causes for cheating, but it’s important to point out upfront that a partner doesn’t cause their spouse to cheat. Whether it was a cry for help, an exit strategy, or a means to get revenge after being cheated on themselves, the cheater alone is responsible for cheating.

1. He’s suddenly very interested in his appearance.

If your husband was previously indifferent to his appearance and is now spending more time than usual on his hair and clothes, it could be a sign that he’s trying to impress someone else.

He may also be working out more, or paying more attention to his grooming habits in general.

2. He’s working longer hours or taking more business trips.

If your husband’s work schedule has suddenly changed and he’s spending more time at the office or going on more business trips, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be using work as an excuse to meet someone else or to spend time away from home.

3. He’s become more distant and withdrawn.

If your husband is suddenly acting distant and withdrawn, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be less interested in talking to you or spending time with you. He may also seem preoccupied and distracted when you are together.

he’s cheating. He may be buying gifts for someone else, or he may be paying for activities that he wouldn’t normally spend money on.

4. He’s being secretive and evasive.

If your husband is being secretive and evasive, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be hiding his phone or computer from you, or deleting texts and emails without reading them.

He may also be reluctant to share information about his whereabouts or who he’s been spending time with.

5. He’s got a new group of friends.

If your husband has suddenly started hanging out with a new group of friends, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be spending more time with them than with you, or he may be secretive about who they are and what they do together.

6. He’s acting differently around you.

If your husband is acting differently around you, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be more critical of you, or he may be more distant and withdrawn.

He may also seem more interested in sex, or he may be less interested in sex.

7. He’s spending more money than usual.

If your husband is spending more money than usual, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be buying gifts for someone else, or he may be paying for activities that he wouldn’t normally spend money on.

8. What are those charges on the credit card?

If you monitor your monthly credit card statements and you start to see things pop up that you don’t recognize, they may be harmless, or they could be signs of monkey business that’s afoot.

If you can’t match up the expense with the story, that’s a problem. Also, if he’s now paying in cash for things that used to be charged, that’s a money monkey business concern as well.

9. He wants you to stop doing nice things for him.

Sometimes known as the Catholic guilt syndrome. If you’re being kind and considerate, as relationships should be, it could be revving up the conflict in him if he’s thinking about cheating or already doing so.

10. Cheat on me once, shame on you. Cheat on me twice, shame on me.

A spouse who has cheated in the past and gotten caught is more likely to think they can get away by doing a better job of cheating the second time around. If your spouse has a history of cheating, and you suspect cheating is happening again, it may be time to make that spouse a part of your history instead.

Why Do Husbands Cheat?

There are a lot of reasons that husbands cheat on their wives. Sometimes it has to do with the husband’s own insecurities or feeling like he isn’t good enough for his wife.

Sometimes cheating is a way to get revenge after an argument or disagreement. And sometimes, husbands cheat simply because they’re curious or they want to experience something new.