5 Signs Your Husband Repulses You Sexually & What To Do

In this lesson, I will be sharing 5 signs you may have been experiencing to make you feel like your husband repulses you… 

And maybe even disgusts you in more ways than one.

You would probably agree that this is not a fun way to be in a marriage with your husband

and you probably feel guilty already for feeling this way.

Over the years, I’ve had friends who complained bitterly about their husbands not being fully committed to them.

They feel like they are invisible to their men. 

Some of them wonder if their husbands were cheating.

And these are the kinds of feelings that can lead  to feeling disconnected from the husband even after sex.

I’ve personally been in this place to the extent that all I wanted to do was run away from the marriage.

Eventually, I filed for divorce because it felt like there was nothing else to fight for,

…but I am lucky to still be in the same marriage.

So let’s dive in through the 5 signs you may already be experiencing.

1st Sign –

Your Husband Doesn’t Notice You Anymore

If you are feeling like your husband has taken you for granted,

…that is almost the equivalence of feeling rejected in your marriage.

I remember a few years into our marriage when I started to feel like my husband stopped paying attention.

He became oblivious of my needs and desires (I felt like it at the time) and he was lost in his own world.

Eventually, I started to feel disconnected from him to the extent that I started fantasizing about life without my husband.

That’s just the natural progression after feeling like you don’t matter anymore in your marriage.

And if care is not taken, you can also lose yourself.

How did you get into a space where your husband starts to take you for granted?

There is a chance that you are probably way too predictable to keep engaging his attraction towards more of your attention.

He has your attention in excess so naturally, (like the rest of us) we take anything that is readily available for granted.

So if you don’t know what you are doing and  why he does what he does, you eventually start to resent him and get used to the idea of your husband repulsing you.

You need to learn how to flip into being unpredictable.

If you had gotten more involved in your personal purpose, allowing you to give him some space before your resentments started boiling, 

…he would have been more curious about what you are up to effectively seducing him back to noticing you more.

2nd Sign That Leads to Feeling Like Your Husband Repulses You –

Your Husband Stopped Initiating Sex

PREVIOUS POST: 13 Signs That Will Make You Say “My Husband Hates Me” to Yourself

I know your mind may be focused on the possibility of your husband cheating on you but that is not always the case. 

There are many reasons why your husband may have stopped initiating sex.

And it is very important for you to explore those possibilities before concluding in a way that leads to resenting him.

When our marriage was in crisis, I didn’t know any better and that led to my mind creating the worst case scenarios you could ever think of.

What if your husband was going through a tough time with work and he was just too ashamed, scared or he just avoided putting the burden on you?

Instead of leaving your marriage in the hands of fate to figure out for you while you build more resentments towards him, 

…why not start by planning a date night and scheduling sex for a change… 

All that can replace the idea of waiting for him to initiate sex all together in an even more exciting way. 

I know what you are thinking.

You are probably thinking that scheduling sex is boring.

But a scheduled sex is better than not getting any at all in addition to building resentments towards your husband repulsing you.

This method and other similar strategies are just initial ways of giving yourselves something to look forward to until things kick off naturally again. 

As I said earlier, there are other reasons why your husband may have stopped initiating sex besides just putting his legs up in complacency and relaxing in the marriage.

Erectile dysfunction, complacency, normalizing bad marriages are just a few other reasons you should be aware of.  

You will never know unless you engage your power and ask in love.

In some of these cases, you will have to support him by encouraging him to talk to a professional if it comes to that.

But the keyword there is “encourage” and not demanding.

3rd Sign –

Your Husband is Too Busy to Make Time for You

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Unfortunately you have now found yourself in a place where it feels like you are not your husband’s first priority but more of a burden to him.

That is not the ideal husband. Is it? 

I also went through those same emotions for the better part of the first 9 years in our marriage.

Our sex life was actually good.

But it was the feelings that I had after sex that bothered me the most.

It felt like that was all he wanted from me.

If you are going through similar emotions, eventually you will resent your husband just like I did and intimacy will also cease to happen.

And so the only way to get help is to understand the underlying reasons why he seems to be focused on other things rather than your relationship. 

He is your husband.

Don’t wait until your resentments hit the boiling point.

You probably know what gets him in a lighter mood and you can then use it to your advantage,

…to have a heart-to-heart talk in a loving way.

Avoid assumptions, arguments and being judgmental so that he won’t be triggered to shutting down on you and your relationship emotionally.

You see… 

Life can be tough on all of us.

And the person that feels the heat and effect of that the most is the closest person to us which is you; being the wife.

The easiest route to take when you are being hurt emotionally is to get caught up in the emotion.

But the reality is that you can work a little harder because of the rewards.

Find out the “why” and leverage it in the favor of your marriage and most importantly, the underlying relationship.

4th Sign –

Your Husband Often Communicated in Sarcastic Tone

Marriage will test the character of both parties in ways that are usually hidden in a blind spot.

Unfortunately, the way these flaws are revealed in your marriage will be in communication break-down.

Why?

Because insecurities come with everyone and reality shows up when a crisis or trauma happens in your relationship.

If your husband seems to call you mean names and makes you feel worthless, he is probably coming from a place of hurt and resentment. 

The purpose of my assertions here is not to create excuses for him…

but to give you the opportunity to understand him psychologically and emotionally.

In fact, he continues to blame you for everything wrong in his life probably because you have tolerated bad behavior.

So you are partly responsible for enabling this behavior since you are also an adult who chose to be in a relationship with him.

As usual if you keep these dynamics up in your marriage, you will get hurt and build resentments as well; which then leads to these feelings of husband repulsion.

So in order to avoid these feelings, you may need to disengage immediately to an extent; until he starts desiring to give into your relationship again.

You need to seduce him until he understands that it is unacceptable and the way you can communicate this is how you allow yourself to be treated. 

It’s time for you to earn respect for yourself by respecting yourself.

Your husband may also be depressed where his sarcastic tone may be his way of coping.

This may sound harsh but you can’t help him if he doesn’t want your help or know he needs it.

So I would advise that you get yourself some support like a professional who can guide you on what you can do to help your relationship.

And also, learn how to look out for yourself so you don’t get burnt out.

5th Sign That Leads to Feeling Like Your Husband Repulses You –

Your Husband Would Rather Confide in Other Women

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

You are probably feeling that your husband has become a stranger to you because he would rather share moments and intimacy with other women.

As always, not addressing this as soon as possible will turn to boiling resentments which we are now interpreting as husband repulsion.

It all started from somewhere.

You see… 

Most people think cheating and infidelity is all about stepping out physically on a spouse; that’s inaccurate.

Cheating is happening anytime you are engaged in activities that you are ashamed of and effectively hiding it from your spouse. 

Your spouse might be engaged in an emotional affair.

So you need to ask yourself first…. 

Is your relationship worth saving for you?

If your answer is “yes”, don’t overreact.

Do not confront him about this yet because it might set him off running or shutting down completely.

If you want to save your marriage now, you have work to do personally on yourself. 

You might have found yourself in this situation because you engaged controlling behavior by taking care of your partner to a fault of neediness.

Also engaging in judgmental and disrespectful arguments can make you neglect yourself to the point of losing yourself.

However it’s not too late to get your self-confidence back and start feeling attracted to your husband again.

Now you know that you have choices either to attract your spouse back or move on because you deserve better than what you are feeling now. 

Our motto is the G.P.S which you have to master in order to influence your partner back. 

For more information, please download our book 

GET MY MARRIAGE BACK

…for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
For more lessons like this, go to www.LOLAandOLA.com/blog

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Is it normal to be disgusted by your husband?

No… it is not normal however many women and wives can feel this type of emotion towards their husband if there is a history of resentments and bottled-up issues.

Why is my husband not interested in me sexually?

There are many reasons he may not be interested in you sexually but there is a good chance it has nothing to do with you. Start with a conversation with an intention to hear him out.

What do you do when your partner is uninterested sexually?

If your partner seems uninterested sexually, attempt a conversation with an intention to hear him out and not to judge.

What are the signs of a bad husband?

The seeming signs of a bad husband are struggles with making you feel heard, abuser who abuses you mentally, emotionally or physically but be mindful that these may also be signs of a man who is struggling internally.

Unrealistic EXPECTATION in Relationships & Marriages ❤️ 2 Reasons why it DESTROYS…

How do you deal with unrealistic expectations in a relationship?

Expectations are only as real as the existence of this conversation; no more and no less.

Frankly, they don’t have to be any more significant than…

  1. Your ability to manage your expectations
  2. And your ability to interpret expressions of your partner’s expectations.

It is problematic 100% of the time when you receive expressions of expectations from your partner as an attack.

Naturally, you will feel a need to defend yourself and that’s what creates a vicious cycle of toxic relationships.

Instead, why not consider the expression of expectations as a gift and an opportunity to give into the relationship.

Are Women’s Standards & Expectations too High?

That’s a tricky question.

On one hand, I personally am not attracted to a woman with low standards and I also found that…

Most of the men that I know are not attracted to that also.

But on the other hand, this question comes from a valid place because frankly, there are blurry or fine lines between standard and expectations.

The way I look at it is that a woman needs to feel safe enough to express our expectations without feeling like it will be received as an attack.

What About Some Unrealistic Expectations Examples?

It starts for a lot of people in the dating phase with the idea of revelation of everything on a first date.

As human beings, we tend to put up a front naturally when we are getting to know a person of interest.

But to add onto that, the expectation of another human remaining the same throughout the course of a relationship is unrealistic.

This expectation usually shows up in the form of vibe, energy, action and most importantly, outlook.

Are Unrealistic Expectations in Marriage Leading to Divorce?

Yes they are… but that’s not always an obvious thing.

It usually happens as a slow but sure death over time.

When you observe healthy relationships and marriage goals from a far,

The amount of grace and investment that goes into that is not often the most obvious to see.

By the time most people get to the stage of divorce, they have usually lost sight of where it all started…

What they can usually see are the resentments.

There are many other reasons why a marriage may lead divorce of course,

But I guarantee that somewhere in-there, 93+% of the time, there was a display of unrealistic expectation on one another.

“My Husband Has too High & Unrealistic Expectations of Me”

If you feel like you are going through this with your husband, it’s time to learn something new.

There is a good chance that you also have expectations of your husband to know how to better set his expectations in your relationship.

I guess he failed and you probably feel that your expectations are realistic but then… I agree with you.

As you know, I don’t have context of your particular situation

But you should know that your knowledge of his expectations can be a powerful seduction tool in your marriage

…without hurting yourself in the process.

Granted…

He may be terrible in communicating his “terrible expectations” to you but I would just start asking yourself,

“What can I do with that information?”

OR… you can do what most people do which is to receive it as an attack, get defensive and trash the relationship.

Unrealistic Expectations in Dating

Exact scientific formulas are simply not enough when vetting for dating because all it does is create a massive emotional blind spot.

There are systems but they have to be internalized.

The most popular UNREALISTIC expectations in dating is wrapped around money and beauty;

Just superficial things and currencies that depreciate in value moment by moment.

While it is cool to be attracted to certain looks, social or economic class, these are not basic human needs that stand the test of time.

In just a few years…

Not only will money and beauty fade, your focus in particular, on these superficial things will fade.

Unfortunately, it might be too late for you to start prioritizing other qualities that matter in your partner.

You can give yourself money and beauty.

Women’s Unrealistic Expectations about Marriage Tend to Stem from…

…Past hurtful experiences.

To be frank, that’s applicable to both women and men alike.

Naturally, what we all want is love and/or connection.

All we want to do is give a special person some love.

But that seems to change when people go through hurtful experiences in relationships.

Then they naturally start to learn ideologies precisely designed to be defense mechanisms.

And that, in its very self, works against the essence of a healthy relationship or marriage.

Unrealistic Expectations of Love

The expectations that most people have of love is not so much unrealistic but nonetheless, damaging to committed relationships and marriage.

People, in general, start relationships on love as a feeling rather than as a choice that requires investing in.

I think that’s fair because that almost seems to be the point if we are being honest; it’s love and connection without being forced right?

But with time, it’s only natural for feelings to fade.

And we all take anything that’s readily available for granted after the newness fades.

Most people expect the initial “in-love” experience to continue the way it started and that’s an unrealistic expectation of love from human beings.

That’s When it Becomes Unrealistic Expectations of Others

This gets worse when people say things like

“He/she doesn’t make me happy much longer.”

The reality in most cases is that happiness comes from the inside.

But in the beginning, it is camouflaged as coming from others because you don’t truly know them enough.

You are new to, and fascinated with each other.

Over time, it’s in your best interest and that of the relationship for you to find out deeper reasons why you were attracted to each other outside of momentary feelings.

Then you have to be deliberate and intentional in nurturing it or else, it, also, will fade like every other feelings you will have in life.


Yes. Expectations have to be managed but that’s by all of us.

Self awareness is key in navigating the toxic energy of expectations in relationships and marriages.

What I would say from my experience is that there is room for improvement in more listening when it comes to communication.

To create a healthy relationship and effectively a healthy marriage, don’t take the expectations of your partner too seriously

…beyond useful insights for a better and healthier relationship.

In fact, ultimately you want them to feel free to continue to express those expectations if you want to enjoy your relationships without resentments.

But we all need to manage our expectations when it comes to relationships.

Keep in mind that love only thrives when we love with respect to freedom.

The truth is that everyone comes into relationships with emotional trauma (camouflaged as expectations often times).

So I feel there is probably better value in learning the systems in handling the inevitable crisis in relationships.

There are 100’s and 1,000’s of signals that create what you’ve got today in your relationship…

Blame, guilt and condemnation absolutely won’t work because…

The only thing that you can control is your self-development efforts.

The real enemy of relationships are extreme ideologies which doesn’t allow you to see where you can extend grace when necessary.

I believe that when we start looking at relationships as an opportunity to give as opposed to give and take,

We will create more leadership that will effectively create the love-dance that we all want, admire and desire in marriage-goals.

We all need to work on emotional intelligence.

The brilliance in emotional intelligence is that blame, guilt and condemnation works against it 100% of the time.

We all need to lead by listening…

But personally I believe that if all fails, the person complaining needs to lead.

If that fails, men need to lead simply because of the patriarchal society that most of us still live in.

That’s what I personally believe.

We all have the same 6 basic human needs as copied from Tony Robbins

  1. Certainty
  2. Significance
  3. Variety
  4. Love/Connection
  5. Growth
  6. Contribution

But our history as individuals and groups will absolutely skew how we navigate from the same problems to the same solutions.

Sometimes, the traumas have to be unpacked.

One of the issues with expectations in a relationship is quickness to be defensive often camouflaged as response.

In a relationship, be encouraged to continue to put your focus on recognizing opportunities to give (sometimes educate)...

…rather than the opportunity to take an offense from triggers and trauma.

If you are quick to take things as an attack from your partner, it’s only natural to defend yourself

…and then go down a rabbit hole from there.., potentially trash a relationship you care about and/or divorce.

Are men too stupid to meet women’s expectation?

That’s usually the direction of these conversations when women gather in support groups to talk about this

…without a professional and emotionally intelligent moderator.

I encourage that you consider the possibilities that a man is not stupid and just may have a different goal and objective that you should learn.

Granted, men don’t always communicate with emotional intelligence.

In relationships, some of the most important information you need to give and attract the love you want, desire and deserve are passed non-verbally.

Mismatch of Expectations?

That only exists in 2 scenarios that you can actually manage.

  1. It exists when you don’t manage your expectations with respect to the dynamics that a partner brings into a relationship with you.
  2. It also exists when you don’t give your partner the freedom to express their expectations without taking it personally.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

How do you deal with unrealistic expectations in a relationship?

Give your partner the freedom to express their expectations without taking it personally or holding yourself hostage on delivery of all of the expectation.

What is unrealistic expectation?

Unrealistic expectations are expectations made on a relationship without accounting for the capability of a partner and the dynamics of the nature of human relationships.

What are realistic expectations in a relationship?

Realistic expectations are expectations made on a relationship with regards to the capability of a partner and the dynamics of the nature of human relationships.

What problems can unrealistic expectations cause?

Unrealistic expectations tend to weigh negatively on relationships because most people engaged in relationships evolve with time into expectations of what they get as opposed to how it started which is giving love to a partner.

“FIDELITY, MARRIAGE & HOLINESS”📍 John Gray

Question: “Fidelity, Marriage & Holiness”

In particular we are talking about holiness.

So there’s this video that John Gray said:

“For those who need to hear me say this. The name of the Lord is holy. The standard is holiness. The word of God is utterly holy. He is not to be toyed with. Church is not a gain and pastors are held to the highest of standards, moral integrity, character when no one is looking, fidelity and faithfulness in marriage and for me, not submitting to process, not staying accountable and not utilizing the voices available to teach me the tools have caused me to make bad decisions.”

For a minute I got confused there, I thought he was gonna say “Touch not my anointed”.

But if you read between the lines, you will know that that’s really what he meant.

I’m just used to “touch not my anointed one” because that’s how our own Nigerian pastors…

That’s how they say “don’t judge me, how dare you” that’s what I was getting from there but in a different form.

I was expecting him to say “Touch not my anointed”, the usual one that they say.

But he did say it in a different form and then at the end of the day he is saying he didn’t take accountability,

…I mean his whole message is confusing.

Many pastors I know are really struggling with their marriages and the only common thing with them is because they are all pastors.

And these are all extremely huge pastors.

Big pastors, some of them are still very loud about how a woman should be submissive.

That’s to support the point we are making here.

It’s bigger than just your holiness Bro.

Maybe striving for holiness is better than holiness because Holiness is not attainable.

PREVIOUS POST: “Remorse vs Repentance”📍 John Gray

Can we just be honest about that?

But we are not gonna say like that because people should still strive to be better people.

I believe in people striving to be better people than this holiness thing.

The reason why I kick against like that, I know to certain church people they are gonna be like “what do you mean?” I get it.

Your chest comes out when you hear “Holiness is not good enough” I get it but I didn’t mean to say that,

Just like John Gray did not mean to say “touch not my anointed” but that’s actually what he said by saying holiness.

It’s not relevant, that’s the point.

So Fidelity, Marriage & Holiness.

You’re right, you’re wrong.

It clearly doesn’t matter and I know maybe I didn’t bring enough samples but there’s more than enough samples out there,

…and as we said earlier, a lot of pastors suffer in marriage or their wife is suffering in the marriage at least,

Because their outlook on life is this holiness thing and they can’t live up to that standard unfortunately.

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John Gray cannot live up to this standard.

He is still busy presenting that he can’t.

Talking about Fidelity, Marriage & Holiness, we are asking something simple, as simple as faithfulness to your wife.

We are not even asking him but he decided to come and share that, after the blogs broke that out.

And you’re talking about holiness Bro?

You’re manipulating people, you are saying holiness is the standard.

Standard of what?

Nobody is arguing about that.

That’s the point I’m making.

Nobody is arguing that holiness is the standard when talking about the bible, but we are talking about a real human being in your house,

… that you just hurt because you told them that you are gonna be faithful to them and your lifestyle and you being a pastor and she is also a pastor Mrs,

You can’t even live up to that and you are talking about Fidelity, Marriage & Holiness.

Are you confused or something?

So this is the confusion that’s going on everywhere.

You can see it everywhere.

Keep it simple, with regards to Fidelity, Marriage & Holiness,

Let’s not worry about holiness, let’s not worry about you being God.

Let’s just start with, you’re human.

We just found out that you’re human, you just found out that you are human let’s focus on that.

So remove yourself and don’t worry about the blogs.

Let them go crazy.

See, wise people, the most powerful people in the world will probably let the blogs go crazy.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

They let them knock themselves out and say “Oh what happened, you found out that I slept with your dog yesterday? Knock yourself out okay?”,

…God forbid I didn’t sleep with a dog really.

You know what I’m saying.

Knock yourself out.

Why do you feel the need to come and respond so quickly?

It tells me you are guilty and I don’t even like pointing out guilt, but because we are humans, like we just said,

We are humans so just let it go.

You have to learn how to let go.

Yes they are talking about you right now you are making the news, there was a real video, we get it.

Put out a statement through a PR.

No need to apologize because your apology is useless right now and especially to your wife, sadly.

Your apology is useless and most apologies are useless.

Let’s just put that out like that.

When it comes to the holiness situation with church folks, I don’t even get involved because I don’t consider myself a holy person.

I’m not even gonna sit down there and argue with you.

I just don’t know why I would be fighting.

People who try to present themselves as holiness or a holy person, it’s a waste of energy for the most part.

No one is perfect.

Though you can try to be a better person than you are yesterday.

You can work on that because that’s easier.

Don’t waste your energy on holiness.

It’s a waste of energy honestly and you are not gonna attain it.

Let’s just be practical, it’s never gonna happen as long as you’re human, good luck on that.

Even Jesus was knocked to the wood eventually so who are you, you are not holy.

Stop talking about holiness as the standard.

Who are you?

Holiness can be a bastard.

It becomes pride for some people you know.

“Is infidelity God’s FAULT?”📍 John Gray

Question: “Is infidelity God’s FAULT?”

“…why do you use me? I didn’t ask for this. You raised me up and I told you I’m not the one. I told you I got all of these stuff I have been praying for years, my answers never come. But I pray for others and you answer them right away. Why did you raise me up if you knew that I was gonna miss it and in the process of trying to serve you, my humanity would explode from behind the facade of religious perfection…” – John Gray

He just blamed God for everything, “I told you I’m not capable of being a pastor and you make me a pastor?”

But he’s been collecting the money.

He did a show called The Book of John Gray, I love that show.

He was also a background singer back in the day.

I actually think he is such a wise guy until this issue happened.

When he speaks, It’s his talent you can’t take that away from him.

A gift is a gift and he has that gift,

… but that doesn’t mean you are not going to be responsible for your emotional affairs or happenings.

See when you tender an apology too early this is what happens,

… you will say the wrong things.

First of all, that apology was too long.

He should have done the PR thing.

The wisest people in this world, what they do is they send a PR to go tender an apology statement because your truth varies.

Your truth now when this thing just happened is only based on your reaction.

While the truth you have a few weeks later from now would have changed because you would have settled in.

You would have used the wisdom of God to process what happened.

Plus, you will have more information and everything would have been calmed a little bit.

You are busy apologizing to the world, when that’s not the least of your issues because he said it, he is strong bone.

PREVIOUS POST: “The WRONG WAY To Take Responsibility”📍 John Gray

The person that covers him is his wife.

That’s the person that covers him but he is going to lose that.

Then come and give or tender his apology like a day after the news broke out,

…that you threw out completely under the bus?

Like come on.

So infidelity, what is it miscommunication?

Whatever he just did or he called it because “It wasn’t physical” so it doesn’t matter.

And all of this is God’s fault because God called him,

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…but he collects that money, he has been making money with his brand.

He is so manipulative.

He made so much money and bought a Lamborghini for the wife as the last apology.

Yes, the apology from some strange woman.

I mean, all these years I have been going to church, God forgive me, I didn’t know about the strange woman until they talked about that.

I was like “why is she saying strange woman like that”, the way she emphasizes on that strange woman…

Well, strange women and strange men, they are everywhere.

So, Is infidelity God’s fault?

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

No, infidelity is not God’s fault.

You have to be responsible with your own actions.

And when you are covering things up and then the wrong things are coming out of your mouth,

That’s what happens when you apologize too early.

Too early or premature apologies are manipulative.

There are other ways to fix emotional matters quickly.

It takes time.

Wife or Husband Denying You Sex? DO THIS!!!

If this happened to you, you are probably feeling rejected and unwanted.

…but you need to understand what just happened deeply and not just on the surface.

The easy thing that most people do is feel like a victim and therefore lose complete control of the situation.

They get defensive, insecure and make their spouse out to be the bad guy or gal who just wants to be cruel.

But it’s deeper than that and you can be in more control than you feel right now; getting angry and defensive will perpetuate the situation.

What can you do when your wife continuously keeps denying you sex? 

When you get sex from her, it’s always after pleading.

The first step is to back off for a while because it is unlikely that she is wanting to punish you.

If that was the case, that would also mean that she is denying herself… doesn’t make sense.

If she wants to have sex with you, she would also be punishing herself in order to punish you.

There is more to what is happening, so as a 2nd step backing off…

find out what is going on emotionally and psychologically.

If you do get sex after pleading ONLY, that also means you are not enjoying the full experience of intimate sex with your spouse.

That’s not healthy because eventually, you may start resenting your spouse.

What should a husband do when his wife refuses to have sex?

STEP 1 – Back up from asking for sex.

STEP 2 – Find out what the underlying issues are using effective listening.

Do wives deny their husbands sex as a form of manipulation?

There are a 2 ideal and simultaneous reasons why wives have sex with with their husbands.

1 – Desire: Wives have sex with a husband they desire sexually; they desire sex and desire the husband sexually.

So using sex to manipulate would also means that they are inflicting pain in themselves.

2 – Gift: It can also represent a form of gift to a person they (you guessed it) DESIRE.

Sex as a duty is not one of the reasons why wives have sex with their husbands.

I understand many religions and cultures around the world have deemed it conjugal rights…

But numerous studies and careful observations have revealed that people enjoy it only when there is free will DESIRE, and that’s regardless of marital status.

By default, “not desiring to have sex with spouse” is usually not relevant to manipulation.

So…

Why would a woman refuse sex from her husband? Why is my wife denying me sex?

It could be due to an array of multiple different reasons like trust, betrayal, medical, emotional and etc … reasons.

Take the time to find out and approach your seduction moves from that angle.

Wife rejection syndrome is real but you may have more strength than you think to not just be patient but seduce her back into your harms; desire is a necessary ingredient.

What does the Bible say about a wife denying her husband?

Here is the what the bible says in ‭‭the book of 1 Corinthians‬ ‭7:3-5‬ ‭

“Then they may have sex with each other in the right way.

A husband should agree to have sex with his wife.

And the wife should do the same thing for her husband.

The wife does not rule over her own body to decide when to have sex.

She belongs to her husband.

In the same way, the husband does not rule over his own body.

He belongs to his wife.

Do not refuse to have sex with each other, unless both of you agree to stop for a short time.

Then you can use more time to pray.

But you should come together again soon, as husband and wife.

If not, Satan may try to make you do something wrong.

You may want too strongly to have sex with someone else.”

This is one of those verses in the bible that needs deeper interpretation than just face-value misogynistic interpretation.

Sure there is a direct instruction, “do not…”

But all those rules fly out the window when you start hearing crazy voices in your head when sex is proposed from a spouse you’ve lost desire for.

So referencing all those bible verses will only come off as manipulative; it will even kill attraction further.

When a man rejects you sexually…

The same rule applies.

The truth is that the dynamics may be slightly different.

But you should pay attention to the “not so obvious” underlying reasons.

Defensiveness, overreaction and neediness will only make matters worse.

How often should a wife please her husband?

She should please her husband every time he wants but just because she should doesn’t mean she would.

And it doesn’t mean, she will or she will be capable of pleasing him.

Why does my wife refuse to be intimate with me?

When she wants to be cruel and wicked… but I am just kidding.

There are many underlying issues under the categories medical and mental that can make your wife refuse to be intimate with you.

The first step is to find out what the underlying issues are; that process requires patience.

Why am I not enough sexually for my husband?

There is an assumption of guilt there but it probably has very little to do with you.

Likewise, it won’t be wise to assume context as it would matter in determining the right strategy to attract your husband again.

Is it Wise to Deny Your Husband Sex?

This morning, I saw this post below posted on Facebook and I thought we should discuss.

“If you deny your husband sex, you are not wise. Bang him when things are wrong. That’s how to handle marriage. Can I get a witness?”

I am not sure if this was an advice or what…

Whatever it is (don’t deny your husband sex) is terrible and I will tell you why…

When you are married to a person that (hopefully) you are sexually attracted to, you wouldn’t want to deny them sex because…

That would also mean denying yourself the sex… as well.

So it doesn’t make sense.

However, if your spouse breaks trust, it can make you lose sexual attraction towards them… which means you despise sex.

That’s where the topic came from.

“Despise vs Deny Sex?!?!!?”

In fact, they asked a lady if she would consider denying her husband of sex if he cheated?

She answered/asked… “Who did I offend?”

It’s very important to know the difference between these 2 because it will determine your strategy to seducing your spouse back again.

If you feel that your spouse denied you sex, you will build resentments and you will react accordingly which will further make them despise sex with you.

On the flip side, when you realize that attraction is simply low, you will naturally focus on learning how to seduce him/her back into your harms.

So no wife or husband is sitting around looking to denied themselves of good sex that they also want… may be they just don’t want to have sex.

Sex may be a duty but it feels terribly wrong as a duty to at least one of the parties when it’s done as a duty or chore.

It feels a lot better when you do it because you want it… in fact, that’s the point.

Majority of people that accuse wives of denying husband of sex in a crisis have completely missed it…

They miss the part where she just doesn’t want to have sex because of the underlying issues.

And it is in fact manipulative and unreasonable to use guilt to get someone to do it when they don’t want it.

If you haven’t claimed your free copy of GET MY MARRIAGE BACK, you can do so by clicking here.

Cheers 🙂

LOLA & OLA

P.S. There is no such thing as a spouse denying his/her partner of sex; he/she either want to or despise having sex with the partner.

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