5 Signs of wife LOSING INTEREST In Husband

Question: “5 Signs of wife LOSING INTEREST In Husband”

There are five signs that I want to share with you in this video however, there may be other signs.

There may be other things you’re seeing, but these are the most common five signs.

I want to share that with you.

Just understand that these signs are not necessarily gospel truth.

These things may be showing in your wife, and there may be other reasons why these things are happening,

…but it’s also a good chance that the wife is losing interest.

So here are the, 5 Signs of wife LOSING INTEREST In Husband

They avoid conversations.

Your wife is avoiding conversations with you and they’re giving you one word answers.

They are basically acting like they’re not interested in anything you have to say.

That’s a good sign that they’re losing interest.

If anything at all, you know that at least in this moment in time, they don’t have any interest.

But also, if you do that long enough, that can translate into a long term.

They’re not interested in a relationship with you and they’re falling off and you should absolutely do something about that.

They complain about PDA.

What is PDA?

It stands for Public Display of Affection.

Sometimes you don’t necessarily complain expressly in words, sometimes they say outright and say

“Why are you touching me. Don’t touch me. Leave me alone”.

Things like that is a sign obviously, that the wife is losing interest in the husband.

Just keep in mind that these things are symptoms.

There are underlying issues and if you focus on the symptoms too much or you take it to heart too much,

…you’re probably gonna do the wrong things and you’re gonna push your wife even farther away from you,

And you help them lose even more interest.

But it’s good to have the signs but these are symptoms, but you need to find out what the underlying issues are, and you need to fix them.

They roll their eyes consistently.


So your wife, anytime you’re talking to them, you have a conversation,

They tend to roll their eyes when you’re having serious conversations with them.

They may say things like, “Oh, there he goes again” things like that and they start rolling eyes and stuff like that when they’re talking to you.

That is a sign that your wife is losing interest in you and that is a symptom of underlying negative things that are happening in your relationship,

…that you should absolutely try to fix.

She makes it clear that she’s no longer interested.

If she says these words, you need to believe her because if you don’t believe her, you’re gonna make things worse.

You may say “maybe she’s joking around”.

This is one of the problems that men have.

A lot of times we don’t see this kind of thing coming because we kind of figure, you’re committed,

…you went to the altar and you’re in this together for the long run and you’re hoping that she’s also in it for the long run.

But again, women operate off of their feelings and their emotions,

…and if it’s not right, they will bail on you.

That’s just the way it is.

So if she’s made it clear that she’s lost interest, don’t take that for granted.

Take it seriously.

Have a conversation and say “what is going on babe? Talk to me”.

When you do say that, make sure that you’re not being defensive.

Make sure you’re not approaching that institution with defensiveness because that’s only gonna make things worse.

That’s not gonna help you.

She gives excuses every time.

TRENDING: 5 Signs Your wife is NOT Attracted to You ❤️

Seemingly every time.

It feels like it’s every time that she gives excuses to avoid sex.

If she’s avoiding intimacy and sexual activities with you, that’s clearly a sign that she’s losing interest.

Now, her losing interest, let me round off with this, Okay?

If she’s losing interest, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to be with you.

It just means right now.

If you don’t pay attention to it, it can become forever but it ultimately most of the time means right now.

These are the signs that something is wrong with your relationship, and you should, in fact, do something about it.

So for a quick recap,

5 Signs of wife LOSING INTEREST In Husband

  1. They avoid conversations.
  2. They complain about PDA.

Public Display of Affection, they’re not interested in any kind of make-good, look-good in public anything with you.

  1. Rolls her eyes consistently.
  2. She makes it clear she lost interest.

She’s actually said it in words, don’t take that for granted.

  1. She gives excuses.

She gives all types of excuses, she has an excuse why.

She’s tired, she doesn’t want to, she doesn’t initiate.

Maybe she’s not an initiator, but she’s not interested all the time even when you initiate,

…then you should pay attention to that.

Just keep in mind that if you don’t have enough self love, you’re not gonna attract her back to yourself.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

If you don’t have a personal purpose that is bigger than yourself and her,

…chances are she’s gonna lose interest in you because you’re probably busy chasing her around and you’re making things worse.

So you should have those things in place.

And last but not least, you should have some self love.

You should pay attention to what made you attract her in the first place and pay attention.

Put those things back in place.

It could be you lost your job.

You’ve been defensive in recent times, you don’t give her any pass, you’re very abusive with your words, Verbal.

You know, things like that will turn a woman off, and obviously she will lose interest in any kind of intimacy with you.

“My Wife Is NOT ATTRACTED To Me Anymore”

Question: “My Wife Is NOT ATTRACTED To Me Anymore”

If you are experiencing a situation where you feel like your wife is not attracted to you anymore,

…I know that feeling and it’s usually not your fault.

For me, it wasn’t my fault so there’s a good chance it’s not your fault.

So relax and let’s study together.

What will bring your wife to a place where she’s acting like she’s not attracted to you anymore?

What does that mean exactly?

Can we spell this out?

Does that mean your wife doesn’t wanna have sex with you anymore?

She doesn’t like the idea of touching in public or even privately, she’s not affectionate right now, she’s not feeling it.

Well, there are many reasons why that could happen.

Like if your wife just had a baby, there is a good chance that there’s a lot of things going on with her body, from a hormonal standpoint.

So you wanna be aware, you want to study or you wanna learn these things,

…but let’s just assume that it’s not because she just had a baby, let’s just assume that suddenly something like that just happened.

Some people will go to the angle of, is she seeing somebody else?

Is there somebody at the job?

What could it be?

First of all, the good news is that it doesn’t have to be someone else that she’s seeing,

…it could be, but it doesn’t have to be.

But even if it’s someone else, the worst thing you wanna worry about, is that person.

In your mind, you should look at that person as a loser because if a woman does not have enough integrity to hold on to the commitment she has with you,

…just because she is filled in, then whoever attracts her, he’s probably a loser so don’t worry about that too much.

However, let’s worry about your relationship with your wife.

There is something missing and usually it’s not because you’re lacking.

It’s the relationship itself, it’s not any of the individuals.

See when we have a relationship, we start with excitement, with it’s very highs, higher highs and higher lows,

…but unfortunately in life we get complacent and everyone relaxes.

We get to know each other and then naturally we start to take each other for granted.


Whoever gets to that turning point first, will basically reject the other person and the other person will feel that rejection,

…and that breeds obsession,

But honestly it’s not just you, it’s on both ends.

Whoever rejects first will create obsession on the other end and it’s not necessarily your fault.

It’s just something that happens to the best of us in life, especially in the longer term relationship like marriage.

So what are the things that you need to do?

First of all, it’s okay to accept it like ”yes she is not attracted right now”, because attraction is temporary in nature.

If you do some things in a long term or long enough, then it feels like that is a marriage relationship goal, it feels like you’re always attracted to each other.

Yes, because you’ve stored long enough in your love tank.

However, if you haven’t figured this out yet and you are still experiencing this situation where you feel like your wife is not attracted to you,

…then there’s one,two or three things that you should learn.

The first thing you should learn is that your wife will only be attracted to you if you are attracted to yourself.

There is a thing about confidence that attracts anyone in life.

Even men or women, when you have confidence and everyone can feel it and you’re basically beaming confidence out of your body, everyone is attracted to that.

So if you’re showing off with insecurities, if you’re defensive in your conversation, if you’re engaging in unnecessary arguments,

…toxic arguments with your wife, it’s only a matter of time before they start to lose respect for you.

And if she doesn’t respect you, she can’t love you.

If you build enough of those things over time, yes she’s not gonna be attracted to you.

TRENDING: 5 Signs Your wife is NOT Attracted to You ❤️

For whatever reason, she’s not attracted right now or at least you don’t feel like she’s attracted to you right now anymore.

There are clearly things that you’re seeing, maybe she doesn’t want to have sex, maybe she doesn’t want to be touched

…like I said earlier, she doesn’t want a public display of affection.

Things like that are signs that she’s not attracted, so let’s just assume she’s not.

The ball is in your court because you have history with this woman, that’s a good thing.

But you gotta give her space.

Essentially, what she’s asking for is space.

You know what they say about distance, “it makes the heart fonder” so if you’re just there trying to smother her, you don’t give her that space to miss you,

…that is the evidence or a good reason why she’s losing attraction for you.

You’re being predictable, she doesn’t have the opportunity to wonder what you’re up to.

Everything is predictable.

That my friend is called BORING and that is why she’s probably not attracted to you.

Now you gotta give her space, but giving people space is easier said than done when you’re not engaged fully 100% with your personal purpose in life,

…which must be bigger than yourself and your wife.

And all put together, it has to be bigger than that.

If you’re not connected to yourself spiritually, if you’re not self sustainable from an emotional standpoint, if you don’t have peace of mind by yourself, with or without your wife,

…she’s not going to be attracted to you because she can smell it because you lack confidence.

So it goes back to the third core pillar, which is the SELF.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

Your self sustainability, self sufficiency and self development, you need to work on that.

Those things will give you the opportunity and give you the strength to be able to pull away from her.

Without missing or skipping the beat in your heart but that will allow her to be attracted back to you because remember, you have a history with her.

So if you have the confidence that you have a history with her, then you’ll be able to allow her the time to come back to you.

In that time period, it’s okay, this is your wife.

For you to find out what she is up to?

No, not what she is up to, you don’t really care about what she’s up to but,

…what is up with her?

More like it.

Like if she has other things that she’s worried about, you can ask her provoking questions like,

“What’s going on? Do you have anything you want to share with me, baby? I am just wondering if all is well. We haven’t spoken in a while”.

And then if she completely just turned off and doesn’t wanna have the conversation, again give her space and say “Okay, no problem. I gotta go to bed”.

Don’t act salty.

Don’t act butt hurt.

If you’re acting butt hurt around your wife, that’s another reason why she will lose interest and will be less attracted to you.

Just keep that at the back of your mind as you’re navigating these things.

Let me share with you four things that you probably should worry about it.

Connect with yourself spiritually, self development and things like that.

Connect with your personal purpose, things that you may have wanted to do, your dreams that you’ve lost sight of,

…focus and get back on that because that will soak you up because you’re passionate about those things.

And you’ll find it a lot easier to give her space because the key thing is, you’ve got to give her space so she can miss you again.

That’s something that you should focus on.

The last one is yourself.

Your self sustainability, self respect and self love.

If you don’t love yourself, if you’re not beaming out confidence, she’s not gonna be attracted to you.

That’s something you should keep in mind.

“My Wife DOESN’T Say I LOVE YOU Back”

Question: “My Wife DOESN’T Say I LOVE YOU Back”

If your wife doesn’t say she loves you back there are a couple of things that are happening there.

But first of all, let’s go back to the beginning.

Let’s go back to the root when you guys got together for the first time.

When you started dating did she used to say, “I love you”?

If she used to say I love you and something just happened and then she stopped,

…then we need to address those things that happened.

If you can recall something has happened, I don’t believe you.

You need to dig a little deeper.

Something happened and then she stopped.

First of all, if she used to say I love you but somehow she doesn’t say I love you anymore back to you,

…we need to sort out the issues that happened.

Whatever makes a woman get to a space where she doesn’t feel like saying I love you back,

…it must be really bad.

It takes a lot for a woman to get into that space where she doesn’t say I love you back.

Basically, what’s going on is that she doesn’t feel safe.

She doesn’t feel safe professing the love like that to you any much longer.

So here’s the thing, if she never said that, and then suddenly you just wanna experience a woman saying that back to you,

I would say you have a big thing in front of you that you need to do.

First of all, you need to express that and say, “Hey, how come you never say I love you back?”.

You need to know the answer to that question.

So that’s first of all, communication.

That’s straight up just communication 101 and find out why she doesn’t say that.

She may say “that’s just not what we’re doing in our family”,

…and then you expressed like “I would appreciate that, you know from my family, that’s a big part of our culture. Just say that back to me babe, what’s the big deal” right?

Don’t be too serious, say it in front and love because remember the person that doesn’t say I love you, either they said it before or they’ve never said it before,

…they just don’t feel safe professing that kind of grand gesture to you.

The worst thing you wanna do is to make them feel even worse or make them feel more unsafe.

PREVIOUS POST: “How To Make Your Wife FALL IN LOVE With You AGAIN After Separation?”

You’ve got to make them feel safer, Right?

So it’s a simple conversation in love, in fun, don’t worry too much about it, just express it and say, “Hey babe, you never say I love you back to me” and just shut up.

Just wait and see what they say.

Now if you know some things have gone down, you did some things or she said you did some things and she doesn’t feel safe any longer.

Some kind of crisis happened in your marriage.

She doesn’t say I love you back to you, then the real issues to fix that issue, whatever happened.

And that’s going to take time because it takes time to break down and, by the way, take shorter time to destroy.

It’s gonna take you a little bit longer to build back up.

So focus on the things you need to build because when someone says “I love you” to you, it’s a symptom of how they feel inside.

It’s not the main thing, it’s just how they feel because of everything else that’s right.

If things are wrong, don’t try to force a person to say I love you back, not especially if you’re going to be being defensive or say it in a way that you’re insecure or anything like that.

You want to make sure that you actually never ask a woman to say I love you back to you because if you have to ask them,

…to say I love you back to you, there’s a good chance that they just don’t love you, and it’s just gonna get worse.

It’s gonna turn them off even much more.

So what I will say is that focus on doing things that a woman will receive from you and make them feel like “I love you”.

Focus on finding out what those things are for your wife and focus on that and be stubborn about it.


Now, it’s easier said than done but it gets easier if you’re spiritually strong, if you’re mentally strong,

…If you are engaged with your personal purpose in life and then also if you are actively in self development.

So self sustainability of mentally, self health, self help, self love.

If you have those things, confidence will naturally show out and that’s attractive and those are the things that make a woman say “I love you”.

Now ultimately, if she doesn’t feel safe because of things you’ve done, she will feel safe again but not if you keep reminding her that she doesn’t say I love you back to you.

You need to focus on the things you need to do and be patient, because patience, by itself is very attractive.

When a woman knows that you give them patience, like you’re not overreacting because “I love you”.

If he doesn’t feel like saying I love you right now, that’s just right now.

Maybe tomorrow, that’s just right now still.

Only now is all that exists, don’t worry about everything else.

If she’s doing everything else, it is only a matter of time, just do your part and be a husband and say “I love you”.

Then if she doesn’t say “I love you”, don’t get attached to the outcome because the outcome will come when you earn it.

So again, if somebody’s saying I love you back to you, it’s somebody who feels safe,

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

…if they don’t feel safe for whatever reason, they’re not going to say right now and you get to decide as a human being if that’s a deal breaker for you.

Being decisive as a human being, that’s also attractive so you may say that’s a deal breaker, “if you can’t say I love you back to me, what are we doing” that’s attractive.

If you are decisive don’t just say that I sit out there in the relationship.

But if you know that this is the person you love and you want to give them that kind of patience, then that’s a decision.

Stick with that decision and focus on yourself.

Focus on your personal purpose, focus on yourself and make sure you have a strong spiritual background,

…because you’re gonna need that in the form of patience.

That’s what I have for you on this episode.

The key thing is, don’t worry too much about it.

Focus on building the relationship and everything else shall come to you.

“How To Make Your Wife FALL IN LOVE With You AGAIN After Separation?”

Rough Transcript Below.

First of all, you need to identify,

Do an inventory and write down everything that happened, because you don’t just get here overnight.

Unless you’re deceiving yourself, it didn’t just happen overnight.

She was complaining about a few things even though those things may not be true, it doesn’t matter if it’s true.

It doesn’t matter if it’s right and wrong, but she was complaining about some things before you got to where you got to.

And if you don’t know what those things are, maybe you should have a conversation just to find out what those things are.

Just to listen, not to justify yourself because if you are going to make her fall in love with you again, you’re gonna already justify yourself.

You’re gonna feel justified already.

You don’t need her to validate you, you don’t need to seek approval from her before you feel justified,

…you don’t need any of that.

If you’re gonna attract her back to you, if you’re gonna make her fall in love with you again,

…you need to be confident about your abilities to do exactly that.

How do you become confident?

You don’t become confident by saying “I’m confident”, you show it with your actions.

She gets to judge if you’re confident or not because if you just have confidence, that you are enough.

That you don’t need approval, that you don’t need validation without using your words.

If you just have that and she gets to see that and she gets to be the judge of that, that’s automatic.

That’s basically the equivalence of her fall in love with you again because she will wonder how to help that happen.

But I was saying, basically, you need to outline everything she complained about, that’s number one.

You need to outline everything that you feel like you may have done wrong.

That you feel like you may have been better at, maybe not wrong or right, but better at.

Maybe it’s your conduct, maybe it’s the way you handle yourself,

…maybe is how you show up as a husband, maybe it is because you may have been narcissistic.

You may have shown some insecurities as a man.

A lot of men have insecurities and the way they show that the way it manifests can turn off a woman.

So whatever it is, it may not be insecurity, it may not be any of these psychological things.

It may be literally physical things, maybe you drink a lot or you smoke a lot.

There are things she’s been complaining about.

Maybe about your family, she doesn’t feel like you guys are going in the positive direction when it comes to your financial situation.

Whatever it is that she is complaining about, you need to outline all those things.


You need to write down, take the time to do that.

Now let’s focus on emotion because 90% of what happened, is probably emotional.

There’s a way you have been showing up.

If you apologize too much, stop apologizing,

…If you never apologize, it may be time to tender an apology.

Your apology does not necessarily have to be about something in particular.

It could be simply “I apologize for the part I played in the breakdown of our relationship”.

She may think that’s manipulative, if she thinks that’s manipulative there’s a good chance that you’ve apologized too much in the past.

But if she’s hearing an apology for the first time from you ever, she’s going to value that.

That doesn’t mean she’s gonna just fall in love immediately with you.

Time has to play a role in this, patience has to play a role on this.

I mean patience to the point that you will almost give up.

So in other words, you need to have Infinite Patience.

TRENDING: 5 Tips to Stop Divorce after Separation📍⁉️ ❤️

How do you have infinite patience?

Well, you have to have a purpose driven life, things that kind of take your time,

…take your mind away from the situation with your marriage and your relationship authentically.

If you’re just pretending to take your mind off of it, it won’t work.

You need a purpose driven life, you need to find a purpose.

That’s your personal purpose in life, that’s bigger than your wife and yourself,

…something bigger than life.

That thing must be time and energy consuming enough to take you away and then you have to deliberately say, “you know what, let me check on my wife. Let me see how she’s doing” and simply just checking on her.

Especially if you’ve never done that in the past.

If you’ve done that way too much, you need to back off.

See whatever you’ve always done, do the opposite especially the emotional things so that she can start to wonder what is going on with you.

Are you growing or are you moving in a different direction?

The keyword is “wonder”.

She needs to wonder about you, if he doesn’t wonder about you or what you’re up to, that’s basically the opposite of attraction.

She cannot fall in love with something that she’s already familiar with especially if she considers it negative.

So if I’m gonna leave you one thing in this video,

Outline, do an inventory of everything especially the emotional stuff that you’ve always done, and flip it.

When you flip it you will create a newness, you will create a spark.

You will create something exciting and brand new, and she will start to wonder,

…and then you need to add time and patience onto that and in addition to that, your personal purpose, you cannot pretend to be patient.

If you try to pretend to be patient it will backfire and the next time you have an episode, It’s gonna make things worse.

And then she will move further away from you, especially emotionally.

So, how to make your wife fall in love with you again after separation?

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

She needs something new and exciting and you’re capable of doing it because it’s probably attached to your personal growth, too.

So with that being said, make sure you download the book “Get My Marriage Back”.

You need to read it 10 to 15 times so that you can put our story behind, you can relate, you can see all the lessons in it and you can see the lessons of attraction.

The attachment that you may be exercising, you may have been showing some level of unhealthy attachment in your relationship,

…and you’ll be able to identify that because of the stories that we tell in the book.

10 to 15 times, you need to read it because you need to be able to teach it in your dream in order to answer your question,

How to make your wife fall in love with you again after separation?

But that’s the tip right there, do the opposite of everything you’ve done.

And I’m not talking about the right and wrong stuff, that has nothing to do with the breakdown of your marriage.

It’s purely emotional, and you can do it.

Hopefully you have been enlightened and educated.

I’ll see you on the next one and peace.

“Does My Wife MISS ME During SEPARATION?”

Question: “Does My Wife MISS ME During SEPARATION?”

It depends, but let me give you the different nuances.

Separation in my opinion, it’s always a good thing.

If you find yourself in a place or at least one person finding himself in a place where they’re asking for separation, that’s actually a good thing.

I know it’s in a twisted weird way, it’s a good thing because what is the worst or what is the alternative?

The alternative is that you’ll live in a toxic marriage.

Yes, you may not see it coming, especially as men.

Usually if your wife asks you for separation, you don’t see it coming because we tend to be oblivious to the reality of what’s going on emotionally in the relationship.

We tend to become complacent.

Most people become complacent in the relationship period, not just men,

…but men, a lot of us don’t see it when it’s coming.

It’s usually extremely shocking, I mean it’s a terrible thing to hear that your wife wants separation,

…especially if she wants divorce, that she wants to separate from you.

That’s a painful and terrible thing to experience.

We, my wife and I went through something like that.

Some people suggest trial separation, some people suggest separation in the same house, which is kind of weird.

We did, we went through separation in the same house, but it wasn’t intentional.

I felt like if it’s intentional, if we kind of decided we wanted to do that, that would be weird and probably wouldn’t work.

But we kind of became roommates during our 9th year in marriage.

We’re just roommates, basically.

We did that obviously because of our kids and their many reasons why people do things like that,

…But separation is what we’re talking about.

Does my wife miss me during separation?


The straightforward answer to that is, Yes they will,

…but it also depends on the extent of the damage that your marriage and relationship, especially your relationship with your wife.

It depends on the extent of the damages that you may have created knowingly, mostly unknowingly.

Most people don’t just be in the marriage and say, “Hey, I wanna damage the relationship”.

Most people are just being people right, good people.

Good people who are oblivious, they think they are the greatest person in the world, they think they came from a great family.

They think they have been perfect, it’s just always the other person’s fault.

Most people on both sides feel that same way, but that’s the thing with emotions.

That’s the thing with relationships, it’s not about right and wrong.

It’s not about who knows how to do it the best.

For the most part it’s about emotional intelligence.

So now let’s stick to the emotions.

Let’s stick to the psychology of a relationship.

TRENDING: Trying To Save Marriage Wife Said It’s Too Late? ❤️ Try this 3 “UNUSUAL” Tricks

Will a person who used to spend a lot of time with you, miss you during separation?

Yes, of course.

…But it also depends on how toxic that relationship was.

If they separated from you, meaning they go to the other side, they go to the greener,

…you know how they say, “the grass is not always greener on the other side”.

That’s not always true.

Sometimes that relationship was so toxic, that the grass was actually greener on the other side.

For the most part, No the grass is not greener on the other side.

Every relationship you get into will have its own issues and will be completely new and will create a shock,

That’s why I said separation for the most part, 99% of the time is not a bad thing.

It’s like “distance makes the heart go fonder”, that’s a saying.

That’s a cliche, which is true that distance makes the heart fonder, so you want to allow it.

If somebody is asking for separation, they’re asking for space and time, that’s exactly what you wanna give them.

You know why?

Because they will miss you.

Especially if you are emotionally centered yourself that you’re in that space that is actually okay with you, for them to take that time.

Sometimes it’s not just full blown separation from your marriage.

Sometimes they’re just asking for a trip with their girlfriends.

Yeah, that may be shocking to you from where you came from, your family, your culture,

…it may be completely a taboo that a wife would ask for time to go spend with friends in Cancun.

Somewhere it may be crazy to your head because of your background, but that very same thing could be detrimental to your marriage and relationship.

You wanna basically love in the way that the other person feels free.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

So the real question is that, will my wife miss me during separation?


Does your wife miss you right now during separation?

You are asking meaning you are already in separation and you’re asking if your wife misses you.

Yes, but here’s the kicker, you wanna be patient.

You don’t want to say “hey, because she missed me, let me pick up the phone and start calling them right now”.

Wrong move.

If she checked out and she asked for separation, you wanna wait for proper signs.

I did another video on the signs that your wife is ready to reconcile during separation.

So you wanna make sure you wait for the signs.

You wanna make sure that the around you wanna make sure that is natural.

Because again, love has to feel natural.

Even though you’re deliberately, you have to get to a place, eventually your marriage,

…where you’re deliberately loving somebody, you learn the actual act of loving a person.

You want to make sure it still feels like a feeling, because that’s attraction, right?

If it feels forced, it’s gonna backfire, it’s gonna work completely against you.