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If this happened to you, you are probably feeling rejected and unwanted.
…but you need to understand what just happened deeply and not just on the surface.
The easy thing that most people do is feel like a victim and therefore lose complete control of the situation.
They get defensive, insecure and make their spouse out to be the bad guy or gal who just wants to be cruel.
But it’s deeper than that and you can be in more control than you feel right now; getting angry and defensive will perpetuate the situation.
What can you do when your wife continuously keeps denying you sex?
When you get sex from her, it’s always after pleading.
The first step is to back off for a while because it is unlikely that she is wanting to punish you.
If that was the case, that would also mean that she is denying herself… doesn’t make sense.
If she wants to have sex with you, she would also be punishing herself in order to punish you.
There is more to what is happening, so as a 2nd step backing off…
find out what is going on emotionally and psychologically.
If you do get sex after pleading ONLY, that also means you are not enjoying the full experience of intimate sex with your spouse.
That’s not healthy because eventually, you may start resenting your spouse.
What should a husband do when his wife refuses to have sex?
STEP 1 – Back up from asking for sex.
STEP 2 – Find out what the underlying issues are using effective listening.
Do wives deny their husbands sex as a form of manipulation?
There are a 2 ideal and simultaneous reasons why wives have sex with with their husbands.
1 – Desire: Wives have sex with a husband they desire sexually; they desire sex and desire the husband sexually.
So using sex to manipulate would also means that they are inflicting pain in themselves.
2 – Gift: It can also represent a form of gift to a person they (you guessed it) DESIRE.
Sex as a duty is not one of the reasons why wives have sex with their husbands.
I understand many religions and cultures around the world have deemed it conjugal rights…
But numerous studies and careful observations have revealed that people enjoy it only when there is free will DESIRE, and that’s regardless of marital status.
By default, “not desiring to have sex with spouse” is usually not relevant to manipulation.
Why would a woman refuse sex from her husband? Why is my wife denying me sex?
It could be due to an array of multiple different reasons like trust, betrayal, medical, emotional and etc … reasons.
Take the time to find out and approach your seduction moves from that angle.
Wife rejection syndrome is real but you may have more strength than you think to not just be patient but seduce her back into your harms; desire is a necessary ingredient.
What does the Bible say about a wife denying her husband?
Here is the what the bible says in the book of 1 Corinthians 7:3-5
“Then they may have sex with each other in the right way.
A husband should agree to have sex with his wife.
And the wife should do the same thing for her husband.
The wife does not rule over her own body to decide when to have sex.
She belongs to her husband.
In the same way, the husband does not rule over his own body.
He belongs to his wife.
Do not refuse to have sex with each other, unless both of you agree to stop for a short time.
Then you can use more time to pray.
But you should come together again soon, as husband and wife.
If not, Satan may try to make you do something wrong.
You may want too strongly to have sex with someone else.”
This is one of those verses in the bible that needs deeper interpretation than just face-value misogynistic interpretation.
Sure there is a direct instruction, “do not…”
But all those rules fly out the window when you start hearing crazy voices in your head when sex is proposed from a spouse you’ve lost desire for.
So referencing all those bible verses will only come off as manipulative; it will even kill attraction further.
When a man rejects you sexually…
The same rule applies.
The truth is that the dynamics may be slightly different.
But you should pay attention to the “not so obvious” underlying reasons.
Defensiveness, overreaction and neediness will only make matters worse.
How often should a wife please her husband?
She should please her husband every time he wants but just because she should doesn’t mean she would.
And it doesn’t mean, she will or she will be capable of pleasing him.
Why does my wife refuse to be intimate with me?
When she wants to be cruel and wicked… but I am just kidding.
There are many underlying issues under the categories medical and mental that can make your wife refuse to be intimate with you.
The first step is to find out what the underlying issues are; that process requires patience.
Why am I not enough sexually for my husband?
There is an assumption of guilt there but it probably has very little to do with you.
Likewise, it won’t be wise to assume context as it would matter in determining the right strategy to attract your husband again.
Is it Wise to Deny Your Husband Sex?
This morning, I saw this post below posted on Facebook and I thought we should discuss.
“If you deny your husband sex, you are not wise. Bang him when things are wrong. That’s how to handle marriage. Can I get a witness?”
I am not sure if this was an advice or what…
Whatever it is (don’t deny your husband sex) is terrible and I will tell you why…
When you are married to a person that (hopefully) you are sexually attracted to, you wouldn’t want to deny them sex because…
That would also mean denying yourself the sex… as well.
So it doesn’t make sense.
However, if your spouse breaks trust, it can make you lose sexual attraction towards them… which means you despise sex.
That’s where the topic came from.
“Despise vs Deny Sex?!?!!?”
In fact, they asked a lady if she would consider denying her husband of sex if he cheated?
She answered/asked… “Who did I offend?”
It’s very important to know the difference between these 2 because it will determine your strategy to seducing your spouse back again.
If you feel that your spouse denied you sex, you will build resentments and you will react accordingly which will further make them despise sex with you.
On the flip side, when you realize that attraction is simply low, you will naturally focus on learning how to seduce him/her back into your harms.
So no wife or husband is sitting around looking to denied themselves of good sex that they also want… may be they just don’t want to have sex.
Sex may be a duty but it feels terribly wrong as a duty to at least one of the parties when it’s done as a duty or chore.
It feels a lot better when you do it because you want it… in fact, that’s the point.
Majority of people that accuse wives of denying husband of sex in a crisis have completely missed it…
They miss the part where she just doesn’t want to have sex because of the underlying issues.
And it is in fact manipulative and unreasonable to use guilt to get someone to do it when they don’t want it.
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LOLA & OLA
P.S. There is no such thing as a spouse denying his/her partner of sex; he/she either want to or despise having sex with the partner.
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