QUESTION - “Can I save my marriage to a narcissistic husband? I’ve been married to a narcissist for 10 years. I want my best friend back.”
First of all, any side of a marriage (husband or wife) can show narcissistic traits and it’s important to note that. In fact, the accuser may very well be the narcissistic one.
Many accusers point the fingers as a reflection of what they can relate to, especially when they can have their way. That’s also not always true.
How To Deal With A Narcissistic Husband
If your husband is showing signs that he doesn’t care about your feelings, there is a good chance that you are indirectly enabling it. People only treat you the way you allow them to treat you.
The first thing you need to do is to calm down and then start observing parts of your behavior that’s creating that dynamics.
By first staying calm, that will naturally throw him off because he is probably used to one way that you react. You can essentially and effectively pass the anxiety that you are feeling over to him.
7 Effects Of Being Married To A Narcissist
1) You can lose yourself
2) You can lose your freedom
3) You can lose your freedom of expression
4) You can lose attraction for your spouse
5) Your spouse can lose respect for you
6) Your spouse can’t love you without having respect for you.
7) You will resent each other.
Fighting With/Arguing With/How To Argue With A Narcissistic Husband
Arguments are 100% destructive in relationships, especially marriage. It may initially (or in the middle of it) feel ok but it will slowly destroy attraction of one or both sides.
There are distinct differences between healthy conversations, disagreements and arguments. Therefore arguing with a “narcissistic” husband is not a solution.
In fact, stopping the habit of arguments may abruptly change your husband’s narcissistic behavior as he will start wondering about the reason for your sudden change in behavior.
Avoid arguing with your husband. To replace that, start learning communication 2.0. It’s a whole chapter in the book “Get My Marriage Back”. It’s FREE.
Am I Married To A Narcissist? Quiz
Do you feel that:
1) He doesn’t listen?
2) He doesn’t care?
3) He doesn’t your dream?
4) He shuts you down?
5) He thinks little of you?
6) He acts like your father?
7) He thinks your opinions are invalid?
If you are feeling at least 4 of the 7 things are above, you should probably start learning how to bring your broken marriage back to life.
Feeling that way is evidence that something is not right and if your leave it unaddressed, you will build more resentments.
How To Talk To A Narcissistic Husband
Let them talk and wait till he asks for your response. In addition to that, repeat everything he said back to him as a way to prove to yourself that you were listening.
Take the time to process what he said and reassess if you still feel he is narcissistic.
If you do this, I guarantee his attraction towards you will grow and he will show very likely before you are processing what he was saying.
How Do Narcissists Stay Married?
The only way this is possible is when the spouse has given up on the idea of a blissful marriage. Sometimes, women would do that to maintain a family unity for their children.
In fact, it’s possible to not deal with a disrespectful spouse and still maintain a home for the children. I suggest learning the fundamentals inside the book “Get My Marriage Back” to figure that out. It’s FREE.
Narcissism, Marriage And Divorce on many occasions go together unfortunately. But it’s important it’s a very unhealthy way of living life.
Saving A Marriage With A Narcissist
The first step is to stop the bleeding by changing your usual way of responding the you interactions, arguments and fighting with your husband.
If he had approached you with this behavior during your initial dating, how would you respond? I’m guessing you would respond like someone who has self respect right?
This is not to blame you for another adult’s bad behavior.
In fact, I am trying to expose the amount of control that you still and will always have by learning how to build attraction with reverse psychology. Switch it completely on him and watch him come running begging.
Take the time away from your usual response to building yourself, your self respect and self development.
You will be needing it more to facilitate a healthy marriage. If you were ever in love together, you can single handedly save your marriage. May be he is not as narcissistic as you feel now.