ACCOUNTABILITY vs RESPONSIBILITY – “If I Have To Protect You, Why Can’t I Hold You Accountable.”

ACCOUNTABILITY vs RESPONSIBILITY – “If I Have To Protect You, Why Can’t I Hold You Accountable?” 

Wow.  I won’t call this a stupid question even though I should.  But I’ll tell you why you can’t hold her accountable.  You lack self respect.

And the worst thing about it is that you are perpetuating it right now. It’s a competition.  It’s a contest.  It’s transactional.  You’ve made yourself equal to the woman… she’s not even your woman.

But then I should calm down because it’s all YouTube panels and should not be conflicted with a romantic relationship.

CAP.  Sadly… Many young men are taking these conversations back to their romantic relationships in attempts to hold a woman accountable.  And it’s failing.

Anything I say in my lessons is easier said than done.  But they are highly rewarding when you figure it out.

Thank you so much for being here.  Please support the channel by hitting the like button, sharing the video and more importantly, sharing your thoughts and engaging in the comment area below.

In this lesson, we will answer questions and cover things like:

1. Do Females Lack Accountability?

2. Accountability vs Responsibility

3. Accountability vs Blame In Relationships & Marriage

4. 5 Signs of Lack of Accountability In Relationships & Marriage

5. Relationship Accountability Spectrum

As we speak, there are tons of conversations going on reddit and various social media platforms around the idea that accountability is a woman’s kryptonite.

Is that true?

In fact, the memes are endless.  The manosphere talking points around women’s lack of accountability is likewise endless.

For example, I just read one women accountability meme that says… and I quote…

“60% of women cheat but 85% of the time it is the man’s fault.  Women tend to cheat because they are not being loved properly or they have been feeling lonely for a long period of time in a relationship and so they lean on another male for support and accidentally have sex with them.”

As you know, this is a platform where we hold ourselves as men accountable particularly to facilitate personal growth with respect to relationships.

Weak men think of it as pandering.  

“Ola.. stop shaming men.”

One of the push back I get this most is…

“So it’s always a man’s fault?” 

Here is another meme joke I read… I guess a woman saying

“Whatchu mean I don’t have no accountability? 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10! See I have the ability to count.”

That is funny… You will also hear things like…

“Women demand equality except when they get special treatment for being a woman.”

Some even say

“Not only are they not held accountable, if a male is involved, he’s held accountable for her actions!”

Well, when a man has not heard me long enough, it’s easy for him to say that I am holding him accountable for a woman’s actions.

Never that!  But I could hold you accountable for not leaving and disengaging any conversation with her if she’s such a bad person.  That is your action or lack there-of.

The talking points are endless.  Here is another one.

“Y’all are both drunk and have sex. The male is held accountable.” 

This one is obviously a generalization and you know how I feel about those.

And another one.  

“A girl flirts with a guy at work and the guy decides to go for it.  The guy gets fired.” 

Okay. So the society protects the most vulnerable first, children, then women before we get to the men in a society that has men, women and children… no aliens.

Where is the surprise here again? 

Are we still talking about accountability for women and you are running from accountability?

running from accountability

“You both decide to get married but then the woman doesn’t want to be married anymore and wants a divorce. The man has to pay alimony to women.”  

80% of divorces are initiated by women.  Congrats.  You passed your data, facts and stats test.  Now.. let’s get back into the real world.

I am guessing this is the part where we will all pretend that there is nothing between getting married and the divorce.  It’s all vacuum.  Right?

Let’s do one more.

“You both have sex and she gets pregnant. She’s not going to be the one paying child support for the next 18yrs. You are.”  

Again…. Gross generalization at best.  

It’s just hard to come up with healthy solutions when you spend so much energy on (I won’t call it complaining even though it is.) generalizations, blaming, shaming and insults.

At that point, you now have to sell me harder on the idea that you in particular don’t hate accountability as well.

Does this sound like caping for women to you already?

If it does, I understand.  That’s what being held accountable feels like.

But let’s reason together if we call ourselves men.  Another one of the talking points is thinking of a man and taking away reason and accountability in order to spell “women”.

I am just being brutally honest and maybe you are stuck on the brutality of it.  But I have to show you the reality and flash your results in your face… the only source of objective truth.

Let me repeat that.  The only source of objective truth is reality, time and results.  Everything else is an opinion based on old data. 

So Do Females Lack Accountability?

So Do Females Lack Accountability?

I have to be honest in that there are lots of half-truths to all the examples and accusations of lack of accountability on women’s part.

But guess who is responsible for that?  You guess that right.  Whichever side of the gender wants to lead the society is responsible for that.

That’s the reality.

But again… women and accountability in a romantic context don’t mix and I don’t think they are supposed to mix… especially when there is no vision and order.

…especially not from a blame standpoint.  I know there is a difference between blame and accountability but I know what blame sounds like.

It sounds exactly like when you claim you are holding women accountable.  Am I pandering here… whatever…. 

nature of romantic relationships

Due to the nature of romantic relationships…

The feminine energy is responsible for the chaotic and creative beauty that attracts us as men while the masculine energy is responsible for the structure, security, safety and order.

That’s what creates sexual polarity, the in-love experience and if you can manage it on a day-to-day basis long enough… 30 to 40 years from now, incels will call you lucky.

Outside of romance or anything affected or influenced by romance, women are held accountable all the time for their actions at work, in society, when they get pregnant and even on a month-to-month basis just for being women.

Accountability Vs Responsibility

You can at least agree that the leader is responsible for the state of any context; society or romantic and individual levels. Right?

I found 3 dictionary meanings but I will use two of them for context and application. Dictionary meanings are terrible for relationships on face value.

1. The opportunity or ability to act independently and make decisions without authorization.

2. The state or fact of being accountable or to blame for something.

So we have authority but at the cost of being exposed to blame.

This is the reality.  

And so for those who want to hide under the canopy of a need to rebuild the community, you should know that the focus on blame and shame will defeat the purpose because you will effectively be pointing back at self.

Besides, I personally think every “women accountability talk” around building communities “is cap”.  I’d rather we particularize it.

“Why do women hate being accountable when it comes to interactions with YOU?”  That’s a better question with better chances of getting to an answer.

We will continue with… “Accountability Vs Blame In Relationships & Marriage in Part 2”

The Assertive Wife (The Pro & 3 Cons)

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Is being assertive more attractive to a husband?

So my husband ended up on our sister… Aunty Bridget’s platform; Obodo Oyinbo TV.  She was discussing “Lack of Eligible Bachelors in the Diaspora.” 

Though the discussion took a whole new turn in the direction of why it’s absolutely single women’s fault in this time and age for having a hard time finding eligible and competent husbands, one of the highlights was the ladies trying to sell the idea of the assertive wife.

What really happened?

So one of the highlights of that debate was the assertive wife.  What does it mean to be assertive?  

The definition from Oxford as displayed on Google says “having or showing a confident and forceful personality.”

Those are two things.

1. Having or showing a confident personality.

2. Having or showing a forceful personality.

Can you see why dictionary meanings are a terrible guide to romantic relationships and marriage just as much as common sense is?

Yes.  They are usually full of assumptions, presumptions and often reflect only one side of reality.  

In romantic relationships and marriage, the reality is that there are at least two realities because the parties tend to experience the relationship differently.

So being assertive will always have two sides to it.

Yurp! I was listening in the background at first as they debated if being assertive is an attractive trait for a woman… especially a woman who wants to become a wife.

There was some confusion with regards to if some of these women truly want to be wives or not.  When I hear people say things like “not all women want to be married” or “I’m not desperate to marry”, it leaves me with… okayyyyyyy….. 

YES! While no one should be desperate to marry, single people also have to be careful with indirectly planning not to marry if the reality is far from what is being expressed.

What is being said by you as a quote on quote “Assertive People” can absolutely steal your chances of true joy… not just marriage but in general even if you have no bad intentions.

While certain statements can be true, I would be left to wonder why anyone who does not want to be married or feel like they don’t have to be married would be involved so passionately in conversations about marriage.

Just a question… 

NEWSFLASH:  She flirted with me… but she did not TOAST me… 

And I promise it was the sexiest thing ever because it felt like confidence.  

The worst thing ever is a low self-esteem woman, wife or wife-to-be with symptoms revealing itself as a concoction of assertiveness and just being plain rI could be wrong but I would bet that this mindset will help repel the manifestation of a husband or marriage.  Our mindset as humans has its way of becoming our reality.

Exactly! That could very much be a disadvantage of being an assertive person. 

CON #1 – The Blurry Line Between An Assertive & A Bluntly Rude & Disrespectful Wife.

Bluntly Rude & Disrespectful Wife.

There are many assertive wives with good intentions mixed with a little frustration but low levels of emotional intelligence.  

Their actions showcase more of how they feel inside more so than their words which only showcases a stronghold of an opinion… even asserting an honest opinion does not necessarily equals the absence of a disrespectful attitude.

Oftentimes, there is a disconnect between our feelings and our expressed opinions.

It’s not necessarily the intentions.  Just something to be self-aware of especially when it comes to romantic relationships.

CON #2 – The most innocent form of hypocrisy.

Innocent assertiveness doesn’t guarantee that a honest well-intent husband or husband-to-be will not receive your well-intent assertions as disrespectful; these are emotions.

innocent form of hypocrisy.

What else did they talk about?

They talked about flirting and many of the ladies were confusing flirting with coming off as easy and desperate.  

Ladies… If you want us to share some flirting tips where you don’t have to come off as desperate to a man… you can request in the comment area.

CON #3 – Assertiveness is Great Place to Conceal Low Self-Esteem

Yes! I understand assertiveness is supposedly “a healthy way of communicating and the ability to speak up for ourselves in a way that is honest and respectful.”

That’s cute.  That’s the intention part of it.  A romantic partner you care about, because of reasons beyond you, can receive it as disrespectful.

You will put yourself as a disadvantage if you argue with this.  

Sure you can say that’s their problem.  But because this is a romantic relationship and not a contest or a competition, that becomes your problem by default too.

It’s not your fault.  It’s just an emotional dynamic you are better off being aware of.

Is this insecurity on an intimidated man’s part?

Conceal Low Self-Esteem

Yes!  And that’s not a crime.  All humans have insecurity and we are never 100% secure in ourselves.  Insecurity is like our shadow.  We can’t run from it.

What we don’t want is an unhealthy level of insecurity, indications being consistent revelation in many aspects of a controlling and abusive relationship.  This is best addressed with the help of a counselor and not by running from it.

If anything, it can also be a powerful thing, a point of leverage and seduction to know that the way you move as a woman and a wife can start to make your man feel mildly insecure.

But yes… too much of it will make you feel unsafe as a woman.

True.  A lot of women tend to look at insecure men as intimidated.  It can be dangerous rhetoric and here is why.  

It means you are starting to look at the man as weak.  Most women are not attracted to weak men even if it’s ordinarily a perspective and not reality.

While you can feel like you dodge a bullet avoiding an insecure man if you are in the wife-to-be stage, you are going to end up feeling not-so-lucky when your future husband gets hit with an inevitable life crisis.

That makes a man question himself and his manhood.  A symptom of that is insecurity and it’s not always obvious it’s not about you or your fault.

If you are inclined to accuse him of being intimidated, you will then make things worse for you as a couple and your marriage.

You can help destroy your marriage just like that.

True! For many of us women, there is nothing sexier than an assertive husband who can speak up for himself in a loving and respectful way.  

I don’t care how truthful and honest you are.  If it feels like evil to me, you go collect.

Wortorwotor! So a well-intent assertive wife does not come off as a respectful wife.  But it can also reflect confidence in a man and confidence is always sexy.

It’s not about the semantics of being assertive.  It’s about how your husband or husband-to-be is receiving you emotionally on the other end of the romance from a reasonable standpoint.

With that being said, some men are coming from terrible experiences and are actively looking for disrespect unintentionally so they will find the slightest confidence or assertiveness as disrespectful.

These things are to be handled case-by-case.  Avoid generalizations.  You and I would agree that a forceful personality in the name of assertiveness just doesn’t sound pleasant.

There are 21 verses that describe a wife of noble character in Proverb 31.  It’s fair that one word “assertive” has its limitations.

Stages of Divorce Grief

What are the Stages of Divorce Grief?

The stages of divorce grief are similar to the stages of grief that occur when someone dies.

The stages are shock and disbelief, pain and sorrow, anger and resentment, bargaining and guilt, and acceptance and hope. The order in which the stages occur may vary from person to person.

Some people may skip some of the stages or move through them more quickly than others.

It is important to allow yourself to grieve the loss of your marriage and not try to rush through the process.

1. Shock and disbelief: This is often the first stage after learning that your divorce is final. You may feel numb, have difficulty processing what has happened, and experience many other emotions, including sadness, anger, fear, and relief.

2. Pain and sorrow: As the reality of your divorce sets in, you will likely experience deep feelings of loss and grief.

You may find yourself crying often, feeling depressed, and struggling to cope with the changes in your life.

3. Anger and resentment: It is common to feel a range of negative emotions during this stage, including anger, bitterness, resentment, and frustration. You may lash out at your former spouse, friends, and family members.

4. Bargaining and guilt: During this stage, you may find yourself trying to negotiate with your former spouse or hoping for a reconciliation. You may also feel guilty about the divorce and blame yourself for the situation.

5. Acceptance and hope: In this final stage, you accept that the divorce is final and begin to move on with your life.

You may still feel sad and miss your former spouse, but you are able to start rebuilding your life. You may also feel hopeful about the future and find new meaning in your life.

Tips on Coping with Separation and Divorce

1. Recognize That Your Marriage Is Over: This can be difficult to accept, but it is an important step in the grieving process. Once you come to terms with the fact that your marriage is over, you can begin to move on.

2. Be Patient — Grief Takes Time: The stages of grief do not always happen in a linear fashion. You may move back and forth between stages or even skip some altogether.

3. Surround Yourself With People Who Support You — And Let Them Help: It can be helpful to talk to friends and family members who have gone through a divorce. They can offer guidance and support.

4. Practice Excellent Self-Care: During this difficult time, it is important to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Make sure to eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly.

5. Feel Your Feelings: It is normal to feel a range of emotions after your divorce. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of your marriage.

6. Find Out What’s There Besides Anger, Sadness, And Fear: As you move through the grieving process, you may find that you have new insights about yourself and your life. Allow yourself to explore these new perspectives.

7. Timebox Your Grief: Set aside specific times each day to grieve the loss of your marriage. This can help you to avoid becoming overwhelmed by your emotions.

8. Don’t Hide Your Divorce Grief From Your Kids (But Don’t Freak Them Out, Either)

It is important, to be honest with your children about your divorce. However, you should avoid sharing too much information or putting them in the middle of the situation.

9. Write It Out, Work It Out, Or Just plain Talk It Out: Journaling, therapy, and talking to friends and family members can all be helpful ways to cope with your divorce.

10. Stop Blaming Your Ex and Start Forgiving Them (and Yourself) One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to let go of any resentment and blame you may feel. This can be difficult, but it is an essential part of healing.

11. Remember: You Will Still Be a Part of Your Kid’s Life Even After Divorce Although your family may be changing, you will still be an important part of your children’s lives. Try to maintain a positive relationship with your former spouse for the sake of your kids.

12. Consider Professional Help Many people find it helpful to seek out professional help during the divorce process. A therapist can provide support and guidance as you navigate this difficult time.

If you are facing divorce, it is important to understand the grieving process. By recognizing the stages of grief, you can better prepare yourself for the journey ahead.

Remember, every divorce is unique and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. If you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to seek out professional help. With time and patience, you will eventually reach the acceptance and hope stage.

Don’t Suppress Your Feelings While Grieving

Everyone is different and everyone can experience each one of these stages very differently. Allowing yourself the freedom to grieve during a divorce doesn’t make you weak.  In fact, it can actually make you stronger. If you try to bottle up your emotions, they may eventually come out in destructive ways. It’s okay to cry, be angry, and feel sad. These are all normal reactions to loss.

Divorce is a process, not an event. Just as there is no one right way to grieve the death of a loved one, there is no one right way to grieve the loss of a marriage. Allow yourself the time and space to experience all the emotions that come with this major life change. Seek out support from friends and family members, or consider professional help if you need it. With time and patience, you will eventually reach the acceptance and hope stage.

Coping With the Hard Feelings

Coping with grief during a divorce is exceedingly difficult. Feeling all the emotions mentioned in each stage during the process of divorce is common and necessary for moving forward. It is important to surround yourself with people that love you and support you to help you through this painful time. If you are feeling lost, consider professional counseling to help you regain a sense of self and hope for the future.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Signs That Your Husband is Cheating

Ladies, few things in life feel worse than the nagging suspicion that your husband is cheating on you………other than to find out that’s actually the case.

There are a ton of little telltale signs that you may be able to spot that will start your womanly radar ticking.

Some of your man’s actions may end up being innocent enough, but at other times, where there’s smoke, there could be infidelity fire.

Cheating can be in the mind only, purely emotional, or physical, or a combination of all three.

Just like every marriage is different, so too is every case of cheating.

We won’t quote statistics, but studies show that a lot of men (and women for that matter) do contemplate cheating in some way at some point. It’s one way to explain why the nation’s divorce rate currently hovers at around 50 percent.

So, no matter what your degree of suspicion is when it comes to your husband and what’s in his mind, there are a number of things to keep an eye out for.

Don’t take them as gospel by themselves that cheating is going on, but if you see a lot of what follows in your marriage, it may be time for the “we need to talk” intervention.

Frustration in the marriage is one common trigger; the cheater may make several attempts to solve problems to no avail.

Maybe they had second thoughts about getting married or they were jealous over the attention given to a new baby and neither had the skill set to communicate these feelings.

Perhaps the straying spouse has childhood baggage — neglect, abuse, or a parent who cheated — that interferes with his or her ability to maintain a committed relationship.

Less often, the cheater doesn’t value monogamy, lacks empathy, or simply doesn’t care about the consequences.

We will take a look at a number of risk factors and causes for cheating, but it’s important to point out upfront that a partner doesn’t cause their spouse to cheat. Whether it was a cry for help, an exit strategy, or a means to get revenge after being cheated on themselves, the cheater alone is responsible for cheating.

1. He’s suddenly very interested in his appearance.

If your husband was previously indifferent to his appearance and is now spending more time than usual on his hair and clothes, it could be a sign that he’s trying to impress someone else.

He may also be working out more, or paying more attention to his grooming habits in general.

2. He’s working longer hours or taking more business trips.

If your husband’s work schedule has suddenly changed and he’s spending more time at the office or going on more business trips, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be using work as an excuse to meet someone else or to spend time away from home.

3. He’s become more distant and withdrawn.

If your husband is suddenly acting distant and withdrawn, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be less interested in talking to you or spending time with you. He may also seem preoccupied and distracted when you are together.

he’s cheating. He may be buying gifts for someone else, or he may be paying for activities that he wouldn’t normally spend money on.

4. He’s being secretive and evasive.

If your husband is being secretive and evasive, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be hiding his phone or computer from you, or deleting texts and emails without reading them.

He may also be reluctant to share information about his whereabouts or who he’s been spending time with.

5. He’s got a new group of friends.

If your husband has suddenly started hanging out with a new group of friends, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be spending more time with them than with you, or he may be secretive about who they are and what they do together.

6. He’s acting differently around you.

If your husband is acting differently around you, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be more critical of you, or he may be more distant and withdrawn.

He may also seem more interested in sex, or he may be less interested in sex.

7. He’s spending more money than usual.

If your husband is spending more money than usual, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be buying gifts for someone else, or he may be paying for activities that he wouldn’t normally spend money on.

8. What are those charges on the credit card?

If you monitor your monthly credit card statements and you start to see things pop up that you don’t recognize, they may be harmless, or they could be signs of monkey business that’s afoot.

If you can’t match up the expense with the story, that’s a problem. Also, if he’s now paying in cash for things that used to be charged, that’s a money monkey business concern as well.

9. He wants you to stop doing nice things for him.

Sometimes known as the Catholic guilt syndrome. If you’re being kind and considerate, as relationships should be, it could be revving up the conflict in him if he’s thinking about cheating or already doing so.

10. Cheat on me once, shame on you. Cheat on me twice, shame on me.

A spouse who has cheated in the past and gotten caught is more likely to think they can get away by doing a better job of cheating the second time around. If your spouse has a history of cheating, and you suspect cheating is happening again, it may be time to make that spouse a part of your history instead.

Why Do Husbands Cheat?

There are a lot of reasons that husbands cheat on their wives. Sometimes it has to do with the husband’s own insecurities or feeling like he isn’t good enough for his wife.

Sometimes cheating is a way to get revenge after an argument or disagreement. And sometimes, husbands cheat simply because they’re curious or they want to experience something new.

Rules of No Contact

What is the No Contact Rule?

The No Contact Rule is a commonly recommended solution to various problems in the immediate aftermath of a breakup. This is a time when emotions can run high and fluctuate wildly, so it is often a good time for some distance between you and your ex. This can help you take some time to think about what it is you really want.

The rule is commonly set at 30 days, although it can be shorter in some cases or even go on permanently in others. During this time, ex-partners may avoid all forms of contact, whether face-to-face or over the phone, text, or social media. Some couples may even block each other on social media sites.

The specific rules can vary among different people, but the key feature is limiting communication.

How To Start No Contact?

If you have been contacting your ex regularly since the breakup, the best way to start no contact is to just stop contacting them.

If your ex has been initiating contact with you on and off, you should let them know that you intend to take some space from them and that you want them to stop contacting you for a while. You should be honest about why you are doing this, that is, to help you heal from the breakup and get some perspective.

The signs that the No Contact Rule is working might be confusing. You are unlikely to see all of these signs, but more than one or two may well signal that things are working out the way you would like.

1. You get a text from your ex

Of course, if you suddenly get a text from your ex, he has clearly been thinking about you for some reason. If he says that he is missing you, you can be sure that the No Contact Rule has worked. However, it is more likely that if your ex reaches out to you, the reasons will be less obvious.

If he asks you vaguely, “how are you doing?” he may be checking up to see if you are okay, or he may be trying to test the water with a general conversation. Either way, he is probably aware that breaking the No Contact Rule may signal that he thinks about you. Your ex-boyfriend clearly feels that contacting you is still important enough to be worth doing.

2. Your ex posts about you on social media

If your ex-boyfriend posts about you on social media, it can be a sign that he is thinking about you. This can take the form of a comment on one of your posts, or even just a “like” on something you have put up.

It can also be a sign that he is trying to get your attention by posting something that he knows you will see. This might be a photo of the two of you together, or even just a status update about something that you have in common.

3. Your ex talks about you to mutual friends

If your ex-boyfriend is talking about you to your mutual friends, this can be a sign that he is thinking about you. He may be sharing things in order to get them off of his chest, or perhaps he does not want to keep this relationship secret from the people who already know you both.

If your ex-boyfriend talks about your breakup with other people, it can be a sign that he is not over you yet. He may be hoping for sympathy from others, or he could even be trying to make you jealous by talking about other women.

4. Your ex-boyfriend stares at you

If your ex-boyfriend stares at you, this can be a sign that he is still thinking about you. It may be that he is a little obsessed with you and simply can’t take his eyes off of you.

However, it is also possible that your ex-boyfriend is simply trying to figure out if there is any chance that you might still be interested in getting back together. If your ex feels like he has missed an opportunity, or if he is simply not ready to let go of this relationship, then a lingering stare may be the sign that you need.

5. Your ex-boyfriend asks mutual friends about you

If your ex-boyfriend asks mutual friends about you, it can be a sign that he is thinking about you and wants to know how things’ are going. This may be a sign that he is trying to keep tabs on you, or it could mean that he simply wants some kind of connection with you.

There are many possible reasons why your ex-boyfriend might ask mutual friends about you, so it is important not to jump to conclusions too quickly. However, if this seems like a pattern, it may be a sign that he is not ready to move on just yet.

6. Your ex-boyfriend tries to make you jealous

If your ex-boyfriend tries to make you jealous, it could be a sign that he is still thinking about you. He may be trying to get your attention by flirting with other women, or he could be trying to make you see that he is still attractive and desirable.

Your ex-boyfriend may also be trying to make you jealous in order to get a reaction out of you. If he is hoping that you will get angry or upset, it can be a sign that he is not over you yet.

7. Your ex-boyfriend sends you a DM

If your ex-boyfriend sends you a message on social media, it can be a sign that he is thinking about you. He may simply want to get in touch to chat and catch up, or he could be trying to gauge your feelings by asking if you would like to meet up.

This could also be a sign that your ex-boyfriend is trying to start a conversation with you in order to see if there is any chance of getting back together. If he is asking about your life and how you are doing, it may be a sign that he still cares about you.

8. Your ex-boyfriend likes your posts

If your ex-boyfriend likes your posts on social media, it can be a sign that he is still thinking about you. He may be interested in what you are doing and how you are feeling, or he could simply be trying to get your attention.

Liking your posts can also be a way for your ex-boyfriend to start a conversation with you. If he leaves a comment on one of your posts, it may be a sign that he wants to talk to you.

9. Your ex-boyfriend texts you

If your ex-boyfriend texts you, it can be a sign that he is thinking about you. He may simply want to talk to you and catch up, or he may be interested in getting back together.

Texting can also be a way for your ex-boyfriend to gauge your feelings. If he is asking how you are doing and what you have been up to, it may be a sign that he still cares about you.

10. Your ex-boyfriend calls you

If your ex-boyfriend calls you, it can be a sign that he is thinking about you. He may want to talk to you and catch up, or he may be interested in getting back together.

Calling can also be a way for your ex-boyfriend to gauge your feelings. If he is asking how you are doing and what you have been up to, it may be a sign that he still cares about you.

Benefits of Using the No Contact Rule

1. The No Contact Rule can help you take a step back and gain some much-needed perspective. During this time, you can focus on yourself and your own well-being, instead of obsessing over your ex-boyfriend.

2. The No Contact Rule gives you some space to reflect on the relationship and why it ended. This can help you gain a better understanding of the issues that may have led to the breakup, and it can help you work through any negative emotions or lingering doubts.

3. The No Contact Rule gives your ex-boyfriend time to reflect on the relationship as well. This can be a good thing because it gives him a chance to miss you and realize that he wants to get back together.

4. The No Contact Rule can help you avoid any further drama or conflict with your ex-boyfriend. If you are constantly arguing or fighting, it can be very difficult to move on and ell. By taking some space, he may be able to cultivate a more positive attitude towards you.

5. The No Contact Rule can help you focus on your own happiness. This is a time to focus on yourself and your own needs, without worrying about your ex-boyfriend. By taking care of yourself, you will be in a better place emotionally and mentally, which can make it easier to get over your ex and move on with your life. Ultimately, the benefits of the No Contact Rule are many, and it can be a powerful tool for anyone going through a breakup. If you are thinking about trying this strategy yourself, just remember to stay positive and stay focused on your own needs.

What is self-respect?

Self-respect is the ability to value and treat yourself with dignity and respect. It involves having a positive view of yourself and trusting in your abilities, as well as honoring your own needs and desires. Other aspects of self-respect include respecting others, standing up for yourself, speaking your mind, and taking care of yourself physically and emotionally.

Tips to develop and show self-respect

1. Develop a positive view of yourself

One of the most important things you can do for your self-respect is to develop a positive view of yourself. This means believing in your own abilities and trusting that you are capable of achieving your goals. It also involves accepting yourself for who you are, flaws and all. If you have trouble developing a positive view of yourself, try spending some time each day doing things that make you feel good about yourself, such as practicing self-care, working on a passion project, or spending time with loved ones.

2. Speak your mind and stand up for yourself

Another key aspect of self-respect is being willing to speak your mind and stand up for yourself. This means having the confidence to share your opinions and beliefs, even if they are different from others. It also means knowing when to say “no” and setting boundaries with others. If you find it difficult to speak up for yourself, try practicing in less challenging situations first, such as with friends or family members. Once you feel more confident, you can start speaking up in more difficult situations.

3. Honor your needs and desires

In order to show self-respect, it is important to honor your own needs and desires. This means listening to your gut instinct and following your heart, even if it means going against the grain. It also involves being kind to yourself and prioritizing your well-being, both physically and emotionally.

4. Take care of yourself physically and emotionally

In addition to honoring your needs and desires, it is essential to take good care of yourself on a physical and emotional level. This means eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep each night, taking time for relaxation and hobbies, and seeking professional help if you are struggling with your mental health.

5. Respect others

Finally, showing self-respect also involves respecting others. This means treating others with kindness and consideration, even if you don’t agree with them. It also includes being open-minded and listening to others’ perspectives, even if they are different from your own. By developing and showing self-respect, you can cultivate healthier relationships with others and a more positive view of yourself.

Conclusion

The No Contact Rule is a commonly recommended strategy for dealing with various relationship challenges.

This can help you take some time to reflect on your feelings and priorities and decide if you really want to get back together with your ex-boyfriend.

However, if you do decide to reach out to your ex, it is important to be honest, patient, and understanding.

This may help you rebuild trust and restore your relationship over time, but there is no guarantee that this will happen. Ultimately, whether or not the No Contact Rule is right for you depends on a number of different factors, including the reasons for your breakup, how long it has been since the split, and what you are hoping to achieve by getting back together.

Can a relationship work after no contact?

There is no definite answer to this question, as the success of a relationship after no contact depends on a number of different factors. These can include how long it has been since the breakup, what led to the split in the first place, and what each partner hopes to achieve by getting back together. However, if you feel like no contact is the right strategy for you, it may help you to work through some of the challenges in your relationship and to improve your chances of getting back together with your ex-boyfriend.

What if I break the no contact rule?

Breaking the no contact rule can have negative consequences for your relationship, such as making it harder to rebuild trust and restore your connection with your ex-boyfriend. However, if you do break this rule unintentionally or by accident, there is no need to worry. Simply take some time to reflect on what happened and try to avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future.

Should I text him first after no contact?

The decision to text your ex-boyfriend first after no contact is a personal one, and there is no right or wrong answer. Ultimately, it depends on factors such as how long it has been since the breakup, what led to the split in the first place, and what you are hoping to achieve by getting back together.