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How to Make Your Wife Fall in Love With You Again After Separation

Marriage separation is one of the most emotionally painful experiences a husband can face. The silence becomes louder than the arguments ever were.

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Every hour feels like an opportunity slipping away, making it tempting to send another text, make another promise, or desperately search for the perfect words that will change her mind.

Stop Trying to Convince Her

One of the biggest mistakes separated husbands make is believing that if they can just explain themselves one more time, she’ll understand.

They send:

Long emotional text messages
Endless apologies
Love letters
Promises they’ll never make the same mistakes
Constant requests to “just talk”

Here’s the reality:

You cannot negotiate attraction.

If she’s emotionally detached, more words rarely create more feelings. In many cases, they create more pressure.

When a wife has asked for space, repeatedly trying to force emotional conversations often confirms the very reasons she needed distance in the first place.

Instead of making her miss you, it makes her feel responsible for managing your emotions.

That is not attractive.

Accept That Something Had Been Breaking for a Long Time

Most marriages don’t suddenly collapse.

They slowly accumulate disappointment.

Before asking how to get your wife to fall in love again, honestly ask yourself:

What had she been complaining about?
What conversations did you keep avoiding?
Where did she stop feeling emotionally safe?
What patterns kept repeating?

Forget who’s right for a moment.

Focus on what was happening.

Whether her complaints were perfectly fair isn’t the first issue.

What matters is that she experienced enough pain to choose separation.

Until you understand that experience, you’ll keep solving the wrong problem.

Do a Brutally Honest Personal Inventory

This is where real leadership begins.

Write everything down without defending yourself.

Consider areas like:

Emotional Habits

Were you:

Defensive?
Easily triggered?
Emotionally unavailable?
Overly jealous?
Needy?
Dismissive?

Marriage Leadership

Did you:

Neglect quality time?
Stop dating your wife?
Become complacent?
Lose direction?
Make her carry all the emotional labor?

Lifestyle

Sometimes attraction suffers because life itself becomes stagnant.

Ask yourself:

Have I stopped taking care of my health?
Have I become financially irresponsible?
Have I become negative?
Have I lost ambition?
Have I allowed stress to become my identity?

Personal growth starts with radical honesty.

how to make your wife fall in love with you again after separation

During Separation, Space Is Not Your Enemy

Many husbands panic when their wife asks for distance.

Ironically…

Space is often what gives attraction room to breathe again.

If every interaction feels emotionally heavy, she never gets the opportunity to experience your absence.

Respecting her space communicates something powerful:

“I respect your boundaries, and I’m emotionally strong enough to handle discomfort without trying to control you.”

That kind of emotional composure creates far more curiosity than constant pursuit.

Replace Desperation With Calm Confidence

Confidence isn’t something you announce.

It’s something people observe.

Your wife doesn’t need another speech about how you’ve changed.

She needs to experience someone different.

That means:

Staying calm during difficult conversations.
Handling disagreements without becoming reactive.
Respecting boundaries without resentment.
Living a productive life whether she notices immediately or not.

Real confidence never asks for validation.

It simply becomes visible over time.

Show Change Instead of Talking About It

One of the quickest ways to destroy credibility is repeatedly saying:

“I’ve changed.”

If she can’t see it consistently, those words lose value.

Instead, quietly demonstrate change.

Maybe you’ve:

Started exercising consistently.
Become more emotionally regulated.
Improved your financial discipline.
Developed healthier friendships.
Deepened your spiritual life.
Become a better father.

None of these should be performed to impress her.

They’re investments in becoming the kind of man who naturally attracts respect and trust.

People believe what they repeatedly observe—not what they’re repeatedly told.

communication - how to make your wife fall in love with you again after separation

Keep Communication Calm, Brief, and Purposeful

If you’re co-parenting or handling shared responsibilities, communication is unavoidable.

Use that opportunity wisely.

Good communication during separation is:

Respectful
Friendly
Brief
Solution-focused
Emotionally steady

Avoid turning every logistical conversation into a relationship discussion.

For example:

Instead of:

“Can we talk about us?”

Focus on:

“I’ll pick up the kids at 5 PM. Let me know if anything changes.”

This lowers emotional pressure while rebuilding trust through consistency.

Stop Trying to Manage Her Feelings

Many husbands unknowingly become emotional managers.

They constantly ask:

“Are you okay?”
“Do you still love me?”
“Where is this going?”
“Have you made a decision?”

These questions usually come from anxiety—not leadership.

When someone feels emotionally pressured, they often withdraw even further.

Allow her emotions to belong to her.

Your responsibility is managing yours.

That emotional independence is surprisingly attractive.

Become Someone She Can Become Curious About Again

Attraction requires mystery.

Not manipulation.

Not games.

Just growth.

If every day looks exactly like the last five years, there’s nothing emotionally new to discover.

Curiosity grows when she begins noticing changes she wasn’t expecting.

Maybe you’re:

More emotionally grounded.
More patient.
Less reactive.
More disciplined.
More fulfilled.
More peaceful.

When someone changes from the inside out, other people naturally become curious.

Curiosity often opens doors that persuasion never could.

Build a Life Bigger Than the Marriage Crisis

This may sound counterintuitive.

One of the healthiest ways to save your marriage is to stop making your marriage your only purpose.

Develop a meaningful life that includes:

Faith and spiritual growth
Physical health
Professional excellence
Friendships
Personal goals
Serving others
Learning new skills

A purpose-driven man carries different emotional energy.

Instead of constantly needing reassurance, he becomes someone who contributes value wherever he goes.

Ironically, that makes reconnecting much more likely than making your entire identity dependent on reconciliation.

Apologize Once—Then Let Your Actions Speak

Some husbands never apologize.

Others apologize every week.

Neither extreme is effective.

A sincere apology is simple.

Take responsibility for your contribution to the breakdown of the relationship without defending yourself or expecting immediate forgiveness.

For example:

“I recognize the ways I contributed to where we are today. I’m genuinely sorry for my part in that. I’m committed to becoming a better husband and a better man regardless of how long that takes.”

After that…

Stop trying to convince her.

Your daily actions become the apology.

5 Tips to Stop Divorce after Separation📍⁉️ ❤️

Patience Is Part of the Attraction Process

One of the hardest lessons during separation is understanding that emotional healing rarely follows your timeline.

If trust eroded over years, it usually isn’t rebuilt in weeks.

Patience isn’t passive.

It’s active self-development while allowing genuine change to accumulate over time.

The husbands who rebuild strong marriages aren’t usually the ones who chased hardest.

They’re the ones who became emotionally stronger while giving trust enough time to grow again.

Avoid These Attraction Killers During Separation

If your goal is rebuilding attraction, avoid these common mistakes:

Constantly checking on her feelings.
Sending emotional novels through text.
Showing up uninvited.
Monitoring her social media.
Trying to make her jealous.
Using guilt to gain sympathy.
Arguing over who’s right.
Begging for another chance.
Becoming emotionally unpredictable.
Making promises you haven’t yet demonstrated.

Every one of these behaviors communicates insecurity instead of strength.

Focus on Becoming the Man She Can Respect Again

Love and attraction often grow where respect exists.

Respect grows when your words and actions consistently align.

That means becoming:

Emotionally intelligent instead of emotionally reactive.
Purpose-driven instead of approval-driven.
Patient instead of impulsive.
Confident instead of controlling.
Self-aware instead of defensive.

Whether your marriage ultimately reconciles or not, these changes improve every area of your life.

Ironically, that’s exactly why they become attractive.

“Does My Wife MISS ME During SEPARATION?”

So how do you make your wife fall in love with you again after separation.

Stop trying to manufacture feelings and start becoming someone capable of sustaining a healthier marriage.

Respect her need for space. Take full ownership of your personal growth. Let your actions replace empty promises. Build emotional stability instead of emotional pressure.

You cannot force someone back into love—but you can remove the behaviors that pushed love away while becoming a man who naturally inspires trust, respect, and renewed attraction. If reconciliation happens, it will be because the relationship evolved into something healthier than what existed before—not because you convinced her to return.

“I Feel Disgusted When My Husband Touches Me” – [5 Solutions]

Frequently Asked Questions [FAQ]

How can I get my wife to love me again?

You cannot force someone to love you again, but you can create the conditions where love has room to grow. Focus on becoming emotionally mature, respecting her boundaries, taking responsibility for your mistakes, and consistently demonstrating positive change over time.

What is the success rule for wife?

There is no universal “success rule,” but healthy marriages thrive when both spouses consistently invest in friendship, respect, trust, emotional safety, and mutual growth. Long-term attraction is sustained by daily actions rather than occasional grand gestures.

Why is my wife not in love with me anymore?

Love often fades after repeated disappointment, unresolved conflict, emotional disconnection, broken trust, or years of unmet expectations rather than a single event. Understanding the deeper emotional patterns that led to the separation is the first step toward rebuilding the relationship.

How to ask your wife if she still loves you?

Instead of repeatedly asking whether she still loves you, create space for honest conversation by asking how she’s feeling about the relationship and listening without becoming defensive. If you do ask directly, be prepared to hear her answer with emotional composure rather than trying to argue or persuade her in the moment.

11 Signs Your Wife Doesn’t Respect You (And What to Do About It)

Few things wound a husband more deeply than feeling disrespected by his wife. It doesn’t just hurt your ego—it can make you question your value, your leadership, and even the future of your marriage.

Why Respect Matters More Than Winning Arguments

Respect is one of the foundations of attraction in long-term relationships.

Without respect:

Communication becomes hostile.
Conflict becomes personal.
Intimacy begins to disappear.
Friendship slowly erodes.

Many husbands respond in one of two destructive ways.

Some become angry, reactive, and determined to prove they’re right.

Others become passive, avoid conflict, and constantly try to please their wives.

Ironically, both responses often reinforce the same problem.

One communicates emotional instability.

The other communicates a lack of self-respect.

Neither creates the calm confidence that naturally earns respect over time.

5 Signs of wife LOSING INTEREST In Husband

11 Signs Your Wife Doesn’t Respect You

1. She Constantly Belittles You

Constructive criticism is normal.

Contempt is different.

If she frequently calls you stupid, lazy, incompetent, weak, or mocks your abilities, that’s more than frustration—it’s disrespect.

This becomes even more concerning if these comments happen repeatedly after you’ve calmly expressed how hurtful they are.

2. She Rolls Her Eyes or Dismisses Everything You Say

Disrespect often shows up in subtle body language before it becomes obvious.

Examples include:

Eye rolling
Heavy sighs
Smirking
Interrupting
Acting like your opinions don’t matter

These behaviors communicate that she has stopped valuing your perspective.

3. She Makes Important Decisions Without You

Marriage is a partnership.

Healthy spouses consult each other before making significant financial, parenting, or family decisions.

If she consistently excludes you from major choices, she’s acting as though your input has little value.

4. She Publicly Embarrasses or Humiliates You

One of the clearest signs your wife doesnt respect you is when she criticizes or mocks you in front of:

Friends
Family
Children
Coworkers
Social media audiences

Healthy couples protect each other’s dignity in public—even when they disagree privately.

5. She Rarely Asks for Your Opinion

Everyone wants to feel that their thoughts matter.

If your wife never asks:

“What do you think?”
“How would you handle this?”
“Can I get your advice?”

it may indicate she no longer views you as someone whose judgment she values.

6. She Values Everyone Else’s Advice Over Yours

It’s perfectly healthy to seek advice from family or friends.

The issue arises when your opinion is consistently dismissed while everyone else’s opinions carry more weight.

Over time, this creates emotional distance and leaves you feeling like an outsider in your own marriage.

7. She Frequently Gives You the Silent Treatment

Taking space during conflict can be healthy.

Using silence as punishment is different.

When your wife consistently ignores you, refuses communication, or withholds interaction to gain emotional leverage, it damages trust and connection.

8. She Doesn’t Defend You

Respect often reveals itself when you’re not in the room.

If friends, relatives, or coworkers criticize you unfairly, a respectful spouse generally sets reasonable boundaries.

If she regularly joins in, laughs, or allows others to demean you without speaking up, it’s a warning sign.

9. She Shows Little Appreciation

Nobody expects constant praise.

But when your efforts go unnoticed for months—or years—it becomes difficult to feel valued.

Simple appreciation like:

“Thank you.”
“I appreciate what you do.”
“I noticed your effort.”

helps sustain emotional connection.

When appreciation disappears completely, respect often follows.

10. She Regularly Crosses Boundaries

Respect includes honoring each other’s emotional boundaries.

Examples include:

Ignoring reasonable requests
Invading privacy
Mocking personal values
Continuing hurtful behavior after repeated conversations

Healthy boundaries aren’t about controlling someone else.

They’re about defining what treatment you will and won’t accept.

11. She Treats You More Like a Roommate Than a Husband

Emotional indifference can sometimes hurt more than open conflict.

If your marriage has become little more than logistics, chores, bills, and parenting—with little friendship, affection, admiration, or intimacy—it may indicate respect and attraction have both eroded.

before your assume, here are signs your wife doesn’t respect you

“How Do You Tell If Your Wife STILL LOVES YOU After SEPARATION?”

Before You Assume She Doesn’t Respect You

Sometimes what feels like disrespect is actually:

Chronic stress
Burnout
Unresolved resentment
Depression
Communication breakdown
Emotional exhaustion

Likewise, occasional frustration isn’t the same as persistent contempt.

Look for patterns rather than isolated incidents.

One bad week doesn’t define a marriage.

Months or years of recurring disrespect deserve serious attention.

The Biggest Mistake Most Husbands Make

When a man feels disrespected, his instinct is often to restore order immediately.

That usually looks like:

Lecturing
Defending himself endlessly
Demanding apologies
Trying to prove he’s right
Starting power struggles

Unfortunately, this rarely creates more respect.

It usually creates more resistance.

Respect grows when your behavior consistently reflects calm strength—not emotional volatility.

How to Rebuild Respect Without Begging for It

Stop Chasing Validation

Your worth cannot depend on whether your wife praises you today.

The more desperately you seek validation, the more emotionally dependent you become.

Confidence grows from within, not from constant approval.

Lead Yourself First

One uncomfortable truth is that people often mirror how we treat ourselves.

Ask yourself:

Have I neglected my physical health?
Have I abandoned my purpose?
Do I constantly seek reassurance?
Do I tolerate behavior that violates my own values?

Self-respect usually comes before receiving respect from others.

Establish Calm Boundaries

Boundaries are not threats.

They’re clear standards.

Instead of shouting:

“You need to respect me!”

Try:

“I’m willing to have this conversation when we’re both speaking respectfully.”

Then actually follow through.

Consistency matters far more than emotional intensity.

Stop Being Obsessed With Right and Wrong

Many marriages become courtroom battles.

Every disagreement turns into proving who’s correct.

That mindset creates opponents instead of partners.

The goal isn’t winning arguments.

The goal is rebuilding connection.

Rebuild Your Own Purpose

Attraction naturally increases when someone is living a meaningful life.

That doesn’t mean ignoring your marriage.

It means becoming someone whose identity isn’t entirely dependent on it.

Invest in:

Your physical health
Your career
Your spiritual life
Personal growth
Friendships
Leadership at home

Purpose creates stability.

Stability often creates respect.

Improve the Friendship

Respect rarely thrives where friendship has died.

Ask yourself:

Do we laugh together?
Do we enjoy each other’s company?
Have we become purely transactional?

Sometimes rebuilding attraction begins with rebuilding genuine companionship.

When Professional Help Is Necessary

Some marriages involve patterns that go far beyond ordinary disrespect.

If your relationship includes:

Emotional abuse
Threats
Intimidation
Constant humiliation
Manipulation
Fear

don’t simply try harder to earn respect.

Seek help from a qualified marriage counselor or individual therapist, and prioritize your emotional and physical safety.

Healthy leadership never means tolerating abuse.

signs your wife doesn’t respect you - recognizing the signs

Recognizing the signs your wife doesn’t respect you can be painful, but it doesn’t automatically mean your marriage is over.

In many relationships, respect erodes gradually because resentment, poor communication, unhealthy expectations, and emotional reactivity quietly replace admiration and friendship.

The good news is that respect is rarely rebuilt through louder arguments or better speeches.

It grows through consistent self-respect, emotional intelligence, healthy boundaries, purpose, and steady leadership over time.

Instead of asking, “How do I make her respect me?” consider asking a better question:

“What kind of man am I consistently becoming?”

That shift won’t produce overnight results—but it often becomes the beginning of lasting change.

Frequently Asked Questions [FAQ]

How do you handle a disrespectful wife?

Start by assessing your personal level of self respect before attempting to address disrespect. Instead of reacting emotionally or trying to win an argument, set clear boundaries, communicate your expectations respectfully, and focus on strengthening your own emotional stability and leadership while remaining open to counseling if the pattern continues.

How do I get my wife to respect me?

You cannot force or negotiate respect, but you can create the conditions where it naturally grows over time. Build self-respect through purpose, consistency, healthy boundaries, emotional intelligence, and dependable actions that inspire trust rather than demand admiration.

How to deal with a toxic wife?

If your wife regularly uses manipulation, humiliation, intimidation, or emotional abuse, recognize that these behaviors go beyond ordinary marital conflict. Protect your well-being, establish firm boundaries, and seek professional support to determine whether the relationship can become healthy again.

What are the first signs a marriage is ending?

Early warning signs include persistent contempt, emotional distance, unresolved resentment, poor communication, loss of friendship, and a decline in mutual respect and affection. While these patterns are serious, recognizing them early gives couples the best opportunity to address the underlying issues before they become permanent.

“My WIFE WANTS A DIVORCE How Can I CHANGE HER MIND?” – 5 tips

Question: “My wife wants a divorce how can I change her mind?” – 5 tips

I want to share 5 tips with you on getting the best chance to change her mind.

You know, at the end of the day, it’s not a 100% chance.

It’s never gonna be a 100% chance that you would change your mind.

But if you follow these 5 tips I’m about to share with you, you would dramatically increase the chances that she would change her mind.

Before I get into the 5 tips, there’s a quick story I want to share with you.

Just some few weeks ago, I was watching a review of a podcast that Lola and I were on as a guest.

There was a review.

We happen to make the top 5 of the podcast episodes on that podcast,

…and the husband and the wife, who is also a family friend, Bola and Mac were talking about the divorce that my wife asked for some years back.

And the husband was like, “I don’t think they put that out there like”,

…then the wife was like, “No”.

We did and the truth is that yes, we have spoken about our divorce.

We have mentioned it, and we in fact talked elaborately about it in the book, you can get the book for free at GetMyMarriageBack.com.

We talked elaborately about that in our book, on many videos and I’m about to talk about it again right now.

The truth of the matter is that we have spoken about our divorce and we have to talk about the divorce because,

…what a lot of people do with marriage and divorce is that it becomes like a big demon in their lives and their relationship, and then it eats up the relationship.

And when you don’t have a relationship, essentially, you don’t have a marriage because marriage is just the institution, that’s the paper stuff.

But there’s an underlying relationship that happens before you can even have a healthy marriage.

That’s why I wanted to share these,

My wife wants a divorce, how can I change her mind? – 5 tips, with you really quickly.

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Tip #1

You can’t change her mind, but your next moves will influence her final decision.

See, at the end of the day, we’re human beings.

We’re social beings and we are relating with each other on how safe we feel around each other.

And because of that, we do influence our own decisions.

Like the people around you, you know, you’ve heard that saying before,

… the top 5 people around you influence your decisions.

They influence your life, they influence the outcome of your life and so also is your marriage and your relationship.

That’s true for your marriage and your relationships as well.

Even though you can’t particularly change her mind, your next moves,

So I’m about to share 4 more tips on, My wife wants a divorce, how can I change her mind?

Your next moves will influence her final decision.

So let’s go on to,

Tip #2

Don’t put divorce on the pedestal.

Don’t make divorce a big of a deal than it is already.

Don’t make it a big of a deal than it is

It’s just divorce.

It just means somebody decides that they don’t wanna be a part of your life.

But it’s a decision that people can change their mind all the time.

So if you stick to Tip #1 like I said earlier,

Yes, she can change your mind based on the moves you’re gonna make.

Then again, don’t make divorce a big of a deal than it is.

It’s just at least in that moment in time, she hasn’t filed divorce yet.

It is just a decision, it is just “hey, I’m gonna ask for divorce”,it’s just a decision that can be changed.

Let me even tell you how good this is.

Even if she’s already filed for the divorce.

This was something that I learned that made it super easy for me to attract my wife back.

She had actually filed divorce before we got back together and the good news is that,

…the thing is that I had stumbled into stories of people that had filed divorce five years and they’ve been divorced for five years, they got back together.

I know people that have been divorced for a whole decade but they still got back together.

So if I know that all these possibilities are in place, the last thing I wanted to do was to put divorce on a pedestal.

Divorce is not as much of a big deal that people would like to make it seem.

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You know, a lot of religious people make divorce a big deal when they go to that part of the Bible where it says “God hates divorce”.

Think about the effect of that phrase on your mind.

It’s like, “Oh, God forbid”

No, don’t do that.

Don’t put divorce on a pedestal.

God hates divorce, okay good but it’s a reality a lot of times.

Don’t make it a big deal.

The big deal here is the relationship you have with your wife.

You need to work on that.

That is faulty, and that’s the underlying reason why she’s asking for divorce.

Asking for divorce is a symptom you want to come back to the underlying reason.

What is the cause?

You’re worried about the effect, but let’s talk about the cause.

The cause is where you should be focused on.

In that same talking, I’m gonna give you

Tip #3

Don’t put marriage on a pedestal.

Marriage is cute and it’s beautiful when it’s nice but if you have a terrible relationship as the underlying structure of your marriage,

What’s the point?

So don’t put marriage on a pedestal.

I’d rather you focus on the relationship you have with your wife, than focusing on “God forbid, I don’t want the marriage to end”.

If you don’t want the marriage to end, that energy that you’re carrying around is gonna push your wife even further away.

Tip #4

Focus 100% on building yourself.

So not even the relationship, building yourself till you attract the love you desire.

And let me just add this, that you deserve.

If you focus on yourself, you will attract the appropriate type of love and it’s kind of easier if she’s already your wife.

She’s not gonna wanna let you go if you work on yourself and that’s a thought to show in your behaviors.

She’s not gonna wanna let you go.

So what you need to focus on 100% is building yourself.

There’s something about you that’s making you do the opposite of attracting your wife.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

Focus on that.

Work on that.

Don’t worry about changing her mind.

Worry about building yourself.

Tip #5

Be okay with the possibility of never attracting her again.

You see, there are forces beyond what you can see.

Especially when you’re dealing with relationships.

It’s a very spiritual thing.

So a lot of time you may think you want your wife back.

Maybe that’s not the case.

Maybe it’s just a matter of obsession that’s basically born out of the rejection.

Rejection breeds obsession.

So you may just not be able to see that clearly right now.

That’s why 100% of your focus needs to go into building yourself.

Because if she doesn’t belong in being your wife,

In that position of being your wife, she doesn’t need to be there.

But you may not be able to see that yet, because again you’re feeling obsessed.

You’re obsessed because of the rejection.

So again those are the 5 tips for, My wife wants a divorce, how can I change her mind?

if this is the right person for you, you will attract her back into a better and healthier relationship,

…which is also a better and healthier marriage if you just focus on yourself.

“How To APOLOGIZE To Your WIFE” – 7 Tips

Question: “How To APOLOGIZE To Your WIFE” – 7 Tips

You’ve offended your wife.

Things have happened.

Her feelings are hurt and you wanna apologize to your wife?

It could be anything from as simple as you hurt her feelings, you’re dismissive, you argue too much to infidelity.

Like something terribly bad.

Some kind of betrayal, betrayal of trust.

You know, whatever it is that’s going on.

There is some kind of crisis going on in your marriage and you feel the need to apologize to your wife right now.

Before I get into the 7 tips, there’s a quick story I want to show with you.

There’s a guy, a popular musician in Nigeria called Nice.

Basically he came out on the scene, some few weeks ago and he recorded a video, some two minutes video apologizing to his wife.

Then asking all 300,000 of his followers to help him apologize to his wife and then asked people to tag his wife.

He actually put the Instagram handle and asked people to tag his wife and help him apologize because he did something terrible.

And then we came to find out that what he did was that he cheated on his wife.

It’s actually a viral video that was floating all over the place of him serenading, grabbing the breast of another girl, a side chick if you will.

I guess that video came out and the wife is now shut down and I think, left the house and things like that.

Now, as soon as I saw that video, I knew that that was a wrong move.

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And why is that the wrong move?

I’m gonna share 7 tips with you and in these 7 tips, you would know that that’s in fact the wrong move.

It’s actually a work against him, his relationship and marriage more than do any kind of favor.

Now a lot of people, especially even ladies, saw that and they thought that was romantic.

You hear people saying “it’s very rare to see a man that will actually admit they’re wrong and actually apologize”

While there may be some truth to that, that move of shooting the video, adding background music and apologizing to your wife publicly is the wrong move.

Why?

Tip #1

Never tender apologies after a betrayal (especially publicly), without taking the time to do the work.

So think about it,

if you are tendering an apology, your wife just found out that you offended her.

There is the need to fix things immediately, but that immediate need to fix things is emotional.

It’s purely emotional and you haven’t done any work.

It’s reactional.

You’re just reacting to the idea that you may have hurt your wife or that you hurt your wife.

Anytime you react in that way without putting proper thoughts behind it, a.k.a. the work behind the scenes,

It’s gonna work against you.

Your apology, in fact, is probably not authentic because again, you haven’t really processed what just happened.

You haven’t processed how you may have been wrong.

Your wife told you you’re wrong, maybe you’re not exactly wrong.

Maybe it’s not about right and wrong.

Maybe you’re wrong.

Whichever one it is, you haven’t taken the time to work on yourself.

So any kind of apology you tender is in fact fake and is more of a response than it is an authentic apology.

Tip #2

The best apology is always 100% changed behavior.

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Again, changed behavior does not happen overnight.

It’s not gonna happen because your wife caught you.

So that’s when you see people say, “Are you apologizing before, because you’re caught? or because you’re actually truly remorseful?”.

It is almost impossible to be remorseful when you get caught like that, because again, you haven’t processed it.

Tip #3

Most people who tender apology are doing so as a form of quick fix, and your victim (especially ladies), can smell a bad apology from thousands of miles away.

I think we’re just going in circles now.

It’s the same thing.

It’s a quick fix.

Apology that represents more of a quick fix will hurt your relationship, it will make the other person feel manipulated more than it to actually help anything.

Tip #4

You can have good intentions and still tender a bad apology.

Yes, your intentions are good.

You really want to just fix things.

You just want her to feel better, but she’s not gonna feel better..

Again, because you haven’t allowed her time to process what just happened,

…you haven’t processed what just happened.

All that happened is that you got caught.

Take the time off.

Relax.

So I understand that you feel bad, but feeling bad is not a changed behavior.

Like I said in tip #2, it’s not a changed behavior.

Good intention is not the same thing as good apology.

Good intention is not the same thing as changed behavior.

A changed behavior, when we’re talking about behavior, we’re not talking about habits and to change habits will take work.

In fact, an average habit takes 90 days of intense work on yourself before you can actually change a habit and behavior.

Tip #5

If you truly will change your behavior sustainably, If you want a lasting change of behavior, the change will be a function of time and patience.

It takes time and patience.

You can’t possibly be apologizing and think that your apology is authentic because you got caught.

You got caught, you feel bad is different from you feeling authentically remorseful.

You haven’t processed it.

In fact, you may have some resentments in yourself, but because your wife has rejected you right now, you just wanna be very quick to apologize.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that.

Tip #6

Public apologies only create more embarrassment for the victims.

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Especially when we’re talking about a celebrity.

But honestly, across board public apologies are just terrible.

They embarrass the victim a lot more than it actually makes them feel better because again they feel some type of embarrassment.

They are a little bit ashamed of what just happened but now you’re making it public,

…you’re not helping things.

That’s another reason why it must be a function of time and patience.

Because if you took the time, you would have thought that all the way through that “Hey, I know I have offended her but the worst thing that can do right now is to embarrass her even further”.

So you don’t want to do that.

Tip #7

Tender apology only after taking some time to process whatever happened,

Take the time.

It must be a function of time and patience.

But there’s an exception.

If your victim expresses an explicit request for an apology, if they’re saying “you owe me an apology”.

If you feel like you’ve offended them, then basically they’ve processed it enough to say, “Hey, you owe me an apology”.

You can say “I apologize”, keep it simple.

You don’t need to do that over and over again.

Again, the best thing you can do is take the time and patience and do the work that you need to do on changing the behavior and the habits.

If you’re not ready to do that, your apology is only gonna create more toxicity in your relationship or in your marriage.

It’s only gonna make things worse.

And you’re gonna build more resentments for every time you offend that same person in the same way, over and over again.

The resentment is just gonna get worse and worse.

So that’s how to apologize to your wife.

Time and patience.

Take the time and patience to work on yourself and work on changed behavior.

“Am I VERBALLY ABUSIVE To My Wife” – 5 Tips

So there are 5 tips I want to share with you to determine the answer to that question,

But before I get into that, there is a quick story that I wanna tell you.

I came across a video on YouTube by a gentleman called Kevin Samuels and apparently,

…he basically advised young ladies, single ladies, and people in general about relationships…and that’s cool.

I think we still need more people helping people like that.

We see more of negative videos with regards to relationships that people find more entertaining

Which actually ends up hurting their relationships.

I’m talking about reality TV shows and things like that.

So any time I see somebody helping people with learning how relationships work, I like it ultimately.

But I encountered the viral video from him where he was seemingly bashing this lady heavily.

He was very rude.

A lot of time people engage in the blunt language,

… talmbout’, they speak blunt.

As a matter of fact, I was on the new social media platform in the past few days, called Clubhouse,

…and I heard quite a few people who were thinking that the way to a healthy relationship is communication.

I’m not disputing that it’s communication, but what most people consider communication is just talking and being blunt,

or “setting the expectation” or “setting the intentions” and boundaries.

These are things that kill attraction if you have overdose of expressing them… extreme ideologies has a way of killing attraction.

So with that being said, Are You verbally abusive to your wife?

PREVIOUS POST: “Can PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE Husbands CHANGE?” – 7 tips

There’s a good chance that you are feeling like you’ve been communicating,

…and in fact,

You’ve been killing the vibe and the relationship with your wife by being the “communicator”; basically the talkative of the relationship.

Believe me when I tell you this, I am the one that’s considered the communicator or the talkative in our relationship and marriage.

I don’t think so, but at least my wife considers to be true.

What I find is that it really doesn’t matter if I feel like I’m not the talkative.

What matters is…

Tip #1- It’s her opinion.

If she feels like you’re verbally abusive, that’s as valid as it gets.

The feelings have to be validated by paying attention to it and see how you can adjust things in a positive direction,

Because the feelings are powerful enough to determine the direction of your relationship with your wife.

So Tip#1 – It’s her opinion.

You have to listen to it, pay attention to it and see what she’s trying to say even if you disagree with it.

See what kind of action you have been taking that makes her feel like you’re talking too much or verbally abusive.

If you do that, it doesn’t mean you are agreeing that you are verbally abusive.

It just means you’re paying attention to whatever she is interpreting as “verbal abuse” and then you can fix that.

You can adjust or pivot accordingly because at the end of the day you care about the relationship.

That’s why you are asking if you are verbally abusive to you wife.

Tip #2 – You need a full tank of patience.

Towards the end of that Kevin Samuels’ viral video, he actually lost his cool and hung up on the lady.

And I know this is not his wife.

But in my opinion, if you are going to win in your relationship with your wife, you have to treat ladies in general with a certain level of respect and patience.

Much more importantly, the patience.

You can’t lose your cool, if you lose your cool,

…you can at least say

“If you don’t mind, let me take care of some business and we’ll come back to this conversation later“

You have to be polite with the way you dismiss the situation if you have to dismiss the situation.

Sometimes it’s true that you have to dismiss the conversation because you feel like it’s just not getting anywhere.

But you wanna be polite about it.

Particularly, you don’t want them to feel like you dismiss them.

This is something I’m personally still working on.

Sometimes, I just don’t want the toxic argument and I come off as dismissive.

It’s an art, it’s not an exact science.

Somethings… you have to learn with respect to the particular person you’re dealing with and their personality.

Tip #2 – You wanna make sure you engage these conversations with a full tank of patience; Infinite patience.

You can’t lose your cool.

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Tip #3 – Engage active listening.

If your lady accuses you of being verbally abusive, the first quick step to really nibbling that in the bud is to stop talking.

Stop talking so much even if your intentions is to correct.

There’s a lot of people that just have good intentions in wanting to correct something, and it comes off as verbal abuse and controlling behavior.

Remember tip #1, if it comes off as abusive, controlling and manipulative, then it is what it is…

Because it’s a relationship…

And just 50% is all you need to make that a full blown opinion that would control the dynamics and the direction of your relationship.

So instead of talking so much, don’t just shut up because that would be dismissive,

Engage active listening.

And I would say, repeat what she’s saying back to her and ask her to tell you more.

Tip #4 – Abuse is very likely unintentional.

There’s a lot of abuse going on in relationships and marriages.

And many times, they’re just unintentional…

Nobody (most people don’t) come(s) into a marriage with the intention of being abusive.

But sometimes when we lose our cool or the way we conduct ourselves in the middle of a crisis,

…we’ll come off as abusive to the other person

But keep in mind, there’s a crisis going on.

What you will find in a lot of relationships and marriages is that people are basically in the middle of normal engagement with a partner when they tend to end up with a crisis,

When everybody has lost their cool and there’s an active argument, fighting and bickering going on, then clearly nothing is intentional.

Everything is reactive and that’s not what you wanna do.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

Tip #5 – Reverse engineer corrections into her idea.

Like I said earlier, a lot of times the intention is to correct something that you feel maybe wrong.

But your intentions are overrated. In fact, your action is being received as verbally abusive.

And if it’s been received by 50% of the relationship as verbally abusive, unfortunately, I have to tell you that it is probably verbal abuse.

At least for now, it’s the feeling that counts. If your partner feels like it is verbally abusive, it is verbally abusive.

So instead of trying to correct and engaging in blunt languages to correct your partner as it comes, find ways to reverse engineer your corrections into her idea.

So how do you do that?

You need to learn how to ask quality questions.

There are questions that you will ask and you think they’re quality but they’re actually coming off as manipulative and condescending.

You want to avoid those types of questions and really master the skills of asking quality questions.

So things like…

“So are you saying that I come off a little bit abusive?”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“I didn’t mean to be abusive”.
“Can you tell me what that looks like when I’m abusive because there’s a good chance I’m not aware that I’m being abusive?”

See, if you talk in that calm manner repeatedly…not just one time…

She will start feeling safer around you.

And then she will also give you a lot more passes even when you’re upset because you’re still a human being.

But right now, the work is gonna be on your part in order to reverse all that “verbally abusive” negative energy.

You want to reverse that, put in some work and be consistent until she starts feeling safer with you again,

…but I’m telling you right now, there’s a good chance that you were just being blunt.

That’s why Blunt is a terrible way of communicating in a relationship.

Listening is the best route to effective communication.

Less talking can sometime be the best way to communicate, especially if you’re a man trying to communicate with your wife.

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Stop Trying to Convince Her

Accept That Something Had Been Breaking for a Long Time

Do a Brutally Honest Personal Inventory

Emotional Habits

Marriage Leadership

Lifestyle

During Separation, Space Is Not Your Enemy

Replace Desperation With Calm Confidence

Show Change Instead of Talking About It

Keep Communication Calm, Brief, and Purposeful

Stop Trying to Manage Her Feelings

Become Someone She Can Become Curious About Again

Build a Life Bigger Than the Marriage Crisis

Apologize Once—Then Let Your Actions Speak

Patience Is Part of the Attraction Process

Avoid These Attraction Killers During Separation

Focus on Becoming the Man She Can Respect Again

So how do you make your wife fall in love with you again after separation.

Frequently Asked Questions [FAQ]

Why Respect Matters More Than Winning Arguments

11 Signs Your Wife Doesn’t Respect You

1. She Constantly Belittles You

2. She Rolls Her Eyes or Dismisses Everything You Say

3. She Makes Important Decisions Without You

4. She Publicly Embarrasses or Humiliates You

5. She Rarely Asks for Your Opinion

6. She Values Everyone Else’s Advice Over Yours

7. She Frequently Gives You the Silent Treatment

8. She Doesn’t Defend You

9. She Shows Little Appreciation

10. She Regularly Crosses Boundaries

11. She Treats You More Like a Roommate Than a Husband

Before You Assume She Doesn’t Respect You

The Biggest Mistake Most Husbands Make

How to Rebuild Respect Without Begging for It

Stop Chasing Validation

Lead Yourself First

Establish Calm Boundaries

Stop Being Obsessed With Right and Wrong

Rebuild Your Own Purpose

Improve the Friendship

When Professional Help Is Necessary

Recognizing the signs your wife doesn’t respect you can be painful, but it doesn’t automatically mean your marriage is over.

Frequently Asked Questions [FAQ]

We happen to make the top 5 of the podcast episodes on that podcast,

My wife wants a divorce, how can I change her mind? – 5 tips, with you really quickly.

PREVIOUS POST: “How To APOLOGIZE To Your WIFE” – 7 Tips

Tip #1

You can’t change her mind, but your next moves will influence her final decision.

Tip #2

Don’t put divorce on the pedestal.

Divorce is not as much of a big deal that people would like to make it seem.

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Tip #3

Don’t put marriage on a pedestal.

Tip #4

Focus 100% on building yourself.

There’s something about you that’s making you do the opposite of attracting your wife.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

Tip #5

Be okay with the possibility of never attracting her again.

Rejection breeds obsession.

So again those are the 5 tips for, My wife wants a divorce, how can I change her mind?

Before I get into the 7 tips, there’s a quick story I want to show with you.

Now, as soon as I saw that video, I knew that that was a wrong move.

PREVIOUS POST: “Am I VERBALLY ABUSIVE To My Wife” – 5 Tips

Tip #1

Never tender apologies after a betrayal (especially publicly), without taking the time to do the work.

Tip #2

The best apology is always 100% changed behavior.

TRENDING: “How Do I APOLOGIZE for HURTING My Wife?”📍 John Gray

Tip #3

Most people who tender apology are doing so as a form of quick fix, and your victim (especially ladies), can smell a bad apology from thousands of miles away.

Tip #4

You can have good intentions and still tender a bad apology.

Broken Marriage?
Fix it Here FREE

Broken Marriage?
Fix it Here FREE