“My WIFE WANTS A DIVORCE How Can I CHANGE HER MIND?” – 5 tips

Question: “My wife wants a divorce how can I change her mind?” – 5 tips

I want to share 5 tips with you on getting the best chance to change her mind.

You know, at the end of the day, it’s not a 100% chance.

It’s never gonna be a 100% chance that you would change your mind.

But if you follow these 5 tips I’m about to share with you, you would dramatically increase the chances that she would change her mind.

Before I get into the 5 tips, there’s a quick story I want to share with you.

Just some few weeks ago, I was watching a review of a podcast that Lola and I were on as a guest.

There was a review.

We happen to make the top 5 of the podcast episodes on that podcast,

…and the husband and the wife, who is also a family friend, Bola and Mac were talking about the divorce that my wife asked for some years back.

And the husband was like, “I don’t think they put that out there like”,

…then the wife was like, “No”.

We did and the truth is that yes, we have spoken about our divorce.

We have mentioned it, and we in fact talked elaborately about it in the book, you can get the book for free at GetMyMarriageBack.com.

We talked elaborately about that in our book, on many videos and I’m about to talk about it again right now.

The truth of the matter is that we have spoken about our divorce and we have to talk about the divorce because,

…what a lot of people do with marriage and divorce is that it becomes like a big demon in their lives and their relationship, and then it eats up the relationship.

And when you don’t have a relationship, essentially, you don’t have a marriage because marriage is just the institution, that’s the paper stuff.

But there’s an underlying relationship that happens before you can even have a healthy marriage.

That’s why I wanted to share these,

My wife wants a divorce, how can I change her mind? – 5 tips, with you really quickly.

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Tip #1

You can’t change her mind, but your next moves will influence her final decision.

See, at the end of the day, we’re human beings.

We’re social beings and we are relating with each other on how safe we feel around each other.

And because of that, we do influence our own decisions.

Like the people around you, you know, you’ve heard that saying before,

… the top 5 people around you influence your decisions.

They influence your life, they influence the outcome of your life and so also is your marriage and your relationship.

That’s true for your marriage and your relationships as well.

Even though you can’t particularly change her mind, your next moves,

So I’m about to share 4 more tips on, My wife wants a divorce, how can I change her mind?

Your next moves will influence her final decision.

So let’s go on to,

Tip #2

Don’t put divorce on the pedestal.

Don’t make divorce a big of a deal than it is already.

Don’t make it a big of a deal than it is

It’s just divorce.

It just means somebody decides that they don’t wanna be a part of your life.

But it’s a decision that people can change their mind all the time.

So if you stick to Tip #1 like I said earlier,

Yes, she can change your mind based on the moves you’re gonna make.

Then again, don’t make divorce a big of a deal than it is.

It’s just at least in that moment in time, she hasn’t filed divorce yet.

It is just a decision, it is just “hey, I’m gonna ask for divorce”,it’s just a decision that can be changed.

Let me even tell you how good this is.

Even if she’s already filed for the divorce.

This was something that I learned that made it super easy for me to attract my wife back.

She had actually filed divorce before we got back together and the good news is that,

…the thing is that I had stumbled into stories of people that had filed divorce five years and they’ve been divorced for five years, they got back together.

I know people that have been divorced for a whole decade but they still got back together.

So if I know that all these possibilities are in place, the last thing I wanted to do was to put divorce on a pedestal.

Divorce is not as much of a big deal that people would like to make it seem.

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You know, a lot of religious people make divorce a big deal when they go to that part of the Bible where it says “God hates divorce”.

Think about the effect of that phrase on your mind.

It’s like, “Oh, God forbid

No, don’t do that.

Don’t put divorce on a pedestal.

God hates divorce, okay good but it’s a reality a lot of times.

Don’t make it a big deal.

The big deal here is the relationship you have with your wife.

You need to work on that.

That is faulty, and that’s the underlying reason why she’s asking for divorce.

Asking for divorce is a symptom you want to come back to the underlying reason.

What is the cause?

You’re worried about the effect, but let’s talk about the cause.

The cause is where you should be focused on.

In that same talking, I’m gonna give you

Tip #3

Don’t put marriage on a pedestal.

Marriage is cute and it’s beautiful when it’s nice but if you have a terrible relationship as the underlying structure of your marriage,

What’s the point?

So don’t put marriage on a pedestal.

I’d rather you focus on the relationship you have with your wife, than focusing on “God forbid, I don’t want the marriage to end”.

If you don’t want the marriage to end, that energy that you’re carrying around is gonna push your wife even further away.

Tip #4

Focus 100% on building yourself.

So not even the relationship, building yourself till you attract the love you desire.

And let me just add this, that you deserve.

If you focus on yourself, you will attract the appropriate type of love and it’s kind of easier if she’s already your wife.

She’s not gonna wanna let you go if you work on yourself and that’s a thought to show in your behaviors.

She’s not gonna wanna let you go.

So what you need to focus on 100% is building yourself.

There’s something about you that’s making you do the opposite of attracting your wife.

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Focus on that.

Work on that.

Don’t worry about changing her mind.

Worry about building yourself.

Tip #5

Be okay with the possibility of never attracting her again.

You see, there are forces beyond what you can see.

Especially when you’re dealing with relationships.

It’s a very spiritual thing.

So a lot of time you may think you want your wife back.

Maybe that’s not the case.

Maybe it’s just a matter of obsession that’s basically born out of the rejection.

Rejection breeds obsession.

So you may just not be able to see that clearly right now.

That’s why 100% of your focus needs to go into building yourself.

Because if she doesn’t belong in being your wife,

In that position of being your wife, she doesn’t need to be there.

But you may not be able to see that yet, because again you’re feeling obsessed.

You’re obsessed because of the rejection.

So again those are the 5 tips for, My wife wants a divorce, how can I change her mind?

if this is the right person for you, you will attract her back into a better and healthier relationship,

…which is also a better and healthier marriage if you just focus on yourself.

“How To APOLOGIZE To Your WIFE” – 7 Tips

Question: “How To APOLOGIZE To Your WIFE” – 7 Tips

You’ve offended your wife.

Things have happened.

Her feelings are hurt and you wanna apologize to your wife?

It could be anything from as simple as you hurt her feelings, you’re dismissive, you argue too much to infidelity.

Like something terribly bad.

Some kind of betrayal, betrayal of trust.

You know, whatever it is that’s going on.

There is some kind of crisis going on in your marriage and you feel the need to apologize to your wife right now.

Before I get into the 7 tips, there’s a quick story I want to show with you.

There’s a guy, a popular musician in Nigeria called Nice.

Basically he came out on the scene, some few weeks ago and he recorded a video, some two minutes video apologizing to his wife.

Then asking all 300,000 of his followers to help him apologize to his wife and then asked people to tag his wife.

He actually put the Instagram handle and asked people to tag his wife and help him apologize because he did something terrible.

And then we came to find out that what he did was that he cheated on his wife.

It’s actually a viral video that was floating all over the place of him serenading, grabbing the breast of another girl, a side chick if you will.

I guess that video came out and the wife is now shut down and I think, left the house and things like that.

Now, as soon as I saw that video, I knew that that was a wrong move.

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And why is that the wrong move?

I’m gonna share 7 tips with you and in these 7 tips, you would know that that’s in fact the wrong move.

It’s actually a work against him, his relationship and marriage more than do any kind of favor.

Now a lot of people, especially even ladies, saw that and they thought that was romantic.

You hear people saying “it’s very rare to see a man that will actually admit they’re wrong and actually apologize

While there may be some truth to that, that move of shooting the video, adding background music and apologizing to your wife publicly is the wrong move.

Why?

Tip #1

Never tender apologies after a betrayal (especially publicly), without taking the time to do the work.

So think about it,

if you are tendering an apology, your wife just found out that you offended her.

There is the need to fix things immediately, but that immediate need to fix things is emotional.

It’s purely emotional and you haven’t done any work.

It’s reactional.

You’re just reacting to the idea that you may have hurt your wife or that you hurt your wife.

Anytime you react in that way without putting proper thoughts behind it, a.k.a. the work behind the scenes,

It’s gonna work against you.

Your apology, in fact, is probably not authentic because again, you haven’t really processed what just happened.

You haven’t processed how you may have been wrong.

Your wife told you you’re wrong, maybe you’re not exactly wrong.

Maybe it’s not about right and wrong.

Maybe you’re wrong.

Whichever one it is, you haven’t taken the time to work on yourself.

So any kind of apology you tender is in fact fake and is more of a response than it is an authentic apology.

Tip #2

The best apology is always 100% changed behavior.

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Again, changed behavior does not happen overnight.

It’s not gonna happen because your wife caught you.

So that’s when you see people say, “Are you apologizing before, because you’re caught? or because you’re actually truly remorseful?”.

It is almost impossible to be remorseful when you get caught like that, because again, you haven’t processed it.

Tip #3

Most people who tender apology are doing so as a form of quick fix, and your victim (especially ladies), can smell a bad apology from thousands of miles away.

I think we’re just going in circles now.

It’s the same thing.

It’s a quick fix.

Apology that represents more of a quick fix will hurt your relationship, it will make the other person feel manipulated more than it to actually help anything.

Tip #4

You can have good intentions and still tender a bad apology.

Yes, your intentions are good.

You really want to just fix things.

You just want her to feel better, but she’s not gonna feel better..

Again, because you haven’t allowed her time to process what just happened,

…you haven’t processed what just happened.

All that happened is that you got caught.

Take the time off.

Relax.

So I understand that you feel bad, but feeling bad is not a changed behavior.

Like I said in tip #2, it’s not a changed behavior.

Good intention is not the same thing as good apology.

Good intention is not the same thing as changed behavior.

A changed behavior, when we’re talking about behavior, we’re not talking about habits and to change habits will take work.

In fact, an average habit takes 90 days of intense work on yourself before you can actually change a habit and behavior.

Tip #5

If you truly will change your behavior sustainably, If you want a lasting change of behavior, the change will be a function of time and patience.

It takes time and patience.

You can’t possibly be apologizing and think that your apology is authentic because you got caught.

You got caught, you feel bad is different from you feeling authentically remorseful.

You haven’t processed it.

In fact, you may have some resentments in yourself, but because your wife has rejected you right now, you just wanna be very quick to apologize.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that.

Tip #6

Public apologies only create more embarrassment for the victims.

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Especially when we’re talking about a celebrity.

But honestly, across board public apologies are just terrible.

They embarrass the victim a lot more than it actually makes them feel better because again they feel some type of embarrassment.

They are a little bit ashamed of what just happened but now you’re making it public,

…you’re not helping things.

That’s another reason why it must be a function of time and patience.

Because if you took the time, you would have thought that all the way through that “Hey, I know I have offended her but the worst thing that can do right now is to embarrass her even further”.

So you don’t want to do that.

Tip #7

Tender apology only after taking some time to process whatever happened,

Take the time.

It must be a function of time and patience.

But there’s an exception.

If your victim expresses an explicit request for an apology, if they’re saying “you owe me an apology”.

If you feel like you’ve offended them, then basically they’ve processed it enough to say, “Hey, you owe me an apology”.

You can say “I apologize”, keep it simple.

You don’t need to do that over and over again.

Again, the best thing you can do is take the time and patience and do the work that you need to do on changing the behavior and the habits.

If you’re not ready to do that, your apology is only gonna create more toxicity in your relationship or in your marriage.

It’s only gonna make things worse.

And you’re gonna build more resentments for every time you offend that same person in the same way, over and over again.

The resentment is just gonna get worse and worse.

So that’s how to apologize to your wife.

Time and patience.

Take the time and patience to work on yourself and work on changed behavior.

“Am I VERBALLY ABUSIVE To My Wife” – 5 Tips

So there are 5 tips I want to share with you to determine the answer to that question,

But before I get into that, there is a quick story that I wanna tell you.

I came across a video on YouTube by a gentleman called Kevin Samuels and apparently,

…he basically advised young ladies, single ladies, and people in general about relationships…and that’s cool.

I think we still need more people helping people like that.

We see more of negative videos with regards to relationships that people find more entertaining

Which actually ends up hurting their relationships.

I’m talking about reality TV shows and things like that.

So any time I see somebody helping people with learning how relationships work, I like it ultimately.

But I encountered the viral video from him where he was seemingly bashing this lady heavily.

He was very rude.

A lot of time people engage in the blunt language,

… talmbout’, they speak blunt.

As a matter of fact, I was on the new social media platform in the past few days, called Clubhouse,

…and I heard quite a few people who were thinking that the way to a healthy relationship is communication.

I’m not disputing that it’s communication, but what most people consider communication is just talking and being blunt,

or “setting the expectation” or “setting the intentions” and boundaries.

These are things that kill attraction if you have overdose of expressing them… extreme ideologies has a way of killing attraction.

So with that being said, Are You verbally abusive to your wife?

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There’s a good chance that you are feeling like you’ve been communicating,

…and in fact,

You’ve been killing the vibe and the relationship with your wife by being the “communicator”; basically the talkative of the relationship.

Believe me when I tell you this, I am the one that’s considered the communicator or the talkative in our relationship and marriage.

I don’t think so, but at least my wife considers to be true.

What I find is that it really doesn’t matter if I feel like I’m not the talkative.

What matters is…

Tip #1- It’s her opinion.

If she feels like you’re verbally abusive, that’s as valid as it gets.

The feelings have to be validated by paying attention to it and see how you can adjust things in a positive direction,

Because the feelings are powerful enough to determine the direction of your relationship with your wife.

So Tip#1 – It’s her opinion.

You have to listen to it, pay attention to it and see what she’s trying to say even if you disagree with it.

See what kind of action you have been taking that makes her feel like you’re talking too much or verbally abusive.

If you do that, it doesn’t mean you are agreeing that you are verbally abusive.

It just means you’re paying attention to whatever she is interpreting as “verbal abuse” and then you can fix that.

You can adjust or pivot accordingly because at the end of the day you care about the relationship.

That’s why you are asking if you are verbally abusive to you wife.

Tip #2 – You need a full tank of patience.

Towards the end of that Kevin Samuels’ viral video, he actually lost his cool and hung up on the lady.

And I know this is not his wife.

But in my opinion, if you are going to win in your relationship with your wife, you have to treat ladies in general with a certain level of respect and patience.

Much more importantly, the patience.

You can’t lose your cool, if you lose your cool,

…you can at least say

If you don’t mind, let me take care of some business and we’ll come back to this conversation later

You have to be polite with the way you dismiss the situation if you have to dismiss the situation.

Sometimes it’s true that you have to dismiss the conversation because you feel like it’s just not getting anywhere.

But you wanna be polite about it.

Particularly, you don’t want them to feel like you dismiss them.

This is something I’m personally still working on.

Sometimes, I just don’t want the toxic argument and I come off as dismissive.

It’s an art, it’s not an exact science.

Somethings… you have to learn with respect to the particular person you’re dealing with and their personality.

Tip #2 – You wanna make sure you engage these conversations with a full tank of patience; Infinite patience.

You can’t lose your cool.

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Tip #3 – Engage active listening.

If your lady accuses you of being verbally abusive, the first quick step to really nibbling that in the bud is to stop talking.

Stop talking so much even if your intentions is to correct.

There’s a lot of people that just have good intentions in wanting to correct something, and it comes off as verbal abuse and controlling behavior.

Remember tip #1, if it comes off as abusive, controlling and manipulative, then it is what it is…

Because it’s a relationship…

And just 50% is all you need to make that a full blown opinion that would control the dynamics and the direction of your relationship.

So instead of talking so much, don’t just shut up because that would be dismissive,

Engage active listening.

And I would say, repeat what she’s saying back to her and ask her to tell you more.

Tip #4 – Abuse is very likely unintentional.

There’s a lot of abuse going on in relationships and marriages.

And many times, they’re just unintentional…

Nobody (most people don’t) come(s) into a marriage with the intention of being abusive.

But sometimes when we lose our cool or the way we conduct ourselves in the middle of a crisis,

…we’ll come off as abusive to the other person

But keep in mind, there’s a crisis going on.

What you will find in a lot of relationships and marriages is that people are basically in the middle of normal engagement with a partner when they tend to end up with a crisis,

When everybody has lost their cool and there’s an active argument, fighting and bickering going on, then clearly nothing is intentional.

Everything is reactive and that’s not what you wanna do.

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Tip #5 – Reverse engineer corrections into her idea.

Like I said earlier, a lot of times the intention is to correct something that you feel maybe wrong.

But your intentions are overrated. In fact, your action is being received as verbally abusive.

And if it’s been received by 50% of the relationship as verbally abusive, unfortunately, I have to tell you that it is probably verbal abuse.

At least for now, it’s the feeling that counts. If your partner feels like it is verbally abusive, it is verbally abusive.

So instead of trying to correct and engaging in blunt languages to correct your partner as it comes, find ways to reverse engineer your corrections into her idea.

So how do you do that?

You need to learn how to ask quality questions.

There are questions that you will ask and you think they’re quality but they’re actually coming off as manipulative and condescending.

You want to avoid those types of questions and really master the skills of asking quality questions.

So things like…

So are you saying that I come off a little bit abusive?

I’m sorry to hear that.”

I didn’t mean to be abusive”.

Can you tell me what that looks like when I’m abusive because there’s a good chance I’m not aware that I’m being abusive?”

See, if you talk in that calm manner repeatedly…not just one time…

She will start feeling safer around you.

And then she will also give you a lot more passes even when you’re upset because you’re still a human being.

But right now, the work is gonna be on your part in order to reverse all that “verbally abusive” negative energy.

You want to reverse that, put in some work and be consistent until she starts feeling safer with you again,

…but I’m telling you right now, there’s a good chance that you were just being blunt.

That’s why Blunt is a terrible way of communicating in a relationship.

Listening is the best route to effective communication.

Less talking can sometime be the best way to communicate, especially if you’re a man trying to communicate with your wife.

“Can PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE Husbands CHANGE?” – 7 tips

Question: “Can PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE Husbands CHANGE?” – 7 tips

There are 7 tips that I want to give you that will help you answer that question.

Tip #1:  There is no such thing as absolute in relationships.

There’s no such thing as absolute in human behavior.

What I mean by that is the idea that

hey, once a cheater, always a cheater”,

once an abusive person, always an abusive person”,

once controlling, always controlling”, there’s no such thing.

You know why?

Because people evolve, people grow up, and by the way, the opposite can be true as well.

They can get worse with time if people don’t work on themselves.

Just like people can get worse with time, people can also get better.

Anyone you’ve ever known that’s enjoying a good marriage, a good relationship,

…they’ve been through some things that maybe represent the worst of them in the past.

It may look good right now, but they’ve been to something worse.

So you don’t wanna be in that position where you say “once a cheater, always a cheater”.

However, when people are showing their behavior to you right now, you do want to believe them but that’s just right now.

You also want to keep an open mind always when it comes to relationships.

Tip #2: Change follow pain and pleasure.

So if people are gonna change, if they’re gonna change behavior or habit, there has to be a big purpose behind it.

Sometimes that purpose is represented as a form of pain or some kind of pleasure that’s bigger than whatever benefits they get from the wrong behavior.

Just think of it like this, people change based on consequences.

If there’s a consequence for their behavior, there’s a good chance that would change, especially as a function of time and patience.

But if there’s no consequences, there’s a good chance that they will keep doing the same thing because they obviously get some kind of benefit from behaving that way.

So if that benefit keeps coming and it outweighs the risk, then they will continue that same behavior.

Tip #3: Lasting change is a process; It takes time.

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If you’re upset with your husband or with your wife, and you feel like, “Hey, they’re abusive” or anything like that,

It’s going to take a process, it’s going to take time.

Even if they’ve decided.

It’s a decision, it starts with the decision, right?

Even if they’ve decided to change, you have to keep an open mind and understand that it’s gonna be a process.

And you do everything in your part to help them move in the direction of the changed behavior.

Tip #4: People do experience growth and evolve.

I think I said that earlier, as part of tip #1.

There is no such thing as absolute people.

Tip #4 People do experience growth and evolve because their outlook on life is changing.

The more experience they gain, the more they see the advantages of going in the direction of a changed behavior.

Especially with respect to a healthy relationship and a marriage.

Tip #5: Old habits do die hard.

This is basically a kind of part of tip #3, when I say it’s gotta be a function of a  process, time and patience, old habits will take time.

For average habits, even simple habits take up to 90 days of intense work of consistency before that person can say, “You know what, this new behavior is becoming a second nature to me”.

So if somebody has been behaving badly, they’re showing some behavior like, for example, 

Physical abuse.

And they are capable of abusing a person physically, that’s gonna take work for them to change.

It may take some kind of rehabilitation for them to change.

So don’t sit there and risk your life and hoping they will change.

No, excuse yourself.

Physically speaking, you have to remove yourself physically and still keep an open mind that they may change.

But you really need to watch closely and see that they’re working on themselves and, in fact, that they’re changing,

…because people don’t just become physically abused.

They’ve been abusive emotionally, verbally before it escalates, and you can see if they’re changing.

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Let’s say, for example, you have kids with them.

They’re changing.

There’s change in their demeanor, in their mannerisms, how they show up, how they carry themselves.

You can see the changes before you start building trust again, 

…but I will say absolutely for your own safety from a physical standpoint, make sure you remove yourself physically and don’t count on,

That they would change like instantly tomorrow.

It’s a bad idea.

Now there’s a reason why I’m sharing these steps with you.

There’s actually a video that went viral from a lady who shot a video.

She got slapped.

There’s a big red plant of hand on her face by her husband.

She got beat up by the husband, and it was such a sad video that you could see the babies in the background saying, “I’m sorry, mommy” and things like that.

But within a day or two, like literally less than 48 hours, the governor of the state “reconcile” both of them and then they’re back together.

That’s a terrible behavior on the governor’s part.

There is no way somebody who is capable of physically abusing another human being can change in 48 hours, 

…without making sure they plugged them in on proper rehabilitation and making sure that they take time apart in order to come back together.

If there is a chance of ever coming back together.

They need to separate first.

It’s going to be a function of time, process and patience.

And it’s not possible that he could change within 24 to 48 hours.

That’s where this lesson is actually coming from.

Tip #6: Change starts with acknowledgement.

If a person is saying,“Hey, you know, I don’t think I was abusive”,

…then they haven’t changed.

Acknowledging is a nice place to start from, but that’s not the work.

Yes, I was wrong“.

It’s a nice place to start from, but that’s not the work.

The work has to be done.

Tip #7: Change starts with self help.

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So self help, again is a function of time.

It’s a process.

At least 90 days of consistent, intensive work on what are behind the scene things that happen mentally,

…that will make a man raise their hands and assault another human being.

How much more, we’re talking about the wife?

So it takes time, patience and process if anybody is going to change.

But is it possible to change?

Yes, absolutely.

The only absolute here is yes.

They can change, but there’s a keyword, “can change”.

There’s also the odds against that person that they may not change, because again, old habits do die hard.

That’s tip #5.

So if it’s a behavior, if it’s a habit, if they don’t do the work on themselves,

A lot of people, a significant percentage of people never do the work.

That’s why it feels like they never change.

But it is possible to change if they actually go through the work.

And that’s just life.

can physically abusive husbands change

5 Signs Your Wife DOESN’T RESPECT YOU

Question: “5 Signs Your Wife DOESN’T RESPECT YOU”

First of all, let me give you a bonus sign with all the wraps.

Right from the beginning the bonus sign is that,

If you’re asking this question,

…that is a sign that your wife does not respect you.

At the very minimum, you don’t feel like they respect you.

I understand some of us are over defensive, and sometimes we’re very emotional.

We are sensitive and we start looking at everything that’s disrespectful.

There are many of us who are like that.

Let me give you five signs your wife doesn’t respect you.

She doesn’t respect you.

If your wife doesn’t respect you, she can’t love you.

That’s impossible.

It’s not possible for a person who doesn’t respect you to love you.

Does that make sense?

Let’s get into the five signs really quickly:

1. She utters rude remarks.

She says rude things to you.

What do I mean by rude remarks?

She calls you “stupid” or “you’re dumb” and things like that.

If your wife uses words like that to talk to you and it’s not your thing to just do that, then that’s probably disrespectful.

Some people would argue and say,

No, that’s just how we do. That’s how we roll.”.

If you’re so sure that is how you roll, then there’s no need to ask the question if she’s respectful or not.

I’m telling you typically, a woman who respect you will not call you dumb, stupid or names and derogatory words or anything like that.

If she utters rude remarks, it could not be name calling, it maybe simple things like “you don’t even think”.

Like if you are talking about finances and she’s very quick to go to “you don’t even think“.

Or she thinks you should be a little bit more aggressive with looking for another job and she has rude remarks with regards to,

You’re not doing what she thinks” and things like that.

If you consider rude remarks, there’s a good chance that she doesn’t respect you.

Especially if you’ve told her that you don’t enjoy that.

2. She gives you the silent treatment.

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Whenever you’re having a conversation with your wife and then somehow she’s just quiet.

She is on the phone key keying every time you have a conversation, that is probably a good sign that she does not respect you.

Now there are moments like that, that a significant other or spouse may be caught up a little bit in some other conversation.

That’s okay.

But if you notice that it’s a consistent thing and that’s all wrapped up in every other sign that I’m gonna tell you right now,

…there’s a good chance that she doesn’t respect you.

3. She doesn’t sought after your advice and opinion.

Like she doesn’t even ask you, “what do you think?”.

You guys don’t have that conversation.

She’s never found that place where she could say, “what do you think”.

Now People don’t just fall into your world and become your wife like that.

Usually some things have happened over the years that put a woman in a place where she doesn’t care what you think.

Much less asking you what you think, but that’s a good sign right there.

And there’s a good chance that she doesn’t respect you if she never comes home from work and says, “what do you think?”.

Just think about that.

That’s just one sign and if she is just like that, then you would know.

You wouldn’t be asking the question if you respect you or not.

4. She seems to honor other people’s advice and opinion more.

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Even though you give your opinion and advice sometimes she seems to like to listen to other people.

She listens to her mother, her sister, her brothers, siblings or her friends.

She would rather listen to them and she tends to operate off of what they tell her,

…their advice and opinions more than she does whatever you say.

And you noticed it.

If this is happening so much that you’re noticing it, there’s a good chance that she does not respect you.

And if she doesn’t respect you, she can’t love you.

That’s scientifically proven.

5. She doesn’t defend you when necessary.

Yes.

Sometimes as people in relationships or in marriage you find yourself talking to your friend,

…and your friend has some rude remarks about your spouse.

Naturally, the other person, you’re supposed to defend your spouse.

Like “don’t talk to him like that” because they respect you.

They would defend you.

It may be sort of like “No, no, no. Leave my husband alone” or “No, no, no. Leave my wife alone and get out of my face”.

Things like that.

Little remarks like that show that they value you.

And if none of those things happen and it seems like they actually get on the side of the other people to attack you,

…and this is happening over and over and over again from time to time, it’s a good chance that she just doesn’t respect you.

Those are the 5 signs your wife doesn’t respect you.

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If she doesn’t respect you, she can’t love you.

What do you do if you find yourself in this predicament?

That you’ve determined, like three out of these five signs are happening in your marriage.

What do you do?

The first thing that you need to understand is that,

…her behavior is congruent with your behavior with regards to self respect.

If you don’t respect yourself, no one can respect you.

That’s probably something you need to work on if you want that to change.

You need to work on self respect.

There are things that you’re doing,

…I don’t know what those things are, but you need to pay attention and do the inventory.

There are things that you’re doing that shows that you don’t respect yourself, and she can’t respect you accordingly.

What do you do now?

Focus on those things.

Find out what you’re doing that is showcasing you as a person who would lack self respect and fix that.

I can tell you right now,

1. God.

You’re probably disconnected from yourself spiritually.

2. Personal purpose.

You’re not engaged with your personal purpose, you’re spending too much time on too much nonsense, little petty stuff.

Obviously one of them is having this kind of attention to even know that somebody does not respect you.

There’s a good chance that you’re defensive, you’re insecure and things like that will show up,

…and then a woman cannot respect you.

That’s usually a sign that you’re not engaged with your personal purpose because people that engage with their personal purpose,

…no matter how little it seems, people respect them.

They have no choice, they have to respect you.

3. Self respect.

You need to respect yourself.

Remove yourself from unnecessary conversations and let her come to you.

Allow her to come to you.

Think about how you guys started and see if you can bring the dynamics back by living some space.

You have to give yourself some space, give her some space so she can start gaining respect back.

Keep in mind that respect is earned, you can’t force people to respect you.

In this scenario, respect is not an action word,

…you cannot force people to respect you.