Question: “My wife wants a divorce how can I change her mind?” – 5 tips
I want to share 5 tips with you on getting the best chance to change her mind.
You know, at the end of the day, it’s not a 100% chance.
It’s never gonna be a 100% chance that you would change your mind.
But if you follow these 5 tips I’m about to share with you, you would dramatically increase the chances that she would change her mind.
Before I get into the 5 tips, there’s a quick story I want to share with you.
Just some few weeks ago, I was watching a review of a podcast that Lola and I were on as a guest.
There was a review.
We happen to make the top 5 of the podcast episodes on that podcast,
…and the husband and the wife, who is also a family friend, Bola and Mac were talking about the divorce that my wife asked for some years back.
And the husband was like, “I don’t think they put that out there like”,
…then the wife was like, “No”.
We did and the truth is that yes, we have spoken about our divorce.
We have mentioned it, and we in fact talked elaborately about it in the book, you can get the book for free at GetMyMarriageBack.com.
We talked elaborately about that in our book, on many videos and I’m about to talk about it again right now.
The truth of the matter is that we have spoken about our divorce and we have to talk about the divorce because,
…what a lot of people do with marriage and divorce is that it becomes like a big demon in their lives and their relationship, and then it eats up the relationship.
And when you don’t have a relationship, essentially, you don’t have a marriage because marriage is just the institution, that’s the paper stuff.
But there’s an underlying relationship that happens before you can even have a healthy marriage.
That’s why I wanted to share these,
My wife wants a divorce, how can I change her mind? – 5 tips, with you really quickly.
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You can’t change her mind, but your next moves will influence her final decision.
See, at the end of the day, we’re human beings.
We’re social beings and we are relating with each other on how safe we feel around each other.
And because of that, we do influence our own decisions.
Like the people around you, you know, you’ve heard that saying before,
… the top 5 people around you influence your decisions.
They influence your life, they influence the outcome of your life and so also is your marriage and your relationship.
That’s true for your marriage and your relationships as well.
Even though you can’t particularly change her mind, your next moves,
So I’m about to share 4 more tips on, My wife wants a divorce, how can I change her mind?
Your next moves will influence her final decision.
So let’s go on to,
Don’t put divorce on the pedestal.
Don’t make divorce a big of a deal than it is already.
Don’t make it a big of a deal than it is
It’s just divorce.
It just means somebody decides that they don’t wanna be a part of your life.
But it’s a decision that people can change their mind all the time.
So if you stick to Tip #1 like I said earlier,
Yes, she can change your mind based on the moves you’re gonna make.
Then again, don’t make divorce a big of a deal than it is.
It’s just at least in that moment in time, she hasn’t filed divorce yet.
It is just a decision, it is just “hey, I’m gonna ask for divorce”,it’s just a decision that can be changed.
Let me even tell you how good this is.
Even if she’s already filed for the divorce.
This was something that I learned that made it super easy for me to attract my wife back.
She had actually filed divorce before we got back together and the good news is that,
…the thing is that I had stumbled into stories of people that had filed divorce five years and they’ve been divorced for five years, they got back together.
I know people that have been divorced for a whole decade but they still got back together.
So if I know that all these possibilities are in place, the last thing I wanted to do was to put divorce on a pedestal.
Divorce is not as much of a big deal that people would like to make it seem.
You know, a lot of religious people make divorce a big deal when they go to that part of the Bible where it says “God hates divorce”.
Think about the effect of that phrase on your mind.
It’s like, “Oh, God forbid”
No, don’t do that.
Don’t put divorce on a pedestal.
God hates divorce, okay good but it’s a reality a lot of times.
Don’t make it a big deal.
The big deal here is the relationship you have with your wife.
You need to work on that.
That is faulty, and that’s the underlying reason why she’s asking for divorce.
Asking for divorce is a symptom you want to come back to the underlying reason.
What is the cause?
You’re worried about the effect, but let’s talk about the cause.
The cause is where you should be focused on.
In that same talking, I’m gonna give you
Don’t put marriage on a pedestal.
Marriage is cute and it’s beautiful when it’s nice but if you have a terrible relationship as the underlying structure of your marriage,
What’s the point?
So don’t put marriage on a pedestal.
I’d rather you focus on the relationship you have with your wife, than focusing on “God forbid, I don’t want the marriage to end”.
If you don’t want the marriage to end, that energy that you’re carrying around is gonna push your wife even further away.
Focus 100% on building yourself.
So not even the relationship, building yourself till you attract the love you desire.
And let me just add this, that you deserve.
If you focus on yourself, you will attract the appropriate type of love and it’s kind of easier if she’s already your wife.
She’s not gonna wanna let you go if you work on yourself and that’s a thought to show in your behaviors.
She’s not gonna wanna let you go.
So what you need to focus on 100% is building yourself.
There’s something about you that’s making you do the opposite of attracting your wife.
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Focus on that.
Work on that.
Don’t worry about changing her mind.
Worry about building yourself.
Be okay with the possibility of never attracting her again.
You see, there are forces beyond what you can see.
Especially when you’re dealing with relationships.
It’s a very spiritual thing.
So a lot of time you may think you want your wife back.
Maybe that’s not the case.
Maybe it’s just a matter of obsession that’s basically born out of the rejection.
Rejection breeds obsession.
So you may just not be able to see that clearly right now.
That’s why 100% of your focus needs to go into building yourself.
Because if she doesn’t belong in being your wife,
In that position of being your wife, she doesn’t need to be there.
But you may not be able to see that yet, because again you’re feeling obsessed.
You’re obsessed because of the rejection.
So again those are the 5 tips for, My wife wants a divorce, how can I change her mind?
if this is the right person for you, you will attract her back into a better and healthier relationship,
…which is also a better and healthier marriage if you just focus on yourself.