“Is PHYSICAL A Worse Offense Than EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY?”📍 John Gray

Question: “Is PHYSICAL A Worse Offense Than EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY?”

So John Gray got caught basically, and there is a video of him coming out talking to a side chick about his wife…

that the wife only gives pizza to the babies for dinner.

I don’t understand why men put their wives down.

Who cares if your wife is feeding you pizza in the house?

If you don’t like it you get in the kitchen or if you had a problem with that, why didn’t you talk to me?

Maybe I am not the easiest to talk to, but then maybe you can get yourself in the kitchen or come up with ideas…

Like getting a chef that would cook for us on a daily basis.

On one of John Gray’s Videos he said:

“This was not physical or sexual. I’ve only ever been with one woman, that is my wife.”

What do we have to say about that?

Saying that he is not physical but he is emotional, what difference does he make?

You are talking to another woman and being emotional is just like you already slept with a person…

because everywhere that your wife has been with you, they get to experience that.

You have bared your heart to this person.

Is Physical a worse offense than emotional infidelity?

If you have an emotional affair and that’s all you did and then you got caught, dude you missed out.

You might as well sleep with the person because you are going to receive equal amounts of scrutiny.

It’s just as bad.

You are going to hurt that person just as much, if not more because now you are going to be telling her that “I’ve never slept with this person”.

Now they are gonna look at you like a liar because they will never believe you.

They will punish you that much more because they are thinking in their head “no you already slept with this person”.

I mean honestly how would they know?

They weren’t there with you.

So if you were already sharing intimate conversations with your side chick and trying to bring her to the same hotel where you and your wife would go…

You might as well just have slept with the lady so you could just say “you know you are right. I slept” so you could get away quickly…

PREVIOUS POST: “What Do You Do When Someone REJECTS Your APOLOGY?”📍 John Gray

And maybe she will accept your apology a lot faster.

You are in the worst place when you truthfully haven’t slept with that person.

It’s the truth but she is not gonna believe you and your punishment will be twice.

So if you are going to apologize at all, the last thing you want to bring up is “it wasn’t physical”.

Dude, it doesn’t matter if it was physical or not… and pastor John Gray should know better.

Bottom line is that you are exchanging these intimate moments that are only designed for you and your wife… you broke that trust.

It’s the trust that you broke, that is the issue and not what really happened physically.

She doesn’t care if you slept with that person or not.

In fact, you putting that in the midst of your apology is making things worse.

So, Is Physical a worse offense than emotional infidelity?

TRENDING: Unhappy Marriage But Can’t Leave ❤️ Does he Love Me⁉️

If that’s the question, it’s backwards… emotional is worse because you are going to get punished that much.

Even in terms of wasting all that energy on emotion, you might as well just go all in.

Once you start lusting after that, you have already sinned.

John Gray needs to get it together when it comes to that and I understand the pressure of being a pastor and also being human…

But that’s the part where you couldn’t stop walking.

The pressure has to be a lot more because he is a pastor.

And then he was saying that his wife does not feed them anything else but pizzas…

Come on, why are you saying these things about your wife?

Why are you painting your wife bad?

Is it to get empathy from your side chick or something?

I don’t understand.

This is common in some men, I won’t say all men because not all men do that…

some men, they will trash their wife just so they can get sympathy pussy.

If you have to trash one woman to get another woman, you don’t have a gain and you are a sorry case.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

That’s something that even young men who are not necessarily married should know.

Like if you broke up with somebody, always be good to them because they came into your life for a reason, you chose them.

So when you start speaking bad of them, you are speaking of yourself.

Like I said, it’s a lack of gain when you do that.

But some people are in a weak place, when they are engaged in an emotional affair.

Like a lot of people until they bring a baby into this world, they actually always had no intention of doing it.

If the devil approaches us with intentions, all of us will be perfect if we just make sure we have good intentions right.

Good intentions are overrated for a reason because the devil knows like “you don’t have that intention, but you are lacking emotionally somewhere”

so he is going to bring someone who is going to fill that gap.

Then when that person fills that gap, you are still gonna be in denial like, “no I would never do that”

… and just wait and wait and wait until you are comfortable enough and admit that it really did happen.

“How Do I APOLOGIZE for HURTING My Wife?”📍 John Gray

Question: “How do I apologize for hurting my wife?

John Gray is in the hot seat right now and is probably hoping that this whole thing will die down but he is not helping either because he issued an apology and I think we should play the apology first before we get into anything .

Here is John Gray’s apology:

I wanna take this moment to tell you I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the areas of my life that I left unattended. That I was apathetic about. The areas where I have treated the calling of God, the grace of God and a hand of God casually in my life. For every area of behavior that has dishonor the holiness of God, I wanna tell you I’m sorry. There have been a number of things and blogs, some of them accurate, some of it not…

His apology maybe is the right thing to do because he is a pastor in the church.

But talking to his wife, it just feels like it will cause more embarrassment.

For me, I don’t like the loud noise.

That’s bringing so much attention to us so in the moment we should shut it down.

TRENDING: 5 Signs Your wife is NOT Attracted to You ❤️

Let’s be quiet in the moment…

How do I apologize for hurting my wife?

What’s the right way to do that?

I don’t think you need to apologize to your wife in public… that can be done privately.

Apologizing in public is just an immediate reaction trying to save face, especially when the issues are so fresh right?

One thing you don’t want to do is feeding to the media,

… like right now they are talking about you and the next thing you wanna do is “Oh I’m sorry… blah blah blab

The natural thing to do is want to react so I feel that he should have just left that for the moment and deal with his issues privately.

Church, yes because he is a pastor and I understand that he needs to say something, but I don’t like the public.


Well maybe the wife likes that, or she prefers that, but I don’t know because there are different kinds of women.

Some women can be like “you know what you dragged me out there, then I want you to apologize to me publicly“.

For me personally it doesn’t help.

I always come from the standpoint of “you are right”.

If you think you are right, you are right!… like who am i?, I don’t have the right to tell you you are not right.

That’s applicable to everything in life including relationship, marriage, apologies or whatever.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

If you feel like the right thing for you to do is to apologize, then you are right…

Now is that going to create the result you want, that is the story that we really should be talking about.

See, if you are worried about whether it is the right thing to do or not, you are always right.

Whatever you feel is right is right.

Is that gonna create the result that you’re looking to achieve, that’s where the work is and that’s where a lot of people miss it.

With that being said, the only time it will be right for you to tender an apology to either a wife or husband or anybody is when that person is asking for it.

Why?

Because you listen, that person is asking for it.

So if the person is asking for it and you truly feel that you should apologize, and there is nothing wrong with apologizing but if you are tendering an apology as a form of reaction to being called out.

You just got called out… you did something wrong and you just want to fix it immediately for the misery to go away.

The first thing that goes to your mind is to say I’m sorry.

That I’m sorry is gonna do more hurt.

It can be considered manipulation because you are manipulating.

That apology will hurt more than it will help you create the result you are looking for.

So, How Do I APOLOGIZE for HURTING my wife?

Well, first of all the best apology is Changed Behavior.

That’s gonna take time so there’s time and patience involved.

That means they may not be willing to hear you out right now, the best thing you want to do is stay away from giving them your mouth in every way that you can think of.

You stay away from that.

Let things calm down.

Let things simmer before you give apologies.

That’s why the apology that John Gray gave is premature.

It cannot possibly be authentic because it’s a reaction form of apology…

but how do I apologize for hurting my wife?

Listen…

Changed Behavior.

Take your time.

If she asks for an apology, then you can tender that in the form of words but the best apology is not words.

Your apology in the form of words is a lot more useful when the person is asking for it.

What is Infidelity ❤️ Does it Make Marriage a Mistake⁉️

What is infidelity? In a marriage…

When one party engages in intimate relationships with a person outside of the marriage.

Some call it cheating… some call it an affair, and others call it Infidelity.

Study shows some statistics below… How common is infidelity?

  • 20% of men reported that they cheated sexually
  • 13% of women reported that they cheated sexually
  • 16% of ALL ADULTS reported that they cheated sexually

But under age 30, the numbers are different.

  • 10% of men under 30 reported that they cheated sexually
  • 11% of women under 30 reported that they cheated sexually

General Social Survey 2010–2016 by the National Opinion Research Council – University of Chicago

via PsychologyToday.com

Keep in mind that these are just the reported; a whole lot more will take that secret to their graves.

What is Infidelity in a Marriage? DEADLY

But what I can tell you is that betrayal is human characteristic…

And you should have proper expectations of humans when you marry one.

It is important to NOT lead into marriage with

….the daily fear of cheating, affairs, or infidelity.

That won’t help you.

This is one of those aspects of a marriage where you need God or whatever helps you maintain divine peace.

In addition, an affair can either be physical or emotional; and off course it can be a hybrid of both.

Whether infidelity represents the end of or deal breaker in a marriage is not a rule anywhere.

It completely depends on the parties and the uniqueness of their relationship and the underlying friendship.

Below is a question for us to address matters of infidelity in a marriage once and for all…

“I need to stop being negative and nagging.

I need to learn to listen to him and respect him.

He’s talking about this marriage might be a mistake; I need lots of prayer.”

Just keep in mind that respect, trust and submission are earned.

Enjoy the video.

Get My Marriage Back | Paperback/Kindlebook | FREE Audiobook


Before we dive into more details about infidelity…

Let’s answer the question as it will help with fundamentals.

In order to survive a crisis in any type of relationships

(especially a marriage), you can’t afford to undermine the power of an overall positive attitude.

Therefore if you are dealing with a negative and/or shutdown spouse, it will take a tremendous emotional energy to maintain your cool.

As I said earlier, respect is earned.

Just as trust and submission, all these actions are driven in a marriage as effects and not a cause.

Sure you can deliberately initiate them.

But it will eventually drain you emotionally if you are not aware of the underlying attraction level that initially brought you and you spouse together.

That is to say, if you are not presently attracted to your husband, it won’t last much long if you force yourself to respect him.

So in the long run, you need to address the cause of the low attraction level.

You have to also respect and love yourself enough to attract the type of love you deserve from your spouse.

It is natural for couples to go through this over time as complacency kicks in.

So I am saying that it is natural to take each other for granted over-time.

Is your marriage a mistake?

There is no relationship that is a mistake and here is why.

Every relationship you engage in your life must be regarded as an opportunity to grow.

It’s part of the interpretations you must add to your efforts of positive attitude.

Because that energy will drive a lot more other actions that will drive your spouse to do right by you.

Subsequently, it will propagate energy that will attract the types of relationship and may be another marriage that will serve you.

Can we agree that the marriage you have right now is bad especially if infidelity is involved?

Therefore it’s time to build a brand-new marriage with or without the same and present spouse.

That attitude gives you your best chance of attracting your present spouse to do right by you if that’s in fact what you want.

Effectively, if you lead with the attitude that it “MUST” be the same spouse,

Your desperate energy will push him or her away further.

Sure we all need prayer.

The scripture says….

“Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.”

James 2:17 New King James Version (NKJV)

The Real Meaning of Infidelity

The truth of the matter is that infidelity is involved whenever a promise is broken in your marriage.

It doesn’t have to be sexual in nature.

Therefore, any type of promise that was made in your vows no matter how little is seems will result in infidelity.

What is the difference between infidelity and adultery?

Adultery is more specific of a way to describe sexual related betrayal in a marriage.

But it’s an effect.

In order to fix adultery as one of the many types of infidelity, we have to go deeper into causes; Root Cause Analysis.

Of course it’s easier to point the most fingers at the person who engaged sexually with another outside of the marriage.

Most of the infidelity that happens in marriages has nothing to do with sexual behaviors.

However all of the different types of infidelities create resentments and complacency over-time.

For example, if you promised to be there for richer or poorer…

But then catch attitude last week because he was broke financially, that’s a form of infidelity.

In addition, catching negative attitude in the midst of any crisis does not solve it; it expands the emotional effect of it.

So, you’d agree that marriage has probably been infected with infidelity and needs work right?

I am by no means telling you that cheating or having an affair outside of the marriage is any easier to deal with.

All I am saying is that those types tend to be the most obvious to judge people with.

It’s very important that you use that to adjust your perspective in order to attract the love and marriage that you deserve.

Judgment, guilt, and blame will harm you, your relationships and especially any children involved.

Therefore you have to rise above the obvious emotions such anger, resentments, rage that you will naturally feel…

If you are on the receiving end of an infidelity.

That’s going to take work, but it’s doable and it’s your best shot at attracting happiness again.

So should you Stay in the Marriage After Infidelity?

It depends on your particular relationship.

If it’s taking you more than 3 months to at least forgive, you probably should consider separation first.

Because it’s not helpful for any of the parties for the other to live in mystery.

Time apart may just be what you need to appreciate life, the marriage or both again.

That same time apart may help a perpetual adulterer make a decision to nurture what they value…

And have clarity of where he or she belongs (with you or someone else).

Having out in that dark spot for longer than 3 month tends to create more and more emotional damage in you, your spouse and even any children that may be involved.

But marriage is usually not easy to just throw away.

If it was easy, you probably would not have that question.

Ask yourself this question however…

Are you running from your problems obviously entangled up in infidelity right now?

As I have said, the problem is deeper than the effects

Of which some of them are cheating, affairs and infidelity.

Minimum of 50% of this (though not your fault) is your problem.

So if your quick solution is to leave the marriage, you will effectively take 50% of the problem with you.

Hence why 76% of marriages to divorces ends in about 2 years according to many studies.

It will help you ensure that you work on yourself before concluding that leaving is the solution.


How to Practically Rebuild Trust Even After Infidelity

When you first met your spouse, it was natural to trust because attractions high.

It’s easy to be in love and trust a person that you truly don’t know.

The reality is that you couldn’t possible love them though.

That trust was fake in essence.

Now that you are dealing with the after effects and emotions from infidelity, the real work is needed.

Anything that’s worthwhile in life will take work.

It was never practical to trust another human at the level that we do in a marriage.

That’s why I always say, people that say ‘I do’ don’t know what they are doing.

It doesn’t even matter how much pre-marital counseling you have before, you simply couldn’t comprehend what you were about to do.

So I get it

Trust can be hard to rebuild once it has been breached by a spouse but it’s do able.

But, I have to tell.

Holding your marriage and specially your happiness hostage because of trust issues will not help you.

Here are some scriptures that warned you about trust and its application to infidelity recovery…

It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.

Psalm 118:8 ESV

Thus says the Lord: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord.

Jeremiah 17:5 ESV

You are not even supposed to trust yourself; much less another person.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV

Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.

Proverbs 28:26 ESV

Listen…

It’s natural for you to feel hurt and wallow in the mystery of it for a while.

But it’s time for you to realize that you deserve happiness and take the bulls by the horn.

How?

Leave all your trust issues in the hands of God and start living.

That’s easier said than done but hearing it or reading it from me might as well be the first step in the right direction.

Infidelity can be emotional and even more painful.

Is an adulterer always an adulterer?

You’ve heard the saying, “once a cheater always a cheater.”

That’s absolutely an impossible lie.

It’s a lie that can hold you hostage even long after your spouse has repented due to…

A larger purpose than the seduction and excitement they may have derived from their past transgression.

Here is a quick 2 step-solution to that.

  1. Do the work that will attract him or her to re-commit back into a brand-new marriage with you.
  2. Let go and forgive yourself for attracting the old marriage.
  3. Enjoy your new marriage one day at a time.

As you can see, none of the step has anything to do with putting the focus on fixing your spouse.

The work must be done from the inside to attract what you want on the outside.

What is the main reason for infidelity?

Of course in the long term, loyalty will benefit and create joy as opposed to short-term excitement.

But People cheat mainly for a lack of a larger purpose than the pleasure and excitement of secrecy.

It’s a choice but it’s also a choice that most humans are never too holy to make.

Most people just need the right circumstances to align to find themselves choosing pleasure over loyalty in the short term.

10+ Causes of Infidelity

Circumstances can include but not limited to:

  1. Not receiving enough attention from the significant other,
  2. Inappropriate engagement with friendly acquaintances,
  3. Low self esteem
  4. Immaturity
  5. Background and childhood trauma
  6. Belief system
  7. Low attraction
  8. Unmatched libido level
  9. Retaliation for past transgression

(10) 12…Principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Ephesians 6:12, King James Version

But it’s never your fault when your significant other makes a choice to have an affair.

However you may have helped create one of the circumstances that align the opportunity for short-term human excitement.

They could have also chosen to rise above.

But judgment, blame, and guilt or self-guilt won’t help.

It’s time to understand “WHY” at a deeper level and attract an infidelity free brand new marriage.

The best chances of a lifetime joy is with a repented spouse because you are now both equipped with knowledge

Which becomes power when you both apply to a daily loving marriage for the rest of your lives.

Treat it on a daily basis…

Because obsession with the past and tomorrow will drown your relationships and especially your marriage.

Marriage counseling can help a great deal with communication skills… but check out the success statistics of marriage counseling here

If friendship with an opposite sex that you are personally friends with, an ex or a blast from the past is involved,

Respect yourself by allowing your spouse to go and sort that out before starting your brand-new marriage with them.

No one with healthily give you what you can’t give yourself.

Therefore if you can’t love and respect yourself, your spouse can’t love and respect you.

Are you STRUGGLING in your... MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP?

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I know...

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IT'S BROKEN...

"Can it be saved?"

...And maybe you still even live in the house with your spouse as roommates, barely any sex or intimacy and probably in denial.

I get it.

You wonder...

"Is that the inevitable supposed and purposed end for marriages?"

You know you didn't bargain for such a painful experience.

In this FREE Book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK", you will discover the UNCOMMON secrets of...

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It feels very dark in your matrimonial home and you can’t even share your ordeal with anyone.

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But the very act of communication digs deeper and deeper holes of arguments, fights, emotional aches and more.

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They have all caught feelings.

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We know what that feels like.

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What is infidelity?

In a marriage, it is generally referred to as infidelity when one party engages in intimate relationships with a person outside of the marriage.

What is the difference between infidelity and adultery?

Adultery is more specific of a way to describe sexual related betrayal in a marriage.

What is considered infidelity?

The truth of the matter is that infidelity is involved whenever a promise is broken in your marriage.

What is the main reason for infidelity?

People cheat mainly for a lack of a larger purpose than the pleasure and excitement of secrecy.

How common is infidelity?

Here are some statistics that I found….
• 20% of men reported that they cheated sexually
• 13% of women reported that they cheated sexually
• 16% of ALL ADULTS reported that they cheated sexually
But under age 30, the numbers are different.
• 10% of men under 30 reported that they cheated sexually
• 11% of women under 30 reported that they cheated sexually

OUT OF LOVE OR CHEATER? ❤️ Infidelity In A Marriage

QUESTION ⁉️ “What if your husband tells you he is falling out of love with you because he is not happy with the life he has with you?

He is now seeing another girl from his old job. I don’t know what to do; I feel helpless.

He tries to argue with me on every issue. He threatens divorce every other day and I won’t be able to survive that.”

ENJOY THE VIDEO.

How To Save My Marriage After I Cheated On My Wife

“MY UNFAITHFUL WIFE ⁉️” ❤️ Get My Marriage Back 14

QUESTION ⁉️ “I caught my wife twice being unfaithful.

I asked her how come she is like this. She said because I don’t give her attention.

So I said, when I don’t give you the attention you need, I should worry about you flirting with other men behind my back?

Now she feels insulted because I don’t trust her.”

Saving your marriage after infidelity and lies is absolutely possible; not easy but simple. It takes a high level of personal emotional intelligence and strength.

The fact that it is not easy is what makes it extremely rewarding as you will discover in this video.

ENJOY THE VIDEO.

How To Save Marriage After Infidelity And Lies