The stages of divorce grief are similar to the stages of grief that occur when someone dies.
The stages are shock and disbelief, pain and sorrow, anger and resentment, bargaining and guilt, and acceptance and hope. The order in which the stages occur may vary from person to person.
Some people may skip some of the stages or move through them more quickly than others.
It is important to allow yourself to grieve the loss of your marriage and not try to rush through the process.
1. Shock and disbelief: This is often the first stage after learning that your divorce is final. You may feel numb, have difficulty processing what has happened, and experience many other emotions, including sadness, anger, fear, and relief.
2. Pain and sorrow: As the reality of your divorce sets in, you will likely experience deep feelings of loss and grief.
You may find yourself crying often, feeling depressed, and struggling to cope with the changes in your life.
3. Anger and resentment: It is common to feel a range of negative emotions during this stage, including anger, bitterness, resentment, and frustration. You may lash out at your former spouse, friends, and family members.
4. Bargaining and guilt: During this stage, you may find yourself trying to negotiate with your former spouse or hoping for a reconciliation. You may also feel guilty about the divorce and blame yourself for the situation.
5. Acceptance and hope: In this final stage, you accept that the divorce is final and begin to move on with your life.
You may still feel sad and miss your former spouse, but you are able to start rebuilding your life. You may also feel hopeful about the future and find new meaning in your life.
Tips on Coping with Separation and Divorce
1. Recognize That Your Marriage Is Over: This can be difficult to accept, but it is an important step in the grieving process. Once you come to terms with the fact that your marriage is over, you can begin to move on.
2. Be Patient — Grief Takes Time: The stages of grief do not always happen in a linear fashion. You may move back and forth between stages or even skip some altogether.
3. Surround Yourself With People Who Support You — And Let Them Help: It can be helpful to talk to friends and family members who have gone through a divorce. They can offer guidance and support.
4. Practice Excellent Self-Care: During this difficult time, it is important to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Make sure to eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly.
5. Feel Your Feelings: It is normal to feel a range of emotions after your divorce. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of your marriage.
6. Find Out What’s There Besides Anger, Sadness, And Fear: As you move through the grieving process, you may find that you have new insights about yourself and your life. Allow yourself to explore these new perspectives.
7. Timebox Your Grief: Set aside specific times each day to grieve the loss of your marriage. This can help you to avoid becoming overwhelmed by your emotions.
8. Don’t Hide Your Divorce Grief From Your Kids (But Don’t Freak Them Out, Either)
It is important, to be honest with your children about your divorce. However, you should avoid sharing too much information or putting them in the middle of the situation.
9. Write It Out, Work It Out, Or Just plain Talk It Out: Journaling, therapy, and talking to friends and family members can all be helpful ways to cope with your divorce.
10. Stop Blaming Your Ex and Start Forgiving Them (and Yourself) One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to let go of any resentment and blame you may feel. This can be difficult, but it is an essential part of healing.
11. Remember: You Will Still Be a Part of Your Kid’s Life Even After Divorce Although your family may be changing, you will still be an important part of your children’s lives. Try to maintain a positive relationship with your former spouse for the sake of your kids.
12. Consider Professional Help Many people find it helpful to seek out professional help during the divorce process. A therapist can provide support and guidance as you navigate this difficult time.
If you are facing divorce, it is important to understand the grieving process. By recognizing the stages of grief, you can better prepare yourself for the journey ahead.
Remember, every divorce is unique and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. If you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to seek out professional help. With time and patience, you will eventually reach the acceptance and hope stage.
Don’t Suppress Your Feelings While Grieving
Everyone is different and everyone can experience each one of these stages very differently. Allowing yourself the freedom to grieve during a divorce doesn’t make you weak. In fact, it can actually make you stronger. If you try to bottle up your emotions, they may eventually come out in destructive ways. It’s okay to cry, be angry, and feel sad. These are all normal reactions to loss.
Divorce is a process, not an event. Just as there is no one right way to grieve the death of a loved one, there is no one right way to grieve the loss of a marriage. Allow yourself the time and space to experience all the emotions that come with this major life change. Seek out support from friends and family members, or consider professional help if you need it. With time and patience, you will eventually reach the acceptance and hope stage.
Coping With the Hard Feelings
Coping with grief during a divorce is exceedingly difficult. Feeling all the emotions mentioned in each stage during the process of divorce is common and necessary for moving forward. It is important to surround yourself with people that love you and support you to help you through this painful time. If you are feeling lost, consider professional counseling to help you regain a sense of self and hope for the future.
In this lesson, we are going to talk about Kevin Samuel’s high value man rhetoric, why it is dangerous and the only 10 goods we can take from him.
This is not a video where we are going to bash Kevin Samuels blindly because we want to be feminists or just for clout.
This lesson is more-so for people who may blindly apply his “high value man” rhetoric wrongly in an actual romantic relationship or marriage.
You will also discover the 7 core values of the almighty High Quality Man and why you want to be him (gentleman) or want to be with him (ladies).
Late 2020, we stumbled into a video of Kevin Samuels going in heavily on a young lady who called into his YouTube show.
Apparently, she was a business owner who felt she deserved a 6 figure high value man.
She felt the need to call into this man’s show to explain herself on how she has a lot to offer and she got what she got from Kevin.
Here is where we agree with Kevin. If you have a lot to offer, time… and not your mouth will tell and that’s the reality.
In efforts to convince her to appreciate and consider the average earning man, Kevin got into a debate with this lady as he does quite often.
As she was trying to ask Kevin another question… starting with how she looks to herself, Kevin interrupted as he does often to ask her how she rates herself on a scale of 1-10.
The rule: she could not use 7 so she answered 5 when she wakes up and 6 when she uses makeup…. Height 5’5’’ and a size 3.
We were like…. Whoaaaaa… Ladies…
His response was that higher earning men tend not to get with average looking women. I don’t know what world he lives in but that’s absolutely inaccurate.
The surprise-matches happen all the time in all age groups across the board. To be fair, he did exclude people who got together when they were young.
But I also feel that a low self-esteem lady calling into a show to seek Kevin’s often petty opinions and to argue with him at the same time deserve whatever they get. We need Kevin.
Anyways, he ended up telling the lady “You’re Average At Best.” And again to be fair, he did say, “please don’t make me say it” before he said it.
Here is the real question that we want young men in particular to pay attention to.
“Did he actually lose his patience or was that pure acting?”
We also want to introduce you to the high quality man.
You have to admit that a high quality man sounds more like what you want and that… he has more substance. Wouldn’t you want to know him or be him?
I know you are probably one of the few wondering who Kevin Samuels is; I don’t want to assume that you are one of his 800,000+ YouTube subscribers and growing very fast.
Kevin Samuels is a YouTube relationship statistics expert who suddenly stumbled into massive fame online between the fall of 2020 and 2021.
He has very controversial and provocative opinions from addressing the modern woman specifically.
One thing we can tell you with all confidence right now after watching his videos is that he has been misunderstood.
Allow me to explain.
No disrespect to the OG!
I was on a social media app and there were modern women perpetuating a definition of a high value man they claimed they got from Kevin.
Most of them never took the time to watch his videos and try to understand where he is coming from. We have.
And we agree but his rhetoric is dangerous to all those modern men in his comments…
If you haven’t noticed, the modern man seems to be more emotional than ever. The modern man also thinks it’s time to keep scores with the modern woman because she asks for 50-50.
The modern man has forgotten that he also wants to lead a woman who respects, trusts and submits to his leadership.
Confusion everywhere. Thanks Kevin.
After watching 2 of his videos on “What is High Value Man?”…
These modern women like most people on social media had misrepresented his ideas of a high value man.
These are the reasons why they get into these useless arguments about the fantasy of a world without men with other confused modern men who feel like Kevin is their voice right now.
Under the 1st video that we watched which is “What Is A High Value Man? High Value Men Defined”, he had this 6 characteristics of a high value man:
He makes $10,000 or more per month
He has demonstrated performance over a minimum of 5 years time
He has group acceptance by other high value men
He belongs to a network of other high value men
He has visibility in the society
He has utility which means he is useful to others in the society.
Under the 2nd video which is “FACTS About Being High Value Man”, he broke F.A.C.T as an acronym down to some attributes of a high value man:
Failure – He is a product of a series of failures.
Action – He takes action.
Change – He embraces change as a constant in life.
Time – He understands the value of time in everything.
I am paraphrasing by the way… but those are Kevin’s idea of a high value man.
As you can see, anyone in their right mind would appreciate these points on face value because they just make sense.
But the modern women that I encountered on social media talking about this were stuck on just:
Net worth and Finances,
If he still lives with his mother (regardless of the circumstances)and
The man’s big penis.
The High Focus On Superficial Things Like Money, And Beauty Are Gross And Shallow At Best.
It’s precisely why these arguments will never end and why many struggle with relationships and marriages.
While some are internalizing Kevin’s rhetoric and using them to check men such as searching literally for “high value men” on dating apps and saying things like…
“If all you have is potential or live with mom temporarily, you are not yet a high value man.”
Some continue to declare their stance against falling in love with potential in a man even though Kevin’s definition of a high value man is a function of failures and time.
If there is such a thing as a high value man, he becomes a high value man long before it reflects in a bank account and to his credit, Kevin reflects that in “facts about high value man.”
But I have to give him the credit for also being responsible in pushing those rhetoric in his application when addressing the modern women who call into his shows…
Kevin tells them that long term romantic relationships with high value men is a function of beauty. This is false at all levels.
There are too many beautiful girls who will be single against their will and they can’t all have nasty attitudes as he claims.
I personally think it’s the epidemic of modern men who lack game.
High Value Man vs High Quality Man
Here is a quick comparison between the dictionary meaning of the word ‘value’ and ‘quality’…
Value – “To consider or rate highly : prize, esteem values your opinion.
2a : to estimate or assign the monetary worth of : appraise value a necklace.
b : to rate or scale in usefulness, importance, or general worth : evaluate. Value.”
Quality – “The standard of something as measured against other things of a similar kind; the degree of excellence of something. A distinctive attribute or characteristic possessed by someone or something.”
Think of the fundamental difference between the 2 words as cookie cutter and tailor made or trending and timeless.
Also, we are not telling you which of these types of men you want to be or want to attract. You actually get to choose still.
But we can tell you that only high quality men are able to lead in a romantic relationship…
And everyone else including your typical high value man like Kevin Samuels will exhaust their right to be right and crash their romantic relationship in that process.
And it will still hurt (if not butt-hurt like Kevin) because as it is for the rest of us, love and connection are basic human needs.
As it is that the modern woman doesn’t get to control their submission, trust and respect for a high quality man as a default, we all don’t get to turn off our basic need for love and connection.
In the next video (part 2), we have to dive in through the 7 core values that all high quality men understand but Kevin’s “high value man” can easily miss.
We will talk about Kevin’s idea of a high value man which is probably and partly why he couldn’t keep his 2 marriages even though we agree with all his 10 characteristics of a high value man.
Finances and beauty are just never enough.
If it’s already available, click on it on the screen now. Either way, subscribe to ensure that you are getting notified when we upload new videos.
PART 2 IS HERE…
Be sure to watch both parts of this special on Kevin Samuel’s high value man and why he couldn’t save his 2 marriages… Possibly. But first…
You will also be able to book a coaching session after downloading the book if you are struggling in a relationship or a marriage.
We agree with all 10 of Kevin Samuels’ attributes of a high value man but there are 7 more core values we want to add to a high value man to become a high quality man.
We believe Kevin Samuels, as a man, is also missing these 7 core values based on watching many of his videos and how he addresses the ladies.
But we are open to being wrong. We could be wrong,
We do not agree with 99.99% of his application on romantic relationships, the 0.01% we do agree on is probably the facts; the numbers are what they are.
Romantic relationships are driven by emotions and not economics, dictionary meanings, market value or how much people are willing to pay for anything; high value or not.
We agree on his ideas of a high value man but without these 7 additional core values, Kevin’s high value man is trash in the real world and real relationships.
In fact with these 7 core values of a high quality man, you can remove all monetary or financial status from his 10 characteristics and you have yourself a high quality man because money is a by-product anyway.
Ladies.. with a high quality man, no condition is permanent anyway. You will feel safe, secure and build a romantic life with consistent butterflies in your stomach.
It won’t be a choice to trust, respect and submit to him. It’s a natural occurrence and symptom of romantic experience with a high quality man.
As I said earlier, this is not a Kevin Samuels bashing, parody or reaction video; very funny videos everywhere but this is far from it.
In fact, we appreciate him in the dating guru marketplace because he is putting a lot of modern women in their place which is a much needed reality check.
These videos where he is addressing some of these “modern women” are extremely entertaining with lots of funny moments.
So I would agree that he is also much appreciated in entertainment because of all these hilarious videos with him taking on a lot of misguided modern women.
But remember the question I asked earlier.
“Does He Actually Lose His Patience With Modern Women Or It’s Just Pure Acting?”
Kevin Samuels thinks that submission, trusting and respecting a man is a duty. That’s the trash he is silently pushing through many trash modern high value man.
Those things have to be earned as a response to the level of quality emotions and leadership you sow as a man into a typical romantic relationship.
Religiously or culturally speaking, submission, trust and respect may have been painted to be a duty of a woman; it’s simply not the reality anymore.
We suspect this is why he has been divorced twice allegedly. To be fair, he takes responsibility for his part on how his marriages played out.
But we know his type.
He is the type of person who feels entitled because they are honest, hold people accountable including self and take responsibility for outcomes…
But fail to recognize the impact of emotions.
7 Additional Core Values To Become a High Quality Man
He demonstrates infinite patience with emotional expressions.
He needs no validation of his right & wrong ideologies.
He seeks wisdom beyond facts, statistics & dictionary meanings.
He does not keep scores with women and romantic partners therefore effectively avoiding toxic arguments.
He does not use generalization in romantic issues.
He has a personal purpose & life mission bigger than life.
He understands that money is a by-product of everything else.
When a high quality man understands the infinite patience part of addressing the ladies, it seems that Kevin Samuels referred to him as a simp or beta male.
After watching quite a few videos, we are convinced by Kevin’s general demeanor and conduct.
And his response to these modern women shows that he may have been hurt badly by his past romantic relationships.
You hear it when he goes… “That’s what’s wrong with y’all women…”
A high quality man does not generalize and/or address anybody as such.
In fact, a high quality man is so patient that he treats all ladies he encounters including strangers like a lady even when she seems wrong.
By the way, a high quality man can end up in divorce because that’s also a function of so many other variables but not as likely. But a high quality man will treat his ex-wife like a queen still.
Remember he may value validation but doesn’t really need it.
Contrary to that, Kevin gets very defensive with these ladies and subsequently attacks them right below the belt with the stats of…
“3 out of 4 black women will NOT marry.”
“I get tired of you broads telling me I’m being mean…”
How many broads have told Kevin he is mean? Oh my God…
There is no room for a high quality man to be that petty unless he is acting. If he is acting, then kudos to him because he is doing a great job at playing a low quality man.
If you understand women, you will understand the need for an infinite level of patience because your insecurities will be tested by a woman you love.
… and not strangers as in the case of Kevin.
He can get away with this on his YouTube show but you won’t be able to get away with this in a real romantic relationship.
Becoming a high quality man doesn’t make you dumber than Kevin.
With a strong sense of personal purpose and a life mission that’s larger than you, that level of patience and zero need for validation is paramount.
He has claimed that high value men avoid loud and non-cooperative women. That would be true only if they knew up-front. But that idea is flawed because everyone puts up a front.
So here is the real question…
Can you handle a surprisingly loud and non-cooperative modern woman, seduce and make her trust, respect and submit to your leadership?
Just having the 666; 6 figure income, 6 feet tall and 6 packs won’t cut it OG.
Why Doesn’t He Address Men with Same Energy?
He claimed he used to be aggressive with men but it just wasn’t as popular. From experience, I know that to be true to a certain level.
I checked and the energy he gives men is very different. He doesn’t advise men and I can respect that hustle decision; he claims the response is not as good.
But when you check in the comments though, with all due respect, it’s full of broken and weak men which make Kevin the voice of the people now to check women.
They really enjoy him when he is rolling his eyes when the modern woman says something that triggers him. Utility right?
Kevin was a guest on the Joe Budden show and he seemed like he had a level of courtesy and patience for men that he has not demonstrated with women in general.
Unless, he is acting or he is just that passionate about educating them, it’s coming off all wrong and the only value anyone is getting is entertainment including us.
Conclusion & The Main Lesson.
We need Kevin Samuels’ Ministry on these streets precisely to give us that dose of reality that the modern woman seems to need.
But men need to be careful with his rhetoric.
Derrick Jaxn said he hears a lot of adolescence in Kevin’s mentality. With all due respect OG Godfather, I didn’t say that but I see what he is saying.
We have seen some videos of people trying to expose his past of evictions, legal and financial woes. Those are useless, unnecessary and irrelevant efforts.
We all have a past that we are not proud of and Kevin already won there by making a high value man a function of failures and time.
If you want to have an argument with Kevin, Ladies you have to stay on topic and if you are a typical lady, you are incapable because of your nature to be focused on 1,000 topics at the same time.
He will beat you up with laser focused straight facts even if he has to be petty and lose 2 marriages in that process.
No disrespect but that seems to be what may have happened to Kevin’s 2 marriages.
Kevin Samuels is the kind of person who wants to deal with reality while excluding emotions as part of that reality like most modern men who claim to be more logical than women.
He wins at telling the truth and the facts but if you haven’t learned yet, sooner or later you will learn that you are not guaranteed happiness just because you speak FACTS.
Unfortunately, you are not entitled to holding your lady accountable because you are also claiming to want to lead a romantic relationship in the same breath.
In fact, that is a direct cause of many men’s heartbreak; Speaking too much facts.
Kevin is right.
But everyone else who thinks they are right are also right. That’s why the race to be right is by default a losing battle in all romantic relationships.
99% romance, regardless of who you are, is driven by emotions.
Kevin’s stats can’t change that.
But we also agree, also in agreement with the undefeatable Ms Iyanla Vanzant, that the modern woman is out of order in a lot of ways.But “whose standard order?” is also a valid question… Let’s discuss.