Stages of Divorce Grief

What are the Stages of Divorce Grief?

The stages of divorce grief are similar to the stages of grief that occur when someone dies.

The stages are shock and disbelief, pain and sorrow, anger and resentment, bargaining and guilt, and acceptance and hope. The order in which the stages occur may vary from person to person.

Some people may skip some of the stages or move through them more quickly than others.

It is important to allow yourself to grieve the loss of your marriage and not try to rush through the process.

1. Shock and disbelief: This is often the first stage after learning that your divorce is final. You may feel numb, have difficulty processing what has happened, and experience many other emotions, including sadness, anger, fear, and relief.

2. Pain and sorrow: As the reality of your divorce sets in, you will likely experience deep feelings of loss and grief.

You may find yourself crying often, feeling depressed, and struggling to cope with the changes in your life.

3. Anger and resentment: It is common to feel a range of negative emotions during this stage, including anger, bitterness, resentment, and frustration. You may lash out at your former spouse, friends, and family members.

4. Bargaining and guilt: During this stage, you may find yourself trying to negotiate with your former spouse or hoping for a reconciliation. You may also feel guilty about the divorce and blame yourself for the situation.

5. Acceptance and hope: In this final stage, you accept that the divorce is final and begin to move on with your life.

You may still feel sad and miss your former spouse, but you are able to start rebuilding your life. You may also feel hopeful about the future and find new meaning in your life.

Tips on Coping with Separation and Divorce

1. Recognize That Your Marriage Is Over: This can be difficult to accept, but it is an important step in the grieving process. Once you come to terms with the fact that your marriage is over, you can begin to move on.

2. Be Patient — Grief Takes Time: The stages of grief do not always happen in a linear fashion. You may move back and forth between stages or even skip some altogether.

3. Surround Yourself With People Who Support You — And Let Them Help: It can be helpful to talk to friends and family members who have gone through a divorce. They can offer guidance and support.

4. Practice Excellent Self-Care: During this difficult time, it is important to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Make sure to eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly.

5. Feel Your Feelings: It is normal to feel a range of emotions after your divorce. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of your marriage.

6. Find Out What’s There Besides Anger, Sadness, And Fear: As you move through the grieving process, you may find that you have new insights about yourself and your life. Allow yourself to explore these new perspectives.

7. Timebox Your Grief: Set aside specific times each day to grieve the loss of your marriage. This can help you to avoid becoming overwhelmed by your emotions.

8. Don’t Hide Your Divorce Grief From Your Kids (But Don’t Freak Them Out, Either)

It is important, to be honest with your children about your divorce. However, you should avoid sharing too much information or putting them in the middle of the situation.

9. Write It Out, Work It Out, Or Just plain Talk It Out: Journaling, therapy, and talking to friends and family members can all be helpful ways to cope with your divorce.

10. Stop Blaming Your Ex and Start Forgiving Them (and Yourself) One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to let go of any resentment and blame you may feel. This can be difficult, but it is an essential part of healing.

11. Remember: You Will Still Be a Part of Your Kid’s Life Even After Divorce Although your family may be changing, you will still be an important part of your children’s lives. Try to maintain a positive relationship with your former spouse for the sake of your kids.

12. Consider Professional Help Many people find it helpful to seek out professional help during the divorce process. A therapist can provide support and guidance as you navigate this difficult time.

If you are facing divorce, it is important to understand the grieving process. By recognizing the stages of grief, you can better prepare yourself for the journey ahead.

Remember, every divorce is unique and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. If you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to seek out professional help. With time and patience, you will eventually reach the acceptance and hope stage.

Don’t Suppress Your Feelings While Grieving

Everyone is different and everyone can experience each one of these stages very differently. Allowing yourself the freedom to grieve during a divorce doesn’t make you weak.  In fact, it can actually make you stronger. If you try to bottle up your emotions, they may eventually come out in destructive ways. It’s okay to cry, be angry, and feel sad. These are all normal reactions to loss.

Divorce is a process, not an event. Just as there is no one right way to grieve the death of a loved one, there is no one right way to grieve the loss of a marriage. Allow yourself the time and space to experience all the emotions that come with this major life change. Seek out support from friends and family members, or consider professional help if you need it. With time and patience, you will eventually reach the acceptance and hope stage.

Coping With the Hard Feelings

Coping with grief during a divorce is exceedingly difficult. Feeling all the emotions mentioned in each stage during the process of divorce is common and necessary for moving forward. It is important to surround yourself with people that love you and support you to help you through this painful time. If you are feeling lost, consider professional counseling to help you regain a sense of self and hope for the future.



















💔 Kevin Samuels’ High Value Man vs High Quality Man

In this lesson, we are going to talk about Kevin Samuel’s high value man rhetoric, why it is dangerous and the only 10 goods we can take from him.


This is not a video where we are going to bash Kevin Samuels blindly because we want to be feminists or just for clout.  

This lesson is more-so for people who may blindly apply his “high value man” rhetoric wrongly in an actual romantic relationship or marriage.

You will also discover the 7 core values of the almighty High Quality Man and why you want to be him (gentleman) or want to be with him (ladies).

Late 2020, we stumbled into a video of Kevin Samuels going in heavily on a young lady who called into his YouTube show.

Apparently, she was a business owner who felt she deserved a 6 figure high value man.  

She felt the need to call into this man’s show to explain herself on how she has a lot to offer and she got what she got from Kevin.

Here is where we agree with Kevin.  If you have a lot to offer, time… and not your mouth will tell and that’s the reality.

In efforts to convince her to appreciate and consider the average earning man, Kevin got into a debate with this lady as he does quite often.

As she was trying to ask Kevin another question… starting with how she looks to herself, Kevin interrupted as he does often to ask her how she rates herself on a scale of 1-10.

The rule: she could not use 7 so she answered 5 when she wakes up and 6 when she uses makeup…. Height 5’5’’ and a size 3.

We were like…. Whoaaaaa… Ladies… 

His response was that higher earning men tend not to get with average looking women.  I don’t know what world he lives in but that’s absolutely inaccurate.

The surprise-matches happen all the time in all age groups across the board. To be fair, he did exclude people who got together when they were young.

But I also feel that a low self-esteem lady calling into a show to seek Kevin’s often petty opinions and to argue with him at the same time deserve whatever they get.  We need Kevin.

Anyways, he ended up telling the lady “You’re Average At Best.”  And again to be fair, he did say, “please don’t make me say it” before he said it.

Here is the real question that we want young men in particular to pay attention to. 

“Did he actually lose his patience or was that pure acting?”

We also want to introduce you to the high quality man.  

You have to admit that a high quality man sounds more like what you want and that… he has more substance.  Wouldn’t you want to know him or be him?

I know you are probably one of the few wondering who Kevin Samuels is;  I don’t want to assume that you are one of his 800,000+ YouTube subscribers and growing very fast.  

Kevin Samuels is a YouTube relationship statistics expert who suddenly stumbled into massive  fame online between the fall of 2020 and 2021.

He has very controversial and provocative opinions from addressing the modern woman specifically.

One thing we can tell you with all confidence right now after watching his videos is that he has been misunderstood.  

Allow me to explain.

No disrespect to the OG!

I was on a social media app and there were modern women perpetuating a definition of a high value man they claimed they got from Kevin.

Most of them never took the time to watch his videos and try to understand where he is coming from.  We have.  

And we agree but his rhetoric is dangerous to all those modern men in his comments…  

If you haven’t noticed, the modern man seems to be more emotional than ever. The modern man also thinks it’s time to keep scores with the modern woman because she asks for 50-50.

The modern man has forgotten that he also wants to lead a woman who respects, trusts and submits to his leadership.  

Confusion everywhere.  Thanks Kevin.  

After watching 2 of his videos on “What is High Value Man?”

These modern women like most people on social media had misrepresented his ideas of a high value man.

These are the reasons why they get into these useless arguments about the fantasy of a world without men with other confused modern men who feel like Kevin is their voice right now.

Total chaos!

Under the 1st video that we watched which is “What Is A High Value Man? High Value Men Defined”, he had this 6 characteristics of a high value man:

  1. He makes $10,000 or more per month
  2. He has demonstrated performance over a minimum of 5 years time
  3. He has group acceptance by other high value men
  4. He belongs to a network of other high value men
  5. He has visibility in the society
  6. He has utility which means he is useful to others in the society.

Under the 2nd video which is “FACTS About Being High Value Man”, he broke F.A.C.T as an acronym down to some attributes of a high value man:

  1. Failure – He is a product of a series of failures.
  2. Action – He takes action.
  3. Change – He embraces change as a constant in life.
  4. Time – He understands the value of time in everything.

I am paraphrasing by the way… but those are Kevin’s idea of a high value man.

As you can see, anyone in their right mind would appreciate these points on face value because they just make sense.

But the modern women that I encountered on social media talking about this were stuck on just:

  • Semantics
  • The money, 
  • Salary, 
  • Net worth and Finances, 
  • If he still lives with his mother (regardless of the circumstances) and 
  • The man’s big penis.

The High Focus On Superficial Things Like Money, And Beauty Are Gross And Shallow At Best. 

It’s precisely why these arguments will never end and why many struggle with relationships and marriages.

While some are internalizing Kevin’s rhetoric and using them to check men such as searching literally for “high value men” on dating apps and saying things like…

“If all you have is potential or live with mom temporarily, you are not yet a high value man.

Some continue to declare their stance against falling in love with potential in a man even though Kevin’s definition of a high value man is a function of failures and time.

If there is such a thing as a high value man, he becomes a high value man long before it reflects in a bank account and to his credit, Kevin reflects that in “facts about high value man.”

  • Failure and
  • Time

But I have to give him the credit for also being responsible in pushing those rhetoric in his application when addressing the modern women who call into his shows… 

Kevin tells them that long term romantic relationships with high value men is a function of beauty.  This is false at all levels.

There are too many beautiful girls who will be single against their will and they can’t all have nasty attitudes as he claims.  

I personally think it’s the epidemic of modern men who lack game.

High Value Man vs High Quality Man

Here is a quick comparison between the dictionary meaning of the word ‘value’ and ‘quality’… 

Value“To consider or rate highly : prize, esteem values your opinion. 

2a : to estimate or assign the monetary worth of : appraise value a necklace. 

b : to rate or scale in usefulness, importance, or general worth : evaluate. Value.”

Quality“The standard of something as measured against other things of a similar kind; the degree of excellence of something. A distinctive attribute or characteristic possessed by someone or something.”

Think of the fundamental difference between the 2 words as cookie cutter and tailor made or trending and timeless.

Also, we are not telling you which of these types of men you want to be or want to attract.  You actually get to choose still.

But we can tell you that only high quality men are able to lead in a romantic relationship… 

And everyone else including your typical high value man like Kevin Samuels will exhaust their right to be right and crash their romantic relationship in that process.

And it will still hurt (if not butt-hurt like Kevin) because as it is for the rest of us, love and connection are basic human needs.  

As it is that the modern woman doesn’t get to control their submission, trust and respect for a high quality man as a default, we all don’t get to turn off our basic need for love and connection.

In the next video (part 2), we have to dive in through the 7 core values that all high quality men understand but Kevin’s “high value man” can easily miss.

We will talk about Kevin’s idea of a high value man which is probably and partly why he couldn’t keep his 2 marriages even though we agree with all his 10 characteristics of a high value man.

Finances and beauty are just never enough.

If it’s already available, click on it on the screen now.  Either way, subscribe to ensure that you are getting notified when we upload new videos.


Be sure to watch both parts of this special on Kevin Samuel’s high value man and why he couldn’t save his 2 marriages… Possibly.  But first… 

Here is… 

Why We Agree with Kevin Samuels!

Don’t forget about our book…

GET MY MARRIAGE BACK with my husband OLA

…which you can download for free at

You will also be able to book a coaching session after downloading the book if you are struggling in a relationship or a marriage.

We agree with all 10 of Kevin Samuels’ attributes of a high value man but there are 7 more core values we want to add to a high value man to become a high quality man.

We believe Kevin Samuels, as a man, is also missing these 7 core values based on watching many of his videos and how he addresses the ladies.

But we are open to being wrong.  We could be wrong,

We do not agree with 99.99% of his application on romantic relationships, the 0.01% we do agree on is probably the facts; the numbers are what they are.

Romantic relationships are driven by emotions and not economics, dictionary meanings, market value or how much people are willing to pay for anything; high value or not.

We agree on his ideas of a high value man but without these 7 additional core values, Kevin’s high value man is trash in the real world and real relationships.

In fact with these 7 core values of a high quality man, you can remove all monetary or financial status from his 10 characteristics and you have yourself a high quality man because money is a by-product anyway.

Ladies.. with a high quality man, no condition is permanent anyway.  You will feel safe, secure and build a romantic life with consistent butterflies in your stomach.

It won’t be a choice to trust, respect and submit to him. It’s a natural occurrence and symptom of romantic experience with a high quality man.

As I said earlier, this is not a Kevin Samuels bashing, parody or reaction video; very funny videos everywhere but this is far from it.  

In fact, we appreciate him in the dating guru marketplace because he is putting a lot of modern women in their place which is a much needed reality check.

These videos where he is addressing some of these “modern women” are extremely entertaining with lots of funny moments. 

So I would agree that he is also much appreciated in entertainment because of all these hilarious videos with him taking on a lot of misguided modern women.

But remember the question I asked earlier.

“Does He Actually Lose His Patience With Modern Women Or It’s Just Pure Acting?”

Kevin Samuels thinks that submission, trusting and respecting a man is a duty.  That’s the trash he is silently pushing through many trash modern high value man.

Those things have to be earned as a response to the level of quality emotions and leadership you sow as a man into a typical romantic relationship.

Religiously or culturally speaking, submission, trust and respect may have been painted to be a duty of a woman; it’s simply not the reality anymore.

We suspect this is why he has been divorced twice allegedly.  To be fair, he takes responsibility for his part on how his marriages played out.

But we know his type.  

He is the type of person who feels entitled because they are honest, hold people accountable including self and take responsibility for outcomes…

But fail to recognize the impact of emotions.

7 Additional Core Values To Become a High Quality Man 

  1. He demonstrates infinite patience with emotional expressions.
  2. He needs no validation of his right & wrong ideologies.
  3. He seeks wisdom beyond facts, statistics & dictionary meanings.
  4. He does not keep scores with women and romantic partners therefore effectively avoiding toxic arguments.
  5. He does not use generalization in romantic issues.
  6. He has a personal purpose & life mission bigger than life.
  7. He understands that money is a by-product of everything else.

When a high quality man understands the infinite patience part of addressing the ladies, it seems that Kevin Samuels referred to him as a simp or beta male.

After watching quite a few videos, we are convinced by Kevin’s general demeanor and conduct.

And his response to these modern women shows that he may have been hurt badly by his past romantic relationships.

You hear it when he goes… “That’s what’s wrong with y’all women…”

A high quality man does not generalize and/or address anybody as such.  

In fact,  a high quality man is so patient that he treats all ladies he encounters including strangers like a lady even when she seems wrong.

By the way, a high quality man can end up in divorce because that’s also a function of so many other variables but not as likely.  But a high quality man will treat his ex-wife like a queen still.

Remember he may value validation but doesn’t really need it.

Contrary to that, Kevin gets very defensive with these ladies and subsequently attacks them right below the belt with the stats of… 

“3 out of 4 black women will NOT marry.”

“I get tired of you broads telling me I’m being mean…”

How many broads have told Kevin he is mean? Oh my God…

There is no room for a high quality man to be that petty unless he is acting.  If he is acting, then kudos to him because he is doing a great job at playing a low quality man.

If you understand women, you will understand the need for an infinite level of patience because your insecurities will be tested by a woman you love.

… and not strangers as in the case of Kevin.  

He can get away with this on his YouTube show but you won’t be able to get away with this in a real romantic relationship.

Becoming a high quality man doesn’t make you dumber than Kevin.  

With a strong sense of personal purpose and a life mission that’s larger than you, that level of patience and zero need for validation is paramount.

He has claimed that high value men avoid loud and non-cooperative women.  That would be true only if they knew up-front.  But that idea is flawed because everyone puts up a front.

So here is the real question…

Can you handle a surprisingly loud and non-cooperative modern woman, seduce and make her trust, respect and submit to your leadership?  

Just having the 666; 6 figure income, 6 feet tall and 6 packs won’t cut it OG.

Why Doesn’t He Address Men with Same Energy?

He claimed he used to be aggressive with men but it just wasn’t as popular.  From experience, I know that to be true to a certain level.

I checked and the energy he gives men is very different.  He doesn’t advise men and I can respect that hustle decision; he claims the response is not as good.

But when you check in the comments though, with all due respect, it’s full of broken and weak men which make Kevin the voice of the people now to check women.  

They really enjoy him when he is rolling his eyes when the modern woman says something that triggers him. Utility right?

Kevin was a guest on the Joe Budden show and he seemed like he had a level of courtesy and patience for men that he has not demonstrated with women in general.

Unless, he is acting or he is just that passionate about educating them, it’s coming off all wrong and the only value anyone is getting is entertainment including us.

Conclusion & The Main Lesson.

We need Kevin Samuels’ Ministry on these streets precisely to give us that dose of reality that the modern woman seems to need.  

But men need to be careful with his rhetoric.

Derrick Jaxn said he hears a lot of adolescence in Kevin’s mentality.  With all due respect OG Godfather, I didn’t say that but I see what he is saying.

We have seen some videos of people trying to expose his past of evictions, legal and financial woes.  Those are useless, unnecessary and irrelevant efforts.  

We all have a past that we are not proud of and Kevin already won there by making a high value man a function of failures and time.

If you want to have an argument with Kevin, Ladies you have to stay on topic and if you are a typical lady, you are incapable because of your nature to be focused on 1,000 topics at the same time. 

He will beat you up with laser focused straight facts even if he has to be petty and lose 2 marriages in that process.

No disrespect but that seems to be what may have happened to Kevin’s 2 marriages.

Kevin Samuels is the kind of person who wants to deal with reality while excluding emotions as part of that reality like most modern men who claim to be more logical than women.

He wins at telling the truth and the facts but if you haven’t learned yet, sooner or later you will learn that you are not guaranteed happiness just because you speak FACTS.

Unfortunately, you are not entitled to holding your lady accountable because you are also claiming to want to lead a romantic relationship in the same breath. 

In fact, that is a direct cause of many men’s heartbreak; Speaking too much facts.

Kevin is right.  

But everyone else who thinks they are right are also right.  That’s why the race to be right is by default a losing battle in all romantic relationships.

99% romance, regardless of who you are, is driven by emotions.

Kevin’s stats can’t change that.  

But we also agree, also in agreement with the undefeatable Ms Iyanla Vanzant, that the modern woman is out of order in a lot of ways.But “whose standard order?” is also a valid question… Let’s discuss.

“Wife ARGUES About EVERYTHING” – 5 Tips

“Wife argues about everything” – 5 tips

Now, before I get into the tips, there’s a quick story behind why I came up with this topic.

I have a client who called me…

He called me, he is married to his wife and they’ve been going through it for a while.

A lot of arguments… a lot of resentments from the part of the wife, and they’re going through it.

So every now and then he will call me and I’ll give him some tips here and there.

Basically, I’m coaching him in a mild way.

When he called me, I could hear the wife in the background telling him that I’m a third party.

She said I’m an outsider, and he should not be sharing anything that’s going on in their family with me.

Now there’s a twist to the tips I’m going to share with you right now.

There are 5 tips…, If your “Wife argues about everything”.


The main issue here is the argument–It’s not about her opinion of where I belong. She is, in fact, very correct that I’m a third party.

I am an outsider when it comes to that marriage.

The more important thing in that scenario is the argument and the very heated argument that’s basically going on between the both of them at that point in time,

…and how he was handling it.

That’s more of the tips that I want to share with you right now

Tip #1 – When you engage in an argument with your wife, Countdown 30 seconds.

You can’t cheat… you can’t afford to cheat on this one.

You need to countdown 30 seconds and try to take as much deep breath as possible while you’re counting down to 30 seconds.

I want you to trust me.

Trust God that heaven is not about to fall apart because your wife disagrees with you on whatever.

Unless it has to do with safety and security, there is absolutely no need for you to be right in that conversation.

And that’s why I’m asking you, take a countdown from 30 to 0.

Tip #2 – You wanna let go of your right to be right.


I think I just hinted that real quick.

The reason why anyone engages in an argument is that they feel the need to be right.

We’re all like that as human beings.

When we engage in a little debate, it turns out to be an argument.

Then it’s: I’m right and you’re wrong.”

And essentially, even if you end up winning the battle of you’re right and then she’s wrong,

…you’re still wrong because unfortunately or fortunately, this is a relationship.

And if she holds any resentment against you because you managed to convince her that you won the argument, it’s just twice as bad.

Just keep that at the back of your mind.

Let go of all your right to be right–at least for now.

Because again, you’re engaged in a heated argument… no matter how right you are, the situation is wrong.

The dynamics of that relationship at that moment is wrong.

Tip #3 – Turn it to an active listening session.

Now, this is very tricky.

This is can be very hard to do because again, remember,

…truthfully, you are caught up in your feelings and you do feel like you’re right.

You do feel like you know what you’re talking about.

But again if you did Tip #1, the 30 seconds countdown, this should be easier for you.

Turn into an active listening session.

Don’t just shut up.

Don’t be dismissive.

This is something that I myself am still working on.

It’s quite easy to go into the dismissive mode, but just try to actively listen to what your spouse or your wife is trying to say to you.

They’re coming from somewhere and it’s usually not easy to detect where they’re coming from just by listening to the words.

You have to listen not just to the words, but behind the scenes of why they’re saying what they’re saying from an emotional standpoint.

Tip #4 – Repeat what you’re hearing back to her.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

So instead of you feeling the need to react to everything she’s saying,

Repeat what she said back to her.

For example,

She says, “no, he’s an outsider. He is a third party!

hmm interesting. So you’re saying he’s a third party. I agree with you. I actually agree with you. You’re saying … [WHATEVER SHE’S SAYING]”.

You see, it’s a little awkward because it’s not the easiest thing to do.

So why don’t just keep it simple? Repeat what she said back to her.

He’s a third partyOkay, tell me more, babe”, just say tell me more.

Tip #5 – Ask her to tell you more.

Repeat what she said.

Ask her to tell you more.

Like, even if this creates awkwardness, she will calm down,

…try to hear what you’re trying to say and trying to probably put her words a little bit better.

Because again, when people are soaked up in their emotions, it’s also difficult for them.

It’s a good chance that they’re not expressing clearly whatever they’re trying to say.

But if you repeat what she said back to her, which is essentially tip #4,

…you now go to tip #5 and say, “Okay, so you’re saying he’s wrong? Tell me more


You know, she will calm down and then probably tell you a little bit clearer.

By the way, here’s a bonus tip.

When I say conversation, let go of all your need to say your part. “Can I say something?”

Let her finish everything she has to say.

Trust me when you do that, you’re not losing.

Remember it’s not about losing, you’re actually winning because she gets to express everything she wants to say.

And this is going to require a lot of patience.

This is easier said than done but the alternative of this is that you’re gonna lose your relationship and your marriage slowly.

It’s gonna die a slow death and that’s not what we want, right?

So that’s what I have for you .

If you engage in negative and toxic energy arguments with your wife all the time,

…just follow these 5 tips and all should be well.

Practice it over and over and over, and it should get easier with time.

How do you deal with an argumentative wife?

Don’t engage your wife with a reaction. Engage here with active listening and well thought out response.

Why does my wife argue with me all the time?

Your wife is arguing with you all the time because you are engaging her with reactions and not active listening and well though out responses.

Is it normal to argue everyday in a marriage?

It is normal in terms of the percentage of marriages that it happens in but it is not normal with respect to a healthy marriage and relationship. Check out these 5 tips to get it under control.


Question: “My wife wants a divorce how can I change her mind?” – 5 tips

I want to share 5 tips with you on getting the best chance to change her mind.

You know, at the end of the day, it’s not a 100% chance.

It’s never gonna be a 100% chance that you would change your mind.

But if you follow these 5 tips I’m about to share with you, you would dramatically increase the chances that she would change her mind.

Before I get into the 5 tips, there’s a quick story I want to share with you.

Just some few weeks ago, I was watching a review of a podcast that Lola and I were on as a guest.

There was a review.

We happen to make the top 5 of the podcast episodes on that podcast,

…and the husband and the wife, who is also a family friend, Bola and Mac were talking about the divorce that my wife asked for some years back.

And the husband was like, “I don’t think they put that out there like”,

…then the wife was like, “No”.

We did and the truth is that yes, we have spoken about our divorce.

We have mentioned it, and we in fact talked elaborately about it in the book, you can get the book for free at

We talked elaborately about that in our book, on many videos and I’m about to talk about it again right now.

The truth of the matter is that we have spoken about our divorce and we have to talk about the divorce because,

…what a lot of people do with marriage and divorce is that it becomes like a big demon in their lives and their relationship, and then it eats up the relationship.

And when you don’t have a relationship, essentially, you don’t have a marriage because marriage is just the institution, that’s the paper stuff.

But there’s an underlying relationship that happens before you can even have a healthy marriage.

That’s why I wanted to share these,

My wife wants a divorce, how can I change her mind? – 5 tips, with you really quickly.


Tip #1

You can’t change her mind, but your next moves will influence her final decision.

See, at the end of the day, we’re human beings.

We’re social beings and we are relating with each other on how safe we feel around each other.

And because of that, we do influence our own decisions.

Like the people around you, you know, you’ve heard that saying before,

… the top 5 people around you influence your decisions.

They influence your life, they influence the outcome of your life and so also is your marriage and your relationship.

That’s true for your marriage and your relationships as well.

Even though you can’t particularly change her mind, your next moves,

So I’m about to share 4 more tips on, My wife wants a divorce, how can I change her mind?

Your next moves will influence her final decision.

So let’s go on to,

Tip #2

Don’t put divorce on the pedestal.

Don’t make divorce a big of a deal than it is already.

Don’t make it a big of a deal than it is

It’s just divorce.

It just means somebody decides that they don’t wanna be a part of your life.

But it’s a decision that people can change their mind all the time.

So if you stick to Tip #1 like I said earlier,

Yes, she can change your mind based on the moves you’re gonna make.

Then again, don’t make divorce a big of a deal than it is.

It’s just at least in that moment in time, she hasn’t filed divorce yet.

It is just a decision, it is just “hey, I’m gonna ask for divorce”,it’s just a decision that can be changed.

Let me even tell you how good this is.

Even if she’s already filed for the divorce.

This was something that I learned that made it super easy for me to attract my wife back.

She had actually filed divorce before we got back together and the good news is that,

…the thing is that I had stumbled into stories of people that had filed divorce five years and they’ve been divorced for five years, they got back together.

I know people that have been divorced for a whole decade but they still got back together.

So if I know that all these possibilities are in place, the last thing I wanted to do was to put divorce on a pedestal.

Divorce is not as much of a big deal that people would like to make it seem.

TRENDING: Trying To Save Marriage Wife Said It’s Too Late? ❤️ Try this 3 “UNUSUAL” Tricks

You know, a lot of religious people make divorce a big deal when they go to that part of the Bible where it says “God hates divorce”.

Think about the effect of that phrase on your mind.

It’s like, “Oh, God forbid

No, don’t do that.

Don’t put divorce on a pedestal.

God hates divorce, okay good but it’s a reality a lot of times.

Don’t make it a big deal.

The big deal here is the relationship you have with your wife.

You need to work on that.

That is faulty, and that’s the underlying reason why she’s asking for divorce.

Asking for divorce is a symptom you want to come back to the underlying reason.

What is the cause?

You’re worried about the effect, but let’s talk about the cause.

The cause is where you should be focused on.

In that same talking, I’m gonna give you

Tip #3

Don’t put marriage on a pedestal.

Marriage is cute and it’s beautiful when it’s nice but if you have a terrible relationship as the underlying structure of your marriage,

What’s the point?

So don’t put marriage on a pedestal.

I’d rather you focus on the relationship you have with your wife, than focusing on “God forbid, I don’t want the marriage to end”.

If you don’t want the marriage to end, that energy that you’re carrying around is gonna push your wife even further away.

Tip #4

Focus 100% on building yourself.

So not even the relationship, building yourself till you attract the love you desire.

And let me just add this, that you deserve.

If you focus on yourself, you will attract the appropriate type of love and it’s kind of easier if she’s already your wife.

She’s not gonna wanna let you go if you work on yourself and that’s a thought to show in your behaviors.

She’s not gonna wanna let you go.

So what you need to focus on 100% is building yourself.

There’s something about you that’s making you do the opposite of attracting your wife.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

Focus on that.

Work on that.

Don’t worry about changing her mind.

Worry about building yourself.

Tip #5

Be okay with the possibility of never attracting her again.

You see, there are forces beyond what you can see.

Especially when you’re dealing with relationships.

It’s a very spiritual thing.

So a lot of time you may think you want your wife back.

Maybe that’s not the case.

Maybe it’s just a matter of obsession that’s basically born out of the rejection.

Rejection breeds obsession.

So you may just not be able to see that clearly right now.

That’s why 100% of your focus needs to go into building yourself.

Because if she doesn’t belong in being your wife,

In that position of being your wife, she doesn’t need to be there.

But you may not be able to see that yet, because again you’re feeling obsessed.

You’re obsessed because of the rejection.

So again those are the 5 tips for, My wife wants a divorce, how can I change her mind?

if this is the right person for you, you will attract her back into a better and healthier relationship,

…which is also a better and healthier marriage if you just focus on yourself.

“How To APOLOGIZE To Your WIFE” – 7 Tips

Question: “How To APOLOGIZE To Your WIFE” – 7 Tips

You’ve offended your wife.

Things have happened.

Her feelings are hurt and you wanna apologize to your wife?

It could be anything from as simple as you hurt her feelings, you’re dismissive, you argue too much to infidelity.

Like something terribly bad.

Some kind of betrayal, betrayal of trust.

You know, whatever it is that’s going on.

There is some kind of crisis going on in your marriage and you feel the need to apologize to your wife right now.

Before I get into the 7 tips, there’s a quick story I want to show with you.

There’s a guy, a popular musician in Nigeria called Nice.

Basically he came out on the scene, some few weeks ago and he recorded a video, some two minutes video apologizing to his wife.

Then asking all 300,000 of his followers to help him apologize to his wife and then asked people to tag his wife.

He actually put the Instagram handle and asked people to tag his wife and help him apologize because he did something terrible.

And then we came to find out that what he did was that he cheated on his wife.

It’s actually a viral video that was floating all over the place of him serenading, grabbing the breast of another girl, a side chick if you will.

I guess that video came out and the wife is now shut down and I think, left the house and things like that.

Now, as soon as I saw that video, I knew that that was a wrong move.


And why is that the wrong move?

I’m gonna share 7 tips with you and in these 7 tips, you would know that that’s in fact the wrong move.

It’s actually a work against him, his relationship and marriage more than do any kind of favor.

Now a lot of people, especially even ladies, saw that and they thought that was romantic.

You hear people saying “it’s very rare to see a man that will actually admit they’re wrong and actually apologize

While there may be some truth to that, that move of shooting the video, adding background music and apologizing to your wife publicly is the wrong move.


Tip #1

Never tender apologies after a betrayal (especially publicly), without taking the time to do the work.

So think about it,

if you are tendering an apology, your wife just found out that you offended her.

There is the need to fix things immediately, but that immediate need to fix things is emotional.

It’s purely emotional and you haven’t done any work.

It’s reactional.

You’re just reacting to the idea that you may have hurt your wife or that you hurt your wife.

Anytime you react in that way without putting proper thoughts behind it, a.k.a. the work behind the scenes,

It’s gonna work against you.

Your apology, in fact, is probably not authentic because again, you haven’t really processed what just happened.

You haven’t processed how you may have been wrong.

Your wife told you you’re wrong, maybe you’re not exactly wrong.

Maybe it’s not about right and wrong.

Maybe you’re wrong.

Whichever one it is, you haven’t taken the time to work on yourself.

So any kind of apology you tender is in fact fake and is more of a response than it is an authentic apology.

Tip #2

The best apology is always 100% changed behavior.

TRENDING: “How Do I APOLOGIZE for HURTING My Wife?”📍 John Gray

Again, changed behavior does not happen overnight.

It’s not gonna happen because your wife caught you.

So that’s when you see people say, “Are you apologizing before, because you’re caught? or because you’re actually truly remorseful?”.

It is almost impossible to be remorseful when you get caught like that, because again, you haven’t processed it.

Tip #3

Most people who tender apology are doing so as a form of quick fix, and your victim (especially ladies), can smell a bad apology from thousands of miles away.

I think we’re just going in circles now.

It’s the same thing.

It’s a quick fix.

Apology that represents more of a quick fix will hurt your relationship, it will make the other person feel manipulated more than it to actually help anything.

Tip #4

You can have good intentions and still tender a bad apology.

Yes, your intentions are good.

You really want to just fix things.

You just want her to feel better, but she’s not gonna feel better..

Again, because you haven’t allowed her time to process what just happened,

…you haven’t processed what just happened.

All that happened is that you got caught.

Take the time off.


So I understand that you feel bad, but feeling bad is not a changed behavior.

Like I said in tip #2, it’s not a changed behavior.

Good intention is not the same thing as good apology.

Good intention is not the same thing as changed behavior.

A changed behavior, when we’re talking about behavior, we’re not talking about habits and to change habits will take work.

In fact, an average habit takes 90 days of intense work on yourself before you can actually change a habit and behavior.

Tip #5

If you truly will change your behavior sustainably, If you want a lasting change of behavior, the change will be a function of time and patience.

It takes time and patience.

You can’t possibly be apologizing and think that your apology is authentic because you got caught.

You got caught, you feel bad is different from you feeling authentically remorseful.

You haven’t processed it.

In fact, you may have some resentments in yourself, but because your wife has rejected you right now, you just wanna be very quick to apologize.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that.

Tip #6

Public apologies only create more embarrassment for the victims.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

Especially when we’re talking about a celebrity.

But honestly, across board public apologies are just terrible.

They embarrass the victim a lot more than it actually makes them feel better because again they feel some type of embarrassment.

They are a little bit ashamed of what just happened but now you’re making it public,

…you’re not helping things.

That’s another reason why it must be a function of time and patience.

Because if you took the time, you would have thought that all the way through that “Hey, I know I have offended her but the worst thing that can do right now is to embarrass her even further”.

So you don’t want to do that.

Tip #7

Tender apology only after taking some time to process whatever happened,

Take the time.

It must be a function of time and patience.

But there’s an exception.

If your victim expresses an explicit request for an apology, if they’re saying “you owe me an apology”.

If you feel like you’ve offended them, then basically they’ve processed it enough to say, “Hey, you owe me an apology”.

You can say “I apologize”, keep it simple.

You don’t need to do that over and over again.

Again, the best thing you can do is take the time and patience and do the work that you need to do on changing the behavior and the habits.

If you’re not ready to do that, your apology is only gonna create more toxicity in your relationship or in your marriage.

It’s only gonna make things worse.

And you’re gonna build more resentments for every time you offend that same person in the same way, over and over again.

The resentment is just gonna get worse and worse.

So that’s how to apologize to your wife.

Time and patience.

Take the time and patience to work on yourself and work on changed behavior.