Broken Marriage?
Fix it Here FREE

Get My Marriage Back

Posted on

Wife Argues About Everything? Here’s the Hard Truth Most Husbands Need to Hear

📌 Author's Note from Lola & Ola:
If you are reading this right now, we know the heartbreak of watching the desire, intimacy, and warmth fade out of your relationship. We survived our own marriage completely dying at the 9-year mark and rebuilt a 20+ year roadmap from it. Before you dive into the details below, grab our complete book Get My Marriage Back for FREE right now so you have an immediate, step-by-step action plan to turn things around.

If you’ve found yourself wondering why, “you wife argues about everything,” you’re not alone.

Many husbands reach a point where it feels like every conversation turns into a debate, every suggestion gets challenged, and every attempt at communication is met with pushback.

It can be exhausting.

You say something simple, and she immediately responds with a reason why it’s wrong.

You share an idea, and she has an argument against it before you’ve even finished explaining.

Over time, it can feel like you’re constantly walking into conflict, leaving you frustrated, disconnected, and wondering how your marriage got here.

But before we talk about how to stop the arguments, we need to address an uncomfortable reality:

If your wife argues about everything, there’s a good chance you’re arguing about everything too.

That may sound unfair at first.

You might be thinking,

“No, she’s the one starting it.”

Hear me out.

wife argues about everything

The Hidden Dynamic Behind Constant Arguments

It’s almost impossible for one person to sustain endless arguments without the other person participating in them.

Notice I said almost impossible.

When husbands describe their wives as argumentative, they often explain the same pattern:

  • Every suggestion gets challenged.
  • Every opinion gets questioned.
  • Every conversation feels like a debate.
  • Every disagreement turns into a battle.

The frustration is real.

However, when I observe these same husbands in coaching or counseling conversations, I often notice something surprising. They’re doing the exact same thing.

Every recommendation receives resistance.

Every new perspective gets debated.

Every alternative solution gets challenged.

In other words, they are responding to an argumentative spouse with more argument.

The result?

A relationship trapped in a cycle where both people feel unheard, misunderstood, and disrespected.

Why “Winning” the Argument Doesn’t Fix the Marriage

Many couples become so focused on proving their point that they forget the purpose of the conversation.

The goal isn’t to win.

The goal is understanding.

Unfortunately, when a marriage reaches the point where one spouse feels that the other argues about everything, both people are usually operating from a defensive position.

Instead of listening, they’re preparing rebuttals.

Instead of understanding, they’re building cases.

Instead of solving problems, they’re protecting themselves.

This creates an environment where every interaction feels like a courtroom rather than a partnership.

Take a Step Back Before You Take Another Stand

If the way you’ve been engaging your wife isn’t working, wouldn’t it make sense to stop using the same approach?

That’s the first step.

Take a step back.

Not because you’re surrendering.

Not because you’re admitting you’re wrong.

But because continuing the same pattern will only produce the same results.

Ask yourself:

  • How did I get here?
  • When did conversations become competitions?
  • What role am I playing in this dynamic?
  • How do I typically respond when she disagrees with me?
  • Do I genuinely listen, or do I immediately defend my position?

These questions require honesty.

And honesty is often where real change begins.

Conduct a Self-Audit Before Trying to Change Your Wife

One of the biggest mistakes people make is focusing entirely on their spouse’s behavior while ignoring their own.

It’s easy to identify what your wife is doing wrong.

It’s much harder to examine your own patterns.

Yet that’s where your power lies.

You cannot control whether your wife changes.

You can control how you respond.

You can control your communication style.

You can control your emotional reactions.

You can control whether you escalate conflict or de-escalate it.

A self-audit may reveal that you’ve developed habits that unintentionally fuel arguments:

  • Interrupting.
  • Becoming defensive.
  • Dismissing her concerns.
  • Correcting minor details.
  • Needing the last word.
  • Responding emotionally instead of thoughtfully.

The goal isn’t self-blame.

The goal is self-awareness.

What If My Wife Really Does Argue About Everything?

Let’s be honest.

There are people who are naturally more confrontational than others.

Some individuals challenge nearly everything.

Some people process thoughts through debate.

Some have communication habits that create friction in relationships.

Yes, those people exist.

But here’s the reality:

If that person is your wife, she’s still your wife.

Whether your marriage ultimately thrives, struggles, or even ends, you’ll still need the skills required to navigate difficult interactions.

Think about it.

If you separate and become co-parents, you’ll still need communication skills.

You’ll still need emotional intelligence.

You’ll still need active listening.

You’ll still need conflict-resolution skills.

The solution isn’t avoiding difficult conversations.

The solution is becoming better at handling them.

The Skills That Change Everything

Healthy relationships aren’t built by finding perfect partners.

They’re built by developing better skills.

Some of the most important include:

Active Listening

Most people listen to respond.

Successful couples listen to understand.

Before defending yourself, make sure you truly understand what your wife is saying.

Emotional Intelligence

Learn to recognize when emotions are driving the conversation.

When emotions rise, logic often disappears.

Pausing can be more productive than pushing forward.

Curiosity Instead of Defensiveness

Instead of immediately explaining why she’s wrong, ask questions.

Seek to understand her perspective before presenting your own.

Personal Accountability

Own your contribution to the problem.

Not because you’re responsible for everything, but because you’re responsible for your part.

Strategic Patience

Not every disagreement needs an immediate resolution.

Sometimes creating space allows both people to return with greater clarity and less emotion.

So How Do You Stop Your Wife From Arguing About Everything?

Here’s the answer most people don’t want to hear:

Stop arguing about everything yourself.

That doesn’t mean becoming passive.

It doesn’t mean agreeing with things you don’t believe.

It means refusing to participate in unnecessary conflict.

It means becoming intentional instead of reactive.

It means recognizing that the fastest way to change a relationship dynamic is often to change the role you’re playing within it.

When one person consistently changes their behavior, the entire interaction begins to shift.

Will it happen overnight?

No.

Will it guarantee that your wife changes?

No.

But it gives you the best chance of breaking the cycle that’s keeping both of you stuck.

And with that said, this is only the beginning.

Now that we’ve covered the foundational mindset shift, I’ve got something special before we move into five additional practical tips that can help you navigate a marriage where it feels like your wife argues about everything.

How to De-escalate an Argument in 30 Seconds

One of the most powerful concepts we teach is this:

The goal is not to win the moment. The goal is to lead the interaction.

When your wife argues about everything, it’s easy to get pulled into a battle over facts, details, and who is right.

The problem is that most arguments aren’t actually about the words being said. They’re about the emotions underneath them.

When a conversation starts escalating, try this simple de-escalation framework:

Step 1: Drop the Need to Be Right

This doesn’t mean admitting you’re wrong.

It means recognizing that proving your point is often less important than protecting the relationship.

Many men unknowingly escalate conflict because they feel compelled to correct every misunderstanding, challenge every accusation, or defend every criticism.

Unfortunately, the more you focus on being right, the more defensive your wife becomes.

Instead of thinking, “How do I prove my point?” ask yourself:

“How do I lower the emotional temperature of this conversation?”

Step 2: Listen for the Emotion, Not the Words

When emotions are running high, people rarely communicate their deepest concerns clearly.

For example, when your wife says:

  • “You never listen to me.”
  • “You don’t care about this family.”
  • “You always do whatever you want.”

The literal statement may not be accurate.

But the emotion underneath it is often real.

What she’s frequently communicating is:

  • “I don’t feel heard.”
  • “I feel overwhelmed.”
  • “I feel unsupported.”
  • “I feel disconnected from you.”

A relationship and emotional intelligence man learns to respond to and not be dismissive of the emotion before responding to the accusation.

Step 3: Validate the Feeling Without Agreeing to the Claim

Validation is one of the fastest ways to de-escalate conflict.

Validation does not mean agreement.

It simply means acknowledging her emotional experience.

Try statements like:

  • “I can see why that would be frustrating.”
  • “I understand why you’d feel that way.”
  • “I can tell this is really important to you.”

When people feel understood, they become less focused on fighting to be heard.

Step 4: Slow the Pace

Escalation thrives on speed.

De-escalation requires intentional pauses.

Lower your voice.

Slow your speech.

Take a breath before responding.

A calm nervous system is contagious.

When one person refuses to match the intensity of the argument, it often becomes much harder for the conflict to continue escalating.

Step 5: Redirect Toward Resolution

Once the emotional intensity begins to drop, shift the conversation toward problem-solving.

Ask:

  • “What would help you feel supported here?”
  • “What’s the biggest concern you’re trying to solve?”
  • “How can we approach this differently moving forward?”

These questions move the conversation away from blame and toward collaboration.

The truth is, many husbands who believe their wife argues about everything discover that what she’s really doing is repeatedly expressing an unmet need in an ineffective way.

When you learn to address the need beneath the argument, you’ll often find that the argument itself begins to lose its power.

Now, before I get into the tips, there’s a quick story behind why I came up with this topic.

I have a client who called me…

He called me, he is married to his wife and they’ve been going through it for a while.

A lot of arguments… a lot of resentments from the part of the wife, and they’re going through it.

So every now and then he will call me and I’ll give him some tips here and there.

Basically, I’m coaching him in a mild way.

When he called me, I could hear the wife in the background telling him that I’m a third party.

She said I’m an outsider, and he should not be sharing anything that’s going on in their family with me.

Now there’s a twist to the tips I’m going to share with you right now.

There are 5 tips…, If your “Wife argues about everything”.

PREVIOUS POST: “My WIFE WANTS A DIVORCE How Can I CHANGE HER MIND?” – 5 tips

The main issue here is the argument–It’s not about her opinion of where I belong. She is, in fact, very correct that I’m a third party.

I am an outsider when it comes to that marriage.

The more important thing in that scenario is the argument and the very heated argument that’s basically going on between the both of them at that point in time,

…and how he was handling it.

That’s more of the tips that I want to share with you right now…

Tip #1 – When you engage in an argument with your wife, Countdown 30 seconds.

You can’t cheat… you can’t afford to cheat on this one.

You need to countdown 30 seconds and try to take as much deep breath as possible while you’re counting down to 30 seconds.

I want you to trust me.

Trust God that heaven is not about to fall apart because your wife disagrees with you on whatever.

Unless it has to do with safety and security, there is absolutely no need for you to be right in that conversation.

And that’s why I’m asking you, take a countdown from 30 to 0.

Tip #2 – You wanna let go of your right to be right.

TRENDING: HOW TO CHANGE MYSELF TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE

I think I just hinted that real quick.

The reason why anyone engages in an argument is that they feel the need to be right.

We’re all like that as human beings.

When we engage in a little debate, it turns out to be an argument.

Then it’s: “I’m right and you’re wrong.”

And essentially, even if you end up winning the battle of you’re right and then she’s wrong,

…you’re still wrong because unfortunately or fortunately, this is a relationship.

And if she holds any resentment against you because you managed to convince her that you won the argument, it’s just twice as bad.

Just keep that at the back of your mind.

Let go of all your right to be right–at least for now.

Because again, you’re engaged in a heated argument… no matter how right you are, the situation is wrong.

The dynamics of that relationship at that moment is wrong.

Tip #3 – Turn it to an active listening session.

Now, this is very tricky.

This is can be very hard to do because again, remember,

…truthfully, you are caught up in your feelings and you do feel like you’re right.

You do feel like you know what you’re talking about.

But again if you did Tip #1, the 30 seconds countdown, this should be easier for you.

Turn into an active listening session.

Don’t just shut up.

Don’t be dismissive.

This is something that I myself am still working on.

It’s quite easy to go into the dismissive mode, but just try to actively listen to what your spouse or your wife is trying to say to you.

They’re coming from somewhere and it’s usually not easy to detect where they’re coming from just by listening to the words.

You have to listen not just to the words, but behind the scenes of why they’re saying what they’re saying from an emotional standpoint.

Tip #4 – Repeat what you’re hearing back to her.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

So instead of you feeling the need to react to everything she’s saying,

Repeat what she said back to her.

For example,

She says, “no, he’s an outsider. He is a third party!”

“hmm interesting. So you’re saying he’s a third party. I agree with you. I actually agree with you. You’re saying … [WHATEVER SHE’S SAYING]”.

You see, it’s a little awkward because it’s not the easiest thing to do.

So why don’t just keep it simple? Repeat what she said back to her.

“He’s a third party…Okay, tell me more, babe”, just say tell me more.

Tip #5 – Ask her to tell you more.

Repeat what she said.

Ask her to tell you more.

Like, even if this creates awkwardness, she will calm down,

…try to hear what you’re trying to say and trying to probably put her words a little bit better.

Because again, when people are soaked up in their emotions, it’s also difficult for them.

It’s a good chance that they’re not expressing clearly whatever they’re trying to say.

But if you repeat what she said back to her, which is essentially tip #4,

…you now go to tip #5 and say, “Okay, so you’re saying he’s wrong? Tell me more”

Exactly.

You know, she will calm down and then probably tell you a little bit clearer.

By the way, here’s a bonus tip.

When I say conversation, let go of all your need to say your part. “Can I say something?”

Let her finish everything she has to say.

Trust me when you do that, you’re not losing.

Remember it’s not about losing, you’re actually winning because she gets to express everything she wants to say.

And this is going to require a lot of patience.

This is easier said than done but the alternative of this is that you’re gonna lose your relationship and your marriage slowly.

It’s gonna die a slow death and that’s not what we want, right?

So that’s what I have for you .

If you engage in negative and toxic energy arguments with your wife all the time,

…just follow these 5 tips and all should be well.

Practice it over and over and over, and it should get easier with time.

Check this Out: 5 Signs Your Wife Doesn’t Respect You

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you deal with an argumentative wife?

The most effective way to deal with an argumentative wife is to stop focusing on winning individual disagreements and start focusing on improving the overall communication dynamic. Listen for the emotion behind her words, avoid becoming defensive, validate her concerns where appropriate, and resist the urge to argue every point. When one spouse changes how they engage during conflict, it often changes the entire interaction.

Why does my wife argue about everything I say?

There can be many reasons your wife seems to argue about everything. She may feel unheard, disrespected, overwhelmed, disconnected, or frustrated about unresolved issues in the relationship. In some cases, arguing becomes a learned communication pattern. Rather than focusing solely on what she’s doing, it’s important to examine how both partners contribute to the cycle and whether deeper relationship concerns are fueling the constant disagreements.

Is constant arguing a sign of a failing marriage?

Not necessarily. Constant arguing is often a sign of poor communication, unresolved resentment, unmet emotional needs, or ineffective conflict-resolution skills. While frequent conflict can damage a marriage if left unaddressed, many couples learn healthier ways to communicate and go on to build stronger relationships. The key is addressing the underlying issues rather than simply trying to stop the arguments themselves.

What should I do when my wife disagrees with everything?

When your wife seems to disagree with everything, avoid immediately defending your position or trying to prove her wrong. Instead, ask questions, seek clarification, and try to understand what concern or emotion is driving her response. Taking a step back, practicing active listening, and responding calmly can help break the cycle of constant disagreement and create more productive conversations.

Posted on

Wife Makes No Effort in Bed: Understanding the Real Reasons and Rebuilding Intimacy

📌 Author's Note from Lola & Ola:
If you are reading this right now, we know the heartbreak of watching the desire, intimacy, and warmth fade out of your relationship. We survived our own marriage completely dying at the 9-year mark and rebuilt a 20+ year roadmap from it. Before you dive into the details below, grab our complete book Get My Marriage Back for FREE right now so you have an immediate, step-by-step action plan to turn things around.

Wife Makes No Effort in Bed: Understanding the Real Reasons and Rebuilding Intimacy

When it feels like your wife makes no effort in bed, the emotional impact can be significant.

You may feel rejected, unwanted, frustrated, or even question the future of your relationship.

Wife Makes NO EFFORT In BED

Perhaps your wife never initiates intimacy, seems disengaged during sex, or appears uninterested in exploring new experiences together.

If you’re asking yourself, “Why does my wife make no effort in bed?” it’s important to understand that the answer is rarely as simple as a lack of desire.

In many cases, there are deeper emotional, relational, physical, or psychological factors influencing intimacy.

The good news is that many couples can improve their connection when they approach the issue with patience, understanding, and effective communication.

What Does It Mean When a Wife Makes No Effort in Bed?

When people say their wife makes no effort in bed, they are often referring to one or more of the following situations:

  • She rarely or never initiates intimacy.
  • She appears emotionally disconnected during intimate moments.
  • She participates out of obligation (duty) rather than enthusiasm.
  • She avoids discussions about improving intimacy.
  • She shows little interest in physical affection outside the bedroom.

It’s important to remember that intimacy is experienced differently by different people.

What feels like a lack of effort to one partner may feel completely normal to another.

Expectations that are never communicated can create misunderstandings and resentment.

Before assuming the worst, it’s worth examining whether both partners have a shared understanding of what satisfying intimacy looks like.

“My Wife Doesn’t Initiate Intimacy: What Could Be Causing It?”

One of the most common complaints from husbands is, “My wife doesn’t initiate intimacy.”

While this can feel deeply personal, many factors may contribute:

Stress and Mental Overload

Many wives juggle responsibilities involving work, children, household management, and emotional labor. When someone is mentally exhausted, intimacy often becomes a lower priority.

Emotional Disconnection

For many women, emotional intimacy and physical intimacy are closely connected. If unresolved conflicts, resentment, or feelings of neglect exist, sexual desire may decline.

Hormonal or Health Issues

Hormonal changes, medications, depression, anxiety, and other health concerns can significantly affect libido and sexual interest.

Relationship Patterns

Over time, some couples fall into predictable routines where one partner becomes the primary initiator. What starts as a pattern can eventually feel like a permanent dynamic.

Here Are Some Signs Your Wife Is Not Sexually Attracted to Me

Many men worry that reduced intimacy automatically means attraction has disappeared.

However, attraction is only one piece of the puzzle.

Some possible signs your wife is not sexually attracted to you may include:

  • Consistently avoiding physical affection.
  • Showing little interest in romantic connection.
  • Frequently rejecting intimacy without explanation.
  • Expressing dissatisfaction with the relationship.
  • Avoiding conversations about intimacy altogether.

However, none of these signs alone prove a lack of attraction. Stress, emotional struggles, health concerns, and unresolved relationship issues can create similar behaviors.

Rather than jumping to conclusions, focus on understanding the underlying cause.

What if Your Wife Is Not Adventurous in Bed: Is That a Problem?

It’s important to distinguish between differing preferences and actual relationship problems.

Not everyone approaches intimacy with the same level of openness or curiosity.

Upbringing, cultural beliefs, religious values, personal comfort levels, and past experiences all influence how people express themselves sexually.

Instead of focusing on what your wife isn’t doing, try asking:

  • What makes her feel comfortable and safe?
  • What experiences does she genuinely enjoy?
  • What emotional conditions help her become more engaged?

Creating a positive environment often leads to greater openness than criticism or pressure ever could.

What If My Wife Makes No Effort to Be Attractive?

Some men feel hurt because their wife makes no effort to be attractive anymore.

While physical attraction matters in relationships, it’s important to approach this topic carefully.

Often, what appears to be a lack of effort is actually a symptom of something deeper.

Potential factors include:

  • Stress and burnout.
  • Low self-esteem.
  • Depression or anxiety.
  • Feeling unappreciated.
  • Physical health challenges.
  • Feeling disconnected from the relationship.

Before addressing appearance, consider whether emotional needs are being met on both sides.

Feeling valued, desired, and appreciated often influences how much effort someone invests in themselves and the relationship.

What to Do When Your Wife Doesn’t Want You Sexually

If you’re wondering what to do when your wife doesn’t want you sexually, the first step is to avoid making assumptions.

Many men immediately conclude:

  • She no longer loves me.
  • She’s not attracted to me.
  • She’s intentionally withholding affection.

In reality, the situation is often more complex.

1. Start With Curiosity Instead of Accusation

Approach the conversation with genuine interest rather than blame.

I wouldn’t start with common questions such as:

  • “How have you been feeling about our relationship lately?”
  • “Is there anything making intimacy difficult for you?”
  • “What can I do to help us reconnect?”

I would focus on expression what you love the most about intimate sessions with her and allow that conversation to lead where it may. Ask her, “what about you?” Open ended questions only.

2. Identify Underlying Issues

Conduct an honest assessment of your relationship.

Consider:

  • Communication quality
  • Emotional connection
  • Conflict patterns
  • Stress levels
  • Physical health concerns

Addressing root causes is often more effective than focusing solely on bedroom behavior.

3. Recreate Positive Experiences

Think back to periods when your relationship felt most connected and romantic.

What were you doing differently?

  • More quality time?
  • More flirting?
  • More affection?
  • Less pressure?

Reintroducing positive experiences can help rebuild emotional and physical connection.

4. Focus on Shared Enjoyment

Intimacy works best when both partners feel valued and understood.

Instead of focusing exclusively on your desired outcome, focus on creating experiences that both partners enjoy and anticipate.

I Want My Wife to Want Me Again

That reflects a desire that goes far beyond physical intimacy.

Most people don’t simply want sex—they want:

  • To feel desired.
  • To feel chosen.
  • To feel emotionally connected.
  • To feel important to their partner.

If this is your situation, recognize that rebuilding desire is often a gradual process.

Patience matters.

Trying to force change typically creates resistance.

Creating safety, appreciation, emotional connection, and positive experiences often produces much better results over time.

Is Lack of Intimacy Always a Relationship Crisis?

Not necessarily.

Every couple experiences fluctuations in intimacy.

Major life events such as:

  • Parenting young children
  • Career changes
  • Financial stress
  • Health challenges
  • Grief or loss

…can temporarily affect intimacy.

The key question isn’t whether intimacy has declined but whether you as a partner is willing to work together to understand why.

When Professional Help Can Make a Difference

Sometimes couples become stuck in patterns they cannot resolve alone.

Seeking support from a qualified marriage counselor or relationship therapist can help:

  • Improve communication.
  • Identify hidden resentments.
  • Rebuild emotional connection.
  • Address intimacy concerns.
  • Develop practical strategies for moving forward.

An experienced counselor can help tailor solutions to your specific relationship rather than relying on generic advice.

Moving from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be

Think of your relationship like a journey.

If your goal is greater intimacy, enthusiasm, and connection, you must first understand your current reality without judgment.

Many couples become frustrated because they focus entirely on where they want to be while ignoring where they are.

The most successful couples:

  1. Acknowledge the current situation honestly.
  2. Identify underlying obstacles.
  3. Create positive shared experiences.
  4. Move forward gradually and patiently.

Even modest improvements can dramatically increase relationship satisfaction and create momentum for further growth.

Further More…

If your wife makes no effort in bed, it’s understandable to feel discouraged.

However, viewing the situation solely as a bedroom problem may cause you to miss the bigger picture.

In many cases, intimacy challenges reflect deeper issues involving emotional connection, communication, stress, health, or unmet needs.

By approaching the situation with patience, empathy, and a willingness to understand your wife’s perspective, you greatly increase the chances of rebuilding the connection you both desire.

Remember: lasting intimacy is rarely created through pressure.

It is built through understanding, appreciation, and shared experiences that bring two people closer together.

Question: “Wife Makes NO EFFORT In BED”

This is a very common issue.

There’s a lot that we need to know, in order to know how to help you if you’re experiencing this problem.

But let me point out a few things that you probably should pay attention to.

A wife not making any efforts in bed is a sign of many things.

It could be a sign of many things.

The last thing that should be in your mind, by the way is,

…is she not interested in you sexually anymore?

That’s the last thing, Is it a possibility?

Yes, it’s a possibility, but it should be the last thing on your mind because keep in mind that,

…before a woman can get into the headspace where they’re making efforts in bed, there’s a lot that has to have happened.

Now, for a man, there are a lot of studies that show that man actively,

…like even if we’re going through the worst things in life, let’s say we lost our job.

Financially we’re not feeling good, we’re not feeling adequate, we’re not feeling fulfilled.

There are many studies that show that, one way we can get over that is to just have sex and we’ll be fine.

But a typical woman doesn’t operate that way.

If things are wrong or things that off in the other aspect of their life,

…they’re not gonna wanna be a part off some kind of sexual activity with you, even regular sex.

How much more asking them to make efforts.

So , wife makes no effort in bed,

that means you’re having sex but she’s not doing anything.

She’s just lying down there and you do your thing and you keep it moving.

I understand you.

If you like me, I like my wife to participate.

I like the idea when my wife is also initiating, participating and also being involved in doing some things but I also enjoyed giving.

Usually a lot of people would try to find a sweet balance or equal balance between two spouses, two partners like now you should be doing equal.

But in real life, it doesn’t work like that.

Life is not perfect, it’s not symmetrical.

It can feel symmetrical if you guys are having fun but it’s not symmetrical.

Meaning it’s not, like equal-equal like that.

The way it works is that, you bring what you have and I bring what I have,

…and then we’re having a good time.

That’s how you started dating, that’s how you fell in love and that’s how you are attracted to each other.

But things have changed, maybe you’re having kids, maybe life has happened, maybe you lost your job or maybe she lost a parent.

Maybe there are things going on personally with her mentally speaking.

The first step you wanna do is make sure you’re doing proper listening.

You need to understand what are the underlying reasons why your wife makes no effort in bed.

PREVIOUS POST: “5 Signs Your Wife DOESN’T RESPECT YOU”

Now, if she’s not having sex at all, then you will be worried about all that.

If she’s just not making any effort, there’s a good chance that the excitement is dissipating.

She lost the excitement, the butterflies that she used to have,

…the excitement, the fact that she used to look forward to that, she has lost all of that.

So, I’m gonna give you a couple of tips to see if you can revive things,

But just keep in mind that whatever you already do right now,

…I’m recommending, make sure it’s the opposite of it because the idea is you wanna bring in some excitement.

And anything that’s old will become boring.

Anything that’s readily available becomes boring.

It’s not just women and men, it’s not just husband and wife is anything in life.

It’s demand and supply.

See how you can do some inventory in your dynamics and your activities during the course of the day.

You may have been just very predictable.

If you’re very predictable, there is a good chance that you’re boring.

Maybe not particularly you, that’s why you don’t want to take it personally but the dynamic of your particular relationship is now boring to her.

You haven’t got that far yet because rejection breeds obsession, you are being rejected right now, so you can’t see that,

…but the relationship itself is probably boring right now.

She caught that signal first before you so now, before you could catch it, you’re feeling rejected and now you’re obsessed.

When I say all of that again, don’t over think that.

Just think of it as some kind of scientific experiment in front of you but you need to bring in some excitement into your relationship.

If you don’t have that, you know she’s not gonna make any extra effort in bed.

You’re lucky if she is still sleeping and just allowing you to do your thing right because that means you can switch things around.

TRENDING: 5 Stages that Leads to a Sexless Marriage 💔

You could literally say, “hey, let me avoid her tonight. Let me leave her alone”.

Not necessarily avoid but give her some space so she can miss you and invite you back into the situation.

How long should you wait?

Again, that time that you’re taking off is not just to be waiting, that’s not the idea.

The idea is to find other things you could do to spice things up.

You could buy some other things.

There are things you can learn that can excite her.

You could start with a conversation saying,

“what excites you? I was just wondering. I’m curious what excites you. What is exciting to you right now in your life? I know I’m here. Just pretend I’m not here. What is exciting to you, that you would find exciting right now”.

Maybe you’ve never asked that question before, maybe it’s the first time you’re asking that question.

That kind of conversation can stimulate her and all you have to do is listen.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

If you listen to a woman, if a woman feels heard,

…you’ll be able to penetrate every aspect and every part of her life, her body, her soul and her mind.

Does that make sense?

So let me give you the tip again one more time.

Excitement.

There are things that are not exciting right now,

…but you can bring in some excitement by simply asking a provoking question and say,

“Hey, what is exciting right now for you?” or “What would you find exciting right now?”.

That’s like two questions and one already, “What is exciting for you right now?”

And she will be like, “Why do you wanna know?”.

Then you’ll say, “I’m just curious”.

You’ll have a little spark of your face and you’re not asking for sex, you’re not asking for any of those things you’re just having the conversation.

If you do that long enough and she feels heard, you will be able to penetrate her and then she will participate more.

Also, if you wanna introduce anything else into your sexual relationship, then she will have even more opening and listening ears to hear what you have to say without being defensive.

But, you’ll be able to catch the game.

So it’s about having a game of being able to listen.

That’s what it comes down to.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I deal with wife’s lack of intimacy?

Start by being open to a non-judgmental conversations about the relationship and her feelings. Look for underlying causes such as stress, emotional disconnection, health concerns, or unresolved conflict. Focus on rebuilding emotional closeness and creating positive experiences together rather than pressuring her for immediate change. And stop handling it from a standpoint of “duty”.

Is lack of intimacy a red flag?

Lack of intimacy can be a red flag if it reflects deeper unresolved issues, ongoing resentment, emotional distance, or unwillingness to address relationship concerns. However, temporary periods of reduced intimacy are common and often linked to life stressors, health issues, or changing circumstances.

Is it normal for married couples not to be intimate?

Permanently? No… But Yes, many married couples experience periods of reduced intimacy. Factors such as parenting, work stress, health challenges, aging, and life transitions can affect sexual frequency. What matters most is whether both partners are satisfied with the level of intimacy and willing to communicate openly about their needs.

Posted on

3 Signs My SEPARATED WIFE Wants to RECONCILE

📌 Author's Note from Lola & Ola:
If you are reading this right now, we know the heartbreak of watching the desire, intimacy, and warmth fade out of your relationship. We survived our own marriage completely dying at the 9-year mark and rebuilt a 20+ year roadmap from it. Before you dive into the details below, grab our complete book Get My Marriage Back for FREE right now so you have an immediate, step-by-step action plan to turn things around.

If you’re searching for signs your wife wants to reconcile after separation, you’re probably looking for reassurance that your marriage still has a chance.

Maybe you’ve been asking yourself:

  • What is my wife thinking during separation?
  • Are there any positive signs during separation?
  • Are there signs my separated wife wants to reconcile?
  • Or am I missing signs your wife doesn’t want to reconcile?

These are natural questions.

When a marriage is in limbo, it’s easy to analyze every text, every conversation, and every interaction looking for clues. But before we discuss the biggest signs your wife wants to reconcile, there are a few important things you need to understand.

In many cases, the way you handle separation has a direct impact on whether you see more positive signs during separation or more signs your wife doesn’t want to reconcile.

Let’s start with the foundation.

signs my separated wife wants to reconcile

When to Give Up On Separation 💔 Average Length & Rebuilding Attraction

Every Separation Is Different

One reason people misread signs their wife wants to reconcile is because they compare their situation to someone else’s.

The reality is that every marriage has a unique history, unique challenges, and unique circumstances.

What may be one of the signs your separated spouse wants to reconcile in one marriage may not mean exactly the same thing in another.

That’s why you should be careful about relying on generic advice without considering your specific situation.

The goal is not to compare your journey to someone else’s. The goal is to understand what’s happening in your marriage and respond accordingly.

Don’t Become Obsessed With Looking for Signs

Ironically, people searching for signs wife wants to reconcile often become so focused on finding signs that they lose sight of what really matters.

They analyze every message.

They overthink every interaction.

They spend hours wondering what their spouse meant by a particular comment.

The problem is that obsession rarely creates clarity.

In fact, it often creates anxiety, fear, and behaviors that can push a spouse further away.

Rather than spending every day looking for signs your wife misses you during separation, focus on becoming the strongest version of yourself.

That mindset creates better outcomes than constant analysis ever will.

What Is My Wife Thinking During Separation?

This is one of the most common questions husbands ask.

The truth is that nobody can fully know what your wife is thinking during separation except your wife.

However, one thing is generally true: separation creates space for reflection.

Your wife may be evaluating the relationship.

She may be considering what worked and what didn’t.

She may be thinking about the future.

She may be comparing life with and without the marriage.

This is exactly why giving healthy space is so important.

When someone feels free to think clearly, they often gain perspective they couldn’t access while caught in the daily conflicts that led to the separation.

Why Giving Space Creates More Positive Signs During Separation

Many husbands make the mistake of believing that more contact automatically improves their chances of reconciliation.

That’s not always true.

Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is create room for both people to breathe.

Healthy space allows emotions to settle.

Healthy space allows perspective to develop.

Healthy space allows your wife to reflect on the relationship without feeling pressured.

Ironically, many positive signs during separation begin to appear only after pressure is removed from the situation.

Don’t Let Fear Convince You That She’s Gone Forever

One of the biggest challenges during separation is managing fear.

Your mind naturally starts asking questions:

What if she meets someone else?

What if she’s already moved on?

What if these are actually signs a wife is not coming back after separation?

Those fears are understandable.

But fear is often a poor predictor of reality.

Many marriages that eventually reconcile go through periods of uncertainty where neither spouse knows exactly what the future will look like.

That’s why it’s important not to confuse temporary distance with permanent loss.

Focus Less on the Negative Signs and More on Your Growth

There are certainly signs your wife doesn’t want to reconcile that should be taken seriously.

Likewise, there are signs your separated spouse wants to reconcile that should be encouraging.

But your primary focus should not be on trying to control her decisions.

Your primary focus should be on improving yourself.

Work on your confidence.

Work on your emotional stability.

Work on your communication skills.

Work on becoming the healthiest version of yourself.

Not only is that beneficial for you personally, but it also positions you more favorably if reconciliation becomes possible.

Before We Discuss the Signs Your Wife Wants to Reconcile

Before we get into the three biggest signs your wife wants to reconcile after separation, remember this:

Don’t spend your days chasing signs.

Don’t spend your days trying to decode every action.

Don’t spend your days obsessing over what your wife may or may not be thinking.

Focus on your own growth.

Focus on your own confidence.

Focus on becoming the best version of yourself.

Because when you do that, you’ll be in a much better position to recognize the genuine signs your wife wants to reconcile—and avoid misinterpreting the signs your wife doesn’t want to reconcile.

Now let’s look at the three strongest signs your wife wants to reconcile after separation.

I want to share with you the “3 Signs My separated wife wants to reconcile”.

So there are three signs that I want to share with you,

…there are probably a couple more signs than three, but these three are the most important as far as I can see.

You didn’t just get here overnight like your separation did not just happen overnight, right?

Things started to happen probably over years, for the most part it’s over a year.

Bottom line is that over a period of time, there was a breakdown in your relationship or in your marriage and it led to a separation.

It’s not a matter of right and wrong as usual, it’s not a matter if who is more right who is more wrong.

It’s about who wants the marriage back and who wants to get back together.

Whoever is the one who wants the marriage back is the one that needs to seemingly do most of the work,

I used the word seemingly very carefully because a lot of time people may be quiet.

They may seem like they shut down and they don’t want the marriage back,

…but they are in fact doing most of the emotional work involved in potentially getting the marriage back.

It’s painful for anyone to want to end a marriage, even if they’re the one initiating in ending the marriage.

It’s a painful thing to go through for both the person who shuts down and the person who got shut down on.

With that being said, let’s get into the 3 Signs:

1. She is friendly.

PREVIOUS POST: How do I deal with an Annoying Wife?

So if she’s being friendly, it’s not a 100% green light but it’s somewhat a yellow light.

You know there are certain countries, just in case you don’t know,

There are certain countries in the world that the yellow light comes on first before the green light comes on.

Here in the United States, it’s not like that.

It goes from red to green and then you can take off, but there’s some certain part of the world where it goes to yellow first.

Just like saying “Get ready you’re about to take off” right?

You don’t want to look up for some kind of yellow light and that’s usually when she’s being friendly.

It’s not a guarantee that she’s ready to get back together, but at that point in time, you also can let down your guard.

See, you may think you’re the one that wants the marriage back and you’re the one doing most of the work.

Like I said earlier, that’s not necessarily true.

That would only be true if there is no emotion involved in the situation.

Some people, the way they shut down is by literally expressing to you that they want out,

…some people are by begging that they want to keep the marriage.

You can in fact be saying “I want to keep the marriage”, but in fact you have exited and that’s what caused the breakdown of the marriage (topic for another day).

Again, if she’s being friendly, that could be a sign that she’s ready to reconcile,

…that doesn’t mean you should run towards her and start going crazy.

You’ll find out why I say that in sign number 3.

2. She Spends Time Around You.

TRENDING: 5 Tricks to Fix Your Marriage ❤️

Typically, when somebody is not open to the idea of reconciling, they don’t want to spend time with you.

As a matter of fact, you’ll notice that even if they have to drop off babies, they want to drop off the babies and just keep it moving.

If they have to end up in a situation in the room with you, with other friends, they tend to avoid that,

… because they’re going through the emotional turmoils of the breakdown of the relationship.

They feel hurt, the keyword is Feeling Hurt.

So you don’t want to dwell on the fact that they are hurt or maybe you’re the one that hurt them.

You don’t wanna be too particular about that.

If they feel hurt, validate that and it’s okay, it doesn’t mean you hurt them but they feel hurt.

So that’s typically what happens when a person is exiting a relationship or they’re not in a position to reconcile.

They don’t want to spend time with you.

But with time, if you give them time, they tend to look into the past with a rose gold color lens.

They’ll look at the good things if you stay out of their face, if you give them that time.

So if you’ve given them that time and they start to spend some time with you.

Subconsciously they start to forget the bad experiences that made them decide that they wanted to exist in the first place and they start to spend time with you…

That could be a good sign that they want to reconcile.

3. You Have Worked on Yourself.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

See, it doesn’t matter if you feel like you’re not the one at fault.

It doesn’t matter if you feel like you’re the one that’s been lifting or carrying the marriage or relationship for a long time.

Something happened and usually it’s something about yourself about how you handle yourself emotionally.

We don’t know what that is unless I talk to you personally but something happened for sure 100% that was also part of the reason why the marriage or the relationship broke down.

Whatever that thing that happened, whatever that thing is, you need to figure it out

…and you need to work on yourself first, before you try to reconcile with your wife.

If you don’t, the next breakdown is gonna be worse and it could be a lot more damaging.

One of the things here is that you need to understand that time and patients are part of the formula to reconciling and bringing your marriage back to where you want it to be.

Into bliss and to happiness right.

So don’t shut yourself, don’t shortchange yourself when it comes to the time that’s required to do that,

…work on yourself.

If you’ve made sure that you’ve worked on yourself, you will also find out that sign #1 and #2 probably already started to play out.

Meaning they are being friendly (#1) and then they start to spend time around you (#2).

They could blame it on the children for any other reasons, it’s because of friends,

…but they are okay with the idea of spending time around you.

It’s usually a sign that you’ve worked on yourself, which is sign #3.

Those are the three signs that it may be time that your separated wife wants to reconcile with you.

Just make sure those three things are in place and then you can potentially look for signs to come in and ask for a date or to have a conversation,

But if you don’t see those signs, if you haven’t worked on yourself especially #3, don’t bother.

It’s not worth it to be in a toxic relationship or marriage, it’s just never worth it.

You wanna be in a relationship where people respect each other, where people are absolutely happy.

Giving each other freedom to be in that relationship, it needs to feel like freedom, period.

That’s all I have for you right now.

All you have to do is pay for the membership, It’s a one time fee.

We put a nice deal over there for you, you’re gonna get over $500 worth of bonuses.

Just for being a part of the membership or family here, where we basically work together to nurture marriages, to nurture families, to make sure that you don’t become a statistic.

That’s 50% horrible statistics of marriages falling apart.

That’s all I for you on this episode, we’ll see on the next one.

Peace.

Check this out: 5 Signs a Marriage Is Ending (And How to Know If It’s Over)

How Often Do Separated Couples Reconcile?

While every marriage is different, reconciliation after separation is more common than many people realize. A separation does not automatically mean a marriage is headed for divorce. In fact, many couples use separation as an opportunity to gain perspective, address unhealthy patterns, and determine whether the relationship is worth rebuilding. The likelihood of reconciliation often depends on factors such as the reasons for the separation, the willingness of both spouses to grow, and whether communication remains open. Rather than focusing on statistics, it’s usually more productive to focus on creating the conditions that make reconciliation possible.

How Do I Know If My Separated Wife Wants to Reconcile?

If your separated wife wants to reconcile, her actions will typically reveal more than her words. Positive signs during separation may include initiating conversations, showing curiosity about your life, maintaining consistent communication, expressing appreciation, bringing up positive memories, or showing interest in spending time together. She may also become more receptive to discussing the relationship and future possibilities. However, it’s important not to overanalyze every interaction. The strongest signs your wife wants to reconcile are usually patterns of behavior that demonstrate continued emotional investment rather than isolated moments of friendliness or politeness.

What Makes a Separated Wife Come Back?

There is rarely one single thing that makes a separated wife come back. More often, reconciliation happens when she feels safe and secure. But also when she begins to see meaningful change, emotional maturity, and a healthier dynamic than the one that contributed to the separation. This doesn’t mean becoming someone else or trying to convince her to return. It means focusing on your own growth, improving communication skills, managing emotions effectively, and demonstrating genuine confidence and stability. When a wife has the freedom to reflect without pressure, she may begin comparing the future she imagines without the marriage to the possibility of rebuilding a stronger relationship. Ultimately, authentic personal growth tends to be far more persuasive than chasing, pleading, or trying to force an outcome.

Posted on

💔 Kevin Samuels’ High Value Man vs High Quality Man & His Legacy

📌 Author's Note from Lola & Ola:
If you are reading this right now, we know the heartbreak of watching the desire, intimacy, and warmth fade out of your relationship. We survived our own marriage completely dying at the 9-year mark and rebuilt a 20+ year roadmap from it. Before you dive into the details below, grab our complete book Get My Marriage Back for FREE right now so you have an immediate, step-by-step action plan to turn things around.

In this lesson, we are going to talk about Kevin Samuel’s high value man rhetoric, why it is dangerous and the only 10 goods we can take from him.

WARNING!

This is not a video where we are going to bash Kevin Samuels blindly because we want to be feminists or just for clout.  

This lesson is more-so for people who may blindly apply his “high value man” rhetoric wrongly in an actual romantic relationship or marriage.

You will also discover the 7 core values of the almighty High Quality Man and why you want to be him (gentleman) or want to be with him (ladies).

Late 2020, we stumbled into a video of Kevin Samuels going in heavily on a young lady who called into his YouTube show.

Apparently, she was a business owner who felt she deserved a 6 figure high value man.  

She felt the need to call into this man’s show to explain herself on how she has a lot to offer and she got what she got from Kevin.

Here is where we agree with Kevin.  If you have a lot to offer, time… and not your mouth will tell and that’s the reality.

In efforts to convince her to appreciate and consider the average earning man, Kevin got into a debate with this lady as he does quite often.

As she was trying to ask Kevin another question… starting with how she looks to herself, Kevin interrupted as he does often to ask her how she rates herself on a scale of 1-10.

The rule: she could not use 7 so she answered 5 when she wakes up and 6 when she uses makeup…. Height 5’5’’ and a size 3.

We were like…. Whoaaaaa… Ladies… 

His response was that higher earning men tend not to get with average looking women.  I don’t know what world he lives in but that’s absolutely inaccurate.

The surprise-matches happen all the time in all age groups across the board. To be fair, he did exclude people who got together when they were young.

But I also feel that a low self-esteem lady calling into a show to seek Kevin’s often petty opinions and to argue with him at the same time deserve whatever they get.  We need Kevin.

Anyways, he ended up telling the lady “You’re Average At Best.”  And again to be fair, he did say, “please don’t make me say it” before he said it.

Here is the real question that we want young men in particular to pay attention to. 

“Did he actually lose his patience or was that pure acting?”

We also want to introduce you to the high quality man.  

You have to admit that a high quality man sounds more like what you want and that… he has more substance.  Wouldn’t you want to know him or be him?

I know you are probably one of the few wondering who Kevin Samuels is;  I don’t want to assume that you are one of his 800,000+ YouTube subscribers and growing very fast.  

Kevin Samuels is a YouTube relationship statistics expert who suddenly stumbled into massive  fame online between the fall of 2020 and 2021.

He has very controversial and provocative opinions from addressing the modern woman specifically.

One thing we can tell you with all confidence right now after watching his videos is that he has been misunderstood.  

Allow me to explain.

No disrespect to the OG!

I was on a social media app and there were modern women perpetuating a definition of a high value man they claimed they got from Kevin.

Most of them never took the time to watch his videos and try to understand where he is coming from.  We have.  

And we agree but his rhetoric is dangerous to all those modern men in his comments…  

If you haven’t noticed, the modern man seems to be more emotional than ever. The modern man also thinks it’s time to keep scores with the modern woman because she asks for 50-50.

The modern man has forgotten that he also wants to lead a woman who respects, trusts and submits to his leadership.  

Confusion everywhere.  Thanks Kevin.  

After watching 2 of his videos on “What is High Value Man?”…

These modern women like most people on social media had misrepresented his ideas of a high value man.

These are the reasons why they get into these useless arguments about the fantasy of a world without men with other confused modern men who feel like Kevin is their voice right now.

Total chaos!

Under the 1st video that we watched which is “What Is A High Value Man? High Value Men Defined”, he had this 6 characteristics of a high value man:

  1. He makes $10,000 or more per month
  2. He has demonstrated performance over a minimum of 5 years time
  3. He has group acceptance by other high value men
  4. He belongs to a network of other high value men
  5. He has visibility in the society
  6. He has utility which means he is useful to others in the society.

Under the 2nd video which is “FACTS About Being High Value Man”, he broke F.A.C.T as an acronym down to some attributes of a high value man:

  1. Failure – He is a product of a series of failures.
  2. Action – He takes action.
  3. Change – He embraces change as a constant in life.
  4. Time – He understands the value of time in everything.

I am paraphrasing by the way… but those are Kevin’s idea of a high value man.

As you can see, anyone in their right mind would appreciate these points on face value because they just make sense.

But the modern women that I encountered on social media talking about this were stuck on just:

  • Semantics
  • The money, 
  • Salary, 
  • Net worth and Finances, 
  • If he still lives with his mother (regardless of the circumstances) and 
  • The man’s big penis.

The High Focus On Superficial Things Like Money, And Beauty Are Gross And Shallow At Best. 

It’s precisely why these arguments will never end and why many struggle with relationships and marriages.

While some are internalizing Kevin’s rhetoric and using them to check men such as searching literally for “high value men” on dating apps and saying things like…

“If all you have is potential or live with mom temporarily, you are not yet a high value man.”

Some continue to declare their stance against falling in love with potential in a man even though Kevin’s definition of a high value man is a function of failures and time.

If there is such a thing as a high value man, he becomes a high value man long before it reflects in a bank account and to his credit, Kevin reflects that in “facts about high value man.”

  • Failure and
  • Time

But I have to give him the credit for also being responsible in pushing those rhetoric in his application when addressing the modern women who call into his shows… 

Kevin tells them that long term romantic relationships with high value men is a function of beauty.  This is false at all levels.

There are too many beautiful girls who will be single against their will and they can’t all have nasty attitudes as he claims.  

I personally think it’s the epidemic of modern men who lack game.

High Value Man vs High Quality Man

Here is a quick comparison between the dictionary meaning of the word ‘value’ and ‘quality’… 

Value – “To consider or rate highly : prize, esteem values your opinion. 

2a : to estimate or assign the monetary worth of : appraise value a necklace. 

b : to rate or scale in usefulness, importance, or general worth : evaluate. Value.”

Quality – “The standard of something as measured against other things of a similar kind; the degree of excellence of something. A distinctive attribute or characteristic possessed by someone or something.”

Think of the fundamental difference between the 2 words as cookie cutter and tailor made or trending and timeless.

Also, we are not telling you which of these types of men you want to be or want to attract.  You actually get to choose still.

But we can tell you that only high quality men are able to lead in a romantic relationship… 

And everyone else including your typical high value man like Kevin Samuels will exhaust their right to be right and crash their romantic relationship in that process.

And it will still hurt (if not butt-hurt like Kevin) because as it is for the rest of us, love and connection are basic human needs.  

As it is that the modern woman doesn’t get to control their submission, trust and respect for a high quality man as a default, we all don’t get to turn off our basic need for love and connection.

In the next video (part 2), we have to dive in through the 7 core values that all high quality men understand but Kevin’s “high value man” can easily miss.

We will talk about Kevin’s idea of a high value man which is probably and partly why he couldn’t keep his 2 marriages even though we agree with all his 10 characteristics of a high value man.

Finances and beauty are just never enough.

If it’s already available, click on it on the screen now.  Either way, subscribe to ensure that you are getting notified when we upload new videos.

PART 2 IS HERE…

Be sure to watch both parts of this special on Kevin Samuel’s high value man and why he couldn’t save his 2 marriages… Possibly.  But first… 

Here is… 

Why We Agree with Kevin Samuels!

Don’t forget about our book…

GET MY MARRIAGE BACK with my husband OLA

…which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

You will also be able to book a coaching session after downloading the book if you are struggling in a relationship or a marriage.

We agree with all 10 of Kevin Samuels’ attributes of a high value man but there are 7 more core values we want to add to a high value man to become a high quality man.

We believe Kevin Samuels, as a man, is also missing these 7 core values based on watching many of his videos and how he addresses the ladies.

But we are open to being wrong.  We could be wrong,

We do not agree with 99.99% of his application on romantic relationships, the 0.01% we do agree on is probably the facts; the numbers are what they are.

Romantic relationships are driven by emotions and not economics, dictionary meanings, market value or how much people are willing to pay for anything; high value or not.

We agree on his ideas of a high value man but without these 7 additional core values, Kevin’s high value man is trash in the real world and real relationships.

In fact with these 7 core values of a high quality man, you can remove all monetary or financial status from his 10 characteristics and you have yourself a high quality man because money is a by-product anyway.

Ladies.. with a high quality man, no condition is permanent anyway.  You will feel safe, secure and build a romantic life with consistent butterflies in your stomach.

It won’t be a choice to trust, respect and submit to him. It’s a natural occurrence and symptom of romantic experience with a high quality man.

As I said earlier, this is not a Kevin Samuels bashing, parody or reaction video; very funny videos everywhere but this is far from it.  

In fact, we appreciate him in the dating guru marketplace because he is putting a lot of modern women in their place which is a much needed reality check.

These videos where he is addressing some of these “modern women” are extremely entertaining with lots of funny moments. 

So I would agree that he is also much appreciated in entertainment because of all these hilarious videos with him taking on a lot of misguided modern women.

But remember the question I asked earlier.

“Does He Actually Lose His Patience With Modern Women Or It’s Just Pure Acting?”

Kevin Samuels thinks that submission, trusting and respecting a man is a duty.  That’s the trash he is silently pushing through many trash modern high value man.

Those things have to be earned as a response to the level of quality emotions and leadership you sow as a man into a typical romantic relationship.

Religiously or culturally speaking, submission, trust and respect may have been painted to be a duty of a woman; it’s simply not the reality anymore.

We suspect this is why he has been divorced twice allegedly.  To be fair, he takes responsibility for his part on how his marriages played out.

But we know his type.  

He is the type of person who feels entitled because they are honest, hold people accountable including self and take responsibility for outcomes…

But fail to recognize the impact of emotions.

7 Additional Core Values To Become a High Quality Man 

  1. He demonstrates infinite patience with emotional expressions.
  2. He needs no validation of his right & wrong ideologies.
  3. He seeks wisdom beyond facts, statistics & dictionary meanings.
  4. He does not keep scores with women and romantic partners therefore effectively avoiding toxic arguments.
  5. He does not use generalization in romantic issues.
  6. He has a personal purpose & life mission bigger than life.
  7. He understands that money is a by-product of everything else.

When a high quality man understands the infinite patience part of addressing the ladies, it seems that Kevin Samuels referred to him as a simp or beta male.

After watching quite a few videos, we are convinced by Kevin’s general demeanor and conduct.

And his response to these modern women shows that he may have been hurt badly by his past romantic relationships.

You hear it when he goes… “That’s what’s wrong with y’all women…”

A high quality man does not generalize and/or address anybody as such.  

In fact,  a high quality man is so patient that he treats all ladies he encounters including strangers like a lady even when she seems wrong.

By the way, a high quality man can end up in divorce because that’s also a function of so many other variables but not as likely.  But a high quality man will treat his ex-wife like a queen still.

Remember he may value validation but doesn’t really need it.

Contrary to that, Kevin gets very defensive with these ladies and subsequently attacks them right below the belt with the stats of… 

“3 out of 4 black women will NOT marry.”

“I get tired of you broads telling me I’m being mean…”

How many broads have told Kevin he is mean? Oh my God…

There is no room for a high quality man to be that petty unless he is acting.  If he is acting, then kudos to him because he is doing a great job at playing a low quality man.

If you understand women, you will understand the need for an infinite level of patience because your insecurities will be tested by a woman you love.

… and not strangers as in the case of Kevin.  

He can get away with this on his YouTube show but you won’t be able to get away with this in a real romantic relationship.

Becoming a high quality man doesn’t make you dumber than Kevin.  

With a strong sense of personal purpose and a life mission that’s larger than you, that level of patience and zero need for validation is paramount.

He has claimed that high value men avoid loud and non-cooperative women.  That would be true only if they knew up-front.  But that idea is flawed because everyone puts up a front.

So here is the real question…

Can you handle a surprisingly loud and non-cooperative modern woman, seduce and make her trust, respect and submit to your leadership?  

Just having the 666; 6 figure income, 6 feet tall and 6 packs won’t cut it OG.

Why Doesn’t He Address Men with Same Energy?

He claimed he used to be aggressive with men but it just wasn’t as popular.  From experience, I know that to be true to a certain level.

I checked and the energy he gives men is very different.  He doesn’t advise men and I can respect that hustle decision; he claims the response is not as good.

But when you check in the comments though, with all due respect, it’s full of broken and weak men which make Kevin the voice of the people now to check women.  

They really enjoy him when he is rolling his eyes when the modern woman says something that triggers him. Utility right?

Kevin was a guest on the Joe Budden show and he seemed like he had a level of courtesy and patience for men that he has not demonstrated with women in general.

Unless, he is acting or he is just that passionate about educating them, it’s coming off all wrong and the only value anyone is getting is entertainment including us.

The Main Lesson.

We need Kevin Samuels’ Ministry on these streets precisely to give us that dose of reality that the modern woman seems to need.  

But men need to be careful with his rhetoric.

Derrick Jaxn said he hears a lot of adolescence in Kevin’s mentality.  With all due respect OG Godfather, I didn’t say that but I see what he is saying.

We have seen some videos of people trying to expose his past of evictions, legal and financial woes.  Those are useless, unnecessary and irrelevant efforts.  

We all have a past that we are not proud of and Kevin already won there by making a high value man a function of failures and time.

If you want to have an argument with Kevin, Ladies you have to stay on topic and if you are a typical lady, you are incapable because of your nature to be focused on 1,000 topics at the same time. 

He will beat you up with laser focused straight facts even if he has to be petty and lose 2 marriages in that process.

No disrespect but that seems to be what may have happened to Kevin’s 2 marriages.

Kevin Samuels is the kind of person who wants to deal with reality while excluding emotions as part of that reality like most modern men who claim to be more logical than women.

He wins at telling the truth and the facts but if you haven’t learned yet, sooner or later you will learn that you are not guaranteed happiness just because you speak FACTS.

Unfortunately, you are not entitled to holding your lady accountable because you are also claiming to want to lead a romantic relationship in the same breath. 

In fact, that is a direct cause of many men’s heartbreak; Speaking too much facts.

Kevin is right.  

But everyone else who thinks they are right are also right.  That’s why the race to be right is by default a losing battle in all romantic relationships.

99% romance, regardless of who you are, is driven by emotions.

Kevin’s stats can’t change that.  

But we also agree, also in agreement with the undefeatable Ms Iyanla Vanzant, that the modern woman is out of order in a lot of ways.But “whose standard order?” is also a valid question… Let’s discuss.

7 Tips for Saving a Marriage When You’re the Only One Trying

ex wife kevin samuels net worth

Remembering Kevin Samuels: Exploring His Legacy and Relationships

The world of relationship advice and self-improvement gained a notable voice in Kevin Samuels, who left a mark with his candid and often contentious viewpoints.

His presence on various social media platforms and YouTube was remarkable, drawing a substantial following.

Beyond his controversial discussions, the finer details of his net worth and his past relationships, including his ex-wife, have intrigued many.

We’ll take a lighthearted look back at Kevin Samuels’ net worth, his journey to fame, and how his ex-wife influenced his path.

Kevin Samuels: The Highlights

Kevin Samuels was a well-known life coach, image consultant, and online personality.

His claim to fame was his YouTube channel, where he dished out relationship advice, dating insights, and personal development tips.

He had a reputation for being candid, often using terms like “high value” and “low value” that, while dividing opinions, managed to resonate with a wide range of audiences.

Cracking the Code of Kevin Samuels’ Net Worth

Back in September 2021, the exact numbers for Kevin Samuels’ net worth weren’t on public display.

Remember, though, that these figures can shift with time, influenced by factors such as his growing subscriber base, collaborations, book sales, and speaking engagements.

Kevin’s financial inflow seemed to come primarily from his online ventures, like monetization on YouTube, brand partnerships, merchandise sales, and consulting services.

It’s safe to say that his knack for sparking attention and discussion online contributed substantially to both his popularity and his potential earnings.

The Hidden Force: Kevin’s Ex-Wife

While Kevin Samuels’ ex-wife isn’t the spotlight’s focus, she played a quieter yet significant role in his journey.

While the details of their relationship and divorce were kept mostly private, it’s evident that these experiences shaped his views on relationships and informed his advice.

Kevin often drew from his own marital experiences when addressing relationship dynamics.

His unique perspective might well have been shaped by the challenges he faced, which likely played a role in his thoughts on traditional gender roles, effective communication, and compatibility.

Claiming the Spotlight and Making an Impact

Kevin Samuels’ rise to fame came thanks to his fearless confrontation of sensitive topics and his knack for direct communication.

His straightforward approach, coupled with his self-assuredness, attracted supporters and critics alike.

The moments that went viral, the debates that got heated, and the transformative advice he provided sparked numerous conversations online.

The ripple effect of Kevin’s teachings wasn’t confined to relationships alone.

His insights touched on personal development and the importance of self-improvement.

He was an advocate for individuals working on themselves not only to attract potential partners but to lead more enriching lives overall.

Kevin Samuels’ Net Worth was always a Subject of Curiosity.

Thanks to his status as a relationship advisor and online influencer.

Though exact figures remained under wraps, there’s no denying that his online presence, his knack for stirring the pot, and his consulting services had a say in his potential earnings.

While the role of his ex-wife might not have been the headline, it surely played a part in shaping his viewpoint on relationships and communication.

His rise to fame, attributed to his unique communication style and his willingness to tackle thorny topics, solidified his status as a central figure in the world of relationship advice and self-growth.

In discussing figures and personal experiences concerning public figures, let’s always remember the value of respect and sensitivity.

After all, the whole story might not always be laid bare for everyone to see.

Frequently Asked Questions

What was the cause of death for Kevin Samuels?

The cause of Kevin Samuels’ death has not been publicly disclosed.

What was Kevin Samuels doing when he died?

The specific circumstances of Kevin Samuels’ activities at the time of his death are not widely known.

Who is Kevin Samuels and what did he do?

Kevin Samuels was a prominent figure known for his role as a life coach, image consultant, and online personality, offering relationship advice and personal development insights.

What was Kevin Samuels worth when he died?

At the time of his passing in May 2022, Kevin Samuels had an estimated net worth of around $4 million.

Posted on

Disrespectful Wife? FINALLY What To Do… (5 Tips)

📌 Author's Note from Lola & Ola:
If you are reading this right now, we know the heartbreak of watching the desire, intimacy, and warmth fade out of your relationship. We survived our own marriage completely dying at the 9-year mark and rebuilt a 20+ year roadmap from it. Before you dive into the details below, grab our complete book Get My Marriage Back for FREE right now so you have an immediate, step-by-step action plan to turn things around.

Today, we are responding to 3 different comments and messages. And the first one says…

“Going through this right now. We still do things at home together, stop going out due to the separation…”

And here is the second one… 

“I have all the 5 signs that show a wife’s disrespect to her husband. Now I’m wondering how to deal with those wives with these signs.”

This was actually a comment response to a video we did a while back that has 20,000+ views on it.  

Just search “5 Signs Your Wife DOESN’T RESPECT YOU LOLA and OLA” on Youtube after watching this.  It comes right up.

Here is a quick recap of the 5 signs of a disrespectful wife that was mentioned in that video: 

1 – She utters rude remarks

2 – She gives you the silent treatment

3 – She doesn’t sought after your advice and opinion

4 – She seems to honor other people’s advices and opinions more

5 – She doesn’t defend you when necessary

And then there was this comment…

“My wife started to disrespect me in secret back in 2022.  She started lying and twerking on TikTok, commenting on guys’ pictures and videos etc.  

I just found this out this year after a big argument and I made one just to check and I couldn’t believe that I was watching my wife.  

So I made her delete TikTok and I got on her Facebook and almost the same stuff. But when I asked her to delete it, she blocked me and told me I need to act my age. 

And that people onTikTok don’t mean anything.  

I said of course they do if you post this kinda’ content, then liking their comments when honestly they are calling you a 304 and me a fool.”

.

As usual, we have consolidated the answer into 5 tips to help you deal with a disrespectful wife even in the middle of a separation.

Let’s get into it.

Tip Number 5

OLA – Focus on Rebuilding Friendship

Focus on Rebuilding Friendship

This is probably not the time to start buying flowers and begging her to work on the relationship.  I want you to focus on being comfortable with each other even if it  doesn’t involve romance.

The fear that will probably creep through you is this.  “What if she actually moves on?”

The question is moving on to what?  After all, you need a confidence that showcases that you are the best option for her anyway.

Just trust the process and let go of everything you believed about marriage except friendship for now.  

The strength of the friendship you build in this period has no choice but to spread to everything else way better than obsession and attachments could.

It’s always good to wait for the decision maker of the present status to decide to change that decision.  It’s even better when you emotionally attract them to do so.  

Tip Number 4

LOLA – Signs Are Symptoms

People can argue this with me… but when women go on social media to twerk, it’s a sign of insecurity and low self esteem.

She is most likely crazing unhealthy attention and it’s to do so when she doesn’t value what she has at home.

The point is that there are deeper issues at play and what you are seeing as signs are ordinary symptoms.

Guess what happens when you treat symptoms. It will give you a fake sense of relief but it’s coming back.

And when it comes back, the symptoms are going to be worse because the disease never left. It might even be cancerous and spread to other areas that weren’t previously infected.

So don’t focus too much on the symptoms or signs.  A root cause analysis is needed.

Tip Number 3

OLA – You Need Some Space

Let me guess.  I know what you are thinking.

You are thinking that married couples, space and distance don’t go together.  But that’s actually not how attraction works.

One of the signs of low levels of attraction is disrespect and in Nigeria slangs we can also call that “see finish”.

When a relationship is no longer exciting for whatever reasons, it’s easy to find laying around convenient reasons to be disrespectful.

Put it like this.  A woman who is in love with you will find it hard to be disrespectful even if there are good excuses… I’m not sure if there is a good excuse.

Distance makes the heart fonder.  It may be as simple as taking each other for granted for being around too much.

You need space.  If you are not careful, she will be asking you for space very soon.

You Need Some Space

Tip Number 2

LOLA – Say it Once & Let it Go

When you say what you have to say to address a disrespect, make sure you mean it.

A sign that you don’t really mean it or believe it is when you have to repeat yourself.

If a disrespectful wife is not responding to your request after saying it more than 2 times, there is a chance that form of communication is not working.

There is also a chance that there are deeper issues that you will likely not find out because you are busy talking too much.

Your rare ability to let it go after saying what you have to say no more than 2 times demonstrates self confidence, self worth, self respect and more.

Speaking of self respect…

Tip Number 1

OLA – Focus on Self-Respect

As we were preparing for this episode, a further elaboration came through the comment section to one of the earlier comments.

Focus on Self-Respect

And I quote…

“I know she has narcissistic tendencies cause we’ll be fine now… as long as I don’t bring it up… if I do… she say things like may we should be apart if I don’t trust her or threaten not to talk to me if I bring it up

She ignores me basically.  We lost our apartment and when she left, she took the kids and my car.  I just moved back to South Carolina and started working there.

But we haven’t had sex in a month.  She said she is not in the mood because of the situation we are in.

We will be fine for a week or two, then she’ll go run behind people who only wanna talk to her because she’s driving around in a 2021 Charger and kinda’ ignore me.

Then my trust issues come into play and she starts threatening to leave me again or she’ll say something to damage my ego more than it already is.

I got her to take down the other Facebook page and the one she had pictures of me on but she still blocked me because I’d be starting with people on her page because someone liked or commented on her picture or post.

I’m feeling better now though.  I want my wife back… the girl I married 4 years ago and got 4 kids with and been with for 12 years.”

You see.  There is so much going on in that comment that points towards lack of self-respect.  There are just some things that you will never have time for when you have adequate self-respect.

At least, you will be willing to let a disrespectful wife go until she figures out where her priorities lie if she is confused about that.

But I get it.  It’s easier said than done.  

Nonetheless, you have to understand that your wife is only capable of mimicking and matching the level of respect you have for yourself.

We are speaking from experience.  

We share our own story inside the book “GET MY MARRIAGE BACK” which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you’d like us to cover on the next video.

Check this out: Disrespectful Wife Signs: Here’s What’s Really Going On

Broken Marriage?
Fix it Here FREE

Get My Marriage Back