In this lesson, you are about to discover the overlap between feeling like your husband has lost interest in you sexually and the reality.
One of the pieces in the ups and downs of the journey in a marriage is attraction and sexual interest levels.
It is very important to be self aware enough to separate your feelings (which are as valid as they come) and the reality.
So with that being said, let’s discuss 5 signs that may confuse you with feeling like your husband has lost interest in you sexually.
1st Sign – Stress
Your husband may be depressed because of work and money problems may have taken over.
Sometimes when a man is not making headway in his career, he shifts his priorities to work.
Sex can then become a back burner.
This can make you feel inadequate and feel like you are falling short in your duties as a woman.
But maybe his sexual interest level has nothing to do with you.
If his stress has something to do with you, you won’t be able to find out without leaning in and listening emotionally enough to find out.
You can’t listen when you are busy feeling guilty and inadequate about the level of sexual interest from your husband.
Try to approach it in a solution oriented way instead of coming from a finger-pointing stance such as guilt, blame, judgement or condemnation.
Ask for suggestions of how you can help ease off some of the burden that may be stressing him without taking things personally.
So you should do that without emotional attachment to the outcome.
He just may need to feel understood.
2nd Sign that Feels Like Low Sexual Interest – ED (Erectile Dysfunction)
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Erectile dysfunction is something some men deal with as they age.
Just in case you are hearing that term or phrase for the first time, it means that a man cannot sustain the erection of his penis during sexual intercourse.
This condition can make some of them lose interest in sex for obvious reasons.
If your husband feels like he is inadequate for you sexually, it can create a vicious cycle because his confidence level is an important mental state necessary to maintain erection.
So try not to address this in the bedroom.
Instead, go on a date with your spouse and have a heart to heart light conversation about spicing things back up in the bedroom.
That will also create an opportunity for you to suggest seeking the help of a medical professional within the right emotional space.
3rd Sign – Complacency or “See finish” as Nigerians Like to Call it.
It feels like there is lack of connection and no space in your relationship to him or both; someone is feeling smothered.
In fact, you have both become roommates and the energy now feels very awkward.
And before you know it, it’s been 4-5 weeks with no initiations from either party.
Complacency is inevitable in all marriages and the real question is…
Are you prepared for the inevitable?
So since these things have nothing to do with how good of a person you are, don’t take things personally.
But the fact is that you, as an individual, are also partly responsible for where you both are directly or indirectly.
It’s not necessarily a “fault” but more-so a matter of natural occurrence when you, as an adult, consensually choose to get into a relationship with another adult.
So why not take a lead and suggest fun ways to navigate the challenging journey of a highly rewarding and blissful marriage.
Make sure you approach this from the angle of your spouse’s love language.
This will help ease the challenge.
4th Sign that Feels Like Low Sexual Interest – Addiction to Pornography
This is something that may affect your husband mentally and can lower his libido because of unrealistic expectations.
What typical woman do you know who wants to be hanging from the ceiling during sex every night?
Also if your husband can achieve orgasm by himself, there is also a chance that he won’t need you and that can come off as low sexual interest.
This is especially true if you are used to him initiating sex over the course of your marriage especially earlier on.
It’s only natural for you to feel like he is loosing interest sexually in you if he suddenly stops initiating sex.
Pornography (Porn) is a powerful form of entertainment because it offers a counterfeit form of intimacy and attachment.
You may have to get professional help in terms of intensive therapy for both of you where he can get support and an accountability system.
5th Sign – Lack of respect
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The words you say to your husband can make or break him.
If you are in the habit of criticizing him like you are his mother even with good intentions, that may kill his attraction level towards you.
A typical man wants to feel like a hero in his marriage.
Sure respect is earned and I get the likelihood that your husband may have lost the respect due to some circumstances.
But it’s probably time for you to engage your power in your marriage if your choice is to stay in it.
Self awareness is key.
And that’s why it is necessary to identify the possibility of him feeling disrespect from you even if you never meant to.
If this sign hits home for you, now you know the nature of a typical man and that means you can do something about it.
Sow a seed of respect consistently into him and observe if that turns him back on over time.
You are doing it deliberately.
So it can only feel like a fun game with real life rewards over time.
That’s all part of the art of seduction and it’s powerful when you learn how to use it in favor of your marriage and subsequently you.
In your journey of marriage with your husband, you both will individually experience negative and positive moods because you are both humans.
The general dynamic and mood of your experience together will also be a function of all that and more.
So it is important to handle sexual attraction and interest accordingly without taking things personally.
If you feel like sexual attraction is lower than usual or desired, take ownership in building it back up without guilt tripping yourself.
Learn how to seduce your husband into the space where you want him sexually.
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