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My Wife Loves Me But Doesn’t Desire Me 💔

It can be difficult if it seems like your wife loves you but doesn’t desire you, but there are a few things you can do. 

We’ve had a few people send these questions in and maybe you can relate in one shape, form or the other.  Here we go before I share 5 tips to help you through a difficult time in your marriage.

“Wife Has No Romantic Feelings For Me”

My wife and I have been married for several years, but I have come to realize that she has no romantic feelings for me. We still have a good relationship, but it is more of a friendship than a romantic partnership. I feel lonely and rejected, but I am trying to accept the situation and move forward.

“My Wife Hasn’t Slept With Me In Months”

My marriage has been going through a difficult time lately. My wife and I have been growing apart and it has been months since we have shared a bed. This has been an incredibly hard time for both of us, and I am trying my best to make things better.

“My Wife Sees Me As A Friend Not A Lover”

My wife and I have a strong friendship, but it is not a romantic one. She sees me as a companion and confidant, but not as a lover. We have a mutual respect and admiration for one another, but it is not the same kind of connection that is usually associated with a romantic relationship. We are content with our relationship as it is, and we both appreciate the bond we share.

“My Wife Says She Loves Me But Doesn’t Show It”

My wife often tells me that she loves me, but I can’t help but feel like she doesn’t show it. She is often busy with work and other commitments, so it’s hard for her to find the time to express her love. I try to understand, but it’s still difficult for me to feel truly appreciated.

“I Don’t Feel Desired By My Wife”

I feel like my wife doesn’t desire me anymore. I feel like she has lost interest in me and our relationship. I feel neglected and unimportant to her. It’s heartbreaking to feel like I’m not wanted or desired by the person I love the most.

“My Wife Doesn’t Want Me Sexually”

My wife and I have been having a difficult time in our relationship lately. She has expressed that she no longer feels the same way about me sexually, and that she does not want to be intimate with me. This has been a difficult situation for both of us, but I am trying to be understanding and supportive of her feelings. We are working together to try to find a way to reconnect and build a stronger relationship.

Here are the 5 tips…

Tip 1 – Honest & Open Conversation

Start by having an honest and open conversation with your wife and try to understand her perspective.

The best way to start having a meaningful conversation with your wife is to be honest and open within the confinement of emotional intelligence.

Listen to her perspective and try to understand where she is coming from. Ask her questions and be willing to compromise. 

Show her that you care about her feelings and that you are willing to work together to find a resolution. Be patient and understanding, and don’t be afraid to express your own feelings.

Show her that you are willing to put in the effort to make things work. This will help to create an environment of trust and respect, which is essential for any healthy relationship.

Tip 2 – Active Listening

Make sure to actively listen to her and let her express her thoughts and feelings without judgment. 

It is important to make sure that you actively listen to her and let her express her thoughts and feelings without judgment. 

This means that you should be actively engaged in the conversation, focusing on what she is saying and not interrupting her. 

You should also be open to hearing her thoughts and feelings without passing any kind of judgment. 

This is important because it will allow her to feel comfortable expressing herself and will create a safe space for her to do so. 

It is also important to be patient and understanding, as this will help create a positive environment for her to share her thoughts and feelings.

Tip 3 – Self Care

You can also take time to focus on yourself. This has nothing to do with the selfless ingredient necessary for a marriage’s sustainability.

Taking time to focus on yourself is a great way to make sure that you are taking care of your mental and physical health. 

Self-care can include activities such as reading a book, going for a walk, or taking a nap. 

It can also mean taking time to reflect on your thoughts and emotions, or doing something that brings you joy. 

Taking time to focus on yourself can help you to reduce stress, improve your mood, and increase your overall well being. 

It can also help you to gain clarity and perspective on your life and the decisions you make.

Taking time for yourself is an important part of self-care and should be an integral part of your life.

Make sure you’re taking care of yourself and your own needs by engaging in activities that bring you joy and make you feel good. 

Self-care is an important part of maintaining a healthy and balanced lifestyle. 

Taking care of yourself and your own needs is essential for your mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing. 

Engaging in activities that bring you joy and make you feel good is a great way to practice self-care. 

This can include anything from exercising, reading a book, spending time with friends, or simply taking a few moments to relax. 

Taking the time to do something that you enjoy can help to reduce stress and improve your overall mood. 

Practicing self-care is a great way to ensure that you are taking care of yourself and your own needs.

Tip 4 – Affection

Lastly, don’t forget to be affectionate with your wife. 

It is important to remember to be affectionate with your wife. 

Showing your wife affection is a great way to show her that you care and appreciate her. 

This can be done through small gestures such as holding hands, giving hugs, or even just saying “I love you”. 

It is also important to make time for your wife, whether it is going on a date night or just spending quality time together. 

Showing your wife affection is a great way to strengthen your relationship and make her feel special.

Tip 5 – Love & Kindness

Show her love and kindness, and let her know that you appreciate her and are here for her.

Being in a relationship is hard work because it is highly rewarding, but it can also be immensely rewarding.

4 Signs Your Wife Is Not Sexually Attracted To You

There are a few signs that may indicate your wife is not sexually attracted to you. 

  1. She may avoid physical contact, such as cuddling or holding hands. 
  2. She may also not want to engage in any kind of sexual activity or intimacy. 
  3. She may be less interested in spending time with you or may be distant in conversations. 
  4. She may also not be as affectionate or show signs of physical attraction, such as compliments or flirting. 

If these signs are present, it may be a sign that your wife is not sexually attracted to you.

In this rest of the article, you will discover what to do if all signals indicate that the wife you married doesn’t desire you anymore even though she claims she loves you.

It’s perfectly normal for a wife to love her husband, but sometimes not feel sexually attracted to him.

While desire cannot be negotiated, it can absolutely be influenced with some tips we will share in this article.

There could be any number of reasons for this, such as a lack of emotional connection, mismatched libido levels or unresolved anger or resentment.

If you’re in this situation, it’s important to talk to your spouse and figure out what’s causing the disconnect.

You may need to see a therapist to help address the underlying issues; you can start with a family therapist.

Here are some very important lessons that we will cover to give you a full understanding and tactful things you can do to rekindle things:

  1. The Meaning of “Desire” In A Marriage
  2. What is the Difference Between Love and Sexual Desire?
  3. “What Does it Mean When My Wife Loves Me But Doesn’t Desire Me?”
  4. How does this affect a marriage and relationship?
  5. Tips for creating sexual desire in your spouse again
  6. The Role of a Sex Therapist

… and more.

My Wife Never Touches Me Anymore

“She used to be so affectionate, but now she seems distant and removed. I don’t know what I did wrong, but I fear that she may be cheating on me or is no longer interested in me. I don’t know how much longer I can take this.”

This kind of problem always start with a wife losing interest.

Let’s dive right in…

3 Signs That Your Wife Is Losing Interest

It can be difficult to tell if your wife is losing interest in you.

However, there are 4 of many other signs you can look out for.

  • Sign #3 – One common sign is if your wife starts to avoid sexual intimacy.
  • Sign #2 – If she stops taking care of herself physically or stops dressing up for you, this can also be a sign that she’s losing interest.
  • Sign #1 – Another sign is if she becomes critical or negative towards you.

If your wife shows any of these signs, it might be time to talk to her about your concerns and see if there’s anything wrong.

The Meaning of “Desire” In A Marriage

When we think of the word “desire,” we often think of our sex life in a marriage and sexual desire.

However, desire is much more than that.

Desire is a yearning or craving for something, someone or the presence of someone.

It can be a strong feeling or emotion that motivates us to take further desired action of course.

In a marriage, it is important for both spouses to feel desired by the other.

This can be accomplished in many ways, such as through words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch.

When both spouses feel desired, it builds intimacy and strengthens the bond between them.

Sexual desire is an important part of a marriage, but it is not the only type of desire that matters.

Spouses should strive to meet each other’s non-sexual desires as well, in order to create a fulfilling and lasting relationship.

That alone can help in boosting and/or sustaining sexual desires in the marriage.

What is the Difference Between Love and Sexual Desire?

When we think of love, we often think of feelings of warmth, happiness and affection.

Love is a deep, emotional connection that spouses have with each other.

It is a feeling of being drawn to someone, of wanting to be close to them and wanting to make them happy.

In marriage, however, love is not just a feeling of lust or passion.

It is much more than that because a long term relationship between 2 different human beings is involved.

Love is Action, Patient, Kind and Fifty Million Others Things.

Sexual desire, on the other hand, is a physical attraction that spouses feel for each other.

It is the desire to be intimate with someone, to touch them and to be touched by them.

Sexual desire can often be confused with love, but they are two separate things.

Sexual desire was traditionally not necessary in a marriage, but love was as a function of duty and responsibility.

However, things have changed and it will hurt your marriage if you dare attempt to discount the importance of feelings in modern day marriage.

There Is A Strong Relationship Between A Couple’s Sex Life, Love And Sexual Desire. 

A couple’s sex life is often seen as the foundation of a healthy relationship, and is usually one of the first things to disappear when a relationship starts to deteriorate.

Love is often thought of as the emotional connection that couples share, and is what keeps them together over time.

Sexual desire, on the other hand, is what motivates people to have sex and is often seen as a physical manifestation of love.

“What Does it Mean When My Wife Loves Me But Doesn’t Desire Me?”

When a wife loves her husband but does not desire him, it can be a sign that there is something wrong in the underlying relationship.

It may be that the wife is no longer attracted to her husband, or that she is unhappy with the way things are going in the relationship.

If this is the case, then it is important for the husband to talk to his wife and find out what is wrong.

He should express his love for her and try to find a way to fix whatever is causing the problem.

By the way, she might not be able to explain this in words.

How Does Your Intimacy Affect a Marriage Relationship?

Your sex life is an important part of intimacy in your marriage and the underlying relationship.

It helps to keep the spark alive and allows couples to feel close to each other.

When there is not healthy level of intimacy (which is deeper than sex), everything else starts to feel wrong.

Your Sex Life Can Take Many Different Forms, Such As Talking And Touching.

If one partner feels that they are not being desired by the other, it can be a blow to their self-esteem.

It can make them feel like they are not good enough and that they are not wanted.

This can lead to a lot of emotional pain and conflict and even emotional and full blown infidelity.

There are many ways to improve your sex life in a marriage relationship.

Couples can talk about their needs and desires, spend time together, touch each other more often, and be open and honest with each other.

But that’s usually not enough because it would most likely take one person to lead the dance.

If you are struggling with this issue, please seek help from a therapist, coach or counselor.

They can assist you in working through these feelings and improving your relationship.

6 Tips for Creating A Fulfilling Sex Life With Your Spouse Again

There are many ways to rekindle your sex life in your relationship with your spouse.

Here are a few tips:

1. Talk openly and honestly about your feelings and desires but with respect to your partner’s feelings.

2. Make time for each other and carve out special moments just for the two of you.

3. Be affectionate and touch each other often.

4. Experiment and be playful in the bedroom.

5. Communicate during sex and let your partner know what you enjoy.

6. Connect emotionally as well as physically.

The Role of a Sex Therapist

A sex therapist’s role is to help couples or individuals overcome issues that are preventing them from enjoying a healthy and fulfilling sex life.

They can help with a range of issues, such as low libido, performance anxiety, erectile dysfunction, and more.

Sex therapists typically use a mix of therapies, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), couples therapy, and psycho-education.

How A Sex Therapist Uses CBT

A sex therapist uses cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) which can be a great help for couples in this situation.

He or she can help the couple understand why the wife loves her husband but does not desire him.

They can also work to help the couple rebuild their intimacy and connection.

Every other advice would probably unintentionally position you to start feeling like your wife is weaponizing sex.

How can she weaponize sex if she doesn’t hate sex with you?

That’s The Easy Route Of Thought; Try Harder.

A sex therapist would help you do the hard work by digging deeper into the reasons behind the scenes and behind the obvious.

You can even take it further.

You will learn seduction skills from a sex therapist that will help you influence high level of desire, interest and attraction.

Check out American Association of Sexuality Educators, counselors and therapists to see if you can find an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist.

An AASECT Certified Sex Therapist is trained to provide in-depth psychotherapy and they are specialized in treating clients with sexual issues and concerns.

What To Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Want To Be Intimate

When your partner doesn’t want to be intimate, it can be a difficult and confusing experience.

You may feel like you’re not good enough or that you’re not attractive in your relationship anymore.

Here Are 5 Things You Can Do To Improve Intimacy:

1. Talk to your partner about why they don’t want to be intimate and try to understand their point of view.

2. Don’t take it personally (this is easier said than done) – remember that this has nothing to do with how much they love you.

3. Don’t pressure your partner into being intimate if they’re not comfortable doing so because desire cannot be negotiated; it can however be influenced if you have the skills.

4. Seek out support from friends or family members who can offer words of encouragement to you if need it; don’t count on them being able to correct your spouse into order.

5. Seek professional help if the situation is causing you significant distress.

Remember that you’re not alone and there are ways to deal with this situation.

Don’t hesitate to reach out for help if you need it.

“Can I Divorce My Wife For Not Sleeping With Me?”

Of course you can divorce your spouse these days for the dumbest reasons.

All you have to do is to claim “irreconcilable differences.”

But of course, I don’t just advice you to just run for the hills at the slightest sight of a slow down in intimacy.

While it may be frustrating if your wife doesn’t want to have sex with you, it’s important to remember that there are many reasons why someone may not be interested in sex.

It Could Be Due To Stress, Fatigue, or Health Issues.

If your wife is unwilling to discuss the issue, then you may want to consult with a therapist to help you understand why she is not interested in sex and work on ways to improve intimacy.

There are many bitter people on the internet that will advice you to just go ahead and kick her to the curb.

You and I know that if it was that easy, you would have done it already.

Don’t compare yourself to people who are so weak to the extent that they never had enough vested interest in a marriage they created in the first place.

Identify if you really want that marriage from a personal standpoint and then move intentionally and accordingly; with the help of good counsel and not random people on the internet.

How Health Issues Can Result in Lack of Physical Intimacy

Many couples struggle with physical intimacy at some point in their relationship.

This can be due to a variety of factors, such as fatigue, stress, or health issues.

When one partner is dealing with health issues leading to a lack of physical intimacy, it might not be as obvious.

Physical intimacy is an important part of a marriage, and when it’s lacking, it can be difficult for both partners.

There are issues that may be hormonal or psychological remnants of health crisis.

Start with a conversation as usual and a healthy does of empathy and that alone can instigate her wanting sex.

“I Just Want My Wife To Want Me But I’ve Heard Many Wives Like Her Hate Sex Eventually.”

Sexual pleasure is an important part of any relationship, and it’s no different for couples in which the wife loves her husband but doesn’t desire him.

This is a temporary issue normally and you next move can make it permanent or temporary; tread carefully.

Even though they’re not physically attracted to each other, these couples can still enjoy a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship if they’re willing to put in the effort.

For men in this situation, it’s important to understand that sexual pleasure isn’t all about the physical act of sex.

Sexual pleasure actually starts long before the act of sex.

There is a lot more going on even though you may feel as though she hates sex; it’s highly unlikely.

One of the key things when you are going through this is to make sure you are prepared for the opportunity to be intimate when it presents itself again.

When that time comes…

Here Are Additional 5 Tips To Be More Sexually Intimate With Your Wife

Tip #5 – First, try to be more present when you’re together.

Tip #4 – Pay attention to her body and her reactions when you’re touching her.

Tip #3 – Second, experiment with different types of touch. Try mixing up your routine to keep things fresh; don’t be predictable.

Tip #2 – Third, communicate with your wife about what she enjoys.

Let her know what turns you on, and ask her about her fantasies.

Tip #1 – Lastly, make time for sex.

Dedicate time specifically for intimacy, and make sure that both of you are available for it.

Here is a quick question for you to ponder.

How do you feel about entertaining sex toys in your sex life?

Your answer can make or break your sex life and intimacy; Hint: No answer is right and wrong.

Why Does My Wife Hate Initiating Sex?

There could be many reasons why your wife hates initiating sex.

It could be that she’s not attracted to you, she’s not in the mood, or she’s not feeling well.

If your wife doesn’t initiate sex very often, it might be because she’s not comfortable doing so.

Heck: It can be completely a traditional or cultural issue

Talk to her about how you feel and see if she has any concerns or suggestions.

This is one of those situations where you may want to identify the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship and both of you as individuals.

What I want you to do is to shed more energy and light on the strengths and avoid trying to force the weaknesses with respect to the result that you want.

I would hope that your desired result is simply more sex; more passionate sex.

“My Wife Makes Excuses To Refuse Sex.”

“My wife loves me and always tells me how much she cares for me, but she doesn’t desire me sexually. She makes excuses not to sleep with me, and it’s really starting to take a toll on our relationship. I’m not sure what to do, as I still want to be intimate with her.”

Most Women In Marriage React To Unhappiness In One Or More Ways: 

Outside of health issues, she might not feel satisfied with her marriage due to the amount of time spent away from her spouse.

The most recent findings suggest that up to 50 percent of couples who have been married 10 years are dissatisfied with their marriage because they report feeling frustrated and unfulfilled.

This is a rather strong reason why most women in marriage do not want sex – it’s as if they’re trying to protect themselves from being hurt again by refusing sex.

To a large extent, this can be subconscious.

Most women refuse sex because they are afraid of getting too close, only for them to continue to feel unhappy in the marriage down the road anyway.

It’s like “why bother?”

The First Step Is Always To Talk To Your Spouse About The Issue.

If that doesn’t work, you may want to engage your seduction power as a woman; that starts with self-assessment.

  • What turned him on to you in the first place?
  • What turns him on to you right now?
  • What turns you on?

Once you find out the answer to all 3 of these questions, then you will find everything else useful in rekindling things.

How To Deal With A Sexless Marriage As A Woman

Dealing with a sexless marriage as a woman can be difficult, but there are ways to cope.

First, it’s important to understand that there is no shame in having a sexless marriage.

It’s not your fault, and you’re not alone.

There are many couples who experience this problem and therefore there are many solutions and options.

In Conclusion

It’s normal for most women to lose interest in their husbands after some time and over time.

This doesn’t mean that the love is gone, just the desire may be absent.

There are many things you can do to help boost your wife’s desire and attraction towards you again.

By leveraging some of the simple tips we’ve covered, you can rekindle the flame and have a more fulfilling marriage.

Here is a last bonus tip for you.

If you are always engaged in arguments that you may have considered a harmless debate, that can sure create lower interest and desire from your spouse; It can get weird from time to time.

What a confusion right?

Are women crazy? 

How do you love a husband you don’t desire?

I was on the receiving end of those resentments she mentioned earlier and it was not fun as you can probably imagine.

We got married and I flipped my legs on the table and just relaxed like most new husbands.

After all, we are now committed to each other for life. 

PREVIOUS POST: 💔 5 Reasons Your Wife is NOT Affectionate Anymore

What else is there to worry about? So I thought or acted at least.

It’s called complacency and we all do it in one shape, form or the other.  

The truth is that I truly loved my wife and my family even back then but that didn’t stop me from being complacent.

Here is the first thing you should know.

On the other end of being complacent is a person you love who may be feeling undesired by you even if you don’t mean to.

And you know what they say about hurt-people. They hurt people right?

That’s right. But I didn’t plan out how I was going to hurt you back.

It was more-so about two people who entered a whole marriage to wing things along.

I know what you are thinking.

Why didn’t we vet properly and go through premarital counseling?

Not only did we engage in some premarital counseling,

we actually dated and were in a committed relationship for 3 years before we went to the altar.  

Here is what we know today after reviewing, consulting and coaching many people in modern marriages .

People that say “I do” don’t know what they are doing because they couldn’t possibly know.

When you haven’t experienced marriage,

you are in a completely different context and it is what it is.

So when I complained about a few things a few times only to get undesirable responses from my husband,

I continued to feel more unsafe to express myself.

The resentments started to build up naturally.

It is in fact true that unexpressed expectations turn to resentments.

It is paramount that you give your partner freedom to express their expectations and the key is to not take those expectations personally.

TRENDING: 5 Stages that Leads to a Sexless Marriage 💔

After our relationship deteriorated so badly, I was still pretty much oblivious.  

To me it wasn’t that difficult.  I just want my wife to want me and it was weird to me that she didn’t get it.

Before I knew it, I started creating room in my life for the idea of entertaining attention that was being deprived on the sidelines.

We never stopped proclaiming our love for each other verbally but I didn’t feel it. 

As a man, I simply normalized it because I grew up with Uncles who had and exercised options when it comes to women; married or not.

Like most men…

*I thought about sexual attraction.

*I wondered why you avoided intimacy and I couldn’t touch you anymore.

*I resented the audacity of committing and not showing up to our marriage.

So of course over time, the disconnection reflected occasionally in my energy and at one point, my wife verbally gave up on us.

The Main Lesson

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

That rock bottom helped me discover the secret. 

A certain type of love required for all marriages is a choice.

However, desire, affection, and attraction are symptoms of a certain consistent way of showing up in your marriage as a man.

A typical wife has a lot on her plate and simply doesn’t get to decide if they want to desire you or not.

Think about it.

In the beginning of your love affair, your wife desired you without knowing enough about you.

Though it wasn’t controlled, it was an attraction.

So we can agree that desire in a marriage is not some logical decision.

At least, that’s not reality.

But it can absolutely be reverse-engineered especially with the history of desire that used to exist between the two of you. 

We know it can happen again but it’s easier said than done.

With proper support it’s absolutely possible because we are a testimony.

But you will have to engage your power and it’s impossible when you are playing the victim.

“Is My Wife Attracted To Me” Quiz

Taking a ‘is my wife attracted to me’ quiz can be a great way to gauge the level of attraction between you and your wife. 

It can help you to identify areas of your relationship that could use some work, or it can help you to recognize the positive aspects of your relationship. 

The quiz typically consists of questions about your relationship, such as how often you and your wife spend time together, how often you show affection, and how often you communicate.

Additionally, it may also include questions about how you and your wife interact with each other in public, how often you have disagreements, and how often you share intimate moments.

Answering these questions honestly can help you to gain a better understanding of your relationship and whether or not your wife is still attracted to you.

We will be creating a quiz soon.  Look out for it.

Frequently Asked Question

Why does my wife have no desire for me?

There are a variety of potential reasons why a wife may have no desire for her husband. It could be due to a lack of communication, a lack of emotional connection, or a lack of physical intimacy. It could also be due to a change in circumstances, such as a job loss, a move, or a health issue. It could also be due to unresolved issues from the past, such as unresolved arguments, hurt feelings, or unresolved trauma. It is important to take the time to talk to your wife and try to understand the root cause of her lack of desire in order to find a solution that works for both of you.

What to do when my wife doesn’t want me sexually?

When your wife doesn’t want you sexually, it can be difficult to handle and can create a lot of tension in the relationship. It is important to talk to your wife about her feelings and try to understand why she is not interested in being intimate. It is also important to remember that there could be many factors at play, such as stress, fatigue, or even medical issues. It is important to be understanding and patient with your wife, and to try to work together to find a solution that works for both of you. If the issue persists, it may be beneficial to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor to help you both work through the issue.

Why do I feel like my wife doesn’t want me sexually?

I feel like my wife doesn’t want me sexually for a variety of reasons. We may not be communicating our needs and desires effectively, or we may have drifted apart over time. It could also be that she is feeling overwhelmed with other aspects of life, such as work, family, or other commitments. It could be that she is dealing with her own issues that she hasn’t been able to share with me. Whatever the reason, it is important to talk to my wife and try to understand what is going on and how we can work together to improve our relationship.

Can a marriage survive without desire?

A marriage without desire can be a difficult situation to navigate. While it is possible for a marriage to survive without desire, it is often an uphill battle. Without the passion that comes with desire, couples may find that they are unable to connect on an emotional level, leading to a lack of communication and understanding. This can cause resentment and distance between the two partners, making it difficult to sustain the marriage. In order to make a marriage work without desire, couples must be willing to put in the effort to build a strong foundation of trust, respect, and communication. This can be difficult, but it is possible for a marriage to survive without desire if both partners are willing to put in the work.

5 Reasons Why Your Wife Is Not Interested In You Sexually 💔

In this lesson, we are about to dive in through the story of a 28 years old guy

who is married to a 33 years old with a brand new baby and the blue balls syndrome.

Let’s call him Felix.

He writes…

“My wife and I have been together for about 6 years, married for 2 and we have an almost 1 year old child. 

My wife has had a reasonably exciting sexual past, and one thing that really stood out to me…

when we first started dating was how in control and proud of her sexuality she was. 

She was always full of confidence, dressed to impress and was unapologetic about going after anything she wanted, whether that was sexually or just for fun.”

Before I continue into this story, let me introduce myself.

My name is LOLA and I am the co-author of the book

GET MY MARRIAGE BACK 

…with my husband OLA

…which you can download for free at:

www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

You will also see an opportunity to book a free 30 minutes coaching session with us. 

My name is OLA.

So Felix continues to write…

“Due to our work, we sometimes spend significant periods of time apart. 

But the time apart was filled with dirty messages, photos and videos, and exploring fantasies, toys, lingerie and bondage ideas. 

I would send her over sex toys to use and she would send videos back (she couldn’t buy toys where she was). 

After a while (about 3 years ago), it didn’t just drop off, it stopped completely.”

So here goes the first reason…

Reason #5 – All Good Things Comes To An End

PREVIOUS POST: When to Give Up On Separation 💔 Average Length & Rebuilding Attraction

I know that may sound scary and discouraging when it comes to the prospect of marriage for young men.

But what are we referring to as the “thing” here?  That will be greatly dependent on how much of a man you are.

I want to assure you that it is a good thing when you are aware that good sexual explosive phases as a thing do come to end.

It’s how we are able to separate a good phase from a bad phase so that we can appreciate either of the phases better.

And do everything within our power to consistently seduce our wives.

You have a choice to decide if this particular good sexual explosive phase is coming to an end permanently or temporarily.

Let’s continue to read…

He continues…

“We married almost 2 years ago, and the only decent period of somewhat routine sex since then was when we were trying to have a child. 

Suddenly I was the bad guy when I wasn’t available on a particular evening because that’s when we were most likely to conceive,

completely ignoring the 12 months prior of me desperately trying to initiate some kind of intimacy. 

Priorities and our lives in general have changed a great deal since then, with our beautiful baby now the centre of our lives.

However, I’ve felt more and more like I’m just a passenger along for this ride with my wife and kid.”

Reason #4 – Playing Victim vs Engaging Power

Keep in mind as always that this is not a “right or wrong” thing.  

It is not a joke but it is a game where you have to learn that playing the victim and retaining your power cannot co-exist.

You have your lady who is also nurturing your own brand new baby, and somehow you are a victim?

It’s not sounding right… right?

Your wife can feel that energy and it will only turn her off even more without her deliberately doing that.

I want you to become self aware and clear about that while responding to this crisis. 

Let’s continue to read…

He continues…

“We haven’t had sex properly in over 18 months.

My wife occasionally makes snide remarks at me, when after periods of trying to initiate some kind of intimacy,

I give up and stay up later to have some ‘time to myself.’ 

She makes me feel like a creep in my own house and I just feel like shit, and my anxiety starts to tick up.”

Reason #3 – Giving Up

TRENDING: 5 Signs Your wife is NOT Attracted to You ❤️

By your own words, you give up while attempting to initiate sex.

You can at least agree that there is nothing sexy about giving up and more especially the vibes and energy that accompanies that right?

Instead of giving up and continuing to play the victim,

I want you to leverage this moment of your life and marriage to engage your personal life mission and purpose first.

This may be something about your ambitions, career or some charity work that makes you feel fulfilled as a person.

It will leave you little to no room to keep feeling sorry for yourself while you are simultaneously giving your relationship some breathing room.

Now I want you to keep initiating sex but by practicing 3 steps forward and 2 steps backward.  

There is nothing sexier than a man whose wife feels safe enough to say “not today babe” while still trusting that he will be confident enough to initiate at some point.

That will even leave her some sense of obligation at the back of her mind and she may initiate before the next time you initiate.

If she doesn’t, you’ve decided to make that a non-big deal (engaging and retaining your masculine core and power) and try later.

She will naturally overcompensate for your patience later in the form of hot sex when she is ready to receive you back to back.

In this next lesson, I will reveal how this works in detail…

So be sure to like and subscribe for your best chances of getting notified when that video goes live.

Let’s continue to read…

He continues…

“We’ve tried to slowly reinitiate things, particularly when I’m away for work. 

We’ve tried to send a few exciting spontaneous messages here and there. 

We’ve started using an app where you essentially ‘match’ fetishes or sexual ideas with your partner

(i.e. only notified if they like the same thing as you, it’s pretty cool.) 

At one point, she even bought a new toy while I was away,

and kind of awkwardly apologized that it was a toy just for her and wouldn’t really be all that fun to use together. 

I was stoked and said she never needs to apologise for that! I thought this might’ve been the catalyst we needed. 

Fast forward the entire 2 months we were apart, and she hadn’t used it once.“

Reason #2 – “We” Don’t Seduce

There is so much “we” this and “we” that and it leaves me to wonder,

who is the seducer in this equation if what you want is more sex?

If you compete in feminine energy with your lady, it kills sexual polarity.  

What you are suffering from is partly low libido due to childbirth causing lower attraction in your marriage which is temporary.

This is not abnormal; we’ve been through the same thing.

It’s a process to get out of the limbo but it can be a faster process when you engage your seduction power which starts way before the bedroom.

Seduce more, initiate less and watch better sex come back into your marriage.

Let’s continue to read…

He continues…

“Occasionally we eventually have a really difficult but healthy conversation about our sex life,

and we walk away feeling great for it…but nothing really changes.

For the past 12 months or so, we go through a bit of a regular cycle. 

I try to initiate things at a pretty low level to rekindle a bit of excitement. 

It gets shot down over a period of 2-3 weeks, and my anxiety slowly escalates. 

I ruminate on the past fortnight, and the past 2 years and get frustrated. 

My mood dives, my wife asks what’s wrong, we have a bit of a chat (about all the same old things),

have a bit of intimacy (although, not sex) 

And I feel like she walks away relieved that she’s hit “reset”

and can now hopefully go another 2 or 3 weeks without needing to be intimate with me. 

Reason #1 – You Talk Her Out Of Wanting Sex

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

As you’ve probably realized, the more you talk about this, the less sex you are having.

By now, you are just predictable; the mood patterns and swings are probably predictable AF.

Talking so much in the name of conversations in an attempt to increase intimacy is feminine energy.

When she’s asking you what’s wrong, she wasn’t faking it. 

It’s a way for her to protect your household when it seems like you are falling apart as the masculine core in the relationship.

While that’s very nice of her, it’s killing sexual polarity even further.

So that’s not where you want your lady. 

You want her to be able to count on you even in the midst of this crisis

and that’s part of the process of seducing her back into crazy intimate sessions.

Rejection breeds obsession so you are not abnormal but this is how to rise above the norm

as opposed to using blame, guilt, condemnation and judgment to make matters worse.

To learn even more about rebuilding sexual attraction back into your marriage, check out the featured video on the screen.

My Wife Is Never In The Mood Anymore 💔

In this lesson, you will discover 5 things to do if your wife is just never in the mood for intimacy and sex anymore.

The other day, we got this in the email at [email protected] from Jerry.

He said…

“My wife did the ‘I’m not in the mood’ for weeks at a time.  

One day I got tired of it.  

When she asked me to empty the kitchen trash can, (one of my duties normally) I told her…

‘Ya know, I would but I’m just not in the mood.’

Then she said…

That’s silly.  You don’t have to be in the mood in order to take out the garbage.

I responded ‘Yep, and YOU don’t have to be in the mood in order to have sex.

Worked like a charm.”

So as usual, we’ve decided to turn this to a lesson moment for all of us.

My name is LOLA and I am the co-author of the book

GET MY MARRIAGE BACK with my husband OLA

…which you can download for free at

 www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

You will also see an opportunity to book a coaching session with us.

This is OLA.

We review so many of these types of cases and we can bet $100,000 on it that Jerry is a half-truth-teller with that part of the method working like a charm.

These are the 5 things to do immediately before you lose your wife to another man out there.

Thing #5 – Mood is a Symptom

PREVIOUS POST: My Wife Loves Me But Doesn’t Desire Me 💔

The easiest route to go if your wife has not been in the sexiest mood for weeks in a row is to become a victim.

But there is a problem with that.

Playing the victim and retaining power simply don’t go together.

If you don’t want to be the leader in the marriage, it’s absolutely okay to play the victim and throw temper tantrums.

The hardest route is the most rewarding route that will allow you to exit the blueballism zone.

So the first thing you need to do is to realize that her mood is a symptom.

Instead of becoming a small two years old boy like Jerry, I want you to become excited about finding the underlying condition that created the “no mood” symptom

You will be shocked at how easy it is to resolve it.

Not only will you resolve it, you will now possess the key to do it over and over for the rest of your life; highly rewarding.

Thing #4 – She is Wrong But…

I want you to reject that approach because it is going to work against your marriage.

Rights and wrongs are irrelevant in romantic relationships because…

In love and war all is fair.

Think about it.

You have two adults coming together against all odds into a 99.9% chance of hurting each other; though sometimes unintentionally.

If you weren’t married, a trashcan could be sitting there for hours, after it is needed to be disposed-of because you waited for the right mood.

So she was wrong. 

But here is the “but”.  That’s irrelevant.

You are married to your wife as a choice.

So that makes you guilty of the same exact thing you are complaining about if we were to go the “who is wrong” route.

Is she being unfair? 

We can argue that but if your focus is how wrong she is, it’s only natural for you to hold resentment against her.

As you are now realizing, no good is going to come out of that approach.  

So does that make Jerry right?

Thing #3 – You Are Right But…

TRENDING: 5 Signs Your Husband Repulses You Sexually & What To Do

But your partner is also right.

At least they have the right to claim that they are right so this is just another toxic argument.

Everything you just learned about “being wrong” as an approach to judging your partner is also applicable to “being right.”

But this is not a race to be right.

This is about your marriage and your wife not being in the mood to make love to you.

Actually, it’s more-so about your inability to get your wife in the mood.

I know it comes off as unfair to expect you to make all the effort in bed but that’s not what I am talking about and remember that all is fair.

What could make a wife come to a husband she wants to make love to and claim “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.”

Does she really want it or not? 

Instead of worrying about your wife not being in the mood, I want you to figure out what happened behind the scenes psychologically without expecting her to be able to tell you.

In the next lesson, you will discover how to reverse “I don’t love you” or “I’m not in love with you anymore” without being a douchebag like Jerry.

For now, here is what I want you to do. 

Stop trying to compete to be “right.”

That’s precisely how to be a loser as a husband.

Don’t get defensive. These things play out very subtly and it doesn’t make you a bad person.

So now that we’ve figured out that this isn’t about “right and wrongs” or “black and white”, what else can Jerry do to get his wife in the mood?

Thing #2 – Seed Nurture Harvest

This is a concept used in agriculture that is absolutely applicable in all romantic relationships; especially in a marriage.

Within the first two years of marriage, everything is exciting and new. That’s easy.

When your wife starts to tell you she is not in the mood, you have two choices.

You can take it as an opportunity to engage in highly rewarding work or suck on your thumbs around the house like Jerry.

I want you to go with the first choice.

Find out how you can make her life easy, and turn it into seeds to nurture. The nurturing has to be consistent and you have to be patient.

Your wife’s mood is not some machine to switch on and off at will.  

You have to be patient and that patience will be tested as well.  Your consistency becomes practice and it gets easier if you are patient.

Thing #1 – Give Her Time

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

Most women will multiply a sense of safety and security back into you as sex and unlimited nurturing.

If she feels heard, you can penetrate everything.

Making sure she feels heard is a whole skill set beyond just listening as a one time event.

Like we’ve said, this is very hard but highly rewarding once you get into the cruise zone.

Give her time to capture your effort and spend that time on self development and improvement.

The Main Lesson

You reap what you sow.  It doesn’t make it your fault but it does give you leverage to turn things around.

But I agree that it will take humility and a longer term outlook than you are used to.

Check out this video on the screen for more information about that.

5 Signs Your Wife Never Really Loved You

In this lesson, we will be sharing 5 signs your wife never really loved you. 

If you are here right now, it means you are either in doubt or have reached a stumbling wall in your marriage. 

Marriages are often sweet in the beginning… in the in-love moment right?

But once the excitement and fun is over, most people start to feel like they are in a nightmare.

Ever heard of “marriage is not a bed of roses”

What that simply means is there will be highs and lows in your marriage. 

If you meet anyone in life who tells you their marriage is always rosy, they must be perfect and full of shit.

As we all know, no such human exists in this world.

With all that being said, if all you have experienced in your marriage is judgement, abuse and condemnation, here are 5 signs your wife really never loved you.

My name is LOLA and I am the co-author of the book 

GET MY MARRIAGE BACK with my husband OLA

…which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

Alright this is OLA… 

1st Sign – She Does Not Respect You

Ever heard of a quote that says… 

“When a woman doesn’t respect you, she can’t love you?”

She cannot love at least in the moment in time.

So in recent times, you’ve noticed a few things that come off as disrespectful.

You noticed that your wife puts you down in front of her friends and family and you happen to always be the butt of her jokes.

In fact, she talks about you in a way that almost seems like you disgust her. 

Also, she never lets you get out a thought before she shuts you up and down. 

She just seems like she can’t be bothered by you while she actively complains about everything you do and chastises your every move.

When in argument (which you should be actively avoiding), she is quick to attempt to or put her hands on you. 

I feel your pain; it must hurt.

If this has happened since the beginning, she probably never loved you; but that’s only if it’s been that way from the beginning.

For the most part, it’s never like that from the beginning.  

Something happened at some point and it’s in the best interest of your marriage to find out when because she probably is just not in love with you at the moment.

What’s the next sign?

2nd Sign That She Was Never in Love – Indifference

PREVIOUS POST: Latoya Forever’s 10 Implicit Lessons from the Divorce

Indifference in marriages leads to nowhere but the death of a marriage. 

Marriage requires constant care and effort physically and emotionally. 

If your wife is not interested in what you are doing and she never cares about what you are up to, that’s her being indifferent. 

She doesn’t even acknowledge your presence. 

You can be chatting with the most beautiful woman in the world and she doesn’t care what you say about her.

I know what you are thinking.

“What if she is just being confident and not the jealous type?”

Well I’m sorry to burst your bubble, you are confused because obviously you are here to find some answers right?

Most women are naturally territorial and will protect their marriages if anything feels like encroachment on that territory. 

They are not necessarily trying to own their spouses.  But it’s only natural when a wife is  committed to a marriage enough to want to protect it. 

Studies say most people are not able to come back once indifference sets in. 

If she has always been indifferent, there is a good chance she was never in love with you.

What’s the next sign?

3rd Sign – She Avoids Sex

Sex is an important part of marriage and if its lacking, it makes people cranky. 

There are so many reasons that people end up in sexless marriages such as loss of connection, lack of communication, infidelity, trust issues, low libido and health issues.

Now with all that being said, you feel your situation is different. 

Infact she doesn’t pressure you for sex except when she want to have babies. 

You are probably in deep shit.

When a woman pushes you away when you try to touch her or seems disgusted at the sight of your nakedness, I can respect your concerns.

The worst part for most people experiencing this is when she makes weird excuses like 

“I’m fasting” 

…and she seems to always be on her period.

  • Won’t let you kiss or hold her. 
  • Complains about your hygiene all the time after much effort to clean up. 
  • She visibly stays as far away as possible from you all the time. 

If she has always been this way, she probably was never in love with you.

You see… 

A woman who loves and is in love with her husband will help him in so many ways even when he is falling short. 

She will do her best sexually to let you know she cares for you because it becomes part of how she feels validated. 

Also she will share her thoughts and concerns if something seems inadequate in your intimacy.  

Even if she finds it awkward to say verbally, she will show signs like buying you colognes, body wash, mouthwash, and floss if necessary. 

Your wife who was in love, if ever, would suggest that you both go for regular visits to the gym, dentist and doctor if it comes down to it. 

She would also do all these in a loving way and if you are not oblivious, you will get it. 

My point is that she won’t avoid sex with you if she is in love with you. 

Let’s move on to the next sign…

4th Sign – She Doesn’t Want To Be Seen With You In Public

TRENDING: “My Wife DOESN’T Say I LOVE YOU Back”

Before you start giving excuses that she is an introvert and is too busy with work, can I pause you for a minute? 

Most women love to show off their men,It’s a thing of pride. 

If she is ashamed of being in your presence in public, it’s a red flag. 

So many marriages have broken down to the point where the wife would rather not invite the husband to any outing she goes to. 

When you ask her if you can come, she gets mad and leaves anyway,  

In fact, she is parading herself like a single woman.

What’s the next sign babe?

5th Sign – Future Plans Not Including You

One thing that is common in healthy marriages is that you keep planning on your future together. 

You plan vacations, retirement plans, financial plans and so on together… That’s the expectation of healthy marriages.

A wife who makes major decisions even about the kids without the husband is not only fantasizing about a future without him, she may have already left… spiritually.

As a young girl growing up in a third world country, I heard stories of women who would build a house and not tell their husbands about it. 

I found this to be very strange and I asked my mom why would people keep such secrets from people they claim to love. 

She told me it comes from lack of trust or betrayal from their partners. 

Even though I understood her point, I always thought it was unhealthy to keep such secrets because that is also considered cheating.

If that’s a sign you have experienced, she is not in love with you.

Conclusion & The Main Lesson

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

There are probably many more signs we could share with you that would indicate that your wife was never in love with you.

But they all have this one thing in common.

The sign was always noticeable from the beginning of your relationship or your marriage and you are just getting fed up with them now.

Whatever the signs may be… 

If it wasn’t always there, your wife is just not in love at this moment and there is a chance and hope of restoration if you are willing to do the work.

If she outrightly tells you “I was never in love”, have some self respect and start believing her to open yourself up for a better chance at life of bliss and love.

Inside the book GET MY MARRIAGE BACK, we tell our story and how we were able to come back from a filed divorce.

Download it for free at:

www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

You will also see an opportunity to book a coaching session with us.

5 Stages that Leads to a Sexless Marriage 💔

So what is a sexless marriage?

A sexless marriage is a marriage where sexual intimacy has dried up for 3 months or longer.

You should wait till 3 months to find this out.

Anything after a week should initiate a loving conversation and not an argument.

Let’s get into the stages and signs…

What is a sexless marriage and what are the signs and stages?

(1) She doesn’t love you anymore will lead to a sexless marriage

If your spouse is starting to tell you that he or she doesn’t love you anymore, it’s not bad…
But it’s not as bad as it feels.

You should acknowledge the feeling without overreacting to confirm that he or she is right.

That reaction alone can stop the painful direction of your marriage.

(2) If you are confused (especially as a man), in time you will increase the chances of a sexless marriage.

If you are confused about the direction of your marriage or relationships, that’s okay.

That’s just how you feel right now.

If you know anything about feelings, you know that they are temporary.

However, feeling sustained confusion is a feminine energy but men can feel it as well.

But when a man continues to express sustained confusion in words, a woman will start to feel less and less attraction for him.

That dynamic will move more in the direction of a sexless marriage as he also won’t be sure of when to make a move and seduce.

Not being sure of yourself is another feminine energy.

Anytime I say “men”, you can use that interchangeably with the dominant partner in the relationship.

(3) The fear or threat of divorce will create a sexless marriage.

In fact, you will attract what you fear the most when you either threaten your spouse with divorce or your fear it.

What you focus on will expand; either negative or positive.

Your intentional and unintentional actions have a way of aligning with what you focus emotional energy on.

(4) She doesn’t want PDA

If your spouse suddenly stops wanting public display of affection (PDA) from you,

You are probably moving in that direction of a sexless marriage if not there already.

So suddenly, she stops wanting to kiss.

Your first step is to ensure that you are clean and breath is not stinking.

Put some effort in making sure that you can physically seduce your partner.

Seduction should never end on either ends but the reality is that one partner may have more strength in that area than the other..

Naturally, we all get complacent and stop seducing each other.

Commit to catching it when he or she is retracting from the usual PDA and make sure that you improve…

Before asking… “Is everything okay?”

And then, listen carefully to what the concerns may be.

However, if your spouse has always been that way due to background, culture, personality, and etc. that’s a different issue altogether.

(5) Arguments Everywhere

Arguments are not the same as disagreements.

They are pointless repetitive clarification of points that leads to bad energy and kill attraction.

So if you do engage in enough arguments, you should not be surprised about ending up in a sexless marriage.

If you don’t feel that arguments kills sex, attraction, relationships, and marriages, there is a high chance that your partner disagrees with you.

In fact, if you bring it up, it will cause an argument… and create a vicious cycle of a sexless marriage..

What about… “wife says she loves me but not in love with me.”

Loving you is decision she made at the altar and being in love with you is a feeling that she doesn’t have right now.

The keyword phrase is “right now”. It’s temporary and it can only be permanent if you don’t work on bringing attraction back into your marriage.

But the first step is to stop panicking about that and learn how listen to her emotions without involving much of your emotions.

Couples counseling can help with this kind of stuff.

My wife says she doesn’t love me anymore and wants a divorce.”

Same issue; don’t panic about this temporary feeling.

Don’t attempt to work on her. Instead work on yourself and build a self that will attract her back to you and a better relationship.

Make her earn you back.

The same attraction and self worth issues can be worded and a few different ways.

“My wife loves me but doesn’t desire me.”

“My ex said she doesn’t love me anymore.”

“Wife doesn’t love me but won t leave.”

Obviously, she REALLY doesn’t want to leave. It’s an attraction issue and it starts with you, the complainer.

“I don ‘t love my wife anymore but she loves me.”

So why are you complaining… I know why.

You are just not attracted to her right now.

But maybe you are afraid of leaving. That’s feminine energy.

Decide what you want to do and move on from the misery.

If you keep dragging her in your misery, she may eventually bring out her masculine energy, decide for you and leave.

Then you will hate yourself and want her back suddenly; may be you need to see her with another man first.

You don’t have to be with her if you don’t want to.

But for your own good, learn how to be decisive like a man in his full essence and you will attract the woman that you desire.

You need to read the book “Get My Marriage Back” 10-15 times.. it will help in taking control of your emotions.

It may be her and may be not, but she will always respect you as a man.

Click Here to Take the 2 Minutes Sexless Marriage Quiz

Below is a question for us to address with this lesson…

“I have a problem.

My wife wants to separate.

She said she doesn’t love me anymore but she also said,

I love you because you are the father of my kids and also because of the struggles we’ve been through.

We have been together for 11 years and I still love her.

What can I do? I’m just so confused.

We haven’t even talked about a divorce.

She has never brought it up and of course I don’t want a divorce.

This is just so confusing.

We still live together with our kids in the same house.

We still have sex and sometimes we kind of flirt.

But she doesn’t want to kiss me like she is afraid as if something.

It’s just so weird.

She said she doesn’t love me but she still has an affection for me so it’s very confusing.

It’s like do you love me or not.

And also, she has a big pride; she wants to be right all the time and never says she is wrong even when she is.”

Enjoy the video.

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