In this lesson, you will discover 3 things you must be determined to figure out if and when you go to a couples' counseling.
Here are is a whole article on marriage specific counseling and how to get the most help from it... if you need it all.
Before I dive into that, here is a quick tip for you especially if you are in a marriage.
Anytime, your significant other has for you to go to a couples counseling session,
Recognize that instantly as an amazing opportunity to learn something new.
That's not really a moment to get defensive and be asking why you all need it.
If you do that, recognize the defensive as the first reason why you need a couples' counseling.
Now, people tend to waste money and time at a counseling session because of lack of preparation.
Therefore write these 3 things down to ask the counselor to help you figure out.
(1) The 1st thing to learn from Couples Counseling is Emotion Control
You will need this particularly with respect to the uniqueness of your relationship.
So the counselor may need to hear you and your concerns out first and then...
Specifically ask for help with emotional control. It will make your investment worthwhile.
(2) Betrayal Recovery
If you are sure that your significant other loves you, it's worth fighting for it if you have the urge.
But the worst you can do is stay in a relationship and unknowingly be abusing each other emotionally.
Ask for tools specifically for betrayal recovery so that you can heal properly.
It will also work for infidelity and any trust-related issues.
(3) Risk Benefit Analysis
If you've invested significant time in the relationship and you are not sure if your partner loves you in a healthy way,
Ask your counselor to outline the risk and benefits of staying and leaving the relationship.
That way, you can know your choices properly and make a proper decision.
YOU have to be the one to decide; no one can do that for you.
If these 3 is all you get out of the couples' counseling session, you will come with significant growth...
Both as an individual and for the relationship which doesn't have to be staying together by the way.
Below is a question for us to address Lessons from Counseling ...
“My husband and I have been married for 16 years now.
He is my best friend and I am more than sure he still loves me.
But he betrayed me. Please help.
I don't want to leave him but I feel I have no other choice.
Several years ago, he was unfaithful prior to our marriage.
Although he made a solid promise in the eyes of God never to fail me again.
The infidelity isn't the only thing that's jeopardizing our marriage...
At this point, I don't recognize him any more and I am ready to file for divorce.
I feel like if I stay, I will break the promise that I made to myself when I forgave him the first time.
Basically, I feel like he will fail me again.
I don't know what to do & breaking apart.
I am willing to leave a man I am completely devoted to and in love with."
Enjoy the video.
Are you having a difficult time getting your spouse or the person you love on the same page? Is your dream to build a happily ever after life heading down the drains?
I know... The harsh reality is that your marriage is over... IT'S BROKEN... "Can it be saved?"
...And maybe you still even live in the house with your spouse, barely any sex or intimacy and probably in denial. I get it.
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It feels very dark in your matrimonial home and you can’t even share your ordeal with anyone. You try so many moves to save your marriage but your spouse just doesn’t care anymore;
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Exhausted, you share your experience with your family and now the whole family is in feud; your parents, siblings, on both sides of the family etc. They have all caught feelings.
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May be your situation is not bad at all, every marriage will go through crisis as a test to take you to greatness.
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I'm sure you are a smart person because you found your way here. But clearly, your smartness and common sense hasn't worked out well in your marriage.
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i checked out... Affairs, infidelity, 3rd party and extended family influences, vendetta, bitterness, resentments.... Eventually she said it all...
"I need space."
"I need time."
"I need to find myself."
"I don't love you anymore."
As you can imagine or probably experienced already, that's not a fun thing to here from your spouse or a person you love.
Because of the unusual bond and friendship we've always had, it was even more confusing for the both us to be in that space.
In her words....
"I was lost and cried on the wrong shoulders."
Once I was ready to put my home together, I engaged in 3 simple secret techniques that attracted her back on a journey in joint forces with me.
Like I said, it was impossible for Lola and I to get back together... our marriage hit rock bottom. It was too late. The damage was irreversible and all that.
In the book, you will learn why that's the best thing that actually happened to us in the 9th year of our marriage.
By the 10th year of marriage, she filed for the divorce.
Just the 2 of us have taken the full the responsibility for how we got into that space. Other people were involved and it made things even worse but we intentionally and unintentionally invited them in...
Lola and I are 100% responsible for the invitation.
Guess who's responsible for our brand new and stronger marriage. Besides God, we both take full credit for that as well.
YES... It took 2 to tango using the techniques in this book. But I, Ola, started the dance first and it worked. You only need "YOU" to put this secret techniques to work immediately either as the husband or wife who wants to fight for the marriage.
It's a quick read but you will enjoy it because we opened up and shared tons of our stories with you. You will be able to relate to one or all of these stories .
We know the EXACT feeling of the pain, hurt and heart ache that you are going through.
We are the ultimate on-going success story.
I know you want your marriage back... But what use is a toxic marriage if you are not happy.
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Remember when both of you were in love...
You can get back to an even a better place because of the massive wisdom you will discover in this book combined with the pain you have now.
What is the success rate of couples counseling?
When the counseling is emotionally focus therapy, the success rate dramatically go up from 50% to roughly 75% according to studies.
How much does couples Counselling cost?
The cost of couples counseling varies from $75 - $200 per hours depending on the location and the profile of the counselor that you choose.
There are also apps these days where you can get help; all you have to do is search your app store.
What to expect in couples counseling?
You can expect couples counseling to help you and your partner with effective communication.
Don't expect or ask for decision making; you will however get the skills you need to be able to decide for yourself.
Should we go to couples counseling?
If you are asking that question, you should go anyway. It won't hurt your relationship; you will only be enlightened more about the dynamics of your relationship so that you can make the most from it.
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