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Question: “My Wife DOESN’T Say I LOVE YOU Back”
If your wife doesn’t say she loves you back there are a couple of things that are happening there.
But first of all, let’s go back to the beginning.
Let’s go back to the root when you guys got together for the first time.
When you started dating did she used to say, “I love you”?
If she used to say I love you and something just happened and then she stopped,
…then we need to address those things that happened.
If you can recall something has happened, I don’t believe you.
You need to dig a little deeper.
Something happened and then she stopped.
First of all, if she used to say I love you but somehow she doesn’t say I love you anymore back to you,
…we need to sort out the issues that happened.
Whatever makes a woman get to a space where she doesn’t feel like saying I love you back,
…it must be really bad.
It takes a lot for a woman to get into that space where she doesn’t say I love you back.
Basically, what’s going on is that she doesn’t feel safe.
She doesn’t feel safe professing the love like that to you any much longer.
So here’s the thing, if she never said that, and then suddenly you just wanna experience a woman saying that back to you,
I would say you have a big thing in front of you that you need to do.
First of all, you need to express that and say, “Hey, how come you never say I love you back?”.
You need to know the answer to that question.
So that’s first of all, communication.
That’s straight up just communication 101 and find out why she doesn’t say that.
She may say “that’s just not what we’re doing in our family”,
…and then you expressed like “I would appreciate that, you know from my family, that’s a big part of our culture. Just say that back to me babe, what’s the big deal” right?
Don’t be too serious, say it in front and love because remember the person that doesn’t say I love you, either they said it before or they’ve never said it before,
…they just don’t feel safe professing that kind of grand gesture to you.
The worst thing you wanna do is to make them feel even worse or make them feel more unsafe.
You’ve got to make them feel safer, Right?
So it’s a simple conversation in love, in fun, don’t worry too much about it, just express it and say, “Hey babe, you never say I love you back to me” and just shut up.
Just wait and see what they say.
Now if you know some things have gone down, you did some things or she said you did some things and she doesn’t feel safe any longer.
Some kind of crisis happened in your marriage.
She doesn’t say I love you back to you, then the real issues to fix that issue, whatever happened.
And that’s going to take time because it takes time to break down and, by the way, take shorter time to destroy.
It’s gonna take you a little bit longer to build back up.
So focus on the things you need to build because when someone says “I love you” to you, it’s a symptom of how they feel inside.
It’s not the main thing, it’s just how they feel because of everything else that’s right.
If things are wrong, don’t try to force a person to say I love you back, not especially if you’re going to be being defensive or say it in a way that you’re insecure or anything like that.
You want to make sure that you actually never ask a woman to say I love you back to you because if you have to ask them,
…to say I love you back to you, there’s a good chance that they just don’t love you, and it’s just gonna get worse.
It’s gonna turn them off even much more.
So what I will say is that focus on doing things that a woman will receive from you and make them feel like “I love you”.
Focus on finding out what those things are for your wife and focus on that and be stubborn about it.
Now, it’s easier said than done but it gets easier if you’re spiritually strong, if you’re mentally strong,
…If you are engaged with your personal purpose in life and then also if you are actively in self development.
So self sustainability of mentally, self health, self help, self love.
If you have those things, confidence will naturally show out and that’s attractive and those are the things that make a woman say “I love you”.
Now ultimately, if she doesn’t feel safe because of things you’ve done, she will feel safe again but not if you keep reminding her that she doesn’t say I love you back to you.
You need to focus on the things you need to do and be patient, because patience, by itself is very attractive.
When a woman knows that you give them patience, like you’re not overreacting because “I love you”.
If he doesn’t feel like saying I love you right now, that’s just right now.
Maybe tomorrow, that’s just right now still.
Only now is all that exists, don’t worry about everything else.
If she’s doing everything else, it is only a matter of time, just do your part and be a husband and say “I love you”.
Then if she doesn’t say “I love you”, don’t get attached to the outcome because the outcome will come when you earn it.
So again, if somebody’s saying I love you back to you, it’s somebody who feels safe,
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…if they don’t feel safe for whatever reason, they’re not going to say right now and you get to decide as a human being if that’s a deal breaker for you.
Being decisive as a human being, that’s also attractive so you may say that’s a deal breaker, “if you can’t say I love you back to me, what are we doing” that’s attractive.
If you are decisive don’t just say that I sit out there in the relationship.
But if you know that this is the person you love and you want to give them that kind of patience, then that’s a decision.
Stick with that decision and focus on yourself.
Focus on your personal purpose, focus on yourself and make sure you have a strong spiritual background,
…because you’re gonna need that in the form of patience.
That’s what I have for you on this episode.
The key thing is, don’t worry too much about it.
Focus on building the relationship and everything else shall come to you.