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You are about to discover what to do if all signals indicate that the wife you married doesn’t desire you anymore even though she claims she loves you.
What a confusion right?
Are women crazy?
How do you love a husband you don’t desire?
If you’ve asked these questions, it’s little to no wonder.
I also used to hear my husband tell me he loved me but simultaneously,
I felt undesired when he revealed certain behaviors.
To be honest, I didn’t know any better either so I went in the easiest direction. I stacked up resentments.
My name is LOLA and I am the co-author of the book
GET MY MARRIAGE BACK with my husband OLA
…which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
You will also see an opportunity to book a coaching session with us.
as soon as we say anything that makes sense to you,
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Without any further ado, here is my husband.
This is OLA
I was on the receiving end of those resentments she mentioned earlier and it was not fun as you can probably imagine.
We got married and I flipped my legs on the table and just relaxed like most new husbands.
After all, we are now committed to each other for life.
PREVIOUS POST: 💔 5 Reasons Your Wife is NOT Affectionate Anymore
What else is there to worry about? So I thought or acted at least.
It’s called complacency and we all do it in one shape, form or the other.
The truth is that I truly loved my wife and my family even back then but that didn’t stop me from being complacent.
Here is the first thing you should know.
On the other end of being complacent is a person you love who may be feeling undesired by you even if you don’t mean to.
And you know what they say about hurt-people. They hurt people right?
That’s right. But I didn’t plan out how I was going to hurt you back.
It was more-so about two people who entered a whole marriage to wing things along.
I know what you are thinking.
Why didn’t we vet properly and go through premarital counseling?
Not only did we engage in some premarital counseling,
we actually dated and were in a committed relationship for 3 years before we went to the altar.
Here is what we know today after reviewing, consulting and coaching many people in modern marriages .
People that say “I do” don’t know what they are doing because they couldn’t possibly know.
When you haven’t experienced marriage,
you are in a completely different context and it is what it is.
So when I complained about a few things a few times only to get undesirable responses from my husband,
I continued to feel more unsafe to express myself.
The resentments started to build up naturally.
It is in fact true that unexpressed expectations turn to resentments.
It is paramount that you give your partner freedom to express their expectations and the key is to not take those expectations personally.
In the next video, we discuss how to manage expectations in your marriage because unmanaged expectations are actually worse than unexpressed expectations.
We Got This Comment,
“My Wife Says She Loves Me But I Don’t Feel it”
Have you ever felt that way?
After our relationship deteriorated so badly, I was still pretty much oblivious.
To me it wasn’t that difficult. I just want my wife to want me and it was weird to me that she didn’t get it.
Before I knew it, I started creating room in my life for the idea of entertaining attention that was being deprived on the sidelines.
We never stopped proclaiming our love for each other verbally but I didn’t feel it.
As a man, I simply normalized it because I grew up with Uncles who had and exercised options when it comes to women; married or not.
Like most men…
*I thought about sexual attraction.
*I wondered why you avoided intimacy and I couldn’t touch you anymore.
*I resented the audacity of committing and not showing up to our marriage.
So of course over time, the disconnection reflected occasionally in my energy and at one point, my wife verbally gave up on us.
The Main Lesson
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel
That rock bottom helped me discover the secret.
A certain type of love required for all marriages is a choice.
However, desire, affection, and attraction are symptoms of a certain consistent way of showing up in your marriage as a man.
A typical wife has a lot on her plate and simply doesn’t get to decide if they want to desire you or not.
Think about it.
In the beginning of your love affair, your wife desired you without knowing enough about you.
Though it wasn’t controlled, it was an attraction.
So we can agree that desire in a marriage is not some logical decision.
At least, that’s not reality.
But it can absolutely be reverse-engineered especially with the history of desire that used to exist between the two of you.
We know it can happen again but it’s easier said than done.
With proper support it’s absolutely possible because we are a testimony.
But you will have to engage your power and it’s impossible when you are playing the victim.
Check out the next video on the screen for more information about that.