Question: “Does My Wife MISS ME During SEPARATION?”
It depends, but let me give you the different nuances.
Separation in my opinion, it’s always a good thing.
If you find yourself in a place or at least one person finding himself in a place where they’re asking for separation, that’s actually a good thing.
I know it’s in a twisted weird way, it’s a good thing because what is the worst or what is the alternative?
The alternative is that you’ll live in a toxic marriage.
Yes, you may not see it coming, especially as men.
Usually if your wife asks you for separation, you don’t see it coming because we tend to be oblivious to the reality of what’s going on emotionally in the relationship.
We tend to become complacent.
Most people become complacent in the relationship period, not just men,
…but men, a lot of us don’t see it when it’s coming.
It’s usually extremely shocking, I mean it’s a terrible thing to hear that your wife wants separation,
…especially if she wants divorce, that she wants to separate from you.
That’s a painful and terrible thing to experience.
We, my wife and I went through something like that.
Some people suggest trial separation, some people suggest separation in the same house, which is kind of weird.
We did, we went through separation in the same house, but it wasn’t intentional.
I felt like if it’s intentional, if we kind of decided we wanted to do that, that would be weird and probably wouldn’t work.
But we kind of became roommates during our 9th year in marriage.
We’re just roommates, basically.
We did that obviously because of our kids and their many reasons why people do things like that,
…But separation is what we’re talking about.
Does my wife miss me during separation?
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The straightforward answer to that is, Yes they will,
…but it also depends on the extent of the damage that your marriage and relationship, especially your relationship with your wife.
It depends on the extent of the damages that you may have created knowingly, mostly unknowingly.
Most people don’t just be in the marriage and say, “Hey, I wanna damage the relationship”.
Most people are just being people right, good people.
Good people who are oblivious, they think they are the greatest person in the world, they think they came from a great family.
They think they have been perfect, it’s just always the other person’s fault.
Most people on both sides feel that same way, but that’s the thing with emotions.
That’s the thing with relationships, it’s not about right and wrong.
It’s not about who knows how to do it the best.
For the most part it’s about emotional intelligence.
So now let’s stick to the emotions.
Let’s stick to the psychology of a relationship.
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Will a person who used to spend a lot of time with you, miss you during separation?
Yes, of course.
…But it also depends on how toxic that relationship was.
If they separated from you, meaning they go to the other side, they go to the greener,
…you know how they say, “the grass is not always greener on the other side”.
That’s not always true.
Sometimes that relationship was so toxic, that the grass was actually greener on the other side.
For the most part, No the grass is not greener on the other side.
Every relationship you get into will have its own issues and will be completely new and will create a shock,
That’s why I said separation for the most part, 99% of the time is not a bad thing.
It’s like “distance makes the heart go fonder”, that’s a saying.
That’s a cliche, which is true that distance makes the heart fonder, so you want to allow it.
If somebody is asking for separation, they’re asking for space and time, that’s exactly what you wanna give them.
You know why?
Because they will miss you.
Especially if you are emotionally centered yourself that you’re in that space that is actually okay with you, for them to take that time.
Sometimes it’s not just full blown separation from your marriage.
Sometimes they’re just asking for a trip with their girlfriends.
Yeah, that may be shocking to you from where you came from, your family, your culture,
…it may be completely a taboo that a wife would ask for time to go spend with friends in Cancun.
Somewhere it may be crazy to your head because of your background, but that very same thing could be detrimental to your marriage and relationship.
You wanna basically love in the way that the other person feels free.
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So the real question is that, will my wife miss me during separation?
Yes.
Does your wife miss you right now during separation?
You are asking meaning you are already in separation and you’re asking if your wife misses you.
Yes, but here’s the kicker, you wanna be patient.
You don’t want to say “hey, because she missed me, let me pick up the phone and start calling them right now”.
Wrong move.
If she checked out and she asked for separation, you wanna wait for proper signs.
I did another video on the signs that your wife is ready to reconcile during separation.
So you wanna make sure you wait for the signs.
You wanna make sure that the around you wanna make sure that is natural.
Because again, love has to feel natural.
Even though you’re deliberately, you have to get to a place, eventually your marriage,
…where you’re deliberately loving somebody, you learn the actual act of loving a person.
You want to make sure it still feels like a feeling, because that’s attraction, right?
If it feels forced, it’s gonna backfire, it’s gonna work completely against you.