Tag: Marriage Advice for men

Question: “My Wife DOESN’T Say I LOVE YOU Back”

If your wife doesn’t say she loves you back there are a couple of things that are happening there.

But first of all, let’s go back to the beginning.

Let’s go back to the root when you guys got together for the first time.

When you started dating did she used to say, “I love you”?

If she used to say I love you and something just happened and then she stopped,

…then we need to address those things that happened.

If you can recall something has happened, I don’t believe you.

You need to dig a little deeper.

Something happened and then she stopped.

First of all, if she used to say I love you but somehow she doesn’t say I love you anymore back to you,

…we need to sort out the issues that happened.

Whatever makes a woman get to a space where she doesn’t feel like saying I love you back,

…it must be really bad.

It takes a lot for a woman to get into that space where she doesn’t say I love you back.

Basically, what’s going on is that she doesn’t feel safe.

She doesn’t feel safe professing the love like that to you any much longer.

So here’s the thing, if she never said that, and then suddenly you just wanna experience a woman saying that back to you,

I would say you have a big thing in front of you that you need to do.

First of all, you need to express that and say, “Hey, how come you never say I love you back?”.

You need to know the answer to that question.

So that’s first of all, communication.

That’s straight up just communication 101 and find out why she doesn’t say that.

She may say “that’s just not what we’re doing in our family”,

…and then you expressed like “I would appreciate that, you know from my family, that’s a big part of our culture. Just say that back to me babe, what’s the big deal” right?

Don’t be too serious, say it in front and love because remember the person that doesn’t say I love you, either they said it before or they’ve never said it before,

…they just don’t feel safe professing that kind of grand gesture to you.

The worst thing you wanna do is to make them feel even worse or make them feel more unsafe.

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You’ve got to make them feel safer, Right?

So it’s a simple conversation in love, in fun, don’t worry too much about it, just express it and say, “Hey babe, you never say I love you back to me” and just shut up.

Just wait and see what they say.

Now if you know some things have gone down, you did some things or she said you did some things and she doesn’t feel safe any longer.

Some kind of crisis happened in your marriage.

She doesn’t say I love you back to you, then the real issues to fix that issue, whatever happened.

And that’s going to take time because it takes time to break down and, by the way, take shorter time to destroy.

It’s gonna take you a little bit longer to build back up.

So focus on the things you need to build because when someone says “I love you” to you, it’s a symptom of how they feel inside.

It’s not the main thing, it’s just how they feel because of everything else that’s right.

If things are wrong, don’t try to force a person to say I love you back, not especially if you’re going to be being defensive or say it in a way that you’re insecure or anything like that.

You want to make sure that you actually never ask a woman to say I love you back to you because if you have to ask them,

…to say I love you back to you, there’s a good chance that they just don’t love you, and it’s just gonna get worse.

It’s gonna turn them off even much more.

So what I will say is that focus on doing things that a woman will receive from you and make them feel like “I love you”.

Focus on finding out what those things are for your wife and focus on that and be stubborn about it.

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Now, it’s easier said than done but it gets easier if you’re spiritually strong, if you’re mentally strong,

…If you are engaged with your personal purpose in life and then also if you are actively in self development.

So self sustainability of mentally, self health, self help, self love.

If you have those things, confidence will naturally show out and that’s attractive and those are the things that make a woman say “I love you”.

Now ultimately, if she doesn’t feel safe because of things you’ve done, she will feel safe again but not if you keep reminding her that she doesn’t say I love you back to you.

You need to focus on the things you need to do and be patient, because patience, by itself is very attractive.

When a woman knows that you give them patience, like you’re not overreacting because “I love you”.

If he doesn’t feel like saying I love you right now, that’s just right now.

Maybe tomorrow, that’s just right now still.

Only now is all that exists, don’t worry about everything else.

If she’s doing everything else, it is only a matter of time, just do your part and be a husband and say “I love you”.

Then if she doesn’t say “I love you”, don’t get attached to the outcome because the outcome will come when you earn it.

So again, if somebody’s saying I love you back to you, it’s somebody who feels safe,

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…if they don’t feel safe for whatever reason, they’re not going to say right now and you get to decide as a human being if that’s a deal breaker for you.

Being decisive as a human being, that’s also attractive so you may say that’s a deal breaker, “if you can’t say I love you back to me, what are we doing” that’s attractive.

If you are decisive don’t just say that I sit out there in the relationship.

But if you know that this is the person you love and you want to give them that kind of patience, then that’s a decision.

Stick with that decision and focus on yourself.

Focus on your personal purpose, focus on yourself and make sure you have a strong spiritual background,

…because you’re gonna need that in the form of patience.

That’s what I have for you on this episode.

The key thing is, don’t worry too much about it.

Focus on building the relationship and everything else shall come to you.

Question: “How Do You Tell If Your Wife STILL LOVES YOU After SEPARATION?”

There are a couple of things that I wanted to mention here.

First of all, you don’t try to tell, it’s not worth it.

Here’s why,

I know you want your wife back or your family back and wanna make things work again,

…but we’re talking about emotional and psychological factors that play a big role in this situation.

If you don’t show that anyone else wants you or if you don’t show that you have options, there’s a good chance that your wife doesn’t want you back.

At least not yet.

So, How do you tell if your wife still loves you after separation?

You wait until she tells you.

That’s number one.

When she tells you that “I still love you”, believe her.

Even at that, you don’t want to just jump at it and like “I’m excited. She still loves me.”

You don’t wanna do that because that will backfire but if she hasn’t told you there’s a good chance that she’s not in love with you.

By the way, if your wife was ever your wife and she ever told you she loves you, she probably still loves you,

…But that’s a completely different thing from, she’s still in love with you.

Does she feel like she’s in love with you right now?

There’s a good chance that she’s not.

It depends on how particular you are about that.

You don’t wanna make that a big deal, if you make it a big deal that becomes a big deal.

If she’s not in love with you right now, she’s just not in love with you right now.

It’s temporary.

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Depending on your level of patience and if you’ve been working on yourself, that is what’s going to determine if she will ever come back to you,

…or if she will ever say to you that she loves you.

See, a woman will not tell you she loves you if she doesn’t feel like she’s in love with you.

Love and Being in Love with you are two different things.

Loving a person is the action thing that you do.

There are multiple different meanings of love but for the purpose of the scope of this video,

…we’re talking about being in love with you, or she loves you.

She can tell you should love you and not be in love with you.

That really doesn’t do you any good.

The real question you’re trying to get answered is that,

…is she in a place where she can come back to you, if she can come back home or if you can go back home, because you’re in the midst of a separation.

I would say you’re worried about the wrong things.

So first of all, wait for her to tell you.

There are a lot of things that will happen before she actually gets to tell you that she loves you again.

Which means she feels like she’s in love with you.

A lot of things that have to align depending on the damages that your marriage has encountered over time.

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How far is the damage?

We don’t know, I don’t know unless I actually coach you personally and I talked to you.

So I don’t know the extent of the damages but either way, it doesn’t matter.

You’re gonna have to have what I call infinite patience.

You have to have patience.

That’s extremely difficult when you don’t have a personal purpose and mission in life that basically preoccupies your time,

… that you don’t really have time to be wondering if she still loves you or not.

So if you’re wondering if she still loves you or not, there’s a good chance that she’s not attracted to you right now.

There’s a good chance that you have too much time in your hands and you’re busy wondering if she still loves you.

You need to find a way to deliberately create attraction between you and your wife in a way that she’s the one that starts to wonder about you.

If she starts to wonder about you, that’s directly equivalent to still in love with you, wanting to get back with you, wanting to move back home or asking you to come back home.

Basically saying, “I love you. I want us to work on it now”.

Now, how patients can you possibly be in order to wait for that to happen?

If you don’t feel like you can be that patient, that’s exactly why she doesn’t love you right now.

Basically, you don’t respect yourself.

You don’t have self respect, you don’t have self love, you don’t have a healthy level of pride about self love.

To the extent where, I’m not telling you to be arrogant.

That’s not what I’m telling you.

I’m just trying to tell you that she doesn’t want you if you don’t come off as confident about yourself.

She will probably not want you, she’s not the only one that won’t want you.

Everybody else would not want you if they feel like you’re lacking confidence because there’s something that all of us are attracted to.

Even us men as far as being attracted to a woman, we love a confident woman.

You love a confident woman.

She also loves a confident man.

So how can you showcase confidence?

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How can you showcase confidence that “well, she’s gonna come back to you. She belongs with you”

See that attitude?

It’s not an attitude as negative or arrogant or nasty or narcissistic in any way.

It’s an attitude of confidence that you know that God has the best for you and any time you see her,

…I just showcase that by still being loving.

I’m not saying you love her, but being loving, friendly and giving her the freedom to decide when she wants to come back to you.

That’s how you tell if your wife still loves you.

How do you tell if your wife still loves you after separation?

Wait for her.

The real question is that, “how can I tell if you still love yourself?”

I can’t tell that you still love yourself.

You may love yourself but I can’t tell you still love yourself enough for her to love you,

…because you are still asking this question, How do you tell if your wife still loves you after separation?

How about getting the attitude of,

“she loves you anyway, I know she loves me anyway but I’m gonna wait for her to tell me, and I’m gonna move on until then. I’m gonna live my life,a blissful, happy, fruitful, purposeful, mission driven life”

…Because that’s exactly what’s gonna attract that.

That’s all I have for you on this video.

Hopefully you’ve been enlightened and educated.

Go to LolaAndOla.com and go get your hands on the book ”Get My Marriage Back”.

You need to read the book 10 to 15 times.

If you cherry pick around videos, it won’t work.

You need to learn the skills of attracting a woman even if she is separated from you,

…by the way, it’s easier if he’s separated from you but you have to learn the skill set.

That’s all I have, see you on the next one, peace.