Question: “My Wife Is NOT ATTRACTED To Me Anymore”
If you are experiencing a situation where you feel like your wife is not attracted to you anymore,
…I know that feeling and it’s usually not your fault.
For me, it wasn’t my fault so there’s a good chance it’s not your fault.
So relax and let’s study together.
What will bring your wife to a place where she’s acting like she’s not attracted to you anymore?
What does that mean exactly?
Can we spell this out?
Does that mean your wife doesn’t wanna have sex with you anymore?
She doesn’t like the idea of touching in public or even privately, she’s not affectionate right now, she’s not feeling it.
Well, there are many reasons why that could happen.
Like if your wife just had a baby, there is a good chance that there’s a lot of things going on with her body, from a hormonal standpoint.
So you wanna be aware, you want to study or you wanna learn these things,
…but let’s just assume that it’s not because she just had a baby, let’s just assume that suddenly something like that just happened.
Some people will go to the angle of, is she seeing somebody else?
Is there somebody at the job?
What could it be?
First of all, the good news is that it doesn’t have to be someone else that she’s seeing,
…it could be, but it doesn’t have to be.
But even if it’s someone else, the worst thing you wanna worry about, is that person.
In your mind, you should look at that person as a loser because if a woman does not have enough integrity to hold on to the commitment she has with you,
…just because she is filled in, then whoever attracts her, he’s probably a loser so don’t worry about that too much.
However, let’s worry about your relationship with your wife.
There is something missing and usually it’s not because you’re lacking.
It’s the relationship itself, it’s not any of the individuals.
See when we have a relationship, we start with excitement, with it’s very highs, higher highs and higher lows,
…but unfortunately in life we get complacent and everyone relaxes.
We get to know each other and then naturally we start to take each other for granted.
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Whoever gets to that turning point first, will basically reject the other person and the other person will feel that rejection,
…and that breeds obsession,
But honestly it’s not just you, it’s on both ends.
Whoever rejects first will create obsession on the other end and it’s not necessarily your fault.
It’s just something that happens to the best of us in life, especially in the longer term relationship like marriage.
So what are the things that you need to do?
First of all, it’s okay to accept it like ”yes she is not attracted right now”, because attraction is temporary in nature.
If you do some things in a long term or long enough, then it feels like that is a marriage relationship goal, it feels like you’re always attracted to each other.
Yes, because you’ve stored long enough in your love tank.
However, if you haven’t figured this out yet and you are still experiencing this situation where you feel like your wife is not attracted to you,
…then there’s one,two or three things that you should learn.
The first thing you should learn is that your wife will only be attracted to you if you are attracted to yourself.
There is a thing about confidence that attracts anyone in life.
Even men or women, when you have confidence and everyone can feel it and you’re basically beaming confidence out of your body, everyone is attracted to that.
So if you’re showing off with insecurities, if you’re defensive in your conversation, if you’re engaging in unnecessary arguments,
…toxic arguments with your wife, it’s only a matter of time before they start to lose respect for you.
And if she doesn’t respect you, she can’t love you.
If you build enough of those things over time, yes she’s not gonna be attracted to you.
For whatever reason, she’s not attracted right now or at least you don’t feel like she’s attracted to you right now anymore.
There are clearly things that you’re seeing, maybe she doesn’t want to have sex, maybe she doesn’t want to be touched
…like I said earlier, she doesn’t want a public display of affection.
Things like that are signs that she’s not attracted, so let’s just assume she’s not.
The ball is in your court because you have history with this woman, that’s a good thing.
But you gotta give her space.
Essentially, what she’s asking for is space.
You know what they say about distance, “it makes the heart fonder” so if you’re just there trying to smother her, you don’t give her that space to miss you,
…that is the evidence or a good reason why she’s losing attraction for you.
You’re being predictable, she doesn’t have the opportunity to wonder what you’re up to.
Everything is predictable.
That my friend is called BORING and that is why she’s probably not attracted to you.
Now you gotta give her space, but giving people space is easier said than done when you’re not engaged fully 100% with your personal purpose in life,
…which must be bigger than yourself and your wife.
And all put together, it has to be bigger than that.
If you’re not connected to yourself spiritually, if you’re not self sustainable from an emotional standpoint, if you don’t have peace of mind by yourself, with or without your wife,
…she’s not going to be attracted to you because she can smell it because you lack confidence.
So it goes back to the third core pillar, which is the SELF.
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Your self sustainability, self sufficiency and self development, you need to work on that.
Those things will give you the opportunity and give you the strength to be able to pull away from her.
Without missing or skipping the beat in your heart but that will allow her to be attracted back to you because remember, you have a history with her.
So if you have the confidence that you have a history with her, then you’ll be able to allow her the time to come back to you.
In that time period, it’s okay, this is your wife.
For you to find out what she is up to?
No, not what she is up to, you don’t really care about what she’s up to but,
…what is up with her?
More like it.
Like if she has other things that she’s worried about, you can ask her provoking questions like,
…“What’s going on? Do you have anything you want to share with me, baby? I am just wondering if all is well. We haven’t spoken in a while”.
And then if she completely just turned off and doesn’t wanna have the conversation, again give her space and say “Okay, no problem. I gotta go to bed”.
Don’t act salty.
Don’t act butt hurt.
If you’re acting butt hurt around your wife, that’s another reason why she will lose interest and will be less attracted to you.
Just keep that at the back of your mind as you’re navigating these things.
Let me share with you four things that you probably should worry about it.
Connect with yourself spiritually, self development and things like that.
Connect with your personal purpose, things that you may have wanted to do, your dreams that you’ve lost sight of,
…focus and get back on that because that will soak you up because you’re passionate about those things.
And you’ll find it a lot easier to give her space because the key thing is, you’ve got to give her space so she can miss you again.
That’s something that you should focus on.
The last one is yourself.
Your self sustainability, self respect and self love.
If you don’t love yourself, if you’re not beaming out confidence, she’s not gonna be attracted to you.
That’s something you should keep in mind.