In these 3 videos and articles, you will discover simple steps on how to fix a broken marriage and save your marriage even if your spouse has completely checked out of the marriage.
While you are responsible for 500% of a broken marriage, all you need is 100% of your dedication to master this simple fundamentals.
I will also give you free access to a 200 pages book called “Get My Marriage Back” that you can use to single handed-ly fix your marriage.
The skills you are about to master will not only be useful in marriage but in all type of relationships; even professional.
There is a good chance that you have been reacting out of attachment. That will only push your spouse further away and reduce attraction.
It’s all comes down to attraction. These videos will help you build it back up and your spouse won’t even know why they suddenly want you again.
Yes. Your wife is probably cheating on you. But let’s talk.
Sign #1: Sudden Showering
One of the most commonly cited physical signs she just slept with someone else is an immediate desire to shower the exact moment she returns home.
The suspicion usually goes something like this:
“Why is she rushing to the bathroom?
What is she trying to wash off?”
While it’s true that someone who has been unfaithful might shower afterward, so do millions of completely innocent people.
She could have worked a long shift, been at the gym, felt sweaty, or simply preferred showering before bed to relax.
A shower is evidence of a shower.
Nothing more.
The problem begins when anxiety turns ordinary hygiene into a detective case.
Sign #2: An Unfamiliar Cologne or Scent
Another commonly mentioned indicator is noticing an unfamiliar fragrance on her clothing, hair, or skin.
Many men immediately assume another man must be responsible, and they begin connecting unrelated events to support the suspicion.
However, humans constantly absorb scents from their environment.
She could have been exposed to coworkers, crowded public transportation, restaurants, retail stores, or a simple hug from a friend or family member.
Finding an unfamiliar smell is not proof of a betrayal; it is simply a smell. But may be a sign… nonetheless.
Sign #3: Increased Phone Protectiveness
While not technically a physical sign, it is one of the most heavily searched indicators associated with cheating.
Examples include suddenly putting the phone face down, taking it into the bathroom, using new passwords, or becoming visibly startled by notifications.
Many people searching for these signs become especially obsessed with this behavior.
But once again, context matters far more than the action.
Phone privacy can increase due to work confidentiality, financial stress, deep family discussions, or simply wanting a bit of personal boundary space.
Suspicious behavior does not automatically equal guilt, but anxiety always fills informational gaps with worst-case assumptions.
Sign #4: She No Longer Wants To Sleep With You
When a sudden drop in intimacy occurs, men often conclude:
“If she’s not sleeping with me, she must be sleeping with someone else.”
That is an incredibly massive leap.
Relationship intimacy is influenced by dozens of complex variables, including chronic stress, depression, anxiety, hormonal changes, exhaustion, or underlying relationship conflict.
A lack of intimacy certainly indicates a problem in the relationship, but it does not automatically identify the source of that problem.
If you assume this is a sign your wife likes another man, you miss the chance to heal the actual bond. But anything is possible.
Sign #5: Sudden Hall Passes (Uncharacteristic Independence)
First of all, if she gives you a hall pass. She probably wants one for herself.
But some men become suspicious when their wife or girlfriend suddenly starts creating more opportunities for independence.
This might look like more nights out, new social circles, increased solo activities, or giving you unprompted “hall passes” to do your own thing without check-ins.
While a hyper-vigilant mind might view this as a way to balance a guilty conscience or create cover stories, it can also indicate something entirely healthy: personal growth, a new hobby, career development, or a natural desire to break out of a mundane routine.
⚠️ WARNING: Read This Entire Article Before You Draw Any Conclusions
If you are currently searching for the physical signs she just slept with someone else, there is something critical you must understand before reading another word… especially about your own DNA.
This article can become a self-destructive weapon if you use it incorrectly.
The vast majority of people who look for these indicators are desperately searching for certainty whereas, in life, certainty simply does not exist. In fact, that’s a testament to your lack of “GAME”.
The fear that brought you here can easily cause you to misread ordinary behavior, jump to hasty conclusions, and push your further partner away than it already feels.
You must commit to reading this text to the very end before forming any judgments.
The uncomfortable truth is that no physical sign can reliably prove infidelity.
Not one.
When you search for these signs, your mind is looking for an absolute guarantee.
But in reality, every single behavior discussed above could easily mean 2,000 other things that have absolutely nothing to do with cheating or her sleeping with someone else.
The only true confirmation is witnessing it yourself or having undeniable evidence.
Everything else is pure interpretation—and interpretation is dangerous when fear is involved.
Fear doesn’t observe reality; it distorts it.
Let’s examine the commonly discussed signs in comparison to some other possibilities , and then we will address the much bigger issue hiding underneath them.
The Suspected Sign
The Anxious Interpretation
The Common Reality
1. Sudden Showering
Washing off physical evidence or an unfamiliar scent.
A long shift, a hard workout, or wanting to wash off the day.
2. Unfamiliar Scent
Direct physical contact with another man.
Public transit, a coworker’s perfume, or retail environments.
3. Phone Protectiveness
Hiding illicit texts or secret phone calls.
Work confidentiality, personal boundaries, or planning a surprise.
4. Dropping Intimacy
She is getting her physical needs met elsewhere.
Stress, exhaustion, hormonal changes, or relationship burnout.
5. Sudden Hall Passes
Guilt-driven freedom or distracting you from her actions.
A desire for individual hobbies, personal growth, or routine burnout.
The Real Elephant In The Room
The bigger question isn’t “What are the physical signs she just slept with someone else?”
The bigger question is “Why are you looking for them?”
The search itself reveals a profound truth.
People who spend their hours looking up these subtle signs are actually looking for emotional certainty.
They want a guarantee that they won’t get hurt, betrayed, or blindsided.
There is no universal blueprint for how a woman acts when she has cheated. Depending on her personality and the context of the relationship, some women become emotionally distant and protective of their privacy, while others may exhibit an unusual spike in affection due to guilt. Many show no obvious behavioral changes at all. Because severe lifestyle stress, depression, anxiety, and relationship burnout produce identical behavioral shifts, it is impossible to accurately diagnose infidelity based purely on a change in attitude.
Can a man tell when a woman has slept with someone else?
No, can a man tell when a woman has slept with someone else? The short answer is absolutely not through physical observation alone. There are no universal physical markers, biological tells, or cosmetic clues left behind after consensual intimacy. While a man might notice a shift in his partner’s baseline behavior, daily routines, or physical warmth, these changes have thousands of entirely innocent explanations. Attempting to read physical “clues” usually results in false positives fueled entirely by personal insecurity.
Understanding the Shift: When Your Husband’s Touch Triggers Disgust
It is one of the most isolating, heavy, and deeply unsettling feelings a woman can experience in a marriage. You love him, or at least you remember loving him, but now, when he reaches out to touch your arm, leans in for a kiss, or initiates intimacy, your entire body tenses up.
First, let’s strip away the layers of judgment. What you are feeling is a real biological and emotional response. Your body is screaming a truth that your conscious mind might still be trying to minimize, rationalize, or hide from.
But we aren’t here to coddle you in a state of helpless victimhood. At our core, we believe in Self-Awareness, Power, and Leadership. We approach relationship navigation from a standpoint of deep empathy, but also fierce empowerment. That means looking at the brutal truth in the short term so you can reclaim your sovereignty, your desire, and your peace in the long term.
Let’s dissect exactly what this visceral repulsion means, how you got here, and the radical self-leadership required to fix it—or face it.
The Language of Repulsion: What Are You Really Saying?
If you were to sit across from your husband right now, look him in the eyes, and communicate what is happening inside you, what words exactly would you use?
Would you be honest enough to tell him, “You disgust me” or “My husband repulses me”?
For the vast majority of women, the answer is an absolute, terrifying no. But why? Why do women mask this feeling behind excuses like “I’m just tired,”“I have a headache,” or “I’m stressed about work”?
The Reasons We Hide the Truth
Fear of the Fallout: Saying “I feel disgusted when my husband touches me” or “I hate it when my husband touches me” feels like dropping a nuclear bomb on the relationship. You fear his anger, his tears, his neediness or immediate abandonment.
The Guilt Complex: You believe a “good wife” shouldn’t feel this way. You internalize the shame, assuming you are broken, cold, or experiencing a random medical loss of libido.
Avoiding Direct Conflict: It is easier to mismanage expectations and deploy tactical avoidance than to face the raw ego-shattering reality of sexual deadness.
The True Intent Behind the Statement
When a woman realizes, “Why do I hate my husband touching me?” she isn’t just making an observation about skin-on-skin contact. What she really wants with that statement is one of two things:
A Wake-Up Call / An Emergency Brake: She wants the current dynamic of the marriage to stop immediately because it is draining her soul.
Absolution and Escape: She wants validation that the romantic spark is entirely dead so she can emotionally checkout without feeling like the “bad guy.”
How the Poison Accumulates: Short-Term vs. Long-Term Collapse
A physical aversion to a partner rarely happens overnight. It is a slow, compounding toxic drip. While outright evil behavior is the rare exception in marriages, the slow rot of attraction is the norm.
Marriages collapse primarily due to two things: Mismanaged Pride and Unmet or Mismanaged Expectations. When these two elements clash, your nervous system begins to view your partner not as a safe haven, but as a psychological threat.
The Short-Term Timeline: Sudden Triggers
In the short term, disgust can be triggered by a specific, sharp fracture in the relationship’s foundation:
The Unresolved Micro-Betrayal: An argument where he weaponized your vulnerabilities, left you unprotected in front of family, or dismissed your tears.
The Physical Shift: A sudden, steep decline in his personal hygiene, grooming, or presentation that signals a total abandonment of self-pride.
The “Transactional” Attempt: He spends weeks ignoring you, helps with the dishes once, and immediately expects sexual access. Your body recoils because it feels like a transaction, not intimacy.
The Long-Term Timeline: The Erosion of Polarity
Over years, the erosion builds an architectural wall of repulsion. It follows a predictable trajectory of emotional decay:
When you look back, ask yourself: When was the first time you felt this way? What was the event that triggered it? And conversely, When was the last time?
Often, you will find that the physical aversion locked into place the moment you entirely lost respect for him as a partner, a leader, or an equal.
The Matrix of Triggers: What He Does vs. What You Feel He Does
To regain your power, you must possess the emotional intelligence to separate objective reality from subjective narrative. There is a profound difference between what a man actually does and how your accumulated resentment filters his actions.
Let’s break down this matrix across your core leverage focuses: Friendship, Sex, Expectations, and Pride/Ego.
The Category
The Objective Reality (What He Does/Fails to Do)
The Filter of Resentment (What You Feel He Does)
The Trigger
What he always does: He acts entitled to your body, using sloppy, low-effort physical advances without emotional buildup.
What he never does: He never courts you, dates you, or holds a deep conversation without angling for sex.
You feel he always views you as an object or a utility, entirely erasing your humanity.
You feel he never truly sees you, cherishes you, or values your inner world.
The Turn-Off
What he always does: He exhibits the behaviors of an Anti-Seducer—acting like a Brute (zero patience), a Suffocator (clingy, fragile neediness), or a Reactor (highly volatile and easily triggered).
What he never does: He never takes charge, never exudes quiet confidence, and never protects your emotional peace.
You feel he always acts like an additional child you have to manage rather than a man you can rely on.
You feel he never provides a safe space where you can step out of your masculine management role and drop into your feminine energy.
When a man constantly displays these anti-seducer qualities, attraction dies. Respect, trust, and submission are earned over the mid-to-long term; they cannot be demanded. When he fails to earn them, your body protects itself via physical irritation and cringing.
The Illusion of the “Other Man” and the Myth of Vetting
When facing a sexless, repulsive marriage, many women naturally look out the window. You might ask yourself: “Have I already met a man who can fulfill these needs?”
If you have, and you haven’t left, why? Be brutally honest with yourself. Is it fear of financial instability? Fear of social judgment? Or is it because, deep down, you know something that psychological science and relationship leadership prove to be true?
The 5% Vetting Reality: Vetting a partner before marriage only accounts for about 5% of the long-term success of a relationship. The remaining 95% is entirely determined by how two people navigate the inevitable crisis patterns, manage their pride, and maintain emotional agility over decades.
If you believe a perfect man exists out there who will seamlessly fulfill your 6 Basic Human Emotional Needs (Certainty, Variety, Significance, Connection, Growth, and Contribution) without ever triggering you, you are chasing a ghost.
If you jump ship without changing your internal programming, the exact same problem of disgust, irritation, and coldness will follow you into your next relationship. Why? Because you haven’t addressed the operational system inside you that handles conflict, expectations, and the Art of Seduction.
The Hard Truth: The Educational Deficit in Modern Marriage
Let’s deploy some tough love. You are highly frustrated that your husband doesn’t know how to turn you on, how to behave, or how to make you feel safe.
But ask yourself these two baseline questions:
How many hours of “communication in marriage” training have you taken?
How many hours of “seduction in marriage” training have you taken?
Most couples spend tens of thousands of dollars on a single wedding day, but invest zero dollars and zero hours learning the actual mechanics of long-term human attraction, sexual polarity, and emotional intelligence.
You expect your marriage to perform at an elite level while operating on completely amateur training. When communication breaks down, both partners resort to the 10 Toxic Behaviors That Poison Relationships:
Shaming (“What is wrong with you?”)
Insulting (“You’re pathetic.”)
Blaming & Fault-Finding (“This is entirely your fault.”)
Judgment (“You only care about yourself.”)
Condemnation (“You will never change.”)
Guilt-Tripping (“If you loved me, you’d do this.”)
Discrete Logic (Treating emotional wounds like cold, clinical math equations)
Sarcasm (Cutting down the partner under the guise of humor)
Condescension (Speaking to him from a pedestal of moral superiority)
Right/Wrong Obsession (Prioritizing winning the argument over saving the connection)
If your daily interactions are marinated in these ten poisons, it is a biological certainty that your body will scream, “i don t feel anything when my husband touches me.”
The Path Forward: Radical Leadership and the 3P Framework
So, where do you go from here? How do you move from “my husband repulses me” to a place of clarity, power, and resolution? You navigate this inevitable crisis using our core pillars: GPS (Grounding, Purpose, Self-Awareness) and the 3P Framework.
1. Execute the 3P Framework
When navigating a structural crisis in a marriage, you must rely on Prayer, Patience, and Process.
Prayer (Release the Uncontrollable): Give up the agonizing desire to forcefully change his personality, his intrinsic nature, or his past mistakes. You cannot control his choices.
Patience (Allow Space): Aversion built over years cannot be dismantled in a weekend. Give your nervous system time to settle without forcing yourself into premature physical intimacy that deepens your trauma.
Process (Focus on the Controllable): Shift your entire focus onto what you can control—your boundaries, your radical truth, your physical wellness, and your emotional leadership.
2. Establish Partnership vs. Temporary Leadership
Partnership is the default setting for the day-to-day operation of a healthy marriage. However, when a relationship falls into extreme crisis—such as total physical repulsion—it requires temporary leadership to rise above the chaos.
While social constructs and sexual polarity thrive long-term when the man steps into sustainable masculine leadership, you can be the one to initiate the cycle.
The strength of feminine energy is its capacity to multiply and reciprocate what is provided. If you lead by radically changing the environment—stepping out of the 10 Poisonous Behaviors, stating your objective boundaries with absolute clarity, and seeking professional intervention—you give him a clear runway to step up and claim sustainable leadership. If he refuses, you have your definitive answer.
3. Re-Anchor to the Purposes of Marriage
Look at why you are together. A marriage isn’t just an ongoing romance loop. It serves 7 Core Purposes:
If Pillar 1 (Romance) is currently broken and triggering disgust, look at the other pillars. Are you growing as an individual through this pain? Are you protecting your legacy?
Use this moment of crisis not to sink into passive-aggressive misery, but as a crucible for your own Personal Growth and Leadership. Speak the absolute truth, invest in real marital and seduction education, heal your nervous system’s triggers, and claim the power to choose your path forward with eyes wide open.
A visceral feeling of repulsion is your body’s nervous system screaming an emotional truth that your conscious mind may still be trying to minimize or rationalize. This deep physical aversion rarely happens overnight; it is the biological culmination of a slow, compounding toxic drip of unresolved micro-betrayals, mismanaged expectations, and a foundational loss of respect. When daily marital interactions become marinated in poisonous dynamics like shaming, blame, or condescension, your brain stops viewing your husband as a safe haven and begins treating him as a psychological threat, causing your body to instinctively recoil to protect its own emotional sovereignty.
Why do I get so irritated when my husband touches me?
This intense irritation is often triggered by a sharp fracture in sexual polarity and a profound erosion of friendship within the marriage. When a partner consistently exhibits the qualities of an “anti-seducer”—such as the demanding impatience of a brute, the fragile neediness of a suffocator, or an entitlement to your body without any emotional courtship—his touch feels transactional rather than intimate. You get irritated because his physical advances force you to stay locked in a hyper-vigilant management role, denying you the safe emotional space required to drop your guard and freely receive affection.
Addressing sex starvation, sexless marriages, erectile dysfunction and low levels of attraction are often sensitive but crucial for many couples. Taking self-accountability in your marriage, especially when facing challenges like these is key.
Trigger Warning and Quick Disclaimer: A lot of patience, particularly for yourself, and self-reflection may be required to have a holistic understanding of this topic if you are presently dealing with these issues of sex starvation.
In a recent discussion on Obodo Oyinbo TV and Man of Prestige, we talked about a common scenario where a husband refuses to address his erectile dysfunction, leaving his wife feeling neglected and sex-starved. The question arose: why should she take responsibility for his health issue?
The real answer is: she shouldn’t. Unless there are other problems that need to be solved. Oh yeah, there are more problems. She is feeling neglected and sex-starved.
At this point, we have two choices. We can change the topic to “As a man, what do you do when you are ashamed of your Erectile Dysfunction and Refuse to Seek Help?” or we can address the main topic of “What do you do as a woman dealing with neglect and Sex Starvation Due to Possible Erectile Dysfunction?”
I have a better idea. Let’s address both.
Here’s the twist—it’s not about assigning blame but about taking proactive steps to find solutions and properly assess the sequence of problems. Clearly, communication breakdown is a problem for this couple as expressed by or on behalf of her.
If you’re in a similar situation, it’s essential to acknowledge that your marriage’s health is a shared responsibility, at least until you decide to leave. By taking self-accountability, you focus on what you can control and do to improve the situation and avoid all blaming, shaming, and faulting strategies. They will only make matters worse for you. People who feel judged tend to feel attacked and reciprocate. Listen to understand; avoid the trap.
With that being said, here are five inclusive tips for you:
Tip 1: Understand the Sequence of Problems That Matter
With the Prestige Family, we address these issues from a standpoint of self, power, social dynamics, seduction, attraction, and emotional intelligence. We have a method for the madness you are feeling, and it starts with self.
Which part of the problem can you own up to? In this case, it’s obviously not the ED, but she can truthfully say, “I feel neglected and sex-starved.” When we get to the part of answering the “why,” it becomes easy to disengage from self-accountability because, obviously, the ED is related to his body. It also becomes easy to disengage from her power and focus on the unfairness of having to worry about his refusal to seek help.
Let’s break down the layers of problem-solving that create lasting solutions. There are two main problems here: an unaddressed sexual issue and sex starvation. Giving your problem away (sometimes camouflaged as addressing the root cause) or blaming the other person only exacerbates the original issue. We do need to conduct a root cause analysis, but to do that properly, the closest problem you personally feel, especially emotionally, must be properly identified and owned.
Even though the wife might suspect her husband has ED, self-diagnosis and medication based on suspicions aren’t the answers. A man who is not erect during attempts at sexual intercourse could be experiencing many other issues, which might include low levels of attraction. You might not want to hear that your partner is not attracted to you due to the negative impact of shaming. Instead, you as a wife can take proactive steps to address your dissatisfaction, such as consulting with a relationship coach or counselor to find ways to fix the “not-so-obvious communication” breakdown in your relationship.
Tip 2: Seek Professional Guidance
Dealing with sexual intimacy issues can be daunting, but seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a step toward resolution. Whether it’s consulting with a therapist or a relationship coach, professional guidance can provide clarity and constructive strategies.
You will learn how to encourage open dialogue and support your partner in seeking medical advice. Sometimes, reluctance to address health concerns stems from fear or embarrassment. Your understanding and encouragement can make a significant difference.
If your partner is reluctant, you can still seek professional advice yourself. Doctors have ways and strategies to counsel you appropriately without making assumptions that will perpetuate the issue. They can offer insights and potential solutions that you might not have considered, ensuring you don’t feel stuck in an endless cycle of blame.
I understand your frustration and the feeling of being tired after trying to seek help multiple times. It’s exhausting to feel like you’re the only one putting in the effort. However, the aim here is not to burden you further but to encourage a shift in perspective. While it might seem unfair, taking self-accountability in this situation can empower you to find new avenues of support and solutions.
The “further help” I’m suggesting involves seeking guidance for yourself, not just for your partner. This means consulting a therapist or relationship coach who can provide strategies for managing your feelings of neglect and sex starvation. They can help you navigate the emotional complexities of this situation and offer practical advice on how to communicate your needs effectively.
The goal is to empower you to take control of your own well-being. Feeling tired and frustrated is natural, but staying in that state won’t solve the problem. By focusing on what you can do and seeking professional guidance, you can find new ways to address the issues and improve your relationship, even if that means making difficult decisions to leave the relationship. Holistic and non-emotionally driven support is key.
Tip 3: Foster a Culture of Open Communication
In many marriages, silence around sensitive topics like sex starvation and erectile dysfunction can deepen your heartache. Creating a safe space for your partner to communicate their version of the concern is vital. It also provides you with the opportunity to express your concerns. Do it in that order. This encourages you and your partner to share your thoughts without judgment. It’s easier said than done, but it’s the best way to get what you want.
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. By taking self-accountability in facilitating open communication, you not only address immediate issues but also strengthen trust and emotional connection with your partner. This trust-building process involves more than just speaking about problems.
Addressing issues like sex starvation and ED requires sensitive and effective communication.
Like I said, It’s about acknowledging the emotions, feelings and fears before suggesting unfounded solutions such as ED and blood pressure drugs, non-regulated herb mixes, sex toys, and imposing sexual activities that will create more awkward energy in your marriage. Some of these things might help, but seek wise counsel first.
Once you know what you are doing with regards to the broken-down communication, you can start the conversation by acknowledging the difficulty of the topic. This shows that you recognize the sensitivity of the issue and respect their feelings. When your partner sees that you are genuinely trying to understand their perspective without judgment, they are more likely to open up.
Pay attention to what they are saying without interrupting or preparing your response. This level of attentiveness shows that you value their input and are committed to finding a lasting solution together. Once they have shared, express your own feelings in a similar, respectful manner. Handle interjections with grace and not judgment.
By practicing these communication techniques, you create an environment where both partners feel heard and understood. This not only helps in resolving the immediate issue, sex starvation (or ED if it ends up being an issue), but also lays the groundwork for addressing future challenges in a constructive and loving manner. Open communication fosters a partnership based on mutual respect and understanding, which is crucial for a thriving marriage.
No disrespect intended, but your tone and approach in discussing this topic indicates how you would handle these types of sensitive issues. Assess yourself. Is it enough if you were on either side of this situation?
Tip 4: Cultivate Empathy and Understanding
Understanding your partner’s perspective is key to resolving conflicts. Empathy allows you to see beyond surface issues and delve into underlying emotions. It’s about being there for your partner, especially during challenging times. While it can be difficult, it is highly rewarding.
Instead of dwelling on fault-finding, focus on what you can bring to collaborative solutions. Empower your partner to take proactive steps towards mutual happiness and fulfillment in your marriage.
Recognize that your partner might be dealing with unspoken fears or insecurities. For instance, your husband might avoid addressing ED due to embarrassment or fear of inadequacy. Approaching the situation with empathy helps alleviate these fears and allows you to work towards a solution together.
Remember, without adequate support, it can be challenging to cultivate empathy. A valid question arises: who is taking care of you? Ensure you also seek support and guidance to maintain your well-being while nurturing your relationship.
Tip 5: Embrace Growth and Adaptability
Marriage and intimacy will evolve over time, and so will the challenges you face. Embrace these opportunities for personal and relational growth. Learn from setbacks, adapt to new circumstances, and focus on evolving together as a couple.
Every challenge is a chance to learn and grow stronger as a team. By embracing change and learning from experiences, you create a resilient and fulfilling marriage. Don’t wait for your partner all in the name of “it takes two to tango.” Start by working on yourself and your mindset.
Adopting a growth mindset means seeing problems as opportunities to learn and grow. This perspective helps in dealing with issues constructively and ensures that you evolve as your partner is evolving, making the marriage stronger and more resilient.
This conversation is bigger than just sex starvation and erectile dysfunction.
It’s about how you handle conflict and crisis in your marriage. It’s easier said than done; granted. But it has to be done.
Your goal is a united front. You can’t achieve that by focusing on fairness and assigning blame. You will create better results assuming best case scenario, default fairness, self abundance and then offering something out of your self abundance. If you don’t have enough to claim self-abundance, work on that first.
Remember, your marriage is a journey filled with ups and downs. By embracing self-accountability, seeking professional guidance, fostering open communication, cultivating empathy, and embracing growth, you empower yourselves to navigate challenges and strengthen your bond.
It’s crucial to understand that when we talk about self-accountability, it doesn’t mean you should take all the blame or do all the work. If you have already sought help and your partner is still unwilling to address his ED, further self-accountability means making decisions for your own well-being. This might include setting boundaries, continuing therapy for yourself, or, in some cases, considering separation if your needs continue to be unmet. Self-accountability is about taking control of one’s own happiness and not being stuck in a situation that doesn’t change.
It’s also essential to avoid direct or indirect self-diagnosis of ED or any self-medication. There could be other underlying issues, such as low levels of sexual attraction. Seeking professional help independently can provide the wife with strategies and insights to address the situation without perpetuating the cycle of sex starvation.
Frequently Asked Question!
How long can guys go without sex?
The duration varies greatly among individuals and can be influenced by personal, psychological, and physical factors.
How to deal with sex starvation?
Address sex starvation by communicating openly with your partner, seeking professional guidance, and focusing on emotional before physical intimacy.
Is it healthy to go without sex?
It can be healthy to go without sex for periods, but long-term absence can affect emotional and physical well-being depending on individual needs and circumstances.
What happens when a man is sexually deprived?
Sexual deprivation in men can lead to increased stress, frustration, and potential relationship issues, highlighting the need for open communication and mutual understanding.
What is the simple trick to cure ED?
While there’s no single trick, addressing ED often involves lifestyle changes, medical consultation, and open communication with one’s partner.
How to solve erectile dysfunction problem?
Solving erectile dysfunction typically requires a combination of medical intervention, lifestyle adjustments, and addressing any underlying psychological issues.
How to reverse erectile dysfunction?
Reversing erectile dysfunction can involve medical treatments, lifestyle changes like exercise and diet, and addressing psychological factors with professional help.
How can a wife help her husband with ED?
A wife can support her husband by encouraging medical consultation, fostering open communication, and maintaining emotional intimacy and understanding.
Why don’t I feel sexually attracted to my partner anymore?
Loss of sexual attraction can result from various factors, including stress, changes in relationship dynamics, or personal health issues.
Is it normal to lose attraction for your partner?
Yes, it’s normal for sexual attraction to fluctuate in a relationship due to various life changes and stresses.
Is it normal to not be attracted to your partner all the time?
Yes, it is normal not to feel constant attraction; maintaining intimacy involves ongoing effort and communication.
Why is my sexual attraction so low?
Low sexual attraction can stem from stress, health issues, relationship dynamics, or psychological factors, often requiring introspection and professional guidance.
When we talk about how to fight for a marriage, we’re not talking about throwing punches but rather standing up for what truly matters in building the healthy relationship you crave so badly.
Fighting for your marriage involves understanding the principles that keep a relationship thriving and those that can cause a breakdown.
It’s about creating a deep connection and recognizing the ebb and flow within your relationship. Learning to navigate these waters with grace is essential. It’s about understanding your partner’s needs and desires on a fundamental level and using that knowledge to foster a deeper bond.
We must also acknowledge the role of inner growth. Cultivating a strong sense of who you are and how you interact with your partner is key. It’s about honing the ability to perceive and manage your own emotions, as well as those of your spouse.
This journey is not just about fixing the other party’s problems but focusing on your own growth, learning from your partner despite any resentment, and building a more resilient and fulfilling life with or without your present partner.
Currently, we are helping five different clients who have dealt with partners exhibiting abusive behaviors for over a decade. What we found is that these behaviors were sometimes intentional and other times due to ignorance. Imagine having to explain this shift in fighting for a marriage when they’ve been the victim.
It’s challenging, but it becomes manageable when we help them envision a clear path for the present into the future. It’s worth it to do the work beyond assigning blame, shaming, judgment, and condemnation.
So, let’s dive in and explore what it really means to fight for your marriage and how you can apply these principles to create a stronger, more connected relationship.
1. Shifting Perspectives: Fighting Together, Not Against Each Other
When things get tough in marriage, our first instinct might be to fight with our spouse. But Ephesians 6:12 reminds us that our battle isn’t against each other—it’s against deeper, spiritual challenges. So, instead of seeing each other as adversaries, let’s shift our focus to seducing and influencing our partner towards tackling challenges together.
This shift involves more than just changing how you view your partner; it requires you to understand and apply principles that foster genuine connection. When you approach your marriage with the mindset of working together, you begin to appreciate the subtleties of your partner’s behaviors and intentions. You become more attuned to the cues that signify deeper needs and desires, allowing you to respond in ways that strengthen your bond.
Feeling like a victim is valid, but navigating the complexities of your relationship with sensitivity can transform conflicts into opportunities for growth, both individually and as a couple. Recognizing the ebb and flow within your marriage helps balance interactions, ensuring that you feel heard and valued. This approach not only prevents misunderstandings but also builds a foundation of trust, love, and respect that you deserve.
When you focus on understanding your partner’s perspective, you develop a greater capacity for empathy and compassion. This means actively listening and engaging with their concerns, which can de-escalate potential conflicts and create a supportive environment.
Ultimately, this perspective shift allows you to move beyond surface-level disputes and address underlying spiritual and emotional challenges. It encourages growth individually and as a couple, fostering a relationship that is resilient, fulfilling, and deeply connected. Embrace this approach and start fighting for your marriage by working together, not against each other.
2. The Role of Space and Separation
Now, sometimes taking a step back can feel like giving up, but it can actually be a strategic move. Separation doesn’t have to mean the end—it can give both partners the clarity and space needed to work on themselves and their marriage. It’s about using this time wisely, not as a way to avoid problems but as a way to come back stronger.
When you step back, it allows you to reassess your relationship dynamics and your role within them. For example, imagine a couple who decides to take a short break to reflect on their issues. During this time, they each focus on…
Understanding their own emotional triggers and patterns of behavior.
One partner might realize they have been overly critical due to unresolved past issues, while the other may see that their withdrawal stems from a fear of confrontation.
Using this time apart, they can work on addressing these personal challenges individually. When they reunite, they bring newfound insights and emotional growth into the relationship, leading to more constructive communication and a deeper connection. This approach not only helps to resolve current conflicts but also equips the couple with better tools to handle future challenges.
By intentionally creating space for reflection and growth, you can transform what seems like a step back into a powerful move forward, ultimately strengthening your bond and enhancing the overall health of your relationship.
3. Spiritual and Emotional Battles
In our own journey, my wife and I realized that fighting for our marriage meant battling not just our own misunderstandings but also spiritual and emotional forces that can weaken any relationship. It’s about strengthening our resilience to withstand these challenges together.
For instance, during a particularly difficult conflict, my wife visited a church where she was told by a prophet that she was meant to marry someone else. At the time, we already had two kids. This prophecy lingered in her mind, creating doubt and tension between us. This external influence contributed to a significant breakdown in our marriage. I initially thought my wife was just being stubborn, unaware of the deeper battles she was facing.
During our separation, I learned to focus on understanding my own role in our conflicts and how my actions impacted my wife.
I approached our disagreements with a desire to understand rather than to win. Over time, we rebuilt trust and established a new foundation for our relationship, one that was more resilient and deeply connected. We emerged stronger and more united.
Embracing this approach can help any couple navigate the spiritual and emotional battles that threaten their relationship, ultimately leading to a more enduring and fulfilling partnership. However, it often requires one partner to start the journey first, rather than trying to drag the other to therapy or counseling. Starting the work on yourself can lead to more genuine progress and avoid the pitfalls of arguments and superficial solutions in joint sessions.
4. Understanding Resistance and Accountability
Often, when clients come to us saying, “My spouse won’t fight,” it usually boils down to a deeper issue of awareness and accountability. Fighting for your marriage requires both partners to take responsibility for their actions and emotions, which can be tough but essential for growth.
The trick is, it doesn’t have to start with both of you simultaneously. Many people on social media fall into the trap of waiting for the other person to take equal responsibility, leading to an endless cycle of blame. Instead, one partner can initiate the change by taking proactive steps to improve the relationship.
For example, let’s consider a couple where one partner feels neglected because the other is always on their phone. Instead of waiting for their partner to notice the issue, the concerned partner could start by expressing their feelings in a calm and understanding manner. They might say, “I’ve noticed that we spend less time talking because of our phone usage. I miss our conversations and would love for us to reconnect more.” By addressing the issue without blame and suggesting a positive change, they create an environment where their partner feels understood and is more likely to respond positively.
This approach leverages subtle influence and personal growth to encourage the other partner to reflect and adjust their behavior. By starting the work on yourself and demonstrating accountability, you can foster an atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding. This, in turn, can lead to a more sustainable and lasting solution for your marriage.
Ultimately, embracing personal growth and responsibility can transform your relationship, making it stronger and more resilient. So, instead of waiting for your partner to change, take the initiative to improve your marriage and set the stage for a deeper, more fulfilling connection.
5. Tools for Fighting Effectively
So, how do you practically fight for your marriage? It starts with communication, understanding, and a willingness to seek help when needed. Whether it’s through coaching or reading books like ours (which you can download for free at this link), these tools can strengthen your bond and help you navigate challenges in your marriage.
We met Debbie a few years ago when her marriage was on the brink of collapse. She and her husband had been arguing constantly, trust had been shattered by infidelity, and she was considering divorce. Debbie had tried everything—heartfelt conversations, therapy sessions, and even suggestions for joint activities—but nothing seemed to get through to her husband. Feeling desperate and alone, she sought professional help.
Debbie reached out us and started by reading our recommended books.
This initial step sparked a change in her approach, providing new insights and strategies for dealing with her marital issues even though she had already checked out. Encouraged by the progress, she decided to engage in ongoing coaching sessions with us.
Over the next 9 months, Debbie diligently applied the techniques learned from our books and coaching. She focused on herself first, improving communication, rebuilding trust, and understanding her husband’s perspective—a very difficult phase indeed. Slowly but surely, her efforts began to pay off. The husband who was once a distant asshole as she put it, started to open up, and the couple began to reconnect on a deeper level.
With our continuous support and guidance, they navigated the complexities of their relationship, transforming their once broken marriage into a strong and loving partnership. By leveraging the tools and resources we provided, they achieved a level of intimacy, love, and respect they never thought possible.
Consider sharing this video with your coach to help implement these strategies in your marriage. If you don’t have a coach, reach out to us for a complimentary coaching session. Having a coach provides personalized support and guidance, making the challenging task of fighting for your marriage much easier.
Fighting for your marriage is not the easiest task to take on, especially when it feels like you’re doing it alone. But with the right tools, a proactive approach, and the support of a personal coach, you can begin to mend and strengthen your relationship. By investing in these resources, you create a resilient, loving partnership capable of withstanding even the toughest challenges.
Remember, fighting for your marriage isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it. By focusing on spiritual unity, emotional growth, and adequate support, you can build a marriage that withstands the tests of time. So, let’s redefine what it means to fight—for love, for understanding, and for a future together.
Even if you’ve decided to move forward without your present partner, you will need this for as long as you are marriage-minded regardless of your present relationship status.
Frequently Asked Question!
What are the signs of a failing marriage?
Constant arguments, shattered trust, and consideration of divorce are key signs of a failing marriage.
How do you fix your marriage when it’s falling apart?
Start by improving communication, understanding your partner’s perspective, and seeking professional help if needed.
How to biblically fight for your marriage?
Shift your focus from battling your spouse to tackling deeper challenges together, as taught in Ephesians 6:12.
How to save your marriage when it seems impossible?
Leverage personal growth, proactive communication, and the support of coaching or counseling to rebuild trust and connection.
Do you have relationship problems? It’s probably your partner’s fault and super-easy to just blame them. But you probably also “lack game”. Let’s find out.
Back when Kayode and Sharon were newlyweds, life was a whirlwind of love and excitement. They moved into a cozy apartment in Houston, full of dreams and plans for their future together. Every weekend, they would explore the city, discovering new restaurants, attending music festivals, and enjoying their shared love for adventure.
But as time went on, the honeymoon phase began to fade.
Kayode got a promotion at work, which meant longer hours and more stress. Sharon, who had always been a social butterfly, started feeling lonely and neglected. Kayode started feeling unappreciated for his hard work. Their once-vibrant relationship turned into a series of routine arguments and silent dinners. The spark that brought them together seemed to be dimming.
Kayode felt overwhelmed and frustrated, often bringing his work stress home. Sharon, on the other hand, felt isolated. She missed the days when Kayode would surprise her with little notes or take her out on spontaneous dates. The emotional distance grew, and their arguments became more frequent and intense. Sharon felt like she was living with a stranger, and Kayode felt like he couldn’t do anything right.
According to Sharon, Kayode used to be a loving, attentive husband, but the pressures of work and life made him distant and irritable.
Sharon was trying to escape loneliness and disconnection. They were both running from the reality that their relationship was in trouble. The more they tried to avoid the issues, the more they drifted apart.
One evening, after a particularly heated argument, Sharon confided in her best friend, who suggested enrolling in the Prestige Marriage Academy. Sharon scoffed at the idea, feeling like she had tried everything and was ready to file for divorce.
Sharon’s friend managed to share a Man of Prestige happy hour livestream with her. In that livestream, she heard me using the word GAME and was taken aback. She thought, “this is my real life and not a game.”
Today, we’re diving into something a little playful but incredibly profound – it’s called G.A.M.E. Now, before you start thinking we’re talking about playing games in your relationship, let me clarify.
I understand that you might view G.A.M.E. as not the most empowering way to approach a romantic relationship.
It may seem manipulative rather than fostering a genuine connection. I get it. But love is playful and not always serious. Lighten up!
Environments that are too serious can stifle and smother romance, especially in marriage. G.A.M.E. is a term used by young people to describe the ability to naturally attract and nurture romantic attraction. It means having the finesse to bag who they want. We are showing you that these influence and seduction skills can be learned. I encourage you to focus on the context here. This context involves giving value to your partner in a way that they can reciprocate your desires.
The context is about whether “you’ve got game” or not, not about “playing games or tricks” as some dictionary meanings might suggest. It’s about being the best version of yourself and bringing that into your relationship. It’s about your ability to create a positive, loving environment where your partner can thrive, especially in crisis or conflict.
G.A.M.E. is about cultivating essential skills for a strong, enduring romantic relationship. It’s all about G for Gratitude, A for Ability, M for Mindfulness, and E for Empathy. So, grab a seat, maybe a cup of tea, and let’s chat about how you can level up your game!
G for Gratitude: The Power of Appreciation
First up, we have Gratitude. It’s the art of appreciating what you have, paying more attention to and recognizing the positive aspects of your life, especially your relationship. When you focus on the good, it enhances your happiness and strengthens your bond with your partner. What you focus on expands; it’s part of the secrets of attraction.
Why is Gratitude Important?
Gratitude shifts your focus from what’s lacking to what you already have. This simple shift can make a world of difference in your relationship. When you appreciate your partner and the things they do, it creates a positive feedback loop. They feel valued and are more likely to continue those behaviors that make you happy. If you are familiar with the parable of talents in the scriptures, it’s the same concept. It steals your focus away from being a victim to engaging your influence and seductive powers. Gratitude is also the first core pillar in our proprietary 3 core pillars, G.P.S. namely, God/Gratitude, purpose, and self. Obviously, we are not talking about extreme cases of abuse. Talk to your coach and they should be able to tell you if you are in an extreme case or not.
Here are 3 Ways to Practice Gratitude:
Daily Reflection: Take a few minutes each day to reflect on what you appreciate in your life and relationship. Be intentional with this more so than your intentionality around setting boundaries and detecting narcissistic behaviors. Most people are busy playing the game of defense only. There is no game you can win by simply playing defense, particularly against your partner who should actually be on your team. Think about your partner’s qualities, shared experiences, and even the small gestures that made you smile. That’s how to play offense against the forces that are attacking relationships these days; not your partners as most people do, seemingly rightfully, since they are the ones that seem to offend you the most.
Gratitude Journal: Write these reflections down. Keeping a gratitude journal helps you remember and cherish these moments.
Express Appreciation: Don’t just keep it to yourself. Tell your partner what you appreciate about them. A simple “Thank you for making dinner, it was delicious” can go a long way. A simple “Thank you for being my rock, I appreciate you” goes a long way.
Next, we have Ability. This is all about continuous personal growth. Striving to become the best version of yourself without pressuring your partner to change in the name of “it takes two to tango”. Tango is a dance right? It’s okay if you start dancing and invite your partner into a dance too. Your growth not only enhances your self-confidence but also makes you a more attractive and fulfilling partner.
Why is Ability Important?
When you focus on your personal development, you bring more to the table in your relationship. You become more confident, more interesting, and more engaged. Confidence is sexy to all genders. This, in turn, attracts a more compatible partner and strengthens the connection you already have.
Here Are 3 Ways to Enhance Your Ability:
Identify Areas for Improvement: Take a good look at yourself; the mirror. What skills, habits, or aspects of personal well-being could use some work?
Set Goals: Once you’ve identified areas for improvement, set realistic and achievable goals. It could be anything from learning a new hobby to improving communication skills.
Learn from Your Partner: Your partner is a great source of inspiration and knowledge. Be open to learning from their experiences and perspectives. That doesn’t mean agreement.
This is easier said than done. If you are in the middle of a crisis or conflict, it will be difficult for you to level up your game. Talk to your coach. Running away from a relationship is often not helpful as your problem follows you everywhere like the shadow that it is.
Moving on to Mindfulness. This is about being fully present in the moment, fostering a deep connection with your partner. It’s about appreciating shared experiences and deepening intimacy.
Why is Mindfulness Important?
Mindfulness helps you to truly connect with your partner. It allows you to appreciate the little moments that make up your relationship. So it’s very much congruent with Gratitude. Being mindful means you’re more likely to respond rather than react, especially during conflicts. Think about it. When it comes to engaging your power, you have to be mindful and intentional. When it comes to being a victim, sure others can victimize you, but you just need to feel like a victim to be one. Which would you rather be when you have an option?
Here Are 3 Ways to Practice Mindfulness:
Mindfulness Exercises: Engage in practices like meditation, deep breathing, and even prayer. I am not talking about typical Nigerian “kill the witches” ways of prayer. That’s being a perpetual victim. I pray you won’t have to yield to that. I am talking about staying grounded and present.
Active Listening: When your partner is talking, really listen to understand. When you can, put away distractions like phones and focus on what they’re saying.
Be Present: During your time together, be fully present. Enjoy your partner’s company by showing interest in their expressions without the constant interruptions of daily life.
E for Empathy: Understand and Share Feelings
Last but certainly not least, we have Empathy. This is the ability to understand and share your partner’s feelings. It’s about building trust and creating a safe space for authentic expression from your partner.
Why is Empathy Important? Empathy builds a strong emotional bond between partners. It fosters trust and makes your partner feel understood and valued. This is crucial for any healthy relationship.
Here Are 3 Ways to Cultivate Empathy:
Active Listening Again: Should you be reading minds? No. Just pay attention to your partner’s words and beyond; their emotions. Try to understand their perspective.
Validate Emotions: Acknowledge your partner’s feelings without judgment. Let them know their emotions are valid.
Nonverbal Cues: Pay attention to body language and other nonverbal signals. These can provide deeper insight into your partner’s feelings.
So, there you have it – G.A.M.E. in a nutshell. By focusing on Gratitude, Ability, Mindfulness, and Empathy, you can establish a strong foundation for a lasting romantic relationship. Remember, a strong relationship requires effort from your partner as well, but leveling up on your own G.A.M.E. can positively influence the dynamic and inspire your partner to reciprocate in ways that you desire.
So, take these principles to heart and start cultivating your G.A.M.E. today. Your relationship will thank you for it! And remember, I’m always here to help you along the way. If you need more tips or personalized advice, don’t hesitate to reach out by clicking here
Over there, you can also download our two books for free: “Get My Marriage Back” and “#1 Red Flag.”
Keep playing the game of love with gratitude, ability, mindfulness, and empathy. You’ve got this!
Frequently Asked Question
How can I strengthen my marriage?
Strengthen your marriage by practicing gratitude, continuous personal growth, mindfulness, and empathy through the principles of G.A.M.E.
How can I improve the quality of my marriage?
Improve your marriage by focusing on appreciation, personal development, being present, and understanding your partner’s emotions.
How do you rebuild a failing marriage?
Rebuild a failing marriage by embracing gratitude, enhancing personal abilities, practicing mindfulness, and cultivating empathy, as outlined in G.A.M.E.
What are the tips to solve relationship problems?
Practice gratitude, focus on personal growth, be mindful and present, and cultivate empathy.
What is the hardest time in a relationship?
The hardest time in a relationship is often when the honeymoon phase fades, and partners feel overwhelmed and neglected.
How to deal with relationship issues?
Address relationship issues by focusing on your own growth, practicing mindfulness, and showing empathy toward your partner.
How to fix a failing relationship?
Fix a failing relationship by enrolling in resources like the Prestige Marriage Academy to learn and apply the principles of G.A.M.E. (Gratitude, Ability, Mindfulness, and Empathy).
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