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“Is PHYSICAL A Worse Offense Than EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY?”📍 John Gray

Question: “Is PHYSICAL A Worse Offense Than EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY?”

So John Gray got caught basically, and there is a video of him coming out talking to a side chick about his wife…

that the wife only gives pizza to the babies for dinner.

I don’t understand why men put their wives down.

Who cares if your wife is feeding you pizza in the house?

If you don’t like it you get in the kitchen or if you had a problem with that, why didn’t you talk to me?

Maybe I am not the easiest to talk to, but then maybe you can get yourself in the kitchen or come up with ideas…

Like getting a chef that would cook for us on a daily basis.

On one of John Gray’s Videos he said:

“This was not physical or sexual. I’ve only ever been with one woman, that is my wife.”

What do we have to say about that?

Saying that he is not physical but he is emotional, what difference does he make?

You are talking to another woman and being emotional is just like you already slept with a person…

because everywhere that your wife has been with you, they get to experience that.

You have bared your heart to this person.

Is Physical a worse offense than emotional infidelity?

If you have an emotional affair and that’s all you did and then you got caught, dude you missed out.

You might as well sleep with the person because you are going to receive equal amounts of scrutiny.

It’s just as bad.

You are going to hurt that person just as much, if not more because now you are going to be telling her that “I’ve never slept with this person”.

Now they are gonna look at you like a liar because they will never believe you.

They will punish you that much more because they are thinking in their head “no you already slept with this person”.

I mean honestly how would they know?

They weren’t there with you.

So if you were already sharing intimate conversations with your side chick and trying to bring her to the same hotel where you and your wife would go…

You might as well just have slept with the lady so you could just say “you know you are right. I slept” so you could get away quickly…

PREVIOUS POST: “What Do You Do When Someone REJECTS Your APOLOGY?”📍 John Gray

And maybe she will accept your apology a lot faster.

You are in the worst place when you truthfully haven’t slept with that person.

It’s the truth but she is not gonna believe you and your punishment will be twice.

So if you are going to apologize at all, the last thing you want to bring up is “it wasn’t physical”.

Dude, it doesn’t matter if it was physical or not… and pastor John Gray should know better.

Bottom line is that you are exchanging these intimate moments that are only designed for you and your wife… you broke that trust.

It’s the trust that you broke, that is the issue and not what really happened physically.

She doesn’t care if you slept with that person or not.

In fact, you putting that in the midst of your apology is making things worse.

So, Is Physical a worse offense than emotional infidelity?

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If that’s the question, it’s backwards… emotional is worse because you are going to get punished that much.

Even in terms of wasting all that energy on emotion, you might as well just go all in.

Once you start lusting after that, you have already sinned.

John Gray needs to get it together when it comes to that and I understand the pressure of being a pastor and also being human…

But that’s the part where you couldn’t stop walking.

The pressure has to be a lot more because he is a pastor.

And then he was saying that his wife does not feed them anything else but pizzas…

Come on, why are you saying these things about your wife?

Why are you painting your wife bad?

Is it to get empathy from your side chick or something?

I don’t understand.

This is common in some men, I won’t say all men because not all men do that…

some men, they will trash their wife just so they can get sympathy pussy.

If you have to trash one woman to get another woman, you don’t have a gain and you are a sorry case.

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That’s something that even young men who are not necessarily married should know.

Like if you broke up with somebody, always be good to them because they came into your life for a reason, you chose them.

So when you start speaking bad of them, you are speaking of yourself.

Like I said, it’s a lack of gain when you do that.

But some people are in a weak place, when they are engaged in an emotional affair.

Like a lot of people until they bring a baby into this world, they actually always had no intention of doing it.

If the devil approaches us with intentions, all of us will be perfect if we just make sure we have good intentions right.

Good intentions are overrated for a reason because the devil knows like “you don’t have that intention, but you are lacking emotionally somewhere”

so he is going to bring someone who is going to fill that gap.

Then when that person fills that gap, you are still gonna be in denial like, “no I would never do that”

… and just wait and wait and wait until you are comfortable enough and admit that it really did happen.

“What Do You Do When Someone REJECTS Your APOLOGY?”📍 John Gray

Question: “What do you do when someone rejects your apology?”

Say for example you have a spouse that is just hard headed, you have to give them time.

That’s just what it is.

When you say “I’m sorry” and they are like “No, get out of my face. I don’t wanna see you right now”,

… You have to respectfully remove yourself out of their face.

What do you want, do you want to be punched in the face?

You can’t force down an apology.

Clearly you did something that made this person very mad so you gotta give them time.

PREVIOUS POST: “How Do I Ask My Husband For FORGIVENESS?”📍 John Gray

Also, you don’t get to measure how big the thing is like “But at least I didn’t cheat”.

No you can’t say that.

It doesn’t matter how little the thing is because it’s really up to how that person feels.

That person may feel like this is a big deal that you left your shoes in the corner of the house,

…that could be annoying to them.

So, What do you do when someone rejects your apology?

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If someone rejects your apology it clearly means you are not listening.

Your apology was rejected because that person may be asking for something else.

They probably just want a little bit of time.

Sometimes it’s the behavior that will show that they have not accepted the apology or that they haven’t forgiven you.

That means time.

For how long, I don’t know.

That will depend on the person and where they are coming from.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

“How Do I Ask My Husband For FORGIVENESS?”📍 John Gray

Question: “How Do I Ask My Husband For FORGIVENESS?”

The same thing goes for this question though it’s a little bit different…

because clearly the person asking this question is admitting that they were wrong.

That’s why they are thinking of forgiveness.

It’s different from an apology.

Apology is like “I guess that’s what I need to do”.

Forgiveness is like “You know I F**ked up. How do I ask for forgiveness?”.

So, how can somebody ask for forgiveness from their husband?

… or is it easy for you to ask for forgiveness?

Well, for our natural self, it is hard to ask for forgiveness but asking for forgiveness will give us peace of mind.

Previous Post: “How Do I APOLOGIZE for HURTING My Wife?”📍 John Gray

First of all, you have to admit that you are wrong.

So maybe the real question is, “Is it easy for you to admit you are wrong?”…

Even that question is bastardized because if you are wrong, you know you are wrong.

If you are asking for forgiveness, you are already saying “I’m wrong.”

So asking for forgiveness when you already know you are wrong should be easy… but clearly it’s not easy because…

It depends on what you did and with the person you are with.

Some people are not forgiving.

You could ask for forgiveness and they would say “Okay I heard you…” but then they are not ready to forgive you just yet.

They are hurt and they can drag you for years for that.

So, how do you ask forgiveness to your husband?

The same thing with apology goes with asking for forgiveness.

Changed Behavior.

It’s changed behavior and let the person relax and let them process what just happened.

Don’t shove it down to their face.

You have to have a lot of patience if you are asking for forgiveness.

Lots of patience and generosity with time because the more time there is, the more they will be open to receiving what you have to say.

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And the good thing with that is, now you have time to back it over with your behavior.

Right?

Especially if your behavior has actually reflected that.

Though we don’t support you asking for forgiveness over and over again.

You have to do it one time.

Maybe once or twice and it’s done.

The rest has to be your changed behavior.

That’s what really matters.

But some people are just asking for forgiveness like “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” every small thing they’d say I’m sorry.

No…

You are making things worse and you are being annoying.

You need to know when you are being annoying.

So you have to give them time to process things.

Some people may have a hard time to forgive because it’s very hard for an average human being to forgive.

Once you hurt a person, it’s a trust issue.

It will be hard for him to open up again because you’ve built a wall in the future.

So for them to open up again you need time.

If you had a good time with this person in the past or anything like that, they will remember.

They will start reflecting if you stay out of their face.

But if you keep pushing to fix everything now… that will work against you.

Asking over and over again… let’s put into logic a little bit, if you do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result, that’s called insanity.

The same thing, like don’t think your apology is all suddenly going to fix things.

Forgiveness will require a lot of follow ups… even cheating, because even the follow ups are not apologizing.

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It’s really following up with your changed behavior.

Using your words is manipulative because you are trying to use the word to fix that person or to get them to forgive you right now.

And if it was that easy we can just pull forgiveness out of everyone.

So it takes time because we are spiritual.

There is a soul that has been tampered with and those kinds of things have to be healed.

It had to be repaired.

“How Do I APOLOGIZE for HURTING My Wife?”📍 John Gray

Question: “How do I apologize for hurting my wife?

John Gray is in the hot seat right now and is probably hoping that this whole thing will die down but he is not helping either because he issued an apology and I think we should play the apology first before we get into anything .

Here is John Gray’s apology:

I wanna take this moment to tell you I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the areas of my life that I left unattended. That I was apathetic about. The areas where I have treated the calling of God, the grace of God and a hand of God casually in my life. For every area of behavior that has dishonor the holiness of God, I wanna tell you I’m sorry. There have been a number of things and blogs, some of them accurate, some of it not…

His apology maybe is the right thing to do because he is a pastor in the church.

But talking to his wife, it just feels like it will cause more embarrassment.

For me, I don’t like the loud noise.

That’s bringing so much attention to us so in the moment we should shut it down.

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Let’s be quiet in the moment…

How do I apologize for hurting my wife?

What’s the right way to do that?

I don’t think you need to apologize to your wife in public… that can be done privately.

Apologizing in public is just an immediate reaction trying to save face, especially when the issues are so fresh right?

One thing you don’t want to do is feeding to the media,

… like right now they are talking about you and the next thing you wanna do is “Oh I’m sorry… blah blah blab

The natural thing to do is want to react so I feel that he should have just left that for the moment and deal with his issues privately.

Church, yes because he is a pastor and I understand that he needs to say something, but I don’t like the public.


Well maybe the wife likes that, or she prefers that, but I don’t know because there are different kinds of women.

Some women can be like “you know what you dragged me out there, then I want you to apologize to me publicly“.

For me personally it doesn’t help.

I always come from the standpoint of “you are right”.

If you think you are right, you are right!… like who am i?, I don’t have the right to tell you you are not right.

That’s applicable to everything in life including relationship, marriage, apologies or whatever.

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If you feel like the right thing for you to do is to apologize, then you are right…

Now is that going to create the result you want, that is the story that we really should be talking about.

See, if you are worried about whether it is the right thing to do or not, you are always right.

Whatever you feel is right is right.

Is that gonna create the result that you’re looking to achieve, that’s where the work is and that’s where a lot of people miss it.

With that being said, the only time it will be right for you to tender an apology to either a wife or husband or anybody is when that person is asking for it.

Why?

Because you listen, that person is asking for it.

So if the person is asking for it and you truly feel that you should apologize, and there is nothing wrong with apologizing but if you are tendering an apology as a form of reaction to being called out.

You just got called out… you did something wrong and you just want to fix it immediately for the misery to go away.

The first thing that goes to your mind is to say I’m sorry.

That I’m sorry is gonna do more hurt.

It can be considered manipulation because you are manipulating.

That apology will hurt more than it will help you create the result you are looking for.

So, How Do I APOLOGIZE for HURTING my wife?

Well, first of all the best apology is Changed Behavior.

That’s gonna take time so there’s time and patience involved.

That means they may not be willing to hear you out right now, the best thing you want to do is stay away from giving them your mouth in every way that you can think of.

You stay away from that.

Let things calm down.

Let things simmer before you give apologies.

That’s why the apology that John Gray gave is premature.

It cannot possibly be authentic because it’s a reaction form of apology…

but how do I apologize for hurting my wife?

Listen…

Changed Behavior.

Take your time.

If she asks for an apology, then you can tender that in the form of words but the best apology is not words.

Your apology in the form of words is a lot more useful when the person is asking for it.

Sexless Marriage ❤️ Does my Marriage Still Have a Chance⁉️

A Sexless marriage is a terrible experience for anyone to be going through; feeling unwanted, helpless, undeserving, and just hopeless.

But just like every other aspect of life, what doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger.

But with some knowledge and emotional wisdom as ammunition, you will become unstoppable…

So allow me to share some information to help you.

You can reverse that reality in your marriage especially if it’s emotionally driven.

Sexless Marriage and the Downsides.

If your Sexless Marriage is due to medical issues, seek the help of a medical professional.

Sex is the one thing that makes your marriage different from other types of relationship so you shouldn’t have to be stuck in the lack it.

So if you either feel that:

  1. Your Spouse Rejects sex with you all the time.
  2. Your Spouse Does not initiate sex enough with you OR….
  3. OR You are no longer sexually attracted to your spouse.

Essentially, nothing is broken with the 2 of you physically but the vibe is just never right for one or both of you;

It’s mental and I got you and you are not alone… but you need to act.

What percentage of sexless marriages end in divorce?

Studies show that 20% of marriage are sexless and you probably already know that 50% of all marriage unions end in divorce.

If I were you, I would be more scared of staying in an unhappy marriage than divorce itself; but anyway, you are not alone.

How long do sexless marriages last?

A sexless marriages can last forever.

That’s especially true when there are kids involved but more importantly,

You should consider your marriage sexless if you have not had sex in 3 months or more.

“Lack of sex” should be addressed at the 2 weeks mark if there are no visible, clear or medical reason.

Can a sexless marriage survive?

A sexless marriage can definitely survive but that doesn’t mean it’s the best way to live a quality life.

The real question is if you can reverse a sexless marriage and the answer is yes; especially if you have a good history of intimacy.

All you need is at least “one of you” to initiate that dance and with patience, your spouse will respond.

Sure it takes 2 to tango but there is a need for just one leader who wants to take the charge and follow these 4 steps.

  1. Look in the mirror.
  2. Focus on changed behavior (even if you had not offended your spouse, switching a few predictable behaviors up will make them wonder and increase attraction.)
  3. Look out for rekindling signs.
  4. Respond when you see signs.

Become a student of seduction; Seduction is not just sexual.

If you are the one who is not sexually attracted to your spouse,

That’s a symptom of underlying issues…

That is to say you should focus on fixing that.

So maybe there are behaviors that your spouse puts on that turns you off;

In that case, you can learn how to seduce your spouse to the way you desire him or her to behave.

For example, if she doesn’t clean after herself, your knee jerk reaction is to complain about it.

Instead of being predictable, you can actually seductively request that she cleans.

And when she does clean once in a while, tell her how sexy she looked while cleaning.

Use Reverse Psychology to Reverse Your Sexless Marriage

Here is the point, use seduction to highlight when your spouse does what you like and you will naturally get more of such moments.

If you are not having enough sex, seductively highlight when you do have sex

And refrain away from complaining when there is no sex for extended period of time.

What you focus on expands; negative or positive.

What happens in a marriage without intimacy?

There is a risk of at least one person wanting more intimacy

And that increases the chances of infidelity and just a bad lifestyle that comes with multiple sexual partners.

If you are experiencing this, you should be concerned even if you are the less affectionate partner.

It’s even worse if you have kids because you will teach them these bad behaviors; maybe unintentionally.

Click Here to Take the 2 Minutes Sexless Marriage Quiz

Below is a question for us to address with this lesson…

My Wife and I are in separation.

But we don’t sleep in the same room anymore.

Tried talking to her but she wants nothing to do with me anymore.

I messed up because I was insecure.

And I tried to talk to her and told her that I have changed.

Still no luck; does my marriage still have a chance.”

Enjoy the video.

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2 FREE Books Download - $197

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