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How To Handle Marriage Separation 💔 7 Tips

In this lesson, you will discover how to handle marriage separation in order to ultimately make the outcome most positive and fruitful regardless of how much pain you are dealing with.

I am sorry for whatever the reason is that you are relating to this extremely important topic; my understanding is that it’s never easy, simple, or blissful.

Most people don’t go into a marriage with the purpose or intentions of separating.  I would, however, argue that many are indirectly doing exactly that.  

I’ll explain.

We’ve got tons of separation and reconciliation stories we can share with you to emphasize some of the patterns we continue to share with you in these lessons.

But we want to extract this particular lesson from just 2 stories.  

As usual, all the advice we offer is easier said than done but they are worthwhile.

From the first story, Clara reported to us that her husband slept with someone else during separation and lied about it during and after reconciliation.

I know what you are thinking.

How could she ever possibly trust again?  She can actually. 

But wait.

We also have Christine who is worried that her children will hate her and their dad for separating.

Even though the kids have accepted her excuse for sleeping on the sofa (she told them “mommy needs her space”), she is afraid that they will start to recognize the lack of intimacy or affection at some point.

Honestly, that is probably the least of her issues.

While some may be good at hiding the pain, separation is never easy for either of the parties involved; husband or wife.

Many of today’s modern men and women lack the patience level required to see it that way because they want all the answers to life questions faster, logically, and now.

They often opt-in for pointing fingers at everything and everyone else.

So in today’s lesson, I want to point out 7 tips to help anyone in any phase of navigating separation in marriage in order to make the most out of it.

Let’s dive right into it.

Tip #7 – Rules & Boundaries.

PREVIOUS POST: 💔 How Many Marriages End In Divorce?

One of the tools professionally offered to help with separation are letters or contracts that state what the rules and boundaries are during this process.

But I want to emphasize more on the double edge nature of emphasis on rules and boundaries.

Of course, these are designed to not be crossed.  

But for quite a significant percentage of people, the emphasis on rules and boundaries tends to create attention for it and sadly, a heightened desire to cross them.

This is especially true when people are going through an experience that puts them in potentially the weakest space they’ve ever been in a lifetime.

So I want you to treat rules and boundaries with care especially during separation in marriage.

Actually, I’d rather you put more attention into yourself, self-esteem, self-worth, and understanding that the existing version of your marriage is over.

If you do decide to stay together, it should be a completely different version of your marriage.

It will make building trust a lot more easier because what happened with the other person during separation becomes less of a factor for the future.

I’m not saying this to encourage bad and sloppy behavior during separation but to encourage you to retain your much-needed power for your future with or without your present partner.

This is the tip for Clara whose husband slept with someone else during separation and lied about it.  

As far as I am concerned, it’s more so an old problem that was never solved.  

It’s an unrealistic expectation problem.  

When in separation from your marriage, anything should not go but it could because it usually would.  “Should“ is usually not the reality. 

Tip #6 – Why 

I want you to identify why you and/or your spouse have opted for separation in order to support the process with a purpose.

Any endeavor in life without an explicitly identifiable purpose is 100% destructive whether you know it or not.

Unfortunately, many people call for separation when they are in a confused state in an attempt to run away from pain or perceived pain.  

So they just leave things in the hands of fate.

Tip #5  – How Long Should You Stay Separated?

TRENDING: 5 Rules to Follow When Separation Starts to Work For Your Marriage💔

This part is also like an oxymoron.  

Let me explain.

When people want separation from a partner or the other way around, they are also and often caught up in their feelings to a large extent.

So the idea of setting a time or term on the process is almost an oxymoron because if they could do that, they would just fix the marriage.

But that’s why I am pointing it out.

If you want to make the most positive outcome from this often unpleasant experience, I want you to be intentional.

Starting with yourself, I want you to identify and determine how long you want to give this separation process before attempting a decision to stay together or move forward.

That will help tremendously with your personal self-esteem because of the element of certainty and put you more so in the driver’s seat.

Tip #4 – Death & Growth

There is no in-between.  

Your marriage is either dying or growing at any point in time.

I am aware that you probably already know this but I also know that in the mental space of a person going through a separation, a reminder is probably necessary.

You are welcome.

Tip #3 – The Effect of Separation On Children

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

Christine’s problem is not her children… that’s the least of her problems. 

The children, by default, will have their own trauma carried over into adulthood.

Of course, parents should not be adding on to that.  

But as you can see, Christine is adding on to it, maybe unknowingly, but for reasons best known to her by leaving her matrimonial bed for the couch.

She has her legitimate reasons; I’m sure.

It’s not what the kids are saying or hearing.  

It is much more like what they are watching, how they will subconsciously process and interpret them, their personality, their temperament, 2,000 other signals… 

And how they choose to live life as adults.

The only part of that you will be able to, not control but, influence is how you are living your life, maybe a little of what you say to them but more like how you nurture your marriage from what they can see.

So if you are not capable of nurturing your marriage without asking for space, they are seeing and learning that or the unhealthy and extreme opposite of that no matter how old they are. 

Speaking of space… 

Tip #2 – The Double-Edged & Deadly Nature of Space

While space can actually be a useful tool for mental health, it’s important to know that you are also creating a void and effectively allowing in other energy that may not necessarily be healthy.

Sure, you can eventually hold your partner accountable for any bad behavior or transgression during that separation process.  

It is worth noting that holding other adults accountable all by itself has massive limitations when it comes to romantic relationships and getting what you want. 

It has become pretty normal to ask for space in a marriage. 

But let’s all remember that 50% divorce rate, broken families, and fatherless children are also becoming the norm.

Tip #1 – Duty

I was talking to one of my boys who is in today’s dating market.  

He went ahead and told me in so many ways how modern women lack a sense of duty when it comes to the role of a wife.

This has been simply his experience and I don’t see that as an absolute truth. But I’ve also seen enough to know that this is true to a large extent.  

70-80% of divorces are initiated by women and it goes up to 90% for college and university-educated modern women.

I personally think that the breakdown in family leadership has contributed the most to these unpleasant statistics. 

But I also think it will help tremendously if men have the help of the modern women who want marriage and the family structure in bringing a sense of duty to the “table” while we also continue to address the leadership issues.

After all, both the men and women (and especially children who are the leaders of tomorrow)  benefit from the love and connection but also the long-term benefit of a family structure.  

Duty and not the momentary feelings have been responsible for all structures that stand the test of time.  

It’s time to work together, sadly, on the structure-building end of things.  

Sad because I think this is the sole responsibility of men particularly from a place of leadership with or without permission from women.

Nonetheless, a sense of duty will reduce the number of women running for the hills at the slightest instance of emotional difficulty in a marriage.

I want to encourage men to work on updating our family leadership skills for the 21st century; it’s pretty lazy to keep referencing the society from 100 years ago.  

And it is highly dangerous to count on women to intentionally bring a sense of duty into the family structure beyond just a bonus if that ever happens.

I don’t think a typical woman is capable of that.  I also subscribe to “never say never.”

So tell me in the comment area one additional bonus tip or question to help more people become better on the other end of separation in a marriage.  

We will be happy to create more videos around it.

Don’t forget to download your free book.

Get My Marriage Back at:

www.GetMyMarriageBack.com 

Also, check out the 30 minutes free coaching and discovery session that we will give you access to right after the download.

Hit the like button and check out the video on the screen for more information on how to rekindle and build an awesome marriage and legacy without being a simp or a pick-me.

10 Signs Your Wife Just Slept With Someone Else 💔

In this lesson, not only will you discover 10 signs that your wife just slept with someone else, you will also discover how to move in these trying and difficult times in your marriage.

The idea of wondering about your wife’s faithfulness has got to be an extremely painful process for you and I’m sorry.  But your life is about to change.

Real growth in life and as a man lies within this process. 

And it is completely up to you what you do with it after I share this information with you.

Initially, I never felt this way about my beautiful wife Lola.  

But once I started seeing some strange behavior I wasn’t used to from her, I started asking questions that led to opinions from strangers that she might be sleeping with someone else.

Of course, I did not buy into that because above all, we’ve always been best friends.

Entertaining such opinions from strangers is a dangerous place to be because you as a man would naturally take that information back to your wife in the form of vibes.

And it will only make things worse even if your wife is not sleeping with someone else.

Read our book GET MY MARRIAGE BACK for our full story.  For now, let’s dive into the 10 signs that supposedly implies that your wife has slept with someone else.

Sign #1 of 10 – She Doesn’t Want To Have Sex

PREVIOUS POST: Codependency In Marriage? 5 Actionable Steps💔

This sign, like all the other 9 signs I will be sharing with you, could mean 2  things.  And it’s completely up to you and your emotional intelligence level what you do with it.

It could mean that she doesn’t feel safe, secure and connection to you.  

When a woman doesn’t feel these 3 things, she will be dry in every sense you can imagine and she will not desire sex with you.

However if she is a cheater at heart, she may be sleeping with another person regularly and there’s only so much sex she can have right?  

Then may be, just may be, she’s already having sex with someone else.

Sign #2 – She Goes Straight For The Shower After Coming In

So not just once but repeatedly, you’ve noticed that every time your wife comes back into the house, she hits the shower right away.

Maybe you should ask her why.

Especially if she doesn’t work at the hospital during a pandemic or a soya bean oil factory; Those are some exceptions.

The worst case scenario which you should not be assuming is that she is trying to wash another man’s cologne off of her body as soon as possible.

If the worst case scenario resonates with you, ask yourself what those other issues in your marriage are.  Obviously, there are.

Sign #3 – She Lied About Her Whereabout

TRENDING: My Wife Is Never In The Mood Anymore 💔

You found out completely randomly recently that your wife heads somewhere else any time she claims to be going to one place.  

It wasn’t because you had been placing trackers on her phone or the car out of your own personal insecurities. 

Her just feeling the need to lie and hide her whereabouts as these secrets continue to be exposed without you looking for them reflects not just red flags… 

But also the fact that she may be a sloppy cheater who has slept with other people.

Sign #4 – Her Dress & Make Up Are Extra These Days

Many women go through early mid-life crisis where they may have felt lost in the hustle and bustles of life.  

The way they may show that is self improvement from a physical standpoint. 

You’ve made sure that you are not lacking the basic connection that a woman desires.

But then, she suddenly starts to dress and put on heavier make-up to work.  

She may be entertaining attention from a work husband who she may have been sleeping with.

Please note the “maybe’s”.

Sign #5 of 10 That Your Wife Has Slept With Someone else – She Suddenly Want To Take Girls’ Trips 

Why else would a wife need a girl’s trip especially with single girls outside of, maybe, the fact that women can get quite overwhelmed with home-making activities simultaneously with a career life?

Sign #6 – You Found Her Profile On A Dating App

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

Now, this is a cut-throat sign that if she hasn’t slept with someone else, she is at least planning to do so.  

This is also inappropriate unless she works for the dating app company and it was a test profile.

Sign #7 – She Password Coded Her Phone

You have, like you normally do, try to login into your wife’s phone but the old password doesn’t work.  You didn’t think much of it.

“Honey, what’s the new password?” “Why? Can you use your own phone?”  She replied to you.

Maybe she’s hiding something on her last text message regarding her sister’s love life; ladies conversations. 

Or a conversation about her sex last night with the side dude.

Food for thought.

Sign #8 – She Was Texting All Night

So when this happens in our marriage occasionally, I am usually next to her and she’s sharing what the text is all about with me as well.  

Also, whoever she is texting, (never other men) is also my friend but more so like her best friend from high school and college.  I usually feel safe.

If this is happening and you don’t feel safe, know who it is and she says nothing about the conversation, she was probably reminiscing a sex with a side dude (or woman.)

But maybe not.

Sign #9 – She Doesn’t Want PDA

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If your wife is ashamed of PDA (public display of affection) with you suddenly after a few years in the marriage, she probably doesn’t feel safe, secure and connection to you.

That’s a more likely reason.  

On the flip side, the unlikely reason (unless you’ve noticed 7 out of the previous signs I have just shared with you) is that she has just had an awesome mind blowing sex with someone else.

Question for you.  

What are you doing to attract your wife to desire having mind blowing sex with you and only you at least once a week?

Sign #10 of 10 That Your Wife Has Slept With Someone else – You Suspect Her

Let’s be honest.  

If you think that it must be true just because you suspect and just that reason only, you probably should avoid marriage and romance altogether.

There are obviously other questions you should be asking if you are that concerned about the possibility that your wife is sleeping with someone else.

So tell me in the comment area other related marriage topics or struggles you would like us to cover in our next video.

Don’t forget to download your free book

Get My Marriage Back at:

www.GetMyMarriageBack.com 

Also check out the 30 minutes free coaching and discovery session that we will give you access to right after the download.

Hit the like button and check out the video on the screen for more information on how to build an awesome marriage and legacy without being a simp or a pick-me.

5 “Lethal” Mistakes That Kills ATTRACTION To Your Husband💔

In this lesson, we are sharing 5 mistakes to avoid if you truly want to be attracted to your husband in a healthy, happy, and blissful way again.

So Samantha is at a place in her marriage right now, a marriage of 7 years, where she feels like things are spiraling out of control.

She claims that she really loves him but her description of the emotions playing out in their interaction indicates deflating attraction.

He is completely oblivious about the whole ordeal and she is just as afraid to communicate her feelings with him; actively protecting his feelings.

We have decided to extract some lessons out in the form of 5 mistakes that kill attraction further especially when you are already struggling in your marriage.

Mistake #5 – Self Diagnosing Your Husband

Here is one of the worst things you can do when you find yourself in a marriage that you consented to as an adult.

It is the act of labeling your spouse with all the negative psychological diagnoses you come across; labels such as narcissist, insecure, controlling, etc.

I understand it’s pretty easy to do because we all point fingers and have a difficult time holding the person in the mirror accountable especially when it is not obvious that we played a role.

The two parties played a role and it’s not about faults, rights, and wrongs.

It’s about attraction roles and you are better off assessing and analyzing this from a self-development and improvement standpoint first.

Blame, guilt, condemnation, and judgment work against attraction 100% of the time.

Mistake #4 – Confusing Patience with Lack Of Self Worth

PREVIOUS POST: Can This Marriage Be Saved? (5 Tips From Law of Attraction)💔

You’ve heard that patience is a major key in having a healthy level of tolerance and compromise necessary to sustain a marriage.

But I want you to know that everything, including water, can mess you up if you consume an overdose. So at what point is patience too much?

Significance is one of the 6 basic human needs.  

If your idea of patience is making you feel insignificant in your marriage over a long stretch of time, you are probably operating from a place of low self-worth, self-respect, and self-esteem.

Eventually, your marriage or an integral part of it will collapse; drained.

If you are experiencing this, it’s time to engage in self-development even before trying to fix your marriage.  It has a direct effect on feeling attracted to your husband again.

Mistake #3 – Confusing Space With Lack Of Intimacy

TRENDING: 5 Signs Your Husband Repulses You Sexually & What To Do

The fear of the unknown gets real when you come to the conclusion that some space is necessary for your mental health during a crisis in the marriage.

And your mental health is also necessary to create a healthy, romantic, and long-term relationship with your husband.

That’s what you want right? 

I know what you are thinking…

But what if you or your husband taste something (some strange forbidden fruit) during the separation that takes you to a point of no return? 

Scary….

There is also a second question.

How painful is the void you are already feeling in the present state of your marriage?

Now… Which fear is greater? 

Fear of the unknown or fear of living in a miserable “void” for the rest of your sustainable marital life; something will give eventually.

I want you to know that space and distance make the heart fonder; that’s precisely growing attraction and affection provided the damages are not too much before you embrace the necessity for space sometimes.

Mistake #2 – Feeling Embarrassed About A Struggling Marriage

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

Every marriage struggles at one point or the other. In fact, most marriages that you admire from the outside have one struggle or the other.

…with a lot… having one or two things to do with the underlying relationship.

You are not alone.

I also want you to know that all the long-term marriages that you admire from the outside (looking in) have been tested terribly and that’s precisely why they are now awesome.

There is literally nothing new with these marriage issues; focus on the healing you need to rebuild your attraction to your husband again.

Mistake #1 – Pouring Out Of An Empty Cup

FREE Book: GET MY MARRIAGE BACK

When you don’t make taking care of yourself a priority as a woman (even ahead of your children), the family eventually falls apart.

For a typical woman, the “nurturing” thing is natural instincts. I get it.

But we are also humans, which means, emotions, complexities, civilization, overthinking, narcissistic traits, insecurities are involved.

So you have to be careful on how you set priorities when it comes to what you choose to nurture and in what order.

I get it.  The marriage is falling apart so both parties should seek counseling or therapy… that’s BS because usually one person is disconnected.

This is one of the greatest mistakes that kill your attraction to your husband because he is likely to decline if he is just as oblivious as Samantha’s husband.

Then you will build more resentments towards him; effectively destroying attraction and sexual polarity in your marriage

Instead of seeking and crying for joint counseling, (which is usually a place where people waste time on pointing fingers)…

Engage in individual self-development, counseling, therapy or coaching first; check the mirror first; there may be a blindspot there.

If you feel we can help you personally, feel free to go to www.GetMyMarriageBack.com, download the free book, and book a free 30 minutes coaching session with us.

💔 5 Steps to Reverse “I Don’t Love You Anymore”

“I don’t love you anymore.” The point of no return right?

Chris did not see this one coming…

But with the amount of cases and marriage issues that we review from time to time, these issues do not just fall out of the skies.

So I asked Chris,

“Are you telling me that your wife has never complained before telling you she doesn’t love you anymore?”

Then he goes…

“I mean… she’s complained about a few minor things that were no big deals. Why are women inconsiderate with reality though?”

I asked him if he asked the question exactly like that to his wife. 

He went on and on about how she nagged constantly about quality time.

“So what do you want Chris?” I asked,

He said, “I need her to stop nagging because frankly, I’ve got bills to worry about.”

So I asked… “You don’t care about seducing her into falling in love with you again?”

“Seduction? What are we? Teenagers?”

And then I answered with another question…

“Do you want an answer to that or do you want to reverse this terrible experience with your marriage?”

Like many people in modern marriages, Chris is confused and we want to share the 5 steps we shared with him to reverse 

“I don’t love you anymore.”

My name is LOLA and I am the co-author of the book

GET MY MARRIAGE BACK 

…with my husband OLA

…which you can download for free at:

www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

You will also see an opportunity to book a coaching session with us.

This is OLA

Step 1 – Accept It

PREVIOUS POST: 💔 5 Steps To Dealing With a Disrespectful Wife

The usual confusion here is when people feel like accepting reality equals agreement to being wrong or to the experience they are trying to avoid.

If you feel this way, you are essentially focused on the wrong thing.

You would be actively defending yourself but not your relationship.

The reason why you should accept reality is because it is reality; it simply is.

It will also conclude this phase of the present funk a lot quicker than being stubborn about nothing.

I know like most people, you probably have a corrupted version of reality.

Can you at least accept the reality of the fact that your partner just expressed that they are no longer in love with you?

When your spouse comes to you and tells you he or she is no longer in love with you, the easiest route to take for most humans is to get defensive.

So it’s key in this key moment to rise above the norm and by doing so, your spouse will wonder and that’s the equivalent to building attraction back.

That is a scientific fact.

Accept it because frankly, you cannot claim that your spouse had not been complaining if your case is like the typical cases that we review daily.

Simply respond with…

“I understand. Let me know if and when you are ready to talk and work on it.”

This is easier said than done but it works like magic.

Step 2 – Listen

Most people have talked their spouse to death of attraction all in the name of communication.

The purpose of listening is not just to hear your spouse out.  It’s a lot more spiritual and deeper than hearing.

In fact, the purpose is to make him or especially her feel heard and safe again.

So for step 2, I want you to listen with an intention to seduce and make him or her feel heard.

I want you to mimic what your spouse is saying back to him or her like this.

“So I am hearing you say, you feel I haven’t been as considerate as I used to be?

Tell me more… Really… wow”

You are effectively investing interest into your partner that they will inevitably return back to you in folds in time.

If your spouse is especially used to you often feeling attacked and defensive, this will create a new and exciting dynamic to make them wonder what is happening.

That’s equivalent to seduction and building attraction back up.

Effective seduction and communication is 80% active listening, 10% ensuring understanding with your words and 10% sharing how you feel.

If your spouse doesn’t feel heard, they are simply not capable of truly hearing how you feel anyway.

I know what you are thinking.

“So my feelings don’t matter?”

Step 3 – Identify Why

TRENDING: 15 Warning Signs Your Wife Doesn’t Love You & How to Attract Her Back ❤️

The worst thing you want to do is get stuck in your feelings and apply too much energy into reacting to your feeling (the symptom) and abandoning the underlying disease right?

We also know that you are in love or obsession because rejection breeds obsession.  This is a scientific fact again.

When a person says to you that they are no longer in love with you, it’s easy to interpret that as the absence of love because it feels like a smack to the face.

This experience can also give you an illusion that you are in love. 

The in-Love experience is more of a “feeling” of affection… even if your spouse is telling you straight up that they hate you.

That is still an expression of passion and evidence of caring… at least about something that involves the both of you.  

What you don’t want is for your spouse to be indifferent.

That will be the true point of no return.

So it is actually natural that a person that may have been with you over a period of time will occasionally fall in and out of love.

How much more if he or she has been complaining of bad experience at any level over a period of time?

If your spouse is a human being like the rest of us, falling out of love is actually very natural especially if they’ve not been feeling heard or significant in your relationship.

It may even have nothing to do with you.

Falling out of love is just how he or she feels “at this moment”. 

Avoid making it a bigger deal than it is.

Instead, assess the data you collected during your listening exercise and focus on identifying the “why” and the role you played in deteriorating the attraction level in your marriage.

Remember, it’s not a matter of FAULT… This is seduction.

I have to share the 2 most important steps with you. 

But note that in the next lesson, I will share more about seduction, effective listening, collecting data and turning them to useful information (a.k.a THE WHY).

So be sure to subscribe and beat up the like button to tell the algorithm that we are giving goodies away over here. 

Thank you so much in advance.

So what else?

Step 4 – Adjust

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

You go to a relationship to give; not give and take.  I know you are probably hearing that for the first time but trust me.

Adjusting doesn’t mean that you are succumbing to a lesser role.  It actually means you are “leading” and seducing your spouse back in love with you.

The idea is not to become another person. 

It’s more so about engaging the existing power that you already have in that relationship in a way that benefits the relationship.

What needs to be adjusted is how you show up so that you can attract better love experience and expression.

Step 5 – Patience

It took time to get here. It will take time to get him or her to fall back in love with you.

How long?

It depends on a few factors but what you should focus on is becoming a better self that will attract a better in-love and real love experience.

You can’t afford to pour from an empty cup; you will get burnt out and your partner will unintentionally test you a few times before feeling safe and secure again.

Watch the in-love experience creep back into your relationship slowly but surely.

The Main Lesson

The more engaged in your personal purpose and life mission you are, the easier this process will be.

As we’ve said, this process will be tested.

So spiritual strength, personal purpose and self development are necessary ingredients for smooth recovery from “I don’t love you anymore.”

Watch the next video on the screen for more about that.

Bill & Melinda Gates’ Divorce: 5 Reasons

Let’s be clear that… the only reason there is a massive discussion around Bill and Melinda Gates’ divorce is one of the 5 reasons why many marriages continue to fail as we are about to highlight right now.

So pay attention.

But Before we dive into that, let’s do a quick refresh on who they are and why this is a big deal.

In April 1975, Bill Gates co-created one of the biggest corporations of the 21st century along with Paul Allen; Microsoft Corporation.

That company is a massive force behind personal computing as we all know it today.  

In 1997, I personally discovered personal computers.  I was so excited and decided to change my career plans at the time from Architecture to Computer Engineering.

This is not about me. 

3 years before that, 1994, on the other side of the hemisphere, Bill Gates married one of Microsoft’s employees; Melinda French at the time.

Both of them are responsible for probably the biggest private charity organization in the world which holds nearly $50 Billion in assets; Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. 

There is a lot of controversy around the activities of Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation in recent times with respect to the pandemic that hit the world in 2020 and some comments by Bill Gates with respect to population-growth rate control.

It was basically a confusion between a decreasing population and population-growth due to the mortality rate of children as picked up from a TED talk he did back around 2010.  

It was a comprehension issue as usual.

Many people are trying to “connect dots” purely based on conspiracy theories because people always try to pull answers from the thin air due to fear of the unknown.

But we don’t know what we don’t know especially with no details revealed in court documents on why they are filing the divorce.  

With respect to reasons, the filing referenced their separation contract which was not available publicly at press time.

What we do know is that they both acknowledge in their statement that the marriage was blessed with three children together: Jennifer, Rory, and Phoebe. 

At the time of the announcement of their divorce on May 3rd 2021, the youngest of their children was 18 years old and they had been married for 27 years.

So Why is Melinda Gates Filing for Divorce 27 Years Later?

As to be expected, there is a lot of speculation from money and power to conspiracy theory to Bill’s personality, to the “pandemic virus really being a mere bacteria” and all sorts of nonsense.

But we believe more-so in the core reasons around the simple fact that they are just humans like the rest of us but obviously within the confinement of a different context; 

That context being their economic and social status in society.

We believe somebody lost attraction and interest for the other romantically long before the public announcement; possibly way before Bill found out that Melinda no longer liked who she had become in the marriage.

Is it just a coincidence that their last born just became an adult at the time of the divorce announcement?  Maybe it is.

As humans, we have more in common than we like to admit especially when it comes to romance, relationships and marriage.

Every adviser, their moms and their pops are very quick to point out how every marriage is different; but is that really a brand new discovery?

How About Trying a Little Harder Than Social Media Rhetoric? 

In the next video, we talk about the random psychologists popping up everywhere with destructive ideologies for marriages and how to avoid them.

Punch all 3 buttons in the face to ensure you don’t miss that one.

We believe there are core reasons why every marriage in any social or economic class thrives in its journey or declines before “death do us part.

Bill and Melinda Gates are no exception.  

They may be wealthier from a money and financial standpoint but completely drained when it comes to the ultimate 5 reasons we are about to share with you.

This can be especially true when we are talking about a typical woman who is also married professionally to her husband; they work together. 

Most men in this situation tend to forget about the most important aspect of their lives together; the romance.  

Even men who do not work professionally together with their wives forget to treat their wives like a lady; soon enough they start treating the wife like the homie.  It’s called complacency.

This is the justification that many of them have for entering into a “healthy debate” that turn to toxic arguments, resentments and consecutive days of malice keeping in the home.

Is This Divorce Courageous or Sad… A Shame?

People’s opinion on what they think of this divorce will be a function of their past experiences and not absolute truth or fact.

In fact, one person said, she felt sad, not because of the divorce but from wondering how long Melinda Gates had been suffering in that marriage.

She also volunteered her life story that she divorced her ex-husband after 22 years. So as you can see, that opinion reflected her own experiences.

So ask yourself?

Why do you think it was courageous?  Are you a happy divorcee or this is just your justification of your past failure in marriage?  Is this “misery love company”?

Why do you think it’s sad? Are you calling this a shame because you have a toxic belief system that staying in a marriage is a duty regardless of emotional pain?

Conclusion & Main Lesson

Bill Gates was the type of guy who needed a little training on his romance skills according to Melinda–his wife; soon to be ex-wife.  

Sometimes, a typical woman wants your offering and sacrifice for the relationship to be your idea then she wouldn’t mind helping sometimes.  Your wife is not your mother so there is only so much training she can offer you.

As a husband, you should be aware of little things like this that can obviously stack up against your marriage over a 27 years period.

And as a wife, you should be aware that love is always enough to carry a marriage but common sense is a terrible guide for a marriage.  

So I want you to seek professional help as soon as the marriage doesn’t feel right; don’t normalize it until you exhaust the marriage.

In an interview, Melinda shared that patience was the key to their relationship.  Does that mean she was over-leading in patience? 

She said… 

“When he was having trouble making the decision about getting married, he was incredibly clear that it was not about me, it was about, ‘Can I get the balance right between work and family life?’”.

So this is one of the richest humans ever in the history of humans. I am convinced that decision making is not Bill Gates’ weakness in business.  But what about in romance?

Did he carry this habit on-and-off and throughout the 27 years period?  

Did she wait till her last born became an adult before attempting to feed herself emotionally and then filing for the divorce?  

Or Maybe completely the opposite way around where she was the culprit who broke Bill’s heart?  

Was there an affair or infidelity involved?

Was heavy professional travel around the world separately a big reason for the death of their marriage?  We are just curious.

More importantly, we are all trying to figure this marriage thing out right? It’s ultimately a journey that must be nurtured to get its fruits.

We do know that whatever it is, it is a combination of a couple or all of these 5 reasons.

  1. The Marriage Lost The Purpose
  2. One Partner Lost Attraction
  3. One Partner Lost The Sense of Self
  4. One Partner Lost The Sense of Personal Purpose
  5. One Partner is Anticipating a Greener Grass on the Other Side

These are not crimes or faults that require blame, guilt, judgement or condemnation at any level but the consequences 100% of the time is the loss of marriage and divorce.  


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