5 Signs Your Husband Repulses You Sexually & What To Do

In this lesson, I will be sharing 5 signs you may have been experiencing to make you feel like your husband repulses you… 

And maybe even disgusts you in more ways than one.

You would probably agree that this is not a fun way to be in a marriage with your husband

and you probably feel guilty already for feeling this way.

Over the years, I’ve had friends who complained bitterly about their husbands not being fully committed to them.

They feel like they are invisible to their men. 

Some of them wonder if their husbands were cheating.

And these are the kinds of feelings that can lead  to feeling disconnected from the husband even after sex.

I’ve personally been in this place to the extent that all I wanted to do was run away from the marriage.

Eventually, I filed for divorce because it felt like there was nothing else to fight for,

…but I am lucky to still be in the same marriage.

So let’s dive in through the 5 signs you may already be experiencing.

1st Sign –

Your Husband Doesn’t Notice You Anymore Can Lead to “My husband repulses me sexually”

If you are feeling like your husband has taken you for granted,

…that is almost the equivalence of feeling rejected in your marriage.

I remember a few years into our marriage when I started to feel like my husband stopped paying attention.

He became oblivious of my needs and desires (I felt like it at the time) and he was lost in his own world.

Eventually, I started to feel disconnected from him to the extent that I started fantasizing about life without my husband.

That’s just the natural progression after feeling like you don’t matter anymore in your marriage.

And if care is not taken, you can also lose yourself.

How did you get into a space where your husband starts to take you for granted?

There is a chance that you are probably way too predictable to keep engaging his attraction towards more of your attention.

He has your attention in excess so naturally, (like the rest of us) we take anything that is readily available for granted.

So if you don’t know what you are doing and  why he does what he does, you eventually start to resent him and get used to the idea of your husband repulsing you.

You need to learn how to flip into being unpredictable.

If you had gotten more involved in your personal purpose, allowing you to give him some space before your resentments started boiling, 

…he would have been more curious about what you are up to effectively seducing him back to noticing you more.

2nd Sign That Leads to Feeling Like Your Husband Repulses You –

Your Husband Stopped Initiating Sex

PREVIOUS POST: 13 Signs That Will Make You Say “My Husband Hates Me” to Yourself

I know your mind may be focused on the possibility of your husband cheating on you but that is not always the case. 

There are many reasons why your husband may have stopped initiating sex.

And it is very important for you to explore those possibilities before concluding in a way that leads to resenting him.

When our marriage was in crisis, I didn’t know any better and that led to my mind creating the worst case scenarios you could ever think of.

What if your husband was going through a tough time with work and he was just too ashamed, scared or he just avoided putting the burden on you?

Instead of leaving your marriage in the hands of fate to figure out for you while you build more resentments towards him, 

…why not start by planning a date night and scheduling sex for a change… 

All that can replace the idea of waiting for him to initiate sex all together in an even more exciting way. 

I know what you are thinking.

You are probably thinking that scheduling sex is boring.

But a scheduled sex is better than not getting any at all in addition to building resentments towards your husband repulsing you.

This method and other similar strategies are just initial ways of giving yourselves something to look forward to until things kick off naturally again. 

As I said earlier, there are other reasons why your husband may have stopped initiating sex besides just putting his legs up in complacency and relaxing in the marriage.

Erectile dysfunction, complacency, normalizing bad marriages are just a few other reasons you should be aware of.  

You will never know unless you engage your power and ask in love.

In some of these cases, you will have to support him by encouraging him to talk to a professional if it comes to that.

But the keyword there is “encourage” and not demanding.

3rd Sign –

Your Husband is Too Busy to Make Time for You

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Unfortunately you have now found yourself in a place where it feels like you are not your husband’s first priority but more of a burden to him.

That is not the ideal husband. Is it? 

I also went through those same emotions for the better part of the first 9 years in our marriage.

Our sex life was actually good.

But it was the feelings that I had after sex that bothered me the most.

It felt like that was all he wanted from me.

If you are going through similar emotions, eventually you will resent your husband just like I did and intimacy will also cease to happen.

And so the only way to get help is to understand the underlying reasons why he seems to be focused on other things rather than your relationship. 

He is your husband.

Don’t wait until your resentments hit the boiling point.

You probably know what gets him in a lighter mood and you can then use it to your advantage,

…to have a heart-to-heart talk in a loving way.

Avoid assumptions, arguments and being judgmental so that he won’t be triggered to shutting down on you and your relationship emotionally.

You see… 

Life can be tough on all of us.

And the person that feels the heat and effect of that the most is the closest person to us which is you; being the wife.

The easiest route to take when you are being hurt emotionally is to get caught up in the emotion.

But the reality is that you can work a little harder because of the rewards.

Find out the “why” and leverage it in the favor of your marriage and most importantly, the underlying relationship.

4th Sign –

Sarcastic Tones can Lead to “My Husband Repulses me Sexually”

Marriage will test the character of both parties in ways that are usually hidden in a blind spot.

Unfortunately, the way these flaws are revealed in your marriage will be in communication break-down.

Why?

Because insecurities come with everyone and reality shows up when a crisis or trauma happens in your relationship.

If your husband seems to call you mean names and makes you feel worthless, he is probably coming from a place of hurt and resentment. 

The purpose of my assertions here is not to create excuses for him…

but to give you the opportunity to understand him psychologically and emotionally.

In fact, he continues to blame you for everything wrong in his life probably because you have tolerated bad behavior.

So you are partly responsible for enabling this behavior since you are also an adult who chose to be in a relationship with him.

As usual if you keep these dynamics up in your marriage, you will get hurt and build resentments as well; which then leads to these feelings of husband repulsion.

So in order to avoid these feelings, you may need to disengage immediately to an extent; until he starts desiring to give into your relationship again.

You need to seduce him until he understands that it is unacceptable and the way you can communicate this is how you allow yourself to be treated. 

It’s time for you to earn respect for yourself by respecting yourself.

Your husband may also be depressed where his sarcastic tone may be his way of coping.

This may sound harsh but you can’t help him if he doesn’t want your help or know he needs it.

So I would advise that you get yourself some support like a professional who can guide you on what you can do to help your relationship.

And also, learn how to look out for yourself so you don’t get burnt out.

5th Sign That Leads to Feeling Like Your Husband Repulses You –

Your Husband Would Rather Confide in Other Women

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You are probably feeling that your husband has become a stranger to you because he would rather share moments and intimacy with other women.

As always, not addressing this as soon as possible will turn to boiling resentments which we are now interpreting as husband repulsion.

It all started from somewhere.

You see… 

Most people think cheating and infidelity is all about stepping out physically on a spouse; that’s inaccurate.

Cheating is happening anytime you are engaged in activities that you are ashamed of and effectively hiding it from your spouse. 

Your spouse might be engaged in an emotional affair.

So you need to ask yourself first…. 

Is your relationship worth saving for you?

If your answer is “yes”, don’t overreact.

Do not confront him about this yet because it might set him off running or shutting down completely.

If you want to save your marriage now, you have work to do personally on yourself. 

You might have found yourself in this situation because you engaged controlling behavior by taking care of your partner to a fault of neediness.

Also engaging in judgmental and disrespectful arguments can make you neglect yourself to the point of losing yourself.

However it’s not too late to get your self-confidence back and start feeling attracted to your husband again.

Now you know that you have choices either to attract your spouse back or move on because you deserve better than what you are feeling now. 

Our motto is the G.P.S which you have to master in order to influence your partner back. 

For more information, please download our book 

GET MY MARRIAGE BACK

…for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
For more lessons like this, go to www.LOLAandOLA.com/blog

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

No… it is not normal however many women and wives can feel this type of emotion towards their husband if there is a history of resentments and bottled-up issues.

There are many reasons he may not be interested in you sexually but there is a good chance it has nothing to do with you. Start with a conversation with an intention to hear him out.

If your partner seems uninterested sexually, attempt a conversation with an intention to hear him out and not to judge.

The seeming signs of a bad husband are struggles with making you feel heard, abuser who abuses you mentally, emotionally or physically but be mindful that these may also be signs of a man who is struggling internally.