Can Menopause Cause a Sexless Marriage And Not Wanting To Be Touched?

Let’s dive into a topic that many of you have asked about: the connection between menopause, intimacy, and its impact on marriage. We’ve got a couple of insightful comments from our viewers, Gregory and Deshaun, on one of our other videos “Is Sexless Marriage Grounds for Divorce in the Bible?”

1st Comment From Gregory ~ “My wife, once she gone through menopause, doesn’t want intimately with me. To me it sound like an excuse, because I am hearing about older women still having sex in their old age.”

2nd Comment From Deshaun ~ “Most definitely AND it’s a 2-way street. I just left a 12 year sex-less marriage. It was the most humiliating, dehumanizing experience ever!”

We’ll be addressing these comments in a few seconds to minutes. So grab a comfy seat and let’s have an open and informative chat about this important issue!

https://youtu.be/GvMY9vA5Fwg

What is Menopause? 

Menopause is a natural biological process that marks the end of a woman’s reproductive years. During this time, the ovaries gradually decrease their production of estrogen and other hormones, leading to the cessation of menstrual periods. Typically occurring between the ages of 45 and 55, menopause can bring about a range of physical and emotional changes namely:

Physical Changes:

Hot Flashes and Night Sweats: One of the most well-known symptoms of menopause is hot flashes. These sudden, intense feelings of heat can lead to sweating and discomfort, often occurring during the day or disrupting sleep at night.

Vaginal Dryness: Due to a decrease in estrogen levels, vaginal tissues can become thinner and less lubricated. This can lead to discomfort during intercourse and even a heightened risk of urinary tract infections.

Changes in Libido: Hormonal shifts during menopause can lead to changes in libido or sexual desire. Some women may experience a decrease in sexual interest, while others might not notice any change.

Weight Gain: Metabolism may slow down, leading to weight gain, especially around the abdomen. This can be frustrating, but maintaining a healthy lifestyle through exercise and balanced nutrition can help manage this.

Bone Density Loss: Estrogen helps maintain bone density, so its decline during menopause can increase the risk of osteoporosis, a condition characterized by brittle bones.

Emotional Changes:

Mood Swings: Hormonal fluctuations can contribute to mood swings and emotional changes. Some women may experience increased irritability, sadness, or anxiety.

Sleep Disturbances: Night sweats and other physical discomforts can disrupt sleep, leading to fatigue and impacting emotional well-being.

Depression and Anxiety: Hormonal shifts during menopause can sometimes trigger or exacerbate feelings of depression and anxiety. It’s important to seek support if you’re struggling with your mental health.

Body Image Issues: As physical changes occur, some women may experience shifts in body image and self-esteem. This can impact how they feel about themselves and their intimate relationships.

Sense of Identity: Menopause can also bring about a sense of transition and a reevaluation of one’s identity, as it marks the end of a reproductive phase. This can lead to introspection and adjustments in life priorities.

Remember, every woman’s experience with menopause is unique. Some may breeze through it with minimal disruptions, while others may face more challenges. It’s crucial to communicate openly with your partner, seek medical advice when necessary, and prioritize self-care during this transformative time. 

And for partners like Gregory who might feel a bit lost, understanding and patience play a vital role in providing the support needed during this period of change.  This is not the time to put every thoughts into words such as “Do you think you are acting like this because of menopause?”  That will obvious tamper with the emotional state of things.

What is Considered a Sexless Marriage?

A sexless marriage is generally defined as a relationship where couples have little to no sexual activity over an extended period of time. It’s important to note that the definition of “sexless” can vary from couple to couple, and what’s considered acceptable differs depending on individual preferences and needs. 

But if you or your partner are both feeling disconnected in this department, it might be time to address the situation. If at least one partner feels a disconnect, it’s time to address it because it is then effectively an issue for your relationship.

For the most part, anything longer than 2 weeks on a consistent basis that is agreed upon or understandable by both partners is considered a sexless marriage.  We’ve also learned that 90 days or more of no sexual activities between married couples is considered the end of that marriage in Islam; so we heard.

At a Mental and Emotional Level, How Does Menopause And Not Wanting to be Touched Relate?

Gregory’s comment strikes a chord that many partners can relate to. Menopause brings about not only physical changes but also emotional and psychological shifts. Just like how teenagers’ hormones can cause mood swings, menopause can lead to changes in libido and how a woman perceives herself. Feeling less inclined towards intimacy can be a combination of hormonal changes, body image issues, and even self-confidence matters.

So again, for all the Gregory’s, this is for your understanding and not to used to manipulate or expressed outright in words to your partner.  This is an opportunity to practice patience and an engage understanding as a skill-set.  Trust me, it will move things in your favor.  

How To Deal With Sexless Marriage after 50, 60 & 70

Deshaun’s comment hits home with its honesty and vulnerability. 

“I just left a 12 year sex-less marriage. It was the most humiliating, dehumanizing experience ever!”

A sexless marriage can indeed be a challenging journey, causing emotional strain and feelings of rejection. If you’re in a similar situation, communication is key. Open, honest, and respectful conversations about your needs, desires, and concerns can pave the way for understanding and compromise. 

But more importantly, seeking professional help and support can also provide guidance and strategies to navigate this difficult phase.  Communication in this space is easier said than done and not advisable without adequate support.

What is the Effect of a Sexless Marriage on a Wife?

The impact of a sexless marriage can be profound and varied. For women going through menopause, the struggle is real. Menopause itself can bring about a decrease in libido due to hormonal shifts, but when combined with the emotional toll of feeling unwanted or unattractive, the effects can be magnified. It’s important to remember that every woman’s experience is unique, and support from partners, friends, and healthcare professionals can make a world of difference.

What is the Effect of a Sexless Marriage on a Husband?

Just as the effects of a sexless marriage can be significant for wives, they can also have a profound impact on husbands. Let’s dive into what husbands might experience when facing a sexless marriage:

Emotional Distress: Husbands in a sexless marriage can experience emotional distress, including feelings of rejection, inadequacy, and frustration. The lack of physical intimacy can lead to a sense of being unwanted or unloved.

Self-Esteem and Confidence: Just like wives, husbands might experience a blow to their self-esteem and confidence. They may question their attractiveness and desirability as a partner, affecting how they perceive themselves.

Communication Breakdown: A lack of intimacy can strain communication between spouses. Unaddressed issues and unmet needs can lead to resentment and create a barrier to open and honest conversations.

Frustration and Resentment: Over time, the frustration of unmet needs can lead to resentment towards the partner and the relationship itself. This can create a negative cycle of emotional distance.

Impact on Mental Health: The emotional strain of a sexless marriage can impact a husband’s mental well-being. Feelings of loneliness, sadness, and even depression can arise.

Doubts About Connection: Intimacy is often seen as a vital connection between partners. Without it, a husband might begin to doubt the depth of his emotional connection with his spouse.

Physical Health: Physical intimacy is associated with stress reduction and improved well-being. The absence of this connection can potentially affect a husband’s physical health over time.

Relationship Satisfaction: The absence of physical intimacy can lead to decreased relationship satisfaction for husbands who view it as an important aspect of their relationship.

Struggle to Express Emotions: Societal expectations around masculinity can make it challenging for husbands to express their emotional needs and vulnerabilities related to the sexless marriage.

Potential for Infidelity: In some cases, the absence of physical intimacy can lead to a higher risk of infidelity, as some husbands might seek validation or intimacy outside the marriage.

Long-Term Relationship Impact: A sexless marriage can impact the overall quality and longevity of the relationship. Couples might become emotionally disconnected, leading to dissatisfaction and potential separation.

It’s important to emphasize that the effects of a sexless marriage on husbands, as well as wives, can vary widely based on individual circumstances and personality. 

How To Arouse Your Wife After Menopause

Let’s talk about solutions! Gregory’s comment highlighted his concern about his wife’s lack of interest in intimacy post-menopause. Remember, arousal isn’t just about physical stimulation. Emotional connection, understanding, and making your partner feel desired are crucial. Take the time to explore new ways of intimacy together, such as focused touch, romantic gestures, and even trying new experiences that could reignite that spark.

How to Spice Up Your Married Life After Menopause

Deshaun’s comment reminds us that both partners play a role in maintaining intimacy over-all because oftentimes, one person is too weak. If your marriage has lost its physical spark, it’s time to get creative. Whether it’s surprising your partner with a date night, exploring fantasies together, or even taking up a new hobby as a couple, the key is to find activities that strengthen your bond outside of the bedroom. Communication, experimentation, and seduction skills on your part alone can work wonders.

Conclusion

To our valued viewers, thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. You’ve highlighted the complexities of intimacy and sexless marriage before, during and after menopause. Remember, every relationship is a unique journey, and patience, understanding, and communication are your greatest tools. 

While some older women continue to enjoy an active sex life, it’s important not to compare your situation to others’. Seek guidance from professionals and relationship experts, and most importantly, remember that the key to a fulfilling marriage goes beyond physical intimacy. Emotional connection, respect, and genuine care for one another are the true foundations of a lasting partnership.

If you like this post, you will love this other post we wrote on “When to walk away from a sexless marriage”.. Cheers 🙂

Frequently Asked Questions