In this lesson, you will discover 5 signs that separation may be good or at least necessary to bring life back into your marriage.
My name is LOLA and I am the co-author of the book
GET MY MARRIAGE BACK with my husband OLA
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Alexis is a 30 years old lady who is married to a 29 years old “boy” with 2 toddlers.
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She depends on her husband for everything else but they are struggling in the marriage.
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Now she is considering separation.
Contrary to popular belief by the punk ass modern man in this time and age, it is not the easiest decision for her.
They are very quick to point out the fact that 75% of divorces are initiated by women.
You will discover in these 5 signs how separation and divorce are initiated long before the space where Alexis is right now.
Let’s get into it.
My name is OLA.
Sign #5 – Fear of Being Alone
If your marriage is in a space of love, being alone will be the last thing on your mind.
When you now add fear into that equation, things are really bad and may need to get worse in order to be better.
In the case of Alexis, her husband is the breadwinner and she has 2 toddlers’ welfare to also worry about.
So the idea of having to move on is terrifying.
Still, this is a sign of a healthy cycle in a marriage; space may be necessary to have clarity.
Love and fear cannot dwell within the same space.
Some dummies would like to believe and fantasize about the idea of a marriage without the necessity of love but that’s not reality. Is it?
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Sign #4 – Emotionally Drained
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When partners have not been able to see eye-to-eye for 6 months where at least one person feels drained, space may not be a bad thing.
This is a sign that at least one person is taking the other for granted. This behavior may not change if that person does not smell the idea of losing each other.
Humans respond to consequences more than they respond to rules camouflaged as values.
Sign #3 – Help Refusal
You’ve asked for help by way of therapy or counseling but your spouse continues to reject it.
Alexis’ husband thinks they can work on the issues by themselves but never initiate the work and refuses therapy.
When one partner is crying out for help and the other is oblivious and ignoring it, that’s a roadblock that only consequences can open up.
If the refusing partner does not taste what it may feel like to lose each other, change is unlikely.
So this may be a sign of a need for separation.
However, individual therapy may be sufficient to learn how to seduce your partner back into a loving space for the marriage again.
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Sign #2 – Empty Cycle of Promises
Long stretch of broken cycle of empty promises creates resentments. It can also create low self-esteem and worth for the crying partner.
It makes them question if they are not enough to be valued by someone who claims to love them.
It’s only a matter of time; something has to give.
The marriage may have to give at least a trial separation in order for partners to value each other and not take each other for granted again.
As humans, we sometimes have a hard time valuing anything or anyone that’s readily available.
Sign #1 – Loss of Affection
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When you combine this with 2 or 3 other signs, it is really bad and things will likely not change for the better unless it gets worse first.
A partner who is crying for long enough will naturally have a hard time maintaining feelings of affection for a person who they feel has been taking them for granted.
This is especially true when a woman doesn’t feel heard; you cannot penetrate anything.
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