The stages of divorce grief are similar to the stages of grief that occur when someone dies.
The stages are shock and disbelief, pain and sorrow, anger and resentment, bargaining and guilt, and acceptance and hope. The order in which the stages occur may vary from person to person.
Some people may skip some of the stages or move through them more quickly than others.
It is important to allow yourself to grieve the loss of your marriage and not try to rush through the process.
1. Shock and disbelief: This is often the first stage after learning that your divorce is final. You may feel numb, have difficulty processing what has happened, and experience many other emotions, including sadness, anger, fear, and relief.
2. Pain and sorrow: As the reality of your divorce sets in, you will likely experience deep feelings of loss and grief.
You may find yourself crying often, feeling depressed, and struggling to cope with the changes in your life.
3. Anger and resentment: It is common to feel a range of negative emotions during this stage, including anger, bitterness, resentment, and frustration. You may lash out at your former spouse, friends, and family members.
4. Bargaining and guilt: During this stage, you may find yourself trying to negotiate with your former spouse or hoping for a reconciliation. You may also feel guilty about the divorce and blame yourself for the situation.
5. Acceptance and hope: In this final stage, you accept that the divorce is final and begin to move on with your life.
You may still feel sad and miss your former spouse, but you are able to start rebuilding your life. You may also feel hopeful about the future and find new meaning in your life.
Tips on Coping with Separation and Divorce
1. Recognize That Your Marriage Is Over: This can be difficult to accept, but it is an important step in the grieving process. Once you come to terms with the fact that your marriage is over, you can begin to move on.
2. Be Patient — Grief Takes Time: The stages of grief do not always happen in a linear fashion. You may move back and forth between stages or even skip some altogether.
3. Surround Yourself With People Who Support You — And Let Them Help: It can be helpful to talk to friends and family members who have gone through a divorce. They can offer guidance and support.
4. Practice Excellent Self-Care: During this difficult time, it is important to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Make sure to eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly.
5. Feel Your Feelings: It is normal to feel a range of emotions after your divorce. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of your marriage.
6. Find Out What’s There Besides Anger, Sadness, And Fear: As you move through the grieving process, you may find that you have new insights about yourself and your life. Allow yourself to explore these new perspectives.
7. Timebox Your Grief: Set aside specific times each day to grieve the loss of your marriage. This can help you to avoid becoming overwhelmed by your emotions.
8. Don’t Hide Your Divorce Grief From Your Kids (But Don’t Freak Them Out, Either)
It is important, to be honest with your children about your divorce. However, you should avoid sharing too much information or putting them in the middle of the situation.
9. Write It Out, Work It Out, Or Just plain Talk It Out: Journaling, therapy, and talking to friends and family members can all be helpful ways to cope with your divorce.
10. Stop Blaming Your Ex and Start Forgiving Them (and Yourself) One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to let go of any resentment and blame you may feel. This can be difficult, but it is an essential part of healing.
11. Remember: You Will Still Be a Part of Your Kid’s Life Even After Divorce Although your family may be changing, you will still be an important part of your children’s lives. Try to maintain a positive relationship with your former spouse for the sake of your kids.
12. Consider Professional Help Many people find it helpful to seek out professional help during the divorce process. A therapist can provide support and guidance as you navigate this difficult time.
If you are facing divorce, it is important to understand the grieving process. By recognizing the stages of grief, you can better prepare yourself for the journey ahead.
Remember, every divorce is unique and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. If you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to seek out professional help. With time and patience, you will eventually reach the acceptance and hope stage.
Don’t Suppress Your Feelings While Grieving
Everyone is different and everyone can experience each one of these stages very differently. Allowing yourself the freedom to grieve during a divorce doesn’t make you weak. In fact, it can actually make you stronger. If you try to bottle up your emotions, they may eventually come out in destructive ways. It’s okay to cry, be angry, and feel sad. These are all normal reactions to loss.
Divorce is a process, not an event. Just as there is no one right way to grieve the death of a loved one, there is no one right way to grieve the loss of a marriage. Allow yourself the time and space to experience all the emotions that come with this major life change. Seek out support from friends and family members, or consider professional help if you need it. With time and patience, you will eventually reach the acceptance and hope stage.
Coping With the Hard Feelings
Coping with grief during a divorce is exceedingly difficult. Feeling all the emotions mentioned in each stage during the process of divorce is common and necessary for moving forward. It is important to surround yourself with people that love you and support you to help you through this painful time. If you are feeling lost, consider professional counseling to help you regain a sense of self and hope for the future.
The No Contact Rule is a commonly recommended solution to various problems in the immediate aftermath of a breakup. This is a time when emotions can run high and fluctuate wildly, so it is often a good time for some distance between you and your ex. This can help you take some time to think about what it is you really want.
The rule is commonly set at 30 days, although it can be shorter in some cases or even go on permanently in others. During this time, ex-partners may avoid all forms of contact, whether face-to-face or over the phone, text, or social media. Some couples may even block each other on social media sites.
The specific rules can vary among different people, but the key feature is limiting communication.
How To Start No Contact?
If you have been contacting your ex regularly since the breakup, the best way to start no contact is to just stop contacting them.
If your ex has been initiating contact with you on and off, you should let them know that you intend to take some space from them and that you want them to stop contacting you for a while. You should be honest about why you are doing this, that is, to help you heal from the breakup and get some perspective.
The signs that the No Contact Rule is working might be confusing. You are unlikely to see all of these signs, but more than one or two may well signal that things are working out the way you would like.
1. You get a text from your ex
Of course, if you suddenly get a text from your ex, he has clearly been thinking about you for some reason. If he says that he is missing you, you can be sure that the No Contact Rule has worked. However, it is more likely that if your ex reaches out to you, the reasons will be less obvious.
If he asks you vaguely, “how are you doing?” he may be checking up to see if you are okay, or he may be trying to test the water with a general conversation. Either way, he is probably aware that breaking the No Contact Rule may signal that he thinks about you. Your ex-boyfriend clearly feels that contacting you is still important enough to be worth doing.
2. Your ex posts about you on social media
If your ex-boyfriend posts about you on social media, it can be a sign that he is thinking about you. This can take the form of a comment on one of your posts, or even just a “like” on something you have put up.
It can also be a sign that he is trying to get your attention by posting something that he knows you will see. This might be a photo of the two of you together, or even just a status update about something that you have in common.
3. Your ex talks about you to mutual friends
If your ex-boyfriend is talking about you to your mutual friends, this can be a sign that he is thinking about you. He may be sharing things in order to get them off of his chest, or perhaps he does not want to keep this relationship secret from the people who already know you both.
If your ex-boyfriend talks about your breakup with other people, it can be a sign that he is not over you yet. He may be hoping for sympathy from others, or he could even be trying to make you jealous by talking about other women.
4. Your ex-boyfriend stares at you
If your ex-boyfriend stares at you, this can be a sign that he is still thinking about you. It may be that he is a little obsessed with you and simply can’t take his eyes off of you.
However, it is also possible that your ex-boyfriend is simply trying to figure out if there is any chance that you might still be interested in getting back together. If your ex feels like he has missed an opportunity, or if he is simply not ready to let go of this relationship, then a lingering stare may be the sign that you need.
5. Your ex-boyfriend asks mutual friends about you
If your ex-boyfriend asks mutual friends about you, it can be a sign that he is thinking about you and wants to know how things’ are going. This may be a sign that he is trying to keep tabs on you, or it could mean that he simply wants some kind of connection with you.
There are many possible reasons why your ex-boyfriend might ask mutual friends about you, so it is important not to jump to conclusions too quickly. However, if this seems like a pattern, it may be a sign that he is not ready to move on just yet.
6. Your ex-boyfriend tries to make you jealous
If your ex-boyfriend tries to make you jealous, it could be a sign that he is still thinking about you. He may be trying to get your attention by flirting with other women, or he could be trying to make you see that he is still attractive and desirable.
Your ex-boyfriend may also be trying to make you jealous in order to get a reaction out of you. If he is hoping that you will get angry or upset, it can be a sign that he is not over you yet.
7. Your ex-boyfriend sends you a DM
If your ex-boyfriend sends you a message on social media, it can be a sign that he is thinking about you. He may simply want to get in touch to chat and catch up, or he could be trying to gauge your feelings by asking if you would like to meet up.
This could also be a sign that your ex-boyfriend is trying to start a conversation with you in order to see if there is any chance of getting back together. If he is asking about your life and how you are doing, it may be a sign that he still cares about you.
8. Your ex-boyfriend likes your posts
If your ex-boyfriend likes your posts on social media, it can be a sign that he is still thinking about you. He may be interested in what you are doing and how you are feeling, or he could simply be trying to get your attention.
Liking your posts can also be a way for your ex-boyfriend to start a conversation with you. If he leaves a comment on one of your posts, it may be a sign that he wants to talk to you.
9. Your ex-boyfriend texts you
If your ex-boyfriend texts you, it can be a sign that he is thinking about you. He may simply want to talk to you and catch up, or he may be interested in getting back together.
Texting can also be a way for your ex-boyfriend to gauge your feelings. If he is asking how you are doing and what you have been up to, it may be a sign that he still cares about you.
10. Your ex-boyfriend calls you
If your ex-boyfriend calls you, it can be a sign that he is thinking about you. He may want to talk to you and catch up, or he may be interested in getting back together.
Calling can also be a way for your ex-boyfriend to gauge your feelings. If he is asking how you are doing and what you have been up to, it may be a sign that he still cares about you.
Benefits of Using the No Contact Rule
1. The No Contact Rule can help you take a step back and gain some much-needed perspective. During this time, you can focus on yourself and your own well-being, instead of obsessing over your ex-boyfriend.
2. The No Contact Rule gives you some space to reflect on the relationship and why it ended. This can help you gain a better understanding of the issues that may have led to the breakup, and it can help you work through any negative emotions or lingering doubts.
3. The No Contact Rule gives your ex-boyfriend time to reflect on the relationship as well. This can be a good thing because it gives him a chance to miss you and realize that he wants to get back together.
4. The No Contact Rule can help you avoid any further drama or conflict with your ex-boyfriend. If you are constantly arguing or fighting, it can be very difficult to move on and ell. By taking some space, he may be able to cultivate a more positive attitude towards you.
5. The No Contact Rule can help you focus on your own happiness. This is a time to focus on yourself and your own needs, without worrying about your ex-boyfriend. By taking care of yourself, you will be in a better place emotionally and mentally, which can make it easier to get over your ex and move on with your life. Ultimately, the benefits of the No Contact Rule are many, and it can be a powerful tool for anyone going through a breakup. If you are thinking about trying this strategy yourself, just remember to stay positive and stay focused on your own needs.
What is self-respect?
Self-respect is the ability to value and treat yourself with dignity and respect. It involves having a positive view of yourself and trusting in your abilities, as well as honoring your own needs and desires. Other aspects of self-respect include respecting others, standing up for yourself, speaking your mind, and taking care of yourself physically and emotionally.
Tips to develop and show self-respect
1. Develop a positive view of yourself
One of the most important things you can do for your self-respect is to develop a positive view of yourself. This means believing in your own abilities and trusting that you are capable of achieving your goals. It also involves accepting yourself for who you are, flaws and all. If you have trouble developing a positive view of yourself, try spending some time each day doing things that make you feel good about yourself, such as practicing self-care, working on a passion project, or spending time with loved ones.
2. Speak your mind and stand up for yourself
Another key aspect of self-respect is being willing to speak your mind and stand up for yourself. This means having the confidence to share your opinions and beliefs, even if they are different from others. It also means knowing when to say “no” and setting boundaries with others. If you find it difficult to speak up for yourself, try practicing in less challenging situations first, such as with friends or family members. Once you feel more confident, you can start speaking up in more difficult situations.
3. Honor your needs and desires
In order to show self-respect, it is important to honor your own needs and desires. This means listening to your gut instinct and following your heart, even if it means going against the grain. It also involves being kind to yourself and prioritizing your well-being, both physically and emotionally.
4. Take care of yourself physically and emotionally
In addition to honoring your needs and desires, it is essential to take good care of yourself on a physical and emotional level. This means eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep each night, taking time for relaxation and hobbies, and seeking professional help if you are struggling with your mental health.
5. Respect others
Finally, showing self-respect also involves respecting others. This means treating others with kindness and consideration, even if you don’t agree with them. It also includes being open-minded and listening to others’ perspectives, even if they are different from your own. By developing and showing self-respect, you can cultivate healthier relationships with others and a more positive view of yourself.
Conclusion
The No Contact Rule is a commonly recommended strategy for dealing with various relationship challenges.
This can help you take some time to reflect on your feelings and priorities and decide if you really want to get back together with your ex-boyfriend.
However, if you do decide to reach out to your ex, it is important to be honest, patient, and understanding.
This may help you rebuild trust and restore your relationship over time, but there is no guarantee that this will happen. Ultimately, whether or not the No Contact Rule is right for you depends on a number of different factors, including the reasons for your breakup, how long it has been since the split, and what you are hoping to achieve by getting back together.
There is no definite answer to this question, as the success of a relationship after no contact depends on a number of different factors. These can include how long it has been since the breakup, what led to the split in the first place, and what each partner hopes to achieve by getting back together. However, if you feel like no contact is the right strategy for you, it may help you to work through some of the challenges in your relationship and to improve your chances of getting back together with your ex-boyfriend.
Breaking the no contact rule can have negative consequences for your relationship, such as making it harder to rebuild trust and restore your connection with your ex-boyfriend. However, if you do break this rule unintentionally or by accident, there is no need to worry. Simply take some time to reflect on what happened and try to avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future.
The decision to text your ex-boyfriend first after no contact is a personal one, and there is no right or wrong answer. Ultimately, it depends on factors such as how long it has been since the breakup, what led to the split in the first place, and what you are hoping to achieve by getting back together.
In this lesson, you will discover the real answer to this age-old question (Is my wife cheating?) and why the answer is probably not what you need before these 10 questions.
Nonetheless, I will give you the answer.
We are sorry that you have found yourself in this space with your marriage. We want to help and this article will be a great start.
Warning! Do not read anything else about cheating suspicions until you read this article in its entirety. You will break your home if you do.
With that being said, in this previous post, we shared 10 signs that your wife just slept with someone else.
We created that article but there is a problem that reading that article can potentially create and that’s turning you into an FBI agent in your own marriage.
What happens after reading these types of articles is the initiation of the vicious cycle, rabbit hole and urge to start looking for more information on how to catch your wife with another man.
It will never be enough.
There is usually a complete neglect for the psychological factors involved when you find yourself in this space of cheating and infidelity suspicions.
What If Your Wife Cheated?
This question is a bigger question that we want you to answer before you embark on the painful journey of finding out if your wife cheated.
There is a difference between those 2 questions; “Is your wife cheating?” and “What if your wife cheated?”.
But both questions are just as painful because the subject of the matter is still “cheating.”
And we can’t afford to manipulate you out of wondering if this has, in fact, happened because you have your reasons for the suspicion.
We can groom the mind in the direction that’s healthy over time but we can’t just format it like a computer disk if this is an actual concern.
So what if she cheated?
As painful as that question is to process, what would you do? That answer is more important than finding out if she’s actually cheating.
In an ideal world, you would check out all the signs that the gurus provide and your findings would indicate that your wife is not cheating.
But does that really satisfy the root cause of your concerns?
When you suggest to the husband of these modern days the possibility of being insecure, they get very defensive.
Insecurity is one issue but the tendency to get very defensive quickly is another behemoth issue all together.
By default, the root cause of the quest to know if your wife is cheating is insecurity.
The confusion comes when you think that the possibility of your insecurity is a crime that negates the possibility that your wife could also be cheating.
Two things can be true at the same time.
So if your findings say that she is not cheating, the human mind will tend to keep looking for answers that align more with the suspicion.
And if your findings indicate that she has been cheating, what would you do?
Therefore the only answer you should be looking for is these…
10 Questions Before Finding Out If She Is Cheating Or Not …
“What if your wife is cheating?”
If she’s cheating, what would be the next step?
Would that hurt and to what extent?
Would you leave the marriage?
If you decide to stay, under what condition?
What condition is healthy for you to stay in a marriage with a cheater?
What about healing from the wound of that level of betrayal?
What about healing from not being in bondage of always wondering if she’s still cheating?
Is total redemption from the effects of a cheating wife even possible?
How do I stop wondering if my wife is cheating?
Here Is An Example of A Good Reason For Cheating Concerns
A reader reached out to us. He thinks his wife is cheating.
According to him, she was never a social person. But recently, she has been hanging out late on random nights after work with co-workers.
Before his suspicions, she would call or text if she was going to be late for any reason but it’s getting really bad these days.
One day, after texting and calling her, looking for her and even reaching out to her family, with no response, he was forced to trace her to the bar around her workplace.
Eventually, she ran into her car and just waited long enough for her. She eventually came out of a male co-workers’ car.
When they talked about it, she claimed that she was too drunk to come home right away so she decided to just hang out and talk with the male co-worker in his car.
Now… is there enough information to confirm what he has been suspecting? No.
Is She Right Or Wrong?
… to even be in these compromising positions of hanging out, getting drunk around male friends and co-workers who she is obviously very comfortable with?
Whatever your answer is would be correct. You have the right to be right.
Is it possible that his wife is cheating on him? Yes.
Is it possible that she is not cheating at all? Yes.
Which answer is more probable? Your outlook on life will be the lens of choice here.
None of the answers is relevant to the real issue at hand which is the fact that your wife has found a safer zone outside of your marriage.
Is it your fault? Blame, guilt, judgement and condemnations are irrelevant to a healthy way forward.
A bigger issue is also that you are now operating out of fear and not faith. This will kill every ounce of attraction left in your marriage.
If you care for her, your goal should be one of these two different goals; to attract her back or let her go to set yourself free.
It just so happens that letting her go will increase the chances of attracting her back as we all know that the streets are not safe for anyone.
But it takes certain types of experience for some people to find out.
The worst thing you can do is to continue to go down the rabbit hole of being an FBI or CIA agent in the sanctity of your own home.
That’s never going to be fun and it will never create a positive fruit for your own life. We understand that a cheating wife won’t do that either.
However, you are better off working with the law of attraction. Focus on yourself and you will attract what’s best for you, including the best out of your wife.
If she’s just naturally a cheater (which is possible), you will also attract that information in a more healthy way that will allow you to move forward in the most healthy way.
At least, you won’t be missing out on a fun life until that happens.
Seeking individual counseling, coaching and therapy is also not a bad idea in this space because this is going to be easier said than done.
It can be very hard to just relax when you have real suspicions.
Don’t forget to download your free book Get My Marriage Back at:
In this lesson, you will discover how to handle marriage separation in order to ultimately make the outcome most positive and fruitful regardless of how much pain you are dealing with.
I am sorry for whatever the reason is that you are relating to this extremely important topic; my understanding is that it’s never easy, simple, or blissful.
Most people don’t go into a marriage with the purpose or intentions of separating. I would, however, argue that many are indirectly doing exactly that.
I’ll explain.
We’ve got tons of separation and reconciliation stories we can share with you to emphasize some of the patterns we continue to share with you in these lessons.
But we want to extract this particular lesson from just 2 stories.
As usual, all the advice we offer is easier said than done but they are worthwhile.
From the first story, Clara reported to us that her husband slept with someone else during separation and lied about it during and after reconciliation.
I know what you are thinking.
How could she ever possibly trust again? She can actually.
But wait.
We also have Christine who is worried that her children will hate her and their dad for separating.
Even though the kids have accepted her excuse for sleeping on the sofa (she told them “mommy needs her space”), she is afraid that they will start to recognize the lack of intimacy or affection at some point.
Honestly, that is probably the least of her issues.
While some may be good at hiding the pain, separation is never easy for either of the parties involved; husband or wife.
Many of today’s modern men and women lack the patience level required to see it that way because they want all the answers to life questions faster, logically, and now.
They often opt-in for pointing fingers at everything and everyone else.
So in today’s lesson, I want to point out 7 tips to help anyone in any phase of navigating separation in marriage in order to make the most out of it.
One of the tools professionally offered to help with separation are letters or contracts that state what the rules and boundaries are during this process.
But I want to emphasize more on the double edge nature of emphasis on rules and boundaries.
Of course, these are designed to not be crossed.
But for quite a significant percentage of people, the emphasis on rules and boundaries tends to create attention for it and sadly, a heightened desire to cross them.
This is especially true when people are going through an experience that puts them in potentially the weakest space they’ve ever been in a lifetime.
So I want you to treat rules and boundaries with care especially during separation in marriage.
Actually, I’d rather you put more attention into yourself, self-esteem, self-worth, and understanding that the existing version of your marriage is over.
If you do decide to stay together, it should be a completely different version of your marriage.
It will make building trust a lot more easier because what happened with the other person during separation becomes less of a factor for the future.
I’m not saying this to encourage bad and sloppy behavior during separation but to encourage you to retain your much-needed power for your future with or without your present partner.
This is the tip for Clara whose husband slept with someone else during separation and lied about it.
As far as I am concerned, it’s more so an old problem that was never solved.
It’s an unrealistic expectation problem.
When in separation from your marriage, anything should not go but it could because it usually would. “Should“ is usually not the reality.
Tip #6 – Why
I want you to identify why you and/or your spouse have opted for separation in order to support the process with a purpose.
Any endeavor in life without an explicitly identifiable purpose is 100% destructive whether you know it or not.
Unfortunately, many people call for separation when they are in a confused state in an attempt to run away from pain or perceived pain.
When people want separation from a partner or the other way around, they are also and often caught up in their feelings to a large extent.
So the idea of setting a time or term on the process is almost an oxymoron because if they could do that, they would just fix the marriage.
But that’s why I am pointing it out.
If you want to make the most positive outcome from this often unpleasant experience, I want you to be intentional.
Starting with yourself, I want you to identify and determine how long you want to give this separation process before attempting a decision to stay together or move forward.
That will help tremendously with your personal self-esteem because of the element of certainty and put you more so in the driver’s seat.
Tip #4 – Death & Growth
There is no in-between.
Your marriage is either dying or growing at any point in time.
I am aware that you probably already know this but I also know that in the mental space of a person going through a separation, a reminder is probably necessary.
Christine’s problem is not her children… that’s the least of her problems.
The children, by default, will have their own trauma carried over into adulthood.
Of course, parents should not be adding on to that.
But as you can see, Christine is adding on to it, maybe unknowingly, but for reasons best known to her by leaving her matrimonial bed for the couch.
She has her legitimate reasons; I’m sure.
It’s not what the kids are saying or hearing.
It is much more like what they are watching, how they will subconsciously process and interpret them, their personality, their temperament, 2,000 other signals…
And how they choose to live life as adults.
The only part of that you will be able to, not control but, influence is how you are living your life, maybe a little of what you say to them but more like how you nurture your marriage from what they can see.
So if you are not capable of nurturing your marriage without asking for space, they are seeing and learning that or the unhealthy and extreme opposite of that no matter how old they are.
Speaking of space…
Tip #2 – The Double-Edged & Deadly Nature of Space
While space can actually be a useful tool for mental health, it’s important to know that you are also creating a void and effectively allowing in other energy that may not necessarily be healthy.
Sure, you can eventually hold your partner accountable for any bad behavior or transgression during that separation process.
It is worth noting that holding other adults accountable all by itself has massive limitations when it comes to romantic relationships and getting what you want.
It has become pretty normal to ask for space in a marriage.
But let’s all remember that 50% divorce rate, broken families, and fatherless children are also becoming the norm.
Tip #1 – Duty
I was talking to one of my boys who is in today’s dating market.
He went ahead and told me in so many ways how modern women lack a sense of duty when it comes to the role of a wife.
This has been simply his experience and I don’t see that as an absolute truth. But I’ve also seen enough to know that this is true to a large extent.
70-80% of divorces are initiated by women and it goes up to 90% for college and university-educated modern women.
I personally think that the breakdown in family leadership has contributed the most to these unpleasant statistics.
But I also think it will help tremendously if men have the help of the modern women who want marriage and the family structure in bringing a sense of duty to the “table” while we also continue to address the leadership issues.
After all, both the men and women (and especially children who are the leaders of tomorrow) benefit from the love and connection but also the long-term benefit of a family structure.
Duty and not the momentary feelings have been responsible for all structures that stand the test of time.
It’s time to work together, sadly, on the structure-building end of things.
Sad because I think this is the sole responsibility of men particularly from a place of leadership with or without permission from women.
Nonetheless, a sense of duty will reduce the number of women running for the hills at the slightest instance of emotional difficulty in a marriage.
I want to encourage men to work on updating our family leadership skills for the 21st century; it’s pretty lazy to keep referencing the society from 100 years ago.
And it is highly dangerous to count on women to intentionally bring a sense of duty into the family structure beyond just a bonus if that ever happens.
I don’t think a typical woman is capable of that. I also subscribe to “never say never.”
So tell me in the comment area one additional bonus tip or question to help more people become better on the other end of separation in a marriage.
Also, check out the 30 minutes free coaching and discovery session that we will give you access to right after the download.
Hit the like button and check out the video on the screen for more information on how to rekindle and build an awesome marriage and legacy without being a simp or a pick-me.
In this lesson, you will discover 5 things that you can focus on to make your wife miss you during a separation in marriage.
Sorry to hear that you may be going through this but I got you. I want to tell you a story about James and his wife who are separated but living together.
So James was a guy who dropped us an email. He has been separated from his wife for a while now due to multiple issues.
Based on his confession, his wife finally had enough of him constantly putting her down and she asked for a separation with the goal of divorce.
They have been married since 2010 and have two kids together.
According to him, the kids are why they have decided to live together but separated for the time being.
James doesn’t want divorce but he understands that his wife is comfortable and will need to miss their romance in order to get back together; hence his question.
Believe it or not, separation may not have been a bad thing for your marriage.
When there is a breakdown in attraction, the negative things are easier to focus on than all the numerous positive things happening, evident by the fact that there is room to complain.
This behavior subsequently creates the further deterioration of attraction in the marriage and this is why most couples in separation are in a vicious cycle.
Guess what you can start doing to rebuild attraction; the direct opposite. Whatever you focus on expands; positive or negative.
So one extremely seductive thing you can do now is to make a different choice; focus on all the positive things and ignore the negative things unless it is safety, security or core value related.
Thing #4 – Gratitude
This is an attitude to life. It is still true to a large extent that you attract things into your life based on your attitude about life.
In the midst of separation, most people become very weak to the point that all they can do is swing along with things and wing things along.
They also tend to point fingers at everyone and everything else but self which is another way to disengage from self-improvement.
If your wife doesn’t get pointing-fingers from you, she will miss you because she will gradually start growing respect for you.
Without a strong personal purpose in life, there is a good chance that you will have a lot of time in your hands for nonsensical activities.
You know what they say about the idle mind; it’s the devil’s playground right?
If you are thinking about your separation right now, there is a chance that you are not as engaged with your personal life mission and purpose.
When you are engaged with your purpose as a man, it’s only natural for you to create a space of respect and healthy distance around you without you having to ignore her.
Your wife will miss you because she can feel the change especially if you both have good memories from the past together.
Thing #2 – Self-Love
This is simpler than most people understand. If you don’t love yourself, others, including your estranged wife, will mimic that behavior.
It has to be absolutely clear to her that you love yourself way too much to wait around and throw your life away for her to miss being in love with you.
She doesn’t get to decide if she wants to miss you or not if you get this right.
I understand that it is almost an oxymoron to ask you to “let go” while trying to make your wife miss you; I’m guessing… in order to rekindle romance in your marriage.
Think about it. Your wife is running for a reason.
From a mental standpoint, the last thing you want to do to a person who feels like running is to convince them otherwise.
People don’t run from what they passive as pleasure or relief. They run from pain or anything they perceive as painful at least until you change that experience for them.
So “letting go” for you may feel painful which is why you may naturally be running from the idea of letting go but that is where the work lies for you.
So tell me in the comment area which of these 5 things has proven to be the hardest for you to do and we will see about doing a video tip on making it easier for you.
Also check out the 30 minutes free coaching and discovery session that we will give you access to right after the download.
Hit the like button and check out the video on the screen for more information on how to rekindle and build an awesome marriage and legacy without being a simp or a pick-me.
