5 Reasons Why Your Wife Is Not Interested In You Sexually 💔

In this lesson, we are about to dive in through the story of a 28 years old guy

who is married to a 33 years old with a brand new baby and the blue balls syndrome.

Let’s call him Felix.

He writes…

“My wife and I have been together for about 6 years, married for 2 and we have an almost 1 year old child. 

My wife has had a reasonably exciting sexual past, and one thing that really stood out to me…

when we first started dating was how in control and proud of her sexuality she was. 

She was always full of confidence, dressed to impress and was unapologetic about going after anything she wanted, whether that was sexually or just for fun.”

Before I continue into this story, let me introduce myself.

My name is LOLA and I am the co-author of the book


…with my husband OLA

…which you can download for free at:


You will also see an opportunity to book a free 30 minutes coaching session with us. 

My name is OLA.

So Felix continues to write…

“Due to our work, we sometimes spend significant periods of time apart. 

But the time apart was filled with dirty messages, photos and videos, and exploring fantasies, toys, lingerie and bondage ideas. 

I would send her over sex toys to use and she would send videos back (she couldn’t buy toys where she was). 

After a while (about 3 years ago), it didn’t just drop off, it stopped completely.”

So here goes the first reason…

Reason #5 – All Good Things Comes To An End

PREVIOUS POST: When to Give Up On Separation 💔 Average Length & Rebuilding Attraction

I know that may sound scary and discouraging when it comes to the prospect of marriage for young men.

But what are we referring to as the “thing” here?  That will be greatly dependent on how much of a man you are.

I want to assure you that it is a good thing when you are aware that good sexual explosive phases as a thing do come to end.

It’s how we are able to separate a good phase from a bad phase so that we can appreciate either of the phases better.

And do everything within our power to consistently seduce our wives.

You have a choice to decide if this particular good sexual explosive phase is coming to an end permanently or temporarily.

Let’s continue to read…

He continues…

“We married almost 2 years ago, and the only decent period of somewhat routine sex since then was when we were trying to have a child. 

Suddenly I was the bad guy when I wasn’t available on a particular evening because that’s when we were most likely to conceive,

completely ignoring the 12 months prior of me desperately trying to initiate some kind of intimacy. 

Priorities and our lives in general have changed a great deal since then, with our beautiful baby now the centre of our lives.

However, I’ve felt more and more like I’m just a passenger along for this ride with my wife and kid.”

Reason #4 – Playing Victim vs Engaging Power

Keep in mind as always that this is not a “right or wrong” thing.  

It is not a joke but it is a game where you have to learn that playing the victim and retaining your power cannot co-exist.

You have your lady who is also nurturing your own brand new baby, and somehow you are a victim?

It’s not sounding right… right?

Your wife can feel that energy and it will only turn her off even more without her deliberately doing that.

I want you to become self aware and clear about that while responding to this crisis. 

Let’s continue to read…

He continues…

“We haven’t had sex properly in over 18 months.

My wife occasionally makes snide remarks at me, when after periods of trying to initiate some kind of intimacy,

I give up and stay up later to have some ‘time to myself.’ 

She makes me feel like a creep in my own house and I just feel like shit, and my anxiety starts to tick up.”

Reason #3 – Giving Up

TRENDING: 5 Signs Your wife is NOT Attracted to You ❤️

By your own words, you give up while attempting to initiate sex.

You can at least agree that there is nothing sexy about giving up and more especially the vibes and energy that accompanies that right?

Instead of giving up and continuing to play the victim,

I want you to leverage this moment of your life and marriage to engage your personal life mission and purpose first.

This may be something about your ambitions, career or some charity work that makes you feel fulfilled as a person.

It will leave you little to no room to keep feeling sorry for yourself while you are simultaneously giving your relationship some breathing room.

Now I want you to keep initiating sex but by practicing 3 steps forward and 2 steps backward.  

There is nothing sexier than a man whose wife feels safe enough to say “not today babe” while still trusting that he will be confident enough to initiate at some point.

That will even leave her some sense of obligation at the back of her mind and she may initiate before the next time you initiate.

If she doesn’t, you’ve decided to make that a non-big deal (engaging and retaining your masculine core and power) and try later.

She will naturally overcompensate for your patience later in the form of hot sex when she is ready to receive you back to back.

In this next lesson, I will reveal how this works in detail…

So be sure to like and subscribe for your best chances of getting notified when that video goes live.

Let’s continue to read…

He continues…

“We’ve tried to slowly reinitiate things, particularly when I’m away for work. 

We’ve tried to send a few exciting spontaneous messages here and there. 

We’ve started using an app where you essentially ‘match’ fetishes or sexual ideas with your partner

(i.e. only notified if they like the same thing as you, it’s pretty cool.) 

At one point, she even bought a new toy while I was away,

and kind of awkwardly apologized that it was a toy just for her and wouldn’t really be all that fun to use together. 

I was stoked and said she never needs to apologise for that! I thought this might’ve been the catalyst we needed. 

Fast forward the entire 2 months we were apart, and she hadn’t used it once.“

Reason #2 – “We” Don’t Seduce

There is so much “we” this and “we” that and it leaves me to wonder,

who is the seducer in this equation if what you want is more sex?

If you compete in feminine energy with your lady, it kills sexual polarity.  

What you are suffering from is partly low libido due to childbirth causing lower attraction in your marriage which is temporary.

This is not abnormal; we’ve been through the same thing.

It’s a process to get out of the limbo but it can be a faster process when you engage your seduction power which starts way before the bedroom.

Seduce more, initiate less and watch better sex come back into your marriage.

Let’s continue to read…

He continues…

“Occasionally we eventually have a really difficult but healthy conversation about our sex life,

and we walk away feeling great for it…but nothing really changes.

For the past 12 months or so, we go through a bit of a regular cycle. 

I try to initiate things at a pretty low level to rekindle a bit of excitement. 

It gets shot down over a period of 2-3 weeks, and my anxiety slowly escalates. 

I ruminate on the past fortnight, and the past 2 years and get frustrated. 

My mood dives, my wife asks what’s wrong, we have a bit of a chat (about all the same old things),

have a bit of intimacy (although, not sex) 

And I feel like she walks away relieved that she’s hit “reset”

and can now hopefully go another 2 or 3 weeks without needing to be intimate with me. 

Reason #1 – You Talk Her Out Of Wanting Sex

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

As you’ve probably realized, the more you talk about this, the less sex you are having.

By now, you are just predictable; the mood patterns and swings are probably predictable AF.

Talking so much in the name of conversations in an attempt to increase intimacy is feminine energy.

When she’s asking you what’s wrong, she wasn’t faking it. 

It’s a way for her to protect your household when it seems like you are falling apart as the masculine core in the relationship.

While that’s very nice of her, it’s killing sexual polarity even further.

So that’s not where you want your lady. 

You want her to be able to count on you even in the midst of this crisis

and that’s part of the process of seducing her back into crazy intimate sessions.

Rejection breeds obsession so you are not abnormal but this is how to rise above the norm

as opposed to using blame, guilt, condemnation and judgment to make matters worse.

To learn even more about rebuilding sexual attraction back into your marriage, check out the featured video on the screen.

My Wife Loves Me But Doesn’t Desire Me 💔

You are about to discover what to do if all signals indicate that the wife you married doesn’t desire you anymore even though she claims she loves you.

What a confusion right?

Are women crazy? 

How do you love a husband you don’t desire?

If you’ve asked these questions, it’s little to no wonder.

I also used to hear my husband tell me he loved me but simultaneously,

I felt undesired when he revealed certain behaviors.

To be honest, I didn’t know any better either so I went in the easiest direction. I stacked up resentments.

My name is LOLA and I am the co-author of the book

GET MY MARRIAGE BACK with my husband OLA

…which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

You will also see an opportunity to book a coaching session with us.

Quick housekeeping…

as soon as we say anything that makes sense to you,

hit that “like” button and subscribe to the channel if you haven’t.

Without any further ado, here is my husband.

This is OLA

I was on the receiving end of those resentments she mentioned earlier and it was not fun as you can probably imagine.

We got married and I flipped my legs on the table and just relaxed like most new husbands.

After all, we are now committed to each other for life. 

PREVIOUS POST: 💔 5 Reasons Your Wife is NOT Affectionate Anymore

What else is there to worry about? So I thought or acted at least.

It’s called complacency and we all do it in one shape, form or the other.  

The truth is that I truly loved my wife and my family even back then but that didn’t stop me from being complacent.

Here is the first thing you should know.

On the other end of being complacent is a person you love who may be feeling undesired by you even if you don’t mean to.

And you know what they say about hurt-people. They hurt people right?

That’s right. But I didn’t plan out how I was going to hurt you back.

It was more-so about two people who entered a whole marriage to wing things along.

I know what you are thinking.

Why didn’t we vet properly and go through premarital counseling?

Not only did we engage in some premarital counseling,

we actually dated and were in a committed relationship for 3 years before we went to the altar.  

Here is what we know today after reviewing, consulting and coaching many people in modern marriages .

People that say “I do” don’t know what they are doing because they couldn’t possibly know.

When you haven’t experienced marriage,

you are in a completely different context and it is what it is.

So when I complained about a few things a few times only to get undesirable responses from my husband,

I continued to feel more unsafe to express myself.

The resentments started to build up naturally.

It is in fact true that unexpressed expectations turn to resentments.

It is paramount that you give your partner freedom to express their expectations and the key is to not take those expectations personally.

In the next video, we discuss how to manage expectations in your marriage because unmanaged expectations are actually worse than unexpressed expectations.

We Got This Comment, 

“My Wife Says She Loves Me But I Don’t Feel it”

TRENDING: 5 Stages that Leads to a Sexless Marriage 💔

Have you ever felt that way?

After our relationship deteriorated so badly, I was still pretty much oblivious.  

To me it wasn’t that difficult.  I just want my wife to want me and it was weird to me that she didn’t get it.

Before I knew it, I started creating room in my life for the idea of entertaining attention that was being deprived on the sidelines.

We never stopped proclaiming our love for each other verbally but I didn’t feel it. 

As a man, I simply normalized it because I grew up with Uncles who had and exercised options when it comes to women; married or not.

Like most men…

*I thought about sexual attraction.

*I wondered why you avoided intimacy and I couldn’t touch you anymore.

*I resented the audacity of committing and not showing up to our marriage.

So of course over time, the disconnection reflected occasionally in my energy and at one point, my wife verbally gave up on us.

The Main Lesson

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

That rock bottom helped me discover the secret. 

A certain type of love required for all marriages is a choice.

However, desire, affection, and attraction are symptoms of a certain consistent way of showing up in your marriage as a man.

A typical wife has a lot on her plate and simply doesn’t get to decide if they want to desire you or not.

Think about it.

In the beginning of your love affair, your wife desired you without knowing enough about you.

Though it wasn’t controlled, it was an attraction.

So we can agree that desire in a marriage is not some logical decision.

At least, that’s not reality.

But it can absolutely be reverse-engineered especially with the history of desire that used to exist between the two of you. 

We know it can happen again but it’s easier said than done.

With proper support it’s absolutely possible because we are a testimony.

But you will have to engage your power and it’s impossible when you are playing the victim.

Check out the next video on the screen for more information about that.

5 Signs Your wife is NOT Attracted to You ❤️

Do you feel like your wife is no longer attracted to you?

First of all, every marriage is different.

But there are some things that are universal when it comes to signs that a woman is not attracted to you.

Some things are very peculiar to your particular relationship with your wife. 

Well, let’s  assess together and see if she’s no longer attracted to you or it’s simply just your feelings.

Sometimes, how you feel can be far away from the reality of things.

signs my wife is not attracted to me

In this video newsletter,

I will share 5 different signs you should look out for

in order to determine the level of your wife’s attraction to you.

Keep in mind that attraction in any given moment in time is temporary.

So the last thing you want to do is overreact if you feel like your wife is not attracted to you;

at this very moment.

The key phrase there is “in this very moment”.

These signs are only valid if they never existed before but now your recent suspicions.

Sign #1 – One-Word Answers

If you get a one-word answer every time you ask your wife open-ended questions,

that’s a sign that she’s probably not attracted to you at this point in time.

That’s a sign that your wife is not interested in a conversation with you.

An open-ended question is a question that requires somewhat of an elaborate insight, and opinion.

Average human being loves to share their opinions under normal circumstances.

If your wife has gotten to a place where she’s no longer interested in sharing her thoughts

and opinions when you create opportunities for her to do so,

That could be a sign of low attraction.

If that suddenly starts happening from time to time, over and over, consistently over time,

…you should look into finding out the underlying reasons.

ON THE PREVIOUS POST: How to Deal with an Unsupportive Husband

Sign #2 – She is Disrespectful

When a woman is not attracted, her behavior may start coming off as disrespectful.

What is disrespectful?

To be honest with you, it depends on how you feel and the unique Dynamics in your relationship with your wife.

So if you feel like she’s being disrespectful, you would know because you know what it feels like when she’s not being disrespectful.

A woman that does not respect you cannot love you; at least they can’t be in love with you at this moment.

So with respect to how things normally are in your marriage to your wife, if you feel like she’s being disrespectful,

Then she clearly is not interested in the intimacy that you are used to in your marriage.

 A woman who is attracted to you will not be disrespectful to you.

Sign #3 – She Suddenly Started Avoiding Argument

Arguments are extremely toxic, they create slow but sure death for intimacy and attraction in a marriage.

By the way, a man who understands women does not argue with women and it’s really that simple.

It really doesn’t matter if we are talking about your wife or your mother.

A disagreement is not the same thing as an active argument.

With that being said, if your wife used to engage in argumentative conversations with you and she suddenly stops,

That could be a sign that she’s losing respect for you.

If she has to lead in any capacity consistently, over time, she will lose respect and attraction towards you.

In a little bit of a twisted way, the sudden stop is a sign that she is no longer interested in needing you to be on her side of an argument.

It’s not the argument that she’s avoiding, it’s a conversation with you that she’s avoiding, granted that the argument may have gotten to that toxic level.

While I do advise every couple to avoid argument, being dismissive is not the way to go about it.

Avoiding it should be more of a deliberate Act of building your relationship with your significant other and never about “being dismissive.”

But she is a woman who may have had to lead in avoiding arguments in your marriage; she cannot be attracted to you right now.

If things have gotten to that toxic level where one of the parties is now being dismissive, that could be a sign of loss of respect.

As I stated earlier, loss of respect is almost if not equivalent to loss of attraction.

TRENDING: How to Save my Marriage – 7 STEPS ❤️

Sign #4 – She Stopped PDAs

PDA stands for Public Display Of Affection.

As always, this sign is only valid if you are used to a wife who used to be very interested in public display of affection such as:.

  • Cuddling
  • Hugging
  • Kissing
  • Holding hands and so on

If she suddenly stopped showing interest in these things that could be a sign of low attraction.

But like I said, if the Dynamics of your marriage were never like that, this may not be an indication of anything with respect to attraction.

I do think it’s weird when I see married couples who don’t flirt at all because most couples that are attracted to each other tend to do these things.

Sign #5 – She Never Initiates

In most marriages, there’s always one of the spouses who initiate sex most of the time because of unmatched sexual appetite.

However every now and then, the one who doesn’t will take it upon him or herself to switch things up and that’s usually an exciting spontaneity for the couple.

But if you’re in a situation where she never initiates at all, there’s a chance that she is not attracted to you; at least not sexually.


There may be other signs outside of the scope of this video newsletter, but it really doesn’t matter as the solution is the same across board.

If you’re feeling like your wife is not attracted to you in recent times, the solution I will recommend to you has everything to do with just you and you only.

Start paying attention to some self-love, self development and less attention to how your wife may be feeling.

Allow your wife to wonder about what you are up to.

If you take some time off wondering about how much attraction your wife feels towards you, that alone can make her start to feel attracted to you again.

But also, you will be literally building yourself to attract the type of love that you desire and deserve.

If you allow her room for her to wonder about what you’re up to, that’s literally almost if not the equivalence of building attraction back up in your relationship.


Frequently Asked Questions

How do you know when your wife isn’t attracted to you?

If your wife has suddenly started avoiding arguments, stopped PDA’s, started being disrespectful, giving you one word answers, and making you ask these questions, she is losing attraction to you.

Why isn’t my wife attracted to me anymore?

One sure way to get your wife to continue to lose attraction towards you is taking attention off self love and self confidence.
Ultimately, it depends on the particular story that led you down this path.

What does it mean when your wife doesn’t show affection?

It can mean a lot of things including loss of attraction but the first best way to find out is to ask her.
If you lack the confidence to ask her, that is a good reason for her to lose attraction towards you and stop showing affection.