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What is Infidelity ❤️ Does it Make Marriage a Mistake⁉️

What is infidelity? In a marriage…

When one party engages in intimate relationships with a person outside of the marriage.

Some call it cheating… some call it an affair, and others call it Infidelity.

Study shows some statistics below… How common is infidelity?

  • 20% of men reported that they cheated sexually
  • 13% of women reported that they cheated sexually
  • 16% of ALL ADULTS reported that they cheated sexually

But under age 30, the numbers are different.

  • 10% of men under 30 reported that they cheated sexually
  • 11% of women under 30 reported that they cheated sexually

General Social Survey 2010–2016 by the National Opinion Research Council – University of Chicago

via PsychologyToday.com

Keep in mind that these are just the reported; a whole lot more will take that secret to their graves.

What is Infidelity in a Marriage? DEADLY

But what I can tell you is that betrayal is human characteristic…

And you should have proper expectations of humans when you marry one.

It is important to NOT lead into marriage with

….the daily fear of cheating, affairs, or infidelity.

That won’t help you.

This is one of those aspects of a marriage where you need God or whatever helps you maintain divine peace.

In addition, an affair can either be physical or emotional; and off course it can be a hybrid of both.

Whether infidelity represents the end of or deal breaker in a marriage is not a rule anywhere.

It completely depends on the parties and the uniqueness of their relationship and the underlying friendship.

Below is a question for us to address matters of infidelity in a marriage once and for all…

“I need to stop being negative and nagging.

I need to learn to listen to him and respect him.

He’s talking about this marriage might be a mistake; I need lots of prayer.”

Just keep in mind that respect, trust and submission are earned.

Enjoy the video.

Get My Marriage Back | Paperback/Kindlebook | FREE Audiobook

Before we dive into more details about infidelity…

Let’s answer the question as it will help with fundamentals.

In order to survive a crisis in any type of relationships

(especially a marriage), you can’t afford to undermine the power of an overall positive attitude.

Therefore if you are dealing with a negative and/or shutdown spouse, it will take a tremendous emotional energy to maintain your cool.

As I said earlier, respect is earned.

Just as trust and submission, all these actions are driven in a marriage as effects and not a cause.

Sure you can deliberately initiate them.

But it will eventually drain you emotionally if you are not aware of the underlying attraction level that initially brought you and you spouse together.

That is to say, if you are not presently attracted to your husband, it won’t last much long if you force yourself to respect him.

So in the long run, you need to address the cause of the low attraction level.

You have to also respect and love yourself enough to attract the type of love you deserve from your spouse.

It is natural for couples to go through this over time as complacency kicks in.

So I am saying that it is natural to take each other for granted over-time.

Is your marriage a mistake?

There is no relationship that is a mistake and here is why.

Every relationship you engage in your life must be regarded as an opportunity to grow.

It’s part of the interpretations you must add to your efforts of positive attitude.

Because that energy will drive a lot more other actions that will drive your spouse to do right by you.

Subsequently, it will propagate energy that will attract the types of relationship and may be another marriage that will serve you.

Can we agree that the marriage you have right now is bad especially if infidelity is involved?

Therefore it’s time to build a brand-new marriage with or without the same and present spouse.

That attitude gives you your best chance of attracting your present spouse to do right by you if that’s in fact what you want.

Effectively, if you lead with the attitude that it “MUST” be the same spouse,

Your desperate energy will push him or her away further.

Sure we all need prayer.

The scripture says….

“Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.”

James 2:17 New King James Version (NKJV)

The Real Meaning of Infidelity

The truth of the matter is that infidelity is involved whenever a promise is broken in your marriage.

It doesn’t have to be sexual in nature.

Therefore, any type of promise that was made in your vows no matter how little is seems will result in infidelity.

What is the difference between infidelity and adultery?

Adultery is more specific of a way to describe sexual related betrayal in a marriage.

But it’s an effect.

In order to fix adultery as one of the many types of infidelity, we have to go deeper into causes; Root Cause Analysis.

Of course it’s easier to point the most fingers at the person who engaged sexually with another outside of the marriage.

Most of the infidelity that happens in marriages has nothing to do with sexual behaviors.

However all of the different types of infidelities create resentments and complacency over-time.

For example, if you promised to be there for richer or poorer…

But then catch attitude last week because he was broke financially, that’s a form of infidelity.

In addition, catching negative attitude in the midst of any crisis does not solve it; it expands the emotional effect of it.

So, you’d agree that marriage has probably been infected with infidelity and needs work right?

I am by no means telling you that cheating or having an affair outside of the marriage is any easier to deal with.

All I am saying is that those types tend to be the most obvious to judge people with.

It’s very important that you use that to adjust your perspective in order to attract the love and marriage that you deserve.

Judgment, guilt, and blame will harm you, your relationships and especially any children involved.

Therefore you have to rise above the obvious emotions such anger, resentments, rage that you will naturally feel…

If you are on the receiving end of an infidelity.

That’s going to take work, but it’s doable and it’s your best shot at attracting happiness again.

So should you Stay in the Marriage After Infidelity?

It depends on your particular relationship.

If it’s taking you more than 3 months to at least forgive, you probably should consider separation first.

Because it’s not helpful for any of the parties for the other to live in mystery.

Time apart may just be what you need to appreciate life, the marriage or both again.

That same time apart may help a perpetual adulterer make a decision to nurture what they value…

And have clarity of where he or she belongs (with you or someone else).

Having out in that dark spot for longer than 3 month tends to create more and more emotional damage in you, your spouse and even any children that may be involved.

But marriage is usually not easy to just throw away.

If it was easy, you probably would not have that question.

Ask yourself this question however…

Are you running from your problems obviously entangled up in infidelity right now?

As I have said, the problem is deeper than the effects

Of which some of them are cheating, affairs and infidelity.

Minimum of 50% of this (though not your fault) is your problem.

So if your quick solution is to leave the marriage, you will effectively take 50% of the problem with you.

Hence why 76% of marriages to divorces ends in about 2 years according to many studies.

It will help you ensure that you work on yourself before concluding that leaving is the solution.

How to Practically Rebuild Trust Even After Infidelity

When you first met your spouse, it was natural to trust because attractions high.

It’s easy to be in love and trust a person that you truly don’t know.

The reality is that you couldn’t possible love them though.

That trust was fake in essence.

Now that you are dealing with the after effects and emotions from infidelity, the real work is needed.

Anything that’s worthwhile in life will take work.

It was never practical to trust another human at the level that we do in a marriage.

That’s why I always say, people that say ‘I do’ don’t know what they are doing.

It doesn’t even matter how much pre-marital counseling you have before, you simply couldn’t comprehend what you were about to do.

So I get it

Trust can be hard to rebuild once it has been breached by a spouse but it’s do able.

But, I have to tell.

Holding your marriage and specially your happiness hostage because of trust issues will not help you.

Here are some scriptures that warned you about trust and its application to infidelity recovery…

It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.

Psalm 118:8 ESV

Thus says the Lord: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord.

Jeremiah 17:5 ESV

You are not even supposed to trust yourself; much less another person.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV

Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.

Proverbs 28:26 ESV

Listen…

It’s natural for you to feel hurt and wallow in the mystery of it for a while.

But it’s time for you to realize that you deserve happiness and take the bulls by the horn.

How?

Leave all your trust issues in the hands of God and start living.

That’s easier said than done but hearing it or reading it from me might as well be the first step in the right direction.

Infidelity can be emotional and even more painful.

Is an adulterer always an adulterer?

You’ve heard the saying, “once a cheater always a cheater.”

That’s absolutely an impossible lie.

It’s a lie that can hold you hostage even long after your spouse has repented due to…

A larger purpose than the seduction and excitement they may have derived from their past transgression.

Here is a quick 2 step-solution to that.

  1. Do the work that will attract him or her to re-commit back into a brand-new marriage with you.
  2. Let go and forgive yourself for attracting the old marriage.
  3. Enjoy your new marriage one day at a time.

As you can see, none of the step has anything to do with putting the focus on fixing your spouse.

The work must be done from the inside to attract what you want on the outside.

What is the main reason for infidelity?

Of course in the long term, loyalty will benefit and create joy as opposed to short-term excitement.

But People cheat mainly for a lack of a larger purpose than the pleasure and excitement of secrecy.

It’s a choice but it’s also a choice that most humans are never too holy to make.

Most people just need the right circumstances to align to find themselves choosing pleasure over loyalty in the short term.

10+ Causes of Infidelity

Circumstances can include but not limited to:

  1. Not receiving enough attention from the significant other,
  2. Inappropriate engagement with friendly acquaintances,
  3. Low self esteem
  4. Immaturity
  5. Background and childhood trauma
  6. Belief system
  7. Low attraction
  8. Unmatched libido level
  9. Retaliation for past transgression

(10) 12…Principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Ephesians 6:12, King James Version

But it’s never your fault when your significant other makes a choice to have an affair.

However you may have helped create one of the circumstances that align the opportunity for short-term human excitement.

They could have also chosen to rise above.

But judgment, blame, and guilt or self-guilt won’t help.

It’s time to understand “WHY” at a deeper level and attract an infidelity free brand new marriage.

The best chances of a lifetime joy is with a repented spouse because you are now both equipped with knowledge

Which becomes power when you both apply to a daily loving marriage for the rest of your lives.

Treat it on a daily basis…

Because obsession with the past and tomorrow will drown your relationships and especially your marriage.

Marriage counseling can help a great deal with communication skills… but check out the success statistics of marriage counseling here

If friendship with an opposite sex that you are personally friends with, an ex or a blast from the past is involved,

Respect yourself by allowing your spouse to go and sort that out before starting your brand-new marriage with them.

No one with healthily give you what you can’t give yourself.

Therefore if you can’t love and respect yourself, your spouse can’t love and respect you.

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5 Signs Your Marriage Can Still Be Saved

Is your marriage in crisis?

If you’re feeling like you’re at the end of the road, don’t give up just yet.

There’s a chance that your relationship can still be saved—but only if you recognize the signs before it’s too late.

Click the image below to Watch the Video

Click the image Above to Watch the Video

In this post, we’re going to dive into 5 powerful signs that your marriage still has hope and what you should do next.

If you’ve been searching for answers, watching breakup advice on TikTok, or listening to friends who just got out of their own relationships, you need to read this first.

Let’s get into it.

1. Your Partner Has Been in Love with You Before

I know what you’re thinking: “Of course, we got married!”

But this isn’t about stating the obvious—it’s about understanding how love actually works.

Love doesn’t disappear overnight.

It’s not like a light switch that turns off permanently.

It’s more like WiFi—sometimes the signal is weak, sometimes it disconnects, but that doesn’t mean it’s gone forever.

One of our clients, Lisa, thought her husband, Mike, had completely fallen out of love with her.

He barely spoke to her, stopped complimenting her, and seemed checked out.

But when she mentioned divorce, his reaction wasn’t anger or indifference—it was pain.

💡 The lesson?

If your spouse reacts emotionally to the idea of separation, it means they still have feelings.

That’s a huge sign that your marriage can be saved.

2. They Still Care Enough to Be Angry

You might think arguing all the time is a bad thing—and sure, constant fighting isn’t healthy.

But the truth is, anger shows that your spouse still cares.

The real danger isn’t arguing. It’s indifference.

When your partner no longer reacts, no longer asks questions, no longer gets frustrated—that’s when they’ve checked out.

But if they’re still passionate, still engaging (even in frustration), that means emotions are still in play.

🔥 Passion—even in conflict—means the relationship isn’t over.

3. You Still Live in the Same House

It might feel like your partner is distant, resentful, or emotionally unavailable.

But if they’re still choosing to share a home with you, despite everything, it’s a big deal.

When people are truly done, they leave—even if it’s just to crash on a friend’s couch for a while.

If they’re still under the same roof, it’s not just about convenience.

It means, on some level, they’re still tied to this life with you.

💡 Use this time wisely. You still have a chance to reconnect and rebuild.

4. Your Lives Are Infrastructurally Connected

I know, “infrastructural” sounds like a term from a government report, but stick with me.

If your lives are deeply intertwined—finances, mutual friends, routines, responsibilities—that means walking away isn’t simple.

And while staying together just for convenience isn’t the goal, it does mean your spouse isn’t fully detached.

One of our clients, Erica, told us, “We barely talk, but when I mentioned splitting accounts, he got super uncomfortable.”

That discomfort?

That’s a sign.

Because when someone is truly done, they don’t flinch at separation. They’re already mentally packed.

💡 If the idea of fully disconnecting still affects them, there’s hope.

5. You Have Kids Together

Before someone in the comments says, “Staying together for the kids is toxic,” relax—that’s not what we’re saying.

But having children together isn’t just about responsibility.

It’s a deep, lifelong connection.

One of our clients, Mark, was about to sign divorce papers until his child asked him, “Are you and mommy still best friends?”

That question hit hard. Because kids see everything.

They feel the shifts. And sometimes, realizing that is enough to make a couple try one more time.

💡 Kids don’t fix marriages, but they do remind couples of the love that once existed.

What Now?

If you recognized even one of these signs in your marriage, that means there’s still a chance.

The next step? Knowing what to do about it.

🎥 Watch our next video here: What to Do When Your Marriage Feels Hopeless (Coming soon)

Or, if you need a step-by-step plan to reconnect with your spouse, get our free guide here:

👉 www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

Before you go—drop a comment below: Do you think staying together for the kids is the right move, or is it just delaying the inevitable? Let’s discuss!

📌 Share this with someone who needs to hear it. You never know who might be struggling in silence.

If you missed part 1 of the series, click here to check it out.

FAQ: Signs Your Marriage Can Still Be Saved

At what point is a marriage not salvageable?

A marriage may be harder to save when a partner shows complete indifference and a lack of emotional reaction to the idea of separation.

What is the #1 thing that destroys marriages?

While not explicitly stated, the absence of care and emotional engagement, leading to indifference, is a significant threat to a marriage.

At what stage do most marriages fail?

Most marriages tend to fail either in the first few years as the “honeymoon phase” ends and realities set in, or between years 5 and 8, often linked to shifts in priorities or unresolved issues.

What is the #1 cause of divorce?

We think unrealistic expectations and pride contribute greatly to marital problems and needs to be watched, but studies consistently point to lack of commitment as the number one cause of divorce.

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How to Save Your Marriage When Your Spouse Wants Out – Saving a Marriage in Crisis

You ever been in one of those situations where you walk into a room, and you can immediately tell something’s off?

Click the image below to Watch the Video

Click the image below to Watch the Video

Like… the air is just thick with tension.

You say “Hey, babe,” and all you get back is a grunt. Or worse—absolute silence.

Now, if you’re like me, you probably start running through a mental checklist: “Did I forget the anniversary? Did I leave the toilet seat up? Did I—Oh wait… it’s worse than that.”

And then… BOOM.

Your spouse hits you with the words no one ever wants to hear:

“I don’t think this is working. I think we should separate.”

Listen, if you’ve ever been in this situation or you’re in it right now, I need you to do one thing for me. Breathe. Seriously. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Because this isn’t the end of your marriage—yet. And even if it feels like it, I promise, there’s still a way forward.

I’m Ola, one half of a partnership with my wife, Lola. After 11+ years of friendship and 8+ years of marriage, we almost gave up on each other.

The pain, the distance, the constant fights—it felt like there was no way forward.

But through heartbreak, trial, and relentless effort, we discovered something powerful.

That journey led us to create the Get My Marriage Back system, launch this website in 2018, and co-author the book Get My Marriage Back.

Since then, we’ve helped countless individuals and couples get their marriage back and make it even better.

At press time, we’ve celebrate 17+ years of marriage and 20+ years of friendship.

And today, we’re going to talk about how to save your marriage when your spouse wants out.

And no, before you ask, the answer isn’t to beg, plead, or suddenly become the most romantic version of yourself that ever existed. Trust me, we’ve seen it all, and that’s not how this works.

So, let’s talk about it.

Tip #1 of 5—It’s Not About Whose Fault It Is

I know, I know. The first thing we all want to do when a relationship is falling apart is figure out who’s to blame.

“If she would just listen to me!” “If he would stop ignoring my feelings!” “If they weren’t always on their phone!” Sound familiar?

One of our clients—let’s call him Jason—came to us convinced his wife was the problem. She had become distant, she stopped laughing at his jokes, and worst of all… she stopped complaining about his bad habits. And if you’re married, you know: when they stop complaining, that’s when you should worry.

Jason was stuck in the blame game, and the more he tried to prove his innocence, the worse things got. He’d say, “But I do everything for you!” and she’d respond with, “I never asked you to.” Ouch.

Look, if your spouse wants out, the goal isn’t to prove you’re right. The goal is to understand what’s happening. And that leads me to the next point…

Tip #2 of 5—Accept and Understand It

Here’s the thing—you can’t fix what you refuse to accept. If your spouse says they want out, that’s their reality right now. Telling them they’re wrong or acting like it’s just a phase isn’t going to help.

Think about it like this: If someone is drowning and they’re flailing their arms, you don’t say, “You’re not actually drowning. Just stop panicking.” No! You acknowledge the panic, then you help them in a way that doesn’t make it worse.

When Jason finally accepted that his wife felt disconnected, instead of fighting it, he started to see things differently. He realized she wasn’t just being cold—she was hurting. And when you recognize that your spouse is hurting, you stop trying to “win” the argument and start focusing on the real problem.

By the way, if this is hitting home for you, go ahead and hit that like button. And while you’re at it, subscribe, follow, and turn on notifications because we’ve got more coming that’ll help you get your marriage back on track.

Alright, let’s keep going.

Tip #3 of 5—Be Accountable

(And No, Accountability Is Not the Same as Fault)

Jason had to learn this the hard way. See, he thought being accountable meant admitting everything was his fault. But that’s not what we’re talking about.

Accountability means asking, “What’s my role in this?” without turning it into self-blame or self-pity. It’s about seeing where you can improve—not so you can take all the blame, but so you can take control of what you can change.

Jason realized he had stopped being emotionally present years ago. His wife didn’t wake up one day and say, “I’m done.” It was a slow fade. And when he finally took accountability for his own emotional unavailability, that’s when things started to shift.

Tip #4 of 5—Let Go

I know. This one is tough. But listen—the more you try to control the outcome, the worse things get.

Jason spent months trying to convince his wife to stay. He wrote long text messages. He over-explained every little thing. He even made one of those dramatic “I can’t live without you” speeches in the rain. Okay, maybe not in the rain, but you get the idea.

And guess what? None of it worked.

But the moment he stopped trying to force her to stay… the moment he stopped clinging to control… she noticed.

Because here’s the truth: Desperation pushes people away. Confidence and self-assurance bring them closer.

Which leads us to the last and most important tip…

Tip #5—Engage in Self-Development

If you take nothing else from this video, take this: The best way to save your marriage is to become the best version of yourself—not for your spouse, but for you.

Jason stopped focusing on “fixing” his wife and started working on himself. He rediscovered hobbies. He started learning about emotional intelligence. He even started listening instead of just waiting for his turn to talk.

And you know what happened?

His wife started noticing.

Because when you work on yourself, the energy shifts. Your confidence grows. You stop being the person who’s begging for love and start being the person who naturally attracts it.

And here’s the crazy part—Jason’s wife eventually started engaging in conversations again. Not because he convinced her to, but because she felt the difference.

So if your spouse wants out, the best thing you can do isn’t to chase them—it’s to work on you.

And if you need help with that, consider working with us for personal coaching.

Just go to Click Here or Go to ww.GetMyMarriageBack.com

Alright, now before we go, don’t forget to hit like, subscribe, and turn on notifications so you don’t miss the next video.

And here’s a question for you: Do you think love alone is enough to save a marriage, or is something else more important? Drop your thoughts in the comments, and let’s talk about it.

Here is part 2 of the “Saving a Marriage in Crisis” series; 7 Signs Your Marriage Can Still Be Saved.

FAQ: Saving Your Marriage

What is the No. 1 rule for saving your marriage?

The most important step is to focus on your own self-development rather than trying to control your spouse or the outcome.

How can I save my broken marriage?

You can begin to save your marriage by accepting your spouse’s feelings and understanding their perspective.

What are the hard years of marriage?

The “hard years” of marriage often occur in the first few years as couples adjust and between years 5 and 8 when deeper issues may surface.

At what year do most marriages fail?

While statistics vary, research suggests that most marriages tend to fail either in the first few years (1-2) as couples adjust, or between years 5 and 8.

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Relationship Problems? Got GAME? 4 Ways To LEVEL UP NOW 🎮✨

Do you have relationship problems?  It’s probably your partner’s fault and super-easy to just blame them.  But you probably also “lack game”.  Let’s find out.

Back when Kayode and Sharon were newlyweds, life was a whirlwind of love and excitement. They moved into a cozy apartment in Houston, full of dreams and plans for their future together. Every weekend, they would explore the city, discovering new restaurants, attending music festivals, and enjoying their shared love for adventure.

Do you have relationship problems?

But as time went on, the honeymoon phase began to fade.

Kayode got a promotion at work, which meant longer hours and more stress. Sharon, who had always been a social butterfly, started feeling lonely and neglected. Kayode started feeling unappreciated for his hard work. Their once-vibrant relationship turned into a series of routine arguments and silent dinners. The spark that brought them together seemed to be dimming.

Kayode felt overwhelmed and frustrated, often bringing his work stress home. Sharon, on the other hand, felt isolated. She missed the days when Kayode would surprise her with little notes or take her out on spontaneous dates. The emotional distance grew, and their arguments became more frequent and intense. Sharon felt like she was living with a stranger, and Kayode felt like he couldn’t do anything right.

6 Tips To Navigating Trust Issues in Relationships

According to Sharon, Kayode used to be a loving, attentive husband, but the pressures of work and life made him distant and irritable.

Sharon was trying to escape loneliness and disconnection. They were both running from the reality that their relationship was in trouble. The more they tried to avoid the issues, the more they drifted apart.

One evening, after a particularly heated argument, Sharon confided in her best friend, who suggested enrolling in the Prestige Marriage Academy. Sharon scoffed at the idea, feeling like she had tried everything and was ready to file for divorce.

Sharon’s friend managed to share a Man of Prestige happy hour livestream with her. In that livestream, she heard me using the word GAME and was taken aback. She thought, “this is my real life and not a game.”

Today, we’re diving into something a little playful but incredibly profound – it’s called G.A.M.E. Now, before you start thinking we’re talking about playing games in your relationship, let me clarify.

I understand that you might view G.A.M.E. as not the most empowering way to approach a romantic relationship.

It may seem manipulative rather than fostering a genuine connection. I get it. But love is playful and not always serious. Lighten up!

Environments that are too serious can stifle and smother romance, especially in marriage. G.A.M.E. is a term used by young people to describe the ability to naturally attract and nurture romantic attraction. It means having the finesse to bag who they want. We are showing you that these influence and seduction skills can be learned. I encourage you to focus on the context here. This context involves giving value to your partner in a way that they can reciprocate your desires.

17 Signs of When to Walk Away From A Sexless Marriage

The context is about whether “you’ve got game” or not, not about “playing games or tricks” as some dictionary meanings might suggest. It’s about being the best version of yourself and bringing that into your relationship. It’s about your ability to create a positive, loving environment where your partner can thrive, especially in crisis or conflict.

G.A.M.E. is about cultivating essential skills for a strong, enduring romantic relationship. It’s all about G for Gratitude, A for Ability, M for Mindfulness, and E for Empathy. So, grab a seat, maybe a cup of tea, and let’s chat about how you can level up your game!

G for Gratitude: The Power of Appreciation

First up, we have Gratitude. It’s the art of appreciating what you have, paying more attention to and recognizing the positive aspects of your life, especially your relationship. When you focus on the good, it enhances your happiness and strengthens your bond with your partner. What you focus on expands; it’s part of the secrets of attraction.

Why is Gratitude Important?

Gratitude shifts your focus from what’s lacking to what you already have. This simple shift can make a world of difference in your relationship. When you appreciate your partner and the things they do, it creates a positive feedback loop. They feel valued and are more likely to continue those behaviors that make you happy. If you are familiar with the parable of talents in the scriptures, it’s the same concept. It steals your focus away from being a victim to engaging your influence and seductive powers. Gratitude is also the first core pillar in our proprietary 3 core pillars, G.P.S. namely, God/Gratitude, purpose, and self. Obviously, we are not talking about extreme cases of abuse. Talk to your coach and they should be able to tell you if you are in an extreme case or not.

Here are 3 Ways to Practice Gratitude:

  1. Daily Reflection: Take a few minutes each day to reflect on what you appreciate in your life and relationship. Be intentional with this more so than your intentionality around setting boundaries and detecting narcissistic behaviors. Most people are busy playing the game of defense only. There is no game you can win by simply playing defense, particularly against your partner who should actually be on your team. Think about your partner’s qualities, shared experiences, and even the small gestures that made you smile. That’s how to play offense against the forces that are attacking relationships these days; not your partners as most people do, seemingly rightfully, since they are the ones that seem to offend you the most.
  2. Gratitude Journal: Write these reflections down. Keeping a gratitude journal helps you remember and cherish these moments.
  3. Express Appreciation: Don’t just keep it to yourself. Tell your partner what you appreciate about them. A simple “Thank you for making dinner, it was delicious” can go a long way. A simple “Thank you for being my rock, I appreciate you” goes a long way.

Unrealistic EXPECTATION in Relationships & Marriages ❤️ 2 Reasons why it DESTROYS…

A for Ability: Embrace Personal Growth

Next, we have Ability. This is all about continuous personal growth. Striving to become the best version of yourself without pressuring your partner to change in the name of “it takes two to tango”.  Tango is a dance right?  It’s okay if you start dancing and invite your partner into a dance too. Your growth not only enhances your self-confidence but also makes you a more attractive and fulfilling partner.

Why is Ability Important?

When you focus on your personal development, you bring more to the table in your relationship. You become more confident, more interesting, and more engaged. Confidence is sexy to all genders. This, in turn, attracts a more compatible partner and strengthens the connection you already have.

Here Are 3 Ways to Enhance Your Ability:

  1. Identify Areas for Improvement: Take a good look at yourself; the mirror. What skills, habits, or aspects of personal well-being could use some work?
  2. Set Goals: Once you’ve identified areas for improvement, set realistic and achievable goals. It could be anything from learning a new hobby to improving communication skills.
  3. Learn from Your Partner: Your partner is a great source of inspiration and knowledge. Be open to learning from their experiences and perspectives. That doesn’t mean agreement.

This is easier said than done. If you are in the middle of a crisis or conflict, it will be difficult for you to level up your game. Talk to your coach. Running away from a relationship is often not helpful as your problem follows you everywhere like the shadow that it is.

If you don’t have a coach, click here to contact us right after downloading our books for free. The books are “Get My Marriage Back” and “#1 Red Flag.”

M for Mindfulness: Be Present and Playful

Moving on to Mindfulness. This is about being fully present in the moment, fostering a deep connection with your partner. It’s about appreciating shared experiences and deepening intimacy.

Why is Mindfulness Important?

Mindfulness helps you to truly connect with your partner. It allows you to appreciate the little moments that make up your relationship. So it’s very much congruent with Gratitude. Being mindful means you’re more likely to respond rather than react, especially during conflicts. Think about it. When it comes to engaging your power, you have to be mindful and intentional. When it comes to being a victim, sure others can victimize you, but you just need to feel like a victim to be one. Which would you rather be when you have an option?

Here Are 3 Ways to Practice Mindfulness:

  1. Mindfulness Exercises: Engage in practices like meditation, deep breathing, and even prayer. I am not talking about typical Nigerian “kill the witches” ways of prayer. That’s being a perpetual victim. I pray you won’t have to yield to that. I am talking about staying grounded and present.
  2. Active Listening: When your partner is talking, really listen to understand. When you can, put away distractions like phones and focus on what they’re saying.
  3. Be Present: During your time together, be fully present. Enjoy your partner’s company by showing interest in their expressions without the constant interruptions of daily life.

E for Empathy: Understand and Share Feelings

Last but certainly not least, we have Empathy. This is the ability to understand and share your partner’s feelings. It’s about building trust and creating a safe space for authentic expression from your partner.

Why is Empathy Important? Empathy builds a strong emotional bond between partners. It fosters trust and makes your partner feel understood and valued. This is crucial for any healthy relationship.

Here Are 3 Ways to Cultivate Empathy:

  1. Active Listening Again: Should you be reading minds? No. Just pay attention to your partner’s words and beyond; their emotions. Try to understand their perspective.
  2. Validate Emotions: Acknowledge your partner’s feelings without judgment. Let them know their emotions are valid.
  3. Nonverbal Cues: Pay attention to body language and other nonverbal signals. These can provide deeper insight into your partner’s feelings.

So, there you have it – G.A.M.E. in a nutshell. By focusing on Gratitude, Ability, Mindfulness, and Empathy, you can establish a strong foundation for a lasting romantic relationship. Remember, a strong relationship requires effort from your partner as well, but leveling up on your own G.A.M.E. can positively influence the dynamic and inspire your partner to reciprocate in ways that you desire.

So, take these principles to heart and start cultivating your G.A.M.E. today. Your relationship will thank you for it! And remember, I’m always here to help you along the way. If you need more tips or personalized advice, don’t hesitate to reach out by clicking here

Over there, you can also download our two books for free: “Get My Marriage Back” and “#1 Red Flag.”

Keep playing the game of love with gratitude, ability, mindfulness, and empathy. You’ve got this!

Frequently Asked Question

How can I strengthen my marriage?

Strengthen your marriage by practicing gratitude, continuous personal growth, mindfulness, and empathy through the principles of G.A.M.E.

How can I improve the quality of my marriage?

Improve your marriage by focusing on appreciation, personal development, being present, and understanding your partner’s emotions.

How do you rebuild a failing marriage?

Rebuild a failing marriage by embracing gratitude, enhancing personal abilities, practicing mindfulness, and cultivating empathy, as outlined in G.A.M.E.

What are the tips to solve relationship problems?

Practice gratitude, focus on personal growth, be mindful and present, and cultivate empathy.

What is the hardest time in a relationship?

The hardest time in a relationship is often when the honeymoon phase fades, and partners feel overwhelmed and neglected.

How to deal with relationship issues?

Address relationship issues by focusing on your own growth, practicing mindfulness, and showing empathy toward your partner.

How to fix a failing relationship?

Fix a failing relationship by enrolling in resources like the Prestige Marriage Academy to learn and apply the principles of G.A.M.E. (Gratitude, Ability, Mindfulness, and Empathy).

Posted on

“My Wife DISRESPECTS Me” 9 Points Advice for you Especially in Separation… ❤️

In this lesson, I am sharing a 9-point marriage separation advice in order to give you the best chance to attract your spouse back in love with you.

At the bottom of this page, you will find the question that inspired this lesson.

Marriage Separation Advice - My wife disrespects me

(1) Give Yourself Space

It’s most likely that your spouse has asked you for space.

So if that’s the case, it’s very important that you don’t see it as a bad idea because frankly you probably need the space more.

You just can’t see that, because rejection breeds obsession.

Take advantage of the space apart to build a better “you”.

(2) Don’t Overrate Affairs

While your spouse may be distracted by an emotional or physical affair with another person, don’t highlight it.

The affair will never be worth what you have already shared with your spouse

But it is important that you showcase being unbothered by anything or anyone outside of the relationship you have with him or her.

The worst thing you can do is to spend your space apart bickering about affairs; it will only expand and you will push your spouse further away.

(3) It Takes One But…

Insisting that you stay together is not going to help save your marriage as much as attracting your spouse back.

It only takes one person to create attraction but that requires a process and insisting otherwise will interrupt that process of attraction.

Instead, let go as it only takes “you” to build attraction which is the single most important thing that is missing right now.

(4) Don’t Use/Abuse Children

The marriage separation period will come with a lot of temptations

And one of them is trying to inflict emotional abuse and blackmail on your spouse.

Another one is abusing your children as a tool to accomplish that goal.

It always backfires.

The most common one, believe it or not, is not as obvious as you may think.

It happens more in the form of manipulation under the pretense of protecting the child or children.

What you want to do is stay focused on what you want and don’t want

And leave the children out of it even if that’s painful for you emotionally.

Your emotional feelings are temporary.

The only exception to this, is physical abuse of the children; in that case, it would be non-negotiable to get the children removed from harm’s way.

(5) After 3 Months, You are Free

It’s not advisable to engage in transgressions with other people during separation but we are all humans.

Technically, you are free to move on after 3 months of lack of sexual relationship when it is not medically related in my personal opinion.

But also in my personal opinion, the most profitable and worthwhile thing to work on in this period is self growth.

If you don’t, transgression and the lifestyle that comes with it can destroy everything you care about.

It can be even worse when it’s done in retaliation.

If you decide to move on, seek legal counsel to avoid exposing you and/or your children to unfavorable legal loopholes.

(6) More Actions/Less Talking

That should be pretty clear but be careful not to confuse certain inaction with emotional centered-ness.

For example, don’t abandon your children and/or your normal responsibilities in the name of less talking.

That would be irresponsible and such behavior will continue to lower your spouse’s attraction towards you.

Just keep in mind that changed behavior is the best apology.

So for the most part, verbal apology will work against you because of the expectation for instant results.

Stay away from arguments, approval seeking behaviors and focus on building your self during this period.

(7) You Allow Disrespect

If there are any type of disrespect and/or disregard from your spouse during your separation, ask yourself first,

“How did I put myself in that position?”

“How did I allow that”?

You need to take the time to extract the answer to that question as it will help with clarity as you move into the new phase of your marriage.

The bottom-line and the result of this exercise should be that no one should be taking anyone for granted again.

When you take yourself for granted, your spouse will see it as a permission to take you for granted if they are weak like most people.

(8) Never Bribe for Sex

Don’t manipulate with whatever you do for your spouse, children and family at this time as a bribe for sex.

It will work against your desire.

Do it if you find it honorable to do and you don’t have to if you don’t feel like it.

The worst thing you can do is do it and then blame them for not reciprocating.

(9) Work on Yourself

That should be self explanatory.

Use the marriage separation period to build yourself and attract the love and affection that you deserve.

It’s simple but I agree…

It’s easier said than done.

Below is a question for us to address with this lesson…

“ I really enjoy your content on IG: @LOLAandOLA and I need to ask you a question.

In April 2017, my wife said she wanted space for 2 weeks because we were not in a good place and she was distracted by an affair at the time.

Initially, I objected and wanted us to get a fresh new start.

She did not return and recently found out she is in a full blown now having sexually intimate moments with her partner on the same bed as my 6 years old daughter who told me she’s uncomfortable.

As a christian, am I totally free without guilt to remarry even though we are not officially divorced.

I’m not going to crawl and beg her.

I did all I could to fight and save the marriage. But it’s clearly not working out.

She finds joy in disrespecting me and talking to me anyhow, rudely and distastefully.

Mind you, I am financially okay and earn 8-figures per annum.

I still give her monthly up-keep, 120K per month, for my daughters, excluding fees, clothing… until 2019 January when I stopped for many reasons.”

Enjoy the video.

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