My Wife Loves Me But Doesn’t Desire Me 💔

You are about to discover what to do if all signals indicate that the wife you married doesn’t desire you anymore even though she claims she loves you.

What a confusion right?

Are women crazy? 

How do you love a husband you don’t desire?

If you’ve asked these questions, it’s little to no wonder.

I also used to hear my husband tell me he loved me but simultaneously,

I felt undesired when he revealed certain behaviors.

To be honest, I didn’t know any better either so I went in the easiest direction. I stacked up resentments.

My name is LOLA and I am the co-author of the book

GET MY MARRIAGE BACK with my husband OLA

…which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

You will also see an opportunity to book a coaching session with us.

Quick housekeeping…

as soon as we say anything that makes sense to you,

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Without any further ado, here is my husband.

This is OLA

I was on the receiving end of those resentments she mentioned earlier and it was not fun as you can probably imagine.

We got married and I flipped my legs on the table and just relaxed like most new husbands.

After all, we are now committed to each other for life. 

PREVIOUS POST: 💔 5 Reasons Your Wife is NOT Affectionate Anymore

What else is there to worry about? So I thought or acted at least.

It’s called complacency and we all do it in one shape, form or the other.  

The truth is that I truly loved my wife and my family even back then but that didn’t stop me from being complacent.

Here is the first thing you should know.

On the other end of being complacent is a person you love who may be feeling undesired by you even if you don’t mean to.

And you know what they say about hurt-people. They hurt people right?

That’s right. But I didn’t plan out how I was going to hurt you back.

It was more-so about two people who entered a whole marriage to wing things along.

I know what you are thinking.

Why didn’t we vet properly and go through premarital counseling?

Not only did we engage in some premarital counseling,

we actually dated and were in a committed relationship for 3 years before we went to the altar.  

Here is what we know today after reviewing, consulting and coaching many people in modern marriages .

People that say “I do” don’t know what they are doing because they couldn’t possibly know.

When you haven’t experienced marriage,

you are in a completely different context and it is what it is.

So when I complained about a few things a few times only to get undesirable responses from my husband,

I continued to feel more unsafe to express myself.

The resentments started to build up naturally.

It is in fact true that unexpressed expectations turn to resentments.

It is paramount that you give your partner freedom to express their expectations and the key is to not take those expectations personally.

In the next video, we discuss how to manage expectations in your marriage because unmanaged expectations are actually worse than unexpressed expectations.

We Got This Comment, 

“My Wife Says She Loves Me But I Don’t Feel it”

TRENDING: 5 Stages that Leads to a Sexless Marriage 💔

Have you ever felt that way?

After our relationship deteriorated so badly, I was still pretty much oblivious.  

To me it wasn’t that difficult.  I just want my wife to want me and it was weird to me that she didn’t get it.

Before I knew it, I started creating room in my life for the idea of entertaining attention that was being deprived on the sidelines.

We never stopped proclaiming our love for each other verbally but I didn’t feel it. 

As a man, I simply normalized it because I grew up with Uncles who had and exercised options when it comes to women; married or not.

Like most men…

*I thought about sexual attraction.

*I wondered why you avoided intimacy and I couldn’t touch you anymore.

*I resented the audacity of committing and not showing up to our marriage.

So of course over time, the disconnection reflected occasionally in my energy and at one point, my wife verbally gave up on us.

The Main Lesson

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

That rock bottom helped me discover the secret. 

A certain type of love required for all marriages is a choice.

However, desire, affection, and attraction are symptoms of a certain consistent way of showing up in your marriage as a man.

A typical wife has a lot on her plate and simply doesn’t get to decide if they want to desire you or not.

Think about it.

In the beginning of your love affair, your wife desired you without knowing enough about you.

Though it wasn’t controlled, it was an attraction.

So we can agree that desire in a marriage is not some logical decision.

At least, that’s not reality.

But it can absolutely be reverse-engineered especially with the history of desire that used to exist between the two of you. 

We know it can happen again but it’s easier said than done.

With proper support it’s absolutely possible because we are a testimony.

But you will have to engage your power and it’s impossible when you are playing the victim.

Check out the next video on the screen for more information about that.

5 Signs Your Wife Never Really Loved You

In this lesson, we will be sharing 5 signs your wife never really loved you. 

If you are here right now, it means you are either in doubt or have reached a stumbling wall in your marriage. 

Marriages are often sweet in the beginning… in the in-love moment right?

But once the excitement and fun is over, most people start to feel like they are in a nightmare.

Ever heard of “marriage is not a bed of roses”

What that simply means is there will be highs and lows in your marriage. 

If you meet anyone in life who tells you their marriage is always rosy, they must be perfect and full of shit.

As we all know, no such human exists in this world.

With all that being said, if all you have experienced in your marriage is judgement, abuse and condemnation, here are 5 signs your wife really never loved you.

My name is LOLA and I am the co-author of the book 

GET MY MARRIAGE BACK with my husband OLA

…which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

Alright this is OLA… 

1st Sign – She Does Not Respect You

Ever heard of a quote that says… 

“When a woman doesn’t respect you, she can’t love you?”

She cannot love at least in the moment in time.

So in recent times, you’ve noticed a few things that come off as disrespectful.

You noticed that your wife puts you down in front of her friends and family and you happen to always be the butt of her jokes.

In fact, she talks about you in a way that almost seems like you disgust her. 

Also, she never lets you get out a thought before she shuts you up and down. 

She just seems like she can’t be bothered by you while she actively complains about everything you do and chastises your every move.

When in argument (which you should be actively avoiding), she is quick to attempt to or put her hands on you. 

I feel your pain; it must hurt.

If this has happened since the beginning, she probably never loved you; but that’s only if it’s been that way from the beginning.

For the most part, it’s never like that from the beginning.  

Something happened at some point and it’s in the best interest of your marriage to find out when because she probably is just not in love with you at the moment.

What’s the next sign?

2nd Sign That She Was Never in Love – Indifference

PREVIOUS POST: Latoya Forever’s 10 Implicit Lessons from the Divorce

Indifference in marriages leads to nowhere but the death of a marriage. 

Marriage requires constant care and effort physically and emotionally. 

If your wife is not interested in what you are doing and she never cares about what you are up to, that’s her being indifferent. 

She doesn’t even acknowledge your presence. 

You can be chatting with the most beautiful woman in the world and she doesn’t care what you say about her.

I know what you are thinking.

“What if she is just being confident and not the jealous type?”

Well I’m sorry to burst your bubble, you are confused because obviously you are here to find some answers right?

Most women are naturally territorial and will protect their marriages if anything feels like encroachment on that territory. 

They are not necessarily trying to own their spouses.  But it’s only natural when a wife is  committed to a marriage enough to want to protect it. 

Studies say most people are not able to come back once indifference sets in. 

If she has always been indifferent, there is a good chance she was never in love with you.

What’s the next sign?

3rd Sign – She Avoids Sex

Sex is an important part of marriage and if its lacking, it makes people cranky. 

There are so many reasons that people end up in sexless marriages such as loss of connection, lack of communication, infidelity, trust issues, low libido and health issues.

Now with all that being said, you feel your situation is different. 

Infact she doesn’t pressure you for sex except when she want to have babies. 

You are probably in deep shit.

When a woman pushes you away when you try to touch her or seems disgusted at the sight of your nakedness, I can respect your concerns.

The worst part for most people experiencing this is when she makes weird excuses like 

“I’m fasting” 

…and she seems to always be on her period.

  • Won’t let you kiss or hold her. 
  • Complains about your hygiene all the time after much effort to clean up. 
  • She visibly stays as far away as possible from you all the time. 

If she has always been this way, she probably was never in love with you.

You see… 

A woman who loves and is in love with her husband will help him in so many ways even when he is falling short. 

She will do her best sexually to let you know she cares for you because it becomes part of how she feels validated. 

Also she will share her thoughts and concerns if something seems inadequate in your intimacy.  

Even if she finds it awkward to say verbally, she will show signs like buying you colognes, body wash, mouthwash, and floss if necessary. 

Your wife who was in love, if ever, would suggest that you both go for regular visits to the gym, dentist and doctor if it comes down to it. 

She would also do all these in a loving way and if you are not oblivious, you will get it. 

My point is that she won’t avoid sex with you if she is in love with you. 

Let’s move on to the next sign…

4th Sign – She Doesn’t Want To Be Seen With You In Public

TRENDING: “My Wife DOESN’T Say I LOVE YOU Back”

Before you start giving excuses that she is an introvert and is too busy with work, can I pause you for a minute? 

Most women love to show off their men,It’s a thing of pride. 

If she is ashamed of being in your presence in public, it’s a red flag. 

So many marriages have broken down to the point where the wife would rather not invite the husband to any outing she goes to. 

When you ask her if you can come, she gets mad and leaves anyway,  

In fact, she is parading herself like a single woman.

What’s the next sign babe?

5th Sign – Future Plans Not Including You

One thing that is common in healthy marriages is that you keep planning on your future together. 

You plan vacations, retirement plans, financial plans and so on together… That’s the expectation of healthy marriages.

A wife who makes major decisions even about the kids without the husband is not only fantasizing about a future without him, she may have already left… spiritually.

As a young girl growing up in a third world country, I heard stories of women who would build a house and not tell their husbands about it. 

I found this to be very strange and I asked my mom why would people keep such secrets from people they claim to love. 

She told me it comes from lack of trust or betrayal from their partners. 

Even though I understood her point, I always thought it was unhealthy to keep such secrets because that is also considered cheating.

If that’s a sign you have experienced, she is not in love with you.

Conclusion & The Main Lesson

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

There are probably many more signs we could share with you that would indicate that your wife was never in love with you.

But they all have this one thing in common.

The sign was always noticeable from the beginning of your relationship or your marriage and you are just getting fed up with them now.

Whatever the signs may be… 

If it wasn’t always there, your wife is just not in love at this moment and there is a chance and hope of restoration if you are willing to do the work.

If she outrightly tells you “I was never in love”, have some self respect and start believing her to open yourself up for a better chance at life of bliss and love.

Inside the book GET MY MARRIAGE BACK, we tell our story and how we were able to come back from a filed divorce.

Download it for free at:

www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

You will also see an opportunity to book a coaching session with us.

15 Warning Signs Your Wife Doesn’t Love You & How to Attract Her Back ❤️

Partners can fall in and out of love during the lifetime of their love affair;

It’s just the reality of life.

There is a big difference between loving a person and being in love with the same person.

Loving a person is a choice born out of a commitment

…while being in-love is a feeling that’s born out of feeling safe and secure enough to be vulnerable.

In essence, your wife can love you and still fall in and out of love with you momentarily throughout the course of your love affair or marriage.

However, the 2 phenomenons, loving and in-love, are often used interchangeably and almost synonymously; there is overlap.

The context of this lesson and the 15 signs that your wife doesn’t love you are more within the context of the in-love experience.

1, She is Distracted Easily Especially with the Phone

Remember those moments when you used to have long conversations for no reasons.

Now, all you’ve got is half or less of that attention because she’s distracted by all the environmental factors around.

She is distracted enough for you to notice

…and the number one factor is basically her phone or smart devices competing with you for attention.

Find out how you have been rewarding the behavior and all you have to do is stop rewarding it.

It could be something as simple as sitting there waiting for her until she notices while you whine and bitch about it.

Remove yourself and find something fun and faithful to do for yourself until she notices it. It’s a form of giving to her. You are giving space for her to miss you.

2, She is UnExcited to See/Hang Out With You

In the beginning, she couldn’t wait to ride out in the city with you but somethings have changed;

That’s boring now.

That doesn’t mean she has fallen out of love with you yet; it means she’s lost interest in that activity.

But I lied.

Falling out of love is a process just as much as falling in love is after you’ve lost the initial passion.

Losing the initial passion is in fact inevitable simply because we are humans and we value the feeling of newness and its accompanying excitement.

As I have just said, it’s really the feeling and not necessarily newness all in itself.

When you understand that, it makes it significantly easy to attract your wife to fall back in love with you.

If your wife no longer appreciates being around you, you are probably rewarding that behavior with making her feel that the opportunity to hangout is readily available.

Your time together is predictable and boring; switch things up in a positive way to create attraction.

3, She Claims That She’s Lost Herself

PREVIOUS POST: 35 “Sneaky Little” Signs Your Wife is Cheating ❤️

When a woman gets into this space, being in love with you is the last thing on her mind.

In fact, there is a good chance she is associating the idea of loving you with a part of herself she has just discovered and doesn’t like.

4, She Doesn’t Care About Your Feelings

There is a lot more to this particular sign being a sign.

Honestly, I would want to know why you’ve got so much time to detect this sign.

But that’s probably a topic for another day.

If she’s coming off as your feelings don’t matter, she is not in love with you at this moment.

You can mitigate against this by leaning in towards her and attempting to listen to her feelings as your personal control mechanism for your relationship with and love for her.

… more like an influence mechanism.

If you do that long enough, she will center back to the girl who used to care about your feelings

…but it requires generosity of patience on your part as a seed.

5, No More Expressions of any Type from Her

One of the last behaviors you ever want from your wife is for her to stop expressing herself.

The level at which a woman expresses herself varies greatly depending on her personality, temperament and other factors.

If she ever gets into a space where she doesn’t feel safe to express her feelings at all, that’s almost equivalent to falling completely out of love with you.

Feeling safe and secure with you is almost equivalent to a woman being in love with you.. She has to be able to express herself freely.

6, She Seems UnHappy Quite Often

You know your wife more than I do.

She may not be able to come out and tell you straight to your face that she’s unhappy.

Neither should you wait for her to do so because it might be too late.

If she is not as excited about life and your relationship anymore, she is very likely falling out of love just as much.

But that’s not necessarily your fault.

In fact, that’s not your job and you have probably been rewarding her for coming off as unhappy.

All you have to do is date her and create another… just another opportunity for sex to happen (again.)

7, She Rolls Her Eyes When it’s Time to Talk

TRENDING: 5 Stages that Leads to a Sexless Marriage 💔

That’s a classic sign, not just of falling out of love with you, but also that she has lost hope that she can ever revive love for you again.

Once a woman rolls eye at every glance of a conversation about your relationship, it means you have a massive up-hill battle in order to attract her back into loving you again.

You still need to communicate but this time around, you need to learn and practice effective communication.

It will involve lots of patience because she is obviously shut down.

8, She Disregards Your Opinion & Advice

When you were dating this lady, your words were the gospel. She trusted every advice you gave her.

In fact, she thought there would never be a guy as smart as you were.

But recently, some events have made her, not only say she doesn’t care for your opinions, but showcase exactly that in her actions.

She dismisses them right in your face without thinking about it at all and it hurts because you can tell that she doesn’t love you anymore.

9, She is Reluctant about Sex & Intimacy

It would be easy to tell you that she is no longer in love with you if she had completely shut down access to sex.

But that’s usually not the case.

The way it works is that your wife is probably engaged in an internal battle between the commitments she made and how she feels.

That means sometimes (not all the time) she would give excuses to avoid sex, intimacy and affection with you.

She may not even realize that she is doing this.

10, She Comes off as a Roommate

Your worst nightmare right?

If she was in love with you, she would be all over you leaking you from head to toe.

But she has been spending a lot of time in alternative rooms of your house instead of with you.

So in actuality, it can be worse than being a roommate. Don’t focus too much energy on this because it’s a symptom.

You need a root cause analysis and the focus on fixing the cause. She is not a roommate; she is only acting like one.

11, Every Expression Feels Like Nagging

You can feel it and you know it

…and recognize the negative vibes in that in the past few weeks whenever she is expressing her emotions to you.

It almost feels like she’s always blaming you for everything but you can’t put your hands on what the issue is.

She has fallen out of love.

12, She’s Highly Sarcastic & Condescending 

“So you won’t take the garbage out tonight again right?”

The tone of that question reveals it as a direct attack against your character; maybe that’s a stretch but…

Compare that to…

“Babe, do you mind getting that garbage out tonight?”

Which of these 2 scenarios showcases a woman who is in love with you?

13, Indifferent and/or Not Jealous

If your woman is still jealous, she is still somewhat in love with you at least. But you don’t want her to be numb to your behaviors.

“I don’t care.”

Yes she does but it’s a cry out for you to see that she does care; you have not been paying attention.

What you really don’t want is her getting into a head space where she doesn’t care and also doesn’t care enough to share that she doesn’t care.

If that happens, she’s lost respect and effectively, love for you… at least now.

14, She Glows More When Around Strangers

Not only does she seem unhappy; she shows you by glowing extra ordinarily when around complete strangers… not necessarily intentionally.

If that happens one time… no big deal but when it happens consistently, she has fallen out of love but there is hope.

15, No Gists After Getting Off the Phone

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

She finishes speaking to a friend on the phone right in front of you, hung up and didn’t say a word about who it was.

Naturally, we share…

“That was Amy; she says hello.”

If she stops sharing, she’s essentially saying you can go to hell.

Conclusion

It is very important to keep in mind that it works against your desires to take these 15 signs too seriously and make them a bigger deal than they actually are.

Whatever is going on is temporary and these are symptoms.

And all you have to do is focus on finding out the underlying causing reasons and adjusting accordingly to attract your wife back.

If you pay the symptoms more attention than necessary, you will more likely push your wife further away and potentially in the arms of another man.

It can’t happen to you?

Well, 70+% of divorces are initiated by women; someone’s wife.

If you want more of this, go to LOLAandOLA.com

And go download the book GET MY MARRIAGE BACK

Absolutely FREE!

If you are interested in a coaching session, just go under the product page at LOLAandOLA.com and I’ll see you at the top.

Frequently Asked Questions [F.A.Q]

How do you know if your wife doesn’t love you anymore?

The 1st way to know that your wife doesn’t love anymore is the fact that you are unsure about where she stands but I have 15 more signs you should know.

What are the signs that your wife doesn’t love you anymore?

The 1st sign of 15 more signs that your wife doesn’t love anymore is your uncertainty about where she stands when it come to your marriage.