In this post, we’re going to dive into 5 powerful signs that your marriage still has hope and what you should do next.
If you’ve been searching for answers, watching breakup advice on TikTok, or listening to friends who just got out of their own relationships, you need to read this first.
Let’s get into it.
1. Your Partner Has Been in Love with You Before
I know what you’re thinking: “Of course, we got married!”
But this isn’t about stating the obvious—it’s about understanding how love actually works.
Love doesn’t disappear overnight.
It’s not like a light switch that turns off permanently.
It’s more like WiFi—sometimes the signal is weak, sometimes it disconnects, but that doesn’t mean it’s gone forever.
One of our clients, Lisa, thought her husband, Mike, had completely fallen out of love with her.
He barely spoke to her, stopped complimenting her, and seemed checked out.
But when she mentioned divorce, his reaction wasn’t anger or indifference—it was pain.
💡 The lesson?
If your spouse reacts emotionally to the idea of separation, it means they still have feelings.
That’s a huge sign that your marriage can be saved.
2. They Still Care Enough to Be Angry
You might think arguing all the time is a bad thing—and sure, constant fighting isn’t healthy.
But the truth is, anger shows that your spouse still cares.
The real danger isn’t arguing. It’s indifference.
When your partner no longer reacts, no longer asks questions, no longer gets frustrated—that’s when they’ve checked out.
But if they’re still passionate, still engaging (even in frustration), that means emotions are still in play.
🔥 Passion—even in conflict—means the relationship isn’t over.
3. You Still Live in the Same House
It might feel like your partner is distant, resentful, or emotionally unavailable.
But if they’re still choosing to share a home with you, despite everything, it’s a big deal.
When people are truly done, they leave—even if it’s just to crash on a friend’s couch for a while.
If they’re still under the same roof, it’s not just about convenience.
It means, on some level, they’re still tied to this life with you.
💡 Use this time wisely. You still have a chance to reconnect and rebuild.
4. Your Lives Are Infrastructurally Connected
I know, “infrastructural” sounds like a term from a government report, but stick with me.
If your lives are deeply intertwined—finances, mutual friends, routines, responsibilities—that means walking away isn’t simple.
And while staying together just for convenience isn’t the goal, it does mean your spouse isn’t fully detached.
One of our clients, Erica, told us, “We barely talk, but when I mentioned splitting accounts, he got super uncomfortable.”
That discomfort?
That’s a sign.
Because when someone is truly done, they don’t flinch at separation. They’re already mentally packed.
💡 If the idea of fully disconnecting still affects them, there’s hope.
5. You Have Kids Together
Before someone in the comments says, “Staying together for the kids is toxic,”relax—that’s not what we’re saying.
But having children together isn’t just about responsibility.
It’s a deep, lifelong connection.
One of our clients, Mark, was about to sign divorce papers until his child asked him, “Are you and mommy still best friends?”
That question hit hard. Because kids see everything.
They feel the shifts. And sometimes, realizing that is enough to make a couple try one more time.
💡 Kids don’t fix marriages, but they do remind couples of the love that once existed.
What Now?
If you recognized even one of these signs in your marriage, that means there’s still a chance.
The next step? Knowing what to do about it.
🎥 Watch our next video here: What to Do When Your Marriage Feels Hopeless(Coming soon)
Or, if you need a step-by-step plan to reconnect with your spouse, get our free guide here:
Before you go—drop a comment below: Do you think staying together for the kids is the right move, or is it just delaying the inevitable? Let’s discuss!
📌 Share this with someone who needs to hear it. You never know who might be struggling in silence.
In this lesson, you will discover how to handle marriage separation in order to ultimately make the outcome most positive and fruitful regardless of how much pain you are dealing with.
I am sorry for whatever the reason is that you are relating to this extremely important topic; my understanding is that it’s never easy, simple, or blissful.
Most people don’t go into a marriage with the purpose or intentions of separating. I would, however, argue that many are indirectly doing exactly that.
I’ll explain.
We’ve got tons of separation and reconciliation stories we can share with you to emphasize some of the patterns we continue to share with you in these lessons.
But we want to extract this particular lesson from just 2 stories.
As usual, all the advice we offer is easier said than done but they are worthwhile.
From the first story, Clara reported to us that her husband slept with someone else during separation and lied about it during and after reconciliation.
I know what you are thinking.
How could she ever possibly trust again? She can actually.
But wait.
We also have Christine who is worried that her children will hate her and their dad for separating.
Even though the kids have accepted her excuse for sleeping on the sofa (she told them “mommy needs her space”), she is afraid that they will start to recognize the lack of intimacy or affection at some point.
Honestly, that is probably the least of her issues.
While some may be good at hiding the pain, separation is never easy for either of the parties involved; husband or wife.
Many of today’s modern men and women lack the patience level required to see it that way because they want all the answers to life questions faster, logically, and now.
They often opt-in for pointing fingers at everything and everyone else.
So in today’s lesson, I want to point out 7 tips to help anyone in any phase of navigating separation in marriage in order to make the most out of it.
One of the tools professionally offered to help with separation are letters or contracts that state what the rules and boundaries are during this process.
But I want to emphasize more on the double edge nature of emphasis on rules and boundaries.
Of course, these are designed to not be crossed.
But for quite a significant percentage of people, the emphasis on rules and boundaries tends to create attention for it and sadly, a heightened desire to cross them.
This is especially true when people are going through an experience that puts them in potentially the weakest space they’ve ever been in a lifetime.
So I want you to treat rules and boundaries with care especially during separation in marriage.
Actually, I’d rather you put more attention into yourself, self-esteem, self-worth, and understanding that the existing version of your marriage is over.
If you do decide to stay together, it should be a completely different version of your marriage.
It will make building trust a lot more easier because what happened with the other person during separation becomes less of a factor for the future.
I’m not saying this to encourage bad and sloppy behavior during separation but to encourage you to retain your much-needed power for your future with or without your present partner.
This is the tip for Clara whose husband slept with someone else during separation and lied about it.
As far as I am concerned, it’s more so an old problem that was never solved.
It’s an unrealistic expectation problem.
When in separation from your marriage, anything should not go but it could because it usually would. “Should“ is usually not the reality.
Tip #6 – Why
I want you to identify why you and/or your spouse have opted for separation in order to support the process with a purpose.
Any endeavor in life without an explicitly identifiable purpose is 100% destructive whether you know it or not.
Unfortunately, many people call for separation when they are in a confused state in an attempt to run away from pain or perceived pain.
When people want separation from a partner or the other way around, they are also and often caught up in their feelings to a large extent.
So the idea of setting a time or term on the process is almost an oxymoron because if they could do that, they would just fix the marriage.
But that’s why I am pointing it out.
If you want to make the most positive outcome from this often unpleasant experience, I want you to be intentional.
Starting with yourself, I want you to identify and determine how long you want to give this separation process before attempting a decision to stay together or move forward.
That will help tremendously with your personal self-esteem because of the element of certainty and put you more so in the driver’s seat.
Tip #4 – Death & Growth
There is no in-between.
Your marriage is either dying or growing at any point in time.
I am aware that you probably already know this but I also know that in the mental space of a person going through a separation, a reminder is probably necessary.
Christine’s problem is not her children… that’s the least of her problems.
The children, by default, will have their own trauma carried over into adulthood.
Of course, parents should not be adding on to that.
But as you can see, Christine is adding on to it, maybe unknowingly, but for reasons best known to her by leaving her matrimonial bed for the couch.
She has her legitimate reasons; I’m sure.
It’s not what the kids are saying or hearing.
It is much more like what they are watching, how they will subconsciously process and interpret them, their personality, their temperament, 2,000 other signals…
And how they choose to live life as adults.
The only part of that you will be able to, not control but, influence is how you are living your life, maybe a little of what you say to them but more like how you nurture your marriage from what they can see.
So if you are not capable of nurturing your marriage without asking for space, they are seeing and learning that or the unhealthy and extreme opposite of that no matter how old they are.
Speaking of space…
Tip #2 – The Double-Edged & Deadly Nature of Space
While space can actually be a useful tool for mental health, it’s important to know that you are also creating a void and effectively allowing in other energy that may not necessarily be healthy.
Sure, you can eventually hold your partner accountable for any bad behavior or transgression during that separation process.
It is worth noting that holding other adults accountable all by itself has massive limitations when it comes to romantic relationships and getting what you want.
It has become pretty normal to ask for space in a marriage.
But let’s all remember that 50% divorce rate, broken families, and fatherless children are also becoming the norm.
Tip #1 – Duty
I was talking to one of my boys who is in today’s dating market.
He went ahead and told me in so many ways how modern women lack a sense of duty when it comes to the role of a wife.
This has been simply his experience and I don’t see that as an absolute truth. But I’ve also seen enough to know that this is true to a large extent.
70-80% of divorces are initiated by women and it goes up to 90% for college and university-educated modern women.
I personally think that the breakdown in family leadership has contributed the most to these unpleasant statistics.
But I also think it will help tremendously if men have the help of the modern women who want marriage and the family structure in bringing a sense of duty to the “table” while we also continue to address the leadership issues.
After all, both the men and women (and especially children who are the leaders of tomorrow) benefit from the love and connection but also the long-term benefit of a family structure.
Duty and not the momentary feelings have been responsible for all structures that stand the test of time.
It’s time to work together, sadly, on the structure-building end of things.
Sad because I think this is the sole responsibility of men particularly from a place of leadership with or without permission from women.
Nonetheless, a sense of duty will reduce the number of women running for the hills at the slightest instance of emotional difficulty in a marriage.
I want to encourage men to work on updating our family leadership skills for the 21st century; it’s pretty lazy to keep referencing the society from 100 years ago.
And it is highly dangerous to count on women to intentionally bring a sense of duty into the family structure beyond just a bonus if that ever happens.
I don’t think a typical woman is capable of that. I also subscribe to “never say never.”
So tell me in the comment area one additional bonus tip or question to help more people become better on the other end of separation in a marriage.
Also, check out the 30 minutes free coaching and discovery session that we will give you access to right after the download.
Hit the like button and check out the video on the screen for more information on how to rekindle and build an awesome marriage and legacy without being a simp or a pick-me.
In this lesson, we will be sharing five rules to follow if you have been separated for a while but things are starting to seem great between you two again; these rules will help prevent sabotaging the attraction.
So Calvin has been separated from his wife for eight months now, hardly talking, haven’t seen each other or interacted at all.
The loss of their pet brought them back together and they are now in talking terms; they are also hanging out every now and then and enjoying it.
But he is afraid that their toxic behavior will creep back in if they go all-in and start talking about their marriage again.
How do you make sure you don’t mess things up if separation from your marriage is starting to work in favor of the marriage?
Shall we?
Yes. My name is OLA.
This is actually good news; Calvin has clearly done a great job to get in this space.
The rest of the story now depends on Calvin’s ability to follow these simple, lightweight but crucial rules that will reduce his chances of self-sabotaging.
By the way, there are family laws that guide separation and divorces, so it never hurts to seek legal counsel in the process.
One of the things that you have likely taken for granted in your relationship with your wife are the little moments of just “being.”
What often happens after separation is that you start to value the little things, gestures and moments… I want you to set a plan in motion to keep it that way forever.
A direct cause of anxiety, torture and suffering in relationships and marriages is the obsession with the past and future.
It makes you feel that the grass may be greener on the other side. And then you start to fantasize and compare your partners or relationship to others.
Rule #4 – Focus On The Upsides & The Positives.
Still in the spirit of gratitude, I want you to let go and release yourself from the terrible experience that may have led to the separation from your wife in the first place.
As usual, this is easier said than done but stay tuned for rule #1.
It will help you prepare properly for the release and re-focusing all that energy on celebrating the good times and experiences you are starting to recreate with your wife again.
For now, I want you to focus on everything about her that you fell in love with on day-1. Add them to these same good experiences you are having right now.
A terrible mistake that a lot of married couples make is to abandon the underlying relationship while stressing each other out about the “marriage” title.”
While marriage is a beautiful thing, it will stress your relationship out if you put it on a pedestal above your friendship, unity and freedom.
Marriage has become an ideology and a religion that many people would kill the actual relationship with their spouse for.
Let go of all extreme ideologies and refocus back on rebuilding friendship with your wife one moment at a time.
Rule #2 – Co-Mingling Fear & Love Is Not Sustainable
Naturally, your guards and all kinds of walls are up when you find yourself and marriage in separation; I understand but that’s fear.
Fear is an emotion that is natural to all of us when we go through traumatic experiences in life.
So it makes sense that a part of you doesn’t want to be too forward with talking about serious topics like marriage, what happened, and getting back together officially.
But I want to share a technique with you that works all the time.
It is based on the simple fact that fear and love cannot coexist in the same space over a long period of time. One of them will prevail.
So it is okay to shoot your shot as soon as you feel safe enough to do so without rushing it but again, what does that mean?
At this stage of rekindling things, focus on dating and courting her fearlessly provided she is really the one that you want on any given day; don’t worry about tomorrow.
Wait for her to desire the idea of making things official again. She needs to feel safe and secure and she will bring it up and send you clear signals.
Declare rule 2 to 5 useless without rule #1. She and the relationship will test you over and over and again so you need emotional strength and intelligence.
She will not be testing you deliberately for the most part so you do not get to judge her; it’s the nature of a typical woman within a romantic context.
Are you going to be man enough to pass these tests while attracting respect, trust, submission and passionate sexual experience with the woman you love?
There is a massive opportunity playing out right now. Are you prepared for it?
If you feel we can help you personally, feel free to go to www.GetMyMarriageBack.com, download the free book, and book a free 30 minutes coaching session with us.
Don’t forget to hit the like button and check out the video on the screen for more information on how to build attraction out in your marriage from all ends.
When partners have not been able to see eye-to-eye for 6 months where at least one person feels drained, space may not be a bad thing.
This is a sign that at least one person is taking the other for granted. This behavior may not change if that person does not smell the idea of losing each other.
Humans respond to consequences more than they respond to rules camouflaged as values.
Sign #3 – Help Refusal
You’ve asked for help by way of therapy or counseling but your spouse continues to reject it.
Alexis’ husband thinks they can work on the issues by themselves but never initiate the work and refuses therapy.
When one partner is crying out for help and the other is oblivious and ignoring it, that’s a roadblock that only consequences can open up.
If the refusing partner does not taste what it may feel like to lose each other, change is unlikely.
So this may be a sign of a need for separation.
However, individual therapy may be sufficient to learn how to seduce your partner back into a loving space for the marriage again.
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Sign #2 – Empty Cycle of Promises
Long stretch of broken cycle of empty promises creates resentments. It can also create low self-esteem and worth for the crying partner.
It makes them question if they are not enough to be valued by someone who claims to love them.
It’s only a matter of time; something has to give.
The marriage may have to give at least a trial separation in order for partners to value each other and not take each other for granted again.
As humans, we sometimes have a hard time valuing anything or anyone that’s readily available.
When you combine this with 2 or 3 other signs, it is really bad and things will likely not change for the better unless it gets worse first.
A partner who is crying for long enough will naturally have a hard time maintaining feelings of affection for a person who they feel has been taking them for granted.
This is especially true when a woman doesn’t feel heard; you cannot penetrate anything.
Hit the like button and check out the video on the screen for more information on how you may be able to stop separation and divorce in its tracks with seduction skills.
The affair will never be worth what you have already shared with your spouse
But it is important that you showcase being unbothered by anything or anyone outside of the relationship you have with him or her.
The worst thing you can do is to spend your space apart bickering about affairs; it will only expand and you will push your spouse further away.
(3) It Takes One But…
Insisting that you stay together is not going to help save your marriage as much as attracting your spouse back.
It only takes one person to create attraction but that requires a process and insisting otherwise will interrupt that process of attraction.
Instead, let go as it only takes “you” to build attraction which is the single most important thing that is missing right now.
(4) Don’t Use/Abuse Children
The marriage separation period will come with a lot of temptations
And one of them is trying to inflict emotional abuse and blackmail on your spouse.
Another one is abusing your children as a tool to accomplish that goal.
It always backfires.
The most common one, believe it or not, is not as obvious as you may think.
It happens more in the form of manipulation under the pretense of protecting the child or children.
What you want to do is stay focused on what you want and don’t want
And leave the children out of it even if that’s painful for you emotionally.
Your emotional feelings are temporary.
The only exception to this, is physical abuse of the children; in that case, it would be non-negotiable to get the children removed from harm’s way.
(5) After 3 Months, You are Free
It’s not advisable to engage in transgressions with other people during separation but we are all humans.
Technically, you are free to move on after 3 months of lack of sexual relationship when it is not medically related in my personal opinion.
But also in my personal opinion, the most profitable and worthwhile thing to work on in this period is self growth.
If you don’t, transgression and the lifestyle that comes with it can destroy everything you care about.
It can be even worse when it’s done in retaliation.
If you decide to move on, seek legal counsel to avoid exposing you and/or your children to unfavorable legal loopholes.
(6) More Actions/Less Talking
That should be pretty clear but be careful not to confuse certain inaction with emotional centered-ness.
For example, don’t abandon your children and/or your normal responsibilities in the name of less talking.
That would be irresponsible and such behavior will continue to lower your spouse’s attraction towards you.
Just keep in mind that changed behavior is the best apology.
So for the most part, verbal apology will work against you because of the expectation for instant results.
Stay away from arguments, approval seeking behaviors and focus on building your self during this period.
(7) You Allow Disrespect
If there are any type of disrespect and/or disregard from your spouse during your separation, ask yourself first,
“How did I put myself in that position?”
“How did I allow that”?
You need to take the time to extract the answer to that question as it will help with clarity as you move into the new phase of your marriage.
The bottom-line and the result of this exercise should be that no one should be taking anyone for granted again.
When you take yourself for granted, your spouse will see it as a permission to take you for granted if they are weak like most people.
(8) Never Bribe for Sex
Don’t manipulate with whatever you do for your spouse, children and family at this time as a bribe for sex.
It will work against your desire.
Do it if you find it honorable to do and you don’t have to if you don’t feel like it.
The worst thing you can do is do it and then blame them for not reciprocating.
(9) Work on Yourself
That should be self explanatory.
Use the marriage separation period to build yourself and attract the love and affection that you deserve.
It’s simple but I agree…
It’s easier said than done.
Below is a question for us to address with this lesson…
“ I really enjoy your content on IG: @LOLAandOLA and I need to ask you a question.
In April 2017, my wife said she wanted space for 2 weeks because we were not in a good place and she was distracted by an affair at the time.
Initially, I objected and wanted us to get a fresh new start.
She did not return and recently found out she is in a full blown now having sexually intimate moments with her partner on the same bed as my 6 years old daughter who told me she’s uncomfortable.
As a christian, am I totally free without guilt to remarry even though we are not officially divorced.
I’m not going to crawl and beg her.
I did all I could to fight and save the marriage. But it’s clearly not working out.
She finds joy in disrespecting me and talking to me anyhow, rudely and distastefully.
Mind you, I am financially okay and earn 8-figures per annum.
I still give her monthly up-keep, 120K per month, for my daughters, excluding fees, clothing… until 2019 January when I stopped for many reasons.”
Enjoy the video.
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