In this lesson, you will discover, not just how many marriages end in divorce, but how it is different for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd marriages.
I want to blame someone for divorces.
I will also reveal some deeper insights to these lagging indicators which is a limitation to the only numbers and percentages that we know as I reveal in this lesson.
A few days ago, I was listening to a livestream on Youtube in the men’s community called the manosphere or “red pill” as they discussed the prevalent and unfortunate gender wars.
Before stumbling into this community a few months ago, I didn’t realize that there were so many men that could come off as so hateful to women.
I’ve always known about some women’s communities even as far back as when I was a child in the late 80’s to the 90’s.
It’s mostly women who have had a certain type of experience in marriage who end up in these communities.
I always knew that men had their own struggles. But little did I know that some gurus had found ways to capitalize on it and build extremely toxic communities.
In the women’s communities, the rhetoric is typically “Men are Scum.” They go back and forth with real-life stories emphasizing this belief.
What I found with the men’s community is the “logical claim” to avoid marriage altogether because of these first 5 stats, percentages, and figures.
Let’s dive right in.
Stat #5 – 70% of Divorces are Initiated By Women.
This data is according to a study conducted by the American Sociological Association in 2015, which by the way, the number jumps to 90% for university-educated women.
So the logic for the men in the red pill community is this.
“If there is a 70% chance that the woman I love with my life will suddenly pull the plug for no damn reason, why should I get married?”
While that question is valid, it is also flawed in many ways.
What if we assume that there are reasons that you as a mortal being just couldn’t see? What if the question changes to…
“Do I have some type of control or at least influence over my wife’s experiences and choices to stay a lifetime in our marriage or not?”
Well, it is easier for certain weak people to run for the exit at any level of exposure to potential pain and it’s harder to ask questions that true leaders continue to build empires with.
There is absolutely room for true leaders who are willing to learn what it takes to make the modern woman trust, respect and submit to the authority of marriage.
It’s really this simple. The more empowered your wife feels the less she will tolerate certain types of disregard that women endured 50 years ago.
As a man, you cannot afford to show up halfway in your masculine core to your marriage.
It has nothing to do with honesty, integrity, and any obvious words people tend to throw around in these conversations. Those are bare minimums for any human being
It has everything to do with how you are able to make your particular wife feel safe, secure, and loved consistently. Consistency is an important ingredient.
If you are a typical woman, it’s about engaging the power of the almighty feminine energy and your awareness of how you can make it work for your marriage.
Stat #4 – 45% Of All First Marriages End In Divorce
I find it interesting that most people don’t dwell on this number going into their first relationship or marriage. But it becomes a thing, again, after certain types of experiences.
Also, this number is often inflated to 50% when these toxic online communities utilize these stats as talking points and you can imagine how scary that is.
Depending on your level of expectations of marriage as a bed of roses,
hearing these stats can throw you off a healthy base.
And it’s even worse when the audience has experienced heartbreak at any level. They will naturally have their guards up.
With my experience and expertise,
I’ve found that such guards end up falling over and killing every chance of an awesome life and love for the person who puts them up.
Stat #3 – 60% Of Second Marriages End In Divorce
There are many people who end up in these toxic online communities wasting away time they could have been spending building themselves.
Eventually, they come back to being human and falling in love prematurely without healing. So they end up creating even worse statistics than that of first marriages.
Avoiding marriage is essentially a false sense of security. As we now know, love, connection, and contribution to others are basic human emotional needs.
Instead of avoiding it, it’s better to lean in and learn how long-lasting marriages work and what makes them work.
Running from marriage for most people is like running away from your own shadow; you will end up coming off as crazy and potentially hurting yourself along with others.
Stat #2 – 73% Of All Third Marriages End In Divorce
As you can see, it just gets worse.
Contrary to “know it all’s”, people don’t enjoy jumping from marriages to marriages only to destroy it all over and create even worse statistics.
It’s a void that they are trying to fill; love, connection, companionship, contribution, and significance.
These are accomplished through relationships and more so fruitfully through long-term relationships and marriages.
Where they get it wrong is by not healing their pain properly with time, knowledge, mentorship, coaching, counseling and/or therapy.
Again, running from a marriage without proper self-reflection is like running from your own shadows. You will start looking crazy, hurt more people and yourself.
Stat #1 – Correlation Between Economy & Divorce Rate
The United States has the 6th highest divorce rate in the world.
Coincidentally, or is it? The United States is also the 6th greatest nation on earth presently.
So is there a correlation between economic empowerment or not?
There is and it’s not necessarily just economic… but all types of empowerment (especially social empowerment).
For many men, this means we should discourage women from being empowered. That may be a “logical solution” but is that a holistic solution?
Doesn’t that sound like a quick easy exit or escapism from much-required work?
Is logic not also a function of the human emotional and innate need for growth for both man and woman? Don’t we all want some level of more freedom in our lives?
So tell me in the comment area what your thoughts are around this topic
so that we can create more videos enlightening and empowering ourselves as people in modern society.
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…on how to rekindle and build an awesome marriage and legacy without being a simp or a pick-me.