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Marriage Advice 💔 The 5 Best Advices Ever For Modern Marriages

In this lesson, you will discover some of the best marriage advice you will ever stumble into for modern marriages, traditional marriage in modern age and for newlyweds.  This is going to present a completely new perspective for you.

The other day, I was watching a video by one of the black manosphere leaders, Oshay Duke Jackson, interviewing a guy.  He claims that the root cause of his divorce was when his wife started listening to Amanda Seales.

While I agree that the trigger to the divorce could have been random media platform rhetorics, I disagree that it is the root cause.  The root cause is always a function of both parties involved.

Marriage is an institution and it remains exactly that even as the human species continues to evolve overtime.  

Fortunately or Unfortunately, the humans in a marriage control what they make of a marriage and therefore cannot not blame the institution of marriage when it is bad.  

It is also not wise to blame any entity outside of the individuals.  Yes, I said it’s a function of the parties involved but blame, guilt, condemnation and judgement will always work against the underlying relationship of a marriage.

With that being said, these are the 5 best pieces of advice I can share with any marriage at any stage including newlyweds in the modern age.

Marriage Advice #5 – Your Vows Meant Nothing

PREVIOUS POST: 5 Things That Will Make Your Wife Miss You During Separation 💔

People who say “I do” simply do not know what they are doing.  

I know that may sound heartbreaking to you but it is the truth.

What they were “doing” for the most part is the wedding ceremony and that’s regardless of how much premarital counseling they may have gone through.

The issue isn’t that the parties were pretending.  It’s simply that they couldn’t possibly have enough context to comprehend what they are getting into.

Marriage vows are beautiful and you may have put on a great show for the guests.  

The real test starts on the day after and most people, we now know, will not honor the vows 100% of the time.  It’s obvious with the divorce rate in virtually every society today.

So, do not set yourself up with expectations around your vows or the present state of your spouse.

On the flip side of that, it is not unwise to hold yourself accountable to the vows you took as it is simply the honorable thing to do.  

But do not assume that you can pour from an empty cup as you are not God… It’s going to be a constant effort of building yourself.

Marriage Advice #4 – Communication is NOT The Key

I know that may come as a shock to you.  But here is why.

What most people refer to as communication is the act of talking.  

Not only is that not the dictionary meaning of communication, effective communication is the actual key. The dictionary meaning of communication is the exchanging of information.  

Sure, in telecommunication as a technology, either sending or receiving individually counts as communication but in romance, it is not.

Effective communication in romance is 80% listening, 10% confirmation of understanding and 10% sharing of your personal insights and opinions.

This is especially true if you identify as the masculine core (not necessarily the man) presently in the marriage.  

It is your responsibility to set the tone for effective communication between you and your spouse.

Marriage Advice #3 – Engage God And/Or Gratitude

TRENDING: 7 ULTIMATE Guide to SAVE & FIX a Broken Marriage

One of the false messages out there that’s killing a lot of marriages before the start is the idea that love is not enough.

I will talk to you if you don’t identify as a christian in a minute.  But if you are a christian, you should never join the “love is not enough” gang.

As a christian, you should have subscribed to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8… 

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

If you haven’t seen this played out and tracked in your marriage on your part, you have no rights to claim that love is not enough.

However, as humans, patience has a threshold.  

So you need to humble yourself and tap into additional patience by putting God a.k.a the only source of unconditional love at the center of your marriage.

If you do not identify as a christian, I am simply talking about an attitude of Gratitude all around.  

When you look at things from a lens of “it can always be worse, you will create and have better and better experiences in your marriage.

This is the closest you can get to unconditional love which is a necessary ingredient in creating an awesome marriage.

Marriage Advice #2 – Personal Purpose

Infinite patience is a necessary ingredient to make a good marriage because your core beliefs will be tested by the differences between you and your spouse.

Now waiting around and calling it patience will eat you up because you as a human being are simply incapable of that level of patience.

But with your engagement in personal purpose and life mission (which should be bigger than life itself), you will expend some of your time in that space.

Then you leave some room for love, attraction and sexual  polarity to stay high within your marriage.  

While a spouse who claims to love can dump you, a spouse who is attracted to you will not dump you.

Marriage Advice #1 – Self Love

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You cannot give what you don’t have.  You have to make it a priority to make sure that you are good and full of love as an individual.

When you love yourself, it will create a downstream effect of loving your spouse from a space of abundance which is described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 that I quoted earlier..

When you attempt loving from a place of lack, it creates chaos.

Here Is A Bonus Piece Of Advice

In marriage, remember this scripture. 

Ephesians 6:12 – “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

Emotional intelligence will go a long way when it is present in your marriage.  It’s not the same as emotional expressions.

So tell me in the comment area which of these 5 pieces of advice you find most valuable and will be applying so we can see about diving a little deeper.

Don’t forget to download your free book.

Get My Marriage Back at:

www.GetMyMarriageBack.com 

Also check out the 30 minutes free coaching and discovery session that we will give you access to right after the download.

Hit the like button and check out the video on the screen for more information on how to rekindle and build an awesome marriage and legacy without being a simp or a pick-me.

“My Wife DISRESPECTS Me” 9 Points Advice for you Especially in Separation… ❤️

In this lesson, I am sharing a 9-point marriage separation advice in order to give you the best chance to attract your spouse back in love with you.

At the bottom of this page, you will find the question that inspired this lesson.

Marriage Separation Advice - My wife disrespects me

(1) Give Yourself Space

It’s most likely that your spouse has asked you for space.

So if that’s the case, it’s very important that you don’t see it as a bad idea because frankly you probably need the space more.

You just can’t see that, because rejection breeds obsession.

Take advantage of the space apart to build a better “you”.

(2) Don’t Overrate Affairs

While your spouse may be distracted by an emotional or physical affair with another person, don’t highlight it.

The affair will never be worth what you have already shared with your spouse

But it is important that you showcase being unbothered by anything or anyone outside of the relationship you have with him or her.

The worst thing you can do is to spend your space apart bickering about affairs; it will only expand and you will push your spouse further away.

(3) It Takes One But…

Insisting that you stay together is not going to help save your marriage as much as attracting your spouse back.

It only takes one person to create attraction but that requires a process and insisting otherwise will interrupt that process of attraction.

Instead, let go as it only takes “you” to build attraction which is the single most important thing that is missing right now.

(4) Don’t Use/Abuse Children

The marriage separation period will come with a lot of temptations

And one of them is trying to inflict emotional abuse and blackmail on your spouse.

Another one is abusing your children as a tool to accomplish that goal.

It always backfires.

The most common one, believe it or not, is not as obvious as you may think.

It happens more in the form of manipulation under the pretense of protecting the child or children.

What you want to do is stay focused on what you want and don’t want

And leave the children out of it even if that’s painful for you emotionally.

Your emotional feelings are temporary.

The only exception to this, is physical abuse of the children; in that case, it would be non-negotiable to get the children removed from harm’s way.

(5) After 3 Months, You are Free

It’s not advisable to engage in transgressions with other people during separation but we are all humans.

Technically, you are free to move on after 3 months of lack of sexual relationship when it is not medically related in my personal opinion.

But also in my personal opinion, the most profitable and worthwhile thing to work on in this period is self growth.

If you don’t, transgression and the lifestyle that comes with it can destroy everything you care about.

It can be even worse when it’s done in retaliation.

If you decide to move on, seek legal counsel to avoid exposing you and/or your children to unfavorable legal loopholes.

(6) More Actions/Less Talking

That should be pretty clear but be careful not to confuse certain inaction with emotional centered-ness.

For example, don’t abandon your children and/or your normal responsibilities in the name of less talking.

That would be irresponsible and such behavior will continue to lower your spouse’s attraction towards you.

Just keep in mind that changed behavior is the best apology.

So for the most part, verbal apology will work against you because of the expectation for instant results.

Stay away from arguments, approval seeking behaviors and focus on building your self during this period.

(7) You Allow Disrespect

If there are any type of disrespect and/or disregard from your spouse during your separation, ask yourself first,

“How did I put myself in that position?”

“How did I allow that”?

You need to take the time to extract the answer to that question as it will help with clarity as you move into the new phase of your marriage.

The bottom-line and the result of this exercise should be that no one should be taking anyone for granted again.

When you take yourself for granted, your spouse will see it as a permission to take you for granted if they are weak like most people.

(8) Never Bribe for Sex

Don’t manipulate with whatever you do for your spouse, children and family at this time as a bribe for sex.

It will work against your desire.

Do it if you find it honorable to do and you don’t have to if you don’t feel like it.

The worst thing you can do is do it and then blame them for not reciprocating.

(9) Work on Yourself

That should be self explanatory.

Use the marriage separation period to build yourself and attract the love and affection that you deserve.

It’s simple but I agree…

It’s easier said than done.

Below is a question for us to address with this lesson…

“ I really enjoy your content on IG: @LOLAandOLA and I need to ask you a question.

In April 2017, my wife said she wanted space for 2 weeks because we were not in a good place and she was distracted by an affair at the time.

Initially, I objected and wanted us to get a fresh new start.

She did not return and recently found out she is in a full blown now having sexually intimate moments with her partner on the same bed as my 6 years old daughter who told me she’s uncomfortable.

As a christian, am I totally free without guilt to remarry even though we are not officially divorced.

I’m not going to crawl and beg her.

I did all I could to fight and save the marriage. But it’s clearly not working out.

She finds joy in disrespecting me and talking to me anyhow, rudely and distastefully.

Mind you, I am financially okay and earn 8-figures per annum.

I still give her monthly up-keep, 120K per month, for my daughters, excluding fees, clothing… until 2019 January when I stopped for many reasons.”

Enjoy the video.

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UNPOPULAR OPINIONS: Jackie Aina vs Dyna Ekwueme | THE FINALE ❤️ Get My Marriage Back SPECIAL

On August 16th, 2016, Popular YouTuber and Influencer Jacki Aina @jackieaina published a video titled “Unpopular Opinions: Marrying Young and Societal Pressures | Jackie Aina”.

In the video, she expressed how she is very happy with the new wave of women who do not feel pressured into the ideal or old ideal of a woman to submits into the pressure of being a 2nd hand in a marriage.

Apparently, she had not so pleasant experience being married in her early 20’s.

Recently in her early 30’s, she just got engaged to be married again.

Another Nigerian popular YouTube Influencer Dyna Ekwueme @dynaekwueme has chosen to take a seemingly polar opposite stand on the issue.

On August 20th 2019, She published a video response or reaction to Jackie Aina’s video titled “UNPOPULAR OPINIONS: MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR JACKIE AINA.”

Inside her video, she expressed reasons for the societal pressure and encouraged young marriage.

She out rightly said married does define women.

She in fact said it can make or break a woman.

Since then, she has received lots of backlash on this issue.

Lola and OLA find it interesting that 2 people with no extensive experience in my marriage have so much opinions about it.

The are both either right or both wrong. Find out in the special edition of GET MY MARRIAGE BACK which one is it.

Enjoy!

P.S This is a conversation. Let’s continue in the comment area.

7 ULTIMATE Guide to SAVE & FIX a Broken Marriage

In this guide, you will discover how to save your marriage, how to fix a broken marriage and how to keep divorce far away forever.

1st Key (How to Save my Marriage) is God …. Not what you think…

I promised that if you stick to the end of this guide, it’s gonna make sense.

This is not some gimmicky thing that you see in most religions setting where we say it’s just “God.”

But trust that when we say number 1 is God, there is a practical reason behind it.

When you’re going through hard and tough times,

  • Losing yourself
  • Losing your spouse,
how to save my marriage

Who do you fall back on?

  • It’s not gonna be family.
  • It’s not gonna be friends.

Nobody’s gonna be there for you, even though they’re gonna try and be there for you.

They are going to think that they are there for you in their own way.

But they will be selfish.

It’s only God has that will become your source of unconditional love.

The alternative is to start telling the world that love is not enough.

So that was the only thing we could depend on for the much needed unconditional love.

This is why God comes first.

When your spouse checks out of you, you will feel like you have a broken marriage.

Click Here | How to my your marriage when one wants out…

If you are asking “how to save my marriage?” …your marriage is clearly not 100% of what you thought God ordained it to be.

The only thing that can fix it is unconditional love, a higher version of yourself or God.

Real love.

Not the “in-love” experience.

That’s different from real love.

You had the “in-love” experience with your spouse when you just met.

But you didn’t even know yourselves; the butterflies and all those things….

Both of you didn’t know yourselves.

So naturally, you had the “in-love” experience.

But you got to a point and got tested.

The only thing that can withstand that test is unconditional love.

The only source of unconditional love is God.

In fact, God is love.

So making God, the higher version of yourself than the physical, the center core, the spinal cord and foundation of your marriage is key.

When things go really bad, it’s the number one place you want to run to.

Essentially, you need to make sure that your spiritually health is very strong.

You got tested and you are being tested and more tests will come.

You’re probably going to a very horrible situation already.

If you have a strong spiritual connection, you’ll be able to attach the right meanings to whatever you’re going through.

We all go through stuff in life, don’t we?

What separates the losers from the winners are the meanings they attach to the things they go through.

That’s what’s gonna determine how you’re gonna come out on the other side because there’s another side.

Either you do it right or wrong, there is another side.

But what the other side looks like is gonna be dependent on your spiritual connection with your God so you can create what we call unconditional love.

Your spouse checked out on you.

That’s why you’re going to what you’re going through.

Maybe you’re the one that say you don’t want any parts of the marriage any more.

They still checked out on you.

That’s why you say you don’t want any more, right?

But even if it’s the other way around, it is the same thing.

Basically, it’s a 50-50 contribution to come to that place where you are.

The only thing that can help you at this point in time is to give them what they want.

If you feel like your spouse is hurting you, how could you possibly love someone that’s hurting you?

You’re not in love, naturally. But you can have unconditional love for them.

You can take the time to see what may seem like wickedness as a weakness, right?

You can let God do all the work because…

A lot of time, you’re probably in the way of God trying to help you fix that.

Have you read the book “Get My Marriage Back”?

The 2nd of the 7 keys guide to save my marriage… can be found at this post….

Frequently asked Question on How to Save a Failing Marriage…

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FREE TODAY

Success with Modern Romance in 30 Days

FREE Bootcamp Course + FREE Book! THIS is what you are missing... TRUST ME! This is the success formula of those who are not complaining on social media. Click Here to Learn More...

FREE! Get My marriage back and smart relationship guide



2 FREE Books Download - $197

2 FREE Books