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How to Save Your Marriage When Your Spouse Wants Out – Saving a Marriage in Crisis

You ever been in one of those situations where you walk into a room, and you can immediately tell something’s off?

Click the image below to Watch the Video

Click the image below to Watch the Video

Like… the air is just thick with tension.

You say “Hey, babe,” and all you get back is a grunt. Or worse—absolute silence.

Now, if you’re like me, you probably start running through a mental checklist: “Did I forget the anniversary? Did I leave the toilet seat up? Did I—Oh wait… it’s worse than that.”

And then… BOOM.

Your spouse hits you with the words no one ever wants to hear:

“I don’t think this is working. I think we should separate.”

Listen, if you’ve ever been in this situation or you’re in it right now, I need you to do one thing for me. Breathe. Seriously. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Because this isn’t the end of your marriage—yet. And even if it feels like it, I promise, there’s still a way forward.

I’m Ola, one half of a partnership with my wife, Lola. After 11+ years of friendship and 8+ years of marriage, we almost gave up on each other.

The pain, the distance, the constant fights—it felt like there was no way forward.

But through heartbreak, trial, and relentless effort, we discovered something powerful.

That journey led us to create the Get My Marriage Back system, launch this website in 2018, and co-author the book Get My Marriage Back.

Since then, we’ve helped countless individuals and couples get their marriage back and make it even better.

At press time, we’ve celebrate 17+ years of marriage and 20+ years of friendship.

And today, we’re going to talk about how to save your marriage when your spouse wants out.

And no, before you ask, the answer isn’t to beg, plead, or suddenly become the most romantic version of yourself that ever existed. Trust me, we’ve seen it all, and that’s not how this works.

So, let’s talk about it.

Tip #1 of 5—It’s Not About Whose Fault It Is

I know, I know. The first thing we all want to do when a relationship is falling apart is figure out who’s to blame.

“If she would just listen to me!” “If he would stop ignoring my feelings!” “If they weren’t always on their phone!” Sound familiar?

One of our clients—let’s call him Jason—came to us convinced his wife was the problem. She had become distant, she stopped laughing at his jokes, and worst of all… she stopped complaining about his bad habits. And if you’re married, you know: when they stop complaining, that’s when you should worry.

Jason was stuck in the blame game, and the more he tried to prove his innocence, the worse things got. He’d say, “But I do everything for you!” and she’d respond with, “I never asked you to.” Ouch.

Look, if your spouse wants out, the goal isn’t to prove you’re right. The goal is to understand what’s happening. And that leads me to the next point…

Tip #2 of 5—Accept and Understand It

Here’s the thing—you can’t fix what you refuse to accept. If your spouse says they want out, that’s their reality right now. Telling them they’re wrong or acting like it’s just a phase isn’t going to help.

Think about it like this: If someone is drowning and they’re flailing their arms, you don’t say, “You’re not actually drowning. Just stop panicking.” No! You acknowledge the panic, then you help them in a way that doesn’t make it worse.

When Jason finally accepted that his wife felt disconnected, instead of fighting it, he started to see things differently. He realized she wasn’t just being cold—she was hurting. And when you recognize that your spouse is hurting, you stop trying to “win” the argument and start focusing on the real problem.

By the way, if this is hitting home for you, go ahead and hit that like button. And while you’re at it, subscribe, follow, and turn on notifications because we’ve got more coming that’ll help you get your marriage back on track.

Alright, let’s keep going.

Tip #3 of 5—Be Accountable

(And No, Accountability Is Not the Same as Fault)

Jason had to learn this the hard way. See, he thought being accountable meant admitting everything was his fault. But that’s not what we’re talking about.

Accountability means asking, “What’s my role in this?” without turning it into self-blame or self-pity. It’s about seeing where you can improve—not so you can take all the blame, but so you can take control of what you can change.

Jason realized he had stopped being emotionally present years ago. His wife didn’t wake up one day and say, “I’m done.” It was a slow fade. And when he finally took accountability for his own emotional unavailability, that’s when things started to shift.

Tip #4 of 5—Let Go

I know. This one is tough. But listen—the more you try to control the outcome, the worse things get.

Jason spent months trying to convince his wife to stay. He wrote long text messages. He over-explained every little thing. He even made one of those dramatic “I can’t live without you” speeches in the rain. Okay, maybe not in the rain, but you get the idea.

And guess what? None of it worked.

But the moment he stopped trying to force her to stay… the moment he stopped clinging to control… she noticed.

Because here’s the truth: Desperation pushes people away. Confidence and self-assurance bring them closer.

Which leads us to the last and most important tip…

Tip #5—Engage in Self-Development

If you take nothing else from this video, take this: The best way to save your marriage is to become the best version of yourself—not for your spouse, but for you.

Jason stopped focusing on “fixing” his wife and started working on himself. He rediscovered hobbies. He started learning about emotional intelligence. He even started listening instead of just waiting for his turn to talk.

And you know what happened?

His wife started noticing.

Because when you work on yourself, the energy shifts. Your confidence grows. You stop being the person who’s begging for love and start being the person who naturally attracts it.

And here’s the crazy part—Jason’s wife eventually started engaging in conversations again. Not because he convinced her to, but because she felt the difference.

So if your spouse wants out, the best thing you can do isn’t to chase them—it’s to work on you.

And if you need help with that, consider working with us for personal coaching.

Just go to Click Here or Go to ww.GetMyMarriageBack.com

Alright, now before we go, don’t forget to hit like, subscribe, and turn on notifications so you don’t miss the next video.

And here’s a question for you: Do you think love alone is enough to save a marriage, or is something else more important? Drop your thoughts in the comments, and let’s talk about it.

I’ll be right back with part 2 of the “Saving a Marriage in Crisis” series; 7 Signs Your Marriage Can Still Be Saved.

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Trying To Save Marriage Wife Said It’s Too Late? ❤️ Try this 3 “UNUSUAL” Tricks

In this lesson, you will discover the 3 SECRET tricks that I used when I was trying to save my marriage when my wife said it was too late.

By the way, you can master the full methods by downloading our free book at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com or get it on Amazon

QUESTION ⁉️ “It all sounds great but this evil will not help me with my wife; when she says she’s done, it means she’s done.”

The first sign we notice in this message is the fact that a husband is throwing hands up in the air claiming there is no way for his wife to behave.

When you approach saving your marriage with that energy, you will attract more of it.

What if you accept that you are confused and it’s just time to learn something new about making your wife open for you to penetrate mentally and physically?”

ENJOY THE VIDEO.

Trying To Save Marriage Wife Said It’s Too Late

IMG - trying to save marriage, wife said it's too late

TRICK #1 – Stop Confusing Words with Action

If you are like most people, you’ve caught feeling and you are feeling rejected because your wife says she’s done.

Never mind what she says; what about her actions?

Is she still living in the same house with you?  

If she is still connected to you in one way or the other, even if it’s because of the kids, I would stop panicking.

It’s common mistake in relationships especially marriage to confuse her words with her actions.

Relax and follow her actions.

Regardless of what the action may be, relax; you are the king.

TRICK #2 – Admit that the Marriage May Be Too Late to Save

Once you relax, she will become curious again and want to initiate engagement.

Use that opportunity to show case you new relaxed man who is sure of himself and require no validation from anyone in order to be happy.

This is more of a demeanor and energy than what you say out.

It’s also okay at this stage to admit that the marriage is bad

… and that’s not equivalent to admitting that it’s all your fault.

It will only showcase you as a king who knows how to listen and communicate effectively with his queen.

This new behavior will shock your wife and will start to consider changing her mind…

If she was ever serious about saving your marriage being too late.

TRICK #3 – Give Her What She Wants; Gift of Missing You

This process will take time but you can leverage this opportunity to give yourself a gift.

When she insinuated that it’s too late to save the marriage, she’s was saying she needed space.

There is no one single event that can shut a marriage off.

Give her what she wants; the gift of missing you–space.  

You need space too as it’s an opportunity to showcase your ability of infinite patience.

BONUS TRICK – Learn the Art of Attraction – Read the Book 10-15 times

In that time period, it can be extremely difficult to just sit tight and not express yourself.

You may even feel unheard; but that’s needy behavior.

Download the book for free and read it 10-15 times so that you can teach the material unprepared.

It makes patience easier.

That time ans space will increase attraction between the two of you and…

You will equipped with material and ingredients to catalyze further growth of the attraction that you now have.

We all know that relationships have their ups and downs, and sometimes, those downs can feel pretty darn low.

So, you might be wondering…

When exactly is it too late to save a marriage? And is all that effort really worth it to mend a broken marriage?

First things first, let’s address the timing.

The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this.

Every relationship is unique, just like the people in it. Some couples manage to find their way back even from the darkest of times, while others might reach a point where the pain and damage become irreparable.

It’s crucial to remember that it’s not just about the timeline, but also about the willingness and effort both partners are willing to put in.

Now, let’s talk about whether it’s worth fixing a broken marriage.

This is a tough one, no doubt about it. The decision to fix a broken marriage is deeply personal and can be influenced by a multitude of factors. Here are a few things to consider:

Communication:

One of the pillars of a strong relationship is open and honest communication. If both partners are willing to sit down and talk about their feelings, concerns, and what led them to this point, it’s a positive sign that there’s a chance for healing.

It might be necessary for at least one willing partner to use seduction skills to attract the other partner into that space first.

Love and Commitment:

Remember why you fell in love in the first place?

Those feelings might still be buried under the rubble of issues, but they could be worth uncovering. If there’s still love and commitment, it’s definitely worth exploring if the marriage can be saved.

Can Menopause Cause a Sexless Marriage And Not Wanting To Be Touched?

Professional Help and Support:

Seeking the guidance of a marriage counselor or therapist can work wonders.

These experts can provide fresh perspectives, communication tools, and strategies to navigate the choppy waters of a struggling marriage.

Self-Reflection:

Take a moment to look within.

Are you both willing to acknowledge your own shortcomings and work on them? Self-awareness and personal growth can play a huge role in reviving a marriage.

Children and Family:

If there are children involved, their well-being should be a priority.

Sometimes, parents choose to work on their marriage for the sake of their kids, and that can be a strong motivator.

However, it’s also important to recognize when it might be time to let go (it doesn’t have to be a permanent decision):

Toxic Dynamics:

If the relationship has become toxic, filled with emotional or even physical abuse, it’s crucial to prioritize your safety and well-being over trying to fix something that might be beyond repair.

Unresolved Issues:

If past issues keep resurfacing and there’s a lack of genuine effort to address them, it might be a sign that the foundation of the relationship is too shaky.

Loss of Trust:

Trust is like a delicate glass vase – once it’s shattered, it’s hard to piece it back together perfectly. If trust has been broken beyond repair, it might be time to reevaluate.

Personal Growth:

Sometimes, individuals grow in different directions.

If you find yourselves with different goals, values, or aspirations that can’t be reconciled, it might be healthier to part ways.

In the end, the question of whether a broken marriage is worth fixing boils down to the efforts, emotions, and circumstances of the people involved.

It’s not an easy road, but with open hearts, dedication, and perhaps some professional guidance, it’s incredible what two people can achieve together.

Just remember, whether you choose to fight for your marriage or part ways, the most important thing is your happiness and your overall well-being.

You deserve a life filled with love, respect, and joy.

So there you have it. Marriage can be a wild ride, full of twists and turns.

It’s never too late to try, but it’s also okay to walk away when the time is right.

Whatever path you choose, remember that you’re not alone – there’s a whole world of support out there cheering you on.

Stay strong, stay kind, and most importantly, stay true to yourself. Until next time!

How do you know it’s too late to save a marriage?

It might be too late to save a marriage when both partners have lost emotional connection and willingness to work on the relationship.

Is it worth fixing a broken marriage?

Whether a broken marriage is worth fixing depends on the individuals involved and their commitment to making positive changes. With the right support, all it takes is one person for a fair chance.

At what point do you stop trying to save your marriage?

You might consider stopping efforts to save a marriage when there’s consistent toxicity, lack of trust, and minimal effort from both partners to improve the situation.

Can a dying marriage be saved?

While challenging, a dying marriage can potentially be saved if at least once person is willing to engage the necessary education on seduction to get both partners into a space where they are open to seeking professional help, communication, and making necessary changes.

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7 Stages of Emotional Affairs + Additional TIPS

Welcome back to LOLAandOLA.com.  Let’s talk about the 7 stages of an emotional affair; a sequel to “5 signs of an emotional affair”.  

Be sure to watch that video too. 

As usual, we are answering your question.  Feel free to continue leaving them in the comment area or send an email to [email protected]

Let’s check out this story.

“So my wife seems to be having an emotional affair with her boss. 

She locked me out of her home computer a few months back (it was shared). 

Just before that I noticed she’d been trying to find a way to stop her phone messages being saved in the cloud.

When I did see some of her messages she’s been texting with him all times of day and at weekends. 

When she went away on a trip a couple of times, he was getting pictures and texts etc. I got nothing.

He talks back with her a lot. 

She’s deleted a lot of the texts (presumably the worst ones??). 

Some of the texts seem to be suggestive but I can’t see if they lead anywhere but I don’t think anything physical has happened. 

It’s more flirting.”

Sorry about this trauma.  It’s going to take a lot of work to get out of this funk.  And I am sorry you have to go through this.  

Maybe understanding the stages of emotional affairs can help you put things in better perspective so you can move forward in the most effective way.

Let’s get into it.

Stage 1

Void

Void

In order for another person to occupy the space of intimacy in a relationship, there must be some type of void.

This is not to blame or assign fault away from the transgressor to the other partner but to highlight the fact that it is what it is.

If you caught your partner in this type of bad behavior, always remember it’s not your fault but that’s not equivalent to not assuming responsibility in the overall status of your relationship.  

Stage 2

Friendship

You’ve always had friends anyway.  For women, they often need to feel safe and secure.  

So the closest person to that when there is a void they want to fill in their present relationship or marriage are ex’s.

Ladies.  Be careful with keeping friendships with your exes.  It might seem innocent because after all there are stages.  

You probably already know that everything feels wrong but right at the same time with this inappropriate relationship.

If you are not careful, you will eventually find yourself justifying it.  Don’t wait for it because again, friendship is a seemingly innocent stage of emotional affairs.

Stage 3

Sharing

In this stage, the transgressor is getting comfortable and starting to share intimate details with the loser on the side.

Why are they losers?  It’s just the reality because you are clearly not 100% emotionally available but yet, they are hoping to build something serious usually.

There is a void as I stated in stage one but it is not the same thing as being emotionally available which is a requirement for a healthy relationship.

Not only was that lady sharing details, when she went away on a trip a couple of times, the loser was getting pictures and texts while the husband got nothing.

At this point, the marriage is in the danger zone.

Stage 4

Secrecy

Secrecy

What happens next?  The transgressor is leaving exhibits and digital footprints on SMS, text messages and WhatsApp right?

These are now secrets which in this context can be described somewhat as lies.  They have to tell more lies and create more secrets to cover up.

But there is a problem.

No matter how much they try to delete messages, it gets worse because even though… remember that story… 

“She’s deleted a lot of the worst texts ,the remaining seem to be suggestive.”

Yes he couldn’t see if they led anywhere or think anything physical had happened.  But the mind doesn’t know that.

Stage 5

Fantasy

Up till this stage, nothing has necessarily happened physically.  But the natural order of things is for the mind to engage images of going all the way through.

At this stage, the transgressor is starting to fantasize not just about physical intimacy but also about what life could be like with the side person.

The mind won’t rest or let’s flip it.  The mind may not be able to comprehend the danger in all of these until a physical act has happened.

That’s why people would call it a mistake while in reality this can only be realistically described as premeditated in reality. 

Stage 6

Dependency

At this stage, the transgressor has spent a lot of energy on this side relationship.  Yes.  they might as well call it a relationship because it’s denial.

They’ve started to fantasize about life with this person and the last thing they want you to call the interaction is an affair.

If you don’t speak to them in a day, your mind won’t rest.  It’s an unhealthy dependency because you can’t really live in truth; nonetheless a dependency.

Don’t forget that the transgressor still depends on the actual partner for something hence the difficulty in just leaving as opposed to cheating.  

Justification

Stage 7

Justification

At this stage, a transgressor is actively trying to turn a lie into a truth.  

Actually, they are probably being honest since they have been intimate with another person consistently over a period of time.  

There is an illusion of greener grass on the other side.

So even though it’s a dishonest lifestyle, it was filling a void and therefore feels like the truth and it’s just being actively justified.

At least, it might feel justified.  It is not.  That band aid must be ripped off that open and rotten wound once and for all.

Many pieces of advice on the internet will probably be conclusive and I know that you probably don’t want to end the marriage.  So it’s confusing at best.

You might not know how far the affair has gone but it really doesn’t matter.  Emotional affairs can hurt just as much if not more because of the fear of the unknown.   

Reference our last video for recovery tips if you’ve caught your partner in this bad behavior.  It’s called “5 Signs of An Emotional Affair + 5 RECOVERY TIPS”.

We share our own story inside the book “GET MY MARRIAGE BACK” which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you’d like us to cover on the next video.

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5 Signs of An Emotional Affair + 5 RECOVERY TIPS 

Let’s talk about the 5 signs of an emotional affair.

Welcome back to LOLAandOLA.com.  

As usual, we are answering your question.  Feel free to continue leaving them in the comment area or send an email to [email protected]

So should you separate after an emotional affair?  Check out this story… 

“I am 38 years old. I recently realized my 34 years old wife has had an emotional affair for the last four years.

The past two weeks have been hell for me. We’ve been married for 9 years and have two beautiful kids. 

I caught my wife last week chatting with someone and when I confronted her she said it was just a casual talk with a friend for stress relief and that it started a few months ago.

As I dug up more evidence she has gradually admitted that the affair started four years ago and now has finally admitted that he was her ex lover in college. 

She has apologized and said that she will end for good and that she is ashamed of having continued it for so long.

But I find myself obsessively rewinding all the things I did over the last four years. 

She had the affair through almost half of our married life, through the birth of our second child and even when I was hospitalized.

I can’t seem to move on and have a gnawing feeling of doubt mixed with anger, jealousy and sadness.”

First of all, I am very sorry for the emotional pain this has probably caused you and your family.  This is not going to be easy.

What is An Emotional Affair?  Good Question.

An emotional affair involves emotional intimacy with a person other than a partner that you are committed to even when it doesn’t involve physical intimacy.  It can hurt just as much if not more. 

As usual, we want to share the top 5 signs that you or your marriage may be suffering from an emotional affair.  And then we will add 5 tips for recovery for you.

Let’s get into it.

Sign Number 5

Absence or Fantasy

So this sign is like two-in-one because sometimes the transgressor is also wondering if their behavior is inappropriate or dangerous.

If you find yourself fantasizing over and over about another person in a romantic way, this may be a sign of an emotional affair or a brewing one at least.

On the flip side, if you notice that your partner seems absent in the relationship, there is usually no vacuum of energy. There is a reason.  

Your partner is probably intimate with another person at least emotionally.  After all, we are talking about something that’s all in the mind.

But then everything in life starts from the mind.

Recovery tip number five is that it’s not your fault.  

But then I am guessing we are talking about a person you love and want to nurture a better relationship with.

So “this”… not being your fault doesn’t mean you can’t assume responsibility in rekindling your relationship with a better foundation.

Sign Number 4

Secrecy

Secrecy

Naturally when a partner is involved in inappropriate behavior, they might start doing things in secret.

The concept of a secret lover is not a joke.  But it doesn’t necessarily start like that.  It starts long before that.

We are talking about signs right? The symptoms!  That’s why you want to make sure you watch the next video on the stages of emotional affairs.

At this stage however, it’s probably becoming obvious that your partner is actively hiding something over a period of time.

If they were planning a surprise party for you, this suspicious feeling you have… probably won’t last longer than a couple of weeks.

Recovery tip number four if it’s no longer a secret is that you should take some time and space away from the relationship.

There is no good decision that can be made when you are hurting emotionally.

Sign Number 3

Greener Grass

If you are on the receiving side of this bad behavior, you are probably starting to hear your spouse compare you to random others.

You’ve been noticing that nothing you do is good enough.  But also, there is an unfair comparison with your partner’s friends, siblings or randoms.

As a transgressor, you should simply know that the grass is probably greener on the other side because someone is watering it or it’s flat-out synthetic.

It’s FAKE!

Our recovery tip number three is that you should engage wise counsel.  Better yet if you can afford it, engage a therapist.

Don’t attempt to get out of this funk with common sense tactics, advice or by your own self.  It’s much more complicated than right and wrong.

Sign Number 2

Emotional Tampon


Emotional Tampon

Ideally, your partner should be spending their gist and relaxation time with you because we are all busy with life right?

You can’t wait to come back to a partner you are in love with.

So when a partner seems like they’d rather spend hours on the phone with some other BFF who acts as their emotional tampon, it might be a sign of concern.

Likewise if you’ve noticed that you enjoy time with some old friend, especially an ex, that’s the danger zone and the end is probably not going to be good. 

Recovery tip number two – If you catch your partner already, like the story I shared earlier, determine if they still want the marriage.

It’s not the determining factor if you should leave the marriage or not but it’s a condition because you can’t afford to negotiate “desire” in a romantic relationship.

Sign Number 1

Consistency

So none of these signs are valid unless it’s consistent over a period of time.  There is no one event that can dictate the fate of your relationship.

Consistency

You must have noticed emotional absence, secrecy tendencies, unfair comparisons, inappropriate engagements with friends… all of these signs over a period of time.

As for recovery tip number one, do you still want the marriage?  Rember that you can’t want the marriage more than your partner in this type of situation.

This is the first of a two-part sequel.  

So make sure you are subscribed with all notifications turned on in order to get notified when part 2 “The Stages of Emotional Affairs” is released.

We share our own story inside the book “GET MY MARRIAGE BACK” which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you’d like us to cover on the next video.

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5 KEYS TO REKINDLING ATTRACTION DURING SEPARATION (How To Make Your Husband Want You All The Time)

We are enjoying having this conversation with you in the comment area.  Leave a question in the comment and we will address it.  If it’s more comfortable, you can also send us an email to [email protected]

In this video, we are adding some context to an answer we gave to Queen some few weeks back.  Be sure to check out that video.  

It’s called “Unwanted Separation? Use THESE 5 Tips!” It was also a response to an original video called “Ignoring Your Spouse During Separation 💔”

Here is her response to that video.

“Thank you Lola and Ola. I am grateful for you guys. You have opened a new perspective to me. I believe I should work on myself now moving forward. The period of sorrow and grief is coming to an end. 

About the question if I am a selfish person, the answer is no. I have always given people my time, love and affection. I’d rather love others first. 

I don’t know how to only focus on me. It’s not healthy. I’d rather give to those who need me. I never put myself first but look for the good of those around me. 

Hence I helped hubby become who he is today. Now that he’s left I don’t understand what I did wrong to be honest. 

We spoke a few days ago and he wanted to know what I have been up to. I don’t know why he suddenly is interested to know about my whereabouts but he will not disclose what he’s doing or how he feels. Which I find strange that he’s obsessed with knowing what I am about. 

I think I need to be more attractive and work on myself more like you mentioned. I will revive my passions and allow time to heal like they say. 

For now I will focus on what makes me happy and keep me focused. I believe he’s still my husband. I am also going to download your free book now.” ~ Queen

So here we go.  To add some context to Queen’s comment, we have created 5 keys to rekindling attraction from a seduction standpoint during a separation.

Let’s get into it.

Key Number 5

The Art of Obsession

The Art of Obsession

As always, this is easier said than done.  But it’s a simple concept.  What makes it complex is the complex human mind.

When you experience rejection at any level,  it breeds obsession and anxiety.  

But when you are able to garner some self-control and back off just a little bit, you can successfully transfer that obsession and anxiety to the other party.

It also depends on how much damage may have occurred during the break down of the relationship.  

If your separated spouse is not the exception minority with no emotional blood flowing in their vein, this works 100% of the time.

So it’s pretty normal for the obsession to flip to the other side when you take time to back off and allow nature to take its course.

If your partner needs space, things are bad already and you probably need more space than you realize.

Key Number 4

Don’t Fake The Flip

So, I want you to allow the obsession and the anxiety to flip from you to your partner naturally and organically.  There are gurus out there teaching people to fake it.

You can’t afford to fake this stuff because that would be a lie and that would typically mean you have to keep lying to cover up lies.  It’s not worth it because it’s too much energy trying to keep up with it.


It needs to be organic and this awareness right here will make it a little hard.  

But the way to mitigate that is to really take this rare advantage of time apart to build yourself in every way you can think of; physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Leave very little room to sit around and allow your mind to wander around about things you can’t control such as sorrow and grief.

If you can do it, that’s obviously time spent away from obsessing over your estranged partner and that much time for them to start wondering about what you are up to.

That’s literally a form of attraction.

It’s organic and natural and proof that you can potentially rekindle attraction in a healthy way so that you can embrace it when you are ready.

Key Number 3

Don’t Run An Empty Cup

Don't Run An Empty Cup

As “Queen” just acknowledged, you can’t afford to pour love into others from an empty cup; it will only drain your energy.  

Yes we advocate for focusing on “giving” in a healthy relationship and not the falsehood of the “give and take” ideology that a bunch of selfish people are running around with on social media.

But please, do not take us out of context.  You simply cannot give what you don’t already have.  

We get this question all the time… “You are telling us to just GIVE but what if we are giving so much that the other person is not reciprocating?”

Good question.  

But there is no better way to tell me that you are not giving anything to yourself.  You are emptying out yourself to your partner.

That’s the only way you can have time to notice that they don’t reciprocate but you are not necessarily wrong; just a thought to consider.

And worse, you are setting them up with false metrics of expectations that are based purely on your disappointed emotions. 

You can’t win together like that. You might win alone and effectively destroy the relationship.  But let’s be guided.

When you can demonstrate the ability to take care of yourself, there is almost nothing sexier than that when it comes to rekindling attraction again.

And of course, they naturally can’t wait to get on your good side.

Key Number 2

Be Indifferent

Once you’ve managed to organically flip that obsession and anxiety over to the other side, do not prematurely engage.

Sure it’s attractive but it needs to be tested with time and persistence which must be demonstrated on all sides.

Don’t play games with this if you haven’t gone through an outright rejection from your spouse.  That will make it fake, manipulative and it can backfire badly.

But in the case of what “Queen” described, she needs to disconnect as much as possible from wondering what she did wrong and why he is suddenly obsessed.

The bottom line is that he is obsessed because that’s attraction at play but more importantly, how she responds to it needs to showcase indifference.

What that means is that how you feel is neither here nor there.  You are okay with whatever the outcome is and you will take your time because you are busy learning how to take care of yourself.

It might drive one or both of you wild.


But the attraction needs to be tested for strength because there is a real reason why a separation became reality in the first place.

It doesn’t matter if you are “the man” or “the woman”.  The same attraction principle is applicable if you are feeling the emotions of rejection.

You can re-engage your seduction power and redirect the course.

Key Number 1

Self Love Is Still key

Self Love Is Still key

What if you lost your partner forever?  Yea.  What if?  If you can’t handle that reality in your mind right now, it’s probably showing as needy behavior on the surface.

That’s not sexy.

It’s like no wonder they are running away from that.

The moment they can see that you are capable of loving yourself adequately, they will always regret a decision of not working on your relationship.

That self-love will attract a better companionship to you with or without your spouse; it’s non-negotiable. 

And again, we are not talking to selfish people.  Self-love as a religious talking point and ideology can also destroy you and everything you care about.

We are speaking from experience.  

We share our own story inside the book “GET MY MARRIAGE BACK” which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

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