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Signs That Your Husband is Cheating

Ladies, few things in life feel worse than the nagging suspicion that your husband is cheating on you………other than to find out that’s actually the case.

There are a ton of little telltale signs that you may be able to spot that will start your womanly radar ticking.

Some of your man’s actions may end up being innocent enough, but at other times, where there’s smoke, there could be infidelity fire.

Cheating can be in the mind only, purely emotional, or physical, or a combination of all three.

Just like every marriage is different, so too is every case of cheating.

We won’t quote statistics, but studies show that a lot of men (and women for that matter) do contemplate cheating in some way at some point. It’s one way to explain why the nation’s divorce rate currently hovers at around 50 percent.

So, no matter what your degree of suspicion is when it comes to your husband and what’s in his mind, there are a number of things to keep an eye out for.

Don’t take them as gospel by themselves that cheating is going on, but if you see a lot of what follows in your marriage, it may be time for the “we need to talk” intervention.

Frustration in the marriage is one common trigger; the cheater may make several attempts to solve problems to no avail.

Maybe they had second thoughts about getting married or they were jealous over the attention given to a new baby and neither had the skill set to communicate these feelings.

Perhaps the straying spouse has childhood baggage — neglect, abuse, or a parent who cheated — that interferes with his or her ability to maintain a committed relationship.

Less often, the cheater doesn’t value monogamy, lacks empathy, or simply doesn’t care about the consequences.

We will take a look at a number of risk factors and causes for cheating, but it’s important to point out upfront that a partner doesn’t cause their spouse to cheat. Whether it was a cry for help, an exit strategy, or a means to get revenge after being cheated on themselves, the cheater alone is responsible for cheating.

1. He’s suddenly very interested in his appearance.

If your husband was previously indifferent to his appearance and is now spending more time than usual on his hair and clothes, it could be a sign that he’s trying to impress someone else.

He may also be working out more, or paying more attention to his grooming habits in general.

2. He’s working longer hours or taking more business trips.

If your husband’s work schedule has suddenly changed and he’s spending more time at the office or going on more business trips, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be using work as an excuse to meet someone else or to spend time away from home.

3. He’s become more distant and withdrawn.

If your husband is suddenly acting distant and withdrawn, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be less interested in talking to you or spending time with you. He may also seem preoccupied and distracted when you are together.

he’s cheating. He may be buying gifts for someone else, or he may be paying for activities that he wouldn’t normally spend money on.

4. He’s being secretive and evasive.

If your husband is being secretive and evasive, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be hiding his phone or computer from you, or deleting texts and emails without reading them.

He may also be reluctant to share information about his whereabouts or who he’s been spending time with.

5. He’s got a new group of friends.

If your husband has suddenly started hanging out with a new group of friends, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be spending more time with them than with you, or he may be secretive about who they are and what they do together.

6. He’s acting differently around you.

If your husband is acting differently around you, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be more critical of you, or he may be more distant and withdrawn.

He may also seem more interested in sex, or he may be less interested in sex.

7. He’s spending more money than usual.

If your husband is spending more money than usual, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be buying gifts for someone else, or he may be paying for activities that he wouldn’t normally spend money on.

8. What are those charges on the credit card?

If you monitor your monthly credit card statements and you start to see things pop up that you don’t recognize, they may be harmless, or they could be signs of monkey business that’s afoot.

If you can’t match up the expense with the story, that’s a problem. Also, if he’s now paying in cash for things that used to be charged, that’s a money monkey business concern as well.

9. He wants you to stop doing nice things for him.

Sometimes known as the Catholic guilt syndrome. If you’re being kind and considerate, as relationships should be, it could be revving up the conflict in him if he’s thinking about cheating or already doing so.

10. Cheat on me once, shame on you. Cheat on me twice, shame on me.

A spouse who has cheated in the past and gotten caught is more likely to think they can get away by doing a better job of cheating the second time around. If your spouse has a history of cheating, and you suspect cheating is happening again, it may be time to make that spouse a part of your history instead.

Why Do Husbands Cheat?

There are a lot of reasons that husbands cheat on their wives. Sometimes it has to do with the husband’s own insecurities or feeling like he isn’t good enough for his wife.

Sometimes cheating is a way to get revenge after an argument or disagreement. And sometimes, husbands cheat simply because they’re curious or they want to experience something new.

5 Physical Signs Your Wife is Cheating

You are about to discover the 5 physical signs your wife is cheating.

Cheating and/infidelity is a terrible experience for a marriage and relationship.

It kills marriages, and more importantly…

Trust.

It’s a betrayal and it goes very deep beyond just the moment it happens, the relationship, just one person’s life.   

It’s something that causes deep-rooted damages to a person and getting through it can be very difficult.

So if you’ve experienced any kind of cheating, caught your wife cheating or you feeling like your wife is cheating, you may want to engage a professional to make sure that you go through the proper healing process necessary.

If you don’t, you will spread the damages into other aspects of your life, such as your legacy, your children, and everyone that you ever get into any kind of relationship with.

With that being said, Let’s get into 5 Physical Signs Your Wife Is Cheating:

1st physical sign that your wife is cheating – She is always too tired to have sex.

PREVIOUS POST: 15 Warning Signs Your Wife Doesn’t Love You & How to Attract Her Back ❤️

This sign by itself is not sufficient enough a proof that she is cheating but this could be a sign that she is cheating.

Because remember that energy is neither created nor destroyed.

But if we are finding ourselves in a situation where you feel the need to use the word  “always” to emphasize the fact that… 

  • She doesn’t “always” want to have sex.
  • Always doesn’t want to be intimate with you.

That is something that you should pay attention to.  

And that doesn’t mean you should go ahead and start attacking and accusing her of infidelity.  It simply means you should pay attention.

Just keep in mind that your feelings may be inaccurate or completely far from reality.

It could just be your personal insecurity problems and that’s precisely why, you still need to unpack it and figure out what is going on with your relationship.

So if she comes up as always too tired to have sex, that is something you should pay attention to.

If once in a while, she is just tired after a long working day, that obviously doesn’t mean she is cheating.

It just means she is tired and that’s very normal in a lot of cases.

Even yourself… even if you are the most sex-maniac in the world, sometimes you’re just not in the mood.

2nd physical sign that your wife is cheating – Strange and/or Expensive gifts.

Either she brought to the house or it was shipped to the house…

If it is a common occurrence enough for you to notice, you should be concerned enough to ask questions.

As always, this doesn’t always mean that she is cheating. 

If…

  • You can’t really explain where these gifts are coming from.
  • She has never taken the time to tell you specifically where these gifts are coming from.
  • And if they feel strange to you.

That’s something you should pay attention to…I would.

Why?

Because you should know what’s going on anyway.  And if you are not paying attention to your family and especially your wife as a man, what else are you not doing?

That means you’ve been oblivious and anything can happen under your nose to the extent that you wife can start building attraction towards another man.

So, you should be paying attention anyway.

As always, this is not a moment for you to start attacking and accusing her.

There is often a fine and blurry line between insecurity and simply being responsible enough to pay attention.  All this means is to pay attention.

You should ask questions.

“Where is this gift from?”

If she is consistently getting strange and expensive gifts, then I would look for at least 3 or 4 other signs on this list.

3rd physical sign that your wife may be cheating – She hides to take a phone call.

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So you’ve noticed in recent times that your wife doesn’t like taking phone calls in front of you.

She would excuse herself or sometimes never even excuse herself.  

She wanders away into other rooms and she tends to be very quiet while she is taking these calls.

This could be a sign that she is cheating.  Clearly, she is not wanting you to hear what she is having conversations about.

Now if your birthday is approaching, she may be taking calls related to plans of a surprise birthday party for you.

But again if you have 3 or 4 of the other signs on this list in your situation, chances are it’s not about your birthday party.

It means you should pay attention, right?

Now, what is cheating?

In this case, cheating means she is doing something she wouldn’t want to do in front of you as mabe related to an inappropriate relationship with another person in a romantic way outside of your relationship or marriage.

So again, if she’s taking phone calls and… 

She’s having to go into other rooms and not wanting you to hear what those phone calls are about,  and she never comes back to say…

“Hey, that was Jill on the other line. I was talking to her about work stuff from earlier today.”

If she is not doing that then that is something you should pay attention to and ask questions.

“Who was that? Oh okay, you don’t want me to know?”

And make sure you keep the conversation light-headed if you are asking that question so you don’t shut her off.

Because again if you are too serious, you’re gonna take away the spark from your relationship and marriage in general.

You’re revealing yourself way too much and that’s more likely going to backfire and work completely against your purpose…

It’s going to come off as insecurity and that’s not attractive.

4th physical sign that your wife is cheating – She’s too paranoid to leave her phone.

So, if you’ve noticed that she’s always taking her phone everywhere she goes and that she is never, in recent times left the phone on the bed

….just hanging out there on the table.

She just seems like she hugs up on the phone and she holds on to it everywhere and every room she goes in the house, that could be a sign that she is hiding something.

That could also be a sign of cheating.

Now, we don’t know what she is hiding.  So as I’ve said always in this lesson, we don’t know what she is hiding but again… 

If you’ve noticed 3 or 4 other signs present in your relationship in recent times and you’re in fact feeling insecure about your relationship with your wife, then this is something that you should pay attention to.

“Why would I pay attention to it?”

Because again a lot of time as men, we get complacent.  We don’t pay attention.  We take things for granted.

And then you know, we may be losing our woman just like that without it necessarily being a matter of her being out to hurt you.

It’s just how life happens.

Again remember that energy is neither created nor destroyed.

So if you’re not giving to her and she finds herself in a situation where other people are giving to her; filling her love tank in an emotional way, you may end up losing your woman.

I would pay attention to this and find ways to attract her back to me.

Just in case you can relate to this, this is not a moment to accuse and attack her, this is your moment to figure out what is going on like…

“Yeah, there is something missing. Let me attract my woman back”.

Why would I do that?  Why would I need to give to her?

Because I know enough that whatever I give to women, she multiplies which means she will reciprocate in multiple folds.

So, with that being said, if she’s too paranoid to leave her phone around, that could be a sign that she’s cheating.

Keep in mind that it’s just a sign that you need to step up your game.

Could your wife just be a psychopath cheater?

Yes it could be but for the most part, that’s not the case.

We’re mostly human beings who are just trying to live and we need emotional validation a lot of times in the journey of life.

That goes for both men and women.

And in a marriage, things can get stale very fast.  We could get complacent.

5th physical sign that your wife is cheating – She’s expressed it verbally.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

She may have said things to you, such as, she’s no longer in love 

…or she is asking for space.

If she said things like that to you, you should take them seriously but that doesn’t necessarily mean to react to them.

Remember. 

Energy is neither created nor destroyed and if that’s the case, where is she pouring her affection?

It could be into another man

But it could also be because she’s feeling a void in her personal life or with respect to her career.

The point is that there could be so many other things outside of cheating but it could also be because she’s cheating on you.

And she may not be courageous enough to come to you and tell you… 

“I’m cheating” 

…and sometimes the way she would express that is in words… such as: 

“I’m no longer in love with you.”

“I love you but I am not in love with you anymore.”

Or she may outrightly ask you for… “I need some space”.

If you find yourself in this kind of situation, I know it can be a terrible feeling 

You should be aware that she may be cheating but ultimately you don’t want to look at it like that.

You want to look at it as your woman not feeling confident to be open enough to express herself to you.

Instead, think like this….

Maybe she has felt a void in her career or in her romantic life and she just doesn’t feel adequate.  She doesn’t like what she’s become even in your marriage.

Now, does that mean you should blame yourself?  Absolutely not!

Does that mean you should feel guilty? No!

It just means that if you care about this woman and your marriage and most importantly relationship with her, you probably should step up your game.

You should learn some skill set that will help you seduce and attract her back into your arms.

And it’s absolutely possible.

So those are the 5 physical signs that your wife may be cheating on you to look out for

Cheating in this context means she’s doing things with other people in a romantic way that she wouldn’t want you to find out about.

If this has been very helpful for you, you wanna download and get the book which is absolutely free by going to www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

15 Warning Signs Your Wife Doesn’t Love You & How to Attract Her Back ❤️

Partners can fall in and out of love during the lifetime of their love affair;

It’s just the reality of life.

There is a big difference between loving a person and being in love with the same person.

Loving a person is a choice born out of a commitment

…while being in-love is a feeling that’s born out of feeling safe and secure enough to be vulnerable.

In essence, your wife can love you and still fall in and out of love with you momentarily throughout the course of your love affair or marriage.

However, the 2 phenomenons, loving and in-love, are often used interchangeably and almost synonymously; there is overlap.

The context of this lesson and the 15 signs that your wife doesn’t love you are more within the context of the in-love experience.

1, She is Distracted Easily Especially with the Phone

Remember those moments when you used to have long conversations for no reasons.

Now, all you’ve got is half or less of that attention because she’s distracted by all the environmental factors around.

She is distracted enough for you to notice

…and the number one factor is basically her phone or smart devices competing with you for attention.

Find out how you have been rewarding the behavior and all you have to do is stop rewarding it.

It could be something as simple as sitting there waiting for her until she notices while you whine and bitch about it.

Remove yourself and find something fun and faithful to do for yourself until she notices it. It’s a form of giving to her. You are giving space for her to miss you.

2, She is UnExcited to See/Hang Out With You

In the beginning, she couldn’t wait to ride out in the city with you but somethings have changed;

That’s boring now.

That doesn’t mean she has fallen out of love with you yet; it means she’s lost interest in that activity.

But I lied.

Falling out of love is a process just as much as falling in love is after you’ve lost the initial passion.

Losing the initial passion is in fact inevitable simply because we are humans and we value the feeling of newness and its accompanying excitement.

As I have just said, it’s really the feeling and not necessarily newness all in itself.

When you understand that, it makes it significantly easy to attract your wife to fall back in love with you.

If your wife no longer appreciates being around you, you are probably rewarding that behavior with making her feel that the opportunity to hangout is readily available.

Your time together is predictable and boring; switch things up in a positive way to create attraction.

3, She Claims That She’s Lost Herself

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When a woman gets into this space, being in love with you is the last thing on her mind.

In fact, there is a good chance she is associating the idea of loving you with a part of herself she has just discovered and doesn’t like.

4, She Doesn’t Care About Your Feelings

There is a lot more to this particular sign being a sign.

Honestly, I would want to know why you’ve got so much time to detect this sign.

But that’s probably a topic for another day.

If she’s coming off as your feelings don’t matter, she is not in love with you at this moment.

You can mitigate against this by leaning in towards her and attempting to listen to her feelings as your personal control mechanism for your relationship with and love for her.

… more like an influence mechanism.

If you do that long enough, she will center back to the girl who used to care about your feelings

…but it requires generosity of patience on your part as a seed.

5, No More Expressions of any Type from Her

One of the last behaviors you ever want from your wife is for her to stop expressing herself.

The level at which a woman expresses herself varies greatly depending on her personality, temperament and other factors.

If she ever gets into a space where she doesn’t feel safe to express her feelings at all, that’s almost equivalent to falling completely out of love with you.

Feeling safe and secure with you is almost equivalent to a woman being in love with you.. She has to be able to express herself freely.

6, She Seems UnHappy Quite Often

You know your wife more than I do.

She may not be able to come out and tell you straight to your face that she’s unhappy.

Neither should you wait for her to do so because it might be too late.

If she is not as excited about life and your relationship anymore, she is very likely falling out of love just as much.

But that’s not necessarily your fault.

In fact, that’s not your job and you have probably been rewarding her for coming off as unhappy.

All you have to do is date her and create another… just another opportunity for sex to happen (again.)

7, She Rolls Her Eyes When it’s Time to Talk

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That’s a classic sign, not just of falling out of love with you, but also that she has lost hope that she can ever revive love for you again.

Once a woman rolls eye at every glance of a conversation about your relationship, it means you have a massive up-hill battle in order to attract her back into loving you again.

You still need to communicate but this time around, you need to learn and practice effective communication.

It will involve lots of patience because she is obviously shut down.

8, She Disregards Your Opinion & Advice

When you were dating this lady, your words were the gospel. She trusted every advice you gave her.

In fact, she thought there would never be a guy as smart as you were.

But recently, some events have made her, not only say she doesn’t care for your opinions, but showcase exactly that in her actions.

She dismisses them right in your face without thinking about it at all and it hurts because you can tell that she doesn’t love you anymore.

9, She is Reluctant about Sex & Intimacy

It would be easy to tell you that she is no longer in love with you if she had completely shut down access to sex.

But that’s usually not the case.

The way it works is that your wife is probably engaged in an internal battle between the commitments she made and how she feels.

That means sometimes (not all the time) she would give excuses to avoid sex, intimacy and affection with you.

She may not even realize that she is doing this.

10, She Comes off as a Roommate

Your worst nightmare right?

If she was in love with you, she would be all over you leaking you from head to toe.

But she has been spending a lot of time in alternative rooms of your house instead of with you.

So in actuality, it can be worse than being a roommate. Don’t focus too much energy on this because it’s a symptom.

You need a root cause analysis and the focus on fixing the cause. She is not a roommate; she is only acting like one.

11, Every Expression Feels Like Nagging

You can feel it and you know it

…and recognize the negative vibes in that in the past few weeks whenever she is expressing her emotions to you.

It almost feels like she’s always blaming you for everything but you can’t put your hands on what the issue is.

She has fallen out of love.

12, She’s Highly Sarcastic & Condescending 

“So you won’t take the garbage out tonight again right?”

The tone of that question reveals it as a direct attack against your character; maybe that’s a stretch but…

Compare that to…

“Babe, do you mind getting that garbage out tonight?”

Which of these 2 scenarios showcases a woman who is in love with you?

13, Indifferent and/or Not Jealous

If your woman is still jealous, she is still somewhat in love with you at least. But you don’t want her to be numb to your behaviors.

“I don’t care.”

Yes she does but it’s a cry out for you to see that she does care; you have not been paying attention.

What you really don’t want is her getting into a head space where she doesn’t care and also doesn’t care enough to share that she doesn’t care.

If that happens, she’s lost respect and effectively, love for you… at least now.

14, She Glows More When Around Strangers

Not only does she seem unhappy; she shows you by glowing extra ordinarily when around complete strangers… not necessarily intentionally.

If that happens one time… no big deal but when it happens consistently, she has fallen out of love but there is hope.

15, No Gists After Getting Off the Phone

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

She finishes speaking to a friend on the phone right in front of you, hung up and didn’t say a word about who it was.

Naturally, we share…

“That was Amy; she says hello.”

If she stops sharing, she’s essentially saying you can go to hell.

Conclusion

It is very important to keep in mind that it works against your desires to take these 15 signs too seriously and make them a bigger deal than they actually are.

Whatever is going on is temporary and these are symptoms.

And all you have to do is focus on finding out the underlying causing reasons and adjusting accordingly to attract your wife back.

If you pay the symptoms more attention than necessary, you will more likely push your wife further away and potentially in the arms of another man.

It can’t happen to you?

Well, 70+% of divorces are initiated by women; someone’s wife.

If you want more of this, go to LOLAandOLA.com

And go download the book GET MY MARRIAGE BACK

Absolutely FREE!

If you are interested in a coaching session, just go under the product page at LOLAandOLA.com and I’ll see you at the top.

Frequently Asked Questions [F.A.Q]

The 1st way to know that your wife doesn’t love anymore is the fact that you are unsure about where she stands but I have 15 more signs you should know.

The 1st sign of 15 more signs that your wife doesn’t love anymore is your uncertainty about where she stands when it come to your marriage.

“Is PHYSICAL A Worse Offense Than EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY?”📍 John Gray

Question: “Is PHYSICAL A Worse Offense Than EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY?”

So John Gray got caught basically, and there is a video of him coming out talking to a side chick about his wife…

that the wife only gives pizza to the babies for dinner.

I don’t understand why men put their wives down.

Who cares if your wife is feeding you pizza in the house?

If you don’t like it you get in the kitchen or if you had a problem with that, why didn’t you talk to me?

Maybe I am not the easiest to talk to, but then maybe you can get yourself in the kitchen or come up with ideas…

Like getting a chef that would cook for us on a daily basis.

On one of John Gray’s Videos he said:

“This was not physical or sexual. I’ve only ever been with one woman, that is my wife.”

What do we have to say about that?

Saying that he is not physical but he is emotional, what difference does he make?

You are talking to another woman and being emotional is just like you already slept with a person…

because everywhere that your wife has been with you, they get to experience that.

You have bared your heart to this person.

Is Physical a worse offense than emotional infidelity?

If you have an emotional affair and that’s all you did and then you got caught, dude you missed out.

You might as well sleep with the person because you are going to receive equal amounts of scrutiny.

It’s just as bad.

You are going to hurt that person just as much, if not more because now you are going to be telling her that “I’ve never slept with this person”.

Now they are gonna look at you like a liar because they will never believe you.

They will punish you that much more because they are thinking in their head “no you already slept with this person”.

I mean honestly how would they know?

They weren’t there with you.

So if you were already sharing intimate conversations with your side chick and trying to bring her to the same hotel where you and your wife would go…

You might as well just have slept with the lady so you could just say “you know you are right. I slept” so you could get away quickly…

PREVIOUS POST: “What Do You Do When Someone REJECTS Your APOLOGY?”📍 John Gray

And maybe she will accept your apology a lot faster.

You are in the worst place when you truthfully haven’t slept with that person.

It’s the truth but she is not gonna believe you and your punishment will be twice.

So if you are going to apologize at all, the last thing you want to bring up is “it wasn’t physical”.

Dude, it doesn’t matter if it was physical or not… and pastor John Gray should know better.

Bottom line is that you are exchanging these intimate moments that are only designed for you and your wife… you broke that trust.

It’s the trust that you broke, that is the issue and not what really happened physically.

She doesn’t care if you slept with that person or not.

In fact, you putting that in the midst of your apology is making things worse.

So, Is Physical a worse offense than emotional infidelity?

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If that’s the question, it’s backwards… emotional is worse because you are going to get punished that much.

Even in terms of wasting all that energy on emotion, you might as well just go all in.

Once you start lusting after that, you have already sinned.

John Gray needs to get it together when it comes to that and I understand the pressure of being a pastor and also being human…

But that’s the part where you couldn’t stop walking.

The pressure has to be a lot more because he is a pastor.

And then he was saying that his wife does not feed them anything else but pizzas…

Come on, why are you saying these things about your wife?

Why are you painting your wife bad?

Is it to get empathy from your side chick or something?

I don’t understand.

This is common in some men, I won’t say all men because not all men do that…

some men, they will trash their wife just so they can get sympathy pussy.

If you have to trash one woman to get another woman, you don’t have a gain and you are a sorry case.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

That’s something that even young men who are not necessarily married should know.

Like if you broke up with somebody, always be good to them because they came into your life for a reason, you chose them.

So when you start speaking bad of them, you are speaking of yourself.

Like I said, it’s a lack of gain when you do that.

But some people are in a weak place, when they are engaged in an emotional affair.

Like a lot of people until they bring a baby into this world, they actually always had no intention of doing it.

If the devil approaches us with intentions, all of us will be perfect if we just make sure we have good intentions right.

Good intentions are overrated for a reason because the devil knows like “you don’t have that intention, but you are lacking emotionally somewhere”

so he is going to bring someone who is going to fill that gap.

Then when that person fills that gap, you are still gonna be in denial like, “no I would never do that”

… and just wait and wait and wait until you are comfortable enough and admit that it really did happen.

“How Do I APOLOGIZE for HURTING My Wife?”📍 John Gray

Question: “How do I apologize for hurting my wife?

John Gray is in the hot seat right now and is probably hoping that this whole thing will die down but he is not helping either because he issued an apology and I think we should play the apology first before we get into anything .

Here is John Gray’s apology:

I wanna take this moment to tell you I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the areas of my life that I left unattended. That I was apathetic about. The areas where I have treated the calling of God, the grace of God and a hand of God casually in my life. For every area of behavior that has dishonor the holiness of God, I wanna tell you I’m sorry. There have been a number of things and blogs, some of them accurate, some of it not…

His apology maybe is the right thing to do because he is a pastor in the church.

But talking to his wife, it just feels like it will cause more embarrassment.

For me, I don’t like the loud noise.

That’s bringing so much attention to us so in the moment we should shut it down.

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Let’s be quiet in the moment…

How do I apologize for hurting my wife?

What’s the right way to do that?

I don’t think you need to apologize to your wife in public… that can be done privately.

Apologizing in public is just an immediate reaction trying to save face, especially when the issues are so fresh right?

One thing you don’t want to do is feeding to the media,

… like right now they are talking about you and the next thing you wanna do is “Oh I’m sorry… blah blah blab

The natural thing to do is want to react so I feel that he should have just left that for the moment and deal with his issues privately.

Church, yes because he is a pastor and I understand that he needs to say something, but I don’t like the public.


Well maybe the wife likes that, or she prefers that, but I don’t know because there are different kinds of women.

Some women can be like “you know what you dragged me out there, then I want you to apologize to me publicly“.

For me personally it doesn’t help.

I always come from the standpoint of “you are right”.

If you think you are right, you are right!… like who am i?, I don’t have the right to tell you you are not right.

That’s applicable to everything in life including relationship, marriage, apologies or whatever.

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If you feel like the right thing for you to do is to apologize, then you are right…

Now is that going to create the result you want, that is the story that we really should be talking about.

See, if you are worried about whether it is the right thing to do or not, you are always right.

Whatever you feel is right is right.

Is that gonna create the result that you’re looking to achieve, that’s where the work is and that’s where a lot of people miss it.

With that being said, the only time it will be right for you to tender an apology to either a wife or husband or anybody is when that person is asking for it.

Why?

Because you listen, that person is asking for it.

So if the person is asking for it and you truly feel that you should apologize, and there is nothing wrong with apologizing but if you are tendering an apology as a form of reaction to being called out.

You just got called out… you did something wrong and you just want to fix it immediately for the misery to go away.

The first thing that goes to your mind is to say I’m sorry.

That I’m sorry is gonna do more hurt.

It can be considered manipulation because you are manipulating.

That apology will hurt more than it will help you create the result you are looking for.

So, How Do I APOLOGIZE for HURTING my wife?

Well, first of all the best apology is Changed Behavior.

That’s gonna take time so there’s time and patience involved.

That means they may not be willing to hear you out right now, the best thing you want to do is stay away from giving them your mouth in every way that you can think of.

You stay away from that.

Let things calm down.

Let things simmer before you give apologies.

That’s why the apology that John Gray gave is premature.

It cannot possibly be authentic because it’s a reaction form of apology…

but how do I apologize for hurting my wife?

Listen…

Changed Behavior.

Take your time.

If she asks for an apology, then you can tender that in the form of words but the best apology is not words.

Your apology in the form of words is a lot more useful when the person is asking for it.


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