In these 3 videos and articles, you will discover simple steps on how to fix a broken marriage and save your marriage even if your spouse has completely checked out of the marriage.
While you are responsible for 500% of a broken marriage, all you need is 100% of your dedication to master this simple fundamentals.
I will also give you free access to a 200 pages book called “Get My Marriage Back” that you can use to single handed-ly fix your marriage.
The skills you are about to master will not only be useful in marriage but in all type of relationships; even professional.
There is a good chance that you have been reacting out of attachment. That will only push your spouse further away and reduce attraction.
It’s all comes down to attraction. These videos will help you build it back up and your spouse won’t even know why they suddenly want you again.
News broke out that JJC Skillz and his superstar wife Funke Akindele are now separated.
Who is Funke Akindele?
With tons of awards, she is arguably one of the biggest actresses out of Nigeria’s movie industry which is the biggest by volume in the world and number two with respect to everything else.
She is featured in tons of movies on Netflix. Just search her name. She is also popularly known as Jenifa which is one of her most popular series and a movie version which if I’m not mistaking, she directed.
According to wikipedia, she got married to a British-Nigerian rapper popularly known as JJC Skillz.
In December 2018, they welcomed twin boys as a couple.
On June 30, 2022, JJC Skillz announces that they are parting way in a post I saw on an Instagram profile; instablog9JA
I want to share some wisdom with you with regards to this from a man who has been married for well over a decade.
But first… here is the announcement I saw…
And I quote!
“Dear Friends and family I need to let you know that Funke and I have separated. While it lasted we shared a lot of things together and have created 2 beautiful children.
The last two years have been extremely difficult for us. I know I have tried my best to fix things but I believe it is beyond repair now.
3 months ago and at Funkes insistence I moved out of the house and apart from AMVCA have not been able to get Funke to sit down in an amicable manner to discuss the future of our relationship.
I’m making this announcement so that the public is clear that we both are pursuing separate lives.
We still have issues that need to be addressed such as the custody and wellbeing of our children which is paramount as well as business interests which need to be disentangled but I have no doubt that these will be resolved one way or the other
Mr Abdul Bello”
The speculation from sources close to their camp is that Funke is proud… as in arrogant for those who do not understand Nigerian English.
According to an Abimbola on Clubhouse who claimed to know Funke, he said… “though JJC Skillz is not perfect, Funke is not an easy woman to deal with.”
A few months ago, JJC Skillz’s son from his previous relationship dropped some revealing information about their extended family.
It included allegations of child abuse… some serious direct “panel beating” on his son’s head while actually driving in the middle of London street.
As a step son, he also testified to allegations against Funke Akindele that… And I quote…
“She slaps her workers and calls them names. She accuses people of dating JJC Skillz.”
He went on to say Funke has cheated on his Dad.
On the day of the announcement, there were 300,000 Nigerians on ClubHouse arguing JJC Skillz’ financial status before merging life together with Funke.
But then I noticed that none of them was able to substantiate how he was making any substantial amount of money that we can match against what Funke Akindele had going for years before him due to her status.
But I guess that’s beside the point.
Apparently, JJC Skillz had his son live with them and many conflicts ensued that he clearly could not resolve.
But let’s talk about this condescending statement he made.
And I quote…
“I know I have tried my best to fix things but I believe it is beyond repair now. “
This statement is as typical as it comes when a man has just failed in a relationship or marriage (chop breakfast) and he is butt hurt.
It’s disrespectful to himself at best.
The least he could do is change all the I’s in that PR statement to include the mother of his kids.
That will reflect more self-respect than trying to play Mr Perfect who survived a failed marriage.
Is Funke Akindele Perfect or a Toxic Woman?
Apparently, there was a leaked video where Funke was accusing him of cheating and using company funds without proper accountability…
If you have access to that, please share with others in the comment area.
Are you noticing a pattern with high status women with regards to marriage?
Why can’t people be like Omotola Ekehinde (another actress) and her husband who is a professional air pilot?
To me, it’s been clear that Funke and JJC Skillz’ marriage has been going through the mud and it’s very sad for the institution of marriage.
Here are the allegations…
I’ve heard people quoting a blogger called gistlover claiming the cause of separation to be:
1. Infidelity
2. Mismanagement of Funds and
3. Ego
I heard someone say they should have gotten married with a joint bank account. I think that’s an ignorant suggestion.
The person said … and I quote “after all, he is the husband and why can’t he take money from their business account?”
First of all… that’s all speculation.
But let’s be clear. If you as a man choose to go marry a woman of higher status like Funke Akindele, the only joint document you should be expecting to sign is a prenup if her team knows what that hell they are doing.
You can check out Kandi Burruss and Todd of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.
So this guy had been posting a few proverbial songs on social media for a few days prior to his terrible amateur announcement…
This is all “unrealistic expectations” at best.
Funke Akindele is damn near the biggest actress in Nigeria. How do you not expect that to come with a healthy amount of ego that is not necessarily deliberate?
So even if she is guilty of the accusations of arrogance, that will be in addition to the natural.
As usual, this is a terrible version of unrealistic expectation mixed with egotistical pride on steroids.
Ok so apparently and allegedly, JJC Skillz and Funke Akindele lived in a 7 bedroom house but yet had to rent another house in town for his other extended family.
Is This What Funke is Guilty of?
So somehow, that 7 bedroom-family house is for the extended family and not a nuclear family?
Please… in the comment area… help me make this make sense.
I am in no way exonerating Funke here.
But my job on this channel is to hold the leader of the household accountable.
It’s not an indictment. I am just pointing out your leverage point as a man which includes the choice to walk away and mean it when necessary as a leverage for best negotiations.
Gentlemen. We can’t negotiate desire. We can’t afford to discount the power of desire, attraction, emotions and seduction in romantic relationships. These are skills you must learn.
Funke is most likely not going to make a statement… that’s her track record.
But here we have a man who couldn’t wait to run to social media to make such a condescending announcement about his own family. Your ex-spouse, especially with kids made together, remains your family for the rest of your life.
I have to be honest with you. I expect to see more excuses for JJC Skillz outside of holding him to account for his decisions.
After all, you as a man can control your decisions more than you can control another human being who clearly has a higher status in society than you.
To be married to a Funke Akindele, a man will need to be 100% secured in himself.
Newsflash: That’s almost impossible.
Why can’t she just submit to her husband? It’s not that simple.
Even if she tries to submit, insecurities of a typical man will creep to the surface and attract disrespect from a typical woman of higher status.
We are not talking about people on salaries here. There is nothing wrong with a wife making more money than you as a man… but don’t do it… especially if you think there is no such thing as an insecure man.
That’s precisely what you are with that belief system. Don’t bother trying it.
Funke Akindele is a woman of a certain status and she’s been that… long before JJC Skillz came into the picture.
If you’ve been paying attention, sadly, these things are predictable.
That’s especially true in the modern age.
This is the actual reality that many men are having a hard time adjusting for.
I’ve noticed that they’d rather talk about their fantasies of going back to 1933 ways of doing marriage.
Good luck!
So the fact is that men need intensive coaching to marry in this time and age.
Also divorcees should definitely stay away from marriage until intensive 1 year coaching.
I offer all those things extremely affordably. The only excuse is ego.
Ladies, few things in life feel worse than the nagging suspicion that your husband is cheating on you………other than to find out that’s actually the case.
There are a ton of little telltale signs that you may be able to spot that will start your womanly radar ticking.
Some of your man’s actions may end up being innocent enough, but at other times, where there’s smoke, there could be infidelity fire.
Cheating can be in the mind only, purely emotional, or physical, or a combination of all three.
Just like every marriage is different, so too is every case of cheating.
We won’t quote statistics, but studies show that a lot of men (and women for that matter) do contemplate cheating in some way at some point. It’s one way to explain why the nation’s divorce rate currently hovers at around 50 percent.
So, no matter what your degree of suspicion is when it comes to your husband and what’s in his mind, there are a number of things to keep an eye out for.
Don’t take them as gospel by themselves that cheating is going on, but if you see a lot of what follows in your marriage, it may be time for the “we need to talk” intervention.
Frustration in the marriage is one common trigger; the cheater may make several attempts to solve problems to no avail.
Maybe they had second thoughts about getting married or they were jealous over the attention given to a new baby and neither had the skill set to communicate these feelings.
Perhaps the straying spouse has childhood baggage — neglect, abuse, or a parent who cheated — that interferes with his or her ability to maintain a committed relationship.
Less often, the cheater doesn’t value monogamy, lacks empathy, or simply doesn’t care about the consequences.
We will take a look at a number of risk factors and causes for cheating, but it’s important to point out upfront that a partner doesn’t cause their spouse to cheat. Whether it was a cry for help, an exit strategy, or a means to get revenge after being cheated on themselves, the cheater alone is responsible for cheating.
1. He’s suddenly very interested in his appearance.
If your husband was previously indifferent to his appearance and is now spending more time than usual on his hair and clothes, it could be a sign that he’s trying to impress someone else.
He may also be working out more, or paying more attention to his grooming habits in general.
2. He’s working longer hours or taking more business trips.
If your husband’s work schedule has suddenly changed and he’s spending more time at the office or going on more business trips, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be using work as an excuse to meet someone else or to spend time away from home.
3. He’s become more distant and withdrawn.
If your husband is suddenly acting distant and withdrawn, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be less interested in talking to you or spending time with you. He may also seem preoccupied and distracted when you are together.
he’s cheating. He may be buying gifts for someone else, or he may be paying for activities that he wouldn’t normally spend money on.
4. He’s being secretive and evasive.
If your husband is being secretive and evasive, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be hiding his phone or computer from you, or deleting texts and emails without reading them.
He may also be reluctant to share information about his whereabouts or who he’s been spending time with.
5. He’s got a new group of friends.
If your husband has suddenly started hanging out with a new group of friends, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be spending more time with them than with you, or he may be secretive about who they are and what they do together.
6. He’s acting differently around you.
If your husband is acting differently around you, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be more critical of you, or he may be more distant and withdrawn.
He may also seem more interested in sex, or he may be less interested in sex.
7. He’s spending more money than usual.
If your husband is spending more money than usual, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be buying gifts for someone else, or he may be paying for activities that he wouldn’t normally spend money on.
8. What are those charges on the credit card?
If you monitor your monthly credit card statements and you start to see things pop up that you don’t recognize, they may be harmless, or they could be signs of monkey business that’s afoot.
If you can’t match up the expense with the story, that’s a problem. Also, if he’s now paying in cash for things that used to be charged, that’s a money monkey business concern as well.
9. He wants you to stop doing nice things for him.
Sometimes known as the Catholic guilt syndrome. If you’re being kind and considerate, as relationships should be, it could be revving up the conflict in him if he’s thinking about cheating or already doing so.
10. Cheat on me once, shame on you. Cheat on me twice, shame on me.
A spouse who has cheated in the past and gotten caught is more likely to think they can get away by doing a better job of cheating the second time around. If your spouse has a history of cheating, and you suspect cheating is happening again, it may be time to make that spouse a part of your history instead.
Why Do Husbands Cheat?
There are a lot of reasons that husbands cheat on their wives. Sometimes it has to do with the husband’s own insecurities or feeling like he isn’t good enough for his wife.
Sometimes cheating is a way to get revenge after an argument or disagreement. And sometimes, husbands cheat simply because they’re curious or they want to experience something new.
A breakup is never easy, but mending a broken relationship can be even harder.
If you’re having trouble getting back on track with your partner, here are some tips on how to repair a broken relationship.
If your relationship is in trouble, don’t despair.
There are ways to fix it. All relationships have their ups and downs, but if you’re finding that yours is consistently heading south, then something needs to change.
The failure of a relationship is always associated with emotional pain. After all, you lose a person you once loved very much.
For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for people to close their eyes to the facts and cling to a partnership despite dissatisfaction.
In the long run, however, this worsens the suffering for both parties.
Therapists don’t always use the term “broken” to describe a relationship in need of repair. Instead, they use “dysfunctional relationship dynamics,”
“A dysfunctional relationship dynamic is a way that a couple has of communicating and relating that isn’t working to create an emotionally safe and supportive connection,” she says.
“It’s often easy to see. One or both partners is unhappy, angry, and frustrated. Usually, both partners feel like the other one doesn’t hear or understand them.”
The first step is recognizing that there’s a problem. If you’re not sure, ask yourself these questions:
Do we argue all the time?
Do we never have fun anymore?
Do we always seem to be annoyed with each other?
Is one of us always unhappy?
If you answered yes to any of these, then your relationship is in trouble. But don’t worry, there are things you can do to turn it around.
1. Accept your role in damaging the relationship
The first step to fixing a relationship you ruined is to accept that you caused it to crumble. Speaking from experience, Christy says that it can be the hardest part of the journey.
“I ruined the best relationship I ever had and yet I was more focused on finding faults with David and our relationship to feel less horrible about what had transpired. I think it’s a common tendency.
You inevitably look for faults in your partner that you can use as an excuse to justify your own actions and mistakes,” she adds.
If you want to fix a broken relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it is imperative to focus on the I rather than you. Acknowledge and accept your mistakes, and only then can you even hope to even begin repairing your damaged bond.
2. Be honest
The only way to fix a relationship is, to be honest with your partner. This means being truthful about your feelings, admitting when you’re wrong, and sharing your thoughts and desires.
It also means being honest about what you expect from the relationship. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
3. Initiate dialogue
To be able to fix a broken relationship with your girlfriend or boyfriend, you need to get through to them and have a conversation. That entails putting your ego aside and reaching out.
Even if you’re not ready to talk about your feelings until you’re face-to-face, reaching out over text can still be a good start to break the ice.
Of course, you can’t hope for a message to fix a broken relationship, but it will give you something to work with.
4. Brainstorm over how to fix a relationship you broke
Once you’ve initiated a conversation, it will be time to brainstorm and come up with a plan on how to fix your relationship.
You need to be clear about what you want from the relationship, and what you’re willing to do to make it work again. If you’re both on the same page, then it’s time to start working on your relationship.
5. State your intentions clearly
When you’re ready to take things to the next level, it’s important to state your intentions clearly.
This means being honest about your feelings and what you want from the relationship. It also means setting boundaries and communicating your needs.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
6. Practice active listening
One of the most important things you can do to fix a broken relationship is to practice active listening.
This means really listening to what your partner has to say and trying to understand their point of view.
It also means being respectful and taking time to respond thoughtfully. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
7. Reflect on what went wrong
Once you’ve taken some time to listen to your partner and understand their perspective, it’s important to reflect on what went wrong in the relationship.
This means being honest about your own role in the problems and taking responsibility for your actions.
It also means being open to hearing about your partner’s experiences and feelings. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
8. Make a plan to change your behavior
If you want to fix a broken relationship, you need to be prepared to change your behavior.
This means making a conscious effort to do things differently in the future. It also means being patient and giving your partner time to adjust to the new you.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
9. Focus on the love you shared
When you’re trying to repair a broken relationship, it’s important to focus on the love you shared.
This means reminding yourself of the good times and why you fell in love in the first place. It also means being patient and giving your partner time to adjust to the new you.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
10. Apologize to undo the damage in a relationship
One of the most important things you can do to fix a broken relationship is to apologize for your part in the problems.
This means being honest about your mistakes and taking responsibility for your actions.
It also means being open to hearing about your partner’s experiences and feelings.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
11. Let go of expectations
When you’re trying to repair a broken relationship, it’s important to let go of your expectations.
This means accepting that things will be different from how they were before and being open to new possibilities.
It also means being patient and giving your partner time to adjust to the new you.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
12. Move forward one day at a time
When you’re trying to repair a broken relationship, it’s important to take things one day at a time.
This means being patient and giving your partner time to adjust to the new you.
It also means being open to new possibilities and accepting that things will be different from how they were before.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
13. Don’t push their buttons
One of the most important things you can do to fix a broken relationship is to avoid pushing your partner’s buttons.
This means being respectful and taking time to understand their perspective. It also means being patient and giving your partner time to adjust to the new you.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
14. Stay in control of the discourse
When you’re trying to repair a broken relationship, it’s important to stay in control of the discourse.
This means being respectful and taking time to listen to your partner. It also means being patient and giving your partner time to adjust to the new you. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
15. Steer clear of the blame game
When you’re trying to repair a broken relationship, it’s important to avoid playing the blame game.
This means being honest about your role in the problems and taking responsibility for your actions. It also means being open to hearing about your partner’s experiences and feelings.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
16. Be patient
One of the most important things you can do to fix a broken relationship is to be patient and give your partner time.
This means being respectful and taking time to understand their perspective.
It also means being open to new possibilities and accepting that things will be different from how they were before.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
17. Earn the trust back
When you’re trying to repair a broken relationship, it’s important to earn your partner’s trust back.
This means being honest and transparent in your communication.
It also means being open to hearing about your partner’s experiences and feelings. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
18. Work together as a team
When you’re trying to repair a broken relationship, it’s important to work together as a team.
This means being honest and transparent in your communication. It also means being open to hearing about your partner’s experiences and feelings.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
19. Keep your promises
When you’re trying to repair a broken relationship, it’s important to keep your promises.
This means being honest and transparent in your communication. It also means being open to hearing about your partner’s experiences and feelings.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
20. Bring back affection in your relationship
When you’re trying to repair a broken relationship, it’s important to bring back the affection.
This means being loving and present in your interactions. It also means being open to new possibilities and accepting that things will be different from how they were before.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
The Warning Signs Your Relationship is Over
1. Other people and things come first
If you’ve noticed that your partner is putting other people and things before you, it’s a warning sign that your relationship is in trouble.
This means that they’re not prioritizing your needs and they’re not invested in the relationship. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
2. Arguments begin when you ask for something
If you find that you’re always the one initiating arguments, it’s a sign that your partner is no longer interested in fighting for the relationship.
This means that they’re not willing to put in the effort to make things work. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
3. No intimacy or only intimacy
If you’ve noticed that your partner is no longer interested in being intimate with you, it’s a sign that they’re no longer invested in the relationship.
This can be a difficult thing to deal with, but it’s important, to be honest about your needs. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
4. Secretive behavior
If you’ve noticed that your partner is being more secretive, it’s a sign that they’re not being honest with you.
This means that they’re hiding something from you or they’re not telling you the whole truth. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
5. Your partner is always right
If you find that your partner is always right, it’s a sign that they’re not willing to compromise.
This means that they’re not interested in finding a middle ground or working together to find a solution. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
6. You’re always the one apologizing
If you find that you’re always the one apologizing, it’s a sign that your partner is not taking responsibility for their actions.
This means that they’re not willing to admit when they’re wrong or to work towards fixing the problem. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
7. They don’t want to talk about the future
If your partner is no longer interested in talking about the future, it’s a sign that they’re not invested in the relationship.
This means that they’re not willing to commit to anything long-term or make plans for the future. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
8. You’re always walking on eggshells
If you find that you’re always walking on eggshells around your partner, it’s a sign that they’re not stable.
This means that they’re unpredictable and their moods can swing without warning. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
9. They’re always threatening to leave
If your partner is always threatening to leave, it’s a sign that they’re not happy in the relationship.
This means that they’re looking for an excuse to get out of the relationship and they’re not committed to working things out. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
10. You don’t trust them
If you don’t trust your partner, it’s a sign that the relationship is in trouble. This means that there’s a lack of communication and respect. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?
A healthy relationship is one where both partners are committed to working things out. They’re willing to communicate and they’re open to hearing each other’s needs. They’re also willing to compromise and find a middle ground. Lastly, a healthy relationship is built on trust and respect.
Characteristics of Healthy Relationships
Respect for privacy and space. You don’t have to be with your partner 24/7.
Your partner encourages you to spend time with friends without them and to participate in activities that you enjoy.
You feel comfortable expressing your opinions and concerns to your partner.
Your feel physically safe and your partner doesn’t force you to have sex or to do things that make you feel uncomfortable.
Your partner respects your wishes and feelings and you can compromise and negotiate when there are disagreements or conflicts.
The foundation of a healthy relationship includes:
Boundaries: You and your partner are able to find ways to meet each other’s needs in ways that you both feel comfortable with.
Communication: You and your partner can share your feelings, even when you don’t agree, in a way that makes the other person feel safe, heard, and not judged.
Trust: Building trust can take time and allows couples to be vulnerable with one another knowing that they can rely on the other person.
Consent: Most commonly used when you’re being sexually active, giving consent means that you are okay with what is happening and that no one is forcing you or guilting you into doing anything that you don’t want to do. Consent can be given and taken back at any time, and giving consent once does not mean you automatically give consent in the future.
See how these things go hand in hand by exploring the other sections to your left.
Please keep in mind that in some abusive relationships, trying to enforce boundaries, honest communication, trust, and other healthy behaviors could put your safety at risk. Remember, abuse is about power and control and someone who is abusive might not want to give up their control over you.
Spend time with your Partner
Quality time is important for any relationship, but it can be especially helpful if your partner is feeling disconnected from you.
Here are some ideas on how to spend quality time with your partner:
Talk and listen to each other: Have an open conversation where you both share how you’re feeling. Take turns talking and really try to listen to what the other person is saying. This can help build trust and understanding.
Do something together: Spend time doing an activity that you both enjoy. This can be anything from going for a walk to playing a game to cooking dinner together.
Be present: When you’re with your partner, try to be fully present and engaged in the conversation or activity. This means putting away your phone, making eye contact, and really paying attention to what the other person is saying or doing.
If you’re not sure how to start a conversation with your partner, here are some questions that can help get the ball rolling:
What did you do today?
What are you looking forward to in the near future?
How are you feeling?
Is there anything on your mind that you’d like to talk about?
What can I do to support you right now?
By spending quality time with your partner, you can help rebuild your relationship and create a stronger connection.
Conclusion:
There is no one-size-fits-all solution to repairing a broken relationship. Every situation is different and will require its own unique approach.
However, by following the tips above, you can start to rebuild your relationship and create a stronger, healthier bond with your partner.
And if you find yourself in an abusive relationship, please remember that you are not alone. Help is available.
Please reach out to a friend, family member, or domestic violence hotline for support.
If you found this article helpful, please share it with your friends and family. And if you have any questions or would like to share your own experiences, please leave a comment below. We’d love to hear from you.
The No Contact Rule is a commonly recommended solution to various problems in the immediate aftermath of a breakup. This is a time when emotions can run high and fluctuate wildly, so it is often a good time for some distance between you and your ex. This can help you take some time to think about what it is you really want.
The rule is commonly set at 30 days, although it can be shorter in some cases or even go on permanently in others. During this time, ex-partners may avoid all forms of contact, whether face-to-face or over the phone, text, or social media. Some couples may even block each other on social media sites.
The specific rules can vary among different people, but the key feature is limiting communication.
How To Start No Contact?
If you have been contacting your ex regularly since the breakup, the best way to start no contact is to just stop contacting them.
If your ex has been initiating contact with you on and off, you should let them know that you intend to take some space from them and that you want them to stop contacting you for a while. You should be honest about why you are doing this, that is, to help you heal from the breakup and get some perspective.
The signs that the No Contact Rule is working might be confusing. You are unlikely to see all of these signs, but more than one or two may well signal that things are working out the way you would like.
1. You get a text from your ex
Of course, if you suddenly get a text from your ex, he has clearly been thinking about you for some reason. If he says that he is missing you, you can be sure that the No Contact Rule has worked. However, it is more likely that if your ex reaches out to you, the reasons will be less obvious.
If he asks you vaguely, “how are you doing?” he may be checking up to see if you are okay, or he may be trying to test the water with a general conversation. Either way, he is probably aware that breaking the No Contact Rule may signal that he thinks about you. Your ex-boyfriend clearly feels that contacting you is still important enough to be worth doing.
2. Your ex posts about you on social media
If your ex-boyfriend posts about you on social media, it can be a sign that he is thinking about you. This can take the form of a comment on one of your posts, or even just a “like” on something you have put up.
It can also be a sign that he is trying to get your attention by posting something that he knows you will see. This might be a photo of the two of you together, or even just a status update about something that you have in common.
3. Your ex talks about you to mutual friends
If your ex-boyfriend is talking about you to your mutual friends, this can be a sign that he is thinking about you. He may be sharing things in order to get them off of his chest, or perhaps he does not want to keep this relationship secret from the people who already know you both.
If your ex-boyfriend talks about your breakup with other people, it can be a sign that he is not over you yet. He may be hoping for sympathy from others, or he could even be trying to make you jealous by talking about other women.
4. Your ex-boyfriend stares at you
If your ex-boyfriend stares at you, this can be a sign that he is still thinking about you. It may be that he is a little obsessed with you and simply can’t take his eyes off of you.
However, it is also possible that your ex-boyfriend is simply trying to figure out if there is any chance that you might still be interested in getting back together. If your ex feels like he has missed an opportunity, or if he is simply not ready to let go of this relationship, then a lingering stare may be the sign that you need.
5. Your ex-boyfriend asks mutual friends about you
If your ex-boyfriend asks mutual friends about you, it can be a sign that he is thinking about you and wants to know how things’ are going. This may be a sign that he is trying to keep tabs on you, or it could mean that he simply wants some kind of connection with you.
There are many possible reasons why your ex-boyfriend might ask mutual friends about you, so it is important not to jump to conclusions too quickly. However, if this seems like a pattern, it may be a sign that he is not ready to move on just yet.
6. Your ex-boyfriend tries to make you jealous
If your ex-boyfriend tries to make you jealous, it could be a sign that he is still thinking about you. He may be trying to get your attention by flirting with other women, or he could be trying to make you see that he is still attractive and desirable.
Your ex-boyfriend may also be trying to make you jealous in order to get a reaction out of you. If he is hoping that you will get angry or upset, it can be a sign that he is not over you yet.
7. Your ex-boyfriend sends you a DM
If your ex-boyfriend sends you a message on social media, it can be a sign that he is thinking about you. He may simply want to get in touch to chat and catch up, or he could be trying to gauge your feelings by asking if you would like to meet up.
This could also be a sign that your ex-boyfriend is trying to start a conversation with you in order to see if there is any chance of getting back together. If he is asking about your life and how you are doing, it may be a sign that he still cares about you.
8. Your ex-boyfriend likes your posts
If your ex-boyfriend likes your posts on social media, it can be a sign that he is still thinking about you. He may be interested in what you are doing and how you are feeling, or he could simply be trying to get your attention.
Liking your posts can also be a way for your ex-boyfriend to start a conversation with you. If he leaves a comment on one of your posts, it may be a sign that he wants to talk to you.
9. Your ex-boyfriend texts you
If your ex-boyfriend texts you, it can be a sign that he is thinking about you. He may simply want to talk to you and catch up, or he may be interested in getting back together.
Texting can also be a way for your ex-boyfriend to gauge your feelings. If he is asking how you are doing and what you have been up to, it may be a sign that he still cares about you.
10. Your ex-boyfriend calls you
If your ex-boyfriend calls you, it can be a sign that he is thinking about you. He may want to talk to you and catch up, or he may be interested in getting back together.
Calling can also be a way for your ex-boyfriend to gauge your feelings. If he is asking how you are doing and what you have been up to, it may be a sign that he still cares about you.
Benefits of Using the No Contact Rule
1. The No Contact Rule can help you take a step back and gain some much-needed perspective. During this time, you can focus on yourself and your own well-being, instead of obsessing over your ex-boyfriend.
2. The No Contact Rule gives you some space to reflect on the relationship and why it ended. This can help you gain a better understanding of the issues that may have led to the breakup, and it can help you work through any negative emotions or lingering doubts.
3. The No Contact Rule gives your ex-boyfriend time to reflect on the relationship as well. This can be a good thing because it gives him a chance to miss you and realize that he wants to get back together.
4. The No Contact Rule can help you avoid any further drama or conflict with your ex-boyfriend. If you are constantly arguing or fighting, it can be very difficult to move on and ell. By taking some space, he may be able to cultivate a more positive attitude towards you.
5. The No Contact Rule can help you focus on your own happiness. This is a time to focus on yourself and your own needs, without worrying about your ex-boyfriend. By taking care of yourself, you will be in a better place emotionally and mentally, which can make it easier to get over your ex and move on with your life. Ultimately, the benefits of the No Contact Rule are many, and it can be a powerful tool for anyone going through a breakup. If you are thinking about trying this strategy yourself, just remember to stay positive and stay focused on your own needs.
What is self-respect?
Self-respect is the ability to value and treat yourself with dignity and respect. It involves having a positive view of yourself and trusting in your abilities, as well as honoring your own needs and desires. Other aspects of self-respect include respecting others, standing up for yourself, speaking your mind, and taking care of yourself physically and emotionally.
Tips to develop and show self-respect
1. Develop a positive view of yourself
One of the most important things you can do for your self-respect is to develop a positive view of yourself. This means believing in your own abilities and trusting that you are capable of achieving your goals. It also involves accepting yourself for who you are, flaws and all. If you have trouble developing a positive view of yourself, try spending some time each day doing things that make you feel good about yourself, such as practicing self-care, working on a passion project, or spending time with loved ones.
2. Speak your mind and stand up for yourself
Another key aspect of self-respect is being willing to speak your mind and stand up for yourself. This means having the confidence to share your opinions and beliefs, even if they are different from others. It also means knowing when to say “no” and setting boundaries with others. If you find it difficult to speak up for yourself, try practicing in less challenging situations first, such as with friends or family members. Once you feel more confident, you can start speaking up in more difficult situations.
3. Honor your needs and desires
In order to show self-respect, it is important to honor your own needs and desires. This means listening to your gut instinct and following your heart, even if it means going against the grain. It also involves being kind to yourself and prioritizing your well-being, both physically and emotionally.
4. Take care of yourself physically and emotionally
In addition to honoring your needs and desires, it is essential to take good care of yourself on a physical and emotional level. This means eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep each night, taking time for relaxation and hobbies, and seeking professional help if you are struggling with your mental health.
5. Respect others
Finally, showing self-respect also involves respecting others. This means treating others with kindness and consideration, even if you don’t agree with them. It also includes being open-minded and listening to others’ perspectives, even if they are different from your own. By developing and showing self-respect, you can cultivate healthier relationships with others and a more positive view of yourself.
Conclusion
The No Contact Rule is a commonly recommended strategy for dealing with various relationship challenges.
This can help you take some time to reflect on your feelings and priorities and decide if you really want to get back together with your ex-boyfriend.
However, if you do decide to reach out to your ex, it is important to be honest, patient, and understanding.
This may help you rebuild trust and restore your relationship over time, but there is no guarantee that this will happen. Ultimately, whether or not the No Contact Rule is right for you depends on a number of different factors, including the reasons for your breakup, how long it has been since the split, and what you are hoping to achieve by getting back together.
There is no definite answer to this question, as the success of a relationship after no contact depends on a number of different factors. These can include how long it has been since the breakup, what led to the split in the first place, and what each partner hopes to achieve by getting back together. However, if you feel like no contact is the right strategy for you, it may help you to work through some of the challenges in your relationship and to improve your chances of getting back together with your ex-boyfriend.
Breaking the no contact rule can have negative consequences for your relationship, such as making it harder to rebuild trust and restore your connection with your ex-boyfriend. However, if you do break this rule unintentionally or by accident, there is no need to worry. Simply take some time to reflect on what happened and try to avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future.
The decision to text your ex-boyfriend first after no contact is a personal one, and there is no right or wrong answer. Ultimately, it depends on factors such as how long it has been since the breakup, what led to the split in the first place, and what you are hoping to achieve by getting back together.
In this article, we will discuss how to fix a broken relationship even if it’s within a marriage.
May be you feel like all hope is lost… relax…. read this first.
Why Do Relationships Break Or Fail?
There are many reasons why relationships fall apart.
It could be that you and your partner have grown apart over time and now have different interests, goals, and values.
It could be that you’re unable to resolve conflict in a healthy way, or that one or both of you tend to withdraw or shut down when things get tough.
It could be that you have different ideas about how to handle finances, child-rearing, or other important life decisions.
Whatever the reason is, if you find yourself in a failing or broken relationship, it’s important to be intentional with your actions or lack there of.
Otherwise, the situation is likely to only get worse.
The simple truth is that we are humans.
We’re complicated.
And relationships between complicated humans are even MORE complicated.
#1. Trust Has Left The Building
The cement of your relationship is Trust. without it, your relationship will fail.
Trust issues are very common.
Trust issues usually start in our childhood.
We learn them in our families.
And then we bring them into our relationships.
When we stop trusting ourselves, we stopped trusting others.
And when we stop trusting others, we stop trusting ourselves.
Trust is a two-way street.
Some of the bad things that happen when you lose trust are:
Infidelity
Jealousy
Anxious behavior
Smothering
Insecurities
And a whole lot more.
The first thing you need to do is to figure out whether your trust issues are because your partner is not trust-able
…OR these are anxiety and insecurity issues inside of you.
Then you have to work on getting reconnected to your partner.
I’ll tell you more about how to do that in a bit.
#2. Your Communication Sucks
This is another one of those very common reasons relationships start to fall apart.
If you’re not communicating well, then you’re not going to be able to meet each other’s needs.
You’re always going to have misunderstandings and a deep breakdown of connection.
Communication is one of the most important factors in a relationship because it’s how you navigate with your partner
If your communication isn’t in sync and compatible, you will definitely have problems.
And eventually, you will turn to a therapist or counselor to help you with them.
But chances are it will be too late.
Make sure you’re always working on your communication.
Not just with your romantic partner, but with everyone in your life.
#3. You are on different maps/timetables
Sometimes it just happens that we are on different time schedules, or in different places in our life.
The timing is just wrong.
It can be hard to see this when you want a relationship to work.
But sometimes the situation is out of your control and you just need to walk away.
And sometimes you meet in the same place but you’re going at different speeds.
So you fall out of step with each other.
He might be going slower, and you might be moving faster towards your relationship goals.
You have to decide for yourself if you’re willing and patient enough to go at your partner’s speed.
Sometimes this means you have different priorities at the moment.
You may want to start a family, but he wants to start a business.
This will be something you must navigate and negotiate along the way if you want it to work.
#4. You’re just not a match
Very frequently, I see couples that get together and start a relationship.
But they didn’t ever stop to really make sure the other person was right for them.
One or both of them was just desperate to get into a relationship as fast as they could.
So they threw their needs out the window and ignored how wrong this person was for them.
They might have been seeking relief from anxiety, or from loneliness. But for whatever reason, they didn’t choose well.
If each person in a relationship is completely healthy, then they could probably start a relationship with almost anybody.
But compatibility is a huge issue if you are not in a whole and healthy place with your own self-esteem and self-worth.
One of the biggest love myths out there is that love conquers everything.
The good news is, that there are relationship advice that you can execute to repair the damage.
#1. Talk about what’s going on
The first step is to talk about what’s wrong.
You need to express your feelings and needs in a way that is respectful and non-blaming.
If you can’t do that, I recommends seeing a therapist or counselor who can help you learn how to communicate effectively.
#2. Make time for each other
One of the biggest reasons relationships fail is because couples don’t make time for each other.
Life gets busy and before you know it, you’re living parallel lives under the same roof.
You need to make time for each other—time to talk, time to connect.
#3. Be willing to compromise
In any relationship, there are going to be times when you have to compromise.
You might not always get your way, but that’s OK.
The important thing is that you’re both willing to give a little.
#4. Learn to forgive
If you want your relationship to thrive, you need to learn to forgive.
We all make mistakes—we’re only human.
The key is to not hold onto the anger and resentment.
If you can learn to let go, it will do wonders for your relationship.
#5. Don’t take each other for granted
One of the easiest ways to kill a relationship is to take your partner for granted.
We all need to feel valued and appreciated.
If you stop doing the things that made your partner fall in love with you in the first place, don’t be surprised if they start to look elsewhere.
#6. Keep the romance alive
Another common mistake couples make is letting the romance die.
It’s important to keep the spark alive.
Do the things you used to do when you were first dating—go on dates, have fun together, show each other how much you care.
#7. Work as a team
In any relationship, it’s important to remember that you’re on the same team.
You’re in this together, so you need to work together to make it work.
That means being supportive, understanding, and helpful—even when you don’t feel like it.
#8. Don’t try to change each other
One of the biggest mistakes couples make is trying to change each other all in the name of duty and responsibility forgetting that it is a romantic relationship at the end of the day.
You need to accept each other—flaws and all.
If you can learn to love and accept each other just as you are, it will do wonders for your relationship.
#9. Communicate, communicate, communicate
If there’s one piece of advice that experts agree on, it’s that communication is key to a successful relationship… to put more accurately… EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION.
You need to be able to talk to each other—about everything.
The more you communicate, the closer you’ll become .
#10. Develop Listening Skills
It is impossible to avoid arguments in any relationship.
And in those moments, it is equally impossible to prevent different perspectives of understanding right and wrong and ways of solving problems.
In such circumstances, there is no limit on what is required to be said and heard by both parties, which is necessary.
Because sometimes, or most of the time, the conversation becomes so fierce that the very limit of speaking is violated.
Due to a lack of listening ability, you take some such steps in anger which directly damages the relationship.
#11. Accepting the Circumstances and Your Partner
Circumstances can never be right and wrong in relationships.
Didn’t you see people coming together in bad times?
Haven’t you noticed people make or break in bad times?
If you look at history, you will find hundreds of examples where people came together in worse conditions, whether WWI or WWII.
Whether it’s raising a voice against racism or sexism.
People always came together to face the storm and grow out of them.
It is all up to our belief whether we can adapt to the circumstances or not.
We should always learn from bad times and always make good use of good times.
That’s the key to getting along with your partner.
#12. The Initiative Is Crucial to Overcome Relationship Struggles
Whether your relationship is on the verge of breaking or you are going through many troubles, if you want to stay with your partner and feel that everything will be right after a while, then the initiative you take to repair your relationship is always proven effective.
After a big fight, if you take the initiative and make your partner feel that they are more important than your needs, then believe that your initiative is commendable enough to strengthen your relationship.
The initiative will always be needed to keep the relationship successful and constantly fresh; a good initiative always brings closeness.
#13. Apologize To Restore the Relationship
One of the hallmarks of a bad relationship is that both sides see apologizing as their weakness, due to which they feel hesitant to apologize even if they want.
According to the study, ‘The Psychology of offering an Apology by Karina Schumann it’s proposed that the reasons why people hesitate to offer an apology or high-quality apologies are,
Low concern for the victim or relationship,
The perceived threat to self-image,
And perceived apology ineffectiveness.
But, if you want to fix your relationship, you must rise above these barriers.
Because if you don’t, what you do is end the 1% scope of repairing a broken relationship.
To cherish any relationship, it is as essential to apologize as to give forgiveness; it is precisely the same as washing and drying cloth.
Here, both water and sunlight make the cloth wearable.
Similarly, both apologizing and offering forgiveness make the relationship believable.
But be sure to be clear on why you are apologizing and ensure you’ve taken enough time to assess what went wrong; be intentional.
#14. Understand Your Moral, Social, and Personal Circle
Even though your relationship is going through a bad phase – facing trust issues, anxiety, separation, etc., if you are fulfilling your moral responsibility towards your partner, you are trying to take your relationship in the right direction.
Here you have a sense of moral obligation and personal or social commitments.
You know how to fulfill all these responsibilities well, then understand that you have almost saved your relationship from being ruined.
Because responsibilities always give strength, courage, and the ability to understand right and wrong.
And if you have all this in you, you will not let anything go wrong.
#15. Be Sure to Give Opportunities to Build Trust to Improve the Relationship
Trust issues in a relationship can never blossom a tree of love.
Therefore, in a broken relationship, it is necessary to create such opportunities to build trust between both parties, which can instill a sense of confidence in both parties towards each other.
And it’s not that it takes a lot of effort to build trust, it’s just small things that ensure that you have unwavering faith in your partner.
For example, if you have life insurance and your partner is a nominee in it, or they are your partner in any of your big projects, or you take your partner’s advice for small household needs.
Now it comes to how do you determine the opportunities to build trust?
Well to build trust you need combined forces of different human fundamental aspects.
You cannot build trust all alone.
And the aspects are,
Transparency.
Respect and…
Loyalty.
Without these, it’s impossible to trust or build it in any given situation.
Let’s discuss each in detail.
#16. Loyalty Is Essential to Keep Yourself Away From a Damaged Relationship
You have to be loyal to your partner to mend a deteriorating relationship because you must understand that hurting feelings will prove fatal for any relationship.
If you are lying to your partner or have a relationship with someone else, then understand that you are not paying attention to your partner’s needs
You don’t care if your infidelity can lead to your partner getting depressed and how bad the outcome will be.
If you are not loyal to your partner, then understand that you do not respect your relationship at all.
And where there is no respect, there’s no love.
And where there’s no love, there’s no relationship.
It has been destroyed.
Also, if you’re not loyal, you cannot expect your partner to be loyal.
Once you cross your line, they might probably cross as well.
And thus, you’ve both entered the phase of a broken relationship.
#17. Controlling and Managing Your Expectations
If the ambition and expectations start exceeding the limit in any relationship, whether the relationship of friendship, husband-wife, or business, then understand that the seeds of condemnation, neglect, and hatred have been planted in that relationship.
It is essential to regulate and control the expectations to live in harmony because the human mind always craves to get something new and thrilled.
And this craving starts to take away that person from his/her loved ones.
The person begins to remain irritable… resentment
He starts to force his people to satisfy his craving which further gives birth to instability in the relationship.
When his expectations don’t get fulfilled, he starts to blame his people.
Both the parties in the relationship should set their expectations according to their partner’s economic, social, and family situation.
This situation can be better controlled by mutual coordination.
#18. Do Not Take Any Wrong Decisions Under Stress or Anger
When the relationship starts deteriorating, it is natural for the person associated with that relationship to go into depression.
But can that person improve his relationship by making some wrong decisions due to depression?
You should answer this.
What’s your mind saying?
What’s your first reaction?
I believe it’s NO.
By taking a bad decision, you are harming yourself and the people you love.
Instead of fixing your relationship with one wrong decision, you are on the contrary worsening it even more.
In a deteriorating relationship, the person makes some bad decisions, such as drinking or getting intoxicated, abusing the partner, harming them, trying to hurt himself, not showing respect to the people in the relationship, adopting bad habits, etc.
Due to even more wrong decisions, a person tends to end the relationship forever.
And from there, it becomes tough to improve the relationship.
Therefore, make every noble effort to fix your relationship with thoughtfulness so that your relationship becomes stronger… be intentional.
#19. Seek professional help
If you’ve tried everything and nothing seems to be working, it may be time to seek professional help.
A professional can help you learn how to communicate effectively, resolve conflict, and deal with other issues that may be affecting your relationship.
While it’s not always easy, repairing the damage in a relationship is possible—if you’re willing to put in the work.
With patience, understanding, and a little effort, you and your partner can get back on track and build a stronger, more intimate connection.
What makes a healthy relationship?
Every relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons.
Part of what defines a healthy relationship is sharing a common goal for exactly what you want the relationship to be and where you want it to go.
And that’s something you’ll only know by talking deeply and honestly with your partner.
However, there are also some characteristics that most healthy relationships have in common.
Knowing these basic principles can help keep your relationship meaningful, fulfilling, and exciting whatever goals you’re working towards or challenges you’re facing together.
A. You maintain a meaningful emotional connection with each other.
You each make the other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled.
There’s a difference between being loved and feeling loved.
When you feel loved, it makes you feel accepted and valued by your partner, like someone truly gets you.
Some relationships get stuck in peaceful coexistence, but without the partners truly relating to each other emotionally.
While the union may seem stable on the surface, a lack of ongoing involvement and emotional connection serves only to add distance between two people.
B. You’re not afraid of (respectful) disagreement.
Some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree.
The key to a strong relationship, though, is not to be fearful of conflict.
You need to feel safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation, or insisting on being right.
C. You keep outside relationships and interests alive.
Despite the claims of romantic fiction or movies, no one person can meet all of your needs.
In fact, expecting too much from your partner can put unhealthy pressure on a relationship.
To stimulate and enrich your romantic relationship, it’s important to sustain your own identity outside of the relationship, preserve connections with family and friends, and maintain your hobbies and interests.
D. You communicate openly and honestly.
Good and effective communication is a key part of any relationship.
When both people know what they want from the relationship and feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires,
…it can increase trust and strengthen the bond between you.
In Conclusion…
Good, healthy relationships will sometimes be challenging.
But it’s all worth it.
You and your partner put yourselves through the challenge for the good things that come from a relationship.
Remember that this is always the case, even during the best phases of a relationship.
The challenge is further amplified during or after a separation.
Our faulty ideas of love, alone, won’t keep a relationship functioning.
It needs care and attention to allow both partners to grow and develop throughout its course.
A relationship can’t stay like it is during the first stages, skillful partnership will be required to make things work.
A healthy relationship will only happen if both people are prepared to work at the outcome, making sure all of the key elements work.
The most difficult challenges can be overcome with two people working together, for the mutual good.
If you have been going through difficult times, it can be hard to get a perspective on things.
It’s possible to do this with logical, sensible thinking.
Remember that the person you love has not disappeared, no matter what the circumstances.
You must reconnect with that person, allowing them to reconnect to you, in order to build or rebuild a solid, healthy relationship.
The main reasons why relationships fail are loss of trust, poor communication, lack of respect, a difference in priorities, and little intimacy.
A common trajectory for the end of a relationship is the slow tapering-off; a protracted period of tell-tale signs and wilful denial, as motivation to patch things up dwindles in one or both partners. A sudden, sharp break can feel more shocking, but it’s also clearer.
A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked. On a basic level, any relationship that makes you feel worse rather than better can become toxic over time.
