“For those who need to hear me say this. The name of the Lord is holy. The standard is holiness. The word of God is utterly holy. He is not to be toyed with. Church is not a gain and pastors are held to the highest of standards, moral integrity, character when no one is looking, fidelity and faithfulness in marriage and for me, not submitting to process, not staying accountable and not utilizing the voices available to teach me the tools have caused me to make bad decisions.”
For a minute I got confused there, I thought he was gonna say “Touch not my anointed”.
But if you read between the lines, you will know that that’s really what he meant.
I’m just used to “touch not my anointed one” because that’s how our own Nigerian pastors…
That’s how they say “don’t judge me, how dare you” that’s what I was getting from there but in a different form.
I was expecting him to say “Touch not my anointed”, the usual one that they say.
But he did say it in a different form and then at the end of the day he is saying he didn’t take accountability,
…I mean his whole message is confusing.
Many pastors I know are really struggling with their marriages and the only common thing with them is because they are all pastors.
And these are all extremely huge pastors.
Big pastors, some of them are still very loud about how a woman should be submissive.
That’s to support the point we are making here.
It’s bigger than just your holiness Bro.
Maybe striving for holiness is better than holiness because Holiness is not attainable.
“…why do you use me? I didn’t ask for this. You raised me up and I told you I’m not the one. I told you I got all of these stuff I have been praying for years, my answers never come. But I pray for others and you answer them right away. Why did you raise me up if you knew that I was gonna miss it and in the process of trying to serve you, my humanity would explode from behind the facade of religious perfection…” – John Gray
He just blamed God for everything, “I told you I’m not capable of being a pastor and you make me a pastor?”
But he’s been collecting the money.
He did a show called The Book of John Gray, I love that show.
He was also a background singer back in the day.
I actually think he is such a wise guy until this issue happened.
When he speaks, It’s his talent you can’t take that away from him.
A gift is a gift and he has that gift,
… but that doesn’t mean you are not going to be responsible for your emotional affairs or happenings.
See when you tender an apology too early this is what happens,
… you will say the wrong things.
First of all, that apology was too long.
He should have done the PR thing.
The wisest people in this world, what they do is they send a PR to go tender an apology statement because your truth varies.
Your truth now when this thing just happened is only based on your reaction.
While the truth you have a few weeks later from now would have changed because you would have settled in.
You would have used the wisdom of God to process what happened.
Plus, you will have more information and everything would have been calmed a little bit.
You are busy apologizing to the world, when that’s not the least of your issues because he said it, he is strong bone.
Below is a question for us to address with this lesson…
“I have a problem.
My wife wants to separate.
She said she doesn’t love me anymore but she also said,
I love you because you are the father of my kids and also because of the struggles we’ve been through.
We have been together for 11 years and I still love her.
What can I do? I’m just so confused.
We haven’t even talked about a divorce.
She has never brought it up and of course I don’t want a divorce.
This is just so confusing.
We still live together with our kids in the same house.
We still have sex and sometimes we kind of flirt.
But she doesn’t want to kiss me like she is afraid as if something.
It’s just so weird.
She said she doesn’t love me but she still has an affection for me so it’s very confusing.
It’s like do you love me or not.
And also, she has a big pride; she wants to be right all the time and never says she is wrong even when she is.”
Enjoy the video.
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What is a sexless marriage?
A sexless marriage is a marriage where sexual intimacy has dried up for 3 months or longer.
What percentage of sexless marriages end in divorce?
About 20% of marriages are sexless and about 50% of them end up in divorce. Lack of sex is definitely a contributing factor to divorce rate.
Can a sexless marriage survive?
Lack of sex in a marriage (outside of medical and disability reasons) is a symptom. The marriage can survive if the underlying issue is uncovered with root cause analysis and fixed.
How long do sexless marriages last?
Sexless marriages can last as long as the couple wants it to last with respect actions. If you are willing to stay even if you don’t like it, it can last a lifetime.
How do you fix a sexless marriage?
Uncover the underlying issue with root cause analysis through the help of a coach and adjust accordingly. Lack of sex is a symptom of other emotional issues with the exception of disabilities and medical reasons.
What does it mean when a woman says she loves you but is not in love with you?
It means she is not feeling safe with you RIGHT NOW to be sure of loving you right now.
It’s a feeling that won’t necessarily transcend time especially if you know what you are doing.
Can a relationship last without sex?
Yes it can but very rarely especially if we are talking about marriage.
There are many people that stay in a marriage due to a lifetime of history, children and cultural reason.
But it’s not healthy unless there is lack of sex due to disability or medical reasons.
What do you do when a girl says she doesn’t love you anymore?
You have to give the girl the gift of missing you.
If a girl doesn’t love you anymore, it’s because she doesn’t respect you any more.
That’s the direct symptom of lack of self-respect; no one will give you what you can’t give yourself.
So ask yourself, “have I shown up to the relationship in ways that shows that I don’t respect myself?”
For example, engaging in heated arguments with a girl is a sign of lack of self respect; she will lose respect for you in a matter of time.
It’s also a sign that you don’t pay attention to a woman much less knowing her.
How do you tell if your GF doesn’t love you anymore?
The first sign that she (girlfriend or wife) doesn’t love you anymore is the sign that you observed to lack confidence in the relationship to the extent of asking this question.
Just keep in mind that it’s a feeling for her at this point and i won’t last if you know what you are doing in terms of attracting her back.
On the flip side, she may leave you so you should do something about bringing attraction back.