Sadly, they are now divorced because she doesn’t respect him.
Really? Was it that simple? She was just a disrespectful wife.
Is that the whole story?
You and I know that’s not the whole story.
A wise man once said there are 3 sides to every story.
1. Your side
2. My side … and
3. The truth.
At first, she seems like the evil woman who came all the way from Ekiti, Nigeria to destroy his life based on his story.
Honestly, we are still not calling that a lie.
But after listening long enough, and that… in combination with the experience we have handling these types of cases, it was obvious that there were at least another 9,999 sides to this story.
But we had to listen long enough to hear it between the lines and the nuances.
Just a little over 8 years ago, after turning 42 years old, Maxwell decided that he had to be a little more proactive with settling down and building a family.
As you can imagine, he had dealt with a fleet of other ladies in London, who he deemed belonged in the streets and weren’t wife or marriage material.
You are probably wondering how he figured that out to be so? Well, they all dumped him because of what he described in very similar patterns.
It usually started as arguments that had nothing to do with their relationship… at least that’s what he thought.
For example, in the case of the last lady he dated, they argued about why he thinks women should not be seen hanging out with other single women at a lounge on a Wednesday evening.
I am sure you consider that to be a reasonable assertion right?
But then maybe not…
Anyway, the argument was just a simple debate according to Maxwell that happened 2 days after the lady… his ex-girlfriend had received a call from a colleague to hang out after hours.
As far as he was concerned, it wasn’t a big deal since it wasn’t about their relationship together.
A few weeks later, he noticed he wasn’t happy with what he calls the constantly combative attitude of the girl.
Las las… she asked for space and he can’t find himself begging and negotiating desire.
We agree completely that desire cannot be negotiated.
But then, all 5 or 6 intimate relationships he created before going to find a wife from the village were laced with these similar patterns of honest conversations leading to these women asking for space.
… dumping him.
They just want to act irresponsibly like single women who have no one to be accountable to. Those were his words.
So he figured that women who were raised the way he was raised more than 30 years ago were raised just like him; traditional.
One conversation with an Uncle led to a few weeks of conversation with a young 22 years old lady in Ikere Ekiti.
18 months later, she is now living in London with him and 4 months pregnant.
So everything should be fine right?
Compatible… Traditional… groomed to be a wife…. pregnant immediately… he was now 44 years old and finally settling down with his own family.
Yea that was the plan.
According to Maxwell, she wasn’t for the streets… but she was too opinionated. And to add insult to injury, she doesn’t know when to just shut the hell up.
After searching on Google, he finally realized that women are just evil if they can’t provide sex, a sandwich and shut the hell up.
I mean… think about it… That sounds simple right?
We had heard enough so we decided to push back and ask him some thought provoking questions.
It wasn’t long until Maxwell insinuated that we were taking sides. I can’t lie. That was actually predictable.
At around the 7th year mark of their marriage, she served Maxwell with divorce papers.
Of course, if you’ve been paying attention to his patterns, he wouldn’t beg or negotiate desires.
That which we agree with… but there is a disconnect in all of these.
If you notice, we haven’t really disagreed with many of Maxwell’s methods. But we can all agree that he has not created any of his desired results.
Question of the day.
Is he just not that lucky?
What are your thoughts? How do you think he could have kept his home together?
Please share in the comment area.
Right now, we want to share 7 patterns in those stories that lead to Maxwell’s terrible love story so that you can avoid it without dependence on luck.
7. Pride Conflicting with Negotiating Desire vs Seduction
6. Obsession with Tradition
5. Never His Fault… Always her fault
4. Age Difference… Age especially with experience and generational disconnect matters.
3. He Argues with the Wife
2. Low Emotional Intelligence
1. It’s a Contest; always a competition against each other.
Let us know in the comment area if you want us to expound more on these 7 reasons.
All 7 of these will make a woman disrespect you.
I know there is a woman that will attempt to unintentionally set men up by reminding us that a woman is supposed to be respectful regardless.
Sure. But that’s not the reality.
You can avoid reality all you want, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.
At the end of the day, we are talking about a romantic relationship where both parties let their guard down from the ideology of full blown intentional adults.
So there is a way you move as a man and your wife will typically have no choice but to respect or disrespect you; both intentionally and unintentionally.
Does that sound unfair? So be it. Welcome to the real world.
If you are still complaining about that reality, it’s little to no wonder why you are attracting the result you are creating.
Maybe… just maybe… you may want to adjust.