5 Tips to Stop Divorce after Separation📍⁉️ ❤️

I received this question about a man who wants to make his wife stop divorce after they are already separated.

“She said [I don't want to continue]. 

We were under pressure due to being in the middle of moving to Canada but we were in our schedule and plan.

 We had good sex, happy weekend, and I love her and she always said [I love you].

After separation, we went to counseling and he said [the issues that your wife mentioned can be solved and these are no huge problems.]

A few family members that I spoke with had the same idea that these problems are not the kind of problems that make a marriage.

I did whatever she wanted during the 10 months.

We have two daughters and I cannot imagine how our marriage is falling apart.

She has not filed for divorce yet but she said she will. 

I don't know; How should I stop her.”

Here are 5 tips to give this gentleman the best chance of stopping the divorce and calling off the separation based on his email. 

how to stop divorce after separation

1 - Confidence

You can't stop someone from filing a divorce but you can use reverse psychology to attract her back with confidence.

2 - Self Love

Also, by first loving yourself 

If you think you can physically stop her or bribe her to stop the divorce, it won’t work and if it did, it will work against you.

Because the same reason why she wants to leave you is probably still there.

3 - Listen without Judgement.

It’s a sign that you have not been listening when you narrate a story that seems like a sudden jump from a happy marriage to an unhappy marriage.

You and I cannot solve a problem that we have not identified.

4 - Identify & Acknowledge the Expressed Problem

If she said she didn’t want to continue 10 months ago, that’s the evidence that there was problem even if you are not necessarily the cause of the problem

A lot of men especially are oblivious.

This gentleman thought everything was good and on schedule, because they were having good sex and expressed liver verbally to each other.

But maybe you have a wife that basically wants to protect your feelings and won't really speak her mind like most women.

It’s not an uncommon problem to not have paid attention to these common issues in a marriage; there were issues and you just didn’t know.

She may love you but she probably hasn’t been in love with you for a while.

ON THE PREVIOUS POST: 5 Signs Your wife is NOT Attracted to You ❤️https://lolaandola.com/signs-my-wife-is-not-attracted-to-me/

5 - Never Involve Extended Family Members

This is one of the problems.

Washing your dirty laundry in public will magnify the symptoms of the underlying issue in your marriage.

Speaking to extended family members about your significant other is definitely an abomination that you will pay for with shame.

That will make your situation worse than it already is.

While you may have just been in the heat of a moment when reporting to your extended family member, they will get the chance to get out of the funk of that moment.

When you’ve resolved your issues with your spouse, they are stuck in it and will continue to directly or most commonly indirectly instigate more problems for your marriage.

They have a natural bias and it can be for or again either spouse; even the fact that they feel the need to suppress biases becomes a bias.

All of these make your issues get bigger and bigger. 

You want to make sure that your extended family always experiences your highlights and happiness only; it doesn't mean you have to pretend.

Just make it a point and your responsibility to discourage washing dirty laundry in public as your extended family has now become public.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

You will end up destroying your marriage if you do not heed to this advice; I’ve been there done that…

They will single-handedly (with your help) destroy your marriage for you; not their fault, you invited them and gave them the pass.

TRENDING POST: “CAN ONE SPOUSE STOP DIVORCE ⁉️” ❤️

Conclusion

There is no such thing as “small and petty” issues in a marriage; in fact, the smaller the issue is, the more it can slowly surely kill a marriage.

They are all real issues because these are emotional matters that can destroy a marriage 10 years before it manifests in real life.

That’s why your spouse can still love, make love and participate until the seemingly sudden shut off from the marriage.

You must learn effective communication which is dominated by effective listening in your marriage; it’s listening to emotions.

If all you are doing is listening to the words, you will end up feeling like you’ve done all that your spouse asked for and still feel inadequate.

You will manipulate more than actually attracting your spouse to love you unconditionally and finding delight in making you happy.

Listening indefinitely 

  • Without an agenda
  • Without a need to reply or respond
  • Without retaliation and attacks
  • Without being defensive

Listening in patience works 100% of the time in your favor and most likely in the favor of your marriage because your spouse will feel heard. 

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: Get My Marriage Back (PHYSICAL BOOK)

Bonus - Pattern Interruption

Whatever you have been doing is not working so it’s time to back off a little and let your spouse come back to you. 

Most likely, you are coming off as predictable which means your spouse knows everything about you and how you feel about the issues.

The attraction is low (about 6 or 7 on a scale of 1 to 10) right now.

Spend the next 30 days reading this book “Get My Marriage Back” which you can download for free as a PDF…. learn how.

When your spouse wonders about you, it’s the equivalence of a rising level of attraction between the two of you.

Your spouse doesn’t have control of that; nature does.

Divorce being filed or not is irrelevant; the worst case scenario is that she may have to marry you again… focus on building yourself and allow God to work on her.

Inevitably, you will attract the love you deserve and not necessarily desire unless you do the work.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I save my marriage and stop divorce?

There are 5 tips I can give you but the first is to make sure that you are giving self-love a prioritized attention; you can’t give what you can’t give yourself.

At what point can you stop a divorce?

At what point can you stop a divorce?
In order to stop divorce, you have to wait till the stage when the other party can receive the idea or better yet when it’s their idea.

How can I legally stop divorce?

It depends on your jurisdiction; consult with a local divorce attorney to help you navigate the legalities or divorce proceeding.

How can I stop divorce?

The best way to stop divorce is to reverse engineer attraction back into your relationship and marriage until stopping divorce comes as an idea from your spouse.

How do you rekindle a marriage during separation?

There are 5 tips I can give you to rekindle your marriage but first, make sure that you are giving self-love a prioritized attention; you can’t give what you can’t give yourself.

Does separation prevent divorce?

Separation can prevent divorce but it doesn’t always prevent divorce especially when you are just winging things and not engaging in learning how attraction works in a marriage.

How do you become patient during separation?

Take the separation time to focus on self-love, self-confidence, self-development, self-improvement and be content with the possibility that your spouse may never come back; patience is defaulted into that process because it takes time.

How do I deal with a separation I don't want?

The best way is to focus on self-love, self-confidence, self-development, self-improvement and self-worth until you stop wanting a marriage that the other party doesn’t want.

What to Say to a WIFE WHO WANTS A DIVORCE ❤️ Get My Marriage Back 4

QUESTION - “What can I say to my wife to stop a divorce?”

In addition to what to say to her to stop the divorce, you also need to learn how to say what to say.

Believe it or not, there is not much to say other than “I UNDERSTAND”. You can’t afford to start begging or apologizing once a woman get to this stage.

It doesn’t have to be her idea to stop the divorce but it needs to feel like it's her idea to her. If she feels smothered into stopping the divorce, that will become a confirmation that continuing the divorce is the right decision.

When a woman asks for divorce, she has lost respect for you and no longer values the marriage. Any manipulative move will further decline the value of the marriage from her perspective.

Watch the video for more insights on how to talk and relate with a wife who has asked for divorce.

Does Marriage Counselling Work

7 ULTIMATE Guide to SAVE & FIX a Broken Marriage

In this guide, you will discover how to save your marriage, how to fix a broken marriage and how to keep divorce far away forever.

1st Key (How to Save my Marriage) is God .... Not what you think...

I promised that if you stick to the end of this guide, it’s gonna make sense.

This is not some gimmicky thing that you see in most religions setting where we say it's just “God.”

But trust that when we say number 1 is God, there is a practical reason behind it.

When you're going through hard and tough times,

  • Losing yourself
  • Losing your spouse,
how to save my marriage

Who do you fall back on?

  • It's not gonna be family.
  • It's not gonna be friends.

Nobody's gonna be there for you, even though they're gonna try and be there for you.

They are going to think that they are there for you in their own way.

But they will be selfish.

It’s only God has that will become your source of unconditional love.

The alternative is to start telling the world that love is not enough.

So that was the only thing we could depend on for the much needed unconditional love.

This is why God comes first.

When your spouse checks out of you, you will feel like you have a broken marriage.

Click Here | How to my your marriage when one wants out...

If you are asking "how to save my marriage?" ...your marriage is clearly not 100% of what you thought God ordained it to be.

The only thing that can fix it is unconditional love, a higher version of yourself or God.

Real love.

Not the “in-love” experience.

That’s different from real love.

You had the “in-love” experience with your spouse when you just met.

But you didn’t even know yourselves; the butterflies and all those things….

Both of you didn’t know yourselves.

So naturally, you had the “in-love” experience.

But you got to a point and got tested.

The only thing that can withstand that test is unconditional love.

The only source of unconditional love is God.

In fact, God is love.

So making God, the higher version of yourself than the physical, the center core, the spinal cord and foundation of your marriage is key.

When things go really bad, it's the number one place you want to run to.

Essentially, you need to make sure that your spiritually health is very strong.

You got tested and you are being tested and more tests will come.

You're probably going to a very horrible situation already.

If you have a strong spiritual connection, you'll be able to attach the right meanings to whatever you're going through.

We all go through stuff in life, don't we?

What separates the losers from the winners are the meanings they attach to the things they go through.

That's what's gonna determine how you're gonna come out on the other side because there's another side.

Either you do it right or wrong, there is another side.

But what the other side looks like is gonna be dependent on your spiritual connection with your God so you can create what we call unconditional love.

Your spouse checked out on you.

That's why you're going to what you're going through.

Maybe you're the one that say you don't want any parts of the marriage any more.

They still checked out on you.

That's why you say you don't want any more, right?

But even if it's the other way around, it is the same thing.

Basically, it's a 50-50 contribution to come to that place where you are.

The only thing that can help you at this point in time is to give them what they want.

If you feel like your spouse is hurting you, how could you possibly love someone that’s hurting you?

You're not in love, naturally. But you can have unconditional love for them.

You can take the time to see what may seem like wickedness as a weakness, right?

You can let God do all the work because…

A lot of time, you're probably in the way of God trying to help you fix that.

Have you read the book "Get My Marriage Back"?

The 2nd of the 7 keys guide to save my marriage... can be found at this post....

Frequently asked Question on How to Save a Failing Marriage...

How can I save my marriage by myself?

In reality, all you need to save your marriage is yourself. It can’t hurt if you have the support of your spouse but you may be in the best position if your spouse has shut down. Read Get My Marriage Back 10-15 times.

How do you know if your marriage is worth saving?

It’s as simple as if you want to save the marriage. You deserve whatever you want because it means you are that much willing to put in the work that will save the marriage in yourself.

How do you save my marriage when she doesn't want to?

You make her. I am just kidding. All you need to have the best chance to save your marriage is yourself. It can’t hurt if you have the support of your wife but you may actually be in the best position if your spouse has shut down. Read Get My Marriage Back 10-15 times.

Does separation work to save a marriage?

It depends on the situation. Separation is a double edge sword for saving your marriage. Distance can make the heart fonder but it depends on if the hearts have a strong enough bond or not.

What are signs your marriage is over?

When you ask this question, it’s a classic sign that your marriage is probably over but it doesn’t mean you can’t build a newer and better marriage with the same person.

What are the signs of a failing marriage?

Asking this question is a classic sign that your marriage may be over but it doesn’t mean you can’t build a newer and better marriage with the same person. There are other signs of disconnection however.

Get My Marriage Back by Lola & OLAAre you STRUGGLING in your... MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP?

Are you having a difficult time getting your spouse or the person you love on the same page? Is your dream to build a happily ever after life heading down the drains?

I know... The harsh reality is that your marriage is over... IT'S BROKEN... "Can it be saved?"

...And maybe you still even live in the house with your spouse, barely any sex or intimacy and probably in denial. I get it.

You wonder... "Is that the inevitable supposed and purposed end for marriages?" You know you didn't bargain for such a painful experience.

In this FREE Book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK", you will discover the UNCOMMON secrets of...

HOW TO SAVE & FIX YOUR BROKEN MARRIAGE ALL BY YOURSELF EVEN WHEN THERE IS INFIDELITY OR YOU FEEL IT IS COMPLETELY OVER.



There’s nothing worse than being in a marriage you thought was ordained by God and feeling like you are in eternal bondage and it seems there will never be an end.

It feels very dark in your matrimonial home and you can’t even share your ordeal with anyone. You try so many moves to save your marriage but your spouse just doesn’t care anymore;

...you feel as though he/she is no more the person you married.

Finally, you thought may be you should communicate more but the very act of communication digs deeper and deeper holes of arguments, fights, emotional aches and more.

Exhausted, you share your experience with your family and now the whole family is in feud; your parents, siblings, on both sides of the family etc. They have all caught feelings.

You wonder if your kids will have a home with both parents 6 months from now... it feels like no one cares or ever cared. If you feel a connection to this reality at any level, I feel your pain. Lola and I know what that feels like.

Inside this book, you will discover our full story from being madly in love to a completely destroyed marriage; DIVORCE and back together stronger.

Whatever "destroyed marriage" means in your imagination, we've been through it and it was basically impossible to fix our marriage.

We didn't fix it.

Get My Marriage BackWe created a brand new, better and stronger marriage empire on 3 pillars that you will discover in...

"GET MY MARRIAGE BACK."

May be your situation is not bad at all, every marriage will go through crisis as a test to take you to greatness.

This book will prepare you for it when it comes.

If you feel like your home is heading in a very bad direction, you can't stop arguing, you can't speak your mind etc... you need all 3 sections of this book.

  1. Emergency
  2. New Foundation
  3. Real Love Techniques

Get My Marriage Back PDF

It's time for you to build that real love experience (that you bargained for when you got married to your spouse)

...from a very intentional and deliberate stand point. Marriage is not a partnership and it's takes more than common sense.

I'm sure you are a smart person because you found your way here. But clearly, your smartness and common sense hasn't worked out well in your marriage.

The secrets Lola and I share with you in this book work both in the ancient and even better in the civilized age.

It doesn't matter if divorce has been filed and completed even years ago.

There is still hope for a happy and exotic love affair with the person you love again when you learn these secret techniques.

i checked out... Affairs, infidelity, 3rd party and extended family influences, vendetta, bitterness, resentments.... Eventually she said it all...

"I need space."

"I need time."

"I need to find myself."

"I don't love you anymore."

As you can imagine or probably experienced already, that's not a fun thing to here from your spouse or a person you love.

Because of the unusual bond and friendship we've always had, it was even more confusing for the both us to be in that space.

In her words....

"I was lost and cried on the wrong shoulders."

Once I was ready to put my home together, I engaged in 3 simple secret techniques that attracted her back on a journey in joint forces with me.

HOW?

Like I said, it was impossible for Lola and I to get back together... our marriage hit rock bottom. It was too late. The damage was irreversible and all that.

In the book, you will learn why that's the best thing that actually happened to us in the 9th year of our marriage.

By the 10th year of marriage, she filed for the divorce.

Just the 2 of us have taken the full the responsibility for how we got into that space. Other people were involved and it made things even worse but we intentionally and unintentionally invited them in...

Lola and I are 100% responsible for the invitation.

Guess who's responsible for our brand new and stronger marriage. Besides God, we both take full credit for that as well.

YES... It took 2 to tango using the techniques in this book. But I, Ola, started the dance first and it worked. You only need "YOU" to put this secret techniques to work immediately either as the husband or wife who wants to fight for the marriage.

It's a quick read but you will enjoy it because we opened up and shared tons of our stories with you. You will be able to relate to one or all of these stories .

Lola & OLAWe know the EXACT feeling of the pain, hurt and heart ache that you are going through.

We are the ultimate on-going success story.

I know you want your marriage back... But what use is a toxic marriage if you are not happy.

The real BIG DEAL about these secret techniques is that they lead with ensuring your happiness which is EXACTLY how you will attract your spouse back.

  • If the marriage is over, the 1st section of the book is basically the emergency room; you will discover how to stop the bleeding and create stability all by yourself INSTANTLY.
  • If you are arguing always, going to bed angry with resentments, you will discover EXACTLY why and how to eliminate that type of vibe forever.
  • If you are in love right now in a brand new marriage, you will discover the subtle and "seemingly non-harmful behaviors" that can destroy what you have; no one taught you these things.

Get My Marriage Back by LOLA & OLA... and much more to discover in this full 12 chapters.

No one who know us enough will ever believe that we ever attempted divorce; but it happened.

But we got our marriage back and you too can do the same... BRAND NEW.

Remember when both of you were in love...

You can get back to an even a better place because of the massive wisdom you will discover in this book combined with the pain you have now.

You can download the digital PDF copy absolutely FOR FREE right here. But I can't promise you that this offer will stay that way for life.
Get My Marriage Back PDF