💔 5 Steps to Reverse “I Don’t Love You Anymore”

“I don’t love you anymore.” The point of no return right?

Chris did not see this one coming…

But with the amount of cases and marriage issues that we review from time to time, these issues do not just fall out of the skies.

So I asked Chris,

“Are you telling me that your wife has never complained before telling you she doesn’t love you anymore?”

Then he goes…

“I mean… she’s complained about a few minor things that were no big deals. Why are women inconsiderate with reality though?”

I asked him if he asked the question exactly like that to his wife. 

He went on and on about how she nagged constantly about quality time.

“So what do you want Chris?” I asked,

He said, “I need her to stop nagging because frankly, I’ve got bills to worry about.”

So I asked… “You don’t care about seducing her into falling in love with you again?”

“Seduction? What are we? Teenagers?”

And then I answered with another question…

“Do you want an answer to that or do you want to reverse this terrible experience with your marriage?”

Like many people in modern marriages, Chris is confused and we want to share the 5 steps we shared with him to reverse 

“I don’t love you anymore.”

My name is LOLA and I am the co-author of the book

GET MY MARRIAGE BACK 

…with my husband OLA

…which you can download for free at:

www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

You will also see an opportunity to book a coaching session with us.

This is OLA

Step 1 – Accept It

PREVIOUS POST: 💔 5 Steps To Dealing With a Disrespectful Wife

The usual confusion here is when people feel like accepting reality equals agreement to being wrong or to the experience they are trying to avoid.

If you feel this way, you are essentially focused on the wrong thing.

You would be actively defending yourself but not your relationship.

The reason why you should accept reality is because it is reality; it simply is.

It will also conclude this phase of the present funk a lot quicker than being stubborn about nothing.

I know like most people, you probably have a corrupted version of reality.

Can you at least accept the reality of the fact that your partner just expressed that they are no longer in love with you?

When your spouse comes to you and tells you he or she is no longer in love with you, the easiest route to take for most humans is to get defensive.

So it’s key in this key moment to rise above the norm and by doing so, your spouse will wonder and that’s the equivalent to building attraction back.

That is a scientific fact.

Accept it because frankly, you cannot claim that your spouse had not been complaining if your case is like the typical cases that we review daily.

Simply respond with…

“I understand. Let me know if and when you are ready to talk and work on it.”

This is easier said than done but it works like magic.

Step 2 – Listen

Most people have talked their spouse to death of attraction all in the name of communication.

The purpose of listening is not just to hear your spouse out.  It’s a lot more spiritual and deeper than hearing.

In fact, the purpose is to make him or especially her feel heard and safe again.

So for step 2, I want you to listen with an intention to seduce and make him or her feel heard.

I want you to mimic what your spouse is saying back to him or her like this.

“So I am hearing you say, you feel I haven’t been as considerate as I used to be?

Tell me more… Really… wow”

You are effectively investing interest into your partner that they will inevitably return back to you in folds in time.

If your spouse is especially used to you often feeling attacked and defensive, this will create a new and exciting dynamic to make them wonder what is happening.

That’s equivalent to seduction and building attraction back up.

Effective seduction and communication is 80% active listening, 10% ensuring understanding with your words and 10% sharing how you feel.

If your spouse doesn’t feel heard, they are simply not capable of truly hearing how you feel anyway.

I know what you are thinking.

“So my feelings don’t matter?”

Step 3 – Identify Why

TRENDING: 15 Warning Signs Your Wife Doesn’t Love You & How to Attract Her Back ❤️

The worst thing you want to do is get stuck in your feelings and apply too much energy into reacting to your feeling (the symptom) and abandoning the underlying disease right?

We also know that you are in love or obsession because rejection breeds obsession.  This is a scientific fact again.

When a person says to you that they are no longer in love with you, it’s easy to interpret that as the absence of love because it feels like a smack to the face.

This experience can also give you an illusion that you are in love. 

The in-Love experience is more of a “feeling” of affection… even if your spouse is telling you straight up that they hate you.

That is still an expression of passion and evidence of caring… at least about something that involves the both of you.  

What you don’t want is for your spouse to be indifferent.

That will be the true point of no return.

So it is actually natural that a person that may have been with you over a period of time will occasionally fall in and out of love.

How much more if he or she has been complaining of bad experience at any level over a period of time?

If your spouse is a human being like the rest of us, falling out of love is actually very natural especially if they’ve not been feeling heard or significant in your relationship.

It may even have nothing to do with you.

Falling out of love is just how he or she feels “at this moment”. 

Avoid making it a bigger deal than it is.

Instead, assess the data you collected during your listening exercise and focus on identifying the “why” and the role you played in deteriorating the attraction level in your marriage.

Remember, it’s not a matter of FAULT… This is seduction.

I have to share the 2 most important steps with you. 

But note that in the next lesson, I will share more about seduction, effective listening, collecting data and turning them to useful information (a.k.a THE WHY).

So be sure to subscribe and beat up the like button to tell the algorithm that we are giving goodies away over here. 

Thank you so much in advance.

So what else?

Step 4 – Adjust

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

You go to a relationship to give; not give and take.  I know you are probably hearing that for the first time but trust me.

Adjusting doesn’t mean that you are succumbing to a lesser role.  It actually means you are “leading” and seducing your spouse back in love with you.

The idea is not to become another person. 

It’s more so about engaging the existing power that you already have in that relationship in a way that benefits the relationship.

What needs to be adjusted is how you show up so that you can attract better love experience and expression.

Step 5 – Patience

It took time to get here. It will take time to get him or her to fall back in love with you.

How long?

It depends on a few factors but what you should focus on is becoming a better self that will attract a better in-love and real love experience.

You can’t afford to pour from an empty cup; you will get burnt out and your partner will unintentionally test you a few times before feeling safe and secure again.

Watch the in-love experience creep back into your relationship slowly but surely.

The Main Lesson

The more engaged in your personal purpose and life mission you are, the easier this process will be.

As we’ve said, this process will be tested.

So spiritual strength, personal purpose and self development are necessary ingredients for smooth recovery from “I don’t love you anymore.”

Watch the next video on the screen for more about that.

15 Warning Signs Your Wife Doesn’t Love You & How to Attract Her Back ❤️

Partners can fall in and out of love during the lifetime of their love affair;

It’s just the reality of life.

There is a big difference between loving a person and being in love with the same person.

Loving a person is a choice born out of a commitment

…while being in-love is a feeling that’s born out of feeling safe and secure enough to be vulnerable.

In essence, your wife can love you and still fall in and out of love with you momentarily throughout the course of your love affair or marriage.

However, the 2 phenomenons, loving and in-love, are often used interchangeably and almost synonymously; there is overlap.

The context of this lesson and the 15 signs that your wife doesn’t love you are more within the context of the in-love experience.

1, She is Distracted Easily Especially with the Phone

Remember those moments when you used to have long conversations for no reasons.

Now, all you’ve got is half or less of that attention because she’s distracted by all the environmental factors around.

She is distracted enough for you to notice

…and the number one factor is basically her phone or smart devices competing with you for attention.

Find out how you have been rewarding the behavior and all you have to do is stop rewarding it.

It could be something as simple as sitting there waiting for her until she notices while you whine and bitch about it.

Remove yourself and find something fun and faithful to do for yourself until she notices it. It’s a form of giving to her. You are giving space for her to miss you.

2, She is UnExcited to See/Hang Out With You

In the beginning, she couldn’t wait to ride out in the city with you but somethings have changed;

That’s boring now.

That doesn’t mean she has fallen out of love with you yet; it means she’s lost interest in that activity.

But I lied.

Falling out of love is a process just as much as falling in love is after you’ve lost the initial passion.

Losing the initial passion is in fact inevitable simply because we are humans and we value the feeling of newness and its accompanying excitement.

As I have just said, it’s really the feeling and not necessarily newness all in itself.

When you understand that, it makes it significantly easy to attract your wife to fall back in love with you.

If your wife no longer appreciates being around you, you are probably rewarding that behavior with making her feel that the opportunity to hangout is readily available.

Your time together is predictable and boring; switch things up in a positive way to create attraction.

3, She Claims That She’s Lost Herself

PREVIOUS POST: 35 “Sneaky Little” Signs Your Wife is Cheating ❤️

When a woman gets into this space, being in love with you is the last thing on her mind.

In fact, there is a good chance she is associating the idea of loving you with a part of herself she has just discovered and doesn’t like.

4, She Doesn’t Care About Your Feelings

There is a lot more to this particular sign being a sign.

Honestly, I would want to know why you’ve got so much time to detect this sign.

But that’s probably a topic for another day.

If she’s coming off as your feelings don’t matter, she is not in love with you at this moment.

You can mitigate against this by leaning in towards her and attempting to listen to her feelings as your personal control mechanism for your relationship with and love for her.

… more like an influence mechanism.

If you do that long enough, she will center back to the girl who used to care about your feelings

…but it requires generosity of patience on your part as a seed.

5, No More Expressions of any Type from Her

One of the last behaviors you ever want from your wife is for her to stop expressing herself.

The level at which a woman expresses herself varies greatly depending on her personality, temperament and other factors.

If she ever gets into a space where she doesn’t feel safe to express her feelings at all, that’s almost equivalent to falling completely out of love with you.

Feeling safe and secure with you is almost equivalent to a woman being in love with you.. She has to be able to express herself freely.

6, She Seems UnHappy Quite Often

You know your wife more than I do.

She may not be able to come out and tell you straight to your face that she’s unhappy.

Neither should you wait for her to do so because it might be too late.

If she is not as excited about life and your relationship anymore, she is very likely falling out of love just as much.

But that’s not necessarily your fault.

In fact, that’s not your job and you have probably been rewarding her for coming off as unhappy.

All you have to do is date her and create another… just another opportunity for sex to happen (again.)

7, She Rolls Her Eyes When it’s Time to Talk

TRENDING: 5 Stages that Leads to a Sexless Marriage 💔

That’s a classic sign, not just of falling out of love with you, but also that she has lost hope that she can ever revive love for you again.

Once a woman rolls eye at every glance of a conversation about your relationship, it means you have a massive up-hill battle in order to attract her back into loving you again.

You still need to communicate but this time around, you need to learn and practice effective communication.

It will involve lots of patience because she is obviously shut down.

8, She Disregards Your Opinion & Advice

When you were dating this lady, your words were the gospel. She trusted every advice you gave her.

In fact, she thought there would never be a guy as smart as you were.

But recently, some events have made her, not only say she doesn’t care for your opinions, but showcase exactly that in her actions.

She dismisses them right in your face without thinking about it at all and it hurts because you can tell that she doesn’t love you anymore.

9, She is Reluctant about Sex & Intimacy

It would be easy to tell you that she is no longer in love with you if she had completely shut down access to sex.

But that’s usually not the case.

The way it works is that your wife is probably engaged in an internal battle between the commitments she made and how she feels.

That means sometimes (not all the time) she would give excuses to avoid sex, intimacy and affection with you.

She may not even realize that she is doing this.

10, She Comes off as a Roommate

Your worst nightmare right?

If she was in love with you, she would be all over you leaking you from head to toe.

But she has been spending a lot of time in alternative rooms of your house instead of with you.

So in actuality, it can be worse than being a roommate. Don’t focus too much energy on this because it’s a symptom.

You need a root cause analysis and the focus on fixing the cause. She is not a roommate; she is only acting like one.

11, Every Expression Feels Like Nagging

You can feel it and you know it

…and recognize the negative vibes in that in the past few weeks whenever she is expressing her emotions to you.

It almost feels like she’s always blaming you for everything but you can’t put your hands on what the issue is.

She has fallen out of love.

12, She’s Highly Sarcastic & Condescending 

“So you won’t take the garbage out tonight again right?”

The tone of that question reveals it as a direct attack against your character; maybe that’s a stretch but…

Compare that to…

“Babe, do you mind getting that garbage out tonight?”

Which of these 2 scenarios showcases a woman who is in love with you?

13, Indifferent and/or Not Jealous

If your woman is still jealous, she is still somewhat in love with you at least. But you don’t want her to be numb to your behaviors.

“I don’t care.”

Yes she does but it’s a cry out for you to see that she does care; you have not been paying attention.

What you really don’t want is her getting into a head space where she doesn’t care and also doesn’t care enough to share that she doesn’t care.

If that happens, she’s lost respect and effectively, love for you… at least now.

14, She Glows More When Around Strangers

Not only does she seem unhappy; she shows you by glowing extra ordinarily when around complete strangers… not necessarily intentionally.

If that happens one time… no big deal but when it happens consistently, she has fallen out of love but there is hope.

15, No Gists After Getting Off the Phone

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

She finishes speaking to a friend on the phone right in front of you, hung up and didn’t say a word about who it was.

Naturally, we share…

“That was Amy; she says hello.”

If she stops sharing, she’s essentially saying you can go to hell.

Conclusion

It is very important to keep in mind that it works against your desires to take these 15 signs too seriously and make them a bigger deal than they actually are.

Whatever is going on is temporary and these are symptoms.

And all you have to do is focus on finding out the underlying causing reasons and adjusting accordingly to attract your wife back.

If you pay the symptoms more attention than necessary, you will more likely push your wife further away and potentially in the arms of another man.

It can’t happen to you?

Well, 70+% of divorces are initiated by women; someone’s wife.

If you want more of this, go to LOLAandOLA.com

And go download the book GET MY MARRIAGE BACK

Absolutely FREE!

If you are interested in a coaching session, just go under the product page at LOLAandOLA.com and I’ll see you at the top.

Frequently Asked Questions [F.A.Q]

How do you know if your wife doesn’t love you anymore?

The 1st way to know that your wife doesn’t love anymore is the fact that you are unsure about where she stands but I have 15 more signs you should know.

What are the signs that your wife doesn’t love you anymore?

The 1st sign of 15 more signs that your wife doesn’t love anymore is your uncertainty about where she stands when it come to your marriage.