Broken Marriage?
Fix it Here FREE

Get My Marriage Back

Posted on

“How Do I Ask My Husband For FORGIVENESS?”📍 John Gray

📌 Author's Note from Lola & Ola:
If you are reading this right now, we know the heartbreak of watching the desire, intimacy, and warmth fade out of your relationship. We survived our own marriage completely dying at the 9-year mark and rebuilt a 20+ year roadmap from it. Before you dive into the details below, grab our complete book Get My Marriage Back for FREE right now so you have an immediate, step-by-step action plan to turn things around.

Question: “How Do I Ask My Husband For FORGIVENESS?”

The same thing goes for this question though it’s a little bit different…

because clearly the person asking this question is admitting that they were wrong.

That’s why they are thinking of forgiveness.

It’s different from an apology.

Apology is like “I guess that’s what I need to do”.

Forgiveness is like “You know I F**ked up. How do I ask for forgiveness?”.

So, how can somebody ask for forgiveness from their husband?

… or is it easy for you to ask for forgiveness?

Well, for our natural self, it is hard to ask for forgiveness but asking for forgiveness will give us peace of mind.

Previous Post: “How Do I APOLOGIZE for HURTING My Wife?”📍 John Gray

First of all, you have to admit that you are wrong.

So maybe the real question is, “Is it easy for you to admit you are wrong?”…

Even that question is bastardized because if you are wrong, you know you are wrong.

If you are asking for forgiveness, you are already saying “I’m wrong.”

So asking for forgiveness when you already know you are wrong should be easy… but clearly it’s not easy because…

It depends on what you did and with the person you are with.

Some people are not forgiving.

You could ask for forgiveness and they would say “Okay I heard you…” but then they are not ready to forgive you just yet.

They are hurt and they can drag you for years for that.

So, how do you ask forgiveness to your husband?

The same thing with apology goes with asking for forgiveness.

Changed Behavior.

It’s changed behavior and let the person relax and let them process what just happened.

Don’t shove it down to their face.

You have to have a lot of patience if you are asking for forgiveness.

Lots of patience and generosity with time because the more time there is, the more they will be open to receiving what you have to say.

Trending Post: How to Reverse a SEXLESS MARRIAGE ❤️ 5 SECRETS That Works

And the good thing with that is, now you have time to back it over with your behavior.

Right?

Especially if your behavior has actually reflected that.

Though we don’t support you asking for forgiveness over and over again.

You have to do it one time.

Maybe once or twice and it’s done.

The rest has to be your changed behavior.

That’s what really matters.

But some people are just asking for forgiveness like “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” every small thing they’d say I’m sorry.

No…

You are making things worse and you are being annoying.

You need to know when you are being annoying.

So you have to give them time to process things.

Some people may have a hard time to forgive because it’s very hard for an average human being to forgive.

Once you hurt a person, it’s a trust issue.

It will be hard for him to open up again because you’ve built a wall in the future.

So for them to open up again you need time.

If you had a good time with this person in the past or anything like that, they will remember.

They will start reflecting if you stay out of their face.

But if you keep pushing to fix everything now… that will work against you.

Asking over and over again… let’s put into logic a little bit, if you do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result, that’s called insanity.

The same thing, like don’t think your apology is all suddenly going to fix things.

Forgiveness will require a lot of follow ups… even cheating, because even the follow ups are not apologizing.

More Video on our YouTube Channel

It’s really following up with your changed behavior.

Using your words is manipulative because you are trying to use the word to fix that person or to get them to forgive you right now.

And if it was that easy we can just pull forgiveness out of everyone.

So it takes time because we are spiritual.

There is a soul that has been tampered with and those kinds of things have to be healed.

It had to be repaired.

Posted on

“How Do I APOLOGIZE for HURTING My Wife?”📍 John Gray

📌 Author's Note from Lola & Ola:
If you are reading this right now, we know the heartbreak of watching the desire, intimacy, and warmth fade out of your relationship. We survived our own marriage completely dying at the 9-year mark and rebuilt a 20+ year roadmap from it. Before you dive into the details below, grab our complete book Get My Marriage Back for FREE right now so you have an immediate, step-by-step action plan to turn things around.

Question: “How do I apologize for hurting my wife?”

John Gray is in the hot seat right now and is probably hoping that this whole thing will die down but he is not helping either because he issued an apology and I think we should play the apology first before we get into anything .

Here is John Gray’s apology:

“I wanna take this moment to tell you I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the areas of my life that I left unattended. That I was apathetic about. The areas where I have treated the calling of God, the grace of God and a hand of God casually in my life. For every area of behavior that has dishonor the holiness of God, I wanna tell you I’m sorry. There have been a number of things and blogs, some of them accurate, some of it not…”

His apology maybe is the right thing to do because he is a pastor in the church.

But talking to his wife, it just feels like it will cause more embarrassment.

For me, I don’t like the loud noise.

That’s bringing so much attention to us so in the moment we should shut it down.

TRENDING: 5 Signs Your wife is NOT Attracted to You ❤️

Let’s be quiet in the moment…

How do I apologize for hurting my wife?

What’s the right way to do that?

I don’t think you need to apologize to your wife in public… that can be done privately.

Apologizing in public is just an immediate reaction trying to save face, especially when the issues are so fresh right?

One thing you don’t want to do is feeding to the media,

… like right now they are talking about you and the next thing you wanna do is “Oh I’m sorry… blah blah blab”

The natural thing to do is want to react so I feel that he should have just left that for the moment and deal with his issues privately.

Church, yes because he is a pastor and I understand that he needs to say something, but I don’t like the public.


Well maybe the wife likes that, or she prefers that, but I don’t know because there are different kinds of women.

Some women can be like “you know what you dragged me out there, then I want you to apologize to me publicly“.

For me personally it doesn’t help.

I always come from the standpoint of “you are right”.

If you think you are right, you are right!… like who am i?, I don’t have the right to tell you you are not right.

That’s applicable to everything in life including relationship, marriage, apologies or whatever.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

If you feel like the right thing for you to do is to apologize, then you are right…

Now is that going to create the result you want, that is the story that we really should be talking about.

See, if you are worried about whether it is the right thing to do or not, you are always right.

Whatever you feel is right is right.

Is that gonna create the result that you’re looking to achieve, that’s where the work is and that’s where a lot of people miss it.

With that being said, the only time it will be right for you to tender an apology to either a wife or husband or anybody is when that person is asking for it.

Why?

Because you listen, that person is asking for it.

So if the person is asking for it and you truly feel that you should apologize, and there is nothing wrong with apologizing but if you are tendering an apology as a form of reaction to being called out.

You just got called out… you did something wrong and you just want to fix it immediately for the misery to go away.

The first thing that goes to your mind is to say I’m sorry.

That I’m sorry is gonna do more hurt.

It can be considered manipulation because you are manipulating.

That apology will hurt more than it will help you create the result you are looking for.

So, How Do I APOLOGIZE for HURTING my wife?

Well, first of all the best apology is Changed Behavior.

That’s gonna take time so there’s time and patience involved.

That means they may not be willing to hear you out right now, the best thing you want to do is stay away from giving them your mouth in every way that you can think of.

You stay away from that.

Let things calm down.

Let things simmer before you give apologies.

That’s why the apology that John Gray gave is premature.

It cannot possibly be authentic because it’s a reaction form of apology…

but how do I apologize for hurting my wife?

Listen…

Changed Behavior.

Take your time.

If she asks for an apology, then you can tender that in the form of words but the best apology is not words.

Your apology in the form of words is a lot more useful when the person is asking for it.

Posted on

Sexless Marriage ❤️ Does my Marriage Still Have a Chance⁉️

📌 Author's Note from Lola & Ola:
If you are reading this right now, we know the heartbreak of watching the desire, intimacy, and warmth fade out of your relationship. We survived our own marriage completely dying at the 9-year mark and rebuilt a 20+ year roadmap from it. Before you dive into the details below, grab our complete book Get My Marriage Back for FREE right now so you have an immediate, step-by-step action plan to turn things around.

A Sexless marriage is a terrible experience for anyone to be going through; feeling unwanted, helpless, undeserving, and just hopeless.

But just like every other aspect of life, what doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger.

But with some knowledge and emotional wisdom as ammunition, you will become unstoppable…

So allow me to share some information to help you.

You can reverse that reality in your marriage especially if it’s emotionally driven.

Sexless Marriage and the Downsides.

If your Sexless Marriage is due to medical issues, seek the help of a medical professional.

Sex is the one thing that makes your marriage different from other types of relationship so you shouldn’t have to be stuck in the lack it.

So if you either feel that:

  1. Your Spouse Rejects sex with you all the time.
  2. Your Spouse Does not initiate sex enough with you OR….
  3. OR You are no longer sexually attracted to your spouse.

Essentially, nothing is broken with the 2 of you physically but the vibe is just never right for one or both of you;

It’s mental and I got you and you are not alone… but you need to act.

What percentage of sexless marriages end in divorce?

Studies show that 20% of marriage are sexless and you probably already know that 50% of all marriage unions end in divorce.

If I were you, I would be more scared of staying in an unhappy marriage than divorce itself; but anyway, you are not alone.

How long do sexless marriages last?

A sexless marriages can last forever.

That’s especially true when there are kids involved but more importantly,

You should consider your marriage sexless if you have not had sex in 3 months or more.

“Lack of sex” should be addressed at the 2 weeks mark if there are no visible, clear or medical reason.

Can a sexless marriage survive?

A sexless marriage can definitely survive but that doesn’t mean it’s the best way to live a quality life.

The real question is if you can reverse a sexless marriage and the answer is yes; especially if you have a good history of intimacy.

All you need is at least “one of you” to initiate that dance and with patience, your spouse will respond.

Sure it takes 2 to tango but there is a need for just one leader who wants to take the charge and follow these 4 steps.

  1. Look in the mirror.
  2. Focus on changed behavior (even if you had not offended your spouse, switching a few predictable behaviors up will make them wonder and increase attraction.)
  3. Look out for rekindling signs.
  4. Respond when you see signs.

Become a student of seduction; Seduction is not just sexual.

If you are the one who is not sexually attracted to your spouse,

That’s a symptom of underlying issues…

That is to say you should focus on fixing that.

So maybe there are behaviors that your spouse puts on that turns you off;

In that case, you can learn how to seduce your spouse to the way you desire him or her to behave.

For example, if she doesn’t clean after herself, your knee jerk reaction is to complain about it.

Instead of being predictable, you can actually seductively request that she cleans.

And when she does clean once in a while, tell her how sexy she looked while cleaning.

Use Reverse Psychology to Reverse Your Sexless Marriage

Here is the point, use seduction to highlight when your spouse does what you like and you will naturally get more of such moments.

If you are not having enough sex, seductively highlight when you do have sex

And refrain away from complaining when there is no sex for extended period of time.

What you focus on expands; negative or positive.

What happens in a marriage without intimacy?

There is a risk of at least one person wanting more intimacy

And that increases the chances of infidelity and just a bad lifestyle that comes with multiple sexual partners.

If you are experiencing this, you should be concerned even if you are the less affectionate partner.

It’s even worse if you have kids because you will teach them these bad behaviors; maybe unintentionally.

Click Here to Take the 2 Minutes Sexless Marriage Quiz

Below is a question for us to address with this lesson…

“My Wife and I are in separation.

But we don’t sleep in the same room anymore.

Tried talking to her but she wants nothing to do with me anymore.

I messed up because I was insecure.

And I tried to talk to her and told her that I have changed.

Still no luck; does my marriage still have a chance.”

Enjoy the video.

Get Free Audio book of “Get My Marriage Back” From Here

Normal Enrollment Fee - $10,000+
FREE TODAY

Success with Modern Romance in 30 Days

FREE Bootcamp Course + FREE Book! THIS is what you are missing... TRUST ME! This is the success formula of those who are not complaining on social media. Click Here to Learn More...

FREE! Get My marriage back and smart relationship guide

Posted on

Marriage Counseling ❤️ 2 CRUCIAL Lessons You Must Take Away from The Session

📌 Author's Note from Lola & Ola:
If you are reading this right now, we know the heartbreak of watching the desire, intimacy, and warmth fade out of your relationship. We survived our own marriage completely dying at the 9-year mark and rebuilt a 20+ year roadmap from it. Before you dive into the details below, grab our complete book Get My Marriage Back for FREE right now so you have an immediate, step-by-step action plan to turn things around.

Many married couples waste 1,000’s of dollars on marriage counseling because they go into it UNPREPARED.

Studies show a 40% divorce rate after marriage counseling.

Clearly, something is wrong with that horrible statistics.

Preparing for marriage counseling

2 things you have to pay attention to when next you agree to go to a marriage counseling are:

  1. Arguments and
  2. Masculine/feminine dynamics of your relationship.

(1) Arguments

There are many counselors and advisers teaching couples how to argue these days.

While I understand that the “high” of arguments makes some men feel closer to their wife in a weird way…

It’s best to avoid arguments all together.

There is a confusion between communication and arguments.

Arguments creates bad vibes that makes a typical woman loses respect for their husband.

An argument is simply the act of invalidating your spouses point of view; it’s an attack.

We all get defensive when we feel attacked.

But the main issue there is the fact that it’s all “feeling” driven.

That is to say we are not always able to put our fingers on what the issues are.

Instead of learning “how to argue” from a counseling session, ask him or her to teach you how to avoid arguments.

This is necessary at  least for the time being… arguments are to be avoided during a marriage crisis.

(2) Masculine/feminine dynamics

The modern marriage is struggling with gender roles and admitting that there is a difference between a man and woman.

The existence of the argument is the proof that you need to know that it absolutely affects the dynamics of happiness in your marriage.

Ask your marriage counselor to help you identify the particular gender, masculine, and feminine dynamics of your marriage.

It’s different from relationships to relationships.

Don’t avoid the conversation

Because what you don’t know or aware of can destroy your marriage.

Below is a question for us to address with this lesson…

“What happens if your partner always has to be right?

After 12 years, he still will never ever concede an argument.

Am I supposed to always back down?

I don’t always want to back down but my husband will never stop until he wins.”

Enjoy the video.

https://youtu.be/3KPOM7Ulkns

“Up to 38 percent of couples who receive marriage therapy get divorced 

…within four years of completion.”

More interesting stats here

What is the success rate of marriage counseling?

Studies show a 40% divorce rate after marriage counseling.

So I guess we can safely say that 60% survived and saved the marriage.

If they were able to build a happy and healthy relationship beyond that is another question entirely.

Many couples live as room mates before and after a marriage counseling.

What happens at marriage counseling?

What should happen and what actually happens in a marriage counseling session are 2 different things.

The counselor’s job is to help by listening to both parties

…and help mediate on the issues.

So the mediation is a form of interpreting emotions and feelings to each other as that is usually the root of most disagreements.

Can marriage counseling really help?

Marriage counseling can definitely help but with doing the work beyond the session.

Good feelings at the end of a counseling session is not enough.

The couple to remain committed to the work.

Lots of “emotional control” is needed to sustain the marriage long after the session has ended.

But of course…

It’s easier said than done.

When should you seek marriage counseling?

The best time to seek marriage counseling is at the beginning of a misunderstanding or dispute…

But not before any of the parties shuts down emotionally.

If one person shuts down, marriage counseling as a solution tends to be too late and a waste of time…

…Just another opportunity to argue.

It is better for the spouse who wants to save the marriage to leverage self development.

And possibly….

A personal coach

I would continue that until a brand new energy and relationship dynamics is created.

In order to get the other party to open up.

Normal Enrollment Fee - $10,000+
FREE TODAY

Success with Modern Romance in 30 Days

FREE Bootcamp Course + FREE Book! THIS is what you are missing... TRUST ME! This is the success formula of those who are not complaining on social media. Click Here to Learn More...

FREE! Get My marriage back and smart relationship guide

Posted on

Does Marriage Counseling Work? ❤️ Help For Marriage

📌 Author's Note from Lola & Ola:
If you are reading this right now, we know the heartbreak of watching the desire, intimacy, and warmth fade out of your relationship. We survived our own marriage completely dying at the 9-year mark and rebuilt a 20+ year roadmap from it. Before you dive into the details below, grab our complete book Get My Marriage Back for FREE right now so you have an immediate, step-by-step action plan to turn things around.

QUESTION ⁉️ “My wife was a military veteran for 15 years and was divorced twice. She then spent 20years unattached.

I met her and we got married after a short courtship. Several of my friends said that she and I weren’t suited. I disagreed but it seemed they were right.

We argue all the time; almost daily. I tried the time-out method. She just follows me and continues chopping in my ears.

We are in counseling but don’t seem to work. I am at my wit end. How do I make this relationship work?”

ENJOY THE VIDEO.

Average Length Of Marriage Counseling

Broken Marriage?
Fix it Here FREE

Get My Marriage Back