Tag: infidelity in marriage

First of all, this is a stupid question.  

According to Punch News, the man was deleted by his wife who set him ablaze after a conflict.

A family member of the victim said that the woman locked her husband up and set the house on fire over suspicion of an extra-marital affair.

That’s the story and particularly that’s all I need to know about the story.  The part where a whole human life was deleted.

Until… of course… internet trolls started running their mouths carelessly.

By the way… 

A quick shout out to my sister Bridget of Obodo Oyinbo TV where I was allowed to be a guest to discuss my personal observations and opinion of whether Red Pill-ed men are husband material or not.

I didn’t go there as an expert.  I went there as an observer of the red pill community with a personal opinion but also as a man who is blessed with results that many men desire.

To say the least, it was interesting.  Just go ahead and search for “Obodo Oyinbo TV” on YouTube and support her.  She is an extremely generous supporter of our platforms.

Back to this infidelity slash cheating slash human deletion story.  Crazy right?

I personally heard a significant number of women saying he deserved to be roasted  because he cheated on his lady. 

Can you imagine a person who talks like this creating any good romantic experience for themselves and others in this life?

Answer me in the comment area below….

Some men said women should prepare for the fact that all men will cheat.  Is that the solution to preventing these types of stories between lovers?

What exactly is the solution here without pretending that we don’t know that these people were once romantic lovers?

Most people having these conversations online continue to talk from their ass because they never acknowledge that these are or were romantic relationships where they never planned to end up in a terrible predicament.

They also never acknowledge how they could personally relate with these stories.  

I will be forced to wonder if you are a coward even if you are right that the internet is not a safe space to speak your mind.

What is it about infidelity and cheating that will make you say stupid things that doesn’t serve you or anyone listening?

To be clear again, that question “When will men learn?” is a stupid question.

Any question designed to ignite the epidemic of the digital gender war with or without good intentions and from men or women is a stupid question.

Gentlemen, endless subtle competition with women will always put you at a disadvantage.

Arguing with women with respect to romantic matters puts you below women; not equal but below.

I understand the over-reactive rhetoric against fake feminism a.k.a toxicity, but just like in a real life relationship, over-reaction are actions you are responsible for.

And like I said, it puts you at a disadvantage.

Gentlemen, you are indirectly subscribing to equality in romance, relationships and marriage when you engage endless arguments with women.  

It doesn’t work particularly because it discounts the complimentary strength in romantic relationships significantly.

How do you compliment each other if you are equal?  That already sounds stupid right?

It is true.  Two things can be true at the same time.  But I am looking at this from a place of mindset abundance and/or scarcity.  It’s just a question to ask yourself.

Here is an example of statements that tells me that you as a man will think of yourself as equal to your woman and effectively become a loser that she will potentially dump.  

And I quote…

“If you are going to judge a man based on his gender, you as a woman should expect the same thing from the men.”

Let me guess.  This is accountability right?  False.  

This is just a man who talks too damn much.  This is a man who has already lost respect hence the cry out in the wrong direction for help.

I get it… Anyone, including women, could find that statement to be reasonable and harmless.  But it is harmful to your mindset.  

It is even more harmful for a man who talks like this from a place of ignorance, lack of experience and good intentions.

Good intentions are overrated.  

You need wisdom and humility because your lens, filters and outlook on life have dangerous limitations especially when it comes to romantic relationships and marriage.

Oh… it’s even worse if you are listening to Pick-Me women influencers encouraging you to hold your ground as a “MASCULINE STOIC” man.  It’s a set up.  That’s weak.

If you don’t believe me, marry one of them and I’m patient to discuss the outcome.

Masculinity with respect to romance and the human experience is rarely physical.  It’s energy.  Invisible energy for the most part.  And again, it’s not the woman’s responsibility to know that.

Let’s get back to the story.

The question “When will MEN learn?” was designed to leverage this terrible human deletion story to shame men who still believe in the family structure by way of the marriage institution into perpetual fear of women.

The shame is mostly coming from both men and women who have had terrible and traumatic experiences in romantic relationships.  

It’s “misery love company” syndrome at best.

I am sorry.  There are stupid questions.  

The outcome of asking such questions only perpetuates toxic rhetoric for those who may not be necessarily toxic but have real questions about love, relationships, marriage, cheating, infidelity etc.

Why is the question not… 

“When will we as humans learn better ways of navigating romantic relationships that we obviously want, evident by our action not by the product of intellectual diarrhea on social media?

This story is not as relevant to poly or monogamy practice as much as we are making it.  Those are practices by choice and not cowardice.  

It’s also not as relevant to infidelity, cheating or any other obvious bad habits or behavior as they are making it.

Humans have bad behavior.  Where is the surprise?  

Also why did what I just said sound like encouraging bad behavior to you? If that’s you, answer me in the comment area… but more importantly, answer the person in the mirror.

As for this story, that woman committed a capital crime.  What leads to it is irrelevant once we start talking about a matter of life and life deletion.

This woman, sadly like many people walking around, was probably a watermelon mentally… green on the outside and red inside.  

People are carrying a lot of toxic mental weight so you can agree that we should be aware that we can potentially offend the wrong people.  

That does not give anyone the right to delete another person’s life.  It just makes sense to be aware.

For you and I, it’s about knowing that anger is temporary insanity and you can create irreversible damages or at least self-sabotage.  

This is about mental health; not for the criminal (it’s too late for her) but for you and I.

As I was saying earlier, I heard men telling women to prepare for the fact that all men will cheat.

As a man, preparing women to enter marriage with the expectation that a man will cheat puts you at a much bigger disadvantage than just the effect of cheating; your bad behavior.  

Can’t you see?

She may be weak enough to enter that marriage in spite of the warning but she will be on the edge in the marriage… 

What enjoyment do you expect in a marriage where your woman is always on the edge, never feels safe and secure around you?

Instead of worrying about the nature or nurture of cheating and infidelity, you are better off putting that energy in preparing to create a safe space especially emotionally for your wife.

Ladies.. Yes we like to feel safe too.

Would You Tolerate A Cheater?

I know that most people that spend a lot of time on conversations for or against cheating and infidelity are not cheaters; at least not chronic perpetual cheaters.

So at best, you are self sabotaging, talking so much about how you will never accept it or how you plan to tell women that you will cheat.  

By the way, when you tell her up front, that’s no longer considered cheating.

Your mouth will create an emotionally unsafe environment for your future marriage to thrive.

What I found interesting but not surprising during the whole discussion was the fact that no one talked about the emotional, psychological and mental state that could have created the story.

There was no shortage of empathy, sympathy, proclamation of what people will NEVER accept even though there is an obvious lack of experience to accurately assess that.

There was useless advice on what type of man and woman to run away from.  The problem is that these things are not written on the forehead.

A Major Reason Why Marriages Are Failing.

Most people entering marriage are not preparing for the inevitable crisis and conflict that will hit every marriage; and single life.

That’s even if you think the solution is to avoid marriage and long term relationships.

If you are going to still have sex, you will end up in the courts and become another traumatic cancer for the society.

By the way, they are conflicts because they often come from blind spots.  

If you say you will never accept a cheater, congrats.  That problem is solved.  The devil, however, knows not to come for you from a cheating standpoint.

Anyway, Instead of the typical nonsense from long-stroking influencers who are just in this to make money, I want to encourage you to prepare to maintain a healthy mental stability for the rest of your life. 

I want you to know that anyone is capable of losing their mind… particularly mentally… and especially people who tend to be obsessed with ideologies, faith, culture, religion with no wisdom around application and relationships.

You cannot control other people.  Stop trying.  You can only control yourself and then subsequently or hopefully influence the results you are looking for in life.

I don’t think a normal person will literally roast another person. I don’t think another human is capable of making another human commit such an act either. 

However we are all influencing ourselves directly and indirectly.  I think she became crazy, lost her mind and committed a capital crime.

For her, everything before the crime doesn’t matter.  She is done in this society.

Learn how to leave a toxic relationship before your tipping point is obvious… leave first… it doesn’t have to be a permanent decision.

If you can’t leave because of fear… that’s obviously a bigger problem; lack of self-respect, self-love, self-esteem, self-confidence.

Stop pouring from an empty cup.