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5 KEYS TO REKINDLING ATTRACTION DURING SEPARATION (How To Make Your Husband Want You All The Time)

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In this video, we are adding some context to an answer we gave to Queen some few weeks back.  Be sure to check out that video.  

It’s called “Unwanted Separation? Use THESE 5 Tips!” It was also a response to an original video called “Ignoring Your Spouse During Separation 💔”

Here is her response to that video.

“Thank you Lola and Ola. I am grateful for you guys. You have opened a new perspective to me. I believe I should work on myself now moving forward. The period of sorrow and grief is coming to an end. 

About the question if I am a selfish person, the answer is no. I have always given people my time, love and affection. I’d rather love others first. 

I don’t know how to only focus on me. It’s not healthy. I’d rather give to those who need me. I never put myself first but look for the good of those around me. 

Hence I helped hubby become who he is today. Now that he’s left I don’t understand what I did wrong to be honest. 

We spoke a few days ago and he wanted to know what I have been up to. I don’t know why he suddenly is interested to know about my whereabouts but he will not disclose what he’s doing or how he feels. Which I find strange that he’s obsessed with knowing what I am about. 

I think I need to be more attractive and work on myself more like you mentioned. I will revive my passions and allow time to heal like they say. 

For now I will focus on what makes me happy and keep me focused. I believe he’s still my husband. I am also going to download your free book now.” ~ Queen

So here we go.  To add some context to Queen’s comment, we have created 5 keys to rekindling attraction from a seduction standpoint during a separation.

Let’s get into it.

Key Number 5

The Art of Obsession

The Art of Obsession

As always, this is easier said than done.  But it’s a simple concept.  What makes it complex is the complex human mind.

When you experience rejection at any level,  it breeds obsession and anxiety.  

But when you are able to garner some self-control and back off just a little bit, you can successfully transfer that obsession and anxiety to the other party.

It also depends on how much damage may have occurred during the break down of the relationship.  

If your separated spouse is not the exception minority with no emotional blood flowing in their vein, this works 100% of the time.

So it’s pretty normal for the obsession to flip to the other side when you take time to back off and allow nature to take its course.

If your partner needs space, things are bad already and you probably need more space than you realize.

Key Number 4

Don’t Fake The Flip

So, I want you to allow the obsession and the anxiety to flip from you to your partner naturally and organically.  There are gurus out there teaching people to fake it.

You can’t afford to fake this stuff because that would be a lie and that would typically mean you have to keep lying to cover up lies.  It’s not worth it because it’s too much energy trying to keep up with it.


It needs to be organic and this awareness right here will make it a little hard.  

But the way to mitigate that is to really take this rare advantage of time apart to build yourself in every way you can think of; physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Leave very little room to sit around and allow your mind to wander around about things you can’t control such as sorrow and grief.

If you can do it, that’s obviously time spent away from obsessing over your estranged partner and that much time for them to start wondering about what you are up to.

That’s literally a form of attraction.

It’s organic and natural and proof that you can potentially rekindle attraction in a healthy way so that you can embrace it when you are ready.

Key Number 3

Don’t Run An Empty Cup

Don't Run An Empty Cup

As “Queen” just acknowledged, you can’t afford to pour love into others from an empty cup; it will only drain your energy.  

Yes we advocate for focusing on “giving” in a healthy relationship and not the falsehood of the “give and take” ideology that a bunch of selfish people are running around with on social media.

But please, do not take us out of context.  You simply cannot give what you don’t already have.  

We get this question all the time… You are telling us to just GIVE but what if we are giving so much that the other person is not reciprocating?”

Good question.  

But there is no better way to tell me that you are not giving anything to yourself.  You are emptying out yourself to your partner.

That’s the only way you can have time to notice that they don’t reciprocate but you are not necessarily wrong; just a thought to consider.

And worse, you are setting them up with false metrics of expectations that are based purely on your disappointed emotions. 

You can’t win together like that. You might win alone and effectively destroy the relationship.  But let’s be guided.

When you can demonstrate the ability to take care of yourself, there is almost nothing sexier than that when it comes to rekindling attraction again.

And of course, they naturally can’t wait to get on your good side.

Key Number 2

Be Indifferent

Once you’ve managed to organically flip that obsession and anxiety over to the other side, do not prematurely engage.

Sure it’s attractive but it needs to be tested with time and persistence which must be demonstrated on all sides.

Don’t play games with this if you haven’t gone through an outright rejection from your spouse.  That will make it fake, manipulative and it can backfire badly.

But in the case of what “Queen” described, she needs to disconnect as much as possible from wondering what she did wrong and why he is suddenly obsessed.

The bottom line is that he is obsessed because that’s attraction at play but more importantly, how she responds to it needs to showcase indifference.

What that means is that how you feel is neither here nor there.  You are okay with whatever the outcome is and you will take your time because you are busy learning how to take care of yourself.

It might drive one or both of you wild.


But the attraction needs to be tested for strength because there is a real reason why a separation became reality in the first place.

It doesn’t matter if you are “the man” or “the woman”.  The same attraction principle is applicable if you are feeling the emotions of rejection.

You can re-engage your seduction power and redirect the course.

Key Number 1

Self Love Is Still key

Self Love Is Still key

What if you lost your partner forever?  Yea.  What if?  If you can’t handle that reality in your mind right now, it’s probably showing as needy behavior on the surface.

That’s not sexy.

It’s like no wonder they are running away from that.

The moment they can see that you are capable of loving yourself adequately, they will always regret a decision of not working on your relationship.

That self-love will attract a better companionship to you with or without your spouse; it’s non-negotiable. 

And again, we are not talking to selfish people.  Self-love as a religious talking point and ideology can also destroy you and everything you care about.

We are speaking from experience.  

We share our own story inside the book “GET MY MARRIAGE BACK” which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you’d like us to cover on the next video.

5 Signs Your Marriage is Over (My Wife Has Been GONE for a Few Months)

We love addressing you directly via the comment area.  

So please continue to leave your thoughts and questions for us to review.  We do these videos for you.

In this video, we are responding to 2 comments with the 5 signs that a marriage is over based on how a man responds to a crisis.

Here is the first comment.

“My wife has been gone for a few months. 10 years together and she’s just pulled the plug on all emotions she had for me. She talks and looks at me differently now. She never sees our one year old son. Wtf has happened. God I miss her 😢” ~ by Slaven Yatic

And here is the 2nd comment.

“Truth is she doesn’t. Folks, separation is not a good thing period. 5% of separation works and they end up back together but 80% of separation ends up in a divorce. If your partner wants a separation it means they have someone else in mind.” ~ Comment by Triple A Triple a

So here we go.

Sign Number 5

You Feel Damages Happen Overnight

Believe it or not; most men that go through this type of trauma always feel that the woman just changed overnight.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

Some call it “the walk away wife syndrome.”  It’s basically unhappy wives who leave their husbands… emphasis on “UNHAPPY”.  

There is not one single event that can destroy your marriage.  And if you can’t comprehend that, comprehend this.  

Not realizing that damages never happen overnight is a sign that your marriage is over and potentially forever.  In fact, your marriage ended a long time ago.  

So clearly, it’s even worse that you haven’t been able to pay enough attention to detect this for potentially so long.

She didn’t just pull the plug on emotions she had for you.  Rather, she had been disconnected from you emotionally long before you realized.

Maybe she was trying to protect your feelings and then finally realized that it is a non-sustainable effort.  Many women try this and it always fails eventually.

You Feel Damages Happen Overnight

Sign Number 4

You Use Children to Manipulate

Naturally, a separation from family, wife or husband will create trauma for your children and that’s simply part of life.

But let’s be honest, overreacting to this is obviously an indication that… you have probably overreacted to many other events in the past.

The default is that your children will get dragged through the mud that you and your ex-partner-to-be have created.  It’s just the reality.

And if you have a hard time facing reality, it is little-to-no-wonder that you will attempt to use your children’s trauma to manipulate the direction of things.  Is that what you mean by “She never sees our one year old son?”

That, precisely, is a sign that your marriage is over.  It doesn’t have to be over, if you are willing to indulge in the possibility of a new understanding.

Your focus needs to go into working on the evaporated attraction in your romantic relationship because it is the root cause.  It is your only point of leverage and there are any further chances.

You Use Children to Manipulate

Sign Number 3

You Think Separation is Bad

If you think separation is bad, your marriage is probably over.  Saying that is just another manipulative measure to get a person who doesn’t want you to stay with you.

There is no better way to tell me that you are negotiating “desire”.  It doesn’t work.  In fact, it will work against your marriage.

In addition, pushing against separation is not a way to save your marriage.  If at least one of the parties is asking for separation, that marriage is over anyway.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t build a new foundation from scratch with or without the same person.

As long as you are obsessed with the idea of sustaining the present terrible state of your marriage, how can you build another foundation?

Remember the emphasis on “happy”?  How can you create happiness in a marriage where one person is not happy?

I know what you are thinking.  Everyone is responsible for their own happiness?  You are half-wrong because how we feel is a function of our environment. 

So as long as you are a part of your spouses’ environment, you are a factor.  You are part of the variables that determine her emotional state.

But also vice versa.

Do wives ever come back after separation?  The answer is “YES”.  But how likely is that to happen to you?

Sign Number 2

You Project Stats & Data on Relationships

Your marriage is over if you project improperly interpreted stats and data on your relationship as facts.  Your wife will not come back after separation.

So even if we have to take “Triple A Triple a”’s comment, which is the fact that only 5% of separation works, I guarantee that your personal case will be in the 80% that end up in divorce if you project the “stat” on your relationship.

It’s simple.  In the human experience, what you focus on expands.  That principle is undefeated just like the fact that she wants separation.

Data and stat are mostly useful in a class and scholar activities.  

If you are personally going through a crisis in your relationship, focus on learning what it takes to create attraction in your particular situation.  

You can’t do that trying to smother a person who wants to leave with numbers and stats.

Tip Number 1

You Believe She Has Someone Else in Mind

You Believe She Has Someone Else in Mind

In fact, it’s true that many women are right now trying to figure out how to leave their husbands for a different life all together; not just someone else.

She wants to leave.  The attempt to make yourself feel better by accusing her of having someone else in mind is just another useless effort to save the marriage.

Let’s be honest.  You will only feel worse even if it isn’t true.  Also, you are spreading unnecessary toxic energy.

But again, I know what you are thinking.

What if it’s true that she has someone else?

Let me ask you the same question.  What if?

Is that a good excuse to drag yourself further through the mud?  Is that a reality you can’t deal with without throwing your whole life away?

If the answer is yes, have you considered it… as a good reason to obsessively smother the relationship to death? 

We are speaking from experience.  

We share our own story inside the book “GET MY MARRIAGE BACK” which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you’d like us to cover on the next video.

5 “Do’s & Don’ts” During Separation in Marriage (ft Obodo Oyinbo TV)

Quick story.  So my husband was on Aunty B’s platform, Obodo Oyinbo TV, in the past few days oh my God… he ended up becoming an overnight detective.

A man had called him before he called into a show making wild claims about women in Nigeria and as usual, it was obvious to him that this man was speaking from personal experience.

The truth is that we have both men and women who perpetuate this terrible behavior once they have had  traumatic experiences in marriage or relationships.

And nothing good comes out of it.

So we want to share 5 “do’s & don’ts” if you happen to be in a separation from your marriage at this moment.  

We  know you will be tempted to destroy your future relationship if you don’t know these things so please, pay attention.

Thing Number 5

Don’t Focus on Whose Fault; It’s Irrelevant

After about 30,000 views, what I always knew was confirmed.  He was projecting from his personal experiences.

He is presently separated from his wife who he had met in Nigeria while visiting.  So the wife had recently asked for divorce.

So he decided he wanted to help others who may be captured by the evil women who are poor and live in Nigeria; according to him.

After getting dragged on that platform so many times, there was one thing that really stood out to me and this is it.

He was obsessed with who was at fault for the demise of the marriage.  Not just that, we are talking about a need to spell out every fault at every stop since he met the lady.

If you are in separation and you want the outcome of the process to be positive, you have two choices.

Decide that no one is at fault or… 

The 2nd choice, which is “both of you are at fault”; unless of course, someone had a gun to their head during the decision to engage in a romantic way.

Thing Number 4

Don’t Attempt Saving Others Before Healing

Don’t Attempt Saving Others Before Healing

So we get it.  You’ve just gone through a very traumatic situation and experience.  Your experience is valid but you need to believe that.

Naturally, if you consider yourself “nice” or “good”, you might want to jump out there and save everyone else from people like your ex-partner who is now a bad person I guess…

Don’t do it.  You will end up re-creating your own version of your experience in others and they will effectively project it further into our society… 

…when it is in-fact, not necessarily their experience.

It’s a fact that your ex-partner had their own experience. This is why those who don’t know any better end up calling each other liars; making things worse.

Stay away from trying to help others until you make sure you’ve gone through healing.

And have peace with the idea that it’s not necessarily anyone’s fault.

Thing Number 3

Let Go In Every Sense

Let Go In Every Sense

Generally speaking, letting go is one of the hardest things for humans to do.  People would yell out things like “I don’t care” with such anger.

You would be left to wonder…”Do you believe that you don’t care or you need to convince yourself even more?”

It’s confusing at best.  Sure you should be able to tell your story.  But you should only do it within a controlled context and environment.

Letting go, self control and awareness is key but hard.  Have you noticed that you enjoy talking so much about your ex-partner particularly in a bad light?

Thing Number 2

Engage a Wise Counsel

There is a good chance you are not able to smell your own breath.  You can barely see your own nose.  Maybe if you calm down, you can at least see a blurry version of it.

The point I am making is this.  Separation from a marriage is tough on a human heart.  Take some time off and engage wise counsel.

We all have a blind spot by default.  So how much more when everything you believed when it comes to romance is being questioned.

Thing Number 1

Don’t Generalize! It’s a sign of a weak person…

Don’t Generalize! It’s a sign of a weak person…

Let me ask that question I asked previously again.  Have you noticed that you enjoy talking so much about your ex-partner particularly in a bad light?

Or maybe this time, you’ve managed to camouflage it as a generalized story that you have become an evangelist for.

You find yourself saying things like “American women are not good wives.”  You’ve perfected the art of saying “All Nigerian men are cheaters.”

I’m just gonna be straight up with you.  There is no better way to tell us that you need counseling and possibly therapy than showcasing a habit of generalizing.

It’s a red flag.  You shouldn’t be advising or trying to save anyone.

It’s projection at best.  There is no way that you know enough people to be capable of generalizing in the name of helping someone.

You will end up making more people toxic than you help if at all..

We are speaking from experience.  We share our own story inside the book “GET MY MARRIAGE BACK” which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you’d like us to cover on the next video. 

5 Positive Signs During Separation

Quick story.  About 7 months ago, she decided to go for trial separation but things have basically been in a limbo since then.

At the time, she was 8 months pregnant and taking care of 2 kids at the same time with no help whatsoever from the husband.  

She would complain but he would just apologize and promise to work on it; then repeat the same cycle over again.

So she got tired of the empty promises and went for the trial separation.  She thinks she is seeing some changes now but not too sure if he’s faking it or he’s actually doing the work.

There have been times in the past that she thought things were better even up to a year ago, forgave… but now… she wouldn’t even allow him to touch her.

She claims the sex was horrible because of how she felt towards him at the initiation of the trial separation.

Though she took full responsibility for her portion of the decline in the marriage, he refused to see any issues which left her with no choice but to let him figure himself out.

Hence the separation that started 7 months ago.

Now, she is feeling much better but wants to know if there are any positive signs to look out for during this separation to determine if it’s working in the favor of the marriage or if it’s a lost cause.

So we want to share just five signs with you to look out for to determine if a good and healthy reunion is in sight.

Sign Number 5

Becoming Friends

Becoming FriendsSadly in these modern times, most people trying to fight for their marriage end up in big English grammatical echo chambers where all they will learn is how to diagnose their partners psychologically.

You will hear diagnoses such as narcissism, controlling, insecure etc… to the point where they don’t know how to recognize normal interaction any longer.

The sad part is that people, even when they are not professionals or have any experience, will make blanket bold statements such as once a… (fill in the blank)… always a (fill in the blank.)

So it becomes extremely hard to see a simple positive sign in separation such as becoming friends again.

This one thing is priceless and you can’t buy it with money.  Believe it or not, you can buy a wife, a husband, a girl or boyfriend.  But you can’t buy a friend.

So if you are in the middle of separation and you are noticing that friendship is finding its way back, that is a strong foundation to build upon if you are willing.

Sign Number 4

Sharing Space

Well, the whole point of separation also involves physical distance.  But we are humans and distance, they say, makes the heart fonder.

This is especially true if there was some type of friendship before things went completely left.  If that was the case, friends who are also lovers tend to find their way back into the same space.

Maybe not necessarily living under the same roof, but you find that you are able to share space together even if it’s with other mutual friends.  

That, my friend, is a great foundation to start working on your marriage together.

Many separated couples do not have that luxury and it’s worth appreciating and leveraging as a positive sign during your separation.

Again… simple but powerful.

Sign Number 3

Share Entertainment

Share EntertainmentEvery separation comes with some damages that can creep back as resentments and try to destroy your marriage even after reconciliation and reuniting back together.  

With the right tools, you can and will sustain such forces.

You are in a team together so you ultimately have a better leverage against any outside forces if you are aware of your power as a team.

Quick story.  

For us… even after creating some damage, we would end up sitting and watching TV shows together, sharing links of memes, funny and viral videos back and forth.

If you are blessed with this type of scenario, that is a positive sign during separation.

Sign Number 2

Acceptance

Naturally you are observing your partner.  

 

I say that because you may be using the “no contact rule” as a tool to boost attraction but hopefully-primarily to take time to boost your self confidence and self esteem.

But naturally you are observing your partner… at least occasionally.  

We are talking about your spouse here… in the middle of probably the painful experience of separation on both sides.

So you are observing if we are being honest.  

In that observation, are you noticing more acceptance of the reality of the possibility of the marriage ending for good?

I know this may be counter-intuitive.

But if you are noticing this, that’s what you need because it’s a sign of wholesomeness on your partner’s part. It means the quality of being beneficial and generally good for you.

When you are self-sustainable as individuals, you dramatically increase the chance that your marriage will be self-sustainable and not drain life out of one or both of you.

Let me ask you a question… 

Can you personally and confidently survive and thrive if you have to do that without your husband?

Please answer in the comment space below.

Sign Number 1

Sex

SexListen. You are humans like the rest of us here.  If you mistakenly broke your own rule and have sex with your partner during separation, that’s could be a positive sign.

Sex can also be a negative sign.  You may just be addicted to a terrible sex-based relationship.  

If you are D or P whipped, when you clearly feel terrible emotionally after the session, that’s a negative sign.

But if you lined up the other signs from sign number five to two that we previously shared with you, this is definitely a positive sign that you can turn into a foundation.

Speaking of foundation…

Don’t attempt reconciliation or getting back together without engaging in good counsel, coaching or therapy.  Healing is necessary in order to not create the same bad cycle all over again.

We are speaking from experience.  We share our own story inside the book “GET MY MARRIAGE BACK” which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you’d like us to cover on the next video.

ACCOUNTABILITY vs RESPONSIBILITY – “If I Have To Protect You, Why Can’t I Hold You Accountable.” [PART 2]

Accountability Vs Blame In Relationships & Marriage

Thank you so much for being here.  Please support the channel by hitting the like button, sharing the video and more importantly, sharing your thoughts and engaging in the comment area below.

In my last video before part 1 on Will Smith’s apology video, I talked about blame as a function of baseless guilt and shaming.

Accountability on the flip side is a function of a solid foundation and set of values that all involved parties have subscribed to.

When you hold people accountable, you should be holding them to account for agreed standards within the right frame of mind.  But when you mix that up with blame, shame, insults, there will be distortion of what the standards are… naturally.

I personally have to continually work on this when I hold men accountable.  It’s hard when I can clearly see the wrong to not use certain languages to express my frustrations.

I tend to say things like lame, incel, weak etc.

Shaming, blaming, insults, condemnations simply cannot be in the same space as accountability in relationships, marriage and any type or romantic context.

I do have to keep my foot on your neck.  Gentlemen, we have to figure this out.

5 Signs of Lack of Accountability In Relationships & Marriage

Lack of Accountability

Sign Number 5 – When you tend to use shaming, blaming, insults, condemnations and judgmental tactics, it’s a sign that your woman is having a hard time holding herself accountable to you.

Sign Number 4 – The use of the words “always” and “never”.  Here is an example, “you never listen to me.”  Such statements are lies by default and definitely signs of lack of self-accountability which “always: (no pun intended) turns to overall lack of accountability.

Sign Number 3 – Confusing lack of desire and lack of accountability is a sign of lack of self accountability and self-respect… and it’s worse.

Sign Number 2 – When you are confused between protecting her feelings vs making sure she feels protected while “holding her accountable” that’s a sign that will defeat accountability.

Sign Number 1 – Last but not least, active competition in any form between couples is a sign of lack of accountability on at least whoever is claiming to be the leader of the union.

When men talk about holding women accountable, there is usually a piece of information that I find missing.

“Exactly what are you holding her accountable to?”  

At this point, the rambling usually starts for three minutes and then maybe ends at “women never apologize.”

Remember what I said earlier about the use of the words “always” and “never”.  It’s a sign of lack of self-accountability and ignorance.

I do believe you should be able to at least hold yourself accountable for not being able to leave a terrible relationship.  That in itself is an undefeatable strategy to holding women accountable.

But when I see stuff like.. 

“Hold women accountable by leaving them alone with their kids and cats,” I am forced to look at you sideways and ask. Why do you feel the need for the insults?

Is the truth not good enough?  Is that a testament to why you are having a hard time holding your woman accountable?  

Is this why you keep asking women to allow you to lead?  Just questions…

Your truth is not good enough for women to be accountable to?

accountable woman

A lot of people having these conversations are real time case studies of the lack of accountability epidemics.  It’s contagious.

Because of their conduct evident by women being afraid to come on the panel for the discussions, it’s obvious to me why women will simply not listen to them.

And if they did, they tend to call them out on emotions in attempts to lead and hold them accountable… Clearly, it’s not working but then it’s supposed to be the woman’s fault.

I hear things like “I was respectful and she hits me with disrespect.”  

Again, continuing to engage such a person (not just a woman) tells me you lack self respect. This will be a good moment to practice self-accountability.

Women are not just going to submit to you just for being a man.  That’s being delusional and that’s not the reality of life in any society.

You get the basic bare minimum respect first and it’s easy to lose that with the mindset that all women should submit regardless.

Delusional people tend to use the word “should” a whole lot.

Having an opinion on strangers and the general public is not the same as holding them accountable.  What could you possibly be holding them accountable to other than your own delusions?

If a person is already disagreeing with you in a debate, you can’t just move the goal post and switch it to an attempt to hold them accountable.  That’s why you are failing.

By default, they are not agreeable because you are equally in debate with them.

Here are some real life questions and weird answers around holding women accountable

Question: What do I do if my girlfriend never accepts her mistakes?

A Stupid Answer: “My suggestion is to just run from this toxic person….even I had a girlfriend who never used to accept her mistake…and she was trying to ruin my life…50 percent damage was already done by her to me so in order to save my future…I stopped contacting her…I am happy now… RUN…SAVE YOURSELF…”

The Right Answer: This answer is projection at best.  If she never accepts her mistakes, the first step is to set a good tone and the second step is to have a conversation about it.

Frankly, I need to know her mistakes before I can help because you used the word “never.”  That makes your accusations a lie by default until proven otherwise.

Question: Why doesn’t my girlfriend take responsibility for her wrong doings in our relationship and why do I apologize in the end?

A Stupid Answer: Why, indeed? Never falsely apologize. That’s a lie. Worse, you lie to yourself. This person you refer to as your girlfriend is a drama queen. She hears nothing other than her own voice. Selfish as they come. I don’t care how cute she appears on the outside, she’s dark and ugly on the inside. You will continue to be treated badly if you don’t put a stop to this. Next time you apologize let it be for your mistake of putting up with her.

The Right Answer: This started off as an okay answer but at the end it was laced with shaming, blaming and insults.  

As much as the answer was, I guess, designed to make the asker of the question feel good, he probably felt worse because of the past choices and the focus becomes that.

Blame is 100% destructive at a psychological level.  It ignores all the processes that go into the choices that we make.  Stop confusing it with accountability.  

Relationship Accountability Spectrum

Relationship Accountability Spectrum

So there is a spectrum here that I stole nicely from a Dr Perel called the relationship accountability spectrum. It was used to categorize ghosting in dating to icing, passive, simmering, power parting and active cold ghosting.

WIth the same idea, think of holding a woman accountable as four different methods on a spectrum.

1. Holding just yourself accountable, a typical good woman will follow your lead anyway. 

2. Mostly holding yourself accountable, a typical good woman will give you enough grace even when you are weak and still follow your lead anyway. 

3. Mostly holding her accountable, a typical good woman will give you enough grace, try to follow your lead but may get tired of the bullshit.  

4. Focus all your energy on holding just her alone accountable by barking at her from time to time, a typical good woman will give you enough grace, try to follow your lead but will get tired of the bullshit las las.

Where do you fall on that spectrum?

A bad woman?  Hold yourself accountable and leave. Easier said than done… right?


2 FREE Books Download - $197

2 FREE Books