Is your husband always angry? I get it—living with a husband who’s always angry, negative, or moody can feel like walking on eggshells.
It can put a real strain on the relationship and your own well-being.
But don’t fret! We’ve got some tips and insights to help you navigate this challenging situation and maybe even find opportunities for growth.
1. Understanding the Angry Vibe
First off, let’s acknowledge that dealing with a perpetually upset husband isn’t a walk in the park. It might feel like you’re under attack, and that’s totally understandable.
Feeling like you’re constantly under attack can be emotionally exhausting. It’s like carrying an invisible weight on your shoulders, and it’s crucial to acknowledge and validate these feelings.
When trying to understand the perpetually angry vibe, it’s beneficial for you to separate the person from the behavior.
Your husband’s anger is probably not a definition of his entire being; it’s a manifestation of something deeper. Perhaps it’s stress from work, health concerns, unresolved issues, or even personal insecurities.
By distinguishing between the person and the emotion, you create a space for empathy and a chance to uncover the root causes, which is essential for finding constructive solutions and fostering a stronger, more compassionate connection.
Remember, it’s not about excusing the behavior but understanding it in a way that allows for growth and healing.
2. You Have 2 Choices
However, it’s crucial to remember: you’ve got choices. Yep, two of ’em! You can either gear up to defend yourself against this seemingly inexplicable behavior or use it as a chance to elevate your relationship. Sounds tricky? We’ll break it down.
You’re the captain of your ship, and navigating these turbulent waters begins with recognizing your agency. Choosing to defend yourself might mean setting clear boundaries, asserting your needs, and seeking support.
On the flip side, viewing this challenging behavior as an opportunity is a mindset shift. It’s about transforming a negative situation into a chance for growth, both individually and as a couple.
Embrace it as an invitation to open lines of communication, to understand each other’s perspectives more deeply, and to collaborate on finding solutions.
This choice isn’t about sweeping problems under the rug but about facing them head-on, with a determination to evolve and strengthen the bonds of your relationship. It’s about choosing the path that aligns with your long-term happiness and well-being.
3. Analyzing the Angry Pattern
Is it really an “always” thing? Often, when we’re deep in the trenches of a romantic relationship, it’s easy to slap an “always” label on your husband’s behavior.
But here’s the thing: humans have a knack for exaggeration, especially when things get a little funky. Take a step back and ask yourself if this perpetual anger is truly constant or more of a tendency we all have to blow things out of proportion.
Our emotions can often lead us to perceive situations in absolutes, and relationships can be a breeding ground for such black-and-white thinking.
It’s like the fog of emotions can cloud our ability to see the nuances. Stepping back and taking a rational look at the situation can be like turning on a light in that fog.
It’s about realizing that labeling something as ‘always’ angry may not be accurate, and that in reality, emotions fluctuate, circumstances change, and people evolve.
Recognizing this can help you approach the issue with a more balanced perspective, encouraging dialogue and understanding instead of jumping to conclusions.
It’s not about dismissing the validity of your feelings obviously, but rather about seeing the bigger picture and finding a way to navigate the emotional landscape with clarity and insight.
4. The Importance of Support
Alright, here’s a golden rule: don’t pour from an empty cup. Dealing with a constantly angry husband can be emotionally draining, and you need your own support system.
Reach out to non-judgmental friends, family, a coach or a counselor. You need someone in your corner to help you navigate these challenging times.
Imagine you’re on a long journey and your emotional well-being is your fuel. To keep going, you need to make pit stops and refuel.
Dealing with a perpetually upset husband is no different. You can’t give them the understanding, patience, and support they need if your emotional tank is on-empty.
A support system acts like your pit stop, where you replenish your emotional reserves. It’s a safe space where you can vent, gain perspective, and gather the strength to face the storm.
Friends, family… Particularly non-judgmental and trusted ones, which is the minority, or a professional can be that pit stop, offering a listening ear, sound advice, and sometimes a good laugh.
Remember, you’re not alone on this journey, and having a support system can make all the difference in navigating these challenging times with resilience and grace. Okay. Let’s do some fire rounds for the rest of the tips.
5. Express Yourself, Loud and Clear
Now, let’s talk about action. When you feel that wave of anger coming from your husband, it’s vital not to enable any bad behaviors that tag along—yelling, emotional or verbal abuse, you name it.
As soon as you sense it, express how you feel. Communication is key… but effective communication is really what you need. It’s like a pressure valve, releasing the pent-up tension.
6. Recognizing Cry for Help
Moody behavior and constant complaining might be signs that your husband is struggling. It’s like a cry out for help, a way of saying, “Hey, something’s not right in my world.” Instead of taking it personally, consider this an opportunity to support your husband through a difficult time. If you are having to do that quite often, it’s not sustainable. Seek professional help.
7. Weathering the Storm: A Phase, Not a Lifetime
Remember, this phase doesn’t have to last forever. If you tackle it head-on, seeing it as an opportunity for growth, you’ll come out stronger on the other side. It’s about handling the stormy seas of a relationship and finding the silver lining.
There you go! Remember, navigating a moody husband takes patience, understanding, and a good dose of self-care. Hang in there, and don’t hesitate to seek professional help when needed. Your relationship is worth the effort!
Frequently Asked Questions
Can a marriage survive anger issues?
Absolutely! It’s tough, but with open communication, empathy, and sometimes professional help, many marriages do weather the storm of anger issues.
How can I control my husband’s anger issues?
You can’t control someone else’s anger, but you can encourage them to seek help, like therapy or anger management classes. Your support and understanding are crucial.
Why is my husband always in a bad mood?
There could be various underlying reasons, from personal stress to health issues. The key is to talk openly and support each other in finding solutions.
How do you live with a difficult husband?
Living with a difficult husband involves setting boundaries, practicing self-care, seeking support, and encouraging open dialogue. It’s about finding a balance between self-preservation and supporting your spouse.
Trust is the foundation of any successful relationship, providing a sense of security, intimacy, and emotional connection.
However, trust can be fragile, and when it is broken, it requires intentional effort and commitment to rebuild.
In this blog post, we will explore 23 effective ways to fix and rebuild trust in a relationship.
From understanding the dynamics of trust to fostering open communication and vulnerability, these strategies will help readers navigate the challenging path of rebuilding trust.
1. Understand the Importance of Trust
Begin by recognizing the significance of trust in a relationship. Understand how trust affects the emotional well-being of both partners and the overall health of the relationship.
Before we dive into the nitty-gritty of rebuilding trust, let’s take a moment to truly grasp the significance of trust in a relationship.
Trust is the bedrock that holds everything together – it’s the glue that keeps the bond between two people strong and resilient.
When trust flourishes, it becomes the fertile soil for love, intimacy, and growth to blossom.
Both partners can feel secure in the knowledge that they can rely on each other, no matter what challenges life throws their way.
Trust empowers individuals to be their authentic selves, fostering an atmosphere of acceptance and support.
On the flip side, when trust is shattered, it can lead to a range of emotional turmoil – from feelings of betrayal and hurt to insecurity and doubt.
That’s why rebuilding trust is a journey that requires patience, commitment, and a genuine desire to repair what’s broken.
So, let’s roll up our sleeves and embark on the path to rebuilding trust in your relationship, one step at a time!
2. Accept Responsibility
If you have broken the trust, take responsibility for your actions. Acknowledge the impact of your behavior on your partner and express genuine remorse.
Alright, it’s time to put on our grown-up hats and take responsibility for our actions! If you find yourself on the “Oops, I messed up” side of the trust equation, it’s crucial to step up and own it.
Avoid the blame game or trying to shift responsibility elsewhere. Instead, face the music and acknowledge the impact your behavior had on your partner.
It takes courage and vulnerability to admit your mistakes, but doing so is a powerful step towards rebuilding trust.
Express genuine remorse and show that you understand the hurt you caused. Let your partner know that you’re committed to making amends and to becoming a better partner.
Taking responsibility not only demonstrates your integrity but also sets the stage for open communication and healing.
So, embrace this opportunity to grow and evolve, because rebuilding trust begins with looking in the mirror and being accountable for our actions.
3. Open and Honest Communication
Establish open lines of communication with your partner. Encourage honest conversations about your feelings, concerns, and desires. Actively listen to your partner without judgment.
In the realm of trust-building, open and honest communication reigns as the cornerstone of a solid foundation.
Establishing open lines of communication with your partner fosters an environment of transparency and vulnerability.
Encourage candid conversations about your feelings, concerns, and desires, allowing both of you to express yourselves authentically.
Remember, communication isn’t just about speaking; it’s about actively listening.
Set aside distractions, be fully present, and attentively listen to your partner’s words and emotions.
Practice empathy and understanding, free from judgment.
When both partners feel heard and validated, trust blossoms, paving the way for a deeper emotional connection and a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.
So, let your communication be a beacon of trust, guiding your journey towards a more profound understanding of each other’s hearts and minds.
4. Practice Active Listening
Listening attentively to your partner’s thoughts and feelings demonstrates respect and shows that you value their perspective. Avoid interrupting or getting defensive during discussions.
Listening is an art, my friends, and when it comes to rebuilding trust, it’s an art you’ll want to master. Practicing active listening is a powerful way to show your partner that their thoughts and feelings matter to you.
By giving them your undivided attention, you demonstrate respect and genuine interest in their perspective. Resist the urge to interrupt or get defensive during discussions, as this can shut down the lines of communication and hinder the trust-building process.
Instead, let your partner express themselves fully, and when they’re done, respond with empathy and understanding.
Reflect back on what they’ve shared to ensure you’ve understood correctly, and ask clarifying questions if needed.
Active listening allows you to truly connect with your partner on a deeper level, fostering an atmosphere of safety and openness.
So, sharpen those listening skills and let your partner know that their words are valued, cherished, and trusted in the sanctuary of your relationship.
5. Express Empathy
Develop empathy by trying to understand your partner’s emotions and point of view. Validate their feelings and let them know that you hear and understand them.
Empathy is the superpower of trust-building.
Step into your partner’s shoes and make an effort to truly grasp their emotions and point of view.
When you validate their feelings and let them know you hear and understand them, you create a bridge of connection and support, deepening the trust between you both.
6. Rebuild Integrity
Consistently act with integrity and honesty. Make a commitment to follow through on your words and promises. This consistency will help rebuild trust over time.
Integrity is the cornerstone of trust. It’s about walking the talk and aligning your actions with your words.
When you consistently act with honesty and keep your promises, you show your partner that they can rely on you, fostering a sense of security and dependability.
This commitment to integrity over time builds a strong track record of trustworthiness, laying the groundwork for rebuilding trust and creating a lasting, fulfilling relationship.
So, let integrity be your guiding principle on this journey of trust-building, and watch how it transforms your connection with your partner.
7. Apologize Sincerely
Offer a genuine and heartfelt apology for the actions that led to the breach of trust. Take responsibility for the pain caused and express your desire to make amends.
A genuine and heartfelt apology can work wonders in rebuilding trust.
When you take responsibility for the pain caused and express your desire to make amends, it demonstrates your dedication to rebuilding trust and healing the wounds that may have emerged.
8. Patience and Time
Rebuilding trust is a gradual process that requires both partners to be patient and committed.
Trust cannot be rebuilt overnight, but with genuine effort and understanding, it can be nurtured and strengthened over time, paving the way for a stronger and more resilient relationship.
9. Establish Boundaries
Boundaries are like the fence that safeguards trust in a relationship.
When you set clear and mutually agreed-upon boundaries, it creates a sense of safety and respect, allowing both partners to feel secure in their emotional space.
Openly discussing expectations helps ensure that both individuals’ needs are honored, nurturing a relationship built on trust and understanding.
But keep in mind that application of boundaries is more of an art than it is exact science.
Focus on managing your expectations and giving your partner unlimited freedom to express their expectations.
10. Demonstrate Reliability
Reliability is one of the backbone of trust in a relationship.
By consistently showing up for your partner and keeping your promises, you build a foundation of dependability and faith, reinforcing the belief that you can be counted on through thick and thin.
Small gestures of reliability, like being punctual and attentive, further cement the trust between you both, fostering a deeper emotional connection and a sense of security in your relationship.
11. Avoid Deception
In the realm of trust-building, wisdom guides our approach to honesty and transparency.
While honesty remains essential, exercise discernment in how and when you communicate.
Strive for authentic communication that considers your partner’s emotions and the context of the situation.
Balancing truthfulness with sensitivity fosters trust in a relationship, creating a safe space where open communication thrives, even in emotionally charged moments.
Embrace wisdom as your compass, steering you towards building a bond grounded in trust and understanding.
12. Seek Professional Help
When navigating the complex terrain of rebuilding trust, don’t hesitate to seek the assistance of a couples therapist, relationship counselor, or coach.
These trained professionals offer a fresh perspective, helping both partners gain valuable insights and develop effective tools to overcome challenges and strengthen trust in the relationship.
Embracing professional support is a powerful step towards fostering open communication and healing, leading to a more resilient and harmonious bond.
13. Practice Forgiveness
In the journey of rebuilding trust, practicing forgiveness is a transformative act of healing.
While it may be challenging, work towards forgiveness, without imposing unrealistic expectations on yourself or your partner.
Remember, forgiveness is a deeply personal process, and seeking support from a therapist or counselor can provide valuable guidance as you navigate this journey with patience and compassion, ultimately fostering a stronger foundation of trust in your relationship.
14. Build Self-Trust
Before trusting others, it’s essential to cultivate trust within yourself.
Prioritize self-care, set healthy boundaries, and follow through on your commitments to strengthen your self-trust.
As you become more confident in your own integrity, trusting others becomes a natural extension, fostering a solid and authentic foundation of trust in your relationship.
15. Be Accountable
Accountability is a cornerstone of trust in a relationship.
It’s about owning up to your mistakes and taking responsibility for your actions.
When you show your partner that you are committed to personal growth and positive change, it not only rebuilds trust but also strengthens the bond of mutual respect and admiration.
16. Be Transparent
Transparency is vital in rebuilding trust while still respecting individuality and privacy.
Strive to share information openly, especially when it pertains to rebuilding trust, but also recognize the importance of maintaining a healthy level of personal boundaries.
Being an open book doesn’t mean sacrificing your right to privacy, so find a balance that fosters trust and respect for each other’s individuality.
Embrace transparency as a way to nurture a deeper understanding and connection with your partner, without compromising on the need for personal space and privacy.
17. Demonstrate Consistency
In the process of rebuilding trust, consistency is the key that unlocks the door to a more secure and fulfilling relationship.
Align your words and actions consistently, showing your partner that they can rely on you.
This steadfastness reassures them that you are trustworthy and genuinely committed to positive change, fostering a sense of safety and stability in your bond.
Remember, trust is built over time through consistent efforts, so let your actions speak louder than words as you walk the path of trust-building together.
18. Show Appreciation
In the journey of rebuilding trust, expressing genuine appreciation for your partner’s efforts is like watering the seeds of trust, allowing them to grow and flourish.
Recognize their vulnerability and the courageous steps they are taking to heal the relationship, reinforcing their sense of value and importance in your life.
A little appreciation goes a long way, nurturing a deeper emotional connection and encouraging both partners to continue investing in building a strong foundation of trust.
19. Practice Empathy
Empathy is the heart of trust-building, allowing you to bridge the gap between you and your partner.
Put yourself in their shoes and strive to understand the depth of their pain and emotions.
By showing genuine empathy and compassion, you create a nurturing space where healing and understanding can flourish, laying the groundwork for rebuilding trust and deepening your emotional connection.
20. Let Go of Resentment
Rebuilding trust requires letting go of past resentments and releasing the grip of anger.
Carrying grudges only hinders the healing process and prevents true growth.
Again, embrace forgiveness as a powerful tool for moving forward, allowing both partners to focus on building a brighter future together, free from the weight of past grievances.
21. Initiate Couples Activities
Participating in shared activities strengthens the bond between partners and nurtures trust in a relationship.
Whether it’s enjoying shared hobbies, going on date nights, or creating new experiences together, these activities create positive memories that serve as a foundation for rebuilding trust and enhancing emotional connection.
Creating new experiences when the opportunity presents itself will naturally erase bad old experiences.
22. Focus on Self-Improvement
In the journey of rebuilding trust, prioritizing self-improvement is a powerful step towards building a healthier relationship.
Investing in emotional intelligence, communication skills, and self-awareness enables you to better navigate challenges, address your own triggers, and create a more fulfilling connection with your partner.
As you grow individually, you bring greater strength and understanding to the relationship, fostering trust and harmony between you both.
23. Celebrate Progress
In the process of rebuilding trust, acknowledging and celebrating every step forward is essential.
Each small victory reaffirms the dedication to heal and strengthens the resolve to nurture a strong and healthy relationship.
Embrace the journey of progress, knowing that with patience, effort, and celebration of milestones, trust will flourish, and your relationship will blossom into an even more resilient and loving bond.
Conclusion
As you’ve learned, rebuilding trust is a journey that demands dedication and compassion from both partners.
By embracing the strategies outlined above – from open communication to practicing forgiveness and empathy – you can begin to mend the fractures in your relationship and nurture a deeper connection with your loved one.
We have been through this rebuilding trust in a relationship. So if you’re ready to take the next step in restoring trust and strengthening your bond, we invite you to download our free book “Get My Marriage Back.”
Packed with practical tools, and our real-life success stories, this book offers invaluable insights to guide you on the path to healing, seducing your partner, boosting attraction and rebuilding a loving, lasting relationship with your romantic partner.
Don’t wait any longer. Click the link below to access your free copy of “Get My Marriage Back” now: Download our book.
Together, let’s embark on this transformative journey of trust-building and reignite the flame of love and understanding in your relationship. Your future of trust, love, and happiness awaits. Download your free book today.
Can you rebuild trust in a relationship?
Yes, trust can be rebuilt in a relationship with intentional effort and commitment from both partners.
What does trust mean in a relationship?
Trust in a relationship means having confidence in your partner’s reliability, honesty, and loyalty.
How do you fully trust a relationship?
To fully trust a relationship, it requires open communication, vulnerability, and consistent actions that align with words.
How do you resolve trust issues?
Trust issues can be resolved through honest conversations, active listening, understanding each other’s perspectives, and working towards rebuilding trust.
What is the base of trust in relationship?
The base of trust in a relationship is built on integrity, honesty, dependability, and consistent actions that demonstrate reliability and commitment to the partnership.
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In this video, we are adding some context to an answer we gave to Queen some few weeks back. Be sure to check out that video.
It’s called “Unwanted Separation? Use THESE 5 Tips!” It was also a response to an original video called “Ignoring Your Spouse During Separation 💔”
Here is her response to that video.
“Thank you Lola and Ola. I am grateful for you guys. You have opened a new perspective to me. I believe I should work on myself now moving forward. The period of sorrow and grief is coming to an end.
About the question if I am a selfish person, the answer is no. I have always given people my time, love and affection. I’d rather love others first.
I don’t know how to only focus on me. It’s not healthy. I’d rather give to those who need me. I never put myself first but look for the good of those around me.
Hence I helped hubby become who he is today. Now that he’s left I don’t understand what I did wrong to be honest.
We spoke a few days ago and he wanted to know what I have been up to. I don’t know why he suddenly is interested to know about my whereabouts but he will not disclose what he’s doing or how he feels. Which I find strange that he’s obsessed with knowing what I am about.
I think I need to be more attractive and work on myself more like you mentioned. I will revive my passions and allow time to heal like they say.
For now I will focus on what makes me happy and keep me focused. I believe he’s still my husband. I am also going to download your free book now.” ~ Queen
So here we go. To add some context to Queen’s comment, we have created 5 keys to rekindling attraction from a seduction standpoint during a separation.
Let’s get into it.
Key Number 5
The Art of Obsession
As always, this is easier said than done. But it’s a simple concept. What makes it complex is the complex human mind.
When you experience rejection at any level, it breeds obsession and anxiety.
But when you are able to garner some self-control and back off just a little bit, you can successfully transfer that obsession and anxiety to the other party.
It also depends on how much damage may have occurred during the break down of the relationship.
If your separated spouse is not the exception minority with no emotional blood flowing in their vein, this works 100% of the time.
So it’s pretty normal for the obsession to flip to the other side when you take time to back off and allow nature to take its course.
If your partner needs space, things are bad already and you probably need more space than you realize.
Key Number 4
Don’t Fake The Flip
So, I want you to allow the obsession and the anxiety to flip from you to your partner naturally and organically. There are gurus out there teaching people to fake it.
You can’t afford to fake this stuff because that would be a lie and that would typically mean you have to keep lying to cover up lies. It’s not worth it because it’s too much energy trying to keep up with it.
It needs to be organic and this awareness right here will make it a little hard.
But the way to mitigate that is to really take this rare advantage of time apart to build yourself in every way you can think of; physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Leave very little room to sit around and allow your mind to wander around about things you can’t control such as sorrow and grief.
If you can do it, that’s obviously time spent away from obsessing over your estranged partner and that much time for them to start wondering about what you are up to.
That’s literally a form of attraction.
It’s organic and natural and proof that you can potentially rekindle attraction in a healthy way so that you can embrace it when you are ready.
Key Number 3
Don’t Run An Empty Cup
As “Queen” just acknowledged, you can’t afford to pour love into others from an empty cup; it will only drain your energy.
Yes we advocate for focusing on “giving” in a healthy relationship and not the falsehood of the “give and take” ideology that a bunch of selfish people are running around with on social media.
But please, do not take us out of context. You simply cannot give what you don’t already have.
We get this question all the time… “You are telling us to just GIVE but what if we are giving so much that the other person is not reciprocating?”
Good question.
But there is no better way to tell me that you are not giving anything to yourself. You are emptying out yourself to your partner.
That’s the only way you can have time to notice that they don’t reciprocate but you are not necessarily wrong; just a thought to consider.
And worse, you are setting them up with false metrics of expectations that are based purely on your disappointed emotions.
You can’t win together like that. You might win alone and effectively destroy the relationship. But let’s be guided.
When you can demonstrate the ability to take care of yourself, there is almost nothing sexier than that when it comes to rekindling attraction again.
And of course, they naturally can’t wait to get on your good side.
Key Number 2
Be Indifferent
Once you’ve managed to organically flip that obsession and anxiety over to the other side, do not prematurely engage.
Sure it’s attractive but it needs to be tested with time and persistence which must be demonstrated on all sides.
Don’t play games with this if you haven’t gone through an outright rejection from your spouse. That will make it fake, manipulative and it can backfire badly.
But in the case of what “Queen” described, she needs to disconnect as much as possible from wondering what she did wrong and why he is suddenly obsessed.
The bottom line is that he is obsessed because that’s attraction at play but more importantly, how she responds to it needs to showcase indifference.
What that means is that how you feel is neither here nor there. You are okay with whatever the outcome is and you will take your time because you are busy learning how to take care of yourself.
It might drive one or both of you wild.
But the attraction needs to be tested for strength because there is a real reason why a separation became reality in the first place.
It doesn’t matter if you are “the man” or “the woman”. The same attraction principle is applicable if you are feeling the emotions of rejection.
You can re-engage your seduction power and redirect the course.
Key Number 1
Self Love Is Still key
What if you lost your partner forever? Yea. What if? If you can’t handle that reality in your mind right now, it’s probably showing as needy behavior on the surface.
That’s not sexy.
It’s like no wonder they are running away from that.
The moment they can see that you are capable of loving yourself adequately, they will always regret a decision of not working on your relationship.
That self-love will attract a better companionship to you with or without your spouse; it’s non-negotiable.
And again, we are not talking to selfish people. Self-love as a religious talking point and ideology can also destroy you and everything you care about.
We are speaking from experience.
We share our own story inside the book “GET MY MARRIAGE BACK” which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
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In this video, we are responding to 2 comments with the 5 signs that a marriage is over based on how a man responds to a crisis.
Here is the first comment.
“My wife has been gone for a few months. 10 years together and she’s just pulled the plug on all emotions she had for me. She talks and looks at me differently now. She never sees our one year old son. Wtf has happened. God I miss her 😢” ~ by Slaven Yatic
And here is the 2nd comment.
“Truth is she doesn’t. Folks, separation is not a good thing period. 5% of separation works and they end up back together but 80% of separation ends up in a divorce. If your partner wants a separation it means they have someone else in mind.” ~ Comment by Triple A Triple a
So here we go.
Sign Number 5
You Feel Damages Happen Overnight
Believe it or not; most men that go through this type of trauma always feel that the woman just changed overnight. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Some call it “the walk away wife syndrome.” It’s basically unhappy wives who leave their husbands… emphasis on “UNHAPPY”.
There is not one single event that can destroy your marriage. And if you can’t comprehend that, comprehend this.
Not realizing that damages never happen overnight is a sign that your marriage is over and potentially forever. In fact, your marriage ended a long time ago.
So clearly, it’s even worse that you haven’t been able to pay enough attention to detect this for potentially so long.
She didn’t just pull the plug on emotions she had for you. Rather, she had been disconnected from you emotionally long before you realized.
Maybe she was trying to protect your feelings and then finally realized that it is a non-sustainable effort. Many women try this and it always fails eventually.
Sign Number 4
You Use Children to Manipulate
Naturally, a separation from family, wife or husband will create trauma for your children and that’s simply part of life.
But let’s be honest, overreacting to this is obviously an indication that… you have probably overreacted to many other events in the past.
The default is that your children will get dragged through the mud that you and your ex-partner-to-be have created. It’s just the reality.
And if you have a hard time facing reality, it is little-to-no-wonder that you will attempt to use your children’s trauma to manipulate the direction of things. Is that what you mean by “She never sees our one year old son?”
That, precisely, is a sign that your marriage is over. It doesn’t have to be over, if you are willing to indulge in the possibility of a new understanding.
Your focus needs to go into working on the evaporated attraction in your romantic relationship because it is the root cause. It is your only point of leverage and there are any further chances.
Sign Number 3
You Think Separation is Bad
If you think separation is bad, your marriage is probably over. Saying that is just another manipulative measure to get a person who doesn’t want you to stay with you.
There is no better way to tell me that you are negotiating “desire”. It doesn’t work. In fact, it will work against your marriage.
In addition, pushing against separation is not a way to save your marriage. If at least one of the parties is asking for separation, that marriage is over anyway.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t build a new foundation from scratch with or without the same person.
As long as you are obsessed with the idea of sustaining the present terrible state of your marriage, how can you build another foundation?
Remember the emphasis on “happy”? How can you create happiness in a marriage where one person is not happy?
I know what you are thinking. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness? You are half-wrong because how we feel is a function of our environment.
So as long as you are a part of your spouses’ environment, you are a factor. You are part of the variables that determine her emotional state.
But also vice versa.
Do wives ever come back after separation? The answer is “YES”. But how likely is that to happen to you?
Sign Number 2
You Project Stats & Data on Relationships
Your marriage is over if you project improperly interpreted stats and data on your relationship as facts. Your wife will not come back after separation.
So even if we have to take “Triple A Triple a”’s comment, which is the fact that only 5% of separation works, I guarantee that your personal case will be in the 80% that end up in divorce if you project the “stat” on your relationship.
It’s simple. In the human experience, what you focus on expands. That principle is undefeated just like the fact that she wants separation.
Data and stat are mostly useful in a class and scholar activities.
If you are personally going through a crisis in your relationship, focus on learning what it takes to create attraction in your particular situation.
You can’t do that trying to smother a person who wants to leave with numbers and stats.
Tip Number 1
You Believe She Has Someone Else in Mind
In fact, it’s true that many women are right now trying to figure out how to leave their husbands for a different life all together; not just someone else.
She wants to leave. The attempt to make yourself feel better by accusing her of having someone else in mind is just another useless effort to save the marriage.
Let’s be honest. You will only feel worse even if it isn’t true. Also, you are spreading unnecessary toxic energy.
But again, I know what you are thinking.
What if it’s true that she has someone else?
Let me ask you the same question. What if?
Is that a good excuse to drag yourself further through the mud? Is that a reality you can’t deal with without throwing your whole life away?
If the answer is yes, have you considered it… as a good reason to obsessively smother the relationship to death?
We are speaking from experience.
We share our own story inside the book “GET MY MARRIAGE BACK” which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
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Quick story. So my husband was on Aunty B’s platform, Obodo Oyinbo TV, in the past few days oh my God… he ended up becoming an overnight detective.
A man had called him before he called into a show making wild claims about women in Nigeria and as usual, it was obvious to him that this man was speaking from personal experience.
The truth is that we have both men and women who perpetuate this terrible behavior once they have had traumatic experiences in marriage or relationships.
And nothing good comes out of it.
So we want to share 5 “do’s & don’ts” if you happen to be in a separation from your marriage at this moment.
We know you will be tempted to destroy your future relationship if you don’t know these things so please, pay attention.
Thing Number 5
Don’t Focus on Whose Fault; It’s Irrelevant
After about 30,000 views, what I always knew was confirmed. He was projecting from his personal experiences.
He is presently separated from his wife who he had met in Nigeria while visiting. So the wife had recently asked for divorce.
So he decided he wanted to help others who may be captured by the evil women who are poor and live in Nigeria; according to him.
After getting dragged on that platform so many times, there was one thing that really stood out to me and this is it.
He was obsessed with who was at fault for the demise of the marriage. Not just that, we are talking about a need to spell out every fault at every stop since he met the lady.
If you are in separation and you want the outcome of the process to be positive, you have two choices.
Decide that no one is at fault or…
The 2nd choice, which is “both of you are at fault”; unless of course, someone had a gun to their head during the decision to engage in a romantic way.
Thing Number 4
Don’t Attempt Saving Others Before Healing
So we get it. You’ve just gone through a very traumatic situation and experience. Your experience is valid but you need to believe that.
Naturally, if you consider yourself “nice” or “good”, you might want to jump out there and save everyone else from people like your ex-partner who is now a bad person I guess…
Don’t do it. You will end up re-creating your own version of your experience in others and they will effectively project it further into our society…
…when it is in-fact, not necessarily their experience.
It’s a fact that your ex-partner had their own experience. This is why those who don’t know any better end up calling each other liars; making things worse.
Stay away from trying to help others until you make sure you’ve gone through healing.
And have peace with the idea that it’s not necessarily anyone’s fault.
Thing Number 3
Let Go In Every Sense
Generally speaking, letting go is one of the hardest things for humans to do. People would yell out things like “I don’t care” with such anger.
You would be left to wonder…”Do you believe that you don’t care or you need to convince yourself even more?”
It’s confusing at best. Sure you should be able to tell your story. But you should only do it within a controlled context and environment.
Letting go, self control and awareness is key but hard. Have you noticed that you enjoy talking so much about your ex-partner particularly in a bad light?
Thing Number 2
Engage a Wise Counsel
There is a good chance you are not able to smell your own breath. You can barely see your own nose. Maybe if you calm down, you can at least see a blurry version of it.
The point I am making is this. Separation from a marriage is tough on a human heart. Take some time off and engage wise counsel.
We all have a blind spot by default. So how much more when everything you believed when it comes to romance is being questioned.
Thing Number 1
Don’t Generalize! It’s a sign of a weak person…
Let me ask that question I asked previously again. Have you noticed that you enjoy talking so much about your ex-partner particularly in a bad light?
Or maybe this time, you’ve managed to camouflage it as a generalized story that you have become an evangelist for.
You find yourself saying things like “American women are not good wives.” You’ve perfected the art of saying “All Nigerian men are cheaters.”
I’m just gonna be straight up with you. There is no better way to tell us that you need counseling and possibly therapy than showcasing a habit of generalizing.
It’s a red flag. You shouldn’t be advising or trying to save anyone.
It’s projection at best. There is no way that you know enough people to be capable of generalizing in the name of helping someone.
You will end up making more people toxic than you help if at all..
