The stages of divorce grief are similar to the stages of grief that occur when someone dies.
The stages are shock and disbelief, pain and sorrow, anger and resentment, bargaining and guilt, and acceptance and hope. The order in which the stages occur may vary from person to person.
Some people may skip some of the stages or move through them more quickly than others.
It is important to allow yourself to grieve the loss of your marriage and not try to rush through the process.
1. Shock and disbelief: This is often the first stage after learning that your divorce is final. You may feel numb, have difficulty processing what has happened, and experience many other emotions, including sadness, anger, fear, and relief.
2. Pain and sorrow: As the reality of your divorce sets in, you will likely experience deep feelings of loss and grief.
You may find yourself crying often, feeling depressed, and struggling to cope with the changes in your life.
3. Anger and resentment: It is common to feel a range of negative emotions during this stage, including anger, bitterness, resentment, and frustration. You may lash out at your former spouse, friends, and family members.
4. Bargaining and guilt: During this stage, you may find yourself trying to negotiate with your former spouse or hoping for a reconciliation. You may also feel guilty about the divorce and blame yourself for the situation.
5. Acceptance and hope: In this final stage, you accept that the divorce is final and begin to move on with your life.
You may still feel sad and miss your former spouse, but you are able to start rebuilding your life. You may also feel hopeful about the future and find new meaning in your life.
Tips on Coping with Separation and Divorce
1. Recognize That Your Marriage Is Over: This can be difficult to accept, but it is an important step in the grieving process. Once you come to terms with the fact that your marriage is over, you can begin to move on.
2. Be Patient — Grief Takes Time: The stages of grief do not always happen in a linear fashion. You may move back and forth between stages or even skip some altogether.
3. Surround Yourself With People Who Support You — And Let Them Help: It can be helpful to talk to friends and family members who have gone through a divorce. They can offer guidance and support.
4. Practice Excellent Self-Care: During this difficult time, it is important to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Make sure to eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly.
5. Feel Your Feelings: It is normal to feel a range of emotions after your divorce. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of your marriage.
6. Find Out What’s There Besides Anger, Sadness, And Fear: As you move through the grieving process, you may find that you have new insights about yourself and your life. Allow yourself to explore these new perspectives.
7. Timebox Your Grief: Set aside specific times each day to grieve the loss of your marriage. This can help you to avoid becoming overwhelmed by your emotions.
8. Don’t Hide Your Divorce Grief From Your Kids (But Don’t Freak Them Out, Either)
It is important, to be honest with your children about your divorce. However, you should avoid sharing too much information or putting them in the middle of the situation.
9. Write It Out, Work It Out, Or Just plain Talk It Out: Journaling, therapy, and talking to friends and family members can all be helpful ways to cope with your divorce.
10. Stop Blaming Your Ex and Start Forgiving Them (and Yourself) One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to let go of any resentment and blame you may feel. This can be difficult, but it is an essential part of healing.
11. Remember: You Will Still Be a Part of Your Kid’s Life Even After Divorce Although your family may be changing, you will still be an important part of your children’s lives. Try to maintain a positive relationship with your former spouse for the sake of your kids.
12. Consider Professional Help Many people find it helpful to seek out professional help during the divorce process. A therapist can provide support and guidance as you navigate this difficult time.
If you are facing divorce, it is important to understand the grieving process. By recognizing the stages of grief, you can better prepare yourself for the journey ahead.
Remember, every divorce is unique and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. If you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to seek out professional help. With time and patience, you will eventually reach the acceptance and hope stage.
Don’t Suppress Your Feelings While Grieving
Everyone is different and everyone can experience each one of these stages very differently. Allowing yourself the freedom to grieve during a divorce doesn’t make you weak. In fact, it can actually make you stronger. If you try to bottle up your emotions, they may eventually come out in destructive ways. It’s okay to cry, be angry, and feel sad. These are all normal reactions to loss.
Divorce is a process, not an event. Just as there is no one right way to grieve the death of a loved one, there is no one right way to grieve the loss of a marriage. Allow yourself the time and space to experience all the emotions that come with this major life change. Seek out support from friends and family members, or consider professional help if you need it. With time and patience, you will eventually reach the acceptance and hope stage.
Coping With the Hard Feelings
Coping with grief during a divorce is exceedingly difficult. Feeling all the emotions mentioned in each stage during the process of divorce is common and necessary for moving forward. It is important to surround yourself with people that love you and support you to help you through this painful time. If you are feeling lost, consider professional counseling to help you regain a sense of self and hope for the future.
Ladies, few things in life feel worse than the nagging suspicion that your husband is cheating on you………other than to find out that’s actually the case.
There are a ton of little telltale signs that you may be able to spot that will start your womanly radar ticking.
Some of your man’s actions may end up being innocent enough, but at other times, where there’s smoke, there could be infidelity fire.
Cheating can be in the mind only, purely emotional, or physical, or a combination of all three.
Just like every marriage is different, so too is every case of cheating.
We won’t quote statistics, but studies show that a lot of men (and women for that matter) do contemplate cheating in some way at some point. It’s one way to explain why the nation’s divorce rate currently hovers at around 50 percent.
So, no matter what your degree of suspicion is when it comes to your husband and what’s in his mind, there are a number of things to keep an eye out for.
Don’t take them as gospel by themselves that cheating is going on, but if you see a lot of what follows in your marriage, it may be time for the “we need to talk” intervention.
Frustration in the marriage is one common trigger; the cheater may make several attempts to solve problems to no avail.
Maybe they had second thoughts about getting married or they were jealous over the attention given to a new baby and neither had the skill set to communicate these feelings.
Perhaps the straying spouse has childhood baggage — neglect, abuse, or a parent who cheated — that interferes with his or her ability to maintain a committed relationship.
Less often, the cheater doesn’t value monogamy, lacks empathy, or simply doesn’t care about the consequences.
We will take a look at a number of risk factors and causes for cheating, but it’s important to point out upfront that a partner doesn’t cause their spouse to cheat. Whether it was a cry for help, an exit strategy, or a means to get revenge after being cheated on themselves, the cheater alone is responsible for cheating.
1. He’s suddenly very interested in his appearance.
If your husband was previously indifferent to his appearance and is now spending more time than usual on his hair and clothes, it could be a sign that he’s trying to impress someone else.
He may also be working out more, or paying more attention to his grooming habits in general.
2. He’s working longer hours or taking more business trips.
If your husband’s work schedule has suddenly changed and he’s spending more time at the office or going on more business trips, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be using work as an excuse to meet someone else or to spend time away from home.
3. He’s become more distant and withdrawn.
If your husband is suddenly acting distant and withdrawn, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be less interested in talking to you or spending time with you. He may also seem preoccupied and distracted when you are together.
he’s cheating. He may be buying gifts for someone else, or he may be paying for activities that he wouldn’t normally spend money on.
4. He’s being secretive and evasive.
If your husband is being secretive and evasive, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be hiding his phone or computer from you, or deleting texts and emails without reading them.
He may also be reluctant to share information about his whereabouts or who he’s been spending time with.
5. He’s got a new group of friends.
If your husband has suddenly started hanging out with a new group of friends, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be spending more time with them than with you, or he may be secretive about who they are and what they do together.
6. He’s acting differently around you.
If your husband is acting differently around you, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be more critical of you, or he may be more distant and withdrawn.
He may also seem more interested in sex, or he may be less interested in sex.
7. He’s spending more money than usual.
If your husband is spending more money than usual, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be buying gifts for someone else, or he may be paying for activities that he wouldn’t normally spend money on.
8. What are those charges on the credit card?
If you monitor your monthly credit card statements and you start to see things pop up that you don’t recognize, they may be harmless, or they could be signs of monkey business that’s afoot.
If you can’t match up the expense with the story, that’s a problem. Also, if he’s now paying in cash for things that used to be charged, that’s a money monkey business concern as well.
9. He wants you to stop doing nice things for him.
Sometimes known as the Catholic guilt syndrome. If you’re being kind and considerate, as relationships should be, it could be revving up the conflict in him if he’s thinking about cheating or already doing so.
10. Cheat on me once, shame on you. Cheat on me twice, shame on me.
A spouse who has cheated in the past and gotten caught is more likely to think they can get away by doing a better job of cheating the second time around. If your spouse has a history of cheating, and you suspect cheating is happening again, it may be time to make that spouse a part of your history instead.
Why Do Husbands Cheat?
There are a lot of reasons that husbands cheat on their wives. Sometimes it has to do with the husband’s own insecurities or feeling like he isn’t good enough for his wife.
Sometimes cheating is a way to get revenge after an argument or disagreement. And sometimes, husbands cheat simply because they’re curious or they want to experience something new.
Welcome to the Ultimate Marriage Quiz where you will be able to assess your marriage for survival
… or becoming the dreaded 50% divorce-rate statistics.
Start the Marriage Quiz Here...
My marriage is bleeding towards divorce very fast and all our attempt to communicate end up in argument.
I don’t feel free with expressing myself and my feelings with my spouse.
My marriage brings pain to my soul very deeply and I have never had to face this level of challenge in my life.
On a scale of 1-10, my attraction level towards my spouse is...
I believe that my spouse is the chosen one for me and my soulmate. I don’t see myself with another person in the future.
My biggest fear is losing my spouse. So I will do anything to save our marriage.
My spouse has fallen out of love and I feel hopeless because I don’t think our marriage can survive without us both in love
Based on my experience, I don’t feel that love is enough now... at least not anymore.
My marriage comes before my career life and/or business. But career is not functioning at full potential right now.
My spouse is selfish, doesn’t care and I feel like our marriage will crash the very moment I stop putting in any effort.
As a communicator, I feel like my spouse is a poor communicator and it has led our marriage down this path.
I feel like I don’t have my own space when it comes to this marriage.
If my spouse and I get locked in a room with nothing to worry about, we will hump (have sex with) each other like rabbits for at least 15 minutes.
I am confident in my ability to save our marriage all by myself.
Our present decision making process as a couple does not involve or reflect my personal desires.
I tend to put my spouse’s desire above mine.
We have so many good times and memories in our time together and in our marriage.
I fantasize quite often about life without my spouse.
I treat my spouse like royalty.
We fight so much that I can’t fight no more.
I think my partner is a good person.
I try to help my spouse with constructive corrections.
I let go and forgive super-easily.
My spouse is very mean with words and it hurts like hell.
We have sex at least 2-3 times per week.
I get very sarcastic with my spouse so that my point cuts across when we argue or disagree.
I look forward to coming home to my spouse when I am out.
My partner rolls eyes indicating that what I have to say is garbage even before I say the first word.
I love myself more than I love my partner.
I am afraid of speaking my mind because I know it will get me no-where.
I have other friends I feel more emotionally connected to than my spouse.
My spouse and I still go out on dates.
My spouse is not happy unless he/she controls every situation and conversation.
My spouse thinks I over-react and is oblivious to the fact that we have serious issues.
My partner threatens me with divorce and use ultimatums to manipulate me.
I think I want divorce but I am scared of moving on despite the fact that I already gave up on talking because it only ends up in argument.
My partners utters rude remarks at every attempt to communicate.
My partner is very selfish and consistently complain about nothing.
On a scale of 1-10, my partner’s attraction level towards me is...
My partner is attached to me in a toxic way and I feel smothered.
I am no longer attracted to my partner and I am not sure if I want to save my marriage.
I have fallen out of love and I feel there is no hope because it isn’t fair to hold my partner hostage in a marriage without love.
I love my partner so much and I wonder why the marriage is suffering.
My partner puts the career life and/or business over our marriage.
I am selfish right now, could careless and I don’t feel like I have the strength to put in further effort in saving our marriage.
My partner is arrogant and acts like my parents and that has to lead our marriage down this toxic path.
My partner is asking for space.
If my spouse and I get locked in a room with nothing to worry about, we will not be comfortable looking at each other in the eyes because attraction is dried up.
I am not confident in my ability to save our marriage by myself.
Our present decision-making process as a couple involve or reflect my personal desires.
My partner always put personal desires above the greater good for both of us.
Our experience together in this marriage is full of toxic memories.
I think my partner is fantasizing quite often about life with someone else.
My partner treats me like royalty.
My partner is a snob.
I think my partner is a nobody without me.
My partner acts like a know-it-all.
I am not sure that I can forgive my partner... may be I can forgive but I will never forget.
Sometimes, I say things that I don’t necessarily mean out of anger to my partner.
We have sex at most once per month.
My partner get very sarcastic with me when we argue or disagree.
My partner look forward to coming home to me.
I can pretty much predict that my partner will only say nonsense to me even before a word is said.
My partner is afraid of speaking his/her mind and that gets us no-where.
My partner has other friends or family he/she is more emotionally connected to than me.
My spouse and I have not gone on a proper date in a while.
I am not happy because my partner’s ideas do not make sense and I can’t fix things the way I want them.
I think my partner over-reacts and when, in fact, our issues are no big deal... they are simply blown out of proportion.
After making enough effort with no rewards, I will have to file divorce because it makes no sense to be living like this
The ultimate marriage quiz is designed to help you identify where your marriage is presently;
..in terms of its chance to survive or crash.
As a matter of fact, your marriage has a 50% chance of surviving based on the statistics that we all know across different societies.
So the marriage quiz is an assessment that is quite necessary for most married people to take in order to assess health of their marriage.
The Problem with Marriages Today that this Marriage Quiz Addresses
While it is true that …
Marriage is an institution… Recognized around the world as a unit structure for family and society…
It presents unique sets of challenges for both husbands and wives even with a decent level of intelligence and knowledge.
The reason is that intelligence, semantics, dictionary meanings and common sense tend to have limitations
…around only things you can see, hear and smell.
In fact, your intelligence and “everything you believe in” will be tested…
And you will (at least initially) lose yourself at some point.
This One Factor is Responsible for 80% of the Energy that Creates a Healthy or Toxic Marriage.
When dealing with another human being such as your wife or husband, you are responsible (unfortunately) for how they “feel.”
Your partner may not express his or her feelings in a way that your eyes, ears and nose can perceive or sense.
You are still responsible simply because you (as an adult) made a choice to commit to them.
So the only solution when it comes to marriage is to master your partner from an emotional stand point.
But it starts with mastering your emotions as a reference point before you can even remotely come close…
To understanding another human being emotionally.
The 1st Marriage Quiz or Assessment that we Used!
At the 9 years mark, our marriage hit a wall and we had to do something about it; one person ran for the hills and the other shut off.
Pick up the book GET MY MARRIAGE BACK and read it 10-15 times to find out who ran away and how.
As you can imagine, none of these 2 strategies or temperament-show-out was the healthy choice.
But thank goodness, one of us found the way to the 5 love languages assessment which we found through the actual book.
And to say the least, it was an eye opener.
Who is this Marriage Quiz for?
This marriage quiz is designed for individuals to assess the health of his or her marriage.
And not necessarily to master the love language.
Because there is a good chance that you already feel like your marriage is in a bad place.
That’s what this intensive and comprehensive marriage quiz is all about.
It’s for marriages in potential crisis already and your first test is your patience level to complete the assessment.
Peep What People are Saying About the Ultimate Marriage Quiz
“I knew it was abnormal for me to cry to bed every night but I also felt tremendous guilt for feeling like I should throw my marriage away.” ~ Claire Moss
“This quiz was the starting point of the redemption of my marriage. It became extremely easy for me to heal and attract her back once I took the assessment. Good stuff.” ~ Jim Morales
“Wow. My instant results gave me so much clarity and insights that no one in my circle was able to help me identify. I needed this because frankly our marriage was drowning fast.” ~ Kendra Morrison
Success Stories & Testimonials
How to Use the Ultimate Marriage Quiz to Assess Your Marriage
The ultimate marriage quiz is absolutely free.
And it contains 70 questions for you to answer and/or acknowledge to the best of your knowledge of your situation.
But you can only see 7 questions per page; making the module a total of 10 interactive pages.
So as soon as you complete the last question on each page, it will automatically load the next 7 questions into the page.
The questions are mostly ‘agree/disagree’ type questions
…with 2 ‘scale of 1-10’ questions designed to be friendly and interactive.
Here is my Guarantee if you Use this Marriage Quiz to Assess the Health of your Relationship
There is no guarantee in life especially marriage even if you are a perfect person based on most people’s assessment.
So should you give it all up?
Of course not.
And that’s why we created this marriage quiz; it’s precisely…
Because we know that most people approach marriage with leaning on their own understanding and “righteousness”.
Why you would Skip the Quiz
The quiz could be skipped if,
You are in a perfect marriage or…
You are not in a perfect marriage but you haven’t felt enough pain that you can relate to your marriage.
Either way, it is understandable.
And we can just hope that you have the tools to handle the inevitable crisis and conflict that test all marriages.
The best way to find out is to pay attention to the question of LOLA & OLA’s ultimate marriage quiz.
We have create 70 questions to assess the health of your marriage.
It’s called the ultimate marriage quiz.
When you take LOLA & OLA’s ultimate marriage quiz to assess your marriage, you will extract some great insights about your spouse.
Should I Save My Marriage?
When considering whether or not to save a marriage, it is important to take into account both partners’ feelings and needs. It is important to consider whether both partners are willing to make the necessary changes to improve the relationship. If both partners are willing to work on the marriage, then it is worth considering saving it. It is also important to consider the possible consequences of not saving the marriage. If there are children involved, it is important to consider their best interests. If the marriage is no longer healthy, it may be best to end it. Ultimately, the decision to save a marriage should be made by both partners, taking into account their own feelings and needs.
8 signs a marriage cannot be saved
When a marriage is struggling, it can be difficult to know when it’s time to throw in the towel. There are certain signs that indicate a marriage cannot be saved, such as…
One or both partners having a complete lack of respect for each other,
A lack of communication, or
A lack of trust.
If one or both partners are unwilling to work on the marriage, that is also a sign that the marriage cannot be saved.
If the partners are unable to forgive each other, or
If they are unable to talk through their issues, then the marriage is likely beyond repair.
If one or both partners are having an affair, or
If they are using drugs or alcohol to cope with their problems, then the marriage is probably not salvageable.
These are all signs that a marriage cannot be saved, and it is important to recognize them in order to make the best decision for both partners.
Frequently Asked Question
Should I Save My Marriage?
When considering whether or not to save a marriage, it is important to take into account both partners’ feelings and needs. It is important to consider whether both partners are willing to make the necessary changes to improve the relationship. If both partners are willing to work on the marriage, then it is worth considering saving it. It is also important to consider the possible consequences of not saving the marriage. If there are children involved, it is important to consider their best interests. If the marriage is no longer healthy, it may be best to end it. Ultimately, the decision to save a marriage should be made by both partners, taking into account their own feelings and needs.
How do I know if my marriage is worth saving?
When considering whether or not a marriage is worth saving, it is important to look at the relationship objectively and honestly. It is important to consider if both partners are willing to put in the effort to make the marriage work and if the relationship is still fulfilling for both people. It is also important to consider if there are any underlying issues that need to be addressed, such as communication problems, trust issues, or infidelity. If both partners are willing to work on the issues and make the necessary changes, then the marriage may be worth saving. Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide if they are willing to put in the effort to save the marriage.
What are the first signs your marriage is over?
The first signs that a marriage may be over can be subtle and difficult to recognize. One of the most common signs is a lack of communication between the two partners. If communication has become strained and difficult, it can be a sign that the marriage is in trouble. Other signs can include a lack of intimacy, a lack of respect, and a lack of trust. If one or both partners feel that they are not being heard or that their needs are not being met, it can be a sign that the marriage is in trouble. If one or both partners are seeking comfort or attention outside of the marriage, this can also be a sign that the marriage is in trouble. If any of these signs are present, it is important to seek help from a professional to work through the issues and determine if the marriage can be saved.
How do you know when to call your marriage quits?
Deciding when to call it quits in a marriage is a difficult decision to make, and one that should not be taken lightly. It is important to consider all aspects of the marriage, including communication, respect, trust, and commitment. If any of these aspects are lacking, it can be a sign that the marriage is not working. Additionally, if there is a pattern of hurtful behavior or abuse, it is important to consider ending the marriage. If both partners are unable to work through their issues and find a way to move forward, it may be time to call it quits. Ultimately, it is important to remember that marriage is a commitment, and if it is no longer fulfilling that commitment, it may be time to make the difficult decision to end it.
Can I save my marriage?
Saving a marriage is no easy feat, but it is possible with dedication and hard work. It takes two people to make a marriage work, so both partners must be willing to put in the effort to make it successful. Communication is key to resolving any issues that may arise in a marriage, so it is important to be open and honest with your partner and to listen to their point of view. Additionally, it is important to focus on the positive aspects of the relationship and to be willing to forgive and move on from any disagreements. Finally, couples should seek professional help if needed, such as counseling or therapy, to help them work through any issues they may be facing. With dedication and commitment, it is possible to save a marriage and make it stronger than ever.
Is my marriage over?
The end of a marriage can be a difficult and emotional experience. When a couple decides that their marriage is over, it can be a heartbreaking and difficult decision to make. It is important to recognize that the end of a marriage is not necessarily the end of a relationship. Many couples who decide to end their marriage are still able to maintain a positive relationship with each other, even if it is not a romantic one. It is important to remember that the end of a marriage does not mean the end of love or respect for the other person. With patience, understanding, and communication, it is possible to maintain a healthy relationship after the end of a marriage.
Is my marriage worth saving?
When a marriage is in trouble, it can be difficult to decide whether it is worth saving or not. It is important to consider both the emotional and financial costs of staying together and the potential benefits of staying together. If both partners are committed to making the relationship work and are willing to put in the effort to make it succeed, then it is definitely worth saving. It is important to communicate openly and honestly with each other and to seek professional help if needed. With the right attitude and dedication, a marriage can be saved and both partners can find happiness and fulfillment in the relationship.
Should I take a marriage problem quiz?
Taking a marriage problem quiz can be a great way to assess the health of your relationship. It can help you to identify any potential issues that you and your partner may be facing, and it can provide you with insight into how you can work together to improve your relationship. The quiz typically consists of a series of questions that ask about communication, trust, and other aspects of your relationship. By answering these questions honestly, you can gain valuable insight into the issues that are causing tension in your marriage and how to address them. Taking a marriage problem quiz can be a great first step in improving your relationship and ensuring that it remains strong for years to come.
A marriage quiz can be a great tool for couples to use to assess their relationship and identify areas that may need improvement. It typically consists of a series of questions that ask about communication, conflict resolution, financial management, and other areas that are important for a successful marriage. The answers to the questions can help couples gain insight into their relationship, identify areas of strength and weakness, and come up with ways to improve their marriage. Taking a marriage quiz can be a great way for couples to get an honest assessment of their relationship and work together to make it stronger.
Should I leave my husband for another man?
Making the decision to leave a husband for another man is a difficult and complex one. It is important to consider all of the potential consequences of such a decision before taking any action. It is important to consider the impact on family and friends, as well as any legal and financial implications. It is also important to consider the impact on the other man, as well as the impact on the husband. It is important to weigh the pros and cons of the situation and to make sure that the decision is made for the right reasons. Ultimately, the decision to leave a husband for another man is a deeply personal one, and it is important to take the time to consider all of the potential outcomes before making a final decision.
And Here is a free audio book on how we used attraction secrets to break the chains of sexless-ness in our marriage.
Some studies have revealed that about 15-20% of married couples live in the sexually frustrated marriage.
This reality can create a hostile environment where one or both will find themselves living a dangerous life.
It could manifest mentally or….
One or both could start seeking satisfaction from multiple partners which can create exposure to diseases and many other things.
So it is very important to scroll to the top…
And use the 2 minutes sexless marriage quiz too find out if your present arrangement is considered a sexless marriage.
If you let it linger, it can last forever and that’s just how low of a quality lifestyle you will have to endure.
The truth is that there is science, and of course an art, to why you may be going to the drought in your marriage.
That is to say there is a solution even if the underlying issues are medical related.
But you don’t know what you don’t know and can’t fix it until to know.
There is nothing better than finding yourself in a marriage where you feel sexually satisfied…
And are also authentically happy to stay faithful.
Even if there is a slow down, you know exactly what to do to spice things up either as a man or a woman.
That is an empowered marriage.
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