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INFIDELITY: Woman SET HUSBAND ON FIRE for Cheating! (When will MEN learn?)

First of all, this is a stupid question.  

According to Punch News, the man was deleted by his wife who set him ablaze after a conflict.

A family member of the victim said that the woman locked her husband up and set the house on fire over suspicion of an extra-marital affair.

That’s the story and particularly that’s all I need to know about the story.  The part where a whole human life was deleted.

Until… of course… internet trolls started running their mouths carelessly.

By the way… 

A quick shout out to my sister Bridget of Obodo Oyinbo TV where I was allowed to be a guest to discuss my personal observations and opinion of whether Red Pill-ed men are husband material or not.

I didn’t go there as an expert.  I went there as an observer of the red pill community with a personal opinion but also as a man who is blessed with results that many men desire.

To say the least, it was interesting.  Just go ahead and search for “Obodo Oyinbo TV” on YouTube and support her.  She is an extremely generous supporter of our platforms.

Back to this infidelity slash cheating slash human deletion story.  Crazy right?

I personally heard a significant number of women saying he deserved to be roasted  because he cheated on his lady. 

Can you imagine a person who talks like this creating any good romantic experience for themselves and others in this life?

Answer me in the comment area below….

Some men said women should prepare for the fact that all men will cheat.  Is that the solution to preventing these types of stories between lovers?

What exactly is the solution here without pretending that we don’t know that these people were once romantic lovers?

Most people having these conversations online continue to talk from their ass because they never acknowledge that these are or were romantic relationships where they never planned to end up in a terrible predicament.

They also never acknowledge how they could personally relate with these stories.  

I will be forced to wonder if you are a coward even if you are right that the internet is not a safe space to speak your mind.

What is it about infidelity and cheating that will make you say stupid things that doesn’t serve you or anyone listening?

To be clear again, that question “When will men learn?” is a stupid question.

Any question designed to ignite the epidemic of the digital gender war with or without good intentions and from men or women is a stupid question.

Gentlemen, endless subtle competition with women will always put you at a disadvantage.

Arguing with women with respect to romantic matters puts you below women; not equal but below.

I understand the over-reactive rhetoric against fake feminism a.k.a toxicity, but just like in a real life relationship, over-reaction are actions you are responsible for.

And like I said, it puts you at a disadvantage.

Gentlemen, you are indirectly subscribing to equality in romance, relationships and marriage when you engage endless arguments with women.  

It doesn’t work particularly because it discounts the complimentary strength in romantic relationships significantly.

How do you compliment each other if you are equal?  That already sounds stupid right?

It is true.  Two things can be true at the same time.  But I am looking at this from a place of mindset abundance and/or scarcity.  It’s just a question to ask yourself.

Here is an example of statements that tells me that you as a man will think of yourself as equal to your woman and effectively become a loser that she will potentially dump.  

And I quote…

“If you are going to judge a man based on his gender, you as a woman should expect the same thing from the men.”

Let me guess.  This is accountability right?  False.  

losing respect

This is just a man who talks too damn much.  This is a man who has already lost respect hence the cry out in the wrong direction for help.

I get it… Anyone, including women, could find that statement to be reasonable and harmless.  But it is harmful to your mindset.  

It is even more harmful for a man who talks like this from a place of ignorance, lack of experience and good intentions.

Good intentions are overrated.  

You need wisdom and humility because your lens, filters and outlook on life have dangerous limitations especially when it comes to romantic relationships and marriage.

Oh… it’s even worse if you are listening to Pick-Me women influencers encouraging you to hold your ground as a “MASCULINE STOIC” man.  It’s a set up.  That’s weak.

If you don’t believe me, marry one of them and I’m patient to discuss the outcome.

Masculinity with respect to romance and the human experience is rarely physical.  It’s energy.  Invisible energy for the most part.  And again, it’s not the woman’s responsibility to know that.

Let’s get back to the story.

The question “When will MEN learn?” was designed to leverage this terrible human deletion story to shame men who still believe in the family structure by way of the marriage institution into perpetual fear of women.

The shame is mostly coming from both men and women who have had terrible and traumatic experiences in romantic relationships.  

It’s “misery love company” syndrome at best.

I am sorry.  There are stupid questions.  

The outcome of asking such questions only perpetuates toxic rhetoric for those who may not be necessarily toxic but have real questions about love, relationships, marriage, cheating, infidelity etc.

Why is the question not… 

“When will we as humans learn better ways of navigating romantic relationships that we obviously want, evident by our action not by the product of intellectual diarrhea on social media?

This story is not as relevant to poly or monogamy practice as much as we are making it.  Those are practices by choice and not cowardice.  

It’s also not as relevant to infidelity, cheating or any other obvious bad habits or behavior as they are making it.

Humans have bad behavior.  Where is the surprise?  

Also why did what I just said sound like encouraging bad behavior to you? If that’s you, answer me in the comment area… but more importantly, answer the person in the mirror.

As for this story, that woman committed a capital crime.  What leads to it is irrelevant once we start talking about a matter of life and life deletion.

This woman, sadly like many people walking around, was probably a watermelon mentally… green on the outside and red inside.  

People are carrying a lot of toxic mental weight so you can agree that we should be aware that we can potentially offend the wrong people.  

That does not give anyone the right to delete another person’s life.  It just makes sense to be aware.

For you and I, it’s about knowing that anger is temporary insanity and you can create irreversible damages or at least self-sabotage.  

This is about mental health; not for the criminal (it’s too late for her) but for you and I.

As I was saying earlier, I heard men telling women to prepare for the fact that all men will cheat.

As a man, preparing women to enter marriage with the expectation that a man will cheat puts you at a much bigger disadvantage than just the effect of cheating; your bad behavior.  

Can’t you see?

She may be weak enough to enter that marriage in spite of the warning but she will be on the edge in the marriage… 

What enjoyment do you expect in a marriage where your woman is always on the edge, never feels safe and secure around you?

Instead of worrying about the nature or nurture of cheating and infidelity, you are better off putting that energy in preparing to create a safe space especially emotionally for your wife.

Ladies.. Yes we like to feel safe too.

Would You Tolerate A Cheater?

Would You Tolerate A Cheater?

I know that most people that spend a lot of time on conversations for or against cheating and infidelity are not cheaters; at least not chronic perpetual cheaters.

So at best, you are self sabotaging, talking so much about how you will never accept it or how you plan to tell women that you will cheat.  

By the way, when you tell her up front, that’s no longer considered cheating.

Your mouth will create an emotionally unsafe environment for your future marriage to thrive.

What I found interesting but not surprising during the whole discussion was the fact that no one talked about the emotional, psychological and mental state that could have created the story.

There was no shortage of empathy, sympathy, proclamation of what people will NEVER accept even though there is an obvious lack of experience to accurately assess that.

There was useless advice on what type of man and woman to run away from.  The problem is that these things are not written on the forehead.

A Major Reason Why Marriages Are Failing.

Failing Marriage

Most people entering marriage are not preparing for the inevitable crisis and conflict that will hit every marriage; and single life.

That’s even if you think the solution is to avoid marriage and long term relationships.

If you are going to still have sex, you will end up in the courts and become another traumatic cancer for the society.

By the way, they are conflicts because they often come from blind spots.  

If you say you will never accept a cheater, congrats.  That problem is solved.  The devil, however, knows not to come for you from a cheating standpoint.

Anyway, Instead of the typical nonsense from long-stroking influencers who are just in this to make money, I want to encourage you to prepare to maintain a healthy mental stability for the rest of your life. 

I want you to know that anyone is capable of losing their mind… particularly mentally… and especially people who tend to be obsessed with ideologies, faith, culture, religion with no wisdom around application and relationships.

You cannot control other people.  Stop trying.  You can only control yourself and then subsequently or hopefully influence the results you are looking for in life.

I don’t think a normal person will literally roast another person. I don’t think another human is capable of making another human commit such an act either. 

However we are all influencing ourselves directly and indirectly.  I think she became crazy, lost her mind and committed a capital crime.

For her, everything before the crime doesn’t matter.  She is done in this society.

Learn how to leave a toxic relationship before your tipping point is obvious… leave first… it doesn’t have to be a permanent decision.

If you can’t leave because of fear… that’s obviously a bigger problem; lack of self-respect, self-love, self-esteem, self-confidence.

Stop pouring from an empty cup.

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Stages of Divorce Grief

What are the Stages of Divorce Grief?

The stages of divorce grief are similar to the stages of grief that occur when someone dies.

The stages are shock and disbelief, pain and sorrow, anger and resentment, bargaining and guilt, and acceptance and hope. The order in which the stages occur may vary from person to person.

Some people may skip some of the stages or move through them more quickly than others.

It is important to allow yourself to grieve the loss of your marriage and not try to rush through the process.

1. Shock and disbelief: This is often the first stage after learning that your divorce is final. You may feel numb, have difficulty processing what has happened, and experience many other emotions, including sadness, anger, fear, and relief.

2. Pain and sorrow: As the reality of your divorce sets in, you will likely experience deep feelings of loss and grief.

You may find yourself crying often, feeling depressed, and struggling to cope with the changes in your life.

3. Anger and resentment: It is common to feel a range of negative emotions during this stage, including anger, bitterness, resentment, and frustration. You may lash out at your former spouse, friends, and family members.

4. Bargaining and guilt: During this stage, you may find yourself trying to negotiate with your former spouse or hoping for a reconciliation. You may also feel guilty about the divorce and blame yourself for the situation.

5. Acceptance and hope: In this final stage, you accept that the divorce is final and begin to move on with your life.

You may still feel sad and miss your former spouse, but you are able to start rebuilding your life. You may also feel hopeful about the future and find new meaning in your life.

Tips on Coping with Separation and Divorce

1. Recognize That Your Marriage Is Over: This can be difficult to accept, but it is an important step in the grieving process. Once you come to terms with the fact that your marriage is over, you can begin to move on.

2. Be Patient — Grief Takes Time: The stages of grief do not always happen in a linear fashion. You may move back and forth between stages or even skip some altogether.

3. Surround Yourself With People Who Support You — And Let Them Help: It can be helpful to talk to friends and family members who have gone through a divorce. They can offer guidance and support.

4. Practice Excellent Self-Care: During this difficult time, it is important to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Make sure to eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly.

5. Feel Your Feelings: It is normal to feel a range of emotions after your divorce. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of your marriage.

6. Find Out What’s There Besides Anger, Sadness, And Fear: As you move through the grieving process, you may find that you have new insights about yourself and your life. Allow yourself to explore these new perspectives.

7. Timebox Your Grief: Set aside specific times each day to grieve the loss of your marriage. This can help you to avoid becoming overwhelmed by your emotions.

8. Don’t Hide Your Divorce Grief From Your Kids (But Don’t Freak Them Out, Either)

It is important, to be honest with your children about your divorce. However, you should avoid sharing too much information or putting them in the middle of the situation.

9. Write It Out, Work It Out, Or Just plain Talk It Out: Journaling, therapy, and talking to friends and family members can all be helpful ways to cope with your divorce.

10. Stop Blaming Your Ex and Start Forgiving Them (and Yourself) One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to let go of any resentment and blame you may feel. This can be difficult, but it is an essential part of healing.

11. Remember: You Will Still Be a Part of Your Kid’s Life Even After Divorce Although your family may be changing, you will still be an important part of your children’s lives. Try to maintain a positive relationship with your former spouse for the sake of your kids.

12. Consider Professional Help Many people find it helpful to seek out professional help during the divorce process. A therapist can provide support and guidance as you navigate this difficult time.

If you are facing divorce, it is important to understand the grieving process. By recognizing the stages of grief, you can better prepare yourself for the journey ahead.

Remember, every divorce is unique and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. If you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to seek out professional help. With time and patience, you will eventually reach the acceptance and hope stage.

Don’t Suppress Your Feelings While Grieving

Everyone is different and everyone can experience each one of these stages very differently. Allowing yourself the freedom to grieve during a divorce doesn’t make you weak.  In fact, it can actually make you stronger. If you try to bottle up your emotions, they may eventually come out in destructive ways. It’s okay to cry, be angry, and feel sad. These are all normal reactions to loss.

Divorce is a process, not an event. Just as there is no one right way to grieve the death of a loved one, there is no one right way to grieve the loss of a marriage. Allow yourself the time and space to experience all the emotions that come with this major life change. Seek out support from friends and family members, or consider professional help if you need it. With time and patience, you will eventually reach the acceptance and hope stage.

Coping With the Hard Feelings

Coping with grief during a divorce is exceedingly difficult. Feeling all the emotions mentioned in each stage during the process of divorce is common and necessary for moving forward. It is important to surround yourself with people that love you and support you to help you through this painful time. If you are feeling lost, consider professional counseling to help you regain a sense of self and hope for the future.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Signs That Your Husband is Cheating

Ladies, few things in life feel worse than the nagging suspicion that your husband is cheating on you………other than to find out that’s actually the case.

There are a ton of little telltale signs that you may be able to spot that will start your womanly radar ticking.

Some of your man’s actions may end up being innocent enough, but at other times, where there’s smoke, there could be infidelity fire.

Cheating can be in the mind only, purely emotional, or physical, or a combination of all three.

Just like every marriage is different, so too is every case of cheating.

We won’t quote statistics, but studies show that a lot of men (and women for that matter) do contemplate cheating in some way at some point. It’s one way to explain why the nation’s divorce rate currently hovers at around 50 percent.

So, no matter what your degree of suspicion is when it comes to your husband and what’s in his mind, there are a number of things to keep an eye out for.

Don’t take them as gospel by themselves that cheating is going on, but if you see a lot of what follows in your marriage, it may be time for the “we need to talk” intervention.

Frustration in the marriage is one common trigger; the cheater may make several attempts to solve problems to no avail.

Maybe they had second thoughts about getting married or they were jealous over the attention given to a new baby and neither had the skill set to communicate these feelings.

Perhaps the straying spouse has childhood baggage — neglect, abuse, or a parent who cheated — that interferes with his or her ability to maintain a committed relationship.

Less often, the cheater doesn’t value monogamy, lacks empathy, or simply doesn’t care about the consequences.

We will take a look at a number of risk factors and causes for cheating, but it’s important to point out upfront that a partner doesn’t cause their spouse to cheat. Whether it was a cry for help, an exit strategy, or a means to get revenge after being cheated on themselves, the cheater alone is responsible for cheating.

1. He’s suddenly very interested in his appearance.

If your husband was previously indifferent to his appearance and is now spending more time than usual on his hair and clothes, it could be a sign that he’s trying to impress someone else.

He may also be working out more, or paying more attention to his grooming habits in general.

2. He’s working longer hours or taking more business trips.

If your husband’s work schedule has suddenly changed and he’s spending more time at the office or going on more business trips, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be using work as an excuse to meet someone else or to spend time away from home.

3. He’s become more distant and withdrawn.

If your husband is suddenly acting distant and withdrawn, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be less interested in talking to you or spending time with you. He may also seem preoccupied and distracted when you are together.

he’s cheating. He may be buying gifts for someone else, or he may be paying for activities that he wouldn’t normally spend money on.

4. He’s being secretive and evasive.

If your husband is being secretive and evasive, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be hiding his phone or computer from you, or deleting texts and emails without reading them.

He may also be reluctant to share information about his whereabouts or who he’s been spending time with.

5. He’s got a new group of friends.

If your husband has suddenly started hanging out with a new group of friends, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be spending more time with them than with you, or he may be secretive about who they are and what they do together.

6. He’s acting differently around you.

If your husband is acting differently around you, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be more critical of you, or he may be more distant and withdrawn.

He may also seem more interested in sex, or he may be less interested in sex.

7. He’s spending more money than usual.

If your husband is spending more money than usual, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.

He may be buying gifts for someone else, or he may be paying for activities that he wouldn’t normally spend money on.

8. What are those charges on the credit card?

If you monitor your monthly credit card statements and you start to see things pop up that you don’t recognize, they may be harmless, or they could be signs of monkey business that’s afoot.

If you can’t match up the expense with the story, that’s a problem. Also, if he’s now paying in cash for things that used to be charged, that’s a money monkey business concern as well.

9. He wants you to stop doing nice things for him.

Sometimes known as the Catholic guilt syndrome. If you’re being kind and considerate, as relationships should be, it could be revving up the conflict in him if he’s thinking about cheating or already doing so.

10. Cheat on me once, shame on you. Cheat on me twice, shame on me.

A spouse who has cheated in the past and gotten caught is more likely to think they can get away by doing a better job of cheating the second time around. If your spouse has a history of cheating, and you suspect cheating is happening again, it may be time to make that spouse a part of your history instead.

Why Do Husbands Cheat?

There are a lot of reasons that husbands cheat on their wives. Sometimes it has to do with the husband’s own insecurities or feeling like he isn’t good enough for his wife.

Sometimes cheating is a way to get revenge after an argument or disagreement. And sometimes, husbands cheat simply because they’re curious or they want to experience something new.

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Rules of No Contact

What is the No Contact Rule?

The No Contact Rule is a commonly recommended solution to various problems in the immediate aftermath of a breakup. This is a time when emotions can run high and fluctuate wildly, so it is often a good time for some distance between you and your ex. This can help you take some time to think about what it is you really want.

The rule is commonly set at 30 days, although it can be shorter in some cases or even go on permanently in others. During this time, ex-partners may avoid all forms of contact, whether face-to-face or over the phone, text, or social media. Some couples may even block each other on social media sites.

The specific rules can vary among different people, but the key feature is limiting communication.

How To Start No Contact?

If you have been contacting your ex regularly since the breakup, the best way to start no contact is to just stop contacting them.

If your ex has been initiating contact with you on and off, you should let them know that you intend to take some space from them and that you want them to stop contacting you for a while. You should be honest about why you are doing this, that is, to help you heal from the breakup and get some perspective.

The signs that the No Contact Rule is working might be confusing. You are unlikely to see all of these signs, but more than one or two may well signal that things are working out the way you would like.

1. You get a text from your ex

Of course, if you suddenly get a text from your ex, he has clearly been thinking about you for some reason. If he says that he is missing you, you can be sure that the No Contact Rule has worked. However, it is more likely that if your ex reaches out to you, the reasons will be less obvious.

If he asks you vaguely, “how are you doing?” he may be checking up to see if you are okay, or he may be trying to test the water with a general conversation. Either way, he is probably aware that breaking the No Contact Rule may signal that he thinks about you. Your ex-boyfriend clearly feels that contacting you is still important enough to be worth doing.

2. Your ex posts about you on social media

If your ex-boyfriend posts about you on social media, it can be a sign that he is thinking about you. This can take the form of a comment on one of your posts, or even just a “like” on something you have put up.

It can also be a sign that he is trying to get your attention by posting something that he knows you will see. This might be a photo of the two of you together, or even just a status update about something that you have in common.

3. Your ex talks about you to mutual friends

If your ex-boyfriend is talking about you to your mutual friends, this can be a sign that he is thinking about you. He may be sharing things in order to get them off of his chest, or perhaps he does not want to keep this relationship secret from the people who already know you both.

If your ex-boyfriend talks about your breakup with other people, it can be a sign that he is not over you yet. He may be hoping for sympathy from others, or he could even be trying to make you jealous by talking about other women.

4. Your ex-boyfriend stares at you

If your ex-boyfriend stares at you, this can be a sign that he is still thinking about you. It may be that he is a little obsessed with you and simply can’t take his eyes off of you.

However, it is also possible that your ex-boyfriend is simply trying to figure out if there is any chance that you might still be interested in getting back together. If your ex feels like he has missed an opportunity, or if he is simply not ready to let go of this relationship, then a lingering stare may be the sign that you need.

5. Your ex-boyfriend asks mutual friends about you

If your ex-boyfriend asks mutual friends about you, it can be a sign that he is thinking about you and wants to know how things’ are going. This may be a sign that he is trying to keep tabs on you, or it could mean that he simply wants some kind of connection with you.

There are many possible reasons why your ex-boyfriend might ask mutual friends about you, so it is important not to jump to conclusions too quickly. However, if this seems like a pattern, it may be a sign that he is not ready to move on just yet.

6. Your ex-boyfriend tries to make you jealous

If your ex-boyfriend tries to make you jealous, it could be a sign that he is still thinking about you. He may be trying to get your attention by flirting with other women, or he could be trying to make you see that he is still attractive and desirable.

Your ex-boyfriend may also be trying to make you jealous in order to get a reaction out of you. If he is hoping that you will get angry or upset, it can be a sign that he is not over you yet.

7. Your ex-boyfriend sends you a DM

If your ex-boyfriend sends you a message on social media, it can be a sign that he is thinking about you. He may simply want to get in touch to chat and catch up, or he could be trying to gauge your feelings by asking if you would like to meet up.

This could also be a sign that your ex-boyfriend is trying to start a conversation with you in order to see if there is any chance of getting back together. If he is asking about your life and how you are doing, it may be a sign that he still cares about you.

8. Your ex-boyfriend likes your posts

If your ex-boyfriend likes your posts on social media, it can be a sign that he is still thinking about you. He may be interested in what you are doing and how you are feeling, or he could simply be trying to get your attention.

Liking your posts can also be a way for your ex-boyfriend to start a conversation with you. If he leaves a comment on one of your posts, it may be a sign that he wants to talk to you.

9. Your ex-boyfriend texts you

If your ex-boyfriend texts you, it can be a sign that he is thinking about you. He may simply want to talk to you and catch up, or he may be interested in getting back together.

Texting can also be a way for your ex-boyfriend to gauge your feelings. If he is asking how you are doing and what you have been up to, it may be a sign that he still cares about you.

10. Your ex-boyfriend calls you

If your ex-boyfriend calls you, it can be a sign that he is thinking about you. He may want to talk to you and catch up, or he may be interested in getting back together.

Calling can also be a way for your ex-boyfriend to gauge your feelings. If he is asking how you are doing and what you have been up to, it may be a sign that he still cares about you.

Benefits of Using the No Contact Rule

1. The No Contact Rule can help you take a step back and gain some much-needed perspective. During this time, you can focus on yourself and your own well-being, instead of obsessing over your ex-boyfriend.

2. The No Contact Rule gives you some space to reflect on the relationship and why it ended. This can help you gain a better understanding of the issues that may have led to the breakup, and it can help you work through any negative emotions or lingering doubts.

3. The No Contact Rule gives your ex-boyfriend time to reflect on the relationship as well. This can be a good thing because it gives him a chance to miss you and realize that he wants to get back together.

4. The No Contact Rule can help you avoid any further drama or conflict with your ex-boyfriend. If you are constantly arguing or fighting, it can be very difficult to move on and ell. By taking some space, he may be able to cultivate a more positive attitude towards you.

5. The No Contact Rule can help you focus on your own happiness. This is a time to focus on yourself and your own needs, without worrying about your ex-boyfriend. By taking care of yourself, you will be in a better place emotionally and mentally, which can make it easier to get over your ex and move on with your life. Ultimately, the benefits of the No Contact Rule are many, and it can be a powerful tool for anyone going through a breakup. If you are thinking about trying this strategy yourself, just remember to stay positive and stay focused on your own needs.

What is self-respect?

Self-respect is the ability to value and treat yourself with dignity and respect. It involves having a positive view of yourself and trusting in your abilities, as well as honoring your own needs and desires. Other aspects of self-respect include respecting others, standing up for yourself, speaking your mind, and taking care of yourself physically and emotionally.

Tips to develop and show self-respect

1. Develop a positive view of yourself

One of the most important things you can do for your self-respect is to develop a positive view of yourself. This means believing in your own abilities and trusting that you are capable of achieving your goals. It also involves accepting yourself for who you are, flaws and all. If you have trouble developing a positive view of yourself, try spending some time each day doing things that make you feel good about yourself, such as practicing self-care, working on a passion project, or spending time with loved ones.

2. Speak your mind and stand up for yourself

Another key aspect of self-respect is being willing to speak your mind and stand up for yourself. This means having the confidence to share your opinions and beliefs, even if they are different from others. It also means knowing when to say “no” and setting boundaries with others. If you find it difficult to speak up for yourself, try practicing in less challenging situations first, such as with friends or family members. Once you feel more confident, you can start speaking up in more difficult situations.

3. Honor your needs and desires

In order to show self-respect, it is important to honor your own needs and desires. This means listening to your gut instinct and following your heart, even if it means going against the grain. It also involves being kind to yourself and prioritizing your well-being, both physically and emotionally.

4. Take care of yourself physically and emotionally

In addition to honoring your needs and desires, it is essential to take good care of yourself on a physical and emotional level. This means eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep each night, taking time for relaxation and hobbies, and seeking professional help if you are struggling with your mental health.

5. Respect others

Finally, showing self-respect also involves respecting others. This means treating others with kindness and consideration, even if you don’t agree with them. It also includes being open-minded and listening to others’ perspectives, even if they are different from your own. By developing and showing self-respect, you can cultivate healthier relationships with others and a more positive view of yourself.

Conclusion

The No Contact Rule is a commonly recommended strategy for dealing with various relationship challenges.

This can help you take some time to reflect on your feelings and priorities and decide if you really want to get back together with your ex-boyfriend.

However, if you do decide to reach out to your ex, it is important to be honest, patient, and understanding.

This may help you rebuild trust and restore your relationship over time, but there is no guarantee that this will happen. Ultimately, whether or not the No Contact Rule is right for you depends on a number of different factors, including the reasons for your breakup, how long it has been since the split, and what you are hoping to achieve by getting back together.

There is no definite answer to this question, as the success of a relationship after no contact depends on a number of different factors. These can include how long it has been since the breakup, what led to the split in the first place, and what each partner hopes to achieve by getting back together. However, if you feel like no contact is the right strategy for you, it may help you to work through some of the challenges in your relationship and to improve your chances of getting back together with your ex-boyfriend.

Breaking the no contact rule can have negative consequences for your relationship, such as making it harder to rebuild trust and restore your connection with your ex-boyfriend. However, if you do break this rule unintentionally or by accident, there is no need to worry. Simply take some time to reflect on what happened and try to avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future.

The decision to text your ex-boyfriend first after no contact is a personal one, and there is no right or wrong answer. Ultimately, it depends on factors such as how long it has been since the breakup, what led to the split in the first place, and what you are hoping to achieve by getting back together.

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How To Fix A Broken Relationship ~ 19 Things You Must Know

In this article, we will discuss how to fix a broken relationship even if it’s within a marriage.

May be you feel like all hope is lost… relax…. read this first.

Why Do Relationships Break Or Fail?

There are many reasons why relationships fall apart.

  • It could be that you and your partner have grown apart over time and now have different interests, goals, and values.
  • It could be that you’re unable to resolve conflict in a healthy way, or that one or both of you tend to withdraw or shut down when things get tough.
  • It could be that you have different ideas about how to handle finances, child-rearing, or other important life decisions.

Whatever the reason is, if you find yourself in a failing or broken relationship, it’s important to be intentional with your actions or lack there of.

Otherwise, the situation is likely to only get worse.

The simple truth is that we are humans.

We’re complicated.

And relationships between complicated humans are even MORE complicated.

#1. Trust Has Left The Building

The cement of your relationship is Trust. without it, your relationship will fail.

Trust issues are very common.

Trust issues usually start in our childhood.

We learn them in our families.

And then we bring them into our relationships.

When we stop trusting ourselves, we stopped trusting others.

And when we stop trusting others, we stop trusting ourselves.

Trust is a two-way street.

Some of the bad things that happen when you lose trust are:

  1. Infidelity
  2. Jealousy
  3. Anxious behavior
  4. Smothering
  5. Insecurities

And a whole lot more.

The first thing you need to do is to figure out whether your trust issues are because your partner is not trust-able

…OR these are anxiety and insecurity issues inside of you.

Then you have to work on getting reconnected to your partner.

I’ll tell you more about how to do that in a bit.

#2. Your Communication Sucks

This is another one of those very common reasons relationships start to fall apart.

If you’re not communicating well, then you’re not going to be able to meet each other’s needs.

You’re always going to have misunderstandings and a deep breakdown of connection.

Communication is one of the most important factors in a relationship because it’s how you navigate with your partner

If your communication isn’t in sync and compatible, you will definitely have problems.

And eventually, you will turn to a therapist or counselor to help you with them.

But chances are it will be too late.

Make sure you’re always working on your communication.

Not just with your romantic partner, but with everyone in your life.

#3. You are on different maps/timetables

Sometimes it just happens that we are on different time schedules, or in different places in our life.

The timing is just wrong.

It can be hard to see this when you want a relationship to work.

But sometimes the situation is out of your control and you just need to walk away.

And sometimes you meet in the same place but you’re going at different speeds.

So you fall out of step with each other.

He might be going slower, and you might be moving faster towards your relationship goals.

You have to decide for yourself if you’re willing and patient enough to go at your partner’s speed.

Sometimes this means you have different priorities at the moment.

You may want to start a family, but he wants to start a business.

This will be something you must navigate and negotiate along the way if you want it to work.

#4. You’re just not a match

Very frequently, I see couples that get together and start a relationship.

But they didn’t ever stop to really make sure the other person was right for them.

One or both of them was just desperate to get into a relationship as fast as they could.

So they threw their needs out the window and ignored how wrong this person was for them.

They might have been seeking relief from anxiety, or from loneliness. But for whatever reason, they didn’t choose well.

If each person in a relationship is completely healthy, then they could probably start a relationship with almost anybody.

But compatibility is a huge issue if you are not in a whole and healthy place with your own self-esteem and self-worth.

One of the biggest love myths out there is that love conquers everything.

The good news is, that there are relationship advice that you can execute to repair the damage.

fixing a broken relationship

#1. Talk about what’s going on

The first step is to talk about what’s wrong.

You need to express your feelings and needs in a way that is respectful and non-blaming.

If you can’t do that, I recommends seeing a therapist or counselor who can help you learn how to communicate effectively.

#2. Make time for each other

One of the biggest reasons relationships fail is because couples don’t make time for each other.

Life gets busy and before you know it, you’re living parallel lives under the same roof.

You need to make time for each other—time to talk, time to connect.

#3. Be willing to compromise

In any relationship, there are going to be times when you have to compromise.

You might not always get your way, but that’s OK.

The important thing is that you’re both willing to give a little.

#4. Learn to forgive

If you want your relationship to thrive, you need to learn to forgive.

We all make mistakes—we’re only human.

The key is to not hold onto the anger and resentment.

If you can learn to let go, it will do wonders for your relationship.

#5. Don’t take each other for granted

One of the easiest ways to kill a relationship is to take your partner for granted.

We all need to feel valued and appreciated.

If you stop doing the things that made your partner fall in love with you in the first place, don’t be surprised if they start to look elsewhere.

#6. Keep the romance alive

Another common mistake couples make is letting the romance die.

It’s important to keep the spark alive.

Do the things you used to do when you were first dating—go on dates, have fun together, show each other how much you care.

#7. Work as a team

In any relationship, it’s important to remember that you’re on the same team.

You’re in this together, so you need to work together to make it work.

That means being supportive, understanding, and helpful—even when you don’t feel like it.

#8. Don’t try to change each other

One of the biggest mistakes couples make is trying to change each other all in the name of duty and responsibility forgetting that it is a romantic relationship at the end of the day.

You need to accept each other—flaws and all.

If you can learn to love and accept each other just as you are, it will do wonders for your relationship.

#9. Communicate, communicate, communicate

If there’s one piece of advice that experts agree on, it’s that communication is key to a successful relationship… to put more accurately… EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION.

You need to be able to talk to each other—about everything.

The more you communicate, the closer you’ll become .

#10. Develop Listening Skills

It is impossible to avoid arguments in any relationship. 

And in those moments, it is equally impossible to prevent different perspectives of understanding right and wrong and ways of solving problems. 

In such circumstances, there is no limit on what is required to be said and heard by both parties, which is necessary.

Because sometimes, or most of the time, the conversation becomes so fierce that the very limit of speaking is violated.

Due to a lack of listening ability, you take some such steps in anger which directly damages the relationship. 

#11. Accepting the Circumstances and Your Partner

Circumstances can never be right and wrong in relationships.

Didn’t you see people coming together in bad times?

Haven’t you noticed people make or break in bad times? 

If you look at history, you will find hundreds of examples where people came together in worse conditions, whether WWI or WWII.

Whether it’s raising a voice against racism or sexism.

People always came together to face the storm and grow out of them. 

It is all up to our belief whether we can adapt to the circumstances or not. 

We should always learn from bad times and always make good use of good times.

That’s the key to getting along with your partner.

#12. The Initiative Is Crucial to Overcome Relationship Struggles

Whether your relationship is on the verge of breaking or you are going through many troubles, if you want to stay with your partner and feel that everything will be right after a while, then the initiative you take to repair your relationship is always proven effective. 

After a big fight, if you take the initiative and make your partner feel that they are more important than your needs, then believe that your initiative is commendable enough to strengthen your relationship.

The initiative will always be needed to keep the relationship successful and constantly fresh; a good initiative always brings closeness.

#13. Apologize To Restore the Relationship

One of the hallmarks of a bad relationship is that both sides see apologizing as their weakness, due to which they feel hesitant to apologize even if they want.

According to the study, ‘The Psychology of offering an Apology by Karina Schumann it’s proposed that the reasons why people hesitate to offer an apology or high-quality apologies are,

  1. Low concern for the victim or relationship,
  2. The perceived threat to self-image,
  3. And perceived apology ineffectiveness.

But, if you want to fix your relationship, you must rise above these barriers.

Because if you don’t, what you do is end the 1% scope of repairing a broken relationship. 

To cherish any relationship, it is as essential to apologize as to give forgiveness; it is precisely the same as washing and drying cloth.

Here, both water and sunlight make the cloth wearable.

Similarly, both apologizing and offering forgiveness make the relationship believable.

But be sure to be clear on why you are apologizing and ensure you’ve taken enough time to assess what went wrong; be intentional.

#14. Understand Your Moral, Social, and Personal Circle

Even though your relationship is going through a bad phase – facing trust issues, anxiety, separation, etc., if you are fulfilling your moral responsibility towards your partner, you are trying to take your relationship in the right direction. 

Here you have a sense of moral obligation and personal or social commitments. 

You know how to fulfill all these responsibilities well, then understand that you have almost saved your relationship from being ruined. 

Because responsibilities always give strength, courage, and the ability to understand right and wrong.

And if you have all this in you, you will not let anything go wrong.

#15. Be Sure to Give Opportunities to Build Trust to Improve the Relationship

Trust issues in a relationship can never blossom a tree of love.

Therefore, in a broken relationship, it is necessary to create such opportunities to build trust between both parties, which can instill a sense of confidence in both parties towards each other. 

And it’s not that it takes a lot of effort to build trust, it’s just small things that ensure that you have unwavering faith in your partner. 

For example, if you have life insurance and your partner is a nominee in it, or they are your partner in any of your big projects, or you take your partner’s advice for small household needs.

Now it comes to how do you determine the opportunities to build trust?

Well to build trust you need combined forces of different human fundamental aspects.

You cannot build trust all alone.

And the aspects are, 

  1. Transparency.
  2. Respect and…
  3. Loyalty.

Without these, it’s impossible to trust or build it in any given situation.

Let’s discuss each in detail. 

#16. Loyalty Is Essential to Keep Yourself Away From a Damaged Relationship

You have to be loyal to your partner to mend a deteriorating relationship because you must understand that hurting feelings will prove fatal for any relationship.

If you are lying to your partner or have a relationship with someone else, then understand that you are not paying attention to your partner’s needs

You don’t care if your infidelity can lead to your partner getting depressed and how bad the outcome will be.

If you are not loyal to your partner, then understand that you do not respect your relationship at all.

And where there is no respect, there’s no love.

And where there’s no love, there’s no relationship.

It has been destroyed.

Also, if you’re not loyal, you cannot expect your partner to be loyal.

Once you cross your line, they might probably cross as well. 

And thus, you’ve both entered the phase of a broken relationship.

#17. Controlling and Managing Your Expectations

If the ambition and expectations start exceeding the limit in any relationship, whether the relationship of friendship, husband-wife, or business, then understand that the seeds of condemnation, neglect, and hatred have been planted in that relationship. 

It is essential to regulate and control the expectations to live in harmony because the human mind always craves to get something new and thrilled.

And this craving starts to take away that person from his/her loved ones. 

The person begins to remain irritable… resentment

He starts to force his people to satisfy his craving which further gives birth to instability in the relationship. 

When his expectations don’t get fulfilled, he starts to blame his people.

Both the parties in the relationship should set their expectations according to their partner’s economic, social, and family situation.

This situation can be better controlled by mutual coordination.

#18. Do Not Take Any Wrong Decisions Under Stress or Anger

When the relationship starts deteriorating, it is natural for the person associated with that relationship to go into depression.

But can that person improve his relationship by making some wrong decisions due to depression? 

You should answer this.

What’s your mind saying?

What’s your first reaction? 

I believe it’s NO.

By taking a bad decision, you are harming yourself and the people you love.

Instead of fixing your relationship with one wrong decision, you are on the contrary worsening it even more. 

In a deteriorating relationship, the person makes some bad decisions, such as drinking or getting intoxicated, abusing the partner, harming them, trying to hurt himself, not showing respect to the people in the relationship, adopting bad habits, etc. 

Due to even more wrong decisions, a person tends to end the relationship forever.

And from there, it becomes tough to improve the relationship. 

Therefore, make every noble effort to fix your relationship with thoughtfulness so that your relationship becomes stronger… be intentional.

#19. Seek professional help

If you’ve tried everything and nothing seems to be working, it may be time to seek professional help.

A professional can help you learn how to communicate effectively, resolve conflict, and deal with other issues that may be affecting your relationship.

While it’s not always easy, repairing the damage in a relationship is possible—if you’re willing to put in the work.

With patience, understanding, and a little effort, you and your partner can get back on track and build a stronger, more intimate connection.

What makes a healthy relationship?

how to fix a broken relationship

Every relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons.

Part of what defines a healthy relationship is sharing a common goal for exactly what you want the relationship to be and where you want it to go.

And that’s something you’ll only know by talking deeply and honestly with your partner.

However, there are also some characteristics that most healthy relationships have in common.

Knowing these basic principles can help keep your relationship meaningful, fulfilling, and exciting whatever goals you’re working towards or challenges you’re facing together.

A. You maintain a meaningful emotional connection with each other. 

You each make the other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled.

There’s a difference between being loved and feeling loved.

When you feel loved, it makes you feel accepted and valued by your partner, like someone truly gets you.

Some relationships get stuck in peaceful coexistence, but without the partners truly relating to each other emotionally.

While the union may seem stable on the surface, a lack of ongoing involvement and emotional connection serves only to add distance between two people.

B. You’re not afraid of (respectful) disagreement.

Some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree.

The key to a strong relationship, though, is not to be fearful of conflict.

You need to feel safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation, or insisting on being right.

C. You keep outside relationships and interests alive.

Despite the claims of romantic fiction or movies, no one person can meet all of your needs.

In fact, expecting too much from your partner can put unhealthy pressure on a relationship.

Learn about marriage counseling…

To stimulate and enrich your romantic relationship, it’s important to sustain your own identity outside of the relationship, preserve connections with family and friends, and maintain your hobbies and interests.

D. You communicate openly and honestly.

Good and effective communication is a key part of any relationship.

When both people know what they want from the relationship and feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires,

…it can increase trust and strengthen the bond between you.

In Conclusion…

Good, healthy relationships will sometimes be challenging.

But it’s all worth it.

You and your partner put yourselves through the challenge for the good things that come from a relationship.

Remember that this is always the case, even during the best phases of a relationship.

The challenge is further amplified during or after a separation.

Our faulty ideas of love, alone, won’t keep a relationship functioning.

It needs care and attention to allow both partners to grow and develop throughout its course.

A relationship can’t stay like it is during the first stages, skillful partnership will be required to make things work.

A healthy relationship will only happen if both people are prepared to work at the outcome, making sure all of the key elements work.

The most difficult challenges can be overcome with two people working together, for the mutual good.

If you have been going through difficult times, it can be hard to get a perspective on things.

Buy the course…

It’s possible to do this with logical, sensible thinking.

Remember that the person you love has not disappeared, no matter what the circumstances.

You must reconnect with that person, allowing them to reconnect to you, in order to build or rebuild a solid, healthy relationship.

The main reasons why relationships fail are loss of trust, poor communication, lack of respect, a difference in priorities, and little intimacy.

A common trajectory for the end of a relationship is the slow tapering-off; a protracted period of tell-tale signs and wilful denial, as motivation to patch things up dwindles in one or both partners. A sudden, sharp break can feel more shocking, but it’s also clearer.

A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked. On a basic level, any relationship that makes you feel worse rather than better can become toxic over time.

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