In this lesson, I am sharing a 9-point marriage separation advice in order to give you the best chance to attract your spouse back in love with you.
At the bottom of this page, you will find the question that inspired this lesson.
(1) Give Yourself Space
It’s most likely that your spouse has asked you for space.
So if that’s the case, it’s very important that you don’t see it as a bad idea because frankly you probably need the space more.
You just can’t see that, because rejection breeds obsession.
Take advantage of the space apart to build a better “you”.
(2) Don’t Overrate Affairs
While your spouse may be distracted by an emotional or physical affair with another person, don’t highlight it.
The affair will never be worth what you have already shared with your spouse
But it is important that you showcase being unbothered by anything or anyone outside of the relationship you have with him or her.
The worst thing you can do is to spend your space apart bickering about affairs; it will only expand and you will push your spouse further away.
(3) It Takes One But…
Insisting that you stay together is not going to help save your marriage as much as attracting your spouse back.
It only takes one person to create attraction but that requires a process and insisting otherwise will interrupt that process of attraction.
Instead, let go as it only takes “you” to build attraction which is the single most important thing that is missing right now.
(4) Don’t Use/Abuse Children
The marriage separation period will come with a lot of temptations
And one of them is trying to inflict emotional abuse and blackmail on your spouse.
Another one is abusing your children as a tool to accomplish that goal.
It always backfires.
The most common one, believe it or not, is not as obvious as you may think.
It happens more in the form of manipulation under the pretense of protecting the child or children.
What you want to do is stay focused on what you want and don’t want
And leave the children out of it even if that’s painful for you emotionally.
Your emotional feelings are temporary.
The only exception to this, is physical abuse of the children; in that case, it would be non-negotiable to get the children removed from harm’s way.
(5) After 3 Months, You are Free
It’s not advisable to engage in transgressions with other people during separation but we are all humans.
Technically, you are free to move on after 3 months of lack of sexual relationship when it is not medically related in my personal opinion.
But also in my personal opinion, the most profitable and worthwhile thing to work on in this period is self growth.
If you don’t, transgression and the lifestyle that comes with it can destroy everything you care about.
It can be even worse when it’s done in retaliation.
If you decide to move on, seek legal counsel to avoid exposing you and/or your children to unfavorable legal loopholes.
(6) More Actions/Less Talking
That should be pretty clear but be careful not to confuse certain inaction with emotional centered-ness.
For example, don’t abandon your children and/or your normal responsibilities in the name of less talking.
That would be irresponsible and such behavior will continue to lower your spouse’s attraction towards you.
Just keep in mind that changed behavior is the best apology.
So for the most part, verbal apology will work against you because of the expectation for instant results.
Stay away from arguments, approval seeking behaviors and focus on building your self during this period.
(7) You Allow Disrespect
If there are any type of disrespect and/or disregard from your spouse during your separation, ask yourself first,
“How did I put myself in that position?”
“How did I allow that”?
You need to take the time to extract the answer to that question as it will help with clarity as you move into the new phase of your marriage.
The bottom-line and the result of this exercise should be that no one should be taking anyone for granted again.
When you take yourself for granted, your spouse will see it as a permission to take you for granted if they are weak like most people.
(8) Never Bribe for Sex
Don’t manipulate with whatever you do for your spouse, children and family at this time as a bribe for sex.
It will work against your desire.
Do it if you find it honorable to do and you don’t have to if you don’t feel like it.
The worst thing you can do is do it and then blame them for not reciprocating.
(9) Work on Yourself
That should be self explanatory.
Use the marriage separation period to build yourself and attract the love and affection that you deserve.
It’s simple but I agree…
It’s easier said than done.
Below is a question for us to address with this lesson…
“ I really enjoy your content on IG: @LOLAandOLA and I need to ask you a question.
In April 2017, my wife said she wanted space for 2 weeks because we were not in a good place and she was distracted by an affair at the time.
Initially, I objected and wanted us to get a fresh new start.
She did not return and recently found out she is in a full blown now having sexually intimate moments with her partner on the same bed as my 6 years old daughter who told me she’s uncomfortable.
As a christian, am I totally free without guilt to remarry even though we are not officially divorced.
I’m not going to crawl and beg her.
I did all I could to fight and save the marriage. But it’s clearly not working out.
She finds joy in disrespecting me and talking to me anyhow, rudely and distastefully.
Mind you, I am financially okay and earn 8-figures per annum.
I still give her monthly up-keep, 120K per month, for my daughters, excluding fees, clothing… until 2019 January when I stopped for many reasons.”
Enjoy the video.
Are you STRUGGLING in your... MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP?
Is your dream to build a happily ever after life heading down the drains?
The harsh reality is that the happiness in your marriage may be over...
"Can it be saved?"
...And maybe you still even live in the house with your spouse as roommates, barely any sex or intimacy and probably in denial.
I get it.
"Is that the inevitable supposed and purposed end for marriages?"
You know you didn't bargain for such a painful experience.
In this FREE Book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK", you will discover the UNCOMMON secrets of...
HOW TO SAVE & FIX YOUR BROKEN MARRIAGE ALL BY YOURSELF EVEN WHEN THERE IS INFIDELITY OR YOU FEEL IT IS COMPLETELY OVER.
There’s nothing worse than being in a marriage you thought was ordained by God and feeling like you are in eternal bondage and it seems there will never be an end.
It feels very dark in your matrimonial home and you can’t even share your ordeal with anyone.
You try so many moves to save your marriage but your spouse just doesn’t care anymore;
...you feel as though he/she is no more the person you married.
Finally, you thought may be you should communicate more
But the very act of communication digs deeper and deeper holes of arguments, fights, emotional aches and more.
Exhausted, you share your experience with your family and now the whole family is in feud;
Your parents, siblings, on both sides of the family etc.
They have all caught feelings.
You wonder if your kids will have a home with both parents 6 months from now... it feels like no one cares or ever cared.
If you feel a connection to this reality at any level, I feel your pain.
We know what that feels like.
Inside this book, you will discover our full story from being madly in love to a completely destroyed marriage; DIVORCE and back together stronger.
Whatever "destroyed marriage" means in your imagination, we've been through it and it was basically impossible to fix our marriage.
We didn't fix it.
"GET MY MARRIAGE BACK."
May be your situation is not bad at all, every marriage will go through crisis as a test to take you to greatness.
This book will prepare you for it when it comes.
If you feel like your home is heading in a very bad direction, you can't stop arguing, you can't speak your mind etc... you need all 3 sections of this book.
- New Foundation
- Real Love Techniques
It's time for you to build that real love experience (that you bargained for when you got married to your spouse)
...from a very intentional and deliberate stand point.
Marriage is not a partnership and it's takes more than common sense.
I'm sure you are a smart person because you found your way here.
But clearly, your smartness and common sense hasn't worked out well in your marriage.
The secrets we share with you in this book work both in the ancient and even better in the civilized age.