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5 KEYS TO REKINDLING ATTRACTION DURING SEPARATION (How To Make Your Husband Want You All The Time)

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In this video, we are adding some context to an answer we gave to Queen some few weeks back.  Be sure to check out that video.  

It’s called “Unwanted Separation? Use THESE 5 Tips!” It was also a response to an original video called “Ignoring Your Spouse During Separation 💔”

Here is her response to that video.

“Thank you Lola and Ola. I am grateful for you guys. You have opened a new perspective to me. I believe I should work on myself now moving forward. The period of sorrow and grief is coming to an end. 

About the question if I am a selfish person, the answer is no. I have always given people my time, love and affection. I’d rather love others first. 

I don’t know how to only focus on me. It’s not healthy. I’d rather give to those who need me. I never put myself first but look for the good of those around me. 

Hence I helped hubby become who he is today. Now that he’s left I don’t understand what I did wrong to be honest. 

We spoke a few days ago and he wanted to know what I have been up to. I don’t know why he suddenly is interested to know about my whereabouts but he will not disclose what he’s doing or how he feels. Which I find strange that he’s obsessed with knowing what I am about. 

I think I need to be more attractive and work on myself more like you mentioned. I will revive my passions and allow time to heal like they say. 

For now I will focus on what makes me happy and keep me focused. I believe he’s still my husband. I am also going to download your free book now.” ~ Queen

So here we go.  To add some context to Queen’s comment, we have created 5 keys to rekindling attraction from a seduction standpoint during a separation.

Let’s get into it.

Key Number 5

The Art of Obsession

The Art of Obsession

As always, this is easier said than done.  But it’s a simple concept.  What makes it complex is the complex human mind.

When you experience rejection at any level,  it breeds obsession and anxiety.  

But when you are able to garner some self-control and back off just a little bit, you can successfully transfer that obsession and anxiety to the other party.

It also depends on how much damage may have occurred during the break down of the relationship.  

If your separated spouse is not the exception minority with no emotional blood flowing in their vein, this works 100% of the time.

So it’s pretty normal for the obsession to flip to the other side when you take time to back off and allow nature to take its course.

If your partner needs space, things are bad already and you probably need more space than you realize.

Key Number 4

Don’t Fake The Flip

So, I want you to allow the obsession and the anxiety to flip from you to your partner naturally and organically.  There are gurus out there teaching people to fake it.

You can’t afford to fake this stuff because that would be a lie and that would typically mean you have to keep lying to cover up lies.  It’s not worth it because it’s too much energy trying to keep up with it.


It needs to be organic and this awareness right here will make it a little hard.  

But the way to mitigate that is to really take this rare advantage of time apart to build yourself in every way you can think of; physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Leave very little room to sit around and allow your mind to wander around about things you can’t control such as sorrow and grief.

If you can do it, that’s obviously time spent away from obsessing over your estranged partner and that much time for them to start wondering about what you are up to.

That’s literally a form of attraction.

It’s organic and natural and proof that you can potentially rekindle attraction in a healthy way so that you can embrace it when you are ready.

Key Number 3

Don’t Run An Empty Cup

Don't Run An Empty Cup

As “Queen” just acknowledged, you can’t afford to pour love into others from an empty cup; it will only drain your energy.  

Yes we advocate for focusing on “giving” in a healthy relationship and not the falsehood of the “give and take” ideology that a bunch of selfish people are running around with on social media.

But please, do not take us out of context.  You simply cannot give what you don’t already have.  

We get this question all the time… “You are telling us to just GIVE but what if we are giving so much that the other person is not reciprocating?”

Good question.  

But there is no better way to tell me that you are not giving anything to yourself.  You are emptying out yourself to your partner.

That’s the only way you can have time to notice that they don’t reciprocate but you are not necessarily wrong; just a thought to consider.

And worse, you are setting them up with false metrics of expectations that are based purely on your disappointed emotions. 

You can’t win together like that. You might win alone and effectively destroy the relationship.  But let’s be guided.

When you can demonstrate the ability to take care of yourself, there is almost nothing sexier than that when it comes to rekindling attraction again.

And of course, they naturally can’t wait to get on your good side.

Key Number 2

Be Indifferent

Once you’ve managed to organically flip that obsession and anxiety over to the other side, do not prematurely engage.

Sure it’s attractive but it needs to be tested with time and persistence which must be demonstrated on all sides.

Don’t play games with this if you haven’t gone through an outright rejection from your spouse.  That will make it fake, manipulative and it can backfire badly.

But in the case of what “Queen” described, she needs to disconnect as much as possible from wondering what she did wrong and why he is suddenly obsessed.

The bottom line is that he is obsessed because that’s attraction at play but more importantly, how she responds to it needs to showcase indifference.

What that means is that how you feel is neither here nor there.  You are okay with whatever the outcome is and you will take your time because you are busy learning how to take care of yourself.

It might drive one or both of you wild.


But the attraction needs to be tested for strength because there is a real reason why a separation became reality in the first place.

It doesn’t matter if you are “the man” or “the woman”.  The same attraction principle is applicable if you are feeling the emotions of rejection.

You can re-engage your seduction power and redirect the course.

Key Number 1

Self Love Is Still key

Self Love Is Still key

What if you lost your partner forever?  Yea.  What if?  If you can’t handle that reality in your mind right now, it’s probably showing as needy behavior on the surface.

That’s not sexy.

It’s like no wonder they are running away from that.

The moment they can see that you are capable of loving yourself adequately, they will always regret a decision of not working on your relationship.

That self-love will attract a better companionship to you with or without your spouse; it’s non-negotiable. 

And again, we are not talking to selfish people.  Self-love as a religious talking point and ideology can also destroy you and everything you care about.

We are speaking from experience.  

We share our own story inside the book “GET MY MARRIAGE BACK” which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you’d like us to cover on the next video.

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5 “Do’s & Don’ts” During Separation in Marriage (ft Obodo Oyinbo TV)

Quick story.  So my husband was on Aunty B’s platform, Obodo Oyinbo TV, in the past few days oh my God… he ended up becoming an overnight detective.

A man had called him before he called into a show making wild claims about women in Nigeria and as usual, it was obvious to him that this man was speaking from personal experience.

The truth is that we have both men and women who perpetuate this terrible behavior once they have had  traumatic experiences in marriage or relationships.

And nothing good comes out of it.

So we want to share 5 “do’s & don’ts” if you happen to be in a separation from your marriage at this moment.  

We  know you will be tempted to destroy your future relationship if you don’t know these things so please, pay attention.

Thing Number 5

Don’t Focus on Whose Fault; It’s Irrelevant

After about 30,000 views, what I always knew was confirmed.  He was projecting from his personal experiences.

He is presently separated from his wife who he had met in Nigeria while visiting.  So the wife had recently asked for divorce.

So he decided he wanted to help others who may be captured by the evil women who are poor and live in Nigeria; according to him.

After getting dragged on that platform so many times, there was one thing that really stood out to me and this is it.

He was obsessed with who was at fault for the demise of the marriage.  Not just that, we are talking about a need to spell out every fault at every stop since he met the lady.

If you are in separation and you want the outcome of the process to be positive, you have two choices.

Decide that no one is at fault or… 

The 2nd choice, which is “both of you are at fault”; unless of course, someone had a gun to their head during the decision to engage in a romantic way.

Thing Number 4

Don’t Attempt Saving Others Before Healing

Don’t Attempt Saving Others Before Healing

So we get it.  You’ve just gone through a very traumatic situation and experience.  Your experience is valid but you need to believe that.

Naturally, if you consider yourself “nice” or “good”, you might want to jump out there and save everyone else from people like your ex-partner who is now a bad person I guess…

Don’t do it.  You will end up re-creating your own version of your experience in others and they will effectively project it further into our society… 

…when it is in-fact, not necessarily their experience.

It’s a fact that your ex-partner had their own experience. This is why those who don’t know any better end up calling each other liars; making things worse.

Stay away from trying to help others until you make sure you’ve gone through healing.

And have peace with the idea that it’s not necessarily anyone’s fault.

Thing Number 3

Let Go In Every Sense

Let Go In Every Sense

Generally speaking, letting go is one of the hardest things for humans to do.  People would yell out things like “I don’t care” with such anger.

You would be left to wonder…”Do you believe that you don’t care or you need to convince yourself even more?”

It’s confusing at best.  Sure you should be able to tell your story.  But you should only do it within a controlled context and environment.

Letting go, self control and awareness is key but hard.  Have you noticed that you enjoy talking so much about your ex-partner particularly in a bad light?

Thing Number 2

Engage a Wise Counsel

There is a good chance you are not able to smell your own breath.  You can barely see your own nose.  Maybe if you calm down, you can at least see a blurry version of it.

The point I am making is this.  Separation from a marriage is tough on a human heart.  Take some time off and engage wise counsel.

We all have a blind spot by default.  So how much more when everything you believed when it comes to romance is being questioned.

Thing Number 1

Don’t Generalize! It’s a sign of a weak person…

Don’t Generalize! It’s a sign of a weak person…

Let me ask that question I asked previously again.  Have you noticed that you enjoy talking so much about your ex-partner particularly in a bad light?

Or maybe this time, you’ve managed to camouflage it as a generalized story that you have become an evangelist for.

You find yourself saying things like “American women are not good wives.”  You’ve perfected the art of saying “All Nigerian men are cheaters.”

I’m just gonna be straight up with you.  There is no better way to tell us that you need counseling and possibly therapy than showcasing a habit of generalizing.

It’s a red flag.  You shouldn’t be advising or trying to save anyone.

It’s projection at best.  There is no way that you know enough people to be capable of generalizing in the name of helping someone.

You will end up making more people toxic than you help if at all..

We are speaking from experience.  We share our own story inside the book “GET MY MARRIAGE BACK” which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you’d like us to cover on the next video. 

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Unwanted Separation? Use THESE 5 Tips! (re: Ignoring Your Spouse During Separation 💔)

https://youtu.be/Yu9VusO0t6M

Unwanted Separation? Use THESE 5 Tips! So we received a comment on one of the best videos we’ve ever done called “Ignoring Your Spouse During Separation” from one of our 1,125 extremely valuable subscribers on YouTube; Queen.

Make sure you search and check out that video once  you finish watching this video.

She says… And I quote

“Going thru separation. I love and miss my husband. He asked to be alone for a year. What do I do while we are living apart?”

Queen. I’m sorry you are going through this.  Separation is not easy on anyone.  As devastating as it sounds, it sometimes can yield positive outcomes. 

In fact, we are going to share 5 tips with you on how to dramatically increase the chance of making this season productive for you especially in spite of what it may feel like right now.

Tip Number 5

Identify Why

The marriage institution is exactly that; an institution.  And all disrespect of the institution will lead to a terrible outcome which is a legal or spiritual evaporation of the marriage.

One of such disrespects happens when people get into marriages that lack explicitly identified purpose.  It’s also synonymous with a marriage with no clear vision from the leader.

So if there is no leader, even if it’s temporarily, there is no vision and things fall apart.

At this point, Queen… you have to be realistic and identify your own life mission and purpose.  

It’s going to be instrumental in attracting your husband back to you if he belongs there in the first place.

Major focus has to be directed to building yourself up because it’s about being worthy of attracting what you desire; even if that’s your marriage and/or your husband.

Whatever you engage henceforth should either be your passion or some type of stepping stone towards your passion.

Identify Why

Tip Number 4

Forgive Yourself

There is a tricky fine line between holding yourself accountable and not forgiving yourself.  Everything in life is a double edged sword that can cut both ways.

Holding yourself accountable when your marriage seems to be failing is no different.  You want to make sure that you’ve forgiven yourself for at least being what you may be perceiving as failure.

After all, failure is the stepping stone towards all forms of success. 

Guilt, blame, condemnation and judgement will work against you because they will consume 10 times the  energy you could use to improve yourself in order to attract love and your desires again. 

Tip Number 3 

Let Him Go

He wants time off, let him go.   The truth is that negotiating desire is always a terrible strategy because it leads back into this vicious cycle of resenting yourself.

If your husband has asked to be alone for a year, the reality is that he doesn’t want to be alone because he is human; a social being like the rest of us.  He just doesn’t want to be with you again.

At least subconsciously, you also know this to be true so you naturally fight to hold on to your husband evidently by begging, calling obsessively, manipulation and other strategies that only repel and not attract love.

So the fear becomes, “what if I let go and then he gets with someone else”?

Okay.  What if he does?  I ask you.  Can you survive that reality?  If you can’t survive that reality, where is the sexy self-confidence and self-esteem that attracted him in the first place? 

It’s little to no wonder why he doesn’t want to be with you.

Here is another reality. That’s just how he felt the moment it was said.  It’s not necessarily how he is going to feel once he smells that you don’t need him ever again.  

To want him and to need him are two different things.  No one wants to be with a needy person.

So the first step is to let him go in order to let your magic… maybe God…. do its thing.  

There is more.

Let Him Go

Tip Number 2

Build Self Love

We’ve seen a lot of people running around social media and different types of conversations talking about “self love”.

Let’s be honest.  Some people are too selfish and should not be talking about self love if they don’t want to self-sabotage when it comes to attracting authentic love over time.

But in your case Queen, rejection breeds obsession.  So you are probably pouring from an empty cup and not taking care of yourself enough.  That’s not attractive nor is it sustainable.

In this season for you, the work is in taking care of and loving up on yourself.  

I understand it’s hard when you experience rejection especially when it involves a potential break up of your family.

But remember that everything goes back to attraction and desire which you should never negotiate.  People, including your husband, really have no choice but to mimic the level of self love that you have for yourself.

At the minimum, people will mimic your level of self-respect.  Focus on doing things you love and for yourself during this period and don’t have ultimatums on doing that.

Make it a lifestyle.

I have a question for you.  Are you naturally a selfish person?

Use the comment area below to share your answer with us.

There is a chance that you are already not a selfish person.  So it’s time to pivot and it’s your best chance of attracting love with or without your husband.

I know you are probably so obsessed that you don’t want to hear about love outside of your husband.  But think about this deeply.  Love is love and it really wouldn’t matter when you are in-love.

It also doesn’t matter because loving yourself will make you more attractive and therefore increase your chances of attracting anyone to desire you; hopefully your husband.

And last but not least.

Tip Number 1

Look Out For Clarity

Okay.  I don’t want you to set yourself up because honestly that marriage is gone.  Because even if your husband comes back to you, you will have to build a new foundation.

When we say look out for clarity, we need you to do that from a space of selfishness and what is good for your own life and the rest of your life.

I don’t want you to sit around and start expecting your husband to suddenly decide to come back to his senses.  Nothing in life is guaranteed.

Look Out For Clarity

If he comes back, good for him… and for you I hope.

With these tips, you will definitely influence him if he is human like the rest of us because he will wonder and become unsure of where you stand. 

That will effectively drive his attraction towards you in an upwards direction.

But you can’t control what other people do.  You can only control how you respond to life and consequently control what you attract.

Things will start to align when you let go and genuinely become capable of enjoying every moment of your life without needing him.

We are speaking from experience.  We share our own story inside the book “GET MY MARRIAGE BACK” which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you’d like us to cover on the next video. 

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5 Things That Will Make Your Wife Miss You During Separation 💔

In this lesson, you will discover 5 things that you can focus on to make your wife miss you during a separation in marriage.  

Sorry to hear that you may be going through this but I got you.  I want to tell you a story about James and his wife who are separated but living together.

So James was a guy who dropped us an email.  He has been separated from his wife for a while now due to multiple issues. 

Based on his confession, his wife finally had enough of him constantly putting her down and she asked for a separation with the goal of divorce. 

They have been married since 2010 and have two kids together. 

According to him, the kids are why they have decided to live together but separated for the time being.

James doesn’t want divorce but he understands that his wife is comfortable and will need to miss their romance in order to get back together; hence his question.

Believe it or not, separation may not have been a bad thing for your marriage.  

PREVIOUS POST: 10 Signs Your Wife Just Slept With Someone Else 💔

There is a Nigerian Yoruba proverb that says

“Agbo ti o fi eyin rin lo, agbara ni o lo mu wa.”

Which in loose translation means:

“The ram that moves backwards has gone to bring more power.”

This can be true for your marriage also… especially if you lean in and pay attention to these 5 things that go over most people’s heads.

Let’s be honest.  Emotions are high during separation on at least one side of the relationship; usually on both sides.

So everything I say to you today will be easier said than done. Nonetheless, it will increase your chances of attracting healthy love.

If you are a wife who is trying to make your husband miss you during separation, these lessons are also applicable.

But with a slight difference according to the sexual polarity based on the dynamics of masculine and feminine energy in your relationship.

With that being said, let’s dive into the 5 things….

Thing #5 – Attraction

TRENDING: “Does My Wife MISS ME During SEPARATION?”

When there is a breakdown in attraction, the negative things are easier to focus on than all the numerous positive things happening, evident by the fact that there is room to complain.

This behavior subsequently creates the further deterioration of attraction in the marriage and this is why most couples in separation are in a vicious cycle.

Guess what you can start doing to rebuild attraction; the direct opposite.  Whatever you focus on expands; positive or negative.  

So one extremely seductive thing you can do now is to make a different choice; focus on all the positive things and ignore the negative things unless it is safety, security or core value related.

Thing #4 – Gratitude

This is an attitude to life.  It is still true to a large extent that you attract things into your life based on your attitude about life.

In the midst of separation, most people become very weak to the point that all they can do is swing along with things and wing things along.

They also tend to point fingers at everyone and everything else but self which is another way to disengage from self-improvement.

If your wife doesn’t get pointing-fingers from you, she will miss you because she will gradually start growing respect for you.

Thing #3 – Purpose

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

Without a strong personal purpose in life, there is a good chance that you will have a lot of time in your hands for nonsensical activities.

You know what they say about the idle mind; it’s the devil’s playground right?  

If you are thinking about your separation right now, there is a chance that you are not as engaged with your personal life mission and purpose.

When you are engaged with your purpose as a man, it’s only natural for you to create a space of respect and healthy distance around you without you having to ignore her.

Your wife will miss you because she can feel the change especially if you both have good memories from the past together.

Thing #2 – Self-Love

This is simpler than most people understand.  If you don’t love yourself, others, including your estranged wife, will mimic that behavior.

It has to be absolutely clear to her that you love yourself way too much to wait around and throw your life away for her to miss being in love with you.

She doesn’t get to decide if she wants to miss you or not if you get this right.

Thing #1 – Let-Go

Download The Book: GET MY MARRIAGE BACK For FREE!

I understand that it is almost an oxymoron to ask you to “let go” while trying to make your wife miss you; I’m guessing… in order to rekindle romance in your marriage.

Think about it.  Your wife is running for a reason.  

From a mental standpoint, the last thing you want to do to a person who feels like running is to convince them otherwise. 

People don’t run from what they passive as pleasure or relief.  They run from pain or anything they perceive as painful at least until you change that experience for them.

So “letting go” for you may feel painful which is why you may naturally be running from the idea of letting go but that is where the work lies for you.

So tell me in the comment area which of these 5 things has proven to be the hardest for you to do and we will see about doing a video tip on making it easier for you.

Don’t forget to download your free book

Get My Marriage Back at:

www.GetMyMarriageBack.com 

Also check out the 30 minutes free coaching and discovery session that we will give you access to right after the download.

Hit the like button and check out the video on the screen for more information on how to rekindle and build an awesome marriage and legacy without being a simp or a pick-me.

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