Unhappy Marriage But Can’t Leave ❤️ Does he Love Me⁉️

In this lesson, we will cover a very popular question asked by women in seemingly unhappy marriages; “does he love me?”

But first which one?

There is a difference between Love & In-Love

It’s simple.

does he love me - unhappy marriage

To love someone is a deliberate value driven act while to be in-love is a feeling that comes from attraction and often a sense of newness.

It is possible for a man to love you and not necessarily be in love with you.

That is to say, the attraction level is low and unfortunately you can feel it that he is not drawn to you as evident by this question.

So if you can’t tell in his body language, he is probably not in love with you at the moment.

But keep in mind that it is probably temporary,

Especially if you have experienced the feeling of him being in love with you in the past

…depending on how far into the past it has been.

If a man still needs you in his life, he probably loves you because again…

Loving someone is a value driven deliberate action.

But in that same space, he may net be as attracted to you as he needs to be.

To love someone is a process and an on-going thing while being in love with a person is more of a state of mind; a feeling.

If he is in love with you, you will be able to tell as he shows that he can’t have enough for you.

For a man to love at that level takes a while and a process of growth.

34 years into marriage, a man can love you and it would be synonymous to being in love with you

Because that relationship has probably been tested a few times.

So the idea of not being with you is not a thing and cannot be even remotely entertained.

But it is a value driven act because it took time, a process and probably all types of tests on his character and the dynamics of your relationship with him to be in that space.

Therefore if you just met this man recently, loving you is not exactly relevant as he probably doesn’t even know himself

…with respect to your relationship enough.

However, he may be in-love with you

But you would be able to tell from his body language and other forms of expression if he is.

As an adult, the other question is if you are in love with him.

I would go out on a limb and answer for you; YES.

Wondering about a man’s feelings for you is one of the signs of high attraction and that you are in love with the idea of that person.

If this was a high school situation, no one knows themselves enough to be able to recognize real love.

How do I get out of an unhappy marriage when he is not in love with me?

If a man is not in love with you, that’s just a temporary feeling and a sign of low attraction.

So getting out of the marriage is not a solution especially if you’ve ever experienced high attraction in the marriage in the past.

Therefore if you have, the next best thing to do is to learn how to make him want you again.

It’s a nice little known skill that you probably used unknowingly when you were also in that space of giving naturally into the marriage.

The first step is to know that there is no such thing as an “unhappy marriage”; there are only 2 unhappy people in a marriage.

And secondly,

If you know anything about happiness, it comes from the inside and never from another person, a spouse or a partner.

Sure…. You may argue that others can influence your happiness.

I agree.

But ultimately, that’s called environmental factors… kinda like the weather.

Your marriage surroundings may feel gloomy but again, that’s a feeling.

And with proper knowledge, wisdom and empowerment, you can control how you feel from the inside… and like I said…

True happiness only comes from the inside.

If you give other people and your environment the power to control how happy you feel, it will always be that much short of true joy;

A necessary ingredient for “marriage goals”.

Thirdly, you go into a relationship to give.

So leaving this marriage for any reason outside of physical abuse will not necessarily make you happy.

You have a better chance of a “happy marriage” for lack of a better term when you build yourself from the inside

So that you can have enough to give emotionally into the relationship.

Also, confidence and non-neediness is one of the most attractive features you can develop to bring into your marriage.

And you can seduce anyone you want back into a blissful relationship with you when you learn how to.

There is a good chance that you have in the beginning but we all get complacent and take things for granted in relationships;

a.k.a “I lost myself”, ever heard that before.

So your marriage is only really over if you don’t want it anymore with this weapon of attraction at your disposal.

Also, if money and finances are not right in your marriage, it will cause issues.

But again running from that problem is an oxymoron; at least 50% of that problem is your shadow and it will follow you anywhere you go.

Leaving is a last resort;

First of all, find out what value or solution you can give into this monster of a relationship that you already know; it’s your best chance at happiness.

With a will, the power of seduction and high attraction, you will survive, thrive and become relationship goals that many will envy for a long time.

Keep in mind that the grass is always greener on the other side because it is being watered somehow.

“What if I’m not in love with my husband but I can’t leave?”

Not being in love is a temporary feeling and symptom of underlying issues in your marriage.

Leaving the marriage because of the symptoms will not fix your problem; in fact, it will potentially make life more miserable for you.

But you are the one in the marriage and you probably have deeper and clearer context.

If it’s just as simple and temporary as “not being in love”,

Look inside objectively and ask yourself if you have value or can build value to bring into this relationship.

This is easier said than done but it’s your best shot at a happy and blissful marriage again.

But keep in mind that leaving your marriage or divorce is not a crime as much as it may not be the solution.

If it’s a physical abuse situation, leave physically immediately and seek professional help.

Toxic arguments is one of the top signs of communication breakdown in a marriage;

It feels like a high that you know it’s bad for you but you can’t stop it until it destroys;

Shutting down on your spouse dismissively can be just as toxic.

So if you can still have a healthy loving conversation with your spouse, that’s a great place to start and build from.

If you have kids, don’t abuse them as a manipulation tool to leave or stay in the marriage.

The best thing you can do for kids is to be an example of what a healthy relationship and marriage looks like as they learn more from behavior.

I know we make it sound simple but nothing here is easy; it is simple but not easy… it’s easier said than done.

But it’s worth every effort you apply.

However, it is absolutely okay to draw emotional strength to want to give into and work on your marriage from your kids.

In a situation of emotional abuse and just flat bad behavior like alcohol and drug abuse, a higher level of patience is required.

But fundamentally, you can use the power of seduction and reverse psychology to get your spouse to start behaving right.

There is a reason why he or she is still in the marriage.

If they are the one solely benefiting from that reason, they may never change if they don’t show what it feels like to take that benefit away.

For example. I hear other counselors all the time insinuating that sex should not be used to punish the spouse.

I believe differently.

It’s impossible for a person who wants sex to use it to punish another;

It seems that way because they are clearly no attracted to the idea of having sex with the spouse.

In this context, sex would be the benefit that you should not be giving when you know that you are not attracted due to bad and abusive behaviors.

Sex is not a duty, it’s to be enjoyed together.

But having it less than twice a week outside of medical reasons is a sign and symptom of underlying issues.

So in conclusion

You should be focused on “giving” into your marriage and use that as the first step in solving all problems and dealing with crisis.

Sure… much patience would be required as everything is a process before you eventually start receiving.

However, keep in mind that all forms of abuse will probably not stop unless there are real consequences.

It’s as simple as demanding that abusers seek help out of respect for yourself, sometimes asking for temporary space and time does help,

But ultimately using that to work on building yourself so that you can have enough to give and attract the love you deserve and desire.

Below is a question for us to address with this lesson…

“I think I am between struggle and miserable.

34 years and 6 kids.

He’s always been a drinker. It’s getting worse.

He smokes pot everyday… has no job, not being very helpful unless I get angry and nag.

I am done but I can’t see that I have allowed him to become what he is.

No job, no prospect, no reliability to support himself.

I don’t know how to get out.”

Enjoy the video.

Are you STRUGGLING in your... MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP?

Are you having a difficult time getting your spouse or the person you love on the same page?

Is your dream to build a happily ever after life heading down the drains?

I know...

The harsh reality is that the happiness in your marriage may be over...

IT'S BROKEN...

"Can it be saved?"

...And maybe you still even live in the house with your spouse as roommates, barely any sex or intimacy and probably in denial.

I get it.

You wonder...

"Is that the inevitable supposed and purposed end for marriages?"

You know you didn't bargain for such a painful experience.

In this FREE Book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK", you will discover the UNCOMMON secrets of...

HOW TO SAVE & FIX YOUR BROKEN MARRIAGE ALL BY YOURSELF EVEN WHEN THERE IS INFIDELITY OR YOU FEEL IT IS COMPLETELY OVER.

There’s nothing worse than being in a marriage you thought was ordained by God and feeling like you are in eternal bondage and it seems there will never be an end.

It feels very dark in your matrimonial home and you can’t even share your ordeal with anyone.

You try so many moves to save your marriage but your spouse just doesn’t care anymore;

...you feel as though he/she is no more the person you married.

Finally, you thought may be you should communicate more

But the very act of communication digs deeper and deeper holes of arguments, fights, emotional aches and more.

Exhausted, you share your experience with your family and now the whole family is in feud;

Your parents, siblings, on both sides of the family etc.

They have all caught feelings.

You wonder if your kids will have a home with both parents 6 months from now... it feels like no one cares or ever cared.

If you feel a connection to this reality at any level, I feel your pain.

We know what that feels like.

Inside this book, you will discover our full story from being madly in love to a completely destroyed marriage; DIVORCE and back together stronger.

Whatever "destroyed marriage" means in your imagination, we've been through it and it was basically impossible to fix our marriage.

We didn't fix it.

Get My Marriage BackWe created a brand new, better and stronger marriage empire on 3 pillars that you will discover in...

"GET MY MARRIAGE BACK."

May be your situation is not bad at all, every marriage will go through crisis as a test to take you to greatness.

This book will prepare you for it when it comes.

If you feel like your home is heading in a very bad direction, you can't stop arguing, you can't speak your mind etc... you need all 3 sections of this book.

  1. Emergency
  2. New Foundation
  3. Real Love Techniques

It's time for you to build that real love experience (that you bargained for when you got married to your spouse)

...from a very intentional and deliberate stand point.

Marriage is not a partnership and it's takes more than common sense.

I'm sure you are a smart person because you found your way here.

But clearly, your smartness and common sense hasn't worked out well in your marriage.

The secrets we share with you in this book work both in the ancient and even better in the civilized age.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is divorce better than an unhappy marriage?

Divorce and leaving you marriage is not a crime but be sure to assess your feelings against reality because leaving is often not the solution to lack of happiness.

In reality, there is no such thing as an “unhappy marriage”; there are only 2 unhappy people in a marriage

Is it normal to be unhappy in marriage?

It is not normal to be in an unhappy marriage just as much as it is not normal to deliberately stay in a low quality lifestyle.

What are the signs of a unhappy marriage?

Happiness is an individual feeling that doesn’t come from the marriage but personal responsibility of the parties in the marriage.

I guess you can then call it an unhappy marriage when at least one of the parties in the marriage shows sign of happiness.

A break down in communication and consistent argument is a sign of at least one unhappy person in a marriage.

How do I get out of an unhappy marriage?

There is no such thing as an “unhappy marriage”; there are only 2 unhappy people in a marriage.

Therefore the only way is honorably and respectfully communicate your intentions with your spouse; the same action that create seemingly happy marriage.

How do you know when your marriage is really over?

You marriage is over when at least one of the parties says it is over. It takes 2 to be in a marriage.

However, they may express this in action. For example,a marriage might as well be over when there is no intimacy for 3 months straight without medical issues.

Ultimately, it depends on the full context.

How do you know when to leave a marriage?

If your spouse has left you in a marriage, then you should consider leaving the marriage out of self respect.

It takes a minimum of 2 people to be in a marriage.

If you are feeling unhappy inside the marriage, leaving your marriage will not necessarily make you happy.

Getting into a new relationship with another person will still involve at least 50% of the cause of your unhappiness.

Consider assessing the real reason or underlying issues behind your unhappiness and working on yourself before leaving.

5 Tricks to Fix Your Marriage ❤️

Want to know how to fix your marriage using 5 simple tricks that work 100% of the time?

You see people, including your spouse, are predictable.

That is to say you too can learn a few tricks to attract the love you deserve and desire.

I have to assume that you are experiencing a crisis in your marriage now and that must feel terrible to live in that kind of misery.

Your spouse has probably shut down and is using these moments to emotional abuse you and your marriage.

Use these 5 simple tricks to turn all that around and fix your marriage.

How to Fix Your Marriage Using 5 Simple Tricks

(1) Relax

Rejection breeds obsession.

So the feeling of rejection that you are experiencing at the moment will naturally give you the illusion that the world is about to end.

You and I know that it couldn’t be further from the truth.

So the first step is for you to take back the control of your emotion

And keep in mind and prepare that more triggers will show up temporarily to make you lose it.

Be determined to stay in control.

Here is good book to read as you do…

(2) Listen & Give

This is a marriage and you should always only go into relationships to give; not give and take.

The very act of complaining shows that you are in the taking mode and as you can see, it’s working against you.

Sure it’s not easy to “give” to a person who is not giving love back to you but I am not asking you to give love.

But you need to find opportunities to give.

So you have to listen effectively in order to determine what will be received when you give.

For example, if a spouse is shut down, they are asking for space and that’s an opportunity to “give” some space.

Here is another article: Marriage Separation Advice

In fact, I would argue that you also need that space to regain back your emotional control and escape potential emotional abuse.

Remember.. No one can abuse you emotionally unless you allow it.

Focusing on giving has a direct correlation with fixing your marriage successfully but it must accompany a generous level of patience.

How much you give has a lagging and not a leading indication in your marriage.

(3) Avoid Predictable Reactions

You are responsible for your actions and your reactions are your actions.

Essentially, you don’t get to say “he or she made me do it.”

You are an adult and…

Therefore you are responsible for your actions even when you are not willing to take responsibility.

But you are in a better position of control when you take responsibility without confusing it with guilt and/or self-blame.

When a spouse shuts down, it tends to create triggers for overreaction in many aspects.

So one of the tricks you can use to fix your marriage is to identify scenarios where you would normally overreact and simply do the opposite.

This trick is not a one size fits all.

If you are normally dormant in reacting, then you should gain courage and speak up using words.

But say what you want to say once and leave it there. Arguments will create an undesirable effect.

The idea of this trick is to not be predictable; being predictable kill attraction.

If you can successfully make your spouse wonder why you act the way you act, it will build attraction and with patience, you will fix the marriage.

(4) Detach from Feelings

You are probably feeling like your spouse is no longer in love with you right?

Well first of all, know that feelings are temporary in nature and tend to exaggerate the reality of what’s going on.

So start with how you feel… you are probably exaggerating naturally.

And if you are not exaggerating, your spouse has probably expressed that feeling in words. “I am not in love.”

The in-love is a feeling and it reflects hurt; that’s okay because that can be fixed.

In-love is not love… that’s just butterflies.

And you can probably figure why he or she feels that way at the moment; it’s temporary if you use trick #3… RELAX.

It is better to not get attached to how you feel and your spouses’ expression of how they feel.

Instead, focus on creating a new alternate experience and be patient because it will create a lagging indication and not a leading indication.

That means you will see moments that feel like your effort is not reflecting but that’s a feeling; focus on giving.

But don’t forget to give to yourself too.

(5) Avoid Approval Seeking Behaviors

Some are very quick to apologize but there is a problem with that.

There is blurry line between:

  • Apologies
  • Seeking Approval and
  • Manipulation

These, including apology itself, are not attractive behaviors and it is better in a marriage and relationships to focus on changed behavior.

Changed behavior is the best apology and it’s also attractive as it makes you less predictable in the eyes of your spouse.

You should only apologize once if you feel you should and only if your spouse specifically asks for it.

Think about it, if you have to apologize over and over, you are probably not going to get a different result that you desire with doing the same thing over and over.

In general, avoid approval seeking behavior as it indicates lack confidence and that’s very unattractive at subconscious levels.

BONUS TRICK: Patience

You are not meeting your spouse for the first time so fixing your marriage will be a process.

But it’s worth it because of the level of personal growth that comes with giving over and over when it seems like you won’t receive.

It’s worth the process and your marriage will last that much longer.

Below is a question for us to address with this lesson…

“I need help.

I have a wife and she doesn’t talk to me near her mom and dad.

She says she is shy but sometimes she talks to me and sometimes she doesn’t.

Only sometimes she doesn’t talk to other guys but I don’t know if she loves me.

She says she does but I don’t believe it.”

Enjoy the video.

Are you STRUGGLING in your... MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP?

Are you having a difficult time getting your spouse or the person you love on the same page?

Is your dream to build a happily ever after life heading down the drains?

I know...

The harsh reality is that the happiness in your marriage may be over...

IT'S BROKEN...

"Can it be saved?"

...And maybe you still even live in the house with your spouse as roommates, barely any sex or intimacy and probably in denial.

I get it.

You wonder...

"Is that the inevitable supposed and purposed end for marriages?"

You know you didn't bargain for such a painful experience.

In this FREE Book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK", you will discover the UNCOMMON secrets of...

HOW TO SAVE & FIX YOUR BROKEN MARRIAGE ALL BY YOURSELF EVEN WHEN THERE IS INFIDELITY OR YOU FEEL IT IS COMPLETELY OVER.

There’s nothing worse than being in a marriage you thought was ordained by God and feeling like you are in eternal bondage and it seems there will never be an end.

It feels very dark in your matrimonial home and you can’t even share your ordeal with anyone.

You try so many moves to save your marriage but your spouse just doesn’t care anymore;

...you feel as though he/she is no more the person you married.

Finally, you thought may be you should communicate more

But the very act of communication digs deeper and deeper holes of arguments, fights, emotional aches and more.

Exhausted, you share your experience with your family and now the whole family is in feud;

Your parents, siblings, on both sides of the family etc.

They have all caught feelings.

You wonder if your kids will have a home with both parents 6 months from now... it feels like no one cares or ever cared.

If you feel a connection to this reality at any level, I feel your pain.

We know what that feels like.

Inside this book, you will discover our full story from being madly in love to a completely destroyed marriage; DIVORCE and back together stronger.

Whatever "destroyed marriage" means in your imagination, we've been through it and it was basically impossible to fix our marriage.

We didn't fix it.

Get My Marriage BackWe created a brand new, better and stronger marriage empire on 3 pillars that you will discover in...

"GET MY MARRIAGE BACK."

May be your situation is not bad at all, every marriage will go through crisis as a test to take you to greatness.

This book will prepare you for it when it comes.

If you feel like your home is heading in a very bad direction, you can't stop arguing, you can't speak your mind etc... you need all 3 sections of this book.

  1. Emergency
  2. New Foundation
  3. Real Love Techniques

It's time for you to build that real love experience (that you bargained for when you got married to your spouse)

...from a very intentional and deliberate stand point.

Marriage is not a partnership and it's takes more than common sense.

I'm sure you are a smart person because you found your way here.

But clearly, your smartness and common sense hasn't worked out well in your marriage.

The secrets we share with you in this book work both in the ancient and even better in the civilized age.

How can I fix my marriage by myself?

You can fix your marriage by yourself when you put the focus in fixing and working on yourself.

How do you rebuild your marriage?

You can rebuild your marriage by treating your spouse like you just met them; get to know the evolving person.

What are the signs of a failing marriage?

Toxic arguments and broken down communication gaps are probably the biggest signs of a failing marriage; especially when your spouse shuts down.

How do you fix your marriage without talking about it?

The arts and science of attraction is key to fixing your marriage; it requires minimum use of words and that’s not until you see signs of better vibes in your marriage.

How long do you try to fix your marriage?

There is no set rule outside for as long as you are attracted to your spouse; but also as long as they are still available.

Keep in mind that fixing your marriage if done right is almost synonymous to fixing yourself.