Question: “How do I apologize for hurting my wife?”
John Gray is in the hot seat right now and is probably hoping that this whole thing will die down but he is not helping either because he issued an apology and I think we should play the apology first before we get into anything .
Here is John Gray’s apology:
“I wanna take this moment to tell you I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the areas of my life that I left unattended. That I was apathetic about. The areas where I have treated the calling of God, the grace of God and a hand of God casually in my life. For every area of behavior that has dishonor the holiness of God, I wanna tell you I’m sorry. There have been a number of things and blogs, some of them accurate, some of it not…”
His apology maybe is the right thing to do because he is a pastor in the church.
But talking to his wife, it just feels like it will cause more embarrassment.
For me, I don’t like the loud noise.
That’s bringing so much attention to us so in the moment we should shut it down.
If you feel like the right thing for you to do is to apologize, then you are right…
Now is that going to create the result you want, that is the story that we really should be talking about.
See, if you are worried about whether it is the right thing to do or not, you are always right.
Whatever you feel is right is right.
Is that gonna create the result that you’re looking to achieve, that’s where the work is and that’s where a lot of people miss it.
With that being said, the only time it will be right for you to tender an apology to either a wife or husband or anybody is when that person is asking for it.
Because you listen, that person is asking for it.
So if the person is asking for it and you truly feel that you should apologize, and there is nothing wrong with apologizing but if you are tendering an apology as a form of reaction to being called out.
You just got called out… you did something wrong and you just want to fix it immediately for the misery to go away.
The first thing that goes to your mind is to say I’m sorry.
That I’m sorry is gonna do more hurt.
It can be considered manipulation because you are manipulating.
That apology will hurt more than it will help you create the result you are looking for.
So, How Do I APOLOGIZE for HURTING my wife?
Well, first of all the best apology is Changed Behavior.
That’s gonna take time so there’s time and patience involved.
That means they may not be willing to hear you out right now, the best thing you want to do is stay away from giving them your mouth in every way that you can think of.
You stay away from that.
Let things calm down.
Let things simmer before you give apologies.
That’s why the apology that John Gray gave is premature.
It cannot possibly be authentic because it’s a reaction form of apology…
but how do I apologize for hurting my wife?
Take your time.
If she asks for an apology, then you can tender that in the form of words but the best apology is not words.
Your apology in the form of words is a lot more useful when the person is asking for it.
If friendship with an opposite sex that you are personally friends with, an ex or a blast from the past is involved,
Respect yourself by allowing your spouse to go and sort that out before starting your brand-new marriage with them.
No one with healthily give you what you can’t give yourself.
Therefore if you can’t love and respect yourself, your spouse can’t love and respect you.
Are you STRUGGLING in your... MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP?
Are you having a difficult time getting your spouse or the person you love on the same page?
Is your dream to build a happily ever after life heading down the drains?
The harsh reality is that the happiness in your marriage may be over...
"Can it be saved?"
...And maybe you still even live in the house with your spouse as roommates, barely any sex or intimacy and probably in denial.
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You know you didn't bargain for such a painful experience.
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It feels very dark in your matrimonial home and you can’t even share your ordeal with anyone.
You try so many moves to save your marriage but your spouse just doesn’t care anymore;
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Finally, you thought may be you should communicate more
But the very act of communication digs deeper and deeper holes of arguments, fights, emotional aches and more.
Exhausted, you share your experience with your family and now the whole family is in feud;
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What is infidelity?
In a marriage, it is generally referred to as infidelity when one party engages in intimate relationships with a person outside of the marriage.
What is the difference between infidelity and adultery?
Adultery is more specific of a way to describe sexual related betrayal in a marriage.
What is considered infidelity?
The truth of the matter is that infidelity is involved whenever a promise is broken in your marriage.
What is the main reason for infidelity?
People cheat mainly for a lack of a larger purpose than the pleasure and excitement of secrecy.
How common is infidelity?
Here are some statistics that I found…. • 20% of men reported that they cheated sexually • 13% of women reported that they cheated sexually • 16% of ALL ADULTS reported that they cheated sexually But under age 30, the numbers are different. • 10% of men under 30 reported that they cheated sexually • 11% of women under 30 reported that they cheated sexually
QUESTION ⁉️ “I am the one who cheated on wife and I regret doing so. I love her and my children very much. We still live in the same home but separate room.
I want to win her back. I know she doesn’t trust me but I do not want to lose my wife.
I am willing to do whatever I have to do to win her back. I will never ever do anything like this again so what is the best way that I can make this work?
It’s only been a couple of weeks. She doesn’t want to talk to me. She doesn’t want to see me since It’s kind of frustrating since we are still living under the same room?”
This lesson is probably not for you if you have never experienced infidelity in a marriage. Just like many things in life, don’t bother listening to or creating opinions on the matter.
If you have experienced infidelity in a marriage (you cheated or she cheated on vice versa) and in fact want to fix it, first of all don’t put too much energy in trying to figure out whose fault it was.
Right and/or wrong are not relevant factors and/or useful information tool to help you fix your marriage.
What matters is that your marriage, the relationship itself, was broke and in a bad place evident by what you just experienced. That’s the first step to overcoming your trauma.
Once you realize that, watch this video multiple times and extract every word from it for your best chance to fix it. It doesn’t have to be the end of your marriage.