15 Warning Signs Your Wife Doesn’t Love You & How to Attract Her Back ❤️

Partners can fall in and out of love during the lifetime of their love affair;

It’s just the reality of life.

There is a big difference between loving a person and being in love with the same person.

Loving a person is a choice born out of a commitment

…while being in-love is a feeling that’s born out of feeling safe and secure enough to be vulnerable.

In essence, your wife can love you and still fall in and out of love with you momentarily throughout the course of your love affair or marriage.

However, the 2 phenomenons, loving and in-love, are often used interchangeably and almost synonymously; there is overlap.

The context of this lesson and the 15 signs that your wife doesn’t love you are more within the context of the in-love experience.

1, She is Distracted Easily Especially with the Phone

Remember those moments when you used to have long conversations for no reasons.

Now, all you’ve got is half or less of that attention because she’s distracted by all the environmental factors around.

She is distracted enough for you to notice

…and the number one factor is basically her phone or smart devices competing with you for attention.

Find out how you have been rewarding the behavior and all you have to do is stop rewarding it.

It could be something as simple as sitting there waiting for her until she notices while you whine and bitch about it.

Remove yourself and find something fun and faithful to do for yourself until she notices it. It’s a form of giving to her. You are giving space for her to miss you.

2, She is UnExcited to See/Hang Out With You

In the beginning, she couldn’t wait to ride out in the city with you but somethings have changed;

That’s boring now.

That doesn’t mean she has fallen out of love with you yet; it means she’s lost interest in that activity.

But I lied.

Falling out of love is a process just as much as falling in love is after you’ve lost the initial passion.

Losing the initial passion is in fact inevitable simply because we are humans and we value the feeling of newness and its accompanying excitement.

As I have just said, it’s really the feeling and not necessarily newness all in itself.

When you understand that, it makes it significantly easy to attract your wife to fall back in love with you.

If your wife no longer appreciates being around you, you are probably rewarding that behavior with making her feel that the opportunity to hangout is readily available.

Your time together is predictable and boring; switch things up in a positive way to create attraction.

3, She Claims That She’s Lost Herself

PREVIOUS POST: 35 “Sneaky Little” Signs Your Wife is Cheating ❤️

When a woman gets into this space, being in love with you is the last thing on her mind.

In fact, there is a good chance she is associating the idea of loving you with a part of herself she has just discovered and doesn’t like.

4, She Doesn’t Care About Your Feelings

There is a lot more to this particular sign being a sign.

Honestly, I would want to know why you’ve got so much time to detect this sign.

But that’s probably a topic for another day.

If she’s coming off as your feelings don’t matter, she is not in love with you at this moment.

You can mitigate against this by leaning in towards her and attempting to listen to her feelings as your personal control mechanism for your relationship with and love for her.

… more like an influence mechanism.

If you do that long enough, she will center back to the girl who used to care about your feelings

…but it requires generosity of patience on your part as a seed.

5, No More Expressions of any Type from Her

One of the last behaviors you ever want from your wife is for her to stop expressing herself.

The level at which a woman expresses herself varies greatly depending on her personality, temperament and other factors.

If she ever gets into a space where she doesn’t feel safe to express her feelings at all, that’s almost equivalent to falling completely out of love with you.

Feeling safe and secure with you is almost equivalent to a woman being in love with you.. She has to be able to express herself freely.

6, She Seems UnHappy Quite Often

You know your wife more than I do.

She may not be able to come out and tell you straight to your face that she’s unhappy.

Neither should you wait for her to do so because it might be too late.

If she is not as excited about life and your relationship anymore, she is very likely falling out of love just as much.

But that’s not necessarily your fault.

In fact, that’s not your job and you have probably been rewarding her for coming off as unhappy.

All you have to do is date her and create another… just another opportunity for sex to happen (again.)

7, She Rolls Her Eyes When it’s Time to Talk

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That’s a classic sign, not just of falling out of love with you, but also that she has lost hope that she can ever revive love for you again.

Once a woman rolls eye at every glance of a conversation about your relationship, it means you have a massive up-hill battle in order to attract her back into loving you again.

You still need to communicate but this time around, you need to learn and practice effective communication.

It will involve lots of patience because she is obviously shut down.

8, She Disregards Your Opinion & Advice

When you were dating this lady, your words were the gospel. She trusted every advice you gave her.

In fact, she thought there would never be a guy as smart as you were.

But recently, some events have made her, not only say she doesn’t care for your opinions, but showcase exactly that in her actions.

She dismisses them right in your face without thinking about it at all and it hurts because you can tell that she doesn’t love you anymore.

9, She is Reluctant about Sex & Intimacy

It would be easy to tell you that she is no longer in love with you if she had completely shut down access to sex.

But that’s usually not the case.

The way it works is that your wife is probably engaged in an internal battle between the commitments she made and how she feels.

That means sometimes (not all the time) she would give excuses to avoid sex, intimacy and affection with you.

She may not even realize that she is doing this.

10, She Comes off as a Roommate

Your worst nightmare right?

If she was in love with you, she would be all over you leaking you from head to toe.

But she has been spending a lot of time in alternative rooms of your house instead of with you.

So in actuality, it can be worse than being a roommate. Don’t focus too much energy on this because it’s a symptom.

You need a root cause analysis and the focus on fixing the cause. She is not a roommate; she is only acting like one.

11, Every Expression Feels Like Nagging

You can feel it and you know it

…and recognize the negative vibes in that in the past few weeks whenever she is expressing her emotions to you.

It almost feels like she’s always blaming you for everything but you can’t put your hands on what the issue is.

She has fallen out of love.

12, She’s Highly Sarcastic & Condescending 

“So you won’t take the garbage out tonight again right?”

The tone of that question reveals it as a direct attack against your character; maybe that’s a stretch but…

Compare that to…

“Babe, do you mind getting that garbage out tonight?”

Which of these 2 scenarios showcases a woman who is in love with you?

13, Indifferent and/or Not Jealous

If your woman is still jealous, she is still somewhat in love with you at least. But you don’t want her to be numb to your behaviors.

“I don’t care.”

Yes she does but it’s a cry out for you to see that she does care; you have not been paying attention.

What you really don’t want is her getting into a head space where she doesn’t care and also doesn’t care enough to share that she doesn’t care.

If that happens, she’s lost respect and effectively, love for you… at least now.

14, She Glows More When Around Strangers

Not only does she seem unhappy; she shows you by glowing extra ordinarily when around complete strangers… not necessarily intentionally.

If that happens one time… no big deal but when it happens consistently, she has fallen out of love but there is hope.

15, No Gists After Getting Off the Phone

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

She finishes speaking to a friend on the phone right in front of you, hung up and didn’t say a word about who it was.

Naturally, we share…

“That was Amy; she says hello.”

If she stops sharing, she’s essentially saying you can go to hell.


It is very important to keep in mind that it works against your desires to take these 15 signs too seriously and make them a bigger deal than they actually are.

Whatever is going on is temporary and these are symptoms.

And all you have to do is focus on finding out the underlying causing reasons and adjusting accordingly to attract your wife back.

If you pay the symptoms more attention than necessary, you will more likely push your wife further away and potentially in the arms of another man.

It can’t happen to you?

Well, 70+% of divorces are initiated by women; someone’s wife.

If you want more of this, go to LOLAandOLA.com

And go download the book GET MY MARRIAGE BACK

Absolutely FREE!

If you are interested in a coaching session, just go under the product page at LOLAandOLA.com and I’ll see you at the top.

Frequently Asked Questions [F.A.Q]

The 1st way to know that your wife doesn’t love anymore is the fact that you are unsure about where she stands but I have 15 more signs you should know.

The 1st sign of 15 more signs that your wife doesn’t love anymore is your uncertainty about where she stands when it come to your marriage.

35 Warning Signs Your Wife is Cheating ❤️

By the very fact that you are seeking this information, I would assume that you already have your suspicions about your wife cheating.

I am sorry that you are going through that.

It’s gotta be a painful place to find yourself and your marriage.

A part of me wants to suggest that you trust your instinct but another part wants me to warn you of the blurry or fine line between unhealthy insecurity and your suspicions.

Once you embark on these types of feelings about your wife’s level of faithfulness, it’s very hard to go back.

In essence, the mind is very delicate and it’s hard to resist the urge to find more information to confirm your suspicion once your inclination is already in that space.

WARNING! These 35 exhausted signs are not equivalent to absolute truth. 

If you treat it as such, you can potentially destroy your relationship with a good woman in the case where she had been innocent.

I would encourage you to find clarity between your suspicion and insecurities as you explore the possibilities that your wife is cheating on you.  

But they can also overlap or both can be true at the same time.

These 35 signs below are just that; signs.  

There are many times that any individual sign or even combination does not necessarily mean that your wife is cheating.

So be cautious with what you do with this information.

The pain associated with betrayal from a wife, partner or spouse is terrible and can seem unbearable.

But I assure you that whatever it is will make you stronger if and only if you don’t take her responsibilities with yours.

You are just as responsible because we are talking about a relationship but keep in mind that a choice is made for every time a person cheats.

If you play the blame game, it will result in feelings of guilt trip and your feelings just get hurt and worse.

What is Cheating in a Marriage?

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Cheating is beyond sexual activities. 

That just happens to be the most popular and considered to be the most hurtful by most people.

It means that your wife is involved in activities she wouldn’t want you to know about because, precisely, it will hurt your feelings if you find out.

If any one of the signs below becomes one of 18 other signs on the list, it would be possible indication that your wife is up to some bad behaviors.

However, any one sign as a stand alone can also have 1,000 other reasons outside of cheating or infidelity.

These are some signs that “may” indicate that your wife is cheating on you.

1, She Changed Her Passwords

There are, of course, many other reasons why your wife may have changed her passwords or passcodes for social media and smart devices.

If she is also involved in extra marital affairs, she would also want to cover her tracks on the various communication channels.

This is especially true if she had never password protected in the past or if she had always shared the information.

With that being said, privacy and a sense of individuality can be very healthy for your relationship with your wife as it can improve a sense of freedom.

2, She accuses you of cheating.

As humans, we tend to project our belief systems on others.

If your wife has never caught you in a cheating act of any type 

But somehow concludes at accusing you of cheating, there is a good chance that she is projecting her guilt on you as blame.

Guilt, blame and condemnation tend to work hand in hand and that’s usually against the idea of a healthy relationship.

If she’s engaged in cheating behavior, it’s only natural that she would believe other people are just like that. 

It’s a self-justification mechanism.

3, She removed your family name from her social media profiles.

If your wife changed her name to your family name when you got married and has recently changed her last name or surname on social media, 

That’s a red flag.

If you have been experiencing problems in your relationship with her in recent times, then this will probably not mean anything more than you already know.

But if it happened out of nowhere, the act in itself is already a form of rebellion and can be an indication that she is receiving unhealthy external attention.

4, She suddenly started going straight to the shower when she came home.

Even if your wife is only engaged in emotional affairs, she can feel dirty mentally.

So you can imagine if she’s getting physical with another man.  

This could mean anything or a one-of occasion and it definitely doesn’t mean much if she’s always done this.

But it can mean a whole lot, including cheating if it’s complete new behavior along with 17 other other signs.

5, She was diagnosed with STD

A sexually transmitted disease (STD) can also be transferred between very faithful couple 

…but  it can also be a sign of cheating if it correlates with 17 or more other signs.

6, She claims you are not making her happy

It is not your responsibility to make your wife happy; all you can do is love her.

But if you are married to a person who doesn’t know that, one of the first signs she may show if she is or about to cheat is…

…actually say it out that you no longer make her happy.

If she doesn’t know that making her happy is not your responsibility, she is weak and at least capable of cheating.

7, She doesn’t post pictures of you on social media anymore.

The keyword there is “anymore.”

If she has never posted you online in the past, bringing this up will attract negative and toxic energy into your relationship.

But if this is recent behavior, this is more of a sign that your wife is not proud of the relationship she has with you but can also represent a sign of your worst fears.

8, She avoids some restaurants

If you are taking your wife out and in recent times, you noticed that she is suddenly avoiding certain favorite restaurant,

That’s bad news… man.

She may have been hanging out at the same restaurant with a new boyfriend…


Maybe she’s just discovered that she is allergic to these particular restaurants’ food.

9, She wants to try new sex moves

What kind of a faithful wife suddenly starts a desire for explicit sex stunts in the bedroom?

She is likely to have tried it with a possible new fling and wants to see if you are capable of making her stop wanting to see him.

This is another sign you probably should pay close attention to.

She couldn’t just be wanting to spice things up between the two of you right?

It must be that she’s just up to no good.

10, She calls you by another name in bed

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Wow… women can be cruel.  

If she called you another man’s name while giving it to her enough to be screaming, wouldn’t that mean she was thinking about the other guy at that moment?

But she could also just be actively trying to use role play or her movie crush to spice things up for you all in the bedroom.

Who knows?

11, She stays late at work 

Your wife may be staying extra late at work for many reasons including the reason she claims.

But what are the chances that she has been taking advantage of this excuse to cheat on you with a coworker?

It’s probably wise to ask her how her days go and use that opportunity to listen to sneaky hidden details.

12, She suddenly wants girls trip

There is nothing wrong with a girls trip for your wife but everything can go wrong at those girls trips right?

What types of friends want to remove a wife from her home for 3-5 days in a row?

Be careful here because restricting her may work against the goals you are trying to achieve.

13, Unusual expenses

If, in recent times, you’ve noticed unusual expenses on your wife’s personal bank account, ask yourself…

What were you looking for on her personal bank account?  

If these expenses have been made at a motel around the corner from her job, it is exactly what you think it is. 

Is it?

At least, you will end up reacting accordingly.

14, On toilet for longer periods with the phone

You’ve noticed that she has been hanging out a lot in the bathroom claiming to be pooping.

Maybe you can set up cameras in that bit*h and find out what she’s up to.

Or she could just be playing games on her phone… 

There are only 2.5 ways to find out.

15, She doesn’t say “I Love You” Anymore

This right here depends on if she used to and then suddenly has stopped.

Could it be that she is falling out of love with you? If that’s the case, she must surely be falling for the person she’s cheating with right?


16, She consistently lies

Obviously a liar will steal; that’s what we learned as kids growing up in Africa.

Never mind white lies and the fact that most human beings do it every now and then.

Your wife is not most people, she is cheating on you if she lies consistently.

She is practicing for when she will need to lie to you about her secret boyfriend… that’s not making sense right?

17, Too many friends you’ve never met

What is she hiding her friends for?

She must be using these people who you don’t know to hide her bad cheating behaviors.

Or you get very jealous about the fact that she has a private life outside of you and that makes you get very defensive.

I am sure you have concluded that it must be the former.

18, She hugs up on doing the laundry

The clothes must be smelling of disgusting cheating activities in the dirty laundry.  

She probably doesn’t want you to detect it.

19, She treats you like a friend

You just found out that you have been friend-zoned in your own home by your own wife.

Energy is neither created nor destroyed; so where has she been channeling that energy?

To a secret boyfriend?

…or women can shut down if they don’t feel safe and secure?  

What do you think?

20, Hangs out longer in front of the mirror

I am sure you are wondering who she is trying to look good to impress when she has in fact walked around the house stank all these years.

21, She asks weird questions about cheating

That must mean she is either already cheating on you or at least considering it.

What are weird questions? 

Are they designed to reverse psychology the guilt back on you?

22, She is always angry around you

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

It couldn’t possibly be that she is simply not happy about the relationship.

The only reason in this world why she could be angry is that she is or wants to cheat on you.

23, She opened a different bank account

But why?  

Why can’t you just have one joint account as a married couple?  

It must be because she’s a cheater and she wants to make secret spendings.

Or everyone still needs a level of individuality?

24, She cheated before

“Once a cheater, always a cheater.” 

Ever heard that before?

If considered that people do grow from bad behavior, it creates a different angle for this conversation entirely… right?

25, She avoids your friends

It could be that your friends have already caught her in the midst of bad behavior and she’s avoiding them.

She could also outrightly not like your friends and can’t stand being around them.

26, Drastic change in Sexual Desires

If she suddenly gets turned off from being intimate with you, she must be channeling that to a secret boyfriend.

On the flip side, if she suddenly wants to start having sex like rabbits, she must be learning from somewhere… a secret boyfriend?

27, She removed her relationship status from social media

Of course, she did.

She wouldn’t want her secret fling to get jealous of the type of love you are showing her at home.

28, She attempts to spend important holidays without you

She is in love with a secret boyfriend so she’d rather spend valentine’s with the person she is in love with.

Don’t forget that she still loves you at least; she is just not in love with you any longer.

29, She gains sudden desire to go to the gym

Why must she look good and fit suddenly after all this time that she hasn’t cared to look good for you? 

She must be up to no good.

She could also be finding and discovering her better self by investing in some fitness effort.

30, Replies your text messages in one-word

A woman who is in love with you tends to want to share everything with you even when they are not the talker in the relationship.

So if she just responds with one-word answers, you may find yourself wondering what she is up to with the rest of the time.

A secret boyfriend? Maybe?

31, She references friends you’ve never met

The real question is why won’t she just bring or invite them around for you to meet?

As a married person, do you really need to keep a separate life outside your marriage or spouse?

32, Her phone is always silent

If her phone rang out loud every time she receives those evil texts, how would she keep it a secret?  

That can ruin the excitement she gets from her secret affairs.

So it makes sense that she would silence the phone so that you won’t randomly pick up and find out the obvious.

33, She claims to be too busy to talk on the phone when she is at work

This is similar to the one-word text replies.

What happened to the good ol’ days when she couldn’t wait to talk to you on the phone?

Clearly all that energy could be going somewhere inappropriate.

34, She asked you for space

What does a married woman need space for?

Married women are supposed to be virtuous women of God and never get tired or too lazy to carry the emotional weight of a marriage.

After-all, she is a supper woman.

35, She takes every opportunity to not be around you

She hates you now; she is cheating.


Syke… lol

If you are in a state of reviewing this and actually find it as prophetic as opposed to the sarcastic piece that it is, you deserve a wife who is cheating on you.

There is a good chance that you have enabled her bad behaviors if in fact, she is cheating… 

She may not be cheating at all; but she obviously is not in love with you.

You should focus on learning these terrible insecurity you have just displayed here 

…and build yourself because you are about to push your wife away forever with your fear.

In life, you attract what you fear the most.

On the flip side, if you have paid attention to none or just a few of these 35 (many times just normal) behaviors, congratulations as you have a better chance of working on and getting your marriage back.

Don’t worry about blank suspicions and signs that are obviously not backed by facts. Focus on attracting her back in love with you.

A woman who is in love does not leave, and damn sure has no room for affection physically or emotionally with another person.

If you want more of this, go to LOLAandOLA.com

And go download the book GET MY MARRIAGE BACK

Absolutely FREE!

If you are interested in a coaching session, just go under the product page at LOLAandOLA.com and I’ll see you at the top.

Frequently Asked Question [FAQ]

There are 35 signs we have identified but there is no single one that can be a good indicator. You will need at least 18 of the warning signs here to call a red flag.

If you suspect that your wife is cheating, you need to seek counseling and find out why you would attract a cheater as a wife before doing anything else.

It sounds like you have not caught her red-handed which means there is a good chance that you are showcasing insecurity. If you are so sure, refocus back on finding out why you would be attracting a cheater as a wife.


Question: “Is PHYSICAL A Worse Offense Than EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY?”

So John Gray got caught basically, and there is a video of him coming out talking to a side chick about his wife…

that the wife only gives pizza to the babies for dinner.

I don’t understand why men put their wives down.

Who cares if your wife is feeding you pizza in the house?

If you don’t like it you get in the kitchen or if you had a problem with that, why didn’t you talk to me?

Maybe I am not the easiest to talk to, but then maybe you can get yourself in the kitchen or come up with ideas…

Like getting a chef that would cook for us on a daily basis.

On one of John Gray’s Videos he said:

“This was not physical or sexual. I’ve only ever been with one woman, that is my wife.”

What do we have to say about that?

Saying that he is not physical but he is emotional, what difference does he make?

You are talking to another woman and being emotional is just like you already slept with a person…

because everywhere that your wife has been with you, they get to experience that.

You have bared your heart to this person.

Is Physical a worse offense than emotional infidelity?

If you have an emotional affair and that’s all you did and then you got caught, dude you missed out.

You might as well sleep with the person because you are going to receive equal amounts of scrutiny.

It’s just as bad.

You are going to hurt that person just as much, if not more because now you are going to be telling her that “I’ve never slept with this person”.

Now they are gonna look at you like a liar because they will never believe you.

They will punish you that much more because they are thinking in their head “no you already slept with this person”.

I mean honestly how would they know?

They weren’t there with you.

So if you were already sharing intimate conversations with your side chick and trying to bring her to the same hotel where you and your wife would go…

You might as well just have slept with the lady so you could just say “you know you are right. I slept” so you could get away quickly…

PREVIOUS POST: “What Do You Do When Someone REJECTS Your APOLOGY?”📍 John Gray

And maybe she will accept your apology a lot faster.

You are in the worst place when you truthfully haven’t slept with that person.

It’s the truth but she is not gonna believe you and your punishment will be twice.

So if you are going to apologize at all, the last thing you want to bring up is “it wasn’t physical”.

Dude, it doesn’t matter if it was physical or not… and pastor John Gray should know better.

Bottom line is that you are exchanging these intimate moments that are only designed for you and your wife… you broke that trust.

It’s the trust that you broke, that is the issue and not what really happened physically.

She doesn’t care if you slept with that person or not.

In fact, you putting that in the midst of your apology is making things worse.

So, Is Physical a worse offense than emotional infidelity?

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If that’s the question, it’s backwards… emotional is worse because you are going to get punished that much.

Even in terms of wasting all that energy on emotion, you might as well just go all in.

Once you start lusting after that, you have already sinned.

John Gray needs to get it together when it comes to that and I understand the pressure of being a pastor and also being human…

But that’s the part where you couldn’t stop walking.

The pressure has to be a lot more because he is a pastor.

And then he was saying that his wife does not feed them anything else but pizzas…

Come on, why are you saying these things about your wife?

Why are you painting your wife bad?

Is it to get empathy from your side chick or something?

I don’t understand.

This is common in some men, I won’t say all men because not all men do that…

some men, they will trash their wife just so they can get sympathy pussy.

If you have to trash one woman to get another woman, you don’t have a gain and you are a sorry case.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

That’s something that even young men who are not necessarily married should know.

Like if you broke up with somebody, always be good to them because they came into your life for a reason, you chose them.

So when you start speaking bad of them, you are speaking of yourself.

Like I said, it’s a lack of gain when you do that.

But some people are in a weak place, when they are engaged in an emotional affair.

Like a lot of people until they bring a baby into this world, they actually always had no intention of doing it.

If the devil approaches us with intentions, all of us will be perfect if we just make sure we have good intentions right.

Good intentions are overrated for a reason because the devil knows like “you don’t have that intention, but you are lacking emotionally somewhere”

so he is going to bring someone who is going to fill that gap.

Then when that person fills that gap, you are still gonna be in denial like, “no I would never do that”

… and just wait and wait and wait until you are comfortable enough and admit that it really did happen.

“How Do I APOLOGIZE for HURTING My Wife?”📍 John Gray

Question: “How do I apologize for hurting my wife?

John Gray is in the hot seat right now and is probably hoping that this whole thing will die down but he is not helping either because he issued an apology and I think we should play the apology first before we get into anything .

Here is John Gray’s apology:

I wanna take this moment to tell you I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the areas of my life that I left unattended. That I was apathetic about. The areas where I have treated the calling of God, the grace of God and a hand of God casually in my life. For every area of behavior that has dishonor the holiness of God, I wanna tell you I’m sorry. There have been a number of things and blogs, some of them accurate, some of it not…

His apology maybe is the right thing to do because he is a pastor in the church.

But talking to his wife, it just feels like it will cause more embarrassment.

For me, I don’t like the loud noise.

That’s bringing so much attention to us so in the moment we should shut it down.

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Let’s be quiet in the moment…

How do I apologize for hurting my wife?

What’s the right way to do that?

I don’t think you need to apologize to your wife in public… that can be done privately.

Apologizing in public is just an immediate reaction trying to save face, especially when the issues are so fresh right?

One thing you don’t want to do is feeding to the media,

… like right now they are talking about you and the next thing you wanna do is “Oh I’m sorry… blah blah blab

The natural thing to do is want to react so I feel that he should have just left that for the moment and deal with his issues privately.

Church, yes because he is a pastor and I understand that he needs to say something, but I don’t like the public.

Well maybe the wife likes that, or she prefers that, but I don’t know because there are different kinds of women.

Some women can be like “you know what you dragged me out there, then I want you to apologize to me publicly“.

For me personally it doesn’t help.

I always come from the standpoint of “you are right”.

If you think you are right, you are right!… like who am i?, I don’t have the right to tell you you are not right.

That’s applicable to everything in life including relationship, marriage, apologies or whatever.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

If you feel like the right thing for you to do is to apologize, then you are right…

Now is that going to create the result you want, that is the story that we really should be talking about.

See, if you are worried about whether it is the right thing to do or not, you are always right.

Whatever you feel is right is right.

Is that gonna create the result that you’re looking to achieve, that’s where the work is and that’s where a lot of people miss it.

With that being said, the only time it will be right for you to tender an apology to either a wife or husband or anybody is when that person is asking for it.


Because you listen, that person is asking for it.

So if the person is asking for it and you truly feel that you should apologize, and there is nothing wrong with apologizing but if you are tendering an apology as a form of reaction to being called out.

You just got called out… you did something wrong and you just want to fix it immediately for the misery to go away.

The first thing that goes to your mind is to say I’m sorry.

That I’m sorry is gonna do more hurt.

It can be considered manipulation because you are manipulating.

That apology will hurt more than it will help you create the result you are looking for.

So, How Do I APOLOGIZE for HURTING my wife?

Well, first of all the best apology is Changed Behavior.

That’s gonna take time so there’s time and patience involved.

That means they may not be willing to hear you out right now, the best thing you want to do is stay away from giving them your mouth in every way that you can think of.

You stay away from that.

Let things calm down.

Let things simmer before you give apologies.

That’s why the apology that John Gray gave is premature.

It cannot possibly be authentic because it’s a reaction form of apology…

but how do I apologize for hurting my wife?


Changed Behavior.

Take your time.

If she asks for an apology, then you can tender that in the form of words but the best apology is not words.

Your apology in the form of words is a lot more useful when the person is asking for it.

What is Infidelity ❤️ Does it Make Marriage a Mistake⁉️

What is infidelity? In a marriage…

When one party engages in intimate relationships with a person outside of the marriage.

Some call it cheating… some call it an affair, and others call it Infidelity.

Study shows some statistics below… How common is infidelity?

  • 20% of men reported that they cheated sexually
  • 13% of women reported that they cheated sexually
  • 16% of ALL ADULTS reported that they cheated sexually

But under age 30, the numbers are different.

  • 10% of men under 30 reported that they cheated sexually
  • 11% of women under 30 reported that they cheated sexually

General Social Survey 2010–2016 by the National Opinion Research Council – University of Chicago

via PsychologyToday.com

Keep in mind that these are just the reported; a whole lot more will take that secret to their graves.

What is Infidelity in a Marriage? DEADLY

But what I can tell you is that betrayal is human characteristic…

And you should have proper expectations of humans when you marry one.

It is important to NOT lead into marriage with

….the daily fear of cheating, affairs, or infidelity.

That won’t help you.

This is one of those aspects of a marriage where you need God or whatever helps you maintain divine peace.

In addition, an affair can either be physical or emotional; and off course it can be a hybrid of both.

Whether infidelity represents the end of or deal breaker in a marriage is not a rule anywhere.

It completely depends on the parties and the uniqueness of their relationship and the underlying friendship.

Below is a question for us to address matters of infidelity in a marriage once and for all…

“I need to stop being negative and nagging.

I need to learn to listen to him and respect him.

He’s talking about this marriage might be a mistake; I need lots of prayer.”

Just keep in mind that respect, trust and submission are earned.

Enjoy the video.

Get My Marriage Back | Paperback/Kindlebook | FREE Audiobook

Before we dive into more details about infidelity…

Let’s answer the question as it will help with fundamentals.

In order to survive a crisis in any type of relationships

(especially a marriage), you can’t afford to undermine the power of an overall positive attitude.

Therefore if you are dealing with a negative and/or shutdown spouse, it will take a tremendous emotional energy to maintain your cool.

As I said earlier, respect is earned.

Just as trust and submission, all these actions are driven in a marriage as effects and not a cause.

Sure you can deliberately initiate them.

But it will eventually drain you emotionally if you are not aware of the underlying attraction level that initially brought you and you spouse together.

That is to say, if you are not presently attracted to your husband, it won’t last much long if you force yourself to respect him.

So in the long run, you need to address the cause of the low attraction level.

You have to also respect and love yourself enough to attract the type of love you deserve from your spouse.

It is natural for couples to go through this over time as complacency kicks in.

So I am saying that it is natural to take each other for granted over-time.

Is your marriage a mistake?

There is no relationship that is a mistake and here is why.

Every relationship you engage in your life must be regarded as an opportunity to grow.

It’s part of the interpretations you must add to your efforts of positive attitude.

Because that energy will drive a lot more other actions that will drive your spouse to do right by you.

Subsequently, it will propagate energy that will attract the types of relationship and may be another marriage that will serve you.

Can we agree that the marriage you have right now is bad especially if infidelity is involved?

Therefore it’s time to build a brand-new marriage with or without the same and present spouse.

That attitude gives you your best chance of attracting your present spouse to do right by you if that’s in fact what you want.

Effectively, if you lead with the attitude that it “MUST” be the same spouse,

Your desperate energy will push him or her away further.

Sure we all need prayer.

The scripture says….

“Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.”

James 2:17 New King James Version (NKJV)

The Real Meaning of Infidelity

The truth of the matter is that infidelity is involved whenever a promise is broken in your marriage.

It doesn’t have to be sexual in nature.

Therefore, any type of promise that was made in your vows no matter how little is seems will result in infidelity.

What is the difference between infidelity and adultery?

Adultery is more specific of a way to describe sexual related betrayal in a marriage.

But it’s an effect.

In order to fix adultery as one of the many types of infidelity, we have to go deeper into causes; Root Cause Analysis.

Of course it’s easier to point the most fingers at the person who engaged sexually with another outside of the marriage.

Most of the infidelity that happens in marriages has nothing to do with sexual behaviors.

However all of the different types of infidelities create resentments and complacency over-time.

For example, if you promised to be there for richer or poorer…

But then catch attitude last week because he was broke financially, that’s a form of infidelity.

In addition, catching negative attitude in the midst of any crisis does not solve it; it expands the emotional effect of it.

So, you’d agree that marriage has probably been infected with infidelity and needs work right?

I am by no means telling you that cheating or having an affair outside of the marriage is any easier to deal with.

All I am saying is that those types tend to be the most obvious to judge people with.

It’s very important that you use that to adjust your perspective in order to attract the love and marriage that you deserve.

Judgment, guilt, and blame will harm you, your relationships and especially any children involved.

Therefore you have to rise above the obvious emotions such anger, resentments, rage that you will naturally feel…

If you are on the receiving end of an infidelity.

That’s going to take work, but it’s doable and it’s your best shot at attracting happiness again.

So should you Stay in the Marriage After Infidelity?

It depends on your particular relationship.

If it’s taking you more than 3 months to at least forgive, you probably should consider separation first.

Because it’s not helpful for any of the parties for the other to live in mystery.

Time apart may just be what you need to appreciate life, the marriage or both again.

That same time apart may help a perpetual adulterer make a decision to nurture what they value…

And have clarity of where he or she belongs (with you or someone else).

Having out in that dark spot for longer than 3 month tends to create more and more emotional damage in you, your spouse and even any children that may be involved.

But marriage is usually not easy to just throw away.

If it was easy, you probably would not have that question.

Ask yourself this question however…

Are you running from your problems obviously entangled up in infidelity right now?

As I have said, the problem is deeper than the effects

Of which some of them are cheating, affairs and infidelity.

Minimum of 50% of this (though not your fault) is your problem.

So if your quick solution is to leave the marriage, you will effectively take 50% of the problem with you.

Hence why 76% of marriages to divorces ends in about 2 years according to many studies.

It will help you ensure that you work on yourself before concluding that leaving is the solution.

How to Practically Rebuild Trust Even After Infidelity

When you first met your spouse, it was natural to trust because attractions high.

It’s easy to be in love and trust a person that you truly don’t know.

The reality is that you couldn’t possible love them though.

That trust was fake in essence.

Now that you are dealing with the after effects and emotions from infidelity, the real work is needed.

Anything that’s worthwhile in life will take work.

It was never practical to trust another human at the level that we do in a marriage.

That’s why I always say, people that say ‘I do’ don’t know what they are doing.

It doesn’t even matter how much pre-marital counseling you have before, you simply couldn’t comprehend what you were about to do.

So I get it

Trust can be hard to rebuild once it has been breached by a spouse but it’s do able.

But, I have to tell.

Holding your marriage and specially your happiness hostage because of trust issues will not help you.

Here are some scriptures that warned you about trust and its application to infidelity recovery…

It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.

Psalm 118:8 ESV

Thus says the Lord: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord.

Jeremiah 17:5 ESV

You are not even supposed to trust yourself; much less another person.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV

Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.

Proverbs 28:26 ESV


It’s natural for you to feel hurt and wallow in the mystery of it for a while.

But it’s time for you to realize that you deserve happiness and take the bulls by the horn.


Leave all your trust issues in the hands of God and start living.

That’s easier said than done but hearing it or reading it from me might as well be the first step in the right direction.

Infidelity can be emotional and even more painful.

Is an adulterer always an adulterer?

You’ve heard the saying, “once a cheater always a cheater.”

That’s absolutely an impossible lie.

It’s a lie that can hold you hostage even long after your spouse has repented due to…

A larger purpose than the seduction and excitement they may have derived from their past transgression.

Here is a quick 2 step-solution to that.

  1. Do the work that will attract him or her to re-commit back into a brand-new marriage with you.
  2. Let go and forgive yourself for attracting the old marriage.
  3. Enjoy your new marriage one day at a time.

As you can see, none of the step has anything to do with putting the focus on fixing your spouse.

The work must be done from the inside to attract what you want on the outside.

What is the main reason for infidelity?

Of course in the long term, loyalty will benefit and create joy as opposed to short-term excitement.

But People cheat mainly for a lack of a larger purpose than the pleasure and excitement of secrecy.

It’s a choice but it’s also a choice that most humans are never too holy to make.

Most people just need the right circumstances to align to find themselves choosing pleasure over loyalty in the short term.

10+ Causes of Infidelity

Circumstances can include but not limited to:

  1. Not receiving enough attention from the significant other,
  2. Inappropriate engagement with friendly acquaintances,
  3. Low self esteem
  4. Immaturity
  5. Background and childhood trauma
  6. Belief system
  7. Low attraction
  8. Unmatched libido level
  9. Retaliation for past transgression

(10) 12…Principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Ephesians 6:12, King James Version

But it’s never your fault when your significant other makes a choice to have an affair.

However you may have helped create one of the circumstances that align the opportunity for short-term human excitement.

They could have also chosen to rise above.

But judgment, blame, and guilt or self-guilt won’t help.

It’s time to understand “WHY” at a deeper level and attract an infidelity free brand new marriage.

The best chances of a lifetime joy is with a repented spouse because you are now both equipped with knowledge

Which becomes power when you both apply to a daily loving marriage for the rest of your lives.

Treat it on a daily basis…

Because obsession with the past and tomorrow will drown your relationships and especially your marriage.

Marriage counseling can help a great deal with communication skills… but check out the success statistics of marriage counseling here

If friendship with an opposite sex that you are personally friends with, an ex or a blast from the past is involved,

Respect yourself by allowing your spouse to go and sort that out before starting your brand-new marriage with them.

No one with healthily give you what you can’t give yourself.

Therefore if you can’t love and respect yourself, your spouse can’t love and respect you.


Are you having a difficult time getting your spouse or the person you love on the same page?

Is your dream to build a happily ever after life heading down the drains?

I know...

The harsh reality is that the happiness in your marriage may be over...


"Can it be saved?"

...And maybe you still even live in the house with your spouse as roommates, barely any sex or intimacy and probably in denial.

I get it.

You wonder...

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You know you didn't bargain for such a painful experience.

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There’s nothing worse than being in a marriage you thought was ordained by God and feeling like you are in eternal bondage and it seems there will never be an end.

It feels very dark in your matrimonial home and you can’t even share your ordeal with anyone.

You try so many moves to save your marriage but your spouse just doesn’t care anymore;

...you feel as though he/she is no more the person you married.

Finally, you thought may be you should communicate more

But the very act of communication digs deeper and deeper holes of arguments, fights, emotional aches and more.

Exhausted, you share your experience with your family and now the whole family is in feud;

Your parents, siblings, on both sides of the family etc.

They have all caught feelings.

You wonder if your kids will have a home with both parents 6 months from now... it feels like no one cares or ever cared.

If you feel a connection to this reality at any level, I feel your pain.

We know what that feels like.

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Whatever "destroyed marriage" means in your imagination, we've been through it and it was basically impossible to fix our marriage.

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Marriage is not a partnership and it's takes more than common sense.

I'm sure you are a smart person because you found your way here.

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