Broken Marriage?
Fix it
Here FREE

Get My Marriage Back


Marriage Counseling – Can It Help Alleviate Your Relationship Stress?

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but marriage counseling can help if you feel like it’s not working.

Marriage counselors can be individuals with long-term experience (10 years or more) in marriage with ups and downs.

They can also be psychologists or marriage and family therapists who have graduated with degrees in marriage counseling or marriage therapy.

They are trained to work with couples to improve their relationship, strengthen trust, manage conflict and resolve problems that may be causing the marriage tension.

Marriage Counseling

Counseling has helped many couples find new approaches to solving old problems by teaching them how to communicate more effectively…

…about what they want from each other, listen better, make compromises, avoid power struggles, understand each others’ needs for closeness and independence…

…set realistic goals for themselves as individuals and as a couple and learn how to forgive one another when mistakes happen.

Here Are Some of the Topics We’ll Go Through in this Post:

  1. Marriage Counseling In Detail
  2. How does Marriage Counseling Work
  3. Types of Marriage Counselors
  4. How marriage counseling can help alleviate marriage stress
  5. How to find Marriage Counselors near you?

Let’s get started…

Marriage Counseling in Detail

Marriage Counseling in Detail

This is a special type of therapy that involves marriage and one or more partners.

Counselors typically help couples work through issues they are experiencing in their marriage.

Counselors provide marriage advice to help couples improve their marriage and the underlying relationship.

They may offer therapy services as a marriage counselor, marriage and family therapists, cognitive-behavioral therapists, and more.

Some counselors will specialize in certain areas such as substance abuse and emotional or mental illness.

When looking for a family therapist, it is important to find someone who is licensed and qualified or a licensed clinical social worker.

For counseling and coaching, a license is not necessary but a regular married couple with experience is absolutely worth everything.

Many marriage counselors offer free consultation or training webinars so you have a meaningful encounter with the counselor and see if they are a good fit for you.

Couples counseling can be very helpful in resolving issues in a marriage and improving the overall relationship.

It can provide couples with the tools they need to communicate better, manage conflict, and resolve problems.

If you are experiencing some relationship issues, couples counseling may be the solution for you.

Although marriage counseling is often seen as a last resort, it can be a very effective way to save a marriage that is in trouble.

If you and your spouse are considering couples therapy, here are some things you should know.

1. Marriage counseling is not just for legally married couples who are on the brink of divorce.

It can also be helpful for any type of couple who are struggling with communication issues or who have been married for a long time and want to revitalize their relationship.

2. Marriage counseling is not cheap.

It can be expensive, depending on your location. 

For instance, marriage counseling in New York City is more expensive than marriage counseling in Dallas.

However, it may be worth the investment, especially if it helps you to save your marriage.

I can guarantee you that divorce is much more expensive than marriage counseling.

3. Marriage counseling is typically used to involve meeting one-on-one or in a group setting.

These days, a lot can be done even more productively via virtual meetings, workshops, and seminars.

4. There are different kinds of marriage counseling.

You and your spouse may want to consider individual sessions or marriage counseling with a friend or relative in attendance as support.

We recommend personal individual marriage counseling sessions for you as 80% of the work you want to do or risk wasting money on treating marriage counseling as an argument platform.

How Does Marriage Counseling Work

How Does Marriage Counseling Work

When it comes to marriage counseling, there are a few different methods that might be used.

The most common one is cognitive behavioral therapy, which focuses on helping people identify and change the thoughts and behaviors that are causing them problems.

Other common methods include marriage and family therapy, which helps to address family conflict, and emotionally focused therapy.

It helps couples to understand and manage their emotional responses to each other.

Some family therapists also offer online therapy, which can be a great option for people who live far away from a therapist or who don’t feel comfortable meeting in person.

Online therapy is also a good choice for people who want to remain anonymous or who don’t have enough money to pay for traditional therapy.

You get to save money, energy, and resources while potentially creating even better results due to heightened engagement with the process.

One thing to keep in mind when choosing a marriage counselor is that not all of them are licensed or clinical social workers.

If you’re looking for someone who has specific training in marriage and family therapy, then you should make sure that the counselor you choose is licensed in that area.

Just keep in mind that a license is not the same thing as experience and experience is still the best teacher.

If you’re not sure whether couples therapy is right for you, many marriage counselors offer a free consultation or free virtual webinars to help you decide.

By contacting a marriage counselor, you might be able to learn how marriage counseling works and whether it’s right for you and your spouse’s emotional health.

Types of Marriage Counselors

There are marriage counselors that use different types of marriage counseling techniques and strategies.

Some offer treatment in their private practice while some work with people who seek marriage counseling through public service providers.

Some marriage counselors specialize in individual therapy and others specialize in couples therapy.

There are marriage counselors who provide couple counseling at their own pace and others who provide therapy on a schedule.

Marriage counselors also help people with multicultural issues, domestic violence, or other problems they might be encountering in their families.

Many marriage counselors have additional techniques and strategies that they can employ when needed to solve these problems.

There are many therapists available for relationship issues, but it is best to find a therapist that has certain qualifications beyond licenses and degrees.

Marriage has changed a lot in the past few decades.  Many licensed therapists are stuck on oil school concepts that only worked in the stone age.

Some Marriage Counselors Offer Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT, is a type of psychotherapy that is used to treat a variety of mental health disorders.

It is a short-term, goal-oriented therapy that focuses on the relationships between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Some marriage counselors are first responders, meaning that they are specially trained to deal with critical incidents and trauma.

They often provide therapy to people who have been through a traumatic experience such as a natural disaster, being in a car accident, or being a victim of crime.

Marriage counseling can help these individuals process the trauma they have experienced and move on with their lives.

Marriage counseling can also be helpful for relationships in general.

Many couples find marriage counseling to be a valuable treatment for improving their family trauma and conflict.

Marriage counseling can help couples address issues that are causing stress in their relationship and work through them to improve communication and conflict resolution.

If you are considering marriage counseling, it is very important to…

Do Your Research and Find a Marriage and Family Therapist or Services That You Can Trust,

Do Your Research and Find a Marriage and Family Therapist or Services That You Can Trust,

…marriage counselors that have expertise in marriage counseling, and those whose practice meets the goals you have for your marriage.

How Marriage Counseling Can Help Alleviate Marriage Stress

Most marriage counseling starts with the marriage counselor doing a marriage assessment.

The marriage therapist will then diagnose what is happening in the marriage and work to build on any strengths that are present.

The marriage therapist will also examine how each spouse’s past has influenced their marriage.

Psychotherapy is also used to help couples build on their relationship by teaching them some new ways to communicate best with one another.

Marriage counseling can be a big help in alleviating marriage anxiety because it can allow both spouses to discuss their feelings openly and find ways of solving their problems together.

It is often effective because the marriage counselor doesn’t have any personal agendas or biases.

Private practice marriage counselors are trained in different therapeutic approaches, including couple’s therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, narrative therapy, transactional analysis, humanistic psychotherapy, and many more.

The marriage counselor will also help teach couples how to communicate with each other effectively by listening to one another and healthily discussing their feelings.

Marriage counseling is also helpful because it allows the marriage therapist to diagnose what is causing stress and problems in the marriage.

This information can be used therapeutically to build on any strengths present within the marriage, as well as find ways of alleviating marriage stress.

Relationship issues cannot be fixed easily since it takes effort from both of them to make this work.

Hopping from one therapist to another is not a solution, so you must find the right therapy services that can help you and your partner.

Many marriage counselors offer their services at an affordable price, so there is no need to worry about that.

The following are some of the ways marriage counseling can help:

The following are some of the ways marriage counseling can help:

1. Provide couples with advice on how to deal with conflict.

2. Help couples learn how to communicate better with each other.

3. Help couples in treating anxiety and with their anger management.

How to find Marriage Counselors Near You?

The easiest way to find marriage counselors near you is to use an online search engine like Google.

Marriage counselors are usually listed by name, address, and phone number.

You can also look in the phone book or ask your insurance company for marriage counseling providers.

If marriage counselors near you are not listed on any of these places, contact a mental health agency and inquire about marriage counseling options.

If you cannot afford how much it costs, try to find marriage therapists who offer sliding scale payment programs.

Some marriage counselors provide free consultation on initial sessions after which they will discuss fees with their patients.

Some marriage counselors provide free consultation on initial sessions after which they will discuss fees with their patients.

Mental health agencies may only charge based upon what their clients can afford to pay.

Mental health agencies tend to be less expensive than private practices but may not offer individual therapy (rather in group sessions).

Remember that many therapists and mental health professionals offer free consultations via phone or in-person

…so you can get more information on the nearest marriage counselors and their practice.

Marriage counselors may include: 

  1. Marriage therapists
  2. Marriage counselors
  3. Marriage social workers
  4. Marriage psychologists
  5. Marriage psychotherapists
  6. Marriage rehabilitation specialists
  7. Marriage consultants
  8. Marriage counselors and 
  9. Marriage coaches with real-life experiences in marriage.

You can search for marriage counseling providers using any of these titles or the more general term mental health counselor (MHC).

Mental Health Counselors are not regulated in most states so they could have a degree from an accredited school or one that is not accredited by the American Psychological Association or other governing body.

While there are no laws against calling oneself a therapist without proper license or training others who provide therapeutic services, they should be held accountable if their lack of qualifications causes harm to their clients.

When looking for a marriage counselor, it is important to find someone with whom you feel comfortable and who has experience treating the issues that you are facing.

Some marriage counselors specialize in certain areas such as substance abuse, anxiety, depression, or anger management.

While others focus on working with couples therapy or family conflict.

If you are considering marriage counseling, be sure to ask potential marriage counselors the following questions:

If you are considering marriage counseling, be sure to ask potential marriage counselors the following questions:
  • What kind of training or experience do you have in marriage counseling service?
  • Do you use any specific evidence-based approaches in your work?
  • Do you have a sliding scale payment program if marriage counseling is not covered by insurance?
  • Can I do marriage counseling sessions over the phone or online?
  • How often should we meet face to face?

Conclusion

Marriage counseling can be a great way to help alleviate marriage stress and the negative effects that individual differences have on both partners in a relationship.

They will provide you with marriage therapy that is tailored to your needs as well as any other issues in your relationship, such as parenting or finances.

Marriage therapists are not always able to solve problems, but they can work through them and teach spouses how to manage their emotional health responses

…so they don’t become an ongoing issue for the couple.

When deciding if marriage counseling is right for you, think about what you will gain from going into marriage therapy sessions:

Relief from marriage stress?

Relief from marriage stress?

Improved communication skills?

A more healthy partnership?

If these sound like things worth working towards then it might be time for a consultation with one of the marriage counselors near you.

Marriage counseling can be a great way for couples to learn how to communicate more effectively and work through marriage problems and issues.

You must find marriage counselors near you who are experienced in these matters, so don’t hesitate to ask questions about their qualifications before agreeing on setting an appointment time.

The marriage counselor will then help the couple decide what they need most from each other at this point – whether it is another chance or some space away from one another.

Due to the sensitivity of marriage counseling, many people prefer confidentiality during sessions with their therapist which means there may not be any phone numbers listed online for them to contact either person directly after therapy has ended.

However, given the sensitive nature of marriage counseling, if you want your spouse involved as well but they refuse, this could actually be a great advantage.

Another thing to consider is whether marriage counseling will be covered by your insurance or other company benefits that you use, as this may save you some money.

Marriage counseling is not cheap, but it can save a marriage.

Marriage counseling is not cheap, but it can save a marriage.  Divorce is much more expensive.

Marriage counselors are there to help couples find solutions for their problems so they don’t have to resort to divorce.

The cost of saving your marriage may be higher than you think at first glance, but the benefits that come with it are worth every penny spent on them.

If you or someone close to you is considering getting married, make sure this potential expense is accounted for in your budget before making any commitments.

With all of these important factors taken into consideration, it’s time to make an appointment with a marriage counselor near you today.

The success rate of marriage counseling depends on the type of marriage counseling, but most agree that 50% is too low.

A typical success rate for traditional couple counseling would be 10-50%. This varies depending on how severely distressed the couple is and if their desires are realistic (such as wanting to save a marriage where there will never be love). Premarital prevention programs have about a 25% success rate. A sliding scale can help identify people who may benefit from this program.

There are a few things you should never mention to a marriage counselor. For example, don’t talk about how much money your spouse makes, or how much you spent on the wedding. Don’t air your grievances about how your partner cleans or doesn’t clean enough. And don’t bring up any past indiscretions. Doing so will only make it more difficult for both of you to resolve the issues at hand.

There is a fair amount of evidence that suggests counseling can help marriages. A study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology found that spouses who participated in marital counseling were more likely to remain together after eight years than those who didn’t receive counseling. Counseling can help couples learn new skills, such as effective communication and problem-solving techniques, which can help them resolve conflicts before they become too damaging. It can also provide support and guidance during difficult times.

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as the effects of marriage counseling will vary depending on the couple’s specific situation and the therapist’s approach. However, in general, marriage counseling can be beneficial for many couples, as it can help them communicate better and resolve conflicts.

5 Reasons Why Your Wife Is Not Interested In You Sexually 💔

In this lesson, we are about to dive in through the story of a 28 years old guy

who is married to a 33 years old with a brand new baby and the blue balls syndrome.

Let’s call him Felix.

He writes…

“My wife and I have been together for about 6 years, married for 2 and we have an almost 1 year old child. 

My wife has had a reasonably exciting sexual past, and one thing that really stood out to me…

when we first started dating was how in control and proud of her sexuality she was. 

She was always full of confidence, dressed to impress and was unapologetic about going after anything she wanted, whether that was sexually or just for fun.”

Before I continue into this story, let me introduce myself.

My name is LOLA and I am the co-author of the book

GET MY MARRIAGE BACK 

…with my husband OLA

…which you can download for free at:

www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

You will also see an opportunity to book a free 30 minutes coaching session with us. 

My name is OLA.

So Felix continues to write…

“Due to our work, we sometimes spend significant periods of time apart. 

But the time apart was filled with dirty messages, photos and videos, and exploring fantasies, toys, lingerie and bondage ideas. 

I would send her over sex toys to use and she would send videos back (she couldn’t buy toys where she was). 

After a while (about 3 years ago), it didn’t just drop off, it stopped completely.”

So here goes the first reason…

Reason #5 – All Good Things Comes To An End

PREVIOUS POST: When to Give Up On Separation 💔 Average Length & Rebuilding Attraction

I know that may sound scary and discouraging when it comes to the prospect of marriage for young men.

But what are we referring to as the “thing” here?  That will be greatly dependent on how much of a man you are.

I want to assure you that it is a good thing when you are aware that good sexual explosive phases as a thing do come to end.

It’s how we are able to separate a good phase from a bad phase so that we can appreciate either of the phases better.

And do everything within our power to consistently seduce our wives.

You have a choice to decide if this particular good sexual explosive phase is coming to an end permanently or temporarily.

Let’s continue to read…

He continues…

“We married almost 2 years ago, and the only decent period of somewhat routine sex since then was when we were trying to have a child. 

Suddenly I was the bad guy when I wasn’t available on a particular evening because that’s when we were most likely to conceive,

completely ignoring the 12 months prior of me desperately trying to initiate some kind of intimacy. 

Priorities and our lives in general have changed a great deal since then, with our beautiful baby now the centre of our lives.

However, I’ve felt more and more like I’m just a passenger along for this ride with my wife and kid.”

Reason #4 – Playing Victim vs Engaging Power

Keep in mind as always that this is not a “right or wrong” thing.  

It is not a joke but it is a game where you have to learn that playing the victim and retaining your power cannot co-exist.

You have your lady who is also nurturing your own brand new baby, and somehow you are a victim?

It’s not sounding right… right?

Your wife can feel that energy and it will only turn her off even more without her deliberately doing that.

I want you to become self aware and clear about that while responding to this crisis. 

Let’s continue to read…

He continues…

“We haven’t had sex properly in over 18 months.

My wife occasionally makes snide remarks at me, when after periods of trying to initiate some kind of intimacy,

I give up and stay up later to have some ‘time to myself.’ 

She makes me feel like a creep in my own house and I just feel like shit, and my anxiety starts to tick up.”

Reason #3 – Giving Up

TRENDING: 5 Signs Your wife is NOT Attracted to You ❤️

By your own words, you give up while attempting to initiate sex.

You can at least agree that there is nothing sexy about giving up and more especially the vibes and energy that accompanies that right?

Instead of giving up and continuing to play the victim,

I want you to leverage this moment of your life and marriage to engage your personal life mission and purpose first.

This may be something about your ambitions, career or some charity work that makes you feel fulfilled as a person.

It will leave you little to no room to keep feeling sorry for yourself while you are simultaneously giving your relationship some breathing room.

Now I want you to keep initiating sex but by practicing 3 steps forward and 2 steps backward.  

There is nothing sexier than a man whose wife feels safe enough to say “not today babe” while still trusting that he will be confident enough to initiate at some point.

That will even leave her some sense of obligation at the back of her mind and she may initiate before the next time you initiate.

If she doesn’t, you’ve decided to make that a non-big deal (engaging and retaining your masculine core and power) and try later.

She will naturally overcompensate for your patience later in the form of hot sex when she is ready to receive you back to back.

In this next lesson, I will reveal how this works in detail…

So be sure to like and subscribe for your best chances of getting notified when that video goes live.

Let’s continue to read…

He continues…

“We’ve tried to slowly reinitiate things, particularly when I’m away for work. 

We’ve tried to send a few exciting spontaneous messages here and there. 

We’ve started using an app where you essentially ‘match’ fetishes or sexual ideas with your partner

(i.e. only notified if they like the same thing as you, it’s pretty cool.) 

At one point, she even bought a new toy while I was away,

and kind of awkwardly apologized that it was a toy just for her and wouldn’t really be all that fun to use together. 

I was stoked and said she never needs to apologise for that! I thought this might’ve been the catalyst we needed. 

Fast forward the entire 2 months we were apart, and she hadn’t used it once.“

Reason #2 – “We” Don’t Seduce

There is so much “we” this and “we” that and it leaves me to wonder,

who is the seducer in this equation if what you want is more sex?

If you compete in feminine energy with your lady, it kills sexual polarity.  

What you are suffering from is partly low libido due to childbirth causing lower attraction in your marriage which is temporary.

This is not abnormal; we’ve been through the same thing.

It’s a process to get out of the limbo but it can be a faster process when you engage your seduction power which starts way before the bedroom.

Seduce more, initiate less and watch better sex come back into your marriage.

Let’s continue to read…

He continues…

“Occasionally we eventually have a really difficult but healthy conversation about our sex life,

and we walk away feeling great for it…but nothing really changes.

For the past 12 months or so, we go through a bit of a regular cycle. 

I try to initiate things at a pretty low level to rekindle a bit of excitement. 

It gets shot down over a period of 2-3 weeks, and my anxiety slowly escalates. 

I ruminate on the past fortnight, and the past 2 years and get frustrated. 

My mood dives, my wife asks what’s wrong, we have a bit of a chat (about all the same old things),

have a bit of intimacy (although, not sex) 

And I feel like she walks away relieved that she’s hit “reset”

and can now hopefully go another 2 or 3 weeks without needing to be intimate with me. 

Reason #1 – You Talk Her Out Of Wanting Sex

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

As you’ve probably realized, the more you talk about this, the less sex you are having.

By now, you are just predictable; the mood patterns and swings are probably predictable AF.

Talking so much in the name of conversations in an attempt to increase intimacy is feminine energy.

When she’s asking you what’s wrong, she wasn’t faking it. 

It’s a way for her to protect your household when it seems like you are falling apart as the masculine core in the relationship.

While that’s very nice of her, it’s killing sexual polarity even further.

So that’s not where you want your lady. 

You want her to be able to count on you even in the midst of this crisis

and that’s part of the process of seducing her back into crazy intimate sessions.

Rejection breeds obsession so you are not abnormal but this is how to rise above the norm

as opposed to using blame, guilt, condemnation and judgment to make matters worse.

To learn even more about rebuilding sexual attraction back into your marriage, check out the featured video on the screen.

💔 5 Steps to Reverse “I Don’t Love You Anymore”

“I don’t love you anymore.” The point of no return right?

Chris did not see this one coming…

But with the amount of cases and marriage issues that we review from time to time, these issues do not just fall out of the skies.

So I asked Chris,

“Are you telling me that your wife has never complained before telling you she doesn’t love you anymore?”

Then he goes…

“I mean… she’s complained about a few minor things that were no big deals. Why are women inconsiderate with reality though?”

I asked him if he asked the question exactly like that to his wife. 

He went on and on about how she nagged constantly about quality time.

“So what do you want Chris?” I asked,

He said, “I need her to stop nagging because frankly, I’ve got bills to worry about.”

So I asked… “You don’t care about seducing her into falling in love with you again?”

“Seduction? What are we? Teenagers?”

And then I answered with another question…

“Do you want an answer to that or do you want to reverse this terrible experience with your marriage?”

Like many people in modern marriages, Chris is confused and we want to share the 5 steps we shared with him to reverse 

“I don’t love you anymore.”

My name is LOLA and I am the co-author of the book

GET MY MARRIAGE BACK 

…with my husband OLA

…which you can download for free at:

www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

You will also see an opportunity to book a coaching session with us.

This is OLA

Step 1 – Accept It

PREVIOUS POST: 💔 5 Steps To Dealing With a Disrespectful Wife

The usual confusion here is when people feel like accepting reality equals agreement to being wrong or to the experience they are trying to avoid.

If you feel this way, you are essentially focused on the wrong thing.

You would be actively defending yourself but not your relationship.

The reason why you should accept reality is because it is reality; it simply is.

It will also conclude this phase of the present funk a lot quicker than being stubborn about nothing.

I know like most people, you probably have a corrupted version of reality.

Can you at least accept the reality of the fact that your partner just expressed that they are no longer in love with you?

When your spouse comes to you and tells you he or she is no longer in love with you, the easiest route to take for most humans is to get defensive.

So it’s key in this key moment to rise above the norm and by doing so, your spouse will wonder and that’s the equivalent to building attraction back.

That is a scientific fact.

Accept it because frankly, you cannot claim that your spouse had not been complaining if your case is like the typical cases that we review daily.

Simply respond with…

“I understand. Let me know if and when you are ready to talk and work on it.”

This is easier said than done but it works like magic.

Step 2 – Listen

Most people have talked their spouse to death of attraction all in the name of communication.

The purpose of listening is not just to hear your spouse out.  It’s a lot more spiritual and deeper than hearing.

In fact, the purpose is to make him or especially her feel heard and safe again.

So for step 2, I want you to listen with an intention to seduce and make him or her feel heard.

I want you to mimic what your spouse is saying back to him or her like this.

“So I am hearing you say, you feel I haven’t been as considerate as I used to be?

Tell me more… Really… wow”

You are effectively investing interest into your partner that they will inevitably return back to you in folds in time.

If your spouse is especially used to you often feeling attacked and defensive, this will create a new and exciting dynamic to make them wonder what is happening.

That’s equivalent to seduction and building attraction back up.

Effective seduction and communication is 80% active listening, 10% ensuring understanding with your words and 10% sharing how you feel.

If your spouse doesn’t feel heard, they are simply not capable of truly hearing how you feel anyway.

I know what you are thinking.

“So my feelings don’t matter?”

Step 3 – Identify Why

TRENDING: 15 Warning Signs Your Wife Doesn’t Love You & How to Attract Her Back ❤️

The worst thing you want to do is get stuck in your feelings and apply too much energy into reacting to your feeling (the symptom) and abandoning the underlying disease right?

We also know that you are in love or obsession because rejection breeds obsession.  This is a scientific fact again.

When a person says to you that they are no longer in love with you, it’s easy to interpret that as the absence of love because it feels like a smack to the face.

This experience can also give you an illusion that you are in love. 

The in-Love experience is more of a “feeling” of affection… even if your spouse is telling you straight up that they hate you.

That is still an expression of passion and evidence of caring… at least about something that involves the both of you.  

What you don’t want is for your spouse to be indifferent.

That will be the true point of no return.

So it is actually natural that a person that may have been with you over a period of time will occasionally fall in and out of love.

How much more if he or she has been complaining of bad experience at any level over a period of time?

If your spouse is a human being like the rest of us, falling out of love is actually very natural especially if they’ve not been feeling heard or significant in your relationship.

It may even have nothing to do with you.

Falling out of love is just how he or she feels “at this moment”. 

Avoid making it a bigger deal than it is.

Instead, assess the data you collected during your listening exercise and focus on identifying the “why” and the role you played in deteriorating the attraction level in your marriage.

Remember, it’s not a matter of FAULT… This is seduction.

I have to share the 2 most important steps with you. 

But note that in the next lesson, I will share more about seduction, effective listening, collecting data and turning them to useful information (a.k.a THE WHY).

So be sure to subscribe and beat up the like button to tell the algorithm that we are giving goodies away over here. 

Thank you so much in advance.

So what else?

Step 4 – Adjust

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

You go to a relationship to give; not give and take.  I know you are probably hearing that for the first time but trust me.

Adjusting doesn’t mean that you are succumbing to a lesser role.  It actually means you are “leading” and seducing your spouse back in love with you.

The idea is not to become another person. 

It’s more so about engaging the existing power that you already have in that relationship in a way that benefits the relationship.

What needs to be adjusted is how you show up so that you can attract better love experience and expression.

Step 5 – Patience

It took time to get here. It will take time to get him or her to fall back in love with you.

How long?

It depends on a few factors but what you should focus on is becoming a better self that will attract a better in-love and real love experience.

You can’t afford to pour from an empty cup; you will get burnt out and your partner will unintentionally test you a few times before feeling safe and secure again.

Watch the in-love experience creep back into your relationship slowly but surely.

The Main Lesson

The more engaged in your personal purpose and life mission you are, the easier this process will be.

As we’ve said, this process will be tested.

So spiritual strength, personal purpose and self development are necessary ingredients for smooth recovery from “I don’t love you anymore.”

Watch the next video on the screen for more about that.

💔 5 Steps To Dealing With a Disrespectful Wife

In this lesson, you will discover how to deal with a disrespectful wife without losing any further respect in your marriage.

A few months ago, David reached out to us complaining bitterly about his marital life,

…and how it has probably been the worst decision he made to marry her.

When we asked him what his number one struggle was, he shared with us that his wife just doesn’t know how to respect a man.

He went on to share with us how he felt that she learned the behavior from her mother.  

According to him, he had tried to teach her to see how she can make him feel more like a man in how she talks and utters consistent rude remarks.

I said to him, “No Wonder”.

He asked me “What do you mean?”

Then I said, to him, “In listening to you, I have 5 steps you’ve taken that made your wife lose respect for you” 

And I went on to share the opposite of the following 5 steps we want to share with you with him.

My name is LOLA and I am the co-author of the book

GET MY MARRIAGE BACK with my husband OLA

…which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

This is OLA

Step #1 – Stop Asking for Respect

If you have to ask for respect, there is a good chance that you do not deserve respect.  

And if you did deserve respect, that doesn’t guarantee that you will receive respect from you wife… and let me guess….

That makes life unfair…  right?

Welcome to the real world where everyone will be tested especially people or entities that occupy any position of leadership in any capacity.

If you didn’t know this already, that’s evidence that you probably haven’t earned the respect you are looking for.

Respect is earned.

Respect is not a right because you are a husband and respect is not an obligation on the part of your wife;

at the minimum, that’s not the reality.

You may have learned that it’s a wife’s duty from some type of religious belief system,

but that’s precisely the cause of many suffering in marriage; unrealistic expectations.

So stop asking for respect and learn how to attract respect.

Inside the book GET MY MARRIAGE BACK,

we tell our story and how we were able to come back from a filed divorce stronger even after all respect was lost.

Download it for free at: www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

You will also see an opportunity to book a coaching session with us.

Step #2 – Engage Infinite Patience

PREVIOUS POST: 💔 5 Secrets To Staying Together After Cheating Or An Affair

In a marriage, your wife will test you consistently and not necessarily deliberately.  

People like David will quite often ask us how long they should be patient for before they start complaining and nagging about lack of respect.

The only answer to that is forever.  And again, I know that seems unfair to the typical person because it doesn’t make common sense.

If that doesn’t make any common sense,

it would also mean that you are not making any common sense making a choice to stay married to your wife.

So to realistically prepare for the inevitable and consistent test of your temperament,

you will have to give and invest infinite patience into the marriage.

I acknowledge that this is extremely hard when you also don’t engage your power of choice that was made to be with your wife.

When you feel like a victim, marriage dynamics will continue to come off as unfair.

In love and war, all is fair.

Step #3 – Focus on Giving

How often have you heard “marriage is all about give and take?”

This is a terrible philosophy that only works in business transaction type of relationships and that’s why marriages are failing left and right.

The best way to leverage a relationship is to go there and focus on giving and nothing else; isn’t it the best way to harvest big time when harvest season comes?

Even in business, you learn to invest lots of time in networking with no clear sight on profits always within reach.

In fact, David is one of those guys who is practising worse than give and take; he is more so thinking of respect as a duty on his wife’s part and his right.

As you can probably see now, that’s a problematic way of approaching a romantic relationship especially if some events have made her lose the respect for you.

By focusing on giving, you are honoring the fact that respect is earned and it will come back in due time because you reap what you sow especially with a typical wife.

On the next video, you will discover how give and take is the worst belief system you can adopt into your marriage ever.  

So be sure to do everything in your power such as smashing anything that looks like any part of a hand, fingers, or color red around this video… 

To make sure you are notified and see that video.

Step #4 – Avoid Keeping Scores With Your Wife

TRENDING: 5 Signs Your Wife DOESN’T RESPECT YOU

David’s complaint also included the fact that they argued almost every other day in a very toxic way; in fact, every conversation leads to argument.

A man who understands women does not argue with women.

I know what you are thinking.

“What’s wrong with a harmless and healthy debate?”

We know from studies that no one wins an argument and an argument is an active competition to be right… right?

There is a 50% chance that you will win and be right but you will also have a little resentment built against you because your wife now feels a little less than.

You are probably also thinking…

“How is it possible to not ever argue?”

Well… we recommend to avoid argument because it is only natural to end up in argument sometimes.

But you are better positioned to recognize toxic vibes and energy with this knowledge you just acquired.

So avoid arguments without coming off as dismissive or a snob with your wife.  Instead, lean in and listen actively to understand her view points.

Even if it doesn’t make sense in the moment, assume that it is probably a blind spot for you in the moment at least until she realizes she was wrong.

That can also be “never” and you have to give the freedom for that to be okay to enjoy a romantic relationship especially in a marriage.

Step #5 – Engage Self Development

Without consistent and perpetual self-development, all of steps 1-4 will be extremely hard because you would be pouring from an empty cup.

But if you are well equipped, you don’t need validation or to feel like you are right even when you are so sure that you are right.

It will lead to a strong sense of security, healthy self-esteem, strong mental state and in due time you will attract the healthy love and life that you deserve and desire.

Conclusion & Main Lesson

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

Respect is earned.

That also means, when you don’t know each other enough and when you haven’t been tested in some form of crisis, it can seem like your wife is respecting you.

Eventually at some point, you will need to earn real respect and that will happen as a function of time, a level of pain and crisis.

Then it can last and become real love.

See this video on the screen to learn all about that.

💔 5 Secrets To Staying Together After Cheating Or An Affair

In this  lesson, you will discover 5 secrets to staying together after cheating; a terrible experience created out of a bad choice.

So about 10 months ago, Racheal sent in an email describing the pain she was still going through years after she was cheated on by her husband.

She said she finds it very hard to forget.  She wondered.  

But her husband made the wrong choice, why should she be obligated to make the right choice now? She asked.

There are so many reasons why married people cheat.

According to a study done by Austin Institute, infidelity was found to be a major cause for 37% of divorces in the United states. 

But another survey showed that 16% of marriages survive after a marriage; translation – 16% are staying together after cheating in their marriage. 

Even though Infidelity is not easy to heal from because it causes emotional intense pain, staying together after cheating is possible if you want to do the work.

So we want to share these 5 secrets to staying together after cheating or an affair with you to help you navigate a difficult time.

My name is LOLA and I am the co-author of the book

GET MY MARRIAGE BACK with my husband OLA

…which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

This is OLA…

Secret #1 of Staying Together After Cheating – Remorse

PREVIOUS POST: Love & Marriage: Huntsville 💔 Season 2 (11 LESSONS from a Married Couple)

Theo claimed he cheated on Abby because she refused him sex a couple of times; this is a terrible way of trying to stay together after cheating.

If you are approaching your efforts to stay together after cheating this way, just like Abby, your spouse will get more angry and potentially leave the marriage.

Pointing fingers in any direction including towards yourself will drive your spouse further away from the marriage .

The cheater needs to show remorse. It really doesn’t matter how it happened.

Though made from a place of weakness, selfishness and not necessarily wickedness, cheating is a choice; a bad choice.

Making a bad choice and being a bad person are 2 different things.

Accountability and acknowledgement will show your spouse that you are not proud of your bad choice and it’s a good sign that you are ready to work on the relationship.

So what if I’ve tried to show remorse, but she keeps bringing it up?

Secret #2 – Patience

So we had the case of Sean and Sade… right?  When he cheated on Sade, he felt really terrible when she found out. 

Sean apologized to her and they decided on staying together after cheating and moving on with their relationship. 

Although Sade claimed to have accepted his apology, she had a hard time with healing properly and it showed everytime Sean wanted some intimacy.

She would cringe and burst out in tears because of mixed feelings of anger, disappointment,embarrassment and anxiety. 

Many times this led to Sean losing his temper out of frustration of mixed messages from  Sade.  

“You claimed you have forgiven me.  So what is the problem?”  Sean yelled.

The cheater needs to learn the art of giving infinite patience. This can only be achieved by giving without expectation.  

In fact, It’s the only way to attract the love of your life back; infinite patience. 

Patience is one thing the older married couples say helped them in building a lifelong healthy relationship and marriage.  

It will help you become a better person in your society and your home. It’s a skill that can be very difficult to acquire on your own.

Inside the book GET MY MARRIAGE BACK, we tell our story and how we were able to come back from a filed divorce stronger; lots of patience was involved.

Download it for free at: www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

You will also see an opportunity to book a coaching session with us.

Secret # 3 of Staying Together After Cheating  – Transparency

So Kelly had a work affair with her boss.  Unfortunately, Ben found out at her office Christmas party… quite an embarrassment right? 

He was really hurt but was also determined to fix their marriage. 

Somehow, Kelly told Ben everything that happened but omitted one piece; how close she had to work with the boss.  This is dangerous.

A cheater who wants to stay together after cheating will have to lose the privilege of some options and privacy in many ways at least temporarily.  

The trade-off with an extra effort on transparency is needed because the partner will need that reassurance to heal… that’s just fair.

Is this easy to do?

Secret # 4- Support System 

TRENDING: What is Infidelity ❤️ Does it Make Marriage a Mistake⁉️

Everything we are sharing here is easier said than done but it is doable with a strong support system.

Gary and Jane went through infidelity a year ago and they decided to stay and work on their marriage. 

After she had forgiven him, one of her friends at the church marriage ministry started putting ideas of how cheaters never change into her head.

She caught anxiety from that and started flipping out on Gary; here goes the whirlwind all over again.

Healing is a process and you need to be aware of the fact that people’s opinion of your marriage can affect you negatively during the process. 

Ever heard of the quote that says “Misery loves company.” 

If you want to leave, leave.  No one should manipulate you to stay just like no one should manipulate you to leave because of their personal experience.

Watch who you surround yourself with but more importantly a support system goes a long way in maintaining through the healing process.

We’ve got one more secret for you but in the next video, we will share how support systems work in helping to stay together after cheating.

So be sure to tickle that thumbs up and the other buttons around this video to ensure that you will get notified.

What else do we need?

Secret #5- Connection

If you are interested in staying together after cheating has occurred in your marriage, you will need a strong existing connection between you and your spouse to leverage because the process of recovering from betrayal is naturally very hard.

And in addition to your existing connection, we suggest that you commit to doing something you are both passionate about together. 

By doing that, you are able to create new memories to replace those terrible ones and with patience, it will result in building a stronger connection. 

Conclusion & The Main Lesson

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

Cheating, though possibly a mistake, is still a choice.  It does not always have to translate to a choice of not staying together after cheating.

There are people’s, and quite often, children’s lives involved in the decision making; it varies from people to people.

The choice to stay together is not always equivalent to justifying cheating; it’s more so about rising above past bad choices and mistakes.

It’s a willful gift of grace when it feels right.

So as long as the victim of the cheating has chosen to stay and not manipulated into that choice, it’s okay to choose to stay together just like it’s okay to choose to leave.

It’s a fact that many marriages do thrive after that horrible experience.

The pain can be instrumental towards a stronger marriage and happy life just like anything else in life; what doesn’t kill you does make you stronger.

The popular saying of “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” is BS because it’s an absolute theory from “fake perfect people”.

And people who subscribe to that usually have other areas of life where they have enjoyed second chances but yet run their mouth.

One extreme is to allow a serial cheater to continue the bad behavior while you remain the doormat.  

But the other extreme is to have the outlook of perfection on how to be upright always at life , including zero room for grace.

Both extremes are problematic because it is a fact that betrayal of commitment at some level will be experienced in all marriages.

Has Your Husband Lost Interest in You?


Broken Marriage?
Fix it
Here FREE

Get My Marriage Back