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Latoya Forever’s 10 Implicit Lessons from the Divorce

Hello this is LOLA coming to you live from LOLAandOLA.com

…. and this is OLA

In today’s lesson, we are sharing 10 lessons we’ve extracted from Latoya Forever’s marriage and divorce.

We are tapping into Latoya’s life with her estranged husband, Adam Ali, so we can all learn some pitfalls to avoid.

After watching her 2 parts video interview that she released on her channel and channel with the new boyfriend (where it seemed that she wrote the questions…)

And watching the interview that her ex-husband did with blogger UnwinewithTashaK,

We have extracted these 10 lessons that we believe regular people like us can learn from, protect our relationship with our spouse and subsequently protect our marriages.

Without any further ado, let’s dive right in…

So what would you say is the number one implied lesson Latoya is trying to teach us with all these tell-all interviews?

Lesson #1 – Marriage is not for Children

Quite a bit of the communications within romantic relationships during and after is done through body languages regardless of how much you claim conversations to be the key.

Fun Tip: Conversation is not the same as communication.

The first interview we saw was the interview that unwinewithtashaK did with the ex-husband Adam Ali.

As soon as the interview started, I could read his body language and I picked up lots of immature signals.

One may say I was prejudging him without knowing him but we all prejudge.

Also, it is important to note that prejudging is different from judging.

Our prejudice is a function of our experiences

And what we do have are personal experiences and that of clients.

Most people go into marriage as amateurs without intending to but that’s exactly what it is… so nothing special there.

With what we saw in Latoya’s conduct on the reality TV show, THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA, her childish attitude to life was displayed quite a bit.

So you can imagine, how immature they were as far back as 2011 when they first got together.

The lesson here is to try as much as possible to understand basic adulting

….and knowing as much as possible about self before getting in the serious business of marriage.

What second lesson did you get from watching Adam Ali being interviewed on TaskaK’s platform?

Lesson #2 – Don’t Keep Scores with your Spouse or Partner

PREVIOUS POST: 17 Signs of When to Walk Away From A Sexless Marriage

Many people are stuck on the give and take formula when in fact, the only way for relationships to thrive is to go there and focus on giving.

This is especially true if you are the man who is always complaining about how your wife is not keeping her own end of the bargain.

Relationships especially within the context of Marriage is not a bargain game and you will always lose when you actively keep scores with each other.

Healthy relationships are as simple as out-giving each other. It’s a game of choosing a partner that you love enough to want to just give to without expectations.

Adam Ali referenced this so many times by saying Latoya… as the face of their brand seemed to always fall off her responsibilities.

Was she right or wrong?

That’s irrelevant in healthy relationships.

Knowing what we know, it sounds like Adam was quite adamant about getting things done when they are supposed to get done

….even if that creates division between the two of them.

With his good intentions, he found himself in place of conflict with his wife often all in the name of business.

They both blame it on the business but this is simply a case of a man who confuses his lady with a business partner.

At the end of the day, it’s their own emotions that played the tricks on them and not the business.

A simple root cause analysis will reveal that.

So what would you say about the many events they’ve had over the years?

Like for example, Adam allegedly cursed Latoya out for trapping him with the conception of their 2nd baby?

Lesson #3 – Don’t Sweep Problems Under the Rug

As you said, there were many events over the years that were,  not necessarily signals for divorce, but signals to seek professional help.

One of the main problems is that some take it as an attack when the partner suggests counseling, therapy or coaching.

In fact, I was that guy.

It’s best to receive it as an opportunity to analyze the marriage and adjust for best chances of good love and longevity.

They missed so many opportunities like most people and swept those problems under the rug; we almost lost our marriage doing the same thing.

Do you think it’s different for celebrities or couples who do business together?

Lesson #4 – We are the Problem; Not the Business

TRENDING: “SHOULD I STOP MY DIVORCE⁉️” ❤️

Humans have the same basic needs and the only difference is our individual stories; that is to be considered when navigating life and love.

Latoya and Adam allowed division from what we considered to be natural environmental factors such as their occupation and status.

They could have also learned how to orchestrate unity by leveraging what they loved about each other; they went the other route instead.

Do you think unwanted pregnancy played a role in the fate of their marriage?

Lesson #5 – Pregnancy is Not an Automatic Marriage

Their first unplanned pregnancy played a role only because unfit people weaponize everything against themselves.

But it is worth noting that it can be problematic to make pregnancy into an automatic marriage.

We also know people who have succeeded in building a meaningful marriage from that type of scenario.

It simply took taking the marriage seriously enough to not keep winging things along but commit to the process of learning.

They both allegedly made a choice to cheat on each other.

Did that guarantee the divorce?

Lesson #6 – Cheating is a Symptom; Not an Excuse; Still, a Choice.

The answer to that question is “no”, but it was an added-layer to the amount of work it would take to bring that marriage back.

The betrayal of physical or emotional infidelity cuts deeply and coming back from that is like waking up an 800 years old dead body.

But with God, all things are possible.

All it takes is the same choice but much emotional work to fix the underlying issues because cheating is a symptom at the end of the day.

Were they compatible?

Lesson #7, Being Equally-Yoked tends to be irrelevant when you are in love.

Compatibility for the most part tends to become a question when people don’t want to take responsibility in nurturing the relationship or marriage they committed to.

In these types of cases, people are very quick to judge them on not making sure of compatibility before they married but it’s complete high-horse nonsense.

Even if you asked the question of compatibility before you married…

There is an extremely good chance that you won’t have the proper context to assess that because you have not been tested.

In fact, you are in love. If you feel differently, be patient. Just wait for it.

You will be tested from a blind spot… it’s inevitable and that’s why ultimately, marriage is a step of faith.

Two unique human beings coming together to play life is not a joke.

Regardless of religion, creed or culture, humans have PTSD from different types of trauma level.

Romantic relationships, especially within the context of marriage, will test everyone involved at levels they’ve never experienced before.

So premarital counseling will only help if it involves learning conflict and crisis handling because these things are inevitable no matter how strong your equally-yoked compatibility formula is.

Don’t get it twisted because of what they said; Latoya and Adam were in and out of love multiple times like the rest of us.

But aren’t these things common sense?

Lesson #8, Common sense is a terrible guide to a successful marriage.

We’ve learned together that everyone has common sense and that’s why it’s common.

Here is common sense.

The idea that we love doing the same thing professionally so we must be compatible romantically.

Latoya and Adam are great examples of how that plays out when it comes to marriages.

Not so well right?

Who do you think is at fault here?

Lesson #9 – Hurt people hurt people

This question creates the same problem that keeping scores with a spouse or partner creates. It creates division and eliminates unity.

It’s never a matter of fault.

It is more so a function of so many variables to be unpacked in the experience of marriage preferably with a professional.

Everyone has been hurt and experienced disappointment at one level or the other.

So it’s only natural to pull up guards at any sight of feeling unsafe and insecure.

Hurt people hurt people so Latoya and Adam simply experienced a vicious cycle that would take a tremendous level of humility, time, patience and most likely professional to break.

Do you think the outside world who are always in their comments and on blogs played a role?

Lesson #10, Opinions are like a** holes; everyone has one…

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

When you understand how life and love works, you will also understand that it’s okay for people to have opinions about your relationship.

But as public figures, you would have also understood that you are both humans and there is only so much you can handle emotionally.

That means therapy, counseling and coaching would be on stand-by if you have to be in a position to process millions of terrible opinions about your life everyday.

At a basic level, we all have to manage others’ opinions in our marriage.

Inside the book GET MY MARRIAGE BACK, we tell our story and how we were able to come back from a filed divorce.

Download it for free at:

www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

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5 Warning Signs That Feels Like Your Husband May Have Lost Interest in You Sexually

In this lesson, you are about to discover the overlap between feeling like your husband has lost interest in you sexually and the reality.

One of the pieces in the ups and downs of the journey in a marriage is attraction and sexual interest levels.

It is very important to be self aware enough to separate your feelings (which are as valid as they come) and the reality.

So with that being said, let’s discuss 5 signs that may confuse you with feeling like your husband has lost interest in you   sexually.

1st Sign – Stress

Your husband may be depressed because of work and money problems may have taken over.

Sometimes when a man is not making headway in his career, he shifts his priorities to work.

Sex can then become a back burner.

This can make you feel inadequate and feel like you are falling short in your duties as a woman.

But maybe his sexual interest level has nothing to do with you.

If his stress has something to do with you, you won’t be able to find out without leaning in and listening emotionally enough to find out.

You can’t listen when you are busy feeling guilty and inadequate about the level of sexual interest from your husband.

Try to approach it in a solution oriented way instead of coming from a finger-pointing stance such as guilt, blame, judgement or condemnation.

Ask for suggestions of how you can help ease off some of the burden that may be stressing him without taking things personally.

So you should do that without emotional attachment to the outcome.

He just may need to feel understood.

2nd Sign that Feels Like Low Sexual Interest – ED (Erectile Dysfunction)

PREVIOUS POST: 5 Signs Your Husband Repulses You Sexually & What To Do

Erectile dysfunction is something some men deal with as they age.

Just in case you are hearing that term or phrase for the first time, it means that a man cannot sustain the erection of his penis during sexual intercourse.

This condition can make some of them lose interest in sex for obvious reasons.

If your husband feels like he is inadequate for you sexually, it can create a vicious cycle because his confidence level is an important mental state necessary to maintain erection.

So try not to address this in the bedroom.

Instead, go on a date with your spouse and have a heart to heart light conversation about spicing things back up in the bedroom.

That will also create an opportunity for you to suggest seeking the help of a medical professional within the right emotional space.

3rd Sign – Complacency or “See finish” as Nigerians Like to Call it.

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It feels like there is lack of connection and no space in your relationship to him or both; someone is feeling smothered.

In fact, you have both become roommates and the energy now feels very awkward.

And before you know it, it’s been 4-5 weeks with no initiations from either party.

Complacency is inevitable in all marriages and the real question is…

Are you prepared for the inevitable?

So since these things have nothing to do with how good of a person you are, don’t take things personally.

But the fact is that you, as an individual, are also partly responsible for where you both are directly or indirectly.

It’s not necessarily a “fault” but more-so a matter of natural occurrence when you, as an adult, consensually choose to get into a relationship with another adult.

So why not take a lead and suggest fun ways to navigate the challenging journey of a highly rewarding and blissful marriage.

Make sure you approach this from the angle of your spouse’s love language.

This will help ease the challenge.

4th Sign that Feels Like Low Sexual Interest – Addiction to Pornography

This is something that may affect your husband mentally and can lower his libido because of unrealistic expectations.

What typical woman do you know who wants to be hanging from the ceiling during sex every night?

Also if your husband can achieve orgasm by himself, there is also a chance that he won’t need you and that can come off as low sexual interest.

This is especially true if you are used to him initiating sex over the course of your marriage especially earlier on.

It’s only natural for you to feel like he is loosing interest sexually in you if he suddenly stops initiating sex.

Pornography (Porn) is a powerful form of entertainment because it offers a counterfeit form of intimacy and attachment.

You may have to get professional help in terms of intensive therapy for both of you where he can get support and an accountability system.

5th Sign – Lack of respect

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

The words you say to your husband can make or break him.

If you are in the habit of criticizing him like you are his mother even with good intentions, that may kill his attraction level towards you.

A typical man wants to feel like a hero in his marriage.

Sure respect is earned and I get the likelihood that your husband may have lost the respect due to some circumstances.

But it’s probably time for you to engage your power in your marriage if your choice is to stay in it.

Self awareness is key.

And that’s why it is necessary to identify the possibility of him feeling disrespect from you even if you never meant to.

If this sign hits home for you, now you know the nature of a typical man and that means you can do something about it.

Sow a seed of respect consistently into him and observe if that turns him back on over time.

You are doing it deliberately.

So it can only feel like a fun game with real life rewards over time.

That’s all part of the art of seduction and it’s powerful when you learn how to use it in favor of your marriage and subsequently you.

Conclusion

In your journey of marriage with your husband, you both will individually experience negative and positive moods because you are both humans.

The general dynamic and mood of your experience together will also be a function of all that and more.

So it is important to handle sexual attraction and interest accordingly without taking things personally.

If you feel like sexual attraction is lower than usual or desired, take ownership in building it back up without guilt tripping yourself.

Learn how to seduce your husband into the space where you want him sexually.

Download our free book from:

www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

For more lessons like this, go to:

www.LOLAandOLA.com/blog

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Unrealistic EXPECTATION in Relationships & Marriages ❤️ 2 Reasons why it DESTROYS…

How do you deal with unrealistic expectations in a relationship?

Expectations are only as real as the existence of this conversation; no more and no less.

Frankly, they don’t have to be any more significant than…

  1. Your ability to manage your expectations
  2. And your ability to interpret expressions of your partner’s expectations.

It is problematic 100% of the time when you receive expressions of expectations from your partner as an attack.

Naturally, you will feel a need to defend yourself and that’s what creates a vicious cycle of toxic relationships.

Instead, why not consider the expression of expectations as a gift and an opportunity to give into the relationship.

Are Women’s Standards & Expectations too High?

That’s a tricky question.

On one hand, I personally am not attracted to a woman with low standards and I also found that…

Most of the men that I know are not attracted to that also.

But on the other hand, this question comes from a valid place because frankly, there are blurry or fine lines between standard and expectations.

The way I look at it is that a woman needs to feel safe enough to express our expectations without feeling like it will be received as an attack.

What About Some Unrealistic Expectations Examples?

It starts for a lot of people in the dating phase with the idea of revelation of everything on a first date.

As human beings, we tend to put up a front naturally when we are getting to know a person of interest.

But to add onto that, the expectation of another human remaining the same throughout the course of a relationship is unrealistic.

This expectation usually shows up in the form of vibe, energy, action and most importantly, outlook.

Are Unrealistic Expectations in Marriage Leading to Divorce?

Yes they are… but that’s not always an obvious thing.

It usually happens as a slow but sure death over time.

When you observe healthy relationships and marriage goals from a far,

The amount of grace and investment that goes into that is not often the most obvious to see.

By the time most people get to the stage of divorce, they have usually lost sight of where it all started…

What they can usually see are the resentments.

There are many other reasons why a marriage may lead divorce of course,

But I guarantee that somewhere in-there, 93+% of the time, there was a display of unrealistic expectation on one another.

“My Husband Has too High & Unrealistic Expectations of Me”

If you feel like you are going through this with your husband, it’s time to learn something new.

There is a good chance that you also have expectations of your husband to know how to better set his expectations in your relationship.

I guess he failed and you probably feel that your expectations are realistic but then… I agree with you.

As you know, I don’t have context of your particular situation

But you should know that your knowledge of his expectations can be a powerful seduction tool in your marriage

…without hurting yourself in the process.

Granted…

He may be terrible in communicating his “terrible expectations” to you but I would just start asking yourself,

“What can I do with that information?”

OR… you can do what most people do which is to receive it as an attack, get defensive and trash the relationship.

Unrealistic Expectations in Dating

Exact scientific formulas are simply not enough when vetting for dating because all it does is create a massive emotional blind spot.

There are systems but they have to be internalized.

The most popular UNREALISTIC expectations in dating is wrapped around money and beauty;

Just superficial things and currencies that depreciate in value moment by moment.

While it is cool to be attracted to certain looks, social or economic class, these are not basic human needs that stand the test of time.

In just a few years…

Not only will money and beauty fade, your focus in particular, on these superficial things will fade.

Unfortunately, it might be too late for you to start prioritizing other qualities that matter in your partner.

You can give yourself money and beauty.

Women’s Unrealistic Expectations about Marriage Tend to Stem from…

…Past hurtful experiences.

To be frank, that’s applicable to both women and men alike.

Naturally, what we all want is love and/or connection.

All we want to do is give a special person some love.

But that seems to change when people go through hurtful experiences in relationships.

Then they naturally start to learn ideologies precisely designed to be defense mechanisms.

And that, in its very self, works against the essence of a healthy relationship or marriage.

Unrealistic Expectations of Love

The expectations that most people have of love is not so much unrealistic but nonetheless, damaging to committed relationships and marriage.

People, in general, start relationships on love as a feeling rather than as a choice that requires investing in.

I think that’s fair because that almost seems to be the point if we are being honest; it’s love and connection without being forced right?

But with time, it’s only natural for feelings to fade.

And we all take anything that’s readily available for granted after the newness fades.

Most people expect the initial “in-love” experience to continue the way it started and that’s an unrealistic expectation of love from human beings.

That’s When it Becomes Unrealistic Expectations of Others

This gets worse when people say things like

“He/she doesn’t make me happy much longer.”

The reality in most cases is that happiness comes from the inside.

But in the beginning, it is camouflaged as coming from others because you don’t truly know them enough.

You are new to, and fascinated with each other.

Over time, it’s in your best interest and that of the relationship for you to find out deeper reasons why you were attracted to each other outside of momentary feelings.

Then you have to be deliberate and intentional in nurturing it or else, it, also, will fade like every other feelings you will have in life.

Yes. Expectations have to be managed but that’s by all of us.

Self awareness is key in navigating the toxic energy of expectations in relationships and marriages.

What I would say from my experience is that there is room for improvement in more listening when it comes to communication.

To create a healthy relationship and effectively a healthy marriage, don’t take the expectations of your partner too seriously

…beyond useful insights for a better and healthier relationship.

In fact, ultimately you want them to feel free to continue to express those expectations if you want to enjoy your relationships without resentments.

But we all need to manage our expectations when it comes to relationships.

Keep in mind that love only thrives when we love with respect to freedom.

The truth is that everyone comes into relationships with emotional trauma (camouflaged as expectations often times).

So I feel there is probably better value in learning the systems in handling the inevitable crisis in relationships.

There are 100’s and 1,000’s of signals that create what you’ve got today in your relationship…

Blame, guilt and condemnation absolutely won’t work because…

The only thing that you can control is your self-development efforts.

The real enemy of relationships are extreme ideologies which doesn’t allow you to see where you can extend grace when necessary.

I believe that when we start looking at relationships as an opportunity to give as opposed to give and take,

We will create more leadership that will effectively create the love-dance that we all want, admire and desire in marriage-goals.

We all need to work on emotional intelligence.

The brilliance in emotional intelligence is that blame, guilt and condemnation works against it 100% of the time.

We all need to lead by listening…

But personally I believe that if all fails, the person complaining needs to lead.

If that fails, men need to lead simply because of the patriarchal society that most of us still live in.

That’s what I personally believe.

We all have the same 6 basic human needs as copied from Tony Robbins…

  1. Certainty
  2. Significance
  3. Variety
  4. Love/Connection
  5. Growth
  6. Contribution

But our history as individuals and groups will absolutely skew how we navigate from the same problems to the same solutions.

Sometimes, the traumas have to be unpacked.

One of the issues with expectations in a relationship is quickness to be defensive often camouflaged as response.

In a relationship, be encouraged to continue to put your focus on recognizing opportunities to give (sometimes educate)...

…rather than the opportunity to take an offense from triggers and trauma.

If you are quick to take things as an attack from your partner, it’s only natural to defend yourself

…and then go down a rabbit hole from there.., potentially trash a relationship you care about and/or divorce.

Are men too stupid to meet women’s expectation?

That’s usually the direction of these conversations when women gather in support groups to talk about this

…without a professional and emotionally intelligent moderator.

I encourage that you consider the possibilities that a man is not stupid and just may have a different goal and objective that you should learn.

Granted, men don’t always communicate with emotional intelligence.

In relationships, some of the most important information you need to give and attract the love you want, desire and deserve are passed non-verbally.

Mismatch of Expectations?

That only exists in 2 scenarios that you can actually manage.

  1. It exists when you don’t manage your expectations with respect to the dynamics that a partner brings into a relationship with you.
  2. It also exists when you don’t give your partner the freedom to express their expectations without taking it personally.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

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“FIDELITY, MARRIAGE & HOLINESS”📍 John Gray

Question: “Fidelity, Marriage & Holiness”

In particular we are talking about holiness.

So there’s this video that John Gray said:

“For those who need to hear me say this. The name of the Lord is holy. The standard is holiness. The word of God is utterly holy. He is not to be toyed with. Church is not a gain and pastors are held to the highest of standards, moral integrity, character when no one is looking, fidelity and faithfulness in marriage and for me, not submitting to process, not staying accountable and not utilizing the voices available to teach me the tools have caused me to make bad decisions.”

For a minute I got confused there, I thought he was gonna say “Touch not my anointed”.

But if you read between the lines, you will know that that’s really what he meant.

I’m just used to “touch not my anointed one” because that’s how our own Nigerian pastors…

That’s how they say “don’t judge me, how dare you” that’s what I was getting from there but in a different form.

I was expecting him to say “Touch not my anointed”, the usual one that they say.

But he did say it in a different form and then at the end of the day he is saying he didn’t take accountability,

…I mean his whole message is confusing.

Many pastors I know are really struggling with their marriages and the only common thing with them is because they are all pastors.

And these are all extremely huge pastors.

Big pastors, some of them are still very loud about how a woman should be submissive.

That’s to support the point we are making here.

It’s bigger than just your holiness Bro.

Maybe striving for holiness is better than holiness because Holiness is not attainable.

PREVIOUS POST: “Remorse vs Repentance”📍 John Gray

Can we just be honest about that?

But we are not gonna say like that because people should still strive to be better people.

I believe in people striving to be better people than this holiness thing.

The reason why I kick against like that, I know to certain church people they are gonna be like “what do you mean?” I get it.

Your chest comes out when you hear “Holiness is not good enough” I get it but I didn’t mean to say that,

Just like John Gray did not mean to say “touch not my anointed” but that’s actually what he said by saying holiness.

It’s not relevant, that’s the point.

So Fidelity, Marriage & Holiness.

You’re right, you’re wrong.

It clearly doesn’t matter and I know maybe I didn’t bring enough samples but there’s more than enough samples out there,

…and as we said earlier, a lot of pastors suffer in marriage or their wife is suffering in the marriage at least,

Because their outlook on life is this holiness thing and they can’t live up to that standard unfortunately.

TRENDING: What is Infidelity ❤️ Does it Make Marriage a Mistake⁉️

John Gray cannot live up to this standard.

He is still busy presenting that he can’t.

Talking about Fidelity, Marriage & Holiness, we are asking something simple, as simple as faithfulness to your wife.

We are not even asking him but he decided to come and share that, after the blogs broke that out.

And you’re talking about holiness Bro?

You’re manipulating people, you are saying holiness is the standard.

Standard of what?

Nobody is arguing about that.

That’s the point I’m making.

Nobody is arguing that holiness is the standard when talking about the bible, but we are talking about a real human being in your house,

… that you just hurt because you told them that you are gonna be faithful to them and your lifestyle and you being a pastor and she is also a pastor Mrs,

You can’t even live up to that and you are talking about Fidelity, Marriage & Holiness.

Are you confused or something?

So this is the confusion that’s going on everywhere.

You can see it everywhere.

Keep it simple, with regards to Fidelity, Marriage & Holiness,

Let’s not worry about holiness, let’s not worry about you being God.

Let’s just start with, you’re human.

We just found out that you’re human, you just found out that you are human let’s focus on that.

So remove yourself and don’t worry about the blogs.

Let them go crazy.

See, wise people, the most powerful people in the world will probably let the blogs go crazy.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS: More Video on our YouTube Channel

They let them knock themselves out and say “Oh what happened, you found out that I slept with your dog yesterday? Knock yourself out okay?”,

…God forbid I didn’t sleep with a dog really.

You know what I’m saying.

Knock yourself out.

Why do you feel the need to come and respond so quickly?

It tells me you are guilty and I don’t even like pointing out guilt, but because we are humans, like we just said,

We are humans so just let it go.

You have to learn how to let go.

Yes they are talking about you right now you are making the news, there was a real video, we get it.

Put out a statement through a PR.

No need to apologize because your apology is useless right now and especially to your wife, sadly.

Your apology is useless and most apologies are useless.

Let’s just put that out like that.

When it comes to the holiness situation with church folks, I don’t even get involved because I don’t consider myself a holy person.

I’m not even gonna sit down there and argue with you.

I just don’t know why I would be fighting.

People who try to present themselves as holiness or a holy person, it’s a waste of energy for the most part.

No one is perfect.

Though you can try to be a better person than you are yesterday.

You can work on that because that’s easier.

Don’t waste your energy on holiness.

It’s a waste of energy honestly and you are not gonna attain it.

Let’s just be practical, it’s never gonna happen as long as you’re human, good luck on that.

Even Jesus was knocked to the wood eventually so who are you, you are not holy.

Stop talking about holiness as the standard.

Who are you?

Holiness can be a bastard.

It becomes pride for some people you know.

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“Is infidelity God’s FAULT?”📍 John Gray

Question: “Is infidelity God’s FAULT?”

“…why do you use me? I didn’t ask for this. You raised me up and I told you I’m not the one. I told you I got all of these stuff I have been praying for years, my answers never come. But I pray for others and you answer them right away. Why did you raise me up if you knew that I was gonna miss it and in the process of trying to serve you, my humanity would explode from behind the facade of religious perfection…” – John Gray

He just blamed God for everything, “I told you I’m not capable of being a pastor and you make me a pastor?”

But he’s been collecting the money.

He did a show called The Book of John Gray, I love that show.

He was also a background singer back in the day.

I actually think he is such a wise guy until this issue happened.

When he speaks, It’s his talent you can’t take that away from him.

A gift is a gift and he has that gift,

… but that doesn’t mean you are not going to be responsible for your emotional affairs or happenings.

See when you tender an apology too early this is what happens,

… you will say the wrong things.

First of all, that apology was too long.

He should have done the PR thing.

The wisest people in this world, what they do is they send a PR to go tender an apology statement because your truth varies.

Your truth now when this thing just happened is only based on your reaction.

While the truth you have a few weeks later from now would have changed because you would have settled in.

You would have used the wisdom of God to process what happened.

Plus, you will have more information and everything would have been calmed a little bit.

You are busy apologizing to the world, when that’s not the least of your issues because he said it, he is strong bone.

PREVIOUS POST: “The WRONG WAY To Take Responsibility”📍 John Gray

The person that covers him is his wife.

That’s the person that covers him but he is going to lose that.

Then come and give or tender his apology like a day after the news broke out,

…that you threw out completely under the bus?

Like come on.

So infidelity, what is it miscommunication?

Whatever he just did or he called it because “It wasn’t physical” so it doesn’t matter.

And all of this is God’s fault because God called him,

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…but he collects that money, he has been making money with his brand.

He is so manipulative.

He made so much money and bought a Lamborghini for the wife as the last apology.

Yes, the apology from some strange woman.

I mean, all these years I have been going to church, God forgive me, I didn’t know about the strange woman until they talked about that.

I was like “why is she saying strange woman like that”, the way she emphasizes on that strange woman…

Well, strange women and strange men, they are everywhere.

So, Is infidelity God’s fault?

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No, infidelity is not God’s fault.

You have to be responsible with your own actions.

And when you are covering things up and then the wrong things are coming out of your mouth,

That’s what happens when you apologize too early.

Too early or premature apologies are manipulative.

There are other ways to fix emotional matters quickly.

It takes time.

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