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SEX STARVATION 🔥 Low Attraction or ED? 5 TIPS

Addressing sex starvation, sexless marriages, erectile dysfunction and low levels of attraction are often sensitive but crucial for many couples.  Taking self-accountability in your marriage, especially when facing challenges like these is key.

Trigger Warning and Quick Disclaimer: A lot of patience, particularly for yourself, and self-reflection may be required to have a holistic understanding of this topic if you are presently dealing with these issues of sex starvation.

In a recent discussion on Obodo Oyinbo TV and Man of Prestige, we talked about a common scenario where a husband refuses to address his erectile dysfunction, leaving his wife feeling neglected and sex-starved. The question arose: why should she take responsibility for his health issue?

The real answer is: she shouldn’t. Unless there are other problems that need to be solved. Oh yeah, there are more problems. She is feeling neglected and sex-starved.

At this point, we have two choices. We can change the topic to “As a man, what do you do when you are ashamed of your Erectile Dysfunction and Refuse to Seek Help?” or we can address the main topic of “What do you do as a woman dealing with neglect and Sex Starvation Due to Possible Erectile Dysfunction?”

I have a better idea. Let’s address both.

SEX STARVATION 🔥 Low Attraction or ED? 5 TIPS

Here’s the twist—it’s not about assigning blame but about taking proactive steps to find solutions and properly assess the sequence of problems. Clearly, communication breakdown is a problem for this couple as expressed by or on behalf of her.

If you’re in a similar situation, it’s essential to acknowledge that your marriage’s health is a shared responsibility, at least until you decide to leave. By taking self-accountability, you focus on what you can control and do to improve the situation and avoid all blaming, shaming, and faulting strategies. They will only make matters worse for you. People who feel judged tend to feel attacked and reciprocate. Listen to understand; avoid the trap.

Take the Sexless Marriage Quiz

With that being said, here are five inclusive tips for you:

Tip 1: Understand the Sequence of Problems That Matter

With the Prestige Family, we address these issues from a standpoint of self, power, social dynamics, seduction, attraction, and emotional intelligence. We have a method for the madness you are feeling, and it starts with self.

Which part of the problem can you own up to? In this case, it’s obviously not the ED, but she can truthfully say, “I feel neglected and sex-starved.” When we get to the part of answering the “why,” it becomes easy to disengage from self-accountability because, obviously, the ED is related to his body. It also becomes easy to disengage from her power and focus on the unfairness of having to worry about his refusal to seek help.

Let’s break down the layers of problem-solving that create lasting solutions. There are two main problems here: an unaddressed sexual issue and sex starvation. Giving your problem away (sometimes camouflaged as addressing the root cause) or blaming the other person only exacerbates the original issue. We do need to conduct a root cause analysis, but to do that properly, the closest problem you personally feel, especially emotionally, must be properly identified and owned.

Even though the wife might suspect her husband has ED, self-diagnosis and medication based on suspicions aren’t the answers. A man who is not erect during attempts at sexual intercourse could be experiencing many other issues, which might include low levels of attraction. You might not want to hear that your partner is not attracted to you due to the negative impact of shaming. Instead, you as a wife can take proactive steps to address your dissatisfaction, such as consulting with a relationship coach or counselor to find ways to fix the “not-so-obvious communication” breakdown in your relationship.

Tip 2: Seek Professional Guidance

Dealing with sexual intimacy issues can be daunting, but seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a step toward resolution. Whether it’s consulting with a therapist or a relationship coach, professional guidance can provide clarity and constructive strategies.

You will learn how to encourage open dialogue and support your partner in seeking medical advice. Sometimes, reluctance to address health concerns stems from fear or embarrassment. Your understanding and encouragement can make a significant difference.

If your partner is reluctant, you can still seek professional advice yourself. Doctors have ways and strategies to counsel you appropriately without making assumptions that will perpetuate the issue. They can offer insights and potential solutions that you might not have considered, ensuring you don’t feel stuck in an endless cycle of blame.

I understand your frustration and the feeling of being tired after trying to seek help multiple times. It’s exhausting to feel like you’re the only one putting in the effort. However, the aim here is not to burden you further but to encourage a shift in perspective. While it might seem unfair, taking self-accountability in this situation can empower you to find new avenues of support and solutions.

The “further help” I’m suggesting involves seeking guidance for yourself, not just for your partner. This means consulting a therapist or relationship coach who can provide strategies for managing your feelings of neglect and sex starvation. They can help you navigate the emotional complexities of this situation and offer practical advice on how to communicate your needs effectively.

The goal is to empower you to take control of your own well-being. Feeling tired and frustrated is natural, but staying in that state won’t solve the problem. By focusing on what you can do and seeking professional guidance, you can find new ways to address the issues and improve your relationship, even if that means making difficult decisions to leave the relationship.  Holistic and non-emotionally driven support is key.

Tip 3: Foster a Culture of Open Communication

In many marriages, silence around sensitive topics like sex starvation and erectile dysfunction can deepen your heartache. Creating a safe space for your partner to communicate their version of the concern is vital. It also provides you with the opportunity to express your concerns. Do it in that order. This encourages you and your partner to share your thoughts without judgment. It’s easier said than done, but it’s the best way to get what you want.

Trust is the foundation of any relationship. By taking self-accountability in facilitating open communication, you not only address immediate issues but also strengthen trust and emotional connection with your partner. This trust-building process involves more than just speaking about problems.

Addressing issues like sex starvation and ED requires sensitive and effective communication.

Like I said, It’s about acknowledging the emotions, feelings and fears before suggesting unfounded solutions such as ED and blood pressure drugs, non-regulated herb mixes, sex toys, and imposing sexual activities that will create more awkward energy in your marriage. Some of these things might help, but seek wise counsel first.

Once you know what you are doing with regards to the broken-down communication, you can start the conversation by acknowledging the difficulty of the topic. This shows that you recognize the sensitivity of the issue and respect their feelings. When your partner sees that you are genuinely trying to understand their perspective without judgment, they are more likely to open up.

Pay attention to what they are saying without interrupting or preparing your response. This level of attentiveness shows that you value their input and are committed to finding a lasting solution together. Once they have shared, express your own feelings in a similar, respectful manner.  Handle interjections with grace and not judgment.

By practicing these communication techniques, you create an environment where both partners feel heard and understood. This not only helps in resolving the immediate issue, sex starvation (or ED if it ends up being an issue), but also lays the groundwork for addressing future challenges in a constructive and loving manner. Open communication fosters a partnership based on mutual respect and understanding, which is crucial for a thriving marriage.

No disrespect intended, but your tone and approach in discussing this topic indicates how you would handle these types of sensitive issues. Assess yourself. Is it enough if you were on either side of this situation?

Tip 4: Cultivate Empathy and Understanding

Understanding your partner’s perspective is key to resolving conflicts. Empathy allows you to see beyond surface issues and delve into underlying emotions. It’s about being there for your partner, especially during challenging times. While it can be difficult, it is highly rewarding.

Instead of dwelling on fault-finding, focus on what you can bring to collaborative solutions. Empower your partner to take proactive steps towards mutual happiness and fulfillment in your marriage.

Recognize that your partner might be dealing with unspoken fears or insecurities. For instance, your husband might avoid addressing ED due to embarrassment or fear of inadequacy. Approaching the situation with empathy helps alleviate these fears and allows you to work towards a solution together.

Remember, without adequate support, it can be challenging to cultivate empathy. A valid question arises: who is taking care of you? Ensure you also seek support and guidance to maintain your well-being while nurturing your relationship.

Tip 5: Embrace Growth and Adaptability

Marriage and intimacy will evolve over time, and so will the challenges you face. Embrace these opportunities for personal and relational growth. Learn from setbacks, adapt to new circumstances, and focus on evolving together as a couple.

Every challenge is a chance to learn and grow stronger as a team. By embracing change and learning from experiences, you create a resilient and fulfilling marriage. Don’t wait for your partner all in the name of “it takes two to tango.” Start by working on yourself and your mindset.

Adopting a growth mindset means seeing problems as opportunities to learn and grow. This perspective helps in dealing with issues constructively and ensures that you evolve as your partner is evolving, making the marriage stronger and more resilient.

This conversation is bigger than just sex starvation and erectile dysfunction. 

It’s about how you handle conflict and crisis in your marriage.  It’s easier said than done; granted.  But it has to be done.

Your goal is a united front.  You can’t achieve that by focusing on fairness and assigning blame. You will create better results assuming best case scenario, default fairness, self abundance and then offering something out of your self abundance.  If you don’t have enough to claim self-abundance, work on that first.

Remember, your marriage is a journey filled with ups and downs. By embracing self-accountability, seeking professional guidance, fostering open communication, cultivating empathy, and embracing growth, you empower yourselves to navigate challenges and strengthen your bond.

It’s crucial to understand that when we talk about self-accountability, it doesn’t mean you should take all the blame or do all the work. If you have already sought help and your partner is still unwilling to address his ED, further self-accountability means making decisions for your own well-being. This might include setting boundaries, continuing therapy for yourself, or, in some cases, considering separation if your needs continue to be unmet. Self-accountability is about taking control of one’s own happiness and not being stuck in a situation that doesn’t change.

It’s also essential to avoid direct or indirect self-diagnosis of ED or any self-medication. There could be other underlying issues, such as low levels of sexual attraction. Seeking professional help independently can provide the wife with strategies and insights to address the situation without perpetuating the cycle of sex starvation.

Frequently Asked Question!

How long can guys go without sex?

The duration varies greatly among individuals and can be influenced by personal, psychological, and physical factors.

How to deal with sex starvation?

Address sex starvation by communicating openly with your partner, seeking professional guidance, and focusing on emotional before physical intimacy.

Is it healthy to go without sex?

It can be healthy to go without sex for periods, but long-term absence can affect emotional and physical well-being depending on individual needs and circumstances.

What happens when a man is sexually deprived?

Sexual deprivation in men can lead to increased stress, frustration, and potential relationship issues, highlighting the need for open communication and mutual understanding.

What is the simple trick to cure ED?

While there’s no single trick, addressing ED often involves lifestyle changes, medical consultation, and open communication with one’s partner.

How to solve erectile dysfunction problem?

Solving erectile dysfunction typically requires a combination of medical intervention, lifestyle adjustments, and addressing any underlying psychological issues.

How to reverse erectile dysfunction?

Reversing erectile dysfunction can involve medical treatments, lifestyle changes like exercise and diet, and addressing psychological factors with professional help.

How can a wife help her husband with ED?

A wife can support her husband by encouraging medical consultation, fostering open communication, and maintaining emotional intimacy and understanding.

Why don’t I feel sexually attracted to my partner anymore?

Loss of sexual attraction can result from various factors, including stress, changes in relationship dynamics, or personal health issues.

Is it normal to lose attraction for your partner?

Yes, it’s normal for sexual attraction to fluctuate in a relationship due to various life changes and stresses.

Is it normal to not be attracted to your partner all the time?

Yes, it is normal not to feel constant attraction; maintaining intimacy involves ongoing effort and communication.

Why is my sexual attraction so low?

Low sexual attraction can stem from stress, health issues, relationship dynamics, or psychological factors, often requiring introspection and professional guidance.

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How To FIGHT For Your MARRIAGE; 5 Must-Knows

When we talk about how to fight for a marriage, we’re not talking about throwing punches but rather standing up for what truly matters in building the healthy relationship you crave so badly.

Fighting for your marriage involves understanding the principles that keep a relationship thriving and those that can cause a breakdown.

It’s about creating a deep connection and recognizing the ebb and flow within your relationship. Learning to navigate these waters with grace is essential. It’s about understanding your partner’s needs and desires on a fundamental level and using that knowledge to foster a deeper bond.

how to fight for your marriage

We must also acknowledge the role of inner growth. Cultivating a strong sense of who you are and how you interact with your partner is key. It’s about honing the ability to perceive and manage your own emotions, as well as those of your spouse.

This journey is not just about fixing the other party’s problems but focusing on your own growth, learning from your partner despite any resentment, and building a more resilient and fulfilling life with or without your present partner.

Currently, we are helping five different clients who have dealt with partners exhibiting abusive behaviors for over a decade. What we found is that these behaviors were sometimes intentional and other times due to ignorance. Imagine having to explain this shift in fighting for a marriage when they’ve been the victim.

It’s challenging, but it becomes manageable when we help them envision a clear path for the present into the future. It’s worth it to do the work beyond assigning blame, shaming, judgment, and condemnation.

So, let’s dive in and explore what it really means to fight for your marriage and how you can apply these principles to create a stronger, more connected relationship.

1. Shifting Perspectives: Fighting Together, Not Against Each Other

When things get tough in marriage, our first instinct might be to fight with our spouse. But Ephesians 6:12 reminds us that our battle isn’t against each other—it’s against deeper, spiritual challenges. So, instead of seeing each other as adversaries, let’s shift our focus to seducing and influencing our partner towards tackling challenges together.

This shift involves more than just changing how you view your partner; it requires you to understand and apply principles that foster genuine connection. When you approach your marriage with the mindset of working together, you begin to appreciate the subtleties of your partner’s behaviors and intentions. You become more attuned to the cues that signify deeper needs and desires, allowing you to respond in ways that strengthen your bond.

Feeling like a victim is valid, but navigating the complexities of your relationship with sensitivity can transform conflicts into opportunities for growth, both individually and as a couple. Recognizing the ebb and flow within your marriage helps balance interactions, ensuring that you feel heard and valued. This approach not only prevents misunderstandings but also builds a foundation of trust, love, and respect that you deserve.

When you focus on understanding your partner’s perspective, you develop a greater capacity for empathy and compassion. This means actively listening and engaging with their concerns, which can de-escalate potential conflicts and create a supportive environment.

Ultimately, this perspective shift allows you to move beyond surface-level disputes and address underlying spiritual and emotional challenges. It encourages growth individually and as a couple, fostering a relationship that is resilient, fulfilling, and deeply connected. Embrace this approach and start fighting for your marriage by working together, not against each other.

2. The Role of Space and Separation

Now, sometimes taking a step back can feel like giving up, but it can actually be a strategic move. Separation doesn’t have to mean the end—it can give both partners the clarity and space needed to work on themselves and their marriage. It’s about using this time wisely, not as a way to avoid problems but as a way to come back stronger.

When you step back, it allows you to reassess your relationship dynamics and your role within them. For example, imagine a couple who decides to take a short break to reflect on their issues. During this time, they each focus on…

Understanding their own emotional triggers and patterns of behavior.

One partner might realize they have been overly critical due to unresolved past issues, while the other may see that their withdrawal stems from a fear of confrontation.

Using this time apart, they can work on addressing these personal challenges individually. When they reunite, they bring newfound insights and emotional growth into the relationship, leading to more constructive communication and a deeper connection. This approach not only helps to resolve current conflicts but also equips the couple with better tools to handle future challenges.

By intentionally creating space for reflection and growth, you can transform what seems like a step back into a powerful move forward, ultimately strengthening your bond and enhancing the overall health of your relationship.

3. Spiritual and Emotional Battles

In our own journey, my wife and I realized that fighting for our marriage meant battling not just our own misunderstandings but also spiritual and emotional forces that can weaken any relationship. It’s about strengthening our resilience to withstand these challenges together.

For instance, during a particularly difficult conflict, my wife visited a church where she was told by a prophet that she was meant to marry someone else. At the time, we already had two kids. This prophecy lingered in her mind, creating doubt and tension between us. This external influence contributed to a significant breakdown in our marriage. I initially thought my wife was just being stubborn, unaware of the deeper battles she was facing.

During our separation, I learned to focus on understanding my own role in our conflicts and how my actions impacted my wife.

I approached our disagreements with a desire to understand rather than to win. Over time, we rebuilt trust and established a new foundation for our relationship, one that was more resilient and deeply connected. We emerged stronger and more united.

Embracing this approach can help any couple navigate the spiritual and emotional battles that threaten their relationship, ultimately leading to a more enduring and fulfilling partnership. However, it often requires one partner to start the journey first, rather than trying to drag the other to therapy or counseling. Starting the work on yourself can lead to more genuine progress and avoid the pitfalls of arguments and superficial solutions in joint sessions.

4. Understanding Resistance and Accountability

Often, when clients come to us saying, “My spouse won’t fight,” it usually boils down to a deeper issue of awareness and accountability. Fighting for your marriage requires both partners to take responsibility for their actions and emotions, which can be tough but essential for growth.

The trick is, it doesn’t have to start with both of you simultaneously. Many people on social media fall into the trap of waiting for the other person to take equal responsibility, leading to an endless cycle of blame. Instead, one partner can initiate the change by taking proactive steps to improve the relationship.

For example, let’s consider a couple where one partner feels neglected because the other is always on their phone. Instead of waiting for their partner to notice the issue, the concerned partner could start by expressing their feelings in a calm and understanding manner. They might say, “I’ve noticed that we spend less time talking because of our phone usage. I miss our conversations and would love for us to reconnect more.” By addressing the issue without blame and suggesting a positive change, they create an environment where their partner feels understood and is more likely to respond positively.

This approach leverages subtle influence and personal growth to encourage the other partner to reflect and adjust their behavior. By starting the work on yourself and demonstrating accountability, you can foster an atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding. This, in turn, can lead to a more sustainable and lasting solution for your marriage.

Ultimately, embracing personal growth and responsibility can transform your relationship, making it stronger and more resilient. So, instead of waiting for your partner to change, take the initiative to improve your marriage and set the stage for a deeper, more fulfilling connection.

5. Tools for Fighting Effectively

So, how do you practically fight for your marriage? It starts with communication, understanding, and a willingness to seek help when needed. Whether it’s through coaching or reading books like ours (which you can download for free at this link), these tools can strengthen your bond and help you navigate challenges in your marriage.

We met Debbie a few years ago when her marriage was on the brink of collapse. She and her husband had been arguing constantly, trust had been shattered by infidelity, and she was considering divorce. Debbie had tried everything—heartfelt conversations, therapy sessions, and even suggestions for joint activities—but nothing seemed to get through to her husband. Feeling desperate and alone, she sought professional help.

Debbie reached out us and started by reading our recommended books.

This initial step sparked a change in her approach, providing new insights and strategies for dealing with her marital issues even though she had already checked out. Encouraged by the progress, she decided to engage in ongoing coaching sessions with us.

Over the next 9 months, Debbie diligently applied the techniques learned from our books and coaching. She focused on herself first, improving communication, rebuilding trust, and understanding her husband’s perspective—a very difficult phase indeed. Slowly but surely, her efforts began to pay off. The husband who was once a distant asshole as she put it, started to open up, and the couple began to reconnect on a deeper level.

With our continuous support and guidance, they navigated the complexities of their relationship, transforming their once broken marriage into a strong and loving partnership. By leveraging the tools and resources we provided, they achieved a level of intimacy, love, and respect they never thought possible.

How To Save a Marriage in 7 Steps

Consider sharing this video with your coach to help implement these strategies in your marriage. If you don’t have a coach, reach out to us for a complimentary coaching session. Having a coach provides personalized support and guidance, making the challenging task of fighting for your marriage much easier.

Fighting for your marriage is not the easiest task to take on, especially when it feels like you’re doing it alone. But with the right tools, a proactive approach, and the support of a personal coach, you can begin to mend and strengthen your relationship. By investing in these resources, you create a resilient, loving partnership capable of withstanding even the toughest challenges.

Remember, fighting for your marriage isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it. By focusing on spiritual unity, emotional growth, and adequate support, you can build a marriage that withstands the tests of time. So, let’s redefine what it means to fight—for love, for understanding, and for a future together.

Even if you’ve decided to move forward without your present partner, you will need this for as long as you are marriage-minded regardless of your present relationship status.

Frequently Asked Question!

What are the signs of a failing marriage?

Constant arguments, shattered trust, and consideration of divorce are key signs of a failing marriage.

How do you fix your marriage when it’s falling apart?

Start by improving communication, understanding your partner’s perspective, and seeking professional help if needed.

How to biblically fight for your marriage?

Shift your focus from battling your spouse to tackling deeper challenges together, as taught in Ephesians 6:12.

How to save your marriage when it seems impossible?

Leverage personal growth, proactive communication, and the support of coaching or counseling to rebuild trust and connection.

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Relationship Problems? Got GAME? 4 Ways To LEVEL UP NOW 🎮✨

Do you have relationship problems?  It’s probably your partner’s fault and super-easy to just blame them.  But you probably also “lack game”.  Let’s find out.

Back when Kayode and Sharon were newlyweds, life was a whirlwind of love and excitement. They moved into a cozy apartment in Houston, full of dreams and plans for their future together. Every weekend, they would explore the city, discovering new restaurants, attending music festivals, and enjoying their shared love for adventure.

Do you have relationship problems?

But as time went on, the honeymoon phase began to fade.

Kayode got a promotion at work, which meant longer hours and more stress. Sharon, who had always been a social butterfly, started feeling lonely and neglected. Kayode started feeling unappreciated for his hard work. Their once-vibrant relationship turned into a series of routine arguments and silent dinners. The spark that brought them together seemed to be dimming.

Kayode felt overwhelmed and frustrated, often bringing his work stress home. Sharon, on the other hand, felt isolated. She missed the days when Kayode would surprise her with little notes or take her out on spontaneous dates. The emotional distance grew, and their arguments became more frequent and intense. Sharon felt like she was living with a stranger, and Kayode felt like he couldn’t do anything right.

6 Tips To Navigating Trust Issues in Relationships

According to Sharon, Kayode used to be a loving, attentive husband, but the pressures of work and life made him distant and irritable.

Sharon was trying to escape loneliness and disconnection. They were both running from the reality that their relationship was in trouble. The more they tried to avoid the issues, the more they drifted apart.

One evening, after a particularly heated argument, Sharon confided in her best friend, who suggested enrolling in the Prestige Marriage Academy. Sharon scoffed at the idea, feeling like she had tried everything and was ready to file for divorce.

Sharon’s friend managed to share a Man of Prestige happy hour livestream with her. In that livestream, she heard me using the word GAME and was taken aback. She thought, “this is my real life and not a game.”

Today, we’re diving into something a little playful but incredibly profound – it’s called G.A.M.E. Now, before you start thinking we’re talking about playing games in your relationship, let me clarify.

I understand that you might view G.A.M.E. as not the most empowering way to approach a romantic relationship.

It may seem manipulative rather than fostering a genuine connection. I get it. But love is playful and not always serious. Lighten up!

Environments that are too serious can stifle and smother romance, especially in marriage. G.A.M.E. is a term used by young people to describe the ability to naturally attract and nurture romantic attraction. It means having the finesse to bag who they want. We are showing you that these influence and seduction skills can be learned. I encourage you to focus on the context here. This context involves giving value to your partner in a way that they can reciprocate your desires.

17 Signs of When to Walk Away From A Sexless Marriage

The context is about whether “you’ve got game” or not, not about “playing games or tricks” as some dictionary meanings might suggest. It’s about being the best version of yourself and bringing that into your relationship. It’s about your ability to create a positive, loving environment where your partner can thrive, especially in crisis or conflict.

G.A.M.E. is about cultivating essential skills for a strong, enduring romantic relationship. It’s all about G for Gratitude, A for Ability, M for Mindfulness, and E for Empathy. So, grab a seat, maybe a cup of tea, and let’s chat about how you can level up your game!

G for Gratitude: The Power of Appreciation

First up, we have Gratitude. It’s the art of appreciating what you have, paying more attention to and recognizing the positive aspects of your life, especially your relationship. When you focus on the good, it enhances your happiness and strengthens your bond with your partner. What you focus on expands; it’s part of the secrets of attraction.

Why is Gratitude Important?

Gratitude shifts your focus from what’s lacking to what you already have. This simple shift can make a world of difference in your relationship. When you appreciate your partner and the things they do, it creates a positive feedback loop. They feel valued and are more likely to continue those behaviors that make you happy. If you are familiar with the parable of talents in the scriptures, it’s the same concept. It steals your focus away from being a victim to engaging your influence and seductive powers. Gratitude is also the first core pillar in our proprietary 3 core pillars, G.P.S. namely, God/Gratitude, purpose, and self. Obviously, we are not talking about extreme cases of abuse. Talk to your coach and they should be able to tell you if you are in an extreme case or not.

Here are 3 Ways to Practice Gratitude:

  1. Daily Reflection: Take a few minutes each day to reflect on what you appreciate in your life and relationship. Be intentional with this more so than your intentionality around setting boundaries and detecting narcissistic behaviors. Most people are busy playing the game of defense only. There is no game you can win by simply playing defense, particularly against your partner who should actually be on your team. Think about your partner’s qualities, shared experiences, and even the small gestures that made you smile. That’s how to play offense against the forces that are attacking relationships these days; not your partners as most people do, seemingly rightfully, since they are the ones that seem to offend you the most.
  2. Gratitude Journal: Write these reflections down. Keeping a gratitude journal helps you remember and cherish these moments.
  3. Express Appreciation: Don’t just keep it to yourself. Tell your partner what you appreciate about them. A simple “Thank you for making dinner, it was delicious” can go a long way. A simple “Thank you for being my rock, I appreciate you” goes a long way.

Unrealistic EXPECTATION in Relationships & Marriages ❤️ 2 Reasons why it DESTROYS…

A for Ability: Embrace Personal Growth

Next, we have Ability. This is all about continuous personal growth. Striving to become the best version of yourself without pressuring your partner to change in the name of “it takes two to tango”.  Tango is a dance right?  It’s okay if you start dancing and invite your partner into a dance too. Your growth not only enhances your self-confidence but also makes you a more attractive and fulfilling partner.

Why is Ability Important?

When you focus on your personal development, you bring more to the table in your relationship. You become more confident, more interesting, and more engaged. Confidence is sexy to all genders. This, in turn, attracts a more compatible partner and strengthens the connection you already have.

Here Are 3 Ways to Enhance Your Ability:

  1. Identify Areas for Improvement: Take a good look at yourself; the mirror. What skills, habits, or aspects of personal well-being could use some work?
  2. Set Goals: Once you’ve identified areas for improvement, set realistic and achievable goals. It could be anything from learning a new hobby to improving communication skills.
  3. Learn from Your Partner: Your partner is a great source of inspiration and knowledge. Be open to learning from their experiences and perspectives. That doesn’t mean agreement.

This is easier said than done. If you are in the middle of a crisis or conflict, it will be difficult for you to level up your game. Talk to your coach. Running away from a relationship is often not helpful as your problem follows you everywhere like the shadow that it is.

If you don’t have a coach, click here to contact us right after downloading our books for free. The books are “Get My Marriage Back” and “#1 Red Flag.”

M for Mindfulness: Be Present and Playful

Moving on to Mindfulness. This is about being fully present in the moment, fostering a deep connection with your partner. It’s about appreciating shared experiences and deepening intimacy.

Why is Mindfulness Important?

Mindfulness helps you to truly connect with your partner. It allows you to appreciate the little moments that make up your relationship. So it’s very much congruent with Gratitude. Being mindful means you’re more likely to respond rather than react, especially during conflicts. Think about it. When it comes to engaging your power, you have to be mindful and intentional. When it comes to being a victim, sure others can victimize you, but you just need to feel like a victim to be one. Which would you rather be when you have an option?

Here Are 3 Ways to Practice Mindfulness:

  1. Mindfulness Exercises: Engage in practices like meditation, deep breathing, and even prayer. I am not talking about typical Nigerian “kill the witches” ways of prayer. That’s being a perpetual victim. I pray you won’t have to yield to that. I am talking about staying grounded and present.
  2. Active Listening: When your partner is talking, really listen to understand. When you can, put away distractions like phones and focus on what they’re saying.
  3. Be Present: During your time together, be fully present. Enjoy your partner’s company by showing interest in their expressions without the constant interruptions of daily life.

E for Empathy: Understand and Share Feelings

Last but certainly not least, we have Empathy. This is the ability to understand and share your partner’s feelings. It’s about building trust and creating a safe space for authentic expression from your partner.

Why is Empathy Important? Empathy builds a strong emotional bond between partners. It fosters trust and makes your partner feel understood and valued. This is crucial for any healthy relationship.

Here Are 3 Ways to Cultivate Empathy:

  1. Active Listening Again: Should you be reading minds? No. Just pay attention to your partner’s words and beyond; their emotions. Try to understand their perspective.
  2. Validate Emotions: Acknowledge your partner’s feelings without judgment. Let them know their emotions are valid.
  3. Nonverbal Cues: Pay attention to body language and other nonverbal signals. These can provide deeper insight into your partner’s feelings.

So, there you have it – G.A.M.E. in a nutshell. By focusing on Gratitude, Ability, Mindfulness, and Empathy, you can establish a strong foundation for a lasting romantic relationship. Remember, a strong relationship requires effort from your partner as well, but leveling up on your own G.A.M.E. can positively influence the dynamic and inspire your partner to reciprocate in ways that you desire.

So, take these principles to heart and start cultivating your G.A.M.E. today. Your relationship will thank you for it! And remember, I’m always here to help you along the way. If you need more tips or personalized advice, don’t hesitate to reach out by clicking here

Over there, you can also download our two books for free: “Get My Marriage Back” and “#1 Red Flag.”

Keep playing the game of love with gratitude, ability, mindfulness, and empathy. You’ve got this!

Frequently Asked Question

How can I strengthen my marriage?

Strengthen your marriage by practicing gratitude, continuous personal growth, mindfulness, and empathy through the principles of G.A.M.E.

How can I improve the quality of my marriage?

Improve your marriage by focusing on appreciation, personal development, being present, and understanding your partner’s emotions.

How do you rebuild a failing marriage?

Rebuild a failing marriage by embracing gratitude, enhancing personal abilities, practicing mindfulness, and cultivating empathy, as outlined in G.A.M.E.

What are the tips to solve relationship problems?

Practice gratitude, focus on personal growth, be mindful and present, and cultivate empathy.

What is the hardest time in a relationship?

The hardest time in a relationship is often when the honeymoon phase fades, and partners feel overwhelmed and neglected.

How to deal with relationship issues?

Address relationship issues by focusing on your own growth, practicing mindfulness, and showing empathy toward your partner.

How to fix a failing relationship?

Fix a failing relationship by enrolling in resources like the Prestige Marriage Academy to learn and apply the principles of G.A.M.E. (Gratitude, Ability, Mindfulness, and Empathy).

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SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE 🚨 5 Steps INSTANT Cure to Silent Treatment, Malice-Keeping & Stonewalling

Before we dive into today’s topic, I want to share a powerful testimonial from one of our viewers, Toun82, who perfectly captures the essence of what we’ll be discussing today:

SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE , Silent Treatment, Malice-Keeping & Stonewalling

Toun82 says,

“The pursuit of fairness is the beginning of failure in a relationship’ – so profound! This is very true. Someone I was previously in a relationship with was the typical ‘nice guy’. There is a saying about nice guys seeing women as slot machines. They put in some goodness and automatically expect a positive outcome all the time. When we had arguments he would always say how it wasn’t fair and ‘after all I’ve done for you’. He would proceed to list all the things he did for me. He was seriously keeping tabs!! He also did the silent treatment and admittedly, I did too, because I realized he was always coming in with a combative attitude when it came to resolving issues. He wanted to be right above actually listening and trying to find a resolution. So, I would shut down as well. But whenever I did the silent treatment in return, he would bring it up and the actual reason we got into the issue would be lost and the focus would be on me not talking to him (deflection). It was such a vicious cycle 😅”

Thank you, Toun82, for sharing your experience. It highlights the destructive nature of keeping score in a relationship and how it leads to a cycle of silence and conflict. Now, let’s dive into our topic for today: the silent treatment, also known as stonewalling or keeping malice.

First, let’s clarify: we’re not talking about temporary shutdowns or withdrawals that happen within 24 hours to de-escalate arguments. In this video coaching session, we’re focusing on stonewalling that extends beyond 24 hours and occurs repeatedly.

Trigger warning for the victim-shaming detectives: If you are a victim of silent treatment for 24 hours or longer multiple times over the course of your relationship, you have either participated in and/or enabled the behavior. You might have felt like you had no other choice because you are dealing with a coconut head (egotistical maniac). Not so easy; that’s your partner.

The victim or perpetrator of these manipulative behaviors are just as affected; they both suffer. If children are involved, they, unfortunately, suffer too. So, this is not really the time to engage in blaming and shaming your partner. That’s what most people do, and it will directly affect and condemn you just as much. It doesn’t help.

We’ll break down five steps to save your marriage from the harmful effects of silence and malice, and along the way, we’ll share some real-life stories to illustrate these points. So, let’s get started!

Step 1: Assess The Part and the Role You Played

When Sarah and Tom were first married, they communicated well. But over the years, things changed. Sarah noticed that whenever there was a disagreement, Tom would shut down and give her the silent treatment. She felt like she was walking on eggshells, trying to avoid triggering his silence.

Then Sarah stumbled upon a simple concept that emphasized understanding each other’s communication styles. It was difficult to set her own feelings aside, but she learned to assess her role in their conflicts. Sarah realized that her approach often made Tom feel attacked, causing him to shut down. She managed to get him involved, and they worked on healthier communication strategies, temporarily saving their marriage from the brink of divorce.

However, Tom’s habit of using the silent treatment had a much greater impact than the isolated issues they discussed. Eventually, it consumed their relationship and led to the end of their marriage.

While Sarah made significant strides by assessing her role and trying to change her approach, there were deeper issues that needed to be addressed. To truly save their marriage, Sarah also needed to understand the underlying reasons for Tom’s tendency to shut down and give the silent treatment. This could involve exploring past traumas, communication styles, and emotional triggers with the help of a professional. But now, we are almost asking Sarah to become Tom’s therapist. It’s not sustainable. But this is, after all, only the first step.

They would both need to establish a safe space where they could express their feelings without fear of retribution. Sarah needed to ensure that Tom felt heard and understood. This is easier said than done as she has been on the receiving end of emotional abuse. Also, Tom needed to work on articulating his emotions rather than resorting to silence.

By not addressing these deeper issues and not seeking professional help sooner to get through all the steps, they missed the opportunity to build a stronger foundation for their marriage.

It’s easy to point fingers when things go wrong in a relationship. But the first step to resolving conflict is self-reflection. Ask yourself, “What role did I play in this situation?” This isn’t about blaming yourself but understanding how your actions might have contributed to the problem.

Step 2: Do Not Create Excuses for Your Partner

Back in college, Lisa dated someone who always justified his silence by saying he needed time to think. Whenever there was an issue, he would disappear for days, leaving Lisa anxious and confused. After listening to random advice, she would make excuses for him, thinking he just needed space.

One day, Lisa discovered one of our videos discussing emotional manipulation and realized that his silent treatment was a form of control. Instead of making excuses, Lisa confronted the issue head-on in her next relationship. A relationship was clearly destroyed due to the lack of effective communication, and we will never know whose loss it was.

It’s normal to want to protect your partner if you love them, but making excuses for their behavior can prevent both of you from addressing the root cause of the problem. Excusing silent treatment can perpetuate the cycle of miscommunication and unresolved conflict.

When Sophie and her partner, Alex, moved in together, Alex would often retreat into silence after arguments. Sophie, wanting to keep the peace, would excuse his behavior, thinking he just needed space. This went on until Sophie realized that by making excuses, she was enabling Alex’s avoidance.

As a second step, it’s important for a victim of the silent treatment to acknowledge their feelings and not make excuses for their partner’s behavior. That doesn’t make the partner automatically guilty.

Is My Husband a Narcissist? (Take The Quiz)

Step 3: Let the Silent Treatment and Malice-Keeping Cycle Run

When James was a kid, he witnessed his parents’ toxic cycle of silent treatments that would last for weeks. As an adult, James found himself repeating this pattern in his own marriage. Whenever he was upset, he would shut down, hoping his wife would realize she was wrong and apologize.

During a rough patch, another three-week silent treatment cycle began. James’ wife suggested they see a marriage coach, which he rejected for the fifth time. Sometimes his rejections were outright, while other times they both got lost in the midst of his stonewalling. She chose to engage the help of a coach personally. The coach advised her to let the silent treatment cycle run its course while working on herself. It was difficult, but it was worth it.

By not forcing an immediate resolution and focusing on self-improvement, James’ wife started a process that eventually broke the cycle. They learned to address conflicts more constructively, rebuilding their relationship from the ground up. Don’t let anyone convince you with “once a narcissist, always a narcissist.” We all have a little narcissism in us.

Completing the cycle means allowing the stonewaller to calm down and become open to easing back into small talks. Often, allowing the silent treatment to complete a cycle is a first step. The other person, usually uncomfortable with malice-keeping, might have “pre-ejaculated” an insincere apology, which continues to enable the behavior. Letting the cycle complete injects a level of newness into the relationship. However, this is difficult without Step 4. Without Step 4, it becomes manipulation and creates more frustration in the relationship.

Sometimes, trying to force a resolution can backfire. It’s important to allow the cycle of silence to run its course. This doesn’t mean accepting the silent treatment because that will never work. It’s not sustainable to try to live with it.

If you don’t have a coach yet to help and support you through these 5 crucial steps, visit www.PrestigeMarriageAcademy.com where you can also download two free books: “Get My Marriage Back” and “#1 Red Flag.”

After an intense argument, Lisa and John would go days without speaking because Lisa would shut down. Usually, John would crawl back and apologize, feeling trapped in a never-ending cycle. A coach suggested letting the cycle run its course. Initially, John wondered, “For how long?” It created additional anxiety for him. But that’s where Step 4 comes in.

Step 4: Simultaneously Engage in Self-Improvement

Emma had always been the peacemaker in her family, avoiding conflicts at all costs. When her husband started giving her the silent treatment, Emma felt lost and didn’t know how to handle the situation without causing more tension.

Emma began reading self-help books and attending workshops on personal growth and communication. As she grew more confident and self-aware, she started addressing issues directly but calmly. Her husband noticed the change and began to open up more. Their marriage improved significantly as they both worked on themselves and their communication.

While it’s tempting to focus solely on fixing the relationship or your partner, working on yourself can have a profound impact. Self-improvement can help you manage your emotions better when triggered, communicate more effectively, and set a positive example for your partner.

Michael always felt helpless during his wife’s silent treatment episodes. It seemed like no matter what he did, nothing improved their communication. After watching one of our videos on seduction, Michael decided to change his approach. Instead of reacting to his wife’s silence with frustration, he started showing appreciation for the little things she did. Slowly, she began to respond positively, and they rebuilt their relationship on a stronger foundation.

When you work on yourself, you join the top 5% who are actively making things happen. Most people are passive, feeling like victims of circumstance. By engaging your power to seduce and influence, you can inspire the change you desire.

Step 5: Seduce Your Partner into Building a Better Foundation

After a rough patch, Emma decided to surprise her husband, Dave, with a weekend getaway. She also started leaving little notes of appreciation around the house. These small gestures made Dave feel valued and loved, encouraging him to reciprocate. They began to rebuild their foundation, focusing on the positive aspects of their relationship.

Rekindling the romance and building a better foundation takes effort and creativity. Show your partner that you’re committed to improving yourself and creating opportunities for connection.

Remember, dealing with silent treatment and malice-keeping isn’t about winning or losing; it’s about understanding, growing, and finding healthier ways to communicate.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does silent treatment do to a woman?

The silent treatment can make a woman feel ignored, undervalued, and emotionally distressed, damaging the relationship over time.

How do you respond to silent treatment?

Respond by calmly addressing the issue, self-reflecting on your role in the conflict, and focusing on personal growth and effective communication.

What type of person uses the silent treatment?

Individuals who use the silent treatment often struggle with emotional regulation and may use it as a control mechanism or a way to avoid conflict.

How to break the silence in a marriage?

Break the silence by assessing your role, not making excuses for your partner, allowing the cycle to run, engaging in self-improvement, and seducing your partner into rebuilding the relationship.

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5 Things to Know Before Marriage & Why It’s Never Too Late to Learn.

Are you curious about what to know before marriage? Well, good news is also that you can engage and master this information at any point during the marriage as well. Often times, you won’t be able to comprehend some of these stuff until you experience the related issue. And that’s okay.

So today, we’re diving into something super important: “5 Things to Know Before Marriage & Why It’s Never Too Late to Learn.” Whether you’re single, engaged, or already married, these insights can help you build or rebuild a strong foundation for your relationship. Let’s jump right in!

Thing #5 – Conflict is Inevitable

Let’s kick things off with a big one: conflict is inevitable. Now, when I first married Lola, I thought our disagreements were pretty mild. But, as it turned out, Lola saw things very differently. She resented any moment of conflict, which made it hard for us to resolve our issues. We ended up pushing our problems under the rug, which only made things worse.

Before we got married, we seemed to agree on everything. I was raised to see a disagreement as just that – a disagreement. But for Lola, arguments triggered a lot of fear and anxiety. It felt like we were speaking different languages.

Our premarital counseling didn’t really prepare us for this. It’s not that our counselor didn’t cover conflict resolution, but we just couldn’t grasp it without the real-life experience of conflict. What I’ve learned, and what I want to share with you, is that conflict resolution skills are crucial. You need to know how to handle disagreements constructively.

Thing #4 – Friendship is Non-negotiable

Next up is friendship. In recent times, I’ve seen a lot of people, especially women, dismissing the idea of being friends with their spouses. This often comes from past disappointments. Imagine falling in love with someone you considered your best friend, only to be betrayed by them. It’s natural to associate that betrayal with the idea of friendship.

Early in our marriage, Lola and I questioned everything that made us fall in love, including our friendship. I wondered if she was ever truly my friend, and I felt disrespected because we were so close. This confusion lasted for years until we realized we were sabotaging one of the best parts of our relationship.

Friendship in marriage is an opportunity, not a threat. If you feel like you’ve never had a natural friendship with your partner, it can be built. Leverage the positive attributes you have in common as romantic partners. Genuine liking – even if it’s not sexual – is a great foundation.

Since we started seeing our friendship as an opportunity, conflict resolution has become almost effortless. It’s been blissful.

Thing #3 – It’s Not How Long, It’s How Well

When we first discovered our prestige marriage system, people would often ask, “So you think you have all the answers?” I saw this as fear stemming from their own personal trauma. After about 9-10 years of marriage and discovering the secrets of the prestige marriage system, we learned to release our obsession with the past and our anxiety about the future.

The secret is simple: wake up every day determined to make it the best day ever in your marriage. Address issues openly and honestly as they arise, with respect to emotional intelligence. Focus on the quality of your marriage on a moment-to-moment basis. This approach not only builds a quality marriage but also increases the chances of having a long-term, happy relationship.

Thing #2 – In Marriage, You Need Game

There’s a common saying that goes, “There’s nothing worse than marrying the wrong person.” While it’s natural for people in terrible relationships to feel this way, it often comes down to a lack of knowledge and skills. This speaks to a level of arrogance and disrespect towards marriage as an institution.

Think about it – we don’t treat any other institution this way. We don’t jump into a job or a degree program without preparation and then blame fate when it doesn’t work out. Yet, many people do this with marriage. They wing it, and when it fails, they say things like “I married the wrong person.”

In reality, it’s often a lack of “game” – or skills – that’s the problem. There are principles that apply across the board in marriage, and it’s crucial to learn and apply them. Your “game” should focus on self-awareness, power dynamics, social skills, attraction, and emotional intelligence. Effective communication isn’t just about talking assertively; it’s about understanding and being understood.

When you approach marriage with intentionality and a willingness to acquire skills, you set yourself up for success. Throwing your hands up and leaving things to luck is a losing strategy.

Thing #1 – Sex is a Necessity

Lastly, let’s talk about sex. Growing up, neither my parents nor Lola’s parents gave us any kind of sex education. We had to figure out what’s healthy and what’s not on our own. On top of that, sex was heavily demonized in our religious communities.

While these teachings were meant to promote self-control, they backfired. Sex is a part of reality and human needs; avoiding it is counterproductive. It’s necessary to educate yourself about sex in marriage. Healthy sex life feeds your marriage just as much as a healthy relationship feeds your sex life.

A healthy sex life also impacts other areas of life. It fosters a strong connection at home, which in turn fuels an exciting life outside the marriage. You can almost always tell when someone is sexually fulfilled at home by how they carry themselves professionally.

As part of mastering the “game” inside marriage, one crucial aspect to understand is that you should never lead with sex, even when the primary issue at hand is sexlessness. This might sound counterintuitive, but let’s break it down.

Sex is an intimate and sensitive topic, and when it becomes a point of contention, approaching it directly and aggressively can create additional tension and discomfort. Leading with demands or complaints about sex can make your partner feel pressured, judged, or inadequate. This often leads to defensiveness and further withdrawal, exacerbating the problem instead of solving it.

Instead, focus on building a strong emotional connection and fostering open, non-judgmental communication. Start by addressing the underlying issues that might be affecting your intimacy. Are there unresolved conflicts, stressors, or emotional barriers? Often, a lack of sexual intimacy is a symptom of deeper issues within the relationship.

The 5 Best Advices Ever For Modern Marriages

Start with something as simple as: “What’s wrong babe? You know you can trust me right?”

Prioritize creating a safe and loving environment where your partner feels valued and understood. Show appreciation for them and engage in activities that strengthen your bond outside the bedroom. This could be anything from spending quality time together, engaging in shared hobbies, or simply being more affectionate in everyday interactions.

As you work on strengthening your emotional connection, with attraction sex should be feel almost effortless at that point.  Express your desires without placing blame or making demands. For example, you might say, “I miss the closeness we used to have, and I would love for us to find a way to reconnect in that way,” rather than “We never have sex anymore, and it’s a problem.”

This approach helps to build trust and openness, making it easier for your partner to engage in conversations about improving your sex life. When they feel safe and appreciated, they are more likely to be receptive to finding solutions together.

Remember, sex is an important part of marriage, but it thrives on a foundation of emotional intimacy, respect, and understanding. By leading with empathy and focusing on strengthening your overall relationship, you’ll create an environment where a fulfilling and mutually satisfying sex life can naturally flourish.

RECAP…

So there you have it – 5 essential things to know before marriage and why it’s never too late to learn. Conflict is inevitable, but with the right skills, you can handle it. Friendship is non-negotiable, and it’s an opportunity, not a threat. Focus on the quality of your marriage rather than the length. In marriage, you need game – the skills to navigate challenges effectively. And lastly, sex is a necessity for a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

If you are already in a marriage and you are going through any of this issues, it’s not too late.  I suggest that you avoid being confrontational and consider using the help of a coach to help you navigate and facilitate your desired outcome.  It’s worth it.

If you don’t already have a coach, go to www.prestigemarriageacademy.com to secure one immediately. 

Frequently Asked Questions

What a woman should know before marriage?

A woman should know that conflict is inevitable and developing strong conflict resolution skills is essential for a healthy marriage.

What is the first step before getting married?

The first step before getting married is to build a solid foundation of friendship and emotional connection with your partner.

What should you avoid before marriage?

Before marriage, avoid making assumptions about your compatibility and instead focus on open communication and understanding each other’s needs and expectations.

What are the questions needed to ask before marriage?

Before marriage, ask questions about each other’s values, goals, communication styles, conflict resolution approaches, and expectations for intimacy and partnership.

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