Marriage Counseling – Can It Help Alleviate Your Relationship Stress?

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but marriage counseling can help if you feel like it’s not working.

Marriage counselors can be individuals with long-term experience (10 years or more) in marriage with ups and downs.

They can also be psychologists or marriage and family therapists who have graduated with degrees in marriage counseling or marriage therapy.

They are trained to work with couples to improve their relationship, strengthen trust, manage conflict and resolve problems that may be causing the marriage tension.

Marriage Counseling

Counseling has helped many couples find new approaches to solving old problems by teaching them how to communicate more effectively…

…about what they want from each other, listen better, make compromises, avoid power struggles, understand each others’ needs for closeness and independence…

…set realistic goals for themselves as individuals and as a couple and learn how to forgive one another when mistakes happen.

Here Are Some of the Topics We’ll Go Through in this Post:

  1. Marriage Counseling In Detail
  2. How does Marriage Counseling Work
  3. Types of Marriage Counselors
  4. How marriage counseling can help alleviate marriage stress
  5. How to find Marriage Counselors near you?

Let’s get started…

Marriage Counseling in Detail

Marriage Counseling in Detail

This is a special type of therapy that involves marriage and one or more partners.

Counselors typically help couples work through issues they are experiencing in their marriage.

Counselors provide marriage advice to help couples improve their marriage and the underlying relationship.

They may offer therapy services as a marriage counselor, marriage and family therapists, cognitive-behavioral therapists, and more.

Some counselors will specialize in certain areas such as substance abuse and emotional or mental illness.

When looking for a family therapist, it is important to find someone who is licensed and qualified or a licensed clinical social worker.

For counseling and coaching, a license is not necessary but a regular married couple with experience is absolutely worth everything.

Many marriage counselors offer free consultation or training webinars so you have a meaningful encounter with the counselor and see if they are a good fit for you.

Couples counseling can be very helpful in resolving issues in a marriage and improving the overall relationship.

It can provide couples with the tools they need to communicate better, manage conflict, and resolve problems.

If you are experiencing some relationship issues, couples counseling may be the solution for you.

Although marriage counseling is often seen as a last resort, it can be a very effective way to save a marriage that is in trouble.

If you and your spouse are considering couples therapy, here are some things you should know.

1. Marriage counseling is not just for legally married couples who are on the brink of divorce.

It can also be helpful for any type of couple who are struggling with communication issues or who have been married for a long time and want to revitalize their relationship.

2. Marriage counseling is not cheap.

It can be expensive, depending on your location. 

For instance, marriage counseling in New York City is more expensive than marriage counseling in Dallas.

However, it may be worth the investment, especially if it helps you to save your marriage.

I can guarantee you that divorce is much more expensive than marriage counseling.

3. Marriage counseling is typically used to involve meeting one-on-one or in a group setting.

These days, a lot can be done even more productively via virtual meetings, workshops, and seminars.

4. There are different kinds of marriage counseling.

You and your spouse may want to consider individual sessions or marriage counseling with a friend or relative in attendance as support.

We recommend personal individual marriage counseling sessions for you as 80% of the work you want to do or risk wasting money on treating marriage counseling as an argument platform.

How Does Marriage Counseling Work

How Does Marriage Counseling Work

When it comes to marriage counseling, there are a few different methods that might be used.

The most common one is cognitive behavioral therapy, which focuses on helping people identify and change the thoughts and behaviors that are causing them problems.

Other common methods include marriage and family therapy, which helps to address family conflict, and emotionally focused therapy.

It helps couples to understand and manage their emotional responses to each other.

Some family therapists also offer online therapy, which can be a great option for people who live far away from a therapist or who don’t feel comfortable meeting in person.

Online therapy is also a good choice for people who want to remain anonymous or who don’t have enough money to pay for traditional therapy.

You get to save money, energy, and resources while potentially creating even better results due to heightened engagement with the process.

One thing to keep in mind when choosing a marriage counselor is that not all of them are licensed or clinical social workers.

If you’re looking for someone who has specific training in marriage and family therapy, then you should make sure that the counselor you choose is licensed in that area.

Just keep in mind that a license is not the same thing as experience and experience is still the best teacher.

If you’re not sure whether couples therapy is right for you, many marriage counselors offer a free consultation or free virtual webinars to help you decide.

By contacting a marriage counselor, you might be able to learn how marriage counseling works and whether it’s right for you and your spouse’s emotional health.

Types of Marriage Counselors

There are marriage counselors that use different types of marriage counseling techniques and strategies.

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Some offer treatment in their private practice while some work with people who seek marriage counseling through public service providers.

Some marriage counselors specialize in individual therapy and others specialize in couples therapy.

There are marriage counselors who provide couple counseling at their own pace and others who provide therapy on a schedule.

Marriage counselors also help people with multicultural issues, domestic violence, or other problems they might be encountering in their families.

Many marriage counselors have additional techniques and strategies that they can employ when needed to solve these problems.

There are many therapists available for relationship issues, but it is best to find a therapist that has certain qualifications beyond licenses and degrees.

Marriage has changed a lot in the past few decades.  Many licensed therapists are stuck on oil school concepts that only worked in the stone age.

Some Marriage Counselors Offer Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT, is a type of psychotherapy that is used to treat a variety of mental health disorders.

It is a short-term, goal-oriented therapy that focuses on the relationships between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Some marriage counselors are first responders, meaning that they are specially trained to deal with critical incidents and trauma.

They often provide therapy to people who have been through a traumatic experience such as a natural disaster, being in a car accident, or being a victim of crime.

Marriage counseling can help these individuals process the trauma they have experienced and move on with their lives.

Marriage counseling can also be helpful for relationships in general.

Many couples find marriage counseling to be a valuable treatment for improving their family trauma and conflict.

Marriage counseling can help couples address issues that are causing stress in their relationship and work through them to improve communication and conflict resolution.

If you are considering marriage counseling, it is very important to…

Do Your Research and Find a Marriage and Family Therapist or Services That You Can Trust,

Do Your Research and Find a Marriage and Family Therapist or Services That You Can Trust,

…marriage counselors that have expertise in marriage counseling, and those whose practice meets the goals you have for your marriage.

How Marriage Counseling Can Help Alleviate Marriage Stress

Most marriage counseling starts with the marriage counselor doing a marriage assessment.

The marriage therapist will then diagnose what is happening in the marriage and work to build on any strengths that are present.

The marriage therapist will also examine how each spouse’s past has influenced their marriage.

Psychotherapy is also used to help couples build on their relationship by teaching them some new ways to communicate best with one another.

Marriage counseling can be a big help in alleviating marriage anxiety because it can allow both spouses to discuss their feelings openly and find ways of solving their problems together.

It is often effective because the marriage counselor doesn’t have any personal agendas or biases.

Private practice marriage counselors are trained in different therapeutic approaches, including couple’s therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, narrative therapy, transactional analysis, humanistic psychotherapy, and many more.

The marriage counselor will also help teach couples how to communicate with each other effectively by listening to one another and healthily discussing their feelings.

Marriage counseling is also helpful because it allows the marriage therapist to diagnose what is causing stress and problems in the marriage.

This information can be used therapeutically to build on any strengths present within the marriage, as well as find ways of alleviating marriage stress.

Relationship issues cannot be fixed easily since it takes effort from both of them to make this work.

Hopping from one therapist to another is not a solution, so you must find the right therapy services that can help you and your partner.

Many marriage counselors offer their services at an affordable price, so there is no need to worry about that.

The following are some of the ways marriage counseling can help:

The following are some of the ways marriage counseling can help:

1. Provide couples with advice on how to deal with conflict.

2. Help couples learn how to communicate better with each other.

3. Help couples in treating anxiety and with their anger management.

How to find Marriage Counselors Near You?

The easiest way to find marriage counselors near you is to use an online search engine like Google.

Marriage counselors are usually listed by name, address, and phone number.

You can also look in the phone book or ask your insurance company for marriage counseling providers.

If marriage counselors near you are not listed on any of these places, contact a mental health agency and inquire about marriage counseling options.

If you cannot afford how much it costs, try to find marriage therapists who offer sliding scale payment programs.

Some marriage counselors provide free consultation on initial sessions after which they will discuss fees with their patients.

Some marriage counselors provide free consultation on initial sessions after which they will discuss fees with their patients.

Mental health agencies may only charge based upon what their clients can afford to pay.

Mental health agencies tend to be less expensive than private practices but may not offer individual therapy (rather in group sessions).

Remember that many therapists and mental health professionals offer free consultations via phone or in-person

…so you can get more information on the nearest marriage counselors and their practice.

Marriage counselors may include: 

  1. Marriage therapists
  2. Marriage counselors
  3. Marriage social workers
  4. Marriage psychologists
  5. Marriage psychotherapists
  6. Marriage rehabilitation specialists
  7. Marriage consultants
  8. Marriage counselors and 
  9. Marriage coaches with real-life experiences in marriage.

You can search for marriage counseling providers using any of these titles or the more general term mental health counselor (MHC).

Mental Health Counselors are not regulated in most states so they could have a degree from an accredited school or one that is not accredited by the American Psychological Association or other governing body.

While there are no laws against calling oneself a therapist without proper license or training others who provide therapeutic services, they should be held accountable if their lack of qualifications causes harm to their clients.

When looking for a marriage counselor, it is important to find someone with whom you feel comfortable and who has experience treating the issues that you are facing.

Some marriage counselors specialize in certain areas such as substance abuse, anxiety, depression, or anger management.

While others focus on working with couples therapy or family conflict.

If you are considering marriage counseling, be sure to ask potential marriage counselors the following questions:

If you are considering marriage counseling, be sure to ask potential marriage counselors the following questions:
  • What kind of training or experience do you have in marriage counseling service?
  • Do you use any specific evidence-based approaches in your work?
  • Do you have a sliding scale payment program if marriage counseling is not covered by insurance?
  • Can I do marriage counseling sessions over the phone or online?
  • How often should we meet face to face?

Conclusion

Marriage counseling can be a great way to help alleviate marriage stress and the negative effects that individual differences have on both partners in a relationship.

They will provide you with marriage therapy that is tailored to your needs as well as any other issues in your relationship, such as parenting or finances.

Marriage therapists are not always able to solve problems, but they can work through them and teach spouses how to manage their emotional health responses

…so they don’t become an ongoing issue for the couple.

When deciding if marriage counseling is right for you, think about what you will gain from going into marriage therapy sessions:

Relief from marriage stress?

Relief from marriage stress?

Improved communication skills?

A more healthy partnership?

If these sound like things worth working towards then it might be time for a consultation with one of the marriage counselors near you.

Marriage counseling can be a great way for couples to learn how to communicate more effectively and work through marriage problems and issues.

You must find marriage counselors near you who are experienced in these matters, so don’t hesitate to ask questions about their qualifications before agreeing on setting an appointment time.

The marriage counselor will then help the couple decide what they need most from each other at this point – whether it is another chance or some space away from one another.

Due to the sensitivity of marriage counseling, many people prefer confidentiality during sessions with their therapist which means there may not be any phone numbers listed online for them to contact either person directly after therapy has ended.

However, given the sensitive nature of marriage counseling, if you want your spouse involved as well but they refuse, this could actually be a great advantage.

Another thing to consider is whether marriage counseling will be covered by your insurance or other company benefits that you use, as this may save you some money.

Marriage counseling is not cheap, but it can save a marriage.

Marriage counseling is not cheap, but it can save a marriage.  Divorce is much more expensive.

Marriage counselors are there to help couples find solutions for their problems so they don’t have to resort to divorce.

The cost of saving your marriage may be higher than you think at first glance, but the benefits that come with it are worth every penny spent on them.

If you or someone close to you is considering getting married, make sure this potential expense is accounted for in your budget before making any commitments.

With all of these important factors taken into consideration, it’s time to make an appointment with a marriage counselor near you today.

What is the success rate of marriage counseling?

The success rate of marriage counseling depends on the type of marriage counseling, but most agree that 50% is too low.

A typical success rate for traditional couple counseling would be 10-50%. This varies depending on how severely distressed the couple is and if their desires are realistic (such as wanting to save a marriage where there will never be love). Premarital prevention programs have about a 25% success rate. A sliding scale can help identify people who may benefit from this program.

What should I not tell a marriage counselor?

There are a few things you should never mention to a marriage counselor. For example, don’t talk about how much money your spouse makes, or how much you spent on the wedding. Don’t air your grievances about how your partner cleans or doesn’t clean enough. And don’t bring up any past indiscretions. Doing so will only make it more difficult for both of you to resolve the issues at hand.

Does counseling really help marriages?

There is a fair amount of evidence that suggests counseling can help marriages. A study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology found that spouses who participated in marital counseling were more likely to remain together after eight years than those who didn’t receive counseling. Counseling can help couples learn new skills, such as effective communication and problem-solving techniques, which can help them resolve conflicts before they become too damaging. It can also provide support and guidance during difficult times.

Can marriage counseling hurt a marriage?

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as the effects of marriage counseling will vary depending on the couple’s specific situation and the therapist’s approach. However, in general, marriage counseling can be beneficial for many couples, as it can help them communicate better and resolve conflicts.

Marriage Counselor ⁉️ Want to Save the Marriage ❤️ He is NOT Ready

A marriage counselor is professional, sometimes licensed, to ensure fruitful communication between a married couple.

Their job is not to decide for either of the two.

What’s the Success Rate for those who used the services of a Marriage Counselor?

Roughly 50% of distressed couples will have an improved, more satisfying marriage for 4+ years after counseling.

HusbandHelpHaven.com

But according to Psychologytoday.com, the success rate is now roughly around 75% for counselors who use Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT).

That’s good news because it means you can have thriving marriage just working as a team on emotional control.

Therefore as a platform here for you, we focus on the emotions of marriage and relationships.

Success Rate of Help Marriage Counselor

A marriage counselor can help with infidelity, infidelity recovery and trust issues if the session is not blame, guilt and fault focused.

Go there to figure out why it happened from a psychological standpoint and see if it’s possible to avoid it in the future.

WARNING! This is easier said than done because we are humans and naturally seek to blame something or someone for misfortunes.

Even people find themselves blaming God.

“What is infidelity in a marriage and why does it happen outside of the fact that it is not your fault?”

That is a question you need to get a marriage counselor to help you find answers to with respect to your particular relationship.

Well… As I just said, it is not your fault even if you are the offender; it’s not about faults, guilt and blame.

Let me explain…

Don’t get me wrong.

A Marriage Counselor May Help with In-Depth Understand of this…

A choice was made and the transgressor will help haling and recovery faster if he or she owns responsibility.

But there is a difference between taking responsibility and leaving in guilt and playing blame games.

A marriage is something that we all say “I do” to when we clearly don’t know what we are doing.

That’s the #1 reason why you may have found yourself in a mess…

In spite of the fact that at least one of you two feels like you or he/she loves the other.

Below is a question for us to address with this lesson…

“I have done all the mistakes because my husband just stopped taking my calls.

Everyone in the family called and tried to talk to him.

We are separated for just a year and the husband just doesn’t want to meet.

And we have no common platforms to work this marriage out.

He is not ready to sit.

I have no other option than to file a complaint and sit and tell…

What does he want?

I still want to save the marriage but he is not ready.

So I even agreed to let go of him with mutual divorce.

But he doesn’t want that even.

Don’t know what’s on his mind. I’m so stuck.”

Enjoy the video.

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Are you STRUGGLING in your... MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP?

Are you having a difficult time getting your spouse or the person you love on the same page?

Is your dream to build a happily ever after life heading down the drains?

I know...

The harsh reality is that the happiness in your marriage may be over...

IT'S BROKEN...

"Can it be saved?"

...And maybe you still even live in the house with your spouse as roommates, barely any sex or intimacy and probably in denial.

I get it.

You wonder...

"Is that the inevitable supposed and purposed end for marriages?"

You know you didn't bargain for such a painful experience.

In this FREE Book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK", you will discover the UNCOMMON secrets of...

HOW TO SAVE & FIX YOUR BROKEN MARRIAGE ALL BY YOURSELF EVEN WHEN THERE IS INFIDELITY OR YOU FEEL IT IS COMPLETELY OVER.

There’s nothing worse than being in a marriage you thought was ordained by God and feeling like you are in eternal bondage and it seems there will never be an end.

It feels very dark in your matrimonial home and you can’t even share your ordeal with anyone.

You try so many moves to save your marriage but your spouse just doesn’t care anymore;

...you feel as though he/she is no more the person you married.

Finally, you thought may be you should communicate more

But the very act of communication digs deeper and deeper holes of arguments, fights, emotional aches and more.

Exhausted, you share your experience with your family and now the whole family is in feud;

Your parents, siblings, on both sides of the family etc.

They have all caught feelings.

You wonder if your kids will have a home with both parents 6 months from now... it feels like no one cares or ever cared.

If you feel a connection to this reality at any level, I feel your pain.

We know what that feels like.

Inside this book, you will discover our full story from being madly in love to a completely destroyed marriage; DIVORCE and back together stronger.

Whatever "destroyed marriage" means in your imagination, we've been through it and it was basically impossible to fix our marriage.

We didn't fix it.

Get My Marriage BackWe created a brand new, better and stronger marriage empire on 3 pillars that you will discover in...

"GET MY MARRIAGE BACK."

May be your situation is not bad at all, every marriage will go through crisis as a test to take you to greatness.

This book will prepare you for it when it comes.

If you feel like your home is heading in a very bad direction, you can't stop arguing, you can't speak your mind etc... you need all 3 sections of this book.

  1. Emergency
  2. New Foundation
  3. Real Love Techniques

It's time for you to build that real love experience (that you bargained for when you got married to your spouse)

...from a very intentional and deliberate stand point.

Marriage is not a partnership and it's takes more than common sense.

I'm sure you are a smart person because you found your way here.

But clearly, your smartness and common sense hasn't worked out well in your marriage.

The secrets we share with you in this book work both in the ancient and even better in the civilized age.

What does a marriage counselor do?

Marriage counselor helps facilitates a fruitful communication between married couples.

What is the success rate of marriage counseling?

Marriage counseling has a 50% temporary success rate but increases significantly to 75% when focused on emotionally-focused therapy (EFT).

When should you see a marriage counselor?

You should definitely see a marriage counselor when at least one of the parties seek one and there are extended arguments. Don’t wait too long because every negative vibe adds up faster than you may feel.

How do I find a good marriage counselor?

A simple Google search will land you in from of a few marriage counselors in your area but be sure to check for reviews.

You may also like “How to Fix a Broken Marriage”

Marriage Counseling ❤️ 2 CRUCIAL Lessons You Must Take Away from The Session

Many married couples waste 1,000’s of dollars on marriage counseling because they go into it UNPREPARED.

Studies show a 40% divorce rate after marriage counseling.

Clearly, something is wrong with that horrible statistics.

Preparing for marriage counseling

2 things you have to pay attention to when next you agree to go to a marriage counseling are:

  1. Arguments and
  2. Masculine/feminine dynamics of your relationship.

(1) Arguments

There are many counselors and advisers teaching couples how to argue these days.

While I understand that the “high” of arguments makes some men feel closer to their wife in a weird way…

It’s best to avoid arguments all together.

There is a confusion between communication and arguments.

Arguments creates bad vibes that makes a typical woman loses respect for their husband.

An argument is simply the act of invalidating your spouses point of view; it’s an attack.

We all get defensive when we feel attacked.

But the main issue there is the fact that it’s all “feeling” driven.

That is to say we are not always able to put our fingers on what the issues are.

Instead of learning “how to argue” from a counseling session, ask him or her to teach you how to avoid arguments.

This is necessary at  least for the time being… arguments are to be avoided during a marriage crisis.

(2) Masculine/feminine dynamics

The modern marriage is struggling with gender roles and admitting that there is a difference between a man and woman.

The existence of the argument is the proof that you need to know that it absolutely affects the dynamics of happiness in your marriage.

Ask your marriage counselor to help you identify the particular gender, masculine, and feminine dynamics of your marriage.

It’s different from relationships to relationships.

Don’t avoid the conversation

Because what you don’t know or aware of can destroy your marriage.

Below is a question for us to address with this lesson…

“What happens if your partner always has to be right?

After 12 years, he still will never ever concede an argument.

Am I supposed to always back down?

I don’t always want to back down but my husband will never stop until he wins.”

Enjoy the video.

“Up to 38 percent of couples who receive marriage therapy get divorced 

within four years of completion.”

More interesting stats here

What is the success rate of marriage counseling?

Studies show a 40% divorce rate after marriage counseling.

So I guess we can safely say that 60% survived and saved the marriage.

If they were able to build a happy and healthy relationship beyond that is another question entirely.

Many couples live as room mates before and after a marriage counseling.

What happens at marriage counseling?

What should happen and what actually happens in a marriage counseling session are 2 different things.

The counselor’s job is to help by listening to both parties

…and help mediate on the issues.

So the mediation is a form of interpreting emotions and feelings to each other as that is usually the root of most disagreements.

Can marriage counseling really help?

Marriage counseling can definitely help but with doing the work beyond the session.

Good feelings at the end of a counseling session is not enough.

The couple to remain committed to the work.

Lots of “emotional control” is needed to sustain the marriage long after the session has ended.

But of course…

It’s easier said than done.

When should you seek marriage counseling?

The best time to seek marriage counseling is at the beginning of a misunderstanding or dispute…

But not before any of the parties shuts down emotionally.

If one person shuts down, marriage counseling as a solution tends to be too late and a waste of time…

…Just another opportunity to argue.

It is better for the spouse who wants to save the marriage to leverage self development.

And possibly….

A personal coach

I would continue that until a brand new energy and relationship dynamics is created.

In order to get the other party to open up.


Are you STRUGGLING in your... MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP?

Are you having a difficult time getting your spouse or the person you love on the same page?

Is your dream to build a happily ever after life heading down the drains?

I know...

The harsh reality is that the happiness in your marriage may be over...

IT'S BROKEN...

"Can it be saved?"

...And maybe you still even live in the house with your spouse as roommates, barely any sex or intimacy and probably in denial.

I get it.

You wonder...

"Is that the inevitable supposed and purposed end for marriages?"

You know you didn't bargain for such a painful experience.

In this FREE Book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK", you will discover the UNCOMMON secrets of...

HOW TO SAVE & FIX YOUR BROKEN MARRIAGE ALL BY YOURSELF EVEN WHEN THERE IS INFIDELITY OR YOU FEEL IT IS COMPLETELY OVER.

There’s nothing worse than being in a marriage you thought was ordained by God and feeling like you are in eternal bondage and it seems there will never be an end.

It feels very dark in your matrimonial home and you can’t even share your ordeal with anyone.

You try so many moves to save your marriage but your spouse just doesn’t care anymore;

...you feel as though he/she is no more the person you married.

Finally, you thought may be you should communicate more

But the very act of communication digs deeper and deeper holes of arguments, fights, emotional aches and more.

Exhausted, you share your experience with your family and now the whole family is in feud;

Your parents, siblings, on both sides of the family etc.

They have all caught feelings.

You wonder if your kids will have a home with both parents 6 months from now... it feels like no one cares or ever cared.

If you feel a connection to this reality at any level, I feel your pain.

We know what that feels like.

Inside this book, you will discover our full story from being madly in love to a completely destroyed marriage; DIVORCE and back together stronger.

Whatever "destroyed marriage" means in your imagination, we've been through it and it was basically impossible to fix our marriage.

We didn't fix it.

Get My Marriage BackWe created a brand new, better and stronger marriage empire on 3 pillars that you will discover in...

"GET MY MARRIAGE BACK."

May be your situation is not bad at all, every marriage will go through crisis as a test to take you to greatness.

This book will prepare you for it when it comes.

If you feel like your home is heading in a very bad direction, you can't stop arguing, you can't speak your mind etc... you need all 3 sections of this book.

  1. Emergency
  2. New Foundation
  3. Real Love Techniques

It's time for you to build that real love experience (that you bargained for when you got married to your spouse)

...from a very intentional and deliberate stand point.

Marriage is not a partnership and it's takes more than common sense.

I'm sure you are a smart person because you found your way here.

But clearly, your smartness and common sense hasn't worked out well in your marriage.

The secrets we share with you in this book work both in the ancient and even better in the civilized age.

What is the success rate of marriage counseling?

Some studies show that the success rate of marriage counseling is 60%.

What happens at marriage counseling?

The counselor help listen to both sides and help mediate and interpret emotions and feelings to each other.

Can marriage counseling really help?

Marriage counseling can definitely help but with doing the work beyond the session.

When should you seek marriage counseling?

The best time to seek marriage counseling is at the beginning of a misunderstanding or dispute and before any of the parties shut down emotionally.